 Good evening. Hello. Hello. It's Jen. I am going to double tap and flip the camera. Hi Let's get this set up. So I'm not bouncing it around Hey, oh, I just saw Keisha and Michael and Hi, thanks for the hearts Hey, Amy Yay, Lauren. Okay. Hi. Oh, I'm super excited to see all of you all in here. I am um Less less formally prepared this time. There is no download. There is no link to anything. We're just gonna talk Didn't even show or really we're moving households right now and things are just crazy crazy So I am happy teacher appreciation day to you. I think we're just gonna chat tonight a little bit I definitely have a topic, but I want to get ideas from you guys as well. Hey, Eric Eric I always say your name Eric and I don't know if I should say Eric or Eric But I'm pretty sure that you and I were in a voxer group together at some point and you said Eric like with an e so Tell me yes or no if that's correct for me to do that But maybe I'm confusing you with another Eric. I know who spelled his name with an a it's pronounced like yes, okay Good. Good. Okay So Here is the topic. Hey Jason and I'm sorry Sorry that I missed last week, but um, okay So Lauren lives in Bowling Green, Kentucky with me. We are staying in Bowling Green We're just moving to a bigger house because So let me just tell you really quickly. This is just some personal stuff sort of it's not that personal actually, but My husband and I both work out of our home and so all day long he's trying to talk to me and I've got three kids too and I'm trying to get stuff done and everybody just Wants my attention all the time and my office is basically the dining room and it sucks. So Also, we've got three kids and two of them Have been sharing a room forever and they're getting older, so we just needed more space. So Laura We're just moving to a bigger house. That's it. So very excited about that, but it's just been very chaotic and I Look like a lamp. Oh Now come on. Hang on. I thought you look like a lamp was funny, but then it just got mean All right, so the idea tonight is I got a question from a teacher who Wanted to know how to handle it when students Say negative things about other teachers and I thought this is perfect for a periscope because I Know that's happened to me a lot And I know that I have handled it in a variety of different ways And I have different perspective on it now that I think I did when I was in the classroom I think I probably didn't handle it in the best way And so I wanted to share my thoughts on that and I want to hear your thoughts on it because I am sure that you all have got Ideas that I haven't thought of so let me just tell you what the situation is for me This or the scenario that would typically happen to me We would be I did a lot of sort of informal casual Conversation with students, you know, we would be we would get a lesson done or whatever But then there would always be time to talk and because I taught language arts There was always time for just talking and I was a middle school teacher So there's always plenty of time for you know, just you know having conversations so They would they would talk about their other teachers and this actually even happened at the college level too They would say, you know This is gonna be another one of those nights Hang on a second. I get so excited to see all the people that are in the periscope And then I realize that they're all just gonna be gross So they would start talking about their other classes or sometimes it would start with like a compliment You know, it would start with like. Oh, you know, you're my favorite teacher or something like that, you know And and it's nice. It's an ego boost to have a teacher or have a kid say that but pretty, you know, quickly it would Be followed by kind of a complaint about another teacher and in middle school and high school kids have lots and lots of teachers, so You know, and they would just say something like oh, I wish we could do stuff like this in so-and-so's class or I wish that, you know, this other person would let us do this the way that you do and you know, sometimes I would say nothing and And here's the I guess the first thing that I want to say about that the first sort of maybe mistake that I would have made in that situation that I think is kind of a mistake and A thing that you have to be careful about is that I would feel good about it when they would say that just a little bit and it would and this and I'm being brutally honest now and I Just think there's a lesson to be learned from this I think feeling good about something like that It it automatically set up this dynamic of competition between me and the other teachers Do you know it sort of made me feel like yes, you know, I am doing things better than they're doing which I don't think there's anything really that healthy about thinking that way because I really needed to be thinking about my relationship with other teachers as Something more collaborative and something more that we were a team and I think sometimes When I would hear things like that from my students what it did is that it would affirm for me the decisions I was making in the classroom and It would basically say to me. Yes, what I'm doing is I'm on the right track and the kids are enjoying it and they're enjoying this class and I think that some You know somebody could say to that well They just like your class because you're not challenging them or you're being too easy on them or you know You don't have any standards or your classroom management is a mess. So they just think this class is a free-for-all but oh no some Well, I'm gonna just keep talking if One Lauren is getting a bad connection if anybody else is getting a bad connection also Let me know and hopefully it'll come through on the replay nicely Okay, alright, so maybe it's just happening in One section anyway here. So here's what I was saying the students would give me this compliment They would sort of compete compare me to another teacher and I would feel good about it and I would think yeah because This person this person and that person like I would see the way that they would treat the other kids And I would think that's crappy and they shouldn't be doing it that way And so when the kids would say stuff, I would feel good about it, but I think when as soon as you sort of allow yourself to Start feeling that way then it's a slippery slope I think then you can start to