 Four questions that will change your life. Is it possible? Well, according to the author Byron Katie who wrote the book Loving What Is, there are four questions that you can ask yourself. Whenever you're going through a tough situation or whatever you are stuck in your head. What are the four questions? Well, number one, is it true? Number two, can you absolutely know it's true? Number three, how do you react when you think that thought? And then number four, who would you be without the thought? So I'm going to go through those questions right now in a little bit more detail. But to put it in context, let's just say as an example, let's just say you're having a fight with someone. Oh, stupid James. Damn him. I can't believe he did that. He's so selfish. He forgot to pick up the groceries and he's always thinking about himself. This is just an example. I just made up, right? So whenever you catch yourself being angry with someone or being angry at a situation, the author of this book Loving What Is by Byron Katie says to ask yourself those four questions. Number one, is it true? Number two, can you absolutely know it's true? Number three, how do you react when you think that thought? And then number four, who would you be without the thought? So in that scenario and that analogy, let's go through it. Okay, so is it true? The author says, and I'm just, I'm reading from the book here. Take your time. The work is about discovering what is true from the deepest part of yourself. It may not coincide with anything you've ever considered before, but when you experience your own answer, you'll know it. Just be gentle, sit with it and let it take you deeper in. There are no right or wrong answers to these questions. You are listening for your answers now, not other people's and not anything you have been taught. This can be very unsettling because you're entering the unknown. As you continue to dive deeper, allow the truth within you to rise and meet the question. Be gentle as you give yourself to inquiry. Let this experience have you completely. So in the analogy that I just referred to, is it true? Is it true that James is selfish because he forgot the groceries? So that would be the first question. You know, someone's complaining like, James, we've got the groceries. He's so selfish. So then you would say, oh, okay, well, is it true that James is selfish? That's the first question. So is it true? I'm reading from page 23 of the book Loving What Is. Four questions that can change your life by Byron, Katie. All right. Second question is, can you absolutely know it's true? The author says, this is an opportunity to go deeper into the unknown to find the answers that live beneath what we think we know. All I can tell you about this realm is that what lives beneath the nightmare is a good thing. Do you really want to know the truth? If your answer to question two is yes, you can simply move on to the next question. But you may find it useful to pause and rewrite your statement in order to uncover your interpretation of it. Okay. So in other words, it's like, can you absolutely know that James is selfish? Like, can you absolutely know? So the first question is, is it true that James is selfish? And that might get you into a question like, oh, well, he did forget it and he's supposed to do it. And this is a regular thing, but does it mean he's selfish? Yeah, I do think it's selfish. But then the second question is, can you absolutely know that it's true? Well, actually, the only thing that we know to be true is that James didn't get the groceries. But can we be absolutely true that it's him acting selfishly? Or is there something else at play? Like, maybe he made a mistake or maybe there's something else happened or maybe I didn't communicate to him properly. So that's the purpose of question number two, which is, can you absolutely know it's true? The third question is, how do you react when you think that thought? So in this example, we're saying, James is selfish because he forgot the groceries. So you would ask yourself, how do you react? And the author, Byron Katie says, make a list. How do you treat yourself? How do you treat the person that you're upset with when you think that thought? What do you do? Be specific. Make a list of your actions. What do you say to that person when you think that thought? List the things you say. How do you live when you believe that thought? List how each reaction feels physically inside you. Where do you feel it? How does it feel, for example, tingling hot? What is the self-talk that goes on in your head when you think that thought? So for example, when you're asking yourself this question, it's like, well, the question is, how do you react when you think that thought? Then some examples of that might be, I'm angry. I'm pissed off. I'm annoyed. I'm agitated. I think James doesn't care. I'm frustrated. Now, what this is doing is, when you start to verbalize this, this is not designed for you to feel even more agitated and frustrated and pissed off and annoyed. What it's supposed to do is get you out of your body and looking at yourself, feeling those thoughts. Because there's a difference between feeling angry and noticing yourself feeling angry. Feeling angry means you're angry, but when you notice yourself feeling angry, it separates you from that anger, and it just diffuses the power of the anger. Because now you're noticing yourself being angry. So the point of question three, which is, how do you react when you think that thought is designed to get you just thinking about how you feel rather than actually feeling? All right. Question number four is, who would you be without the thought? Who would you be without the thought? The author, Byron Katie says, close your eyes and wait. Imagine yourself just for a moment without the thought. Imagine that you didn't have the ability to think the thought as you stand in the presence of that person or in that situation. What do you see? How does it feel? How is the situation different? List the possibilities for living your life without this concept. For example, how would you treat that person differently in the same situation without the thought? Does this feel kinder inside you? Okay. So there we go. So let's put this in action. Question number four was, who would you be without the thought? So if you didn't have the thought that James is selfish because he forgot the groceries, right? If you didn't, then you would just be thinking, well, James forgot the groceries. And so you see there's a big difference, right? It's like, James forgot the groceries. He's so selfish. Versus James forgot the groceries. Kind of like, oh, well, at the end of it, like, ah, no big deal. I mean, that's another thought. But you could also eliminate that thought. You could just say, the fact, James forgot the groceries. You see, whenever something happens, there's two ways you can react. You can just notice it and go, oh, something happened. It is what it is. That's almost like my favorite saying, it is what it is. Or you can go, oh, my God, that's awful. Oh, yes, that's amazing. So there is, a lot of people say, there is no good and there is no bad, there is only what is. And it's your thinking that makes things good or bad. So what actually happened? Well, James forgot the groceries. So now it's up to you to go, well, I'm either angry and upset. Or I'm just saying factually, James forgot the groceries. And that's it. So the author there, you know, with this fourth question is who would you be without the thought of really trying to get you out of eliminating the feeling of anger or frustration or joy depending on the situation and just looking at it matter of factly. And when you do that, maybe when James actually does forget the groceries, it's just James forgot the groceries instead of James forgot the groceries. The author then goes on and says, do a fifth step. So you've asked yourself these four questions. She calls it turn it around. So she says, write as if the same thing would written about you. When you have written someone's name, put yourself. Instead of he or she put I. For example, James doesn't appreciate me turns around to I don't appreciate James and I don't appreciate myself. Another type is a 180 degree turn around to the extreme opposite. James does appreciate me. For each turn around, find three genuine specific examples of how the turnaround is true in your life. This is not about blaming yourself or feeling guilty. It's about discovering alternatives that can bring you peace. So there you go. Lucky that you're now knowledgeable on the four questions that can change your life. So when I actually do forget the groceries, you don't get angry at me, right? So there you go. Check out that book. Loving what is four questions that can change your life.