 Chapter 6 of an African Millionaire episodes in the life of the illustrious Colonel Clay. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Kirsten Weber. Chapter 6 of an African Millionaire episodes in the life of the illustrious Colonel Clay. By Grant Alley. The episode of the German Professor. That winter in town, my respected brother-in-law had little time on his hands to bother himself about trifles like Colonel Clay. A thunderclap burst upon him. He saw his chief interest in South Africa threatened by a serious and unexpected and a crushing danger. Charles does a little in gold and a little in land, but his principal operations have always lain in the direction of diamonds. Only once in my life, indeed, have I seen him pay the slightest attention to poetry, and that was when I happened one day to recite the lines, full many a gem of purest ray serene, the dark, unfathomed caves of ocean bear. He rubbed his hands at once and murmured enthusiastically. I never thought of that. We might get up an Atlantic exploration syndicate limited. So attached is he to diamonds. You may gather, therefore, what a shock it was to that gigantic brain to learn that science was rapidly reaching a point where his favorite gems might become, all at once, a mere drug in the market. The appreciation is the one bugbear that perpetually torments Sir Charles's soul. That winter he stood within measurable distance of so appalling a calamity. It happened after this man. We were strolling along Piccadilly towards Charles's club one afternoon. He is a prominent member of the Crises in Palmell, when near Burlington House, whom should we happen to knock up against but Sir Adolphus Courtery, the famous mineralogist and leading spirit of the Royal Society, he nodded to us pleasantly. Hello, Van Drift, he cried in his peculiarly loud and piercing voice. You're the very man I wanted to meet today. Good morning, Wentworth. Well, how about diamonds now, Sir Gorgias? You'll have to sing small. It's all up with you, Midasus. Heard about this marvelous new discovery of Schleiermacher's? It's calculated to make you Diamond King's squirm like an eel in a frying pan. I could see Charles wriggle inside his clothes. He was most uncomfortable. That a man like Quartery should say such things, in so loud a voice, on no matter how little foundation, openly in Piccadilly, was enough in itself to make a sensitive barometer such as Clouette d'Oracle-Candes go down a point or two. Hush, hush, Charles said solemnly in that odd tone of voice which he always assumes when money is blasphemed against. Please, don't talk quite so loud. All London can hear you. Sir Adolphus ran his arm through Charles's most amicably. There's nothing Charles hates like having his arm taken. Come along with me to the Athenaeum he went on in the same Centaurian voice and I'll tell you all about it. Most interesting discovery makes Diamonds cheap as dirt, calculated to supersede South Africa altogether. Charles allowed himself to be dragged along. There was nothing else possible. Sir Adolphus continued, in a somewhat lower key, induced upon him by Charles's mute look of protest. It was a disquieting story. He told it with gleeful auction. It seems that Professor Schleimermacher of Jena, the greatest living authority on the chemistry of gems, he said, had lately invented or claimed to have invented a system for artificially producing diamonds which had yielded most surprising and unexceptionable results. Charles lip curled slightly. Oh, I know the sort of thing, he said. I've heard of it before. Very inferior stones. Quite small and worthless. Produced at immense cost and even then not worth looking at. I'm an old bird, you know, quarterly. Not to be caught with chaff. Tell me a better one. Sir Adolphus produced a small cut gem from his pocket. How's that for the first water? He inquired, passing it across with a broad smile to the skeptic. Made under my own eyes and quite inexpensively, Charles examined it close, stopping short against the railings in St. James's Square to look at it with his pocket lens. There was no denying the truth. It was a capital small gem of the finest quality. Made under your own eyes, he exclaimed still incredulous. Where, my dear sir, Adyanna? The answer was a thunderbolt from a blue sky. No, here in London, last night as ever was, before myself and Dr. Gray, and about to be exhibited by the President himself at a meeting of Fellows of the Royal Society. Charles drew a long breath. This nonsense must be stopped, he said firmly. It must be nipped in the bud. It won't do, my dear friend. We can't have such tampering with important interests. How do you mean? Quarter he asked, astonished. Charles gazed at him steadily. I could see by the furtive gleam in my brother-in-law's eye he was distinctly frightened. Where is the fellow? he asked. Did he come himself or send over a deputy? Here in London, Sir Adolphus replied, he's staying at my house, and he says he'll be glad to show his experiments to anybody scientifically interested in diamonds. We propose to have a demonstration of the process tonight at Lancaster Gate. Will you drop in and see it? Would he drop in and see it? Drop in at such a function. Could he possibly stop away? Charles clutched the enemy's arms with a nervous grip. Look here, quarterly, he said, quivering. This is a question affecting very important interests. Don't do anything rash. Don't do anything foolish. Remember that shares may rise or fall on this? He said shares in a tone of profound respect that I can hardly even indicate. It was the crucial word in the creed of his religion. I should think it very probable, Sir Adolphus replied, with the callous indifference of the mere men of science to financial suffering. Sir Charles was bland but peremptory. Now observe, he said, a grave responsibility rests on your shoulders. The market depends upon you. You must not ask in any number of outsiders to witness these experiments. Have a few mineralogists and experts, if you like, but also take care to invite representatives of the menest interests. I will come myself. I'm engaged to dine out, but I can contract an indisposition, and I should advise you to ask Mosenheimer and, say, Young Phypsum. They would stand for the minds, as you and the mineralogists would stand for science. Above all, don't blab for heaven's sake, let there be no premature gossip. Tell Schleiermacher not to go gassing and boasting of his success all over London. We are keeping the matter a profound secret at Schleiermacher's own request, Cordery answered, more seriously. Which is why, Charles said in his Severus Tone, you balded out at the very top of your voice in Piccadilly. However, before nightfall everything was arranged to Charles' satisfaction, and off we went to Lancaster Gate with a profound expectation that the German professor would do nothing worth seeing. He was a remarkable looking man, once tall, I should say, from his long, thin build, but not bowed and bent with long devotion to study and leaning over a crucible. His hair, prematurely white, hung down upon his forehead, but his eye was keen and his mouth sagacious. He shook hands cordially with the men of science whom he seemed to know of old, whilst he bowed somewhat distantly to the South African interest. Then he began to talk, in very German English, helping out the sense now and again where his vocabulary failed him by waving his rather dirty and chemical stained hands demonstratively about him. His nails were a sight, but his fingers, I must say, had the delicate shape of a man's accustomed to minute manipulation. He plunged at once into the thick of the matter, telling us briefly in his equally thick accent that he now emblobosed by his new process to make far some good, and that is factually tense. He brought out his apparatus and explained, or as he said, eggs blend, his novel method. Timants, he said, were nothing but pure crystalline column. He knew how to crystallize it. That was all the secret. The men of science examined the pots and pans carefully. Then he put in a certain number of raw materials and went to work with ostentatious openness. There were three distinct processes, and he made two stones by each simultaneously. The remarkable part of his methods, he said, was their rapidity and their cheapness. In three quarters of an hour, and he smiled sardonically, he could produce a diamond worth at current prices 200 pounds sterling. As you shall not see me by thong, he remarked, this is this simple aboradus. The materials fizzed and fumed, and an unpleasant smell, like burnt feathers, pervaded the room. The scientific men craned their necks in their eagerness and looked over one another. Vain Vivien in particular was all attention. After three quarters of an hour, the professor, still smiling, began to empty the apparatus. He removed a large quantity of dust or powder, which he succinctly described as by-products, and then took between finger and thumb from the midst of each pan a small white pebble, not water-borne, apparently, but slightly rough and water-like on the surface. From one pair of the panikins, he produced two such stones and held them up before us triumphantly. Zis, he said, all genuine diamonds manufactured at a cost of what he'd shillings and six bends abyss. And he tried the second pair. Zis, he said, still more briefly, all produced at a cost of eleven and nine bends. Finally, he came to the third pair, which he positively brandished before our astonished eyes. And Zis, he cried, transported, have gossed minumals and twee and eight bends. They were handed round for inspection. Rough and uncut as they stood, it was, of course, impossible to judge of their value. But one thing was certain. The men of science had been watching close at the first and were sure Herr Schleiermacher had not put the stones in. They were keen at the withdrawal and were equally sure he had taken them honestly out of the panikins. Ivan all distributed them, the professor remarked in a casual tone, as if diamonds were peas, looking round at the company. And he singled out my brother-in-law. One to Sir Charles, he said, handing it, one to Mr. Mosvheimer, one to Mr. Fibbsen, as representing the diamond interest. Then, one each to Sir Atolfus, to Dr. Grein, to Mr. Feinfiffien, as representing science. You will have them cut and report upon them in dugores. We meet again at this place where they have their doomol. Charles gazed at him reproachfully. The profoundest chords of his moral nature were stirred. Professor, he said, in a voice of solemn mourning, are you aware that, if you have succeeded, you have destroyed the value of thousands of pounds worth of precious property? The professor shrugged his shoulders. Thought is that to me, he inquired with a curious glance of contempt, I am not a financier, I am a man of science. I seek to know, I do not seek to make a vulture. Shocking, Charles exclaimed. Shocking, I never before in my life beheld so strange an instance of complete insensibility to the claims of others. We separated early. The men of science were coarsely jubilant. The diamond interest exhibited a corresponding depression. If this news were true, they foresaw a slump. Every eye grew dim. It was a terrible business. Charles walked homeward with the professor. He sounded him gently as to the sum required should need arise to purchase his