 Craft presents the Great Gilder Sleeve. Yeah! Cheese Company will also bring you Bing Crosby every Thursday night. Present each week at this time Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Sleeve, written by John Whedon and Sam Moore. Here from the Great Gilder Sleeve in just a moment. But first have you seen the new chart of the basic seven food groups just released by Uncle Sam? Now if you follow this guide and serve foods from each of the seven groups every day, your family will be well nourished. The chart includes margarine fortified with vitamin A. So if you serve parquet, the vitamin A fortified margarine made by Kraft, you're meeting an important requirement of good nutrition and being doubly economical at the same time. For besides costing so little cash, parquet margarine takes only five red ration points a pound. It's one of the best energy foods you can serve. And what's more, parquet is famous for flavor. It's a wonderfully satisfying spread for bread. An appetizing seasoning for hot vegetables and a real flavor shortening for baking. Yes, and it's grand for pan frying too. So for fine flavor for double economy and for good nutrition every day, serve parquet, P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet margarine made by Kraft. It's a day in June, then if ever come perfect days. Well, it's one of those rare days in June, Saturday morning to be exact, and it's raining cats and dogs. Orfield's water commissioner stands glumly at a window in his living room watching the water come down and wishing that he'd gone to the office anyway. For margarine's niece is giving a shower for Leela, his intended bride, and he's been asked to stand by to help with the preparations. Rain, rain, go away. Get out of this room first, Brady. Yes. A fine day, fine for ducks. There's a speck of dust anywhere, Mrs. Pettibone is sure to notice. Mrs. Pettibone, that old hen? I don't see why we have to invite her. Now, Uncle Mort, this is not your party. Mrs. Pettibone happens to be a friend of Leela's. Well, I happen to be a friend of Leela's too, and I notice I'm not invited. Men never come to showers. You know that. I don't want to come to your old shower anyway. It wouldn't come if you paid me. Then what are you complaining about? Now, Brady, when the ladies arrived... Who's complaining? I merely remarked that Mrs. Pettibone is an old hen. I have a right to my opinion, haven't I? When the ladies arrived first... You haven't answered my question. Have I, or have I not a right to my opinion? Uncle Mort, I'm busy now and you're an old grouch. Brady, when the ladies arrived, I think we'll just have them put their things in Uncle Mort's study. Sure. Where do we put Uncle Mort? Just give him an apple and let him go sit in the coal bin. Come up to my room, Brady. May I inquire what you're going to do at this party? Do? Yes. Nothing but a bunch of women. Are you just going to let them sit and stuff themselves and criticize each other? What are you going to give them for entertainment? What do you mean by entertainment? I don't know. A little music, for instance. Helps to liven up a party. I love life and I want to live. Uncle Mort, if you're hinting that you'd like to sing that corny old ballad for the ladies... It's not a corny old ballad and I'm not hinting. Well, you're not singing either. This is strictly a party for the ladies. Now, Brady, when it comes time to serve the food, we'll set up the card tables. But, Miss Marchie, we only got one card table and that one's weak in the knees. Well, Uncle Mort's going to see if he can borrow some. Uncle Mort. Oh, I'm just waiting for it to clear up a little, my dear. That's what I'm doing now. I'm waiting. I don't think it's ever going to clear up, do you? Well, you can't tell. I'm keeping an eye on it. You know the old saying, rain before seven, clear before eleven, eh, Bertie? Yes. But how do you know what was doing before seven? You didn't get up to late thirties. Well, there's another old saying, Bertie, up before seven, dead before eleven. You know, you're not much help. You really aren't. Ben doesn't get here pretty soon. I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm going crazy here. I've got our men. Now, now, calm