feel more competitive with other teachers and almost feel like there were times when I almost felt Like it was me and the kids versus some of the other teachers and I don't think that's very professional, you know, I just Maybe it's because back then I was closer to the age of my students Then I am now but Well, you know, that's a good point some teachers suck and kids are so powerless they they are The kids are powerless and I think that's the position sometimes I felt like I was being put in that, you know, I Wish that the other teachers could be handling things in a different way But here's the thing here's here's the mistake that I made sometimes I think I would let these conversations go on a little bit too long so and There were times when I would just kind of dig right in there and I just start asking them a bunch of questions and and I just think that Especially in middle and high school when so many of the problems between kids happen Because they are talking smack about each other behind each other's backs And that's what starts seems like 90% of the problems in middle and high school is that they are talking about each other And so for me to even entertain these conversations it's a tricky spot to be in because I Loved my students. I I wanted to listen to their problems about pretty much everything else But as soon as they started to talk about other teachers, I felt like that put me into the position of having to be kind of unprofessional so Here is what I would do differently now and and the times that I would Think make the right decision would have been times when I would have stopped the conversation I think there are several things you could do one would be To tell the one student who's complaining that you would like to talk to them about this later in private so that it's not You know a free-for-all for everybody in the room talking about this person What you just said and I didn't see the name that that using this as an opportunity to talk about how not everyone meshes That's another approach and that's something that I definitely did some time to just said, you know what as you all go through school You are going to find some teachers who you don't get along with as well and You have a choice you can choose to let your relationship with that teacher get in the way of your future and your options Or you can find some coping strategies for getting through that teachers class because this is definitely not going to be the last time You're going to have a teacher or a professor who you don't get along with You don't have to like them, but just respect them. Yeah, and the thing is we've all had teachers who we couldn't stand I've had teachers who I thought were just terrible. They were just terrible at what they did. They were disrespectful of students But if nothing else I had to at least respect The position of power that they were in and I had to at least Recognize the fact that in some ways they held some of the power over my future And so I could either be stubborn and dig my heels in and let that bad relationship get in my way Or I could just figure out coping strategies and so Sometimes that's something I would do too. I would talk to my students about okay How do you handle this? You know, how can you handle the situation when somebody when you feel someone's being disrespectful to you? But you are not in the position of power How do you handle it? Are you willing to give up everything? You know, you can teach them that expression about is this the hill that you're willing to die on? Are you willing to really basically sacrifice some things for yourself in order to? prove a point or you know get your respect or whatever it is or can you just kind of duck under and deal with it So that you can get what you need One of the things I was going to be getting back to too is that If I'm allowing students to talk about another person Without them being there Then what I am modeling for them is that it's okay for them to do that about each other too And so I don't necessarily need to shame my students and be like, you know, how dare you cannot you know I will never talk about another teacher, you know, without their presence, but you can just say to them. I I don't feel comfortable talking about another teacher when they're when they're not in the room And so one of the things that I that I have done in the past to is to try to strategize with that student For how to approach that teacher about that issue and you know, a lot of times I would suggest, you know Writing them a letter, you know, and they would say no, she would never listen or whatever and and I would say, you know You never know unless you try, you know, and and I would even talk to them about how you How you use I statements to explain how something makes you feel me read that I have a conversation with the retreat other staff The way they were I missed that one. Okay. Sorry about that. I missed one of the comments Teachers also need to be spoken to as well Marjorie Are you saying that? It sounds like you're saying that the kids should talk to the teachers instead of talking about them Or are you saying that? That we need to I can advise you about how to handle this, but I can't entertain gossip Jason. That's good That's good. That's exactly because I think they they need to see They need to see how a rational person handles that situation Because then they can take your model and they can apply the same thing when they're having lunch with their friends and one of them starts to Talk about another person You can just say let's not talk about this other person while they're not here And I really feel like there's a huge difference. I don't know why and I don't know if you agree with this or not But I feel like there's a huge difference between two people Um Venting to each other and sort of sharing thoughts, you know about a third person Versus a whole group of people talking about a third party Thank you for repeating that if students treated staff like they do me Probably would be more likely to listen to the student in a process that Are you saying we had that conversation normally they say yeah, you're right Okay, are you saying that that that to your own students that they're saying you're saying hey you guys are great with me Why don't you treat this other teacher the same way? That's kind of how I'm reading that That it if the students because though that's the thing