secrecy. Already Sir Adolphus had found us all down to temporary silence as if that were necessary, but Charles wished to know how much Schlermacher would take to suppress his discovery. The German was immovable. No, no. We replied with positive hedgellands. You do not understand. I do not buy and sell. This is a chemical fact. We must publish it for the sake of its theoretical value. I do not care for this. I have no time to waste in making money. What an awful picture of a misspent life Charles observed to me afterwards. And indeed the man seemed to care for nothing on earth but the abstract question not whether he could make good diamonds or not but whether he could or could not produce a crystalline form of pure carbon. On the appointed night Charles went back to Lancaster Gate and I could not fail to remark with a strange air of complete and painful preoccupation. Never before in his life had I seen him so anxious. The diamonds were produced with one surface of each slightly scored by the cutters so as to show the water. Then a curious result disclosed itself. Strange to say, each of the three diamonds given to the three diamond kings turned out to be a most inferior and valueless stone while each of the three entrusted to the care of the scientific investigators turned out to be a fine gem of the purest quality. I confess it was a sufficiently suspicious conjunction. The three representatives of the diamond interest had each other with the inquiring sideglasses. Then their eyes fell suddenly. They avoided one another. Had each independently substituted a weak and inferior natural stone for Professor Schleiermacher's manufactured pebbles? It almost seemed so. For a moment I admit I was half inclined to suppose it. But next second I changed my mind. Could a man of Sir Charles Van Drift's integrity and high principal stoop for a looker's sake to so mean and expedient? Not to mention the fact that, even if he did and if Mosenheimer did likewise, the stones submitted to the scientific men would have absolutely suffice to establish the reality and success of the experiments. Still, I must say Charles looked guiltfully across at Mosenheimer and Mosenheimer at Fipsen while three more uncomfortable or unhappy-faced men could hardly have been found at that precise minute in the city of Westminster. Then Sir Adolphus spoke, or rather he orated. He said in his loud and grating voice, we had that evening and on a previous evening been present at the conception and birth of an epic in the history of science. Professor Schleiermacher was one of those men of whom his native Saxony might well be proud. While as a Briton he must say he regretted somewhat that this discovery, like so many others, should have been made in Germany. However, Professor Schleiermacher was a specimen of that noble type of scientific men to whom gold was merely the rare metal AU and diamonds merely the element C in the scarcest of its manifold allotropic embodiments. The professor did not seek to make money out of his discovery. He rose above the sordid greed of capitalists, content with the glory of having traced the element C to its crystalline origin. He added no more than the approval of science. However, out of deference to the wishes of those financial gentlemen who were oddly concerned in maintaining the present price of C in its crystalline form, in other words, the diamond interest, they had arranged that the secret should be strictly guarded and kept for the present. Not one of the few persons admitted to the experiments would simply divulge the truth about them. This secrecy would be maintained till he himself and a small committee of the Royal Society should have time to investigate and verify for themselves the professor's beautiful and ingenious processes and investigation and verification which the learned professor himself both desired and suggested. Schleiermacher nodded approval. When that was done, if the process stood the test, further concealment would be absolutely futile. The price of diamonds must fall at once below that of paste and any protest on the part of the financial world would, of course, be useless. The laws of nature were superior to millionaires. Meanwhile, in deference to the opinion of Sir Charles van Drift, whose acquaintance with that fascinating side of the subject nobody could deny, they had consented to send no notices to the press and to abstain from saying anything about this beautiful and simple process in public. He dwelt with Harvard gusto on that epithet of beautiful. And now, in the name of British mineralogy, he must congratulate Professor Schleiermacher, our distinguished guest, on his truly brilliant and crystalline contribution to our knowledge of brilliance and of crystalline science. Everybody applauded. It was an awkward moment, Sir Charles bit his lip. Mosenheier looked glum. Young Phipsen dropped an expression which I will not transcribe. I understand this work may circulate among families. And after a solemn promise of deathlike secrecy, the meeting separated. I noticed that my brother-in-law somewhat ostentatiously avoided Mosenheier at the door and that Phipsen jumped quickly into his own carriage. Home, Charles cried gloomily to the coachman as we took our seats in the broom and all the way to Mayfair, he leaned back in his seat with close set lips, never uttering a syllable. Before he retired to rest, however, in the privacy of the billiard room, I ventured to ask him, Charles, will you unload Balkanda's tomorrow? Which I need hardly explain is the slang of the stock exchange for getting rid of undesirable securities. It struck me as probable that in the event of the invention turning out a reality, co-editors A's might become unsalable within the next few weeks or so. He eyed me sternly. Wentworth, he said, you're a fool. Except on occasions when he is very angry, my respected connection never calls me Wentworth. The familiar abbreviation C, derived from Seymour, is his usual mode of address to me in private. Is it likely I would unload and wreck the confidence of the public in the gladiator company at such a moment? As a director, as chairman, would it be just or right of me? I ask you, sir, could I reconcile it to my conscience? Charles, I answered, you are right. Your conduct is noble. You will not save your own personal interests at the expense of those who have put their trust in you. That probity is, alas, very rare in finance, and I sighed involuntarily, for I had lost in liberators. At the same time, I thought to myself, I am not a director, no trust is reposed in me, I have to think first of dear Isabel and the baby. Before the crash comes, I will sell out tomorrow the few shares I hold through Charles's kindness with his marvelous business instinct. Charles seemed to divine my thought, for he turned round to me sharply. Look here, see, he remarked in an assiduous tone, recollect, you are my brother-in-law, you are also my secretary. The eyes of London will be upon us tomorrow. If you were to sell out and operators got to know of it, they'd suspect there was something up and the company would suffer for it. Of course, you can do what you like with your own property, I can't interfere with that, I do not dictate to you, but as chairman of the Gokondas I am bound to see that the interests of widows and orphans whose all is invested with me should not suffer at this crisis. His words seemed to falter. Therefore, though I don't like to threaten, he went on, I am bound to give you warning. If you sell out those shares of yours, openly or secretly, you are no longer my secretary. You receive fourth-width, six-month salary in lieu of notice and you leave me instantly. Very well, Charles, I answered in a submissive voice, though I debated with myself for a moment whether it would be best to stick to the ready money and quit the sinking ship or to hold fast by my friend and back Charles's luck against the professor of science. After a short, sharp struggle within my own mind, I am proud to say friendship and gratitude won. I felt sure that, whether diamonds went up or down, Charles Van Drift was the sort of man who would come to the top in the end in spite of everything, and I decided to stand by him. I slept little that night, however, my mind was a whirlwind. At breakfast Charles also looked tired and moody. He ordered the carriage early and drove straight into the city. There was a block in Cheapside. Charles, impatient and nervous, jumped out and walked. I walked beside him. Near Wood Street, a man we knew casually stopped us. I think I ought to mention to you, he said confidentially, that I have it on the very best authority that Schleiermacher of Vienna Thank you, Charles said crustily. I know that tale and there's not a word of truth in it. He brushed on in haste. A yard or two farther, a broker paused in front of us. Hello, Sir Charles, he called out in a bantering tone. What's all this about diamonds? Where are Gallitidorps today? Is it Golcanda or Queer Street? Charles drew himself up very stiff. I failed to understand you, he answered with dignity. Why, you were there yourself, the man cried last night at Sir Adolphus's. Oh yes, it's all over the place. Schleiermacher of Vienna has succeeded in making the most perfect diamonds for six pence apiece, as good as real. And South Africa's ancient history. In less than six weeks, Kimberly, they say, will be a howling desert. Every costumonger in Whitechapel will wear genuine coinors for buttons on his coat. Every girl in Burmanse will sport a rivière like Lady Van Drift's to her favorite musical. There's a slump in Golcanda's. Sly, sly, I can see, but we know all about it. Charles moved on, disgusted. The man's manners were atrocious. Near the bank, we ran up against a most respectable jobber. Ah, Sir Charles, he said. You here? Oh, this is strange news, isn't it? For my part, I advise you not to take it too seriously. Your stock will go down, of course, like lead this morning, but it'll rise tomorrow, mark my words, and fluctuate every hour till the discovery is proved or disproved for certain. There's a fine time coming for operators, I feel sure. Reports this way and that. Rumors, rumors, rumors. And nobody will know which way to believe till Sir Lothis has tested it. We moved on towards the house. Black care was seated on Sir Charles' shoulders. As we drew nearer and nearer, everybody was discussing the one fact of the moment. The seal of secrecy had proved more potent than publication on the house stuffs. Some people told us of the exciting news in Confidential Whispers. Some proclaimed it to be a vulgar exaltation. The general opinion was that Clare's dorks were doomed and that the sooner a man cleared out, the less was he likely to lose by it. Charles strode on like a general, but it was a Napoleon brazening out his retreat from Moscow. His mean was resolute. He disappeared at last into the precincts of an office, waving me back not to follow. After a long consultation, he came out and rejoined me. All day long, the city rang with gulkandas, gulkandas. Everybody murmured, slump, slump in gulkandas. The brokers had more business to do than they could manage, though to be sure almost everyone was a seller and no one a buyer. But Charles stood firm as a rock and so did his brokers. I don't want to sell, the whole thing is trumped up. It's a mere piece of jugglery. For my own