yourself, my dear. Calm down. Haste makes waste, you know. What I want to know is what makes haste. Yeah, very good. Just get you moving, Uncle Mort. There's a car pulling up in front right now, Miss Marchie. Got a busted fender like Mr. Ben. Oh, thank goodness. Now maybe we'll get something done. Yeah, it's about time. Ben has been holding us up here. Yeah, but he's got Leroy with him. Leroy? Why isn't Leroy at the drugstore? He's supposed to be at work. Here they come hot, putting it up the wall. Man, look at that rain. It's worse than the job-style floor. Let them in, Bertie. They'll be soaked. My goodness, come in quick. Oh, kind of wet. Yeah, kind of wet. Leroy, don't throw that raincoat on the floor. How are you, Ben? Fine. Kind of wet. Leroy, I'd like to know what you're doing home at this hour. Leroy? What's the matter? Leroy, honey, what happened to your eye? Why, it's all black. Leroy. Leroy. Let's be fair. Hey, boy, pull yourself together. Ben, do you know anything about this? All I know is I was driving over here and I found him walking along the rain crying. Leroy, honey, you come here to Bertie. No, let me alone. Now, but remember what I told you. Oh, you're not crying. Tell us how it happened, my boy. I didn't know. They did? That's inevitable. Who hit you? What was his name? By George, I'll see his father about this. I don't know his name, but he was bigger than me. And where did this happen? At the drugstore. At the drugstore? Wasn't Mr. Peavey around? Yeah, he was there. Didn't he have anything to say about it? Yeah, he said I could have the rest of the day off. Oh, well, that was nice of him. Are you better? Better run upstairs, young man, and change those wet clothes. Okay. One of these days I'm going to give you a little instruction on the art of self-defense, Leroy. And when you come down, Bertie's going to fix that eye for you. I know how. How does it happen you're an authority on black eyes, Bertie? Well, Mr. Gillsley, with my first husband, they was chronic. Oh? What was the treatment he favored? Beef steak. Inside of three days, the eyes as good as new. Oh, well, it may be a good cure, Bertie, but it's obsolete. These days, people get black eyes just trying to get beef steak. Uncle Mord, I hate to keep after you, but we've got to get those card tables from Mrs. Pettibon. Oh, card tables, certainly, my dear. Ben and I will go get them, won't we, Ben? Huh? Sure. What? Just have to borrow a few card tables. And the punch bowl. And don't forget, you've still got to arrange to get Lilo over here. Lilo? Oh, yes, my goodness. Don't give it away now. Remember, we want the whole thing to be a surprise. Surprise. Don't worry. Just leave it to your Uncle Mord. Come on, Ben. We'll have to take a car, I guess. Yeah. Kind of wet. Yes. Well, what shall we take? I take mine, but it's in the garage, and as long as yours is out in front. How you fix for gas, I'm a little low myself. Well, all I got is about half a gallon. Great. Let's go then, my boy. This is it, Ben. Yeah. Dr. Manford Pettibon. Manford. Yeah, he must have studied medicine so people would call him Doc. Where's the doorbell? Wouldn't you think a doctor would have a doorbell? Well, maybe that's it. That's there. What? For goodness sake. A bell? You twist? I haven't seen one of those in 20 years. Listen to this, Ben. I'll be darned. Look out. Here she comes, the old... Oh, how do you do, Mrs. Pettibon? Well, Mr. Gilda Sleeve. Oh, I'm sorry, but Dr. Pettibon is at his office. But I came to see you. I didn't come to see the doctor. Oh, my goodness, this hasn't happened in some years. Do come in out of the rain, Mr. Gilda Sleeve, and... Oh, this is Ben Waterford, Mrs. Pettibon. He brought me over. Yeah. I drove. I see. Well, do come in, Mr. Waterford. Thanks. Oh, now I know who Mr. Waterford is. You're the young man who's been casting sheep's eyes at Marjorie for so long, aren't you? Oh, no, I... it's been... hanging around. Oh, now I imagine you've been hanging around Marjorie the way a bumblebee hangs around a flower garden. Every once in a while, that old bee steals a little honey. Not me. I never even touch anything. Well, I think you're a lovely boy, and you tell Marjorie I said so. Yes, ma'am. I'll tell