 So we're set with that. So this is the second of our editor training series And I'm going to be making this available on YouTube After we're done so that anyone who is unable to attend can view it I Did want to let you know some kind of big news from my end My husband just got a job in Chicago. So I'm going to be moving to Chicago the middle of the next week I'm going to continue on with the foundation But I think that there may be some changes We'll be hiring a content development associate who is going to be handling more of the day-to-day content coordination Issues and For the near-term I'll you know still be working very closely with all of you But this may change as soon as we hire this new individual as they would take on Overseeing all the editing so I just wanted to give you a heads up to that might be a change coming up in the not-so-distant future So let's see I'm going to try to Share my desktop. Can you see what's going on here? Okay? I saw that from Aaron Perfect Okay, so I have opened a brand new philosophy 304 course And I should mention if you guys have any comments or questions Feel free to just ask them to me in the chat pane And I'll try to get to them as quickly as I can and I thought today I just kind of walk you through what I look for when I'm opening a new draft This is a brand new as I said a brand new blueprint from a new consultant So he'll probably take a bit more training than usual The first thing is this shouldn't be here The title is just the title of the course we label all the files themselves by the course titles something minor But it is part of our protocol And then I usually read through the introduction the purpose of course Twice the first time I read through for grammar and mechanical issues And the second time I read through for you know thinking more about issues of tone and audience So I'm not going to bore you by actually Line-editing the whole document here, but I think we should focus just on this Opening paragraph quickly the first thing that stands out to me is obviously this missing space and that there's only one space after each period Those are very easy obvious ones. So for the space after each period I just go to replace Go look for all single spaces and replace with a double And then you just have to look out for any cases where there might have already been two spaces So then I'll go in and look for any instances of okay, so we're none of those. So that's done The other thing I'll say is that I constantly am saving my work because it's very easy to lose track And lose your work So I say that okay, so let's dig into this Existentialism is a philosophical and literary movement popularized after World War two by figures such as John Paul Sarge and Albert Camus in France I think that's a pretty good opener because they quickly identifies what the key term is I'm very averse to passive voice So I don't really like the idea of popularized by but if he doesn't do that very often. I'll probably leave it as is So the roots of this movement, however, are arguable but are arguable but can be traced back either to the religious writings of ways Pascal da da da I don't understand what the however is here because he's not really Saying this in contradistinction to anything previous. So I probably take that out We can be traced back to the religious writings of law. I would probably take out these unnecessary commas Okay common thread that unites existentialists is a focus on existence and Again over comma. So at this point, I know that I'm going to be looking very carefully for an overuse of commas The country I'm like rationalist. All right. There's a typo here. Thinkers like Renee Descartes and JWC and now that I added the Double space you have to be careful about things like periods there. So I Would keep my eyes out for that and I just realized that this of each Individual human being immediately did Let me pause and just see if there have been any comments over here in the window Okay, good point Tina. I see that the spelling out of the centuries good catch So I will Change that There I saw that you were taping as well. So I'll wait to see what you say before I move on So I'm having trouble here Form proper names, do we need to look up accent marks for those? I would generally say yes The more detailed you can be the better In this case, I know that the spelling of these both are correct just because I happen to know that content But I think that's a good point to check up on those Um Yeah So I see if I just saw you. What's mine? Let me open this up. This is a little bit