part, I believe Professor Schleiermacher is deceived or else is deceiving us. In another week, the bubble will have burst and prices will restore themselves. His brokers, Fingalmoors, had only one answer to all inquiries. Sir Charles has every confidence in the stability of gulkandas and doesn't wish to sell or increase the panic. All the world said he was splendid, splendid. There he stationed himself on change like some granite stack against which the waves roll and break themselves in vain. He took no notice of the slump but ostentatiously bought up a few shares here and there so as to restore public confidence. I would buy more, he said freely, and make my fortune only for those who happened to spend last night at sir Adolphus's. People might think I had helped to spread the rumor and produce the slump in order to buy in at panic rates for my own advantage. A chairman, like Caesar's wife, should be above suspicion. So I shall only buy up just enough now and again to let people see I, at least, have no doubt as to the firm future of Chloridors. He went home that night more last and ill than I have ever seen him. Next day was as banned. The slump continued with varying episodes. Now a rumor would surge up that Sir Adolphus had declared the whole affair a sham and prices would steady a little. Now another would break out that the diamonds were actually being put upon the market in Berlin by the cartload and timid old ladies would wire down to their brokers to realize offhand at whatever hazard. It was an awful day. I shall never forget it. The morning after, as if by miracle, things righted themselves of a sudden. While we were wondering what it meant, Charles received telegram from Sir Adolphus' quarters. The man is a fraud, not Schleiermacher at all. Just had a wire from Jena saying the professor knows nothing about him. Sorry, unintentionally, to have caused you trouble. Come round and see me. Sorry, unintentionally, to have caused you trouble. Charles was beside himself with anger. Sir Adolphus had upset the share market for forty-eight mortal hours. Half ruined a round dozen of wealthy operators, convulsed the city, upheaved the house, and now he apologized for it as one might apologize for being late ten minutes for dinner. Charles jumped into a handsome and rushed round to see him. How had he dared to introduce the imposter to solid men as Professor Schleiermacher? Sir Adolphus shrugged his shoulders. The fellow had come and introduced himself as the great Jena Temmest. He had long white hair and a stoop in the shoulders. What reason had he for doubting his word? I reflected to myself that on much the same ground Charles, in turn, had accepted the honorable David Granton and Graf von Liebenschein. Besides, what object could the creature have for this extraordinary deception? Charles knew only too well. It was clear it was done to disturb the diamond market, and we realized too late that the man who had done it was Colonel Clay in another of his manifold allotropic embodiments. Charles had had his wish. He had met his enemy once more in London. We could see the whole plot. Colonel Clay was polymorphic, like the element carbon. Doubtless with his extraordinary sleight of hand, he had substituted real diamonds for the shapeless mass that came out of the apparatus in the interval between handing the pebbles round for inspection and distributing them piecemeal to the men of science and the relatives of the diamond interest. We all watched him closely, of course, when he opened the crucibles, but when once we had satisfied ourselves that something came out, our doubts were set at rest and we forgot to watch whether he distributed those somethings or not to the recipients. Conjuvers always depend upon such momentary distractions or lapses of attention. As usual, too, the professor had disappeared into space the minute his trick was once well performed. He vanished like smoke, as the Count and Sear had vanished before, and was never again heard of. Charles went home more angry than I had ever beheld him. I couldn't imagine why. He seemed as deeply hipped as if he had lost his thousands. I endeavored to console him. After all, I said, though Gaul Condons have suffered a temporary loss, it's a comfort to think you should have stood so firm and not only stemmed the tide, but also prevented yourself from losing anything at all of your own through panic. I'm sorry, of course, for the widows and orphans, but if Colonel Clay has rigged the markets, at least it isn't you who lose by it this time. Charles withered me with a fierce scowl of undisguised contempt. Wentworth, he said once more, you are a fool. Then he collapsed into silence. But you declined to sell out, I said. He gazed at me fixably. Is it likely, he asked at last, I would tell you if I meant to sell out, or that I'd sell out openly through Fingalmore, my usual broker? Why, all the world would have known and Gaul Condons would have been finished. As it is, I don't desire to tell an ass like you exactly how much I've lost. But I did sell out and some unknown operator bought in at once and closed for ready money and has sold again this morning. And after all that has happened it will be impossible to track him. He didn't wait for the account. He settled up instantly. He sold in the like manner. I know now what has been done and how cleverly it has all been disguised and covered. But the most I'm going to tell you today is just this. It's by far the biggest haul Colonel Clay has made out of me. He could retire on it if he liked. My one hope is it may satisfy him for life but then no man has ever had enough of making money. You sold out, I explained. You, the chairman of the company. You deserted the ship. And how about your trust? How about the widows and orphans confided to you? Charles rose and faced me. See more Wentworth, he said in his most solemn voice. You have lived with me for years and had every advantage. You have seen high finance. Yet you ask me that question. It's my belief you will never, never understand business. End of Chapter 6 An African millionaire. The episode of the arrest of the Colonel. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org Chapter 7 How much precisely Charles dropped over the slump in Clotidorps that never quite knew. But the incident left him dejected, and he spirited. Hang it all say, he said to me in the smoking room a few evenings later, Colonel Clay is enough to vex the patients of Job. And Job had large losses too if I recollect all right from the Chaldeans and other big operators of the period. Three thousand camels, I murmured, recalling my dear mother's lessons. All at one fell swoop. Not to mention 500 York of Oxen carried off by the Sabines, then a leading firm of speculative cattle dealers. Ah well, Charles mediated aloud, shaken the ash from his cheeroot into a Japanese tray, fine antique bronzework. There were big transactions in livestock even then. Still, Job or no Job, the man is too much for me. The difficulty is, I scented. You never know where to have him. Yes, Charles mused. If he were always the same like Hornyman's tea or a good brand of whiskey, it would be easier, of course. You'd stand some chance of spotting him. But when a man turns up smiling every time in a different disguise which fits him like a skin, and always apparently with the best credentials, why hang it all say, there's no wrestling with him anyhow. Who could have come to us, for example, better vouched, I acquiesced, than the Honorable David? Exactly so, Charles murmured. I invited him myself for my own advantage, and he arrived with all the prestige of the Glen Elegy connection. Or the Professor, I went on, introduced to us by the leading mineralogist of England. I touched a sore point. Charles winced and remained silent. Then, women again, he resumed after a painful pause. I must meet in society many charming women. I can't everywhere and always be on my guard against every dear soul of them. Yet the moment I relax my attention for one day, or even when I don't relax it. I am bamboozled and led to dance by that arch, Madame Picardette, or that transparently simple little minx, Mrs. Granton. She's a cleverest girl I ever met in my life that Hussey would ever work call her. She's a different person each time, and each time hang it all, I lose my heart afresh with a different person. I glanced round to make sure Amelia was well out of earshot. No say my respected connection went on after another long pause, sipping his coffee pensively. I feel I must be aided in this superhuman task by a professional unraveler for cunning disguises. I shall go to Marvalier's tomorrow, fortunate man Marvalier, and ask him to supply me really good tech who will stop in the house and keep an eye on every living soul that comes near me. He shall scan every nose, each eye, each wig, each whisker. He shall be my watchful half, my unsleeping self. It shall be his business to suspect all living men, all breathing women. The archbishop of Canterbury shall now escape for a moment to guard. He will take care that royal princesses don't color the spoons or walk off with the jewel cases. He must see possible Colonel Clay's in the guard of every train and the parson of every parish. He must detect the off chance of a madam Picardette in every young girl that takes tea with Amelia, every fat old lady that comes to call upon Isabelle. Yes, I have made my mind up. She shall go to-morrow and secure such a man at once at Marvelliers. If you please, Sir Charles says read in her post, pushing her head through the portier. Her ladyship says will you and Mr. Wentworth remember that she goes out with you both this evening to Lady Carey's Brooks? Bless my soul, Charles cried, so she does. And now it's past ten. The carriage will be at the door across and in another five minutes. Next morning, accordingly, Charles drove round to Marvelliers. The famous detective listened to his story with glistening eyes. Then he rubbed his hands and purred. Colonel Clay, he said, Colonel Clay, that's a very tough customer. The police of Europe are on the lookout for Colonel Clay. He's wanted in London, in Paris, in Berlin. Lay Colonel Coutreauq here, lay Colonel Coutreauq there, till one begins to ask, at last, is there any Colonel Coutreauq or is it a convenient class name invented by the force to cover a gang of undiscovered charbers? However, Sir Charles, we will do our best. I will set on the track without delay the best and cleverest detective in England. The very man I want, Charles said, what name, Marvellier? The principal smiled. Whatever name you like. He said, he isn't particular. Methurst, he's called at home. We call him Joe. Send him round to your house this afternoon for certain. Oh, no, Charles said promptly, you won't, or Colonel Clay himself will come instead of him. I've been sold too often. No casual strangers. I'll wait here and see him. But he isn't in, Marvellier objected. Charles was as firm as a rock. Then send and fetch him. In half an hour, sure enough, the detective arrived. He was an odd-looking small man with his hair cut short and standing straight up all over his head like a Parisian waiter. He had quick sharp eyes very much like a ferret. His nose was depressed, and bloodless. A scar marked his left cheek made by a sword cut, he said. When engaged one day and arresting a disparate French smuggler