her. Oh, no. But, gosh, you'd better borrow the stuff, Mr. Gilda Sleeve. The stuff? Oh, yes, Ben. Mrs. Pettibon, you know about the shower Marjorie's giving for Mrs. Ransom. Oh, yes, I'm looking forward to it. Well, Marjorie thought if you could lend us a bridge table or two. Oh, certainly, Mr. Gilda Sleeve. I certainly. Do you need anything else? No, I don't think so. What's the matter, Ben? Punch bowl. Oh, yes, a punch bowl. Oh, I thought so. Mighty few people want guard tables without wanting my cut glass punch bowl. Now, if you'll step this way, gentlemen, the punch bowl is out here in the dining room. Oh, thank you. Come on, Ben. Oh, Mr. Gilda Sleeve, I'll bet you're happy these days, aren't you? Me? Oh, I remember how happy Manfred was in the days before we were married. Yeah, sure he was. So was I. Of course, I know Mrs. Ransom is so happy. I'm awfully glad she is, because often when a woman's marrying for the second time, it's so difficult to avoid comparisons. Hmm. I must say your Lila is simply radiant these days. I saw her in the furniture department at Hogan's yesterday, and she was having a marvelous time. What was she looking at? Everything. She looked at a dining room suite and a living room suite and a playroom set. A living room? Leroy's too old for a playroom. Mr. Gilda Sleeve, this was a grown-up playroom, like the stars have out in Hollywood. I believe they call them rompers' rooms. Oh, so? Yes. Reading about them, I've often thought it would be thrilling to have a little rompers with Humphrey Bogart. Where is the punch bowl? Oh, of course. You've got to hurry back. Well, now, you'll be awfully careful of this, won't you? It belonged to my father's mother. They were the whites of Terre Haute. Terre Haute? Oh, yes, I'll be careful. And Mr. Waterwood, you'll be careful of the tables. This one is a little weak in the lay. Oh, yes. Well, thanks, Mrs. Pettybone. I may see you this afternoon at the shower. I hope so. Yeah. Oh, look at that rain. Gosh, can't run with two car tables. What a sceptre. We'll be all right. Goodbye, Mrs. Pettybone. Goodbye. Bye. Yeah. Now, take it easy, Ben. Take it. Hey, look out. George, I certainly bruised my bridge table. Ooh, I wonder if Leela heard me. You look mad on a day like this, Throckmorton. Oh, nothing. I just happen to be driving around. I like the rain, anyway. Do you? So do I. I think it's so romantic. I just don't like to go out, and it is all. By the way, Leela, what are you doing this afternoon? This afternoon? Me? Mm-hmm. Oh, well, I'm afraid I'm going to be busy this afternoon. Oh. All the way over here in the rain to tell me you're going to be busy this afternoon. Well, so am I. I didn't mean it that way, Leela. If you must know, I'm planning to spend the entire afternoon burning old love letters. Leela, I've only written you three. Gracious. Do you think you're the only man who ever wrote me love letters? Huh? Why, my husband Beauregard wrote me letters whose memory I shall treasure all my life to mention only one of many. Beauregard? I bet he wrote a fine legal love letter. To whom it may concern, by these presents, be it known where as the undersigned. That is an extremely bad taste, extremely. Well, you keep talking about Beauregard. Beauregard was a gentleman. Whatever else you may say about him, he was a gentleman. All right, he was a gentleman. He was handsome, too. All right, he was a handsome gentleman. And his soul goes marching on. I wish you wouldn't keep digging him up, Leela. I didn't come over here to talk about Beauregard anyway. I was sent over to deliver an invitation. Invitations? Yeah, you can accept it or not, I don't care. I think these hen parties are a lot of nonsense anyway. A party? Well, what kind of a party? I can't tell you, it's a secret. Oh, please, now you've got me all curious. Tell Leela. Me, I'll tell you a secret. Uh-uh. About Beauregard. Beauregard? Huh? What about him? Well, it's true that he was a gentleman. I know, you said that. And he was handsome. You said that, too. But he had the biggest feet in Savannah, Georgia. Now, now tell me about the party. Oh, I can't, I promise not to, Leela. But I'll give you a hint. All right. What is doing outdoors right now? It's raining. What's