 Alright boys, to be honest, I'm sorry about this one. I may have gotten this video idea from YouTube Thoughts. I'm pretty sure this is totally a girl video. I've definitely seen on my training page some chicks doing like assumptions about me. It's always like, I assume you're, I assume you get with all the boys. So I may possibly be completely robbing Thought Video ideas, but not playing Madden, so sue me. Now, I put it on my Instagram story. Let's go find it. Also, let me just say that my Instagram story today was absolutely hilarious. My mom gave like a whole ass monologue about how we shouldn't jewel. All right, update. I don't know if you can hear me. If your pressure gets me and I hit the jewel one time and my peen decreased in size by four inches, worst decision in my life, we'll never do again. That's actually a fact. I never ever hit the jewel because jewel is not cool. Hit it one time, my peen went from five to one, like that. So if you're gonna hit the jewel, be ready. Like, hit the jewel, peen size. You make your own decisions, friends, but it's all I'm saying. She goes on, in case she says something metal gets in your lungs. I know this is a tangent, but she's hilarious. You have to see this. Yeah, sir, I'm trying to eat. Sir's me right. It's just, the band you have it, you get the metals in your lungs and you get the metals. There's so many bad things about it. Like, blockies everywhere. Don't jewel, not cool. Thank you for that, mama. All right, but what this video is about, I told you guys, yeah, I know the pictures really do. She, I'm really sorry. I asked you to send your assumptions of me for a video and we're gonna read what you guys assume about me because I'm a stupid, I'm even sitting on the casting couch like a truth thought. Tell me this doesn't, okay, that's why I put this blanket here because tell me, tell me this ain't the casting couch. Not that I know what that is, nor have I watched literally every single video on it. I might need to sanitize this thing Sticks! Yo, by the way, I get a question about this like every single day because people want my music on Spotify. I haven't, I don't have a lot of good playlists right now but my Spotify account, pretty sure my Spotify account's Matthew Maher. I'll make some playlists for you guys if you want to like listen to certain types of music. People always ask me for this. It's kind of random, but sorry. I need to start this video already. Pretty much only been listening to a lot of Delray though for being honest. All right, I'm gonna be honest. I know that about 90% of these are gonna be talking about my talk. All right, let's read, let's read some assumptions. Guy who pulls absolute thoughts as well as pulling Tory Holtz. You're more chill and calm IRL and act energetic for better videos. Very true, however, I'm kind of a head ass in real life too. Anyone who knows you in real life knows I'm, I'm probably worse. I say a lot stupider and weirder shit which I keep off my videos cause I don't want you all to think I'm just an absolute goobus. This dude is the homie, SR Guest 15. He actually like recreated my merch picture. Recreated the merch picture has the nut button fire dabbed on the rocks like me and Jamieson did in Croatia and hit a mean ass wall. Guy's a stup. This is, if you guys didn't know, if you guys remember Justin Bro, this is his Instagram. Can't PKPVM get an infernal cape or last a full inventory at red cape without dying to PKers? I must say about 95% of you don't get that reference and if you don't that's totally okay but if you do, my OSR ST's names pop up pubes hit me up. Kaylee is your sister. Focusing on me, yes it is. Okay, we're good. Rich White Kid runs a YouTube channel while his parents pay for college. Yeesh, people try to become friends with you because you have clouds. Sometimes I do wonder that, not a lot. But then again I'm like wait, I don't have any friends. So how could they like me for my cloud if I don't have any? Best man YouTuber ever except for your boy pizza blocked. You're absolutely blocked. Rich boy, get those airpods out of. Ah shit, you can't hear me up airpods. Dude, what is this thing with the airpods? Kay, this is dead serious. What is this big old like, why does everyone think someone's clouding up on you if they're wearing airpods? People have been wearing Bose Quiet Comfort headphones. What? And the Beats Studios, Beats Studios are 300 and Bose Quiet Comforts are 300. Airpods are like 180. So I don't know where this thing came from but I always wear those, yeah, you're getting double flexed on at this point but I always wear those Bose Quiet Comforts when I record madness so I can't hear myself. And no one says shit about that. And now I wear airpods one time. Everyone wants. You get peer pressured by your mom to jewel even though it ain't cool. Mom, if you're watching this video, if you ever peer pressure me to jewel again, I don't even know what to say, to be honest. I really don't know what I could say to my own mother but jeweling isn't cool. You were a senior virgin, honestly boys. As much as I may be an absolute unit now. I'm not gonna tell you guys sorry I'm me losing my virginity. Definitely not, that's not appropriate. At least now. But I was pretty close to being a virgin senior year at high school. If that makes you feel any better about yourselves. Actually jewels but says you don't. I would never jewel. 