disguised as an officer of Tassia's Day of Freak, his mien was resolute. All together, acquainted or a cutter little man, it has never been yet my lot to set eyes on. He walked in with a brisk step, eye Charles up and down, much formality asked for what he wanted. This is Sir Charles Van Drift, the great Diamond King, Marvellier said, introducing us. So I see, the man answered. Then you know me? Charles asked. I wouldn't be worth much, the detective replied. If I didn't know everybody, and you're easy enough to know why every boy in the street knows you. Plain spoken, Charles remarked. As you like it, sir, the man answered in a respectful tone. I endeavored to see my dress and behavior on every occasion to the taste of my employers. Your name? Charles asked, smiling. Does it matter at your service? What sort of work? Stolen diamonds? Alicid diamond buying? No, Charles answered, fixing him with his eye. Quite another kind of job. You've heard of Colonel Clay? Met her snotted. Why, certainly, he said, and for the first time had detected a lingering trace of American accent. It's my business to know about him. Well, I want you to catch him, Charles went on. Met her strewn long breath. Isn't that rather a large order? He murmured surprised. Charles explained to him exactly the sort of services he required. Met her's promise to comply. If the man comes near you, I'll spot him, he said, after a moment's pause. I can promise you that much. I'll pierce any disguise. I should know in a minute whether he's got up or not. I'm dead on wigs. False mustaches. Artificial complexions. I'll engage to bring the rogue to book if I see him. You may set your mind at rest. That, while I'm about you, Colonel Clay, can do nothing without my instantly spotting him. He'll do it, Marvillier put in. He'll do it if he says it. He's my very best hand. Never knew any man like him for unraveling and amassing the cleverest disguises. Then he'll suit me, Charles answered. For I never knew any man like Colonel Clay for assuming and maintaining them. It was arranged accordingly that Met her's should take up his residence in the house for the present and should be described to the servants as Assistant Secretary. He came that very day with the marvelously small portamene. But from the moment he arrived we noticed that Césarine took a violent dislike to him. Met her's was a most efficient detective. Charles and I told him all we knew about the various shapes in which Colonel Clay had materialized and he gave us in turn many valuable criticisms and suggestions. Why, when we began to suspect the Honorable David Granton had we not, as if by accident tried to knock his red wig off? Why, when the Reverend Richard Peplot Brabazon first discussed the question of the pace diamonds had we not looked to see if any of Amelia's unique gems were missing? Why, when Professor Schleyermacher made his bow to assembled science at Lancaster Gate had we not strictly inquired how far he was personally known beforehand to Sir Adolphus Quartery and the other mineralogists? He supplied us also with several good hints about false hair and makeup such as that Schleyermacher was probably much shorter than he looked. But by imitating a stoop with padding at his back he had produced the illusion of a tall bent man. Though in reality no bigger than the little curator the graph von Liebenstein. High heels to the rest while the scientific keenness we noted in his face was doubtless brought about by a trifle of wax at the end of the nose giving a peculiar tilt that is extremely effective. In short a must frankly admit methurst made us feel ashamed of ourselves. Sharp as Charles's we realized at once he was nowhere in observation beside the trained and experienced senses of this professional detective. The worst of it all was while methurst was with us by some curious fatality Colonel Clay stopped away from us now and again to be sure we ran up against somebody whom methurst suspected but after a short investigation conducted I may say with admirable cleverness I always showed us the doubtful person was really some innocent and well-known character whose antecedents and surroundings he elucidated most wonderfully. He was a perfect marvel too in his faculty of suspicion he suspected everybody. If an old friend dropped in to talk business with Charles we found out afterwards that methurst had lain concealed all the time behind the curtain and had taken shorthand notes of the whole conversation as well as snapshot photographs of the supposed sharper by means of a Kodak. If a fat old lady came to call upon Amelia methurst was sure to be lurking under the ottoman in the drawing room and carefully observing with all his eyes whether or not she was really Madame Picardette padded when Lady Trusco brought her four plain daughters at home one night methurst an evening dress disguised as a waiter followed them each round the room with obtrusive ices to satisfy himself and just how much of their complexion was real and how much was patent rouge and bloom of Ninon. He doubted whether Simpson Sir Charles's valet was not Colonel Clay in plain clothes and he had half an idea that Caesarean herself was our saucy white heather and an alternative avatar. We pointed out to him in vain that Simpson had often been present in the very same room with David Granton and that Caesarean had dressed Mrs. Brabazon's hair to Lucerne this partially satisfied him but only partially. He remarked that Simpson might double both parts with somebody else unknown and that as for Caesarean she might as well have a twin sister who took her place when she was Madame Picardette. Still in spite of all his care or because of all his care Colonel Clay stopped away for whole weeks together. An explanation occurred to us. Was it possible he knew we were guarded and watched? Was he afraid of measuring swords with this train detective? If so how had he found it out? I had an inkling myself but under all the circumstances I did not mention it to Charles. It was clear that Caesarean intensely disliked this new addition to the Van Drift household. She would not stop in the room where the detective was or show him common politeness. She spoke of him always as that odys man methurst. Could she have guessed what none of the other servants knew? That the man was a spy in the search of the Colonel? I was inclined to believe it. And then it dawned upon me that Caesarean had known all about the diamonds in their story. That it was Caesarean who took us to see Schloss Leibnstein. That it was Caesarean who posted the letter to Lord Craig Elechy. If Caesarean was in league with Colonel Clay as I was half inclined to surmise what more natural than her obvious dislike to the detective who was there to catch her principal? What more simple for her than to warn her fellow conspirator about the danger that awaited him if he approached this man methurst? However I was much too frightened by the episode of the cheque to say anything of my nascent suspicions to Charles. I waited, rather, to see how events would shape themselves. After a while methurst's vigilance grew positively annoying. More than once he came to Charles with reports and shorthand notes uniquely distasteful to my excellent brother-in-law. The fellow was getting to know too much about us, Charles said to me one day why say he spies out everything? Would you believe it? When I had that confidential interview with Brookfield the other day about the new issue of gold condos the man was under the easy chair though I searched the room beforehand to make sure he wasn't there and he came to me afterwards with the full notes of the conversation to assure me that he thought Brookfield whom I've known for ten years was too tall by half an inch to be one of Colonel Clay's impersonations. Oh but Sir Charles methurst cried emerging suddenly from the bookcase. You must never look upon anyone as above suspicion merely because you've known him for ten years or thereabouts. Colonel Clay may have approached him at various times under many disguises. He may have built up this thing gradually besides as to my knowing too much why of course the detective always learns many things about his employer's family which he is not supposed to know but professional honor and professional etiquette as with doctors and lawyers compel him to lock them up as absolute secrets in his own bosom. You need never be afraid I will divulge one jot of them. If I did I would have gone and my reputation shattered. Charles looked at him appalled do you dare to say he burst out you've been listening to my talk with my brother-in-law and secretary why of course methurst answered it's my business to listen and to suspect everybody if you push me to say so how do I know Colonel Clay is not Mr. Wentworth Charles withered him with a look in future methurst he said you must never conceal yourself in a room where I am without my leave and knowledge methurst bowed politely oh as you will sir Charles he answered that's quite at your own wish though how can I act as an efficient detective anyway if you insist upon tying my hands like that beforehand again I detected a faint American flavor after that this rebuff however methurst seemed to put upon his metal he redoubled his vigilance in every direction it's not my fault he said plaintively one day if my reputation so good that while I'm near you this will go on to approach you if I can't catch him at least I can keep him away from coming near you a few days later however he brought Charles some photographs he produced with evidence pride the first he showed us was a vignette of a little parson who's that then he inquired much pleased we gaze at it open-eyed one word rose to our lips simultaneously brab so on and how's this for hi he asked again producing another the photograph of a gay young dog in a tie release costume we murmured van Liebenstein and this he continued showing us the portrait of our lady with the most fetching squint we answered with one voice little mrs. Granton methurst was naturally proud of this excellent exploit he replaced them in his pocket book with an air of just triumph how did you get them Charles asked methurst's look was mysterious sir Charles he answered drawing himself up I must ask you to trust me a while in this matter remember remember there are people whom he declined to suspect I have learned that it is always those very people who are most dangerous to capitalists if I were to give you the names now you would refuse to believe me therefore I hold them over discreetly for the moment one thing however I say I know to certainty where Cornel Clay is at this present speaking but I will lay my plans deep and I hope before long to secure him you shall be present when I do so and I shall make him confess his personality openly more than that you cannot reasonably ask I shall leave it to you then whether or not you wish to arrest him Charles was considerably puzzled not to say peaked by this curious reticence he begged hard for names but methurst was adamant no no he replied we detectives have our own just pride in our profession if I told you now you would probably spoil all by some premature action you are too open and impulsive I will mention this alone Cornel Clay will be shortly in Paris and before long will begin from that city a fresh attempt at defrauding you which he is now hatching mark my words and