another word for it? Horing. No, no. I'll tell you, Leela, what do you see a rainbow after? Afternoon? No, no. Well, I never saw one in the morning. Look, Leela, what do you take when you come in from working in the garden and you're all hot and dusty? You take a drink. You take a drink. Leela, what does it your friends give you when you're about to get married and they think you haven't got enough pot holders? Well, I'm afraid I'm not very good at guessing games, frog, marten, and mine. Don't you worry, honey. You just come over to my house about three and bring a bushel basket. You better bring your umbrella, too. It might shower. Obviously, we'll be with us again in just a few seconds. Meanwhile, do you know that there are two people you can help by planning your grocery shopping in advance these days? The first one is you. Yes, you'll find that planning family menus for several days ahead saves a lot of nervous wear and tear and makes those precious ration points go farther. What's more, if you'll do your shopping early in the day and early in the week, you'll find that your grocer is more likely to have on hand the foods that you've planned to buy. And speaking of your grocer, he's the other one you'll help by planning family buying in advance, and he deserves the help that you can give him. Yes, though, rationing and sealing prices may mean work for you these days, just think of what they mean to him. Extra work and extra trouble every day, long after hours, planning, buying, shelving hundreds of foods. You'll learn his thanks by planning and by shopping early. And if it happens that he's sometimes out of favorite products like parking margarine, remember it's because of heavy demand and wartime shortages. Just remember that your grocer is doing his important best. He's helping to win this war by serving you. So help him all you can. Now let's see what's happening to the Great Gilder Sleeve. In all the confusion of getting the house ready for Leela's shower, the head of the house has become something of an orphan. For lunch, he was handed a meager sandwich and a glass of milk in the laundry. And now he's been dispatched to the drugstore with Leroy to pick up the party ice cream. For some reason, Leroy prefers to wait in the car outside while his uncle goes into the shop. Oh, by George. Hello, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. Oh, Phoebe. Did you order this weather? No, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. I didn't, but I ordered an extra supply of Alcazino on the strength of it. Alcazino? For colds. Cures are cold, does it? Well, no, I wouldn't say that. But it goes well with it. It does no harm. It has a mildly unpleasant taste. Well, I'll have to try it sometime. It admires we phoned you about the ice cream, Phoebe. Yes, yes, she did. I'll have it waiting for you all wrapped up. Good. Say, what's this I hear about Leroy getting into a fist fight down here this morning? Oh, that was very regrettable. Very. I was sorry that happened. Yeah, the boy was bigger than Leroy, too, I understand. Well, no, I wouldn't say that. Huh? They were pretty evenly matched us to size, but Leroy seemed to be a little lacking in technique. Oh, well, I'm afraid I haven't done right by the boy. The windmill approach. Suicide. Tell me, Phoebe, how did the fight start? Well, that I really couldn't say, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. I was in the prescription department back there, and suddenly I was awakened by the sound of voices. It seemed to be some kind of an altercation. Oh, what was the fight about? Well, I believe it had to do with the comic books. It seems Leroy ordered the boy to keep his hands off them, and the boy refused. So Leroy took steps. I was sorry it happened. Well, I guess it didn't do him any harm, but it was nice of you to let him off for the rest of the day, Phoebe. Oh, is that what he told you? What do you mean? Well, there is. I dispensed with Leroy's services. You did? As of this morning. I was sorry to do it, but we have a rule here. Never hit a customer. Well, no wonder he didn't want to come into the store with me. Where did I get that kid home? Well, Mr. Gilder Sleeve, boys will be boys. As a matter of