100% tells people after threatening them that my dad is a lawyer. Wanna hear something hilarious? Like dead serious? My dad is actually a lawyer. I would never say this to anyone. I would never say that to someone being serious. But he actually is a lawyer. So that counts for anything. Lightweight? You think I'm 652.45 and a lightweight still? That's not even how it works, bro. I am a total lightweight. I mean I just turned 21 so I just had my first ever sip of alcohol. So obviously I'm a lightweight, right mom? Show this to my mom. Everyone send this to my mom. Alcohol's bad mom? These are so sus. None of these are appropriate enough to read. You act completely different on camera than in real life. This is like vaguely true but vaguely not. It's hard to explain. I think a lot of people assume that YouTubers act different on camera but I don't think you realize how hard it is unless you're literally playing a character. Like you know those people who have a character as they're actually acting as someone else? You don't know how hard it is to be two different people. It would be very difficult for me to be a different person on camera than I am in real life because you can't act for that long especially when you're recording like gameplay videos so I'm very, if you ever meet me in real life I will be pretty damn close to what you see on camera. I promise you. By the way if you ever see me in real life please no matter what I'm doing come say hi. Like some people are kind of weird about that I don't know but like I don't care what I'm doing you can totally come say hi you will not be bothering me. I will gladly like say what's good. Dude the amount of these that say I'm six five, two 45 is unreal. That person who plays basketball and has all the gear but none of the talent. I kind of want to make a one-on-one basketball bed so if any of you are in the Grand Rapids area hit me up. I do not think that you were a kicker. I know it's like the lamest position but it's also the coolest position. You know what I mean? Shout out Destroying by the way. My fucking boy got signed by a legitimate protein. That is the coolest thing ever congratulations bro. That's nuts. You're a Chad who glowed up and became the classic Fred boy. Honestly definitely glowed up in my opinion but I think everybody thinks they glowed up because that's what puberty is supposed to do for you presumably. I don't know if you guys watched the vlog but before I got my ear surgery I had a really bad acne and before the ear surgery I was a corn ball. You will have an IG thought daughter. Honestly that's my biggest fear and please don't ever say that to me again because I am so scared about happening. Dude imagine you are a father and you work so hard with your wife to raise a daughter and then she turns into summer Ray like. I didn't edit for you a long time ago and never heard from you again. Ow Chad hits home. I gotta send you a message I'm sorry man. I assume you boy pizza let you win. Here's the thing guys. You know damn well he was trying just as hard as I was in that game. That was a legit game. Can easily bench 650 pounds. When you're something sad I think right now I'd probably bench more than I could squat. It's real sad. When you are near I quiver in my shoes because my girl's stud sensor just went through the roof. Fuck boys I would never steal your thought. Ever. We're homies now I would never do that to you. I wish she would come back into my life as my father. Bro I'm going to get milk and I will be right back. The milk store was completely out of milk two more years down the road is another milk store. I'll go two years that way get the milk come two years back I'll be back. No I didn't say anything Siri you stupid thought. Smash or pass boy edition. I'll be honest I really wanted to make another smash or pass but now that I am actually working for Pepsi with this internship I feel like it would just not be in my best interest to make a I feel like that's a very inappropriate video and it was funny and I liked making it you know three years ago but I like I feel like that's just not a good