see whether or not I have been kept well informed of the fellow's movements he was perfectly correct two days later as it turned out Charles received a confidential letter from Paris purporting to come from the head of a second rate financial house with which he had dealings over the craig elegy amalgamation by this time I had to have said an accomplished union it was a letter of small importance in itself a mere matter of detail but it paved the way so methurst thought to some later development of more serious character here once more the man's singular foresight was justified for another week we received a second communication containing other proposals of a delicate financial character which would have involved the transference of of some 2000 pounds to the head of the Parisian firm and an address given both of these letters matters cleverly compared with those written to Charles before in the names of Colonel Clay and of Graf von Liebenstein at first it is true the differences between the two seemed quite enormous the Paris hand was broad and black large and bold while the earlier manuscript was small, neat, thin and gentlemanly still when methurst pointed out to us certain persistent twists in the formation of his capitals and certain curious peculiarities in the relative length of his T's his L's, his B's and his A's we could see for ourselves he was right both were the work of one hand writing in the one case with a sharp pointed nib, very small and then the other with a quill very large and freely this discovery was most important we stood now within measurable distance of catching Colonel Clay and bringing forgery and fraud home to him without hope of evasion to make all sure however matters communicated with the Paris police and showed us their answers meanwhile Charles continued to write to the head of the firm who had given a private address in the Rue Jean Jack to say a most clever reason why the negotiations at the stage should be confidentially conducted but one never expected from Colonel Clay anything less than consummate cleverness in the end it was arranged that we three were to go over to Paris together then methurst was to undertake under the guise of being Sir Charles to pay the two thousand pounds to the pretended financier and that Charles and I waiting with the police outside the door should at a given signal rush in with our forces and secure the criminal we went over accordingly and spent the night at the Grand as is Charles custom the Bristol which I prefer he finds too quiet early next morning we took a fieger and drove to the Rue Jean Jack methurst had arranged everything in advance with the Paris police three of whom in plain clothes were waiting at the foot of the staircase to assist us Charles had further provided himself with two thousand pounds in the notes of the Bank of France in order that the payment might be duly made and no doubt to rise as to the crime having been perpetrated as well as meditated in the former case the penalty would be fifteen years and the latter three only he was in very high spirits the fact that we attract the rascal to earth at last and were within an hour of apprehending him was in itself enough to raise his courage greatly we found as we expected that the number given in the Rue Jean Jack was that of a hotel not a private residence methurst went in first and inquired of the landlord whether our ban was at home at the same time at the same time informing him of the nature of our errand and giving him to understand that if we affected the capture by his friendly aid Sir Charles would see that the expenses incurred on the swindler's bill were met in full as the price of his assistance the landlord bowed he expressed his deep regret as M. de Conel was a most amiable person much liked by the household but just as of course must have its way but as of a gruntful sigh he undertook to assist us the police remained below but Charles and methurst were each provided with a pair of handcuffs remembering the Paul Perot case however we determined to use them with the greatest caution we would only put them on in case of violent resistance we crept up to the door with the misscreen to his house Charles handed the notes in an open envelope to methurst him hastily and held them in his hands in readiness for action we had a sign concerted whenever he sneezed which he could do in the most natural manner we were to open the door Russian and secure the criminal he was gone for some minutes Charles and I waited outside and breathless expectation then methurst sneezed we flung the door open at once and burst in upon the creature methurst rose as we did so he pointed with his finger this is Colonel Clay he said keep him well in charge while I go down to the door for the police to arrest him a gentlemanly man about middle height with a grizzled beard and a well assumed military aspect rose at the same moment the envelope in which Charles had placed the notes lay on the table before him he clutched it nervously I am at a loss gentlemen he said in an excited voice to account for this interruption he spoke with a tremor yet with all the politeness to which we were accustomed in the little curate and the honorable David no nonsense Charles exclaimed in his authoritative way we know who you are we have found you at this time you are Colonel Clay if you attempt to resist take care I will handcuff you the military gentleman gave a start yes I am Colonel Clay he answered don't arrest me Charles was bursting with wrath the fellow's coolness never seemed to desert him you are Colonel Clay he muttered you have the unspeakable infantry to stand there and admit it certainly the Colonel answered growing hot in turn I have done nothing to be ashamed of what do you mean by this conduct how dare you talk of arresting me Charles laid his hand on the man's shoulder come come my friend he said if bluff won't go down with us you know very well I won't charge or arrest you and here are the police to give effect to it he called out entrance the police entered the room Charles explained as well as he could in most daffodile Parisian what they were next to do the Colonel drew himself up in an indignant attitude he turned and addressed them in excellent French I am an officer in the service of a Britannic Majesty he said he entered to interfere with me messios the chief policemen explained the Colonel turned to Charles your name sir he inquired he knew it very well Charles answered I am Sir Charles Van Drift and in spite of your clever disguise I can instantly recognize you I know your eyes and ears I can see the same man who cheated me at Nice and who insulted me on the island you Sir Charles Van Drift he cried no no sir you are a mad man he looked around at the police take care of what you do he cried this is a raving maniac I have business just now with Sir Charles Van Drift who quitted the room as these gentlemen entered this person is mad and you Masiya I doubt not bowing to me you are of course his keeper do not let him deceive you I cried to the police beginning to fear that with his usual incredible cleverness the fellow would even now manage to slip through our fingers arrest him as you are told we will take responsibility though I trembled when I thought of that chequie held of mine the chief of our three policemen came forward in the latest hand on the culprit's shoulder I advise you he said in an official voice to come with us quietly for the present we can enter at length into all these questions the colonel very indignant still enacting the part marvelously yielded and went along with him where's Medhurst Charles inquired glancing round as we reached the door I wish he had stopped with us you are looking for Masiya your friend the landlord inquired with a side bow to the colonel he has gone away in a fieker he asked me to give this note to you he handed us a twisted note Charles opened and read it invaluable man he cried just hear what he says say having secured colonel clay I am off now again on the track of Madame Picardette she was lodging in the same house she is just driven away I know to what place and I am after her to arrest her in blind haste, Medhurst that smartness if you like though poor little woman I think he might have left her does the Madame Picardette stop here I inquired of the landlord thinking it possible she might have assumed again the same old alias he nodded ascent we we we he answered she is just driven off and Masiya your friend has gone posting after her splendid man Charles cried Marvellia was quite right he is the prince of detectives we hailed a couple of fiekers and drove off to the court there colonel clay continued to brazen it out and asserted that he was an officer in the Indian army home on six months leave and spending some weeks in Paris he even declared that he was known at the embassy where he had a cousin an attach and he asked that this gentleman should be sent for at once from her ambassadors to identify him the judein succion must be done and Charles waited in very bad humor for the foolish formality it really seemed as if after all when we had actually caught an arrest on our man he was going by some cunning device to escape us after a delay of more than an hour during which colonel clay fretted and fumed quite as much as we did the attach arrived to a horror and astonishment he proceeded to salute the prisoner most affectionately hello ah algae he cried or grasping his hands what's up what do these ruffians want with you it began to dawn upon us then what matters that meant by suspecting everybody the real colonel clay was no common adventurer but the gentleman of birth and high connections the colonel glared at us this fellow declares you sir Charles van drift he said so clearly though in fact there are two of them and he accuses me of forgery fraud and theft birdie the attach stared hard at us this is sir Charles van drift he replied after a moment I remember hearing him make a speech once at a city dinner and what charge have you to pervert sir Charles against my cousin your cousin Charles cried this is colonel clay the notorious sharper the attach smiled a gentlemanly smile this is colonel clay he answered of the bangle staff corpse it began to strike us there was something wrong somewhere but he has cheated me all the same Charles said at knees two years ago and many times since in this very day he has tricked me out of two thousand pounds on french bank notes which is now about him the colonel was speechless but the attach laughed what he has done today I do not know he said but if it's apple cripple is what you say he did two years ago you've a thundering bad case sir for he was then in India and I was out there visiting him where are the two thousand pounds Charles cried why you've got them in your hand you're holding the envelope the colonel produced it this envelope he said was left with me by the man with short stiff hair who came just before you and who announced himself as sir Charles Van Drift he said he was interested in tea and a song and he wanted me to join the board of directors of some bogus company these are his papers I believe and he handed them to his cousin well I'm glad the notes are safe anyhow Charles murmured an aton of relief beginning to smell a rat will you kindly return them to me the attach turned out the contents of the envelope they proved to be