fact, I was planning to hire him back again Monday. Oh, well, I got a few things to say to him in the meantime. How much is the ice cream? Three is seventy-three. One dollar. Yes, and you tell Leroy to come around and see me Monday, and I think we can patch up our little differences, provided there's no more fighting. I'll tell him, Phoebe, and thanks. And you might also tell him if he must fight for goodness sakes, don't lead with his nose. I'll take that up with him. I'll make a note of it. Goodbye, Phoebe. Goodbye, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. Uncle Lord, what time did you tell Mrs. Ransom to come? At three, my dear, and don't worry. The tables and everything look wonderful. Oh, thank you. But wouldn't it be awful if he didn't come? What would we do? You give me the shower. I love egg beaters. Oh, silly. That's the awful thing about surprise parties. You're never sure who's going to be surprised. Oh, and nobody's surprised. They just pretend they are. There. Not Lela. We have a little signal. Yes, I know. I'll bet it's Mrs. Teddy Boat. Yes, she'd hate to miss anything. Now, you get out of sight, Uncle Lord. You too, Leroy. What? Why that old lady? Hello, Leroy. Where'd you get the black eye? Oh, heck, I was just beginning to forget it. I just dropped in to see if you needed any card tables, Marjorie. I hear you're giving a party. Oh, well, thank you, Judge, but we really don't need any more. I've got one right here in the car. I just happened to be passing. And do I smell chicken salad? You might. Well, nothing I can do to help. No, not a thing, Judge. Sorry if you've gone to any trouble. That's all right. I haven't a thing in the world do this afternoon. Anyway, I just happened to be passing by. Put down that olive, Booker. No, you made me swallow the pit. Don't worry. It wasn't a pit. It was a pimento. Thank goodness. Now, I can see you're all busy. As I say, I had just a chance to be passing, and I... Well, I'm sorry, Judge. I'd ask you to stay any time but this. But, see, I'm giving this party, and it's for ladies only, so you'll just have to go on home. All right, Marjorie. I can take a hint. And you needn't laugh, Uncle Mort, because you won't be at the party either. Your job is to entertain Leroy this afternoon. Booker, you get out of here. I'm going. Have a nice afternoon, guilty. Marjorie, you don't mean that. I do indeed, Uncle Mort. Can't I even stay till Lila gets here? No. But Marjorie, I'm the bridegroom. Yes, but this isn't the wedding. Oh. It's a shower for the bride, and if you want it to be successful and pleasant for Lila, keep Leroy happy. Keep Leroy? All right, my dear, for you and Lila. Gosh, sis, just to give Mrs. Ransom a couple of pots and pans, do I have to spend a horrible afternoon? Young man, it's going to be horrible for both of us. Go into my study. See if you can look through this keyhole and tell me what's going on. Okay. Gosh, can't see very much. Looks like a hippopotamus dead ahead. That's Mrs. Pettybone. Could be. Oh, that's Lila's ring. We have a little signal. Oh, here she comes, girls. Let me get that keyhole, Leroy. Take it. You can't see a thing. Shh, listen. Ah, gee, Uncle, you can't see anything. Let's play checkers. Shh, quiet. They're talking about me. Who is? Mrs. Ransom. What did she say? She said she was going to marry the most wonderful man in the world. I don't know. I wouldn't say that. Leroy, you're getting just like Peavey. Well, no. Leroy, don't keep saying that. Sorry, Uncle, no, I was saying anything. Uh, now they've all gone in the dining room for the presents. I wish I could see Lila's face when she casts a sight of all that chickenware. Yeah. Kitchenware. How about a game of checkers? What? I said how about a game of checkers? Checkers? Yeah. Ah, Leroy, you lost two of the men. Well, if you suggest something. Well, we could settle down with a nice book. Aunt, this is Saturday. It's as good a day to read as any. Don't you think Abraham Lincoln read on Saturdays? I know, Uncle, but I don't think I'm presidential timber. Yes. Frankly, I don't either, Leroy. Wait a minute. I've got an idea. What? You'll go down in the cellar and I'll give you a boxing lesson. Ah, gee, Uncle, my black eye and