that's true, too Is that once that relationship is kind of messed up this the kids don't treat that same teacher the same way either? Anyway, it's a good opportunity to role model It's a really good opportunity to sort of like teach the kids how to handle a personality that they don't really mesh with very well But here's what I want to ask you all Because I know how I handled it. Thank you marine. Thank you for being patient Yeah having manners seems to coincide with being respectful It's true The thing is and well and here's where I'm going with this too if you're dealing with another teacher At least let's say all of your teacher your kids keep saying to you You know, we're so frustrated with this teacher because she is always like losing our stuff for example say they turn things in And she's always losing assignments. So it's you know It's information that you could theoretically give to that other teacher as their colleague Would you go and tell them? We I mean I first of all I know what you're gonna say it depends on what kind of a relationship I have but Nobody really likes to hear criticism. So let's assume that you don't have a great relationship with this person Let's assume that you have kind of a medium relationship with them where you sort of Your professional and you're sort of friendly, but you're not close Do you approach them about this? Do you approach your admin about it and say yeah, right? That would not end well I know that's what I'm saying like I'm trying to imagine a teacher coming to me being like the kids We're talking about you today So admin Colleen you're saying wait a minute. I don't know if that it that's not Colleen Go go and talk to the administrator and maybe maybe the best approach is to say to the students If you don't feel comfortable talking to this teacher and you feel that it is a serious concern then Maybe you need to go and talk to the principal about it. I'm also thinking though with some of my middle school kids I can see them saying Miss Gonzalez told us to go to the principal about this like they tend to take nuanced, you know, like carefully worded statements and then just cut them down to The bare bones that just make you look good. It depends on the information the kids were giving. That's true I mean if it's obviously if it's something really really serious, then you you have a professional obligation to go and tell somebody but I Mean really I think our overall objective is to teach our students how to problem solve And so if the problem that they're having is with another teacher then talk to them about ways that they can handle that Encourage the students to speak to the teacher. That's the thing is they should they should always try to go to the person first But yeah, it just depends so I get sounds like we all agree we wouldn't go to our colleague and tell them Yeah, we just don't need that Um, I'm trying to think if there's anything else that I was gonna add about this topic. I just think that it's um, I Think probably the one thing that I know now that I didn't know when I first started teaching is that it's a It's a thorny kind of a compliment and Once you show the students that you are responsive to that kind of a compliment then they're gonna keep doing it and they're going to They're gonna keep doing it in your room They're gonna keep seeing your classroom as a place to talk crap about other teachers Amy was just talking about how you can almost flip it and say I know that this teacher cares a lot about you Which is interesting that's definitely a way of Sort of changing the kids energy around I've heard people say that too in that when when a friend says something negative about another friend You can say oh, she's always said wonderful things about you But I do think that kids are in a rough position You know when they're alone with certain teachers, they could be having a really terrible experience and feel that they have no recourse at all So just having a sort of general conversation with them about what do you do if you feel that you are Being treated poorly, you know and sometimes what I would say a lot of times I would try to vet out what they were saying You know it's a are you know, are you sure about this? Are you sure you didn't? Goodness gracious I'm supposed to be on airplane mode, but maybe I'm not I'm getting notifications I Got completely Just oh, I would say to them are you sure that you read the assignment carefully Are you sure that you're paying attention because I know here's the other the flip of the coin to that one is that you know If they're saying stuff about another Another teacher to you what are they saying about you to another teacher? This just the some of these kids can turn around and be doing the same thing in other people's classrooms So if all of you sort of develop a culture of you know, we are we are not going to be Talking negatively about other teachers without their presence then You sort of set the tone for for everybody Okay, so that's all I have tonight if you really quickly I'm going to do a little advertising tonight if you happen to be somebody who Knows about my classroom products the things that I sell on teachers pay teachers We are having a two-day teacher appreciation sale right now Everything is 20% off in my store and then teachers pay teachers takes another 10% off at checkout So if you happen to be somebody who has Maybe seen my teachers guide to tech and wanted to get that or the Google Drive course that I have for teachers and students Which teaches it allows you to basically give your students these videos and they can teach themselves How to use Google Docs and Google Slides and Google Forms? Some of that stuff is a little bit higher price than some stuff So just wanted to let you know That tonight or tomorrow night would be a perfect time to go and grab that because it's about it averages out to be about 28% off so wanted to let you know about that and I think that is all I am Excited to be back on tonight, and I'm planning on being back on again next Tuesday night And thank you all so much for your comments. I apologize for the ones that I did not Yeah, Lauren just added to the promo code is celebrate if you want to get that extra 10% off a check At you enter the term, but it's right there at the top of teachers pay teachers Just remember to add that thank you all so much have a wonderful night, and I will talk to you again next week