prospectus of bubble companies of the moment of no importance Medhurst must have put them there I cried and he camped with the cash Charles gave a groan of horror and Medhurst is Colonel Clay he exclaimed clapping his hand to his forehead I beg your pardon sir the colonel interposed I have but one personality and no aliases it took quite half an hour to explain this in brocleo but as soon as all was explained in French and English to the satisfaction of ourselves and the Judea Instruction the real colonel shook hands with us in a most forgiving way and informed us that he had more than once wondered when he gave his name at shops in Paris why it was often received with such grave suspicion we instructed the police that the true culprit was Medhurst whom they had seen with their own eyes and whom we urged them to pursue with all expedition meanwhile Charles and I accompanied by the colonel and the attach to see the fun out as they said called at the bank of France for the purpose of stopping the notes immediately it was too late however they had been presented at once and cast in gold by a pleasant little lady in an American costume who was afterwards identified by the hotel as his lodger from our description as his lodger Madame Picardette it was clear she had taken rooms in the same hotel to be near the Indian colonel and it was she who had received and sent the letters as for our foe he had vanished into space as always two days later we received the usual insulting communication on a sheet of Charles own dainty note last time he wrote it it was on the Craig Elegy paper this time like the wanton lap wing he had got himself another crest most perspicacious of millionaires said I not well as Methurst that you must never distrust anybody and the one man you never dreamt of distrusting was Methurst yet see how truthful I was I told you I knew where Colonel Clay was living exactly I promised to take you to Colonel Clay's rooms and to get him arrested for you and I kept my promise I even exceeded your expectations for I gave you two Colonel Clay's instead of one and you took the wrong man but as to say the real one this was a neat trick but it cost me some trouble first I found out there was a real Colonel Clay in the Indian army I also found out he chance to be coming home on leave this season I might have made more out of him no doubt but I disliked annoying him and preferred to give myself the fun of this peculiar mystification I therefore waited for him to reach Paris where the police arrangements suited me better than in London while I was looking about and delaying operations for his return I happened here you wanted a detective so I offered myself out of work to my old employer from whom I have had many good jobs in the past and there you get in short the Colonel of the Colonel naturally after this I could never go back as a detective to Marvelliers but on the large scale on which I have learned to work since I first had the pleasure of making your delightful acquaintance this matters little to say the truth I begin to feel a detective work a cut or two below me I am now a gentleman of means and leisure besides the extra knowledge of your movements which I have acquired in your house is helped still further to give me various holds upon you so the flick will be true to his own pet lamb to vary the metaphor you are not fully shorn yet remember me most kindly to your family give one twerp my love until Mademoiselle Césarine I owe her a grudge which I shall never forget she clearly suspected me you are much too rich dear Charles I relieve your plethora I bleed you financially therefore I consider myself your sincerest friend Clay Brabazon Methurst fellow of the Royal College of Surgeons Charles was threatened with apoplexy this blow was severe whom can I trust he asked plaintively when the detectives themselves whom I employed to guard me turn out to be swindlers don't you remember that line in the Latin Grammar something about who shall watch the watchers I think it used to run quies costodes costodi et ipsos but I felt this episode had at least disproved my suspicions of poor Césarine end of chapter 7 recorded by Mike Ferry 252 chapter 8 of an African millionaire episodes in the life of the illustrious Colonel Clay this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org an African millionaire episodes in the life of the illustrious Colonel Clay by Grant Allen chapter 8 the episode of the Selden Goldmine on our return to London Charles and Marvilia had a difference of opinion on the subject of Methurst Charles maintained that Marvilia ought to have known the man with the cropped hair was Colonel Clay and ought never to have recommended him Marvilia maintained that Charles had seen Colonel Clay half a dozen times at least to his own never and that my respected brother-in-law had therefore nobody on earth but himself to blame if the rogue imposed upon him the head detective had known Methurst for ten years he said as a most respectable man and even a rate payer he had always found him the cleverest of spies as well he might be indeed on the familiar set a thief to catch a thief principle however the upshot of it all was as usual nothing Marvilia was sorry to lose the services of so excellent a hand but he had done the very best he could for Sir Charles he declared and if Sir Charles was not satisfied why he might catch his Colonel Clay for himself in future so I will see Charles remarked to me as we walked back from the office in the Strand by Piccadilly I won't trust any more to these private detectives it's my belief there are pack of thieves themselves in league with the rascals they're set to catch and with no more sense of honour than a Zulu diamond hand better try the police, I suggested by way of being helpful one must assume an interest in one's employer's business but Charles shook his head oh no he said I'm sick of all these fellows I shall trust in future to my own sagacity we learn by experience to learn the thing or two one of them is this it's not enough to suspect everybody you must have no preconceptions divest yourself entirely of every fixed idea if you wish to cope with a rascal of this calibre don't jump at conclusions we should disbelieve everything as well as distrust everybody that's the road to success and I mean to pursue it so by way of pursuing it Charles retired to seldom the longer the man goes on the worse he grows he said to me one morning he's just like a tiger that has tasted blood every successful haul seems only to make him more eager for another I fully expect now before long we shall see him down here about three weeks later sure enough my respected connection from the abandoned swindler with an Austrian stamp and a Vienna postmark my dear van drift after so long and varied an acquaintance we may surely drop the absurd formalities of Sir Charles and Colonel I write to ask you a delicate question can you kindly tell me exactly how much I have received from your various generous acts during the last three years I have mislaid my account book and as this is the season for making the income tax return I'm anxious as an honest and conscientious citizen to set down my average profits out of you for the triennial period for reasons which you will amply understand I do not this time give my private address in Paris or elsewhere but if you'll kindly advertise the total amount above the signature Peter Simple in the agony column of the times you'll confer a great favour upon the revenue commissioners and also upon your constant friend and companion Cuthbert Clay practical socialist mark my word see Charles said laying the letter down in a week or less the man himself will follow this is his cunning way of trying to make me think he's well out of the country and far away from Seldon that means he's meditating another descent but he told us too much last time when he was medhurst the detective he gave us some hints about disguises and their unmasking that I shall not forget this turn I shall be even with him on Saturday of that week in effect we were walking along the road that leads into the village when we met a gentlemanly looking man in a rough and rather happy go lucky brown tweed suit who had the air of a tourist he was middle aged and of middle height he wore a small leather wallet suspended round his shoulder and he was peering about at the rocks in a vicious manner something in his gate attracted our attention good morning looking up as we passed and Charles muttered us somewhat surly inarticulate good morning we went on without saying more well that's not Colonel Clay anyhow I said as we got out of earshot for he accosted us first and you may remember his most marked peculiarities that like the model child he never speaks till he's spoken to never begins an acquaintance he always waits till we make the first advance he doesn't go out of his way to cheat us he loiters about till we ask him to do it Seymour, my brother in law responded in a severe tone there you are now doing the very thing I warned you not to do you're succumbing to a preconception avoid fixed ideas the probability is this man is Colonel Clay strangers are generally scarce at Seldon if he isn't Colonel Clay what's he here for I'd like to know what money is there to be made here in any other way I shall inquire about him we dropped in at the chromity arms and asked good Mrs Mulachlan if she could tell us anything about the gentlemanly stranger Mrs Mulachlan replied that he was from London she believed a pleasant gentleman enough and he had his wife with him young, pretty, Charles inquired with a speaking glance at me well Sir Charles she'll know be exactly what you'd be calling a bonnie lass Mrs Mulachlan replied but she's a good body for all that and a fine braw woman just what I should expect Charles murmured he varies the programme the fellow has tried white heather and as Madame Picardet and a squinting little Mrs Granton and has met her circumplest and now he has almost exhausted the possibilities of a disguise for a really young and pretty woman so he's playing her off at last as the Riper product a handsome matron clever, extremely clever but we begin to see through him and he chuckled to himself quietly next day on the hillside we came upon our stranger again occupied as before in peering into the rocks and sounding them with a hammer Charles nudged me and whispered I have it this time he's posing as a geologist I took a good look at the man by now of course we had some experience of Colonel Clay in his various disguises and I could observe that while the nose the hair and the beard were varied the eyes and the build remained the same as ever he was a trifle stouter of course being got up as a man of between 40 and 50 and his forehead was lined in a way which a less consummate artist than Colonel Clay could easily have imitated but I felt we had at least some grounds for our identification it would not do to dismiss the suggestion of clay hood at once as a flight of fancy his wife was sitting near upon a bare boss of rock having a volume of poems capital variant that a volume of poems exactly suited the selected type of a cultivated family White Heather and Mrs. Granton never used to read poems but that was characteristic of all Colonel Clay's impersonations and Mrs. Clay's too for I suppose I must call her so they were not mere outer disguises they