everything, I might get hurt. Don't worry. I won't hit you in the eye. I don't like the idea, Uncle. You're pretty strong. Leroy, this will do you good. Make a man out of you. Put spring in your step and sparkle in your good eye. I love life and I want to live. I love life. Lord, Lord, I can hear you all over the house. Oh, but I... All right, Leroy, come down in the cellar and I'll come on. All right, the first thing to learn in boxing is the stance. You balance lightly on the balls of the feet, left foot forward, left arm extended, like this. Ha, you look just like those pictures of John L. Sullivan in his long underwear. Yes. John L. was a great fighter, young man. Oh, let's get started. First comes a matter of training. A good fighter does nine. Tensibus worked before entering the ring. Oh, gosh, Uncle, that stuff is in the book. Besides, I'm in good condition here. Feel this muscle. Oh, very good. But you... Let me see yours. All right, here. Jeepers, heart is a rock. I managed to keep pretty fit. Diet is important, of course. Don't tell me you're on a boxing diet, Uncle. Well, not strictly. I like to keep a little above my actual fighting weight. Are you kidding? All right, Leroy. Let's mix it a little now and I'll show you a thing or two. Will you teach me some tricks? Tricks? What kind of tricks? Oh, you know, like stepping on the other guy's foot. Leroy, that's no good with a clever opponent. I'll show you the best trick there is, though. Simple as ABC and just as deadly. What is it, Uncle? It's the faint, my boy. You faint for the body with your right, then hit for the jaw with your left. It's the element of surprise and it never fails. Gee, how do you do it? I'll show you. Here. I start a punch towards your stomach. You see? You put your guard down and I come across and hit you in the jaw. Wow. Let me see now. I start for your stomach. That's right. Your guard goes down and I ram right in the jaw. That's it. Now try it again, but don't hit hard. Okay. Swing on the stomach and I come across to the jaw. Perfect. Thanks, Uncle. I'll murder him with that. Yeah, I hope you will. Because I don't have to let you hit me. I don't want to. What do you mean? There's a defense for everything, you know, my boy. I'll show you. You try to hit me and if you land a real punch, I'll give you a dollar. You mean hit you hard? Certainly. Don't worry. I know how to block it. Okay. There it goes. That's the... I can't breathe. It was not. How Uncle Mark can take care of himself? If you ladies want, I'll sing for you. Hey, Roy, suppose we just leave it to the ladies. What would you ladies like to hear? Oh, Mr. Gillis, leave. I wonder if you'd sing a song I just love. What's that? I love life. That's all, brother. Mrs. Pettibo. Has anybody ever told you you're a woman of rare charm? Look at that cute little breakfast set. Oh, breakfast in bed. Don't you love it? That's the greatest luxury in the world. Darling, I'm so glad I'm marrying somebody who appreciates breakfast in bed. You know what? I love to think of us living all by ourselves way off somewhere in a tiny cottage. With geraniums? With geraniums. And we wouldn't have a care in the world every morning just sleep, ladies, you please. Yeah. Till finally I open my eyes and there you are tiptoeing in with my tray. Leela, I've just decided something. Why? We're going to take Birdie on our honeymoon. Good night, everybody. She's on the direction of Claude Sweeten. This is Ken Carpenter speaking for the Crab Cheese Company. And by the unit, we're going to get next Sunday for the further adventures of The Great Yellow Sleeves. Can any of you remember the old Broadway hit play called Come Out of the Kitchen? Well, that's a good slogan for these days when the victory garden needs attention and there's many other important jobs to do. Well, the product called Kraft Dinner is a dandy to cut down your cooking time. For, with Kraft Dinner, you cook a grand dinner main dish of macaroni and cheese in just seven minutes with a clock. In Kraft Dinner, you have an exceptional red ration point value, a generous, nutritious main dish. Ask your grocer for Kraft Dinner tomorrow. This program came to you from Hollywood. This is The National Broadcasting Company.