idea. Looks happy on the whoa looks happy on the inside but your soul is slowly dying cause you miss Bella. Honestly all of my videos are a massive cry for help. Bella I miss you so I'm gonna cry. Actually that ass she texted me one time she was like hey can you stop talking about me in your videos. I was like come on like I was like come on it's part of my life the whole channel it's a meme now like you signed up for this but I should probably respect that. Well honest YouTuber doesn't hide anything. I just read a legitimate comment that was nice. You secretly steal your mom's jewel at night and hit it. You been spying on me or something dude. That photo was your first time shaving. Bro I can't grow a beard I hate it. I just get this stupid I hate it so much. I want a glistening like oh. You know when they ask you how you are you just have to say that you're fine and you're not really fine but you just can't get into it because. Best YouTuber out there not just Madden. Love you guys. You have stubs for thumbs. Papa is gone. Okay I posted one picture. Why do you guys think my thumbs are. I have regular ass thumbs. I'm so mad about this. I posted one picture where my thumb looked kind of weird at the end. I'm really self conscious about this. My thumbs are normal. Oh brother. What do your thumbs look like. Fightin. I'm actually the type of guy who's E.A. bastard is cheek clever 69. Dude don't hack all my comments. You're gonna be sure but then I realize you're actually 67. The funniest thing is when people do meet me in real life. First thing I would say about 50% of people who have met me in real life go. They go oh you're not 65. Worst story ever oh my god. This is one of the most embarrassing things ever. Okay we all. Okay yes I'm 65 245. Obviously I'm not 65 245 but we get that it's a joke right. Well everyone comments it on my Instagram pictures and girls don't really watch my YouTube. Like girls that I go to school with and go to MSU with. Obviously I don't watch my YouTube channel. I mean like some of them do but like I make this content for you guys. I don't make it for them. Like they watch beauty gurus shit. I was going to Chicago once for Lala Palooza and this girl that I really vaguely knew. I did not know her that well. Said that I could like stop at her house before I went to Lala for like whatever two hours just to like drop all my stuff off cause it's like a four hour drive. That part doesn't matter. Basically I was stopping by this girl's place. I didn't know her that well. And oh this is the worst. I like don't even want to tell this to her it's so embarrassing. She legitimately thought that I was going to be 65. You're insane. Because of all my Instagram comments. And I'm obviously not fucking 65. It was a very, she was like pretty sure the first dude this is the fattest L I probably ever take it. She was the first thing she said to me was like I thought you were super tall. Oh my God. You know I played it off like a champ but if you want to make the 65 jokes do it but if your sisters or anything ever ask let them know I'm not actually 65. To be honest, I don't know you that well but I see you in the hallways at school. Right? Seven. That's fucking funny. You never dated a black chick. Sorry Matt. Not true. Absolutely not true. Totally did. Get wrecked. Do some Dragon Ball C shit for June and July. What does that mean? This guy's assumption is fishing. All white people don't love fishing but I do love fishing. So embrace some stereotypes. My sister is obsessed with you. Mission accomplished boys. I can log on. I feel as if you the type of person to go get milk and actually come back. So I'll say it before. I'm on my way back and give me a few years. All right, I'm ending on this one because this is so cute. The man I aspire to be is at your older. Love you Papa. Adler Johnson, I love you too man. Stay strong. You got this boy. All right boys, you know what? I'm gonna end the video off there. This was a blast. This is what I've been yearning for. I'm feeling a lot better. Didn't have to make a mad video. Didn't have to sit down and get all pissed off about EA doing something to me today. So I'm feeling good. I hope you guys enjoyed this. I'll make tons more content like this. I'm trying to post, I probably won't. But I'm trying to post like five days a week. So if you wanna shoot me some suggestions I would love them because this world of YouTube where I don't make mad videos four days a week is kinda new to me. So the awesome videos and suggestions. But that is it for now. I love you all. Thank you for sticking with me. Despite not posting mad, that is so like, Stay strong. Don't jewel. Get good grades. Get jacked. Get women. That's closing notes. Have fun boys. I love you. Peace out.