were finished pieces of dramatic study those two people as a matter and actress as well as a pair of rogues and in both their roles they were simply inimitable as a rule Charles is by no means polite to casual trespasses on the seldom estate they get short shrift and a summary ejection but on this occasion he had a reason for being courteous and he approached the lady with a bow of recognition lovely day he said isn't it such belts on the sea and the heather smells sweet you are stopping at the inn I fancy yes the lady answered looking up at him with a charming smile I know that smile Charles whispered to me I have succumbed to it too often we're stopping at the inn and my husband is doing a little geology on the hill here I hope Sir Charles van Drift won't come and catch us he's so down upon trespasses they tell us at the inn he's a regular tartar he minks as ever Charles murmured to me she said it on purpose no my dear madam he continued to loud you have been quite misinformed I am Sir Charles van Drift and I am not a tartar if your husband is a man of science I respect and admire him it is geology that has made me what I am today and he drew himself up proudly we owe to it the present development of South African mining the lady blushed as one seldom sees a mature woman blush but exactly as I had seen Madame Picardet and White Heather oh I'm so sorry she said in a confused way that recalled Mrs. Granton forgive my hasty speech I didn't know you she did Charles whispered but let that pass oh don't think of it again so many people disturb the birds don't you know that were obliged in self-defense to warn trespasses sometimes off our lovely mountains but I do it with regret with profound regret I admire the beauties of nature myself and therefore I desire that all others should have the freest possible access to them possible that is to say consistently with the superior claims of property I see the lady replied looking up at him quaintly I admire your wish though not your reservation I've just been reading those sweet lines of Wordsworths and oh ye fountains meadows, hills, and groves forbode not any severing of our loves I suppose you know and she beamed on him pleasantly know them? Charles answered know them? oh of course I know them they're all favourites of mine in fact I adore Wordsworths I doubt whether Charles has ever in his life read a line of poetry except dos chidados in the sporting times he took the book and glanced at them ah charming charming he said in his most ecstatic tone but his eyes were on the lady and not on the poet I saw in a moment how things stood no matter under what disguise that woman appeared to him and whether he recognised her or not Charles couldn't help falling a victim to Madame Picardet's attractions here he actually suspected her yet like a moth round a candle he was trying his hardest to get his wings singed I almost despised him with his gigantic intellect the greatest men are the greatest fools I veryly believe when there's a woman in question the husband strolled up by this time and entered into conversation with us according to his own account his name was Forbes Gaskell and he was a professor of geology in one of those new fangled northern colleges he had come to seldom rock spying he said and found much to interest him he was fond of fossils but his special hobby was rocks and minerals he knew a vast deal about cairngorms and agates and such like pretty things and showed Charles quartz and felspar and red cornelian and I don't know what else in the crags on the hillside Charles pretended to listen to him with the deepest interest and respect never for a moment letting him guess he knew for what purpose this show of knowledge had been recently acquired if we were ever to catch the man we must not allow him to see we suspected him so Charles played a dark game he swallowed the geologist whole without question most of that morning we spent with them on the hillside Charles took them everywhere and showed them everything he seemed to be polite to the scientific man and he was really polite most polite to the poetical lady before lunchtime we had become quite friends the clays were always easy people to get on with and bar their roguery we could not deny they were delightful companions Charles asked them into lunch they accepted willingly he introduced them to Amelia with sundry raisings of his eyebrows and contortions of his mouth the professor and Mrs. Forbes Gaskell he said half dislocating his jaw with his violent efforts they're stopping at the inn, dear I've been showing them over the place and they're good enough to say they'll drop in and take a share in our cold roast mutton which was a frequent form of Charles's pleasantry Amelia sent them upstairs to wash their hands which in the professor's case was certainly desirable for his fingers were grime with earth and dust the rocks he had been investigating as soon as we were left alone Charles drew me into the library Seymour, he said more than ever there is a need for us strictly to avoid preconceptions we must not make up our minds that this man is Colonel Clay nor again that he isn't we must remember that we have been mistaken in both ways in the past and must avoid our old errors I shall hold myself in readiness for either event and a policeman in readiness to arrest them if necessary a capital plan I murmured still, if I may venture a suggestion in what way are these two people endeavouring to entrap us they have no scheme on hand no schloss, no amalgamation Seymour, my brother in law answered in his boardroom style who are a great deal too previous as Medhurst used to say I mean, Colonel Clay in his character is Medhurst in the first place, these are early days our friends have not yet developed their intentions we may find before long they have a property to sell or a company to promote or a concession to exploit in South Africa or elsewhere then again, in the second place we don't always spot the exact nature of their plan until it has burst in our hands so to speak and revealed its true character what could have seemed more transparent than Medhurst the detective till he ran away with our notes in the very moment of triumph what more innocent than White Heather and the little curate till they landed us with a couple of Amelie's own gems as a splendid bargain I will not take it for granted any man is not Colonel Clay merely because I don't happen to spot the particular scheme he is trying to work against me the rogue has so many schemes and some of them so well concealed that up to the moment by the actual explosion you fail to detect the presence of moral dynamite therefore I shall proceed as if there were dynamite everywhere but in the third place and this is very important you mark my words I believe I detect already the lines he will work upon he is a geologist he says with a taste for minerals very good you see if he doesn't try to persuade me before long he has found a coal mine whose locality he will disclose for a trifling consideration or else he will salt the long mountain with emeralds and claim a big share for helping to discover them or else he will try something in the mineralogical line to do me somehow I see it in the very transparency of the fellow's face and I am determined this time neither to pay him one farthing on any pretext nor to let him escape me we went in to lunch the professor and Mrs. Forbes Gaskell all smiled to company us I don't know whether it was Charles's warning to take nothing for granted that made me do so but I kept a close eye upon the suspected man all the time we were at table it struck me there was something very odd about his hair it didn't seem quite the same colour all over the locks that hung down behind over the collar of his coat were a trifle lighter and a trifle greyer mass that covered the greater part of his head I examined it carefully the more I did so the more the conviction grew upon me he was wearing a wig there was no denying it a trifle less artistic perhaps than most of Colonel Clay's get-ups but then I reflected on Charles's principle of taking nothing for granted we had never before suspected Colonel Clay himself except in the one case of the honourable David whose red hair and whiskers even Madame Picardet had admitted to be absurdly false by her action of pointing at them and tittering irrepressibly it was possible that in every case if we had scrutinised our man closely we should have found that the disguise betrayed itself at once as Medhurst had suggested to an acute observer the detective in fact had told us too much I remembered what he said to us about knocking off David Granton's red wig the moment we doubted him and I positively tried to help myself awkwardly to potato chips when the footman offered them so as to hit the supposed wig with an apparently careless brush of my elbow but it was of no avail the fellow seemed to anticipate or suspect my intention and Dodge decided carefully like one well accustomed to saving his disguise from all chance of such real or seeming accidents I was so full of my discovery that immediately after lunch I induced Isabelle to take our new friends round the Hume Garden and show them Charles's famous prize dailies while I proceeded myself to narrate to Charles and Amelia my observations and my frustrated experiment it is a wig Amelia ascended I spotted it at once a very good wig too and most artistically planted men don't notice these things though women do it is creditable to you Sima to have succeeded in detecting it Charles was less complimentary you fool he answered with that unpleasant frankness which is much too common with him supposing it is why on earth should you try to knock it off and disclose him what good would it have done if it is a wig and we spotted that's all that we need we are put on our guard we know with whom we have now to deal we can't take a man up on a charge of wig-wearing the law doesn't interfere with it most respectable men may sometimes wear wigs why I knew a promoter who did and also the director of 14 companies what we have to do next is wait till he tries to cheat us and then pounce down upon him sooner or later you may be sure his plans will reveal themselves so we concocted an excellent scheme to keep them under constant observation lest they should slip away again as they did from the island first of all a media was to ask them to come and stop at the castle on the ground that the rooms of the inn were uncomfortably small we felt sure however that as on a previous occasion they would refuse the invitation in order to be able to slink off unperceived in case they should find themselves apparently suspected should they decline it's strange that scissorine should take a room at the chromity arms as long as they stop there and report upon their movements while during the day we would have the house watched by the head ghillie's son the most intelligent young man who could be trusted with true scotch-canniness to say nothing to anybody to our immense surprise Mrs. Forbes Gaskell accepted the invitation with the utmost alacrity she was profused in her thanks indeed for he told us the arms was an ill kept house and the cookery by no means agreed with her husband's liver it was sweet of us to invite them such kindness the perfect strangers was quite unexpected she should always say that nowhere on earth had she met with so cordial or friendlier reception as at Seldon Castle but she accepted unreservedly it can't be Colonel Clay I remarked to Charles he would never have come here even as David Granton with far more reason for coming he wouldn't put himself in our power he preferred the security and freedom of the chromity arms see, my brother-in-law said sententiously you're incorrigible you will persist in being the slave of prepossessions he may have some good reason of his own for accepting wait till he shows his hand and then we shall understand everything so for the next three weeks the Forbes Gaskells formed part of the house-party at Seldon I must say Charles paid the most assiduous attention he positively neglected his other guests in order to keep close to the two newcomers Mrs. Forbes Gaskell noticed the fact and commented on it you are really too good to us, Sir Charles she said I'm afraid you allow us quite to monopolise you but Charles, gallant as ever replied with a smile for so short a time, you know which made Mrs. Forbes Gaskell blush again that delicious blush of hers during all this time the professor went on calmly and persistently mineralogising wonderful character Charles said to me he works out his parts so well could anything exceed the picture he gives one of scientific ardour and indeed he was at it morning, noon and night sooner or later Charles observed something practical must come of it twice, meanwhile little episodes occurred which are well worth notice one day I was out with the professor on the long mountain watching him hammer at the rocks and a little bored by his performance when, past the time I asked him what a particular small water-worn stone was he looked at it and smiled if there were a little more mica in it he said he would be the characteristic nice of ice-born boulders hereabouts but there isn't quite enough and he gazed at it curiously indeed I answered it doesn't come up to sample doesn't it he gave me a meaning look ten percent he murmured in a slow strange voice ten percent is more usable I trembled violently was he bent then upon ruining me I cried and broke off I beg your pardon he said he was all pure innocence I reflected on what Charles had said about taking nothing for granted and held my tongue prudently the other incident was this Charles picked a sprig of white heather on the hill one afternoon after a picnic lunch I regret to say when he had taken perhaps a glass more champagne than was strictly good for him he was not exactly the worse for it but he was excited, good-humoured reckless and lively he brought the sprig to Mrs. Forbes Gaskell and handed it to her, ogling a little sweets to the sweet he murmured and looked at her meaningly white heather to white heather then he saw what he had done and checked himself instantly Mrs. Forbes Gaskell coloured up in the usual manner I don't quite understand she faltered Charles scrambled out of it somehow white heather for luck he said and the man who is privileged to give a piece of it to you is surely lucky she smiled not too well pleased I somehow felt she suspected us of suspecting her however as it turned out nothing came after all of the untoward incident next day Charles burst upon me to the triumphant well he has shown his hand he cried I knew he would he has come to me today with what do you think a fragment of gold in quartz from the Long Mountain no I exclaimed yes Charles answered he says there's a vein there with distinct specks of gold in it which might be worth mining when a man begins that way you know what he's driving at and what's more a forehand where he began saying to me there had long been gold in Sutherlandshire why not therefore in Russia and then he went at all into the comparative geology of the two regions this is serious I said what will you do wait and watch Charles answered and the moment he develops a proposal for shares and the syndicate to work the mine or a sum of money down as the price of his discovery get in the police for the next few days the professor was more active and ardent than ever he went peering about the rocks on every side with his hammer he kept on bringing in little pieces of stone with gold specks stuck in them and talking learnedly of the probable cost of crushing and milling Charles had heard all that before in point of fact he had assisted at the drafting of some dozens of prospectuses so he took no notice of the wig to develop his proposals he knew they would come soon and he watched and waited but of course to draw him on he pretended to be interested while we were all in this attitude of mind attending on Providence and Colonel Clay we happened to walk down by the shore one day in the opposite direction from the Seamuse Island suddenly we came upon the professor linked arm and arm with Sir Adolphus Cordery they were wrapped in deep talk and appeared to be most amicable now naturally relations had been a trifle strained between Sir Adolphus and the House of Van Drift since the incident of the slump but under the present circumstances and with such a matter at stake as the capture of Colonel Clay it was necessary to overlook all such minor differences so Charles managed to disengage the professor from his friend sent Amelia on with Forbes Gaskell towards the castle and stopped behind himself with Sir Adolphus and me to clear up the question do you know this man Cordery he asked with some little suspicion know him? well of course I do, Sir Adolphus answered he's Marmaduke Forbes Gaskell of the Yorkshire College the very distinguished man of science first rate mineralogist perhaps the best but one in England modesty forbade him to name the exception but are you sure it's he Charles inquired with growing doubt have you known him before this isn't the second case of flyer-machering me is it sure it's he Sir Adolphus echoed am I sure of myself why I've known Marmy Gaskell ever since we were at Trinity together knew him before he married Miss Forbes of Glenloose my wife's second cousin and hyphened his name with hers to keep the property and the family know them both most intimately came down here to the inn because I heard that Marmy was on the prowl among these hills and I thought he had probably something good to prowl after in the way of fossils but the man wears a wig Charles expostulated of course, Cordery answered he's as bald as a bat in front at least and he wears a wig to cover his baldness it's disgraceful, Charles exclaimed disgraceful taking us in like that and he grew red as a turkey-cock Sir Adolphus has no delicacy he burst out laughing oh, I see! he cried out simply bursting with amusement you thought Forbes Gaskell was Colonel Clay in disguise oh, my stars, what a lovely one you at least have no right to laugh Charles responded drawing himself up and growing still redder you led me once into a similar scrape and then backed out of it in a way unbecoming a gentleman besides, he went on getting angrier at each word this fellow, whoever he is has been trying to cheat me on his own account Colonel Clay or no Colonel Clay he's been salting my rocks with gold-bearing quartz and trying to lead me on into an absurd speculation Sir Adolphus exploded oh, this is too good, he cried I must go and tell Marmy and he rushed off to where Forbes Gaskell was seated on a corner of rock with Amelia as for Charles and myself we returned to the house half an hour later Forbes Gaskell came back to in a towering temper what is the meaning of this, sir? he shouted out as soon as he caught sight of Charles I'm told you've invited my wife and myself here to your house in order to spy upon us under the impression that I was Clay, the notorious swindler I thought you were Charles answered equally angry perhaps you may be still anyhow, you're a rogue and you tried to bamboozle me Forbes Gaskell, white with rage turned to his trembling wife Gertrude, he said, pack up your box and come away from these people instantly their pretended hospitality has been a studied insult they've put you and me in a most ridiculous position we were told before we came here and no doubt with truth that Sir Charles Van Drift was the most wasted and tyrannical old curmudgeon in Scotland we've been writing to all our friends to say ecstatically that he was, on the contrary a most hospitable, generous and large-hearted gentleman and now we find out he's a disgusting cad who asks strangers to his house from the meanest motives and then insults his guests with gratuitous vituperation it is well such people should hear the plain truth now and again in their lives the war gives me the greatest pleasure to tell Sir Charles Van Drift that he's a vulgar bounder of the first water go and pack your box Gertrude I'll run down to the chromity arms and order a cab to carry us away at once from this inhospitable sham castle you were a wig sir, you were a wig Charles exclaimed half choking with passion for indeed, as Forbes Gaskell spoke and tossing his head angrily the nature of his hair covering grew painfully apparent it was quite one-sided I do sir, that I may be able to shake it in the face of a cad the professor responded, tearing it off to readjust it and suiting the action to the word he brandished it thrice in Charles's eyes after which he darted from the room speechless with indignation as soon as they were gone Charles had recovered breath sufficiently in a rational conversation I ventured to observe this comes of being too sure we made one mistake we took it for granted that because a man wears a wig he must be an imposter which does not necessarily follow we forgot that not Colonel Claes alone have false coverings to their heads and that wigs may sometimes be worn from motives of pure personal vanity in fact, we were again the slaves of the conceptions I looked at him pointedly Charles rose before he replied Seymour Wentworth he said at last gazing down upon me with lofty scorn your moralising is ill-timed appears to me you entirely misunderstand the position and duties of a private secretary the oddest part of it, all however was this that Charles being convinced Forbes Gaskell though he wasn't Colonel Claes but had been fraudulently salting the rocks with gold, with intent to deceive took no further notice of the alleged discoveries the consequence was that Forbes Gaskell and Sir Adolphus went elsewhere with the secret and it was not till after Charles had sold a Seldon castle estate which he did shortly afterward the place having somehow grown strangely distasteful to him that the present Seldon Eldorados were put upon the market by Lord Craig Ellachy which was the place from him Forbes Gaskell, as it happened had reported to Craig Ellachy that he had found a load of high-grade ore on an estate unnamed which he would particularise on promise of certain contingent claims to founders shares and the old lord jumped at it Charles sold at grouse smore prices and the consequence is that the capital of the Eldorados is yielding at present very fair returns even after allowing for expenses of promotion while Charles has been done out of a good thing in gold mines but remembering the position and duties of a private secretary I refrain from pointing out to him at the time that this loss was due to a fixed idea though as a matter of fact depended upon Charles' strange preconception that the man with a wig whoever he might be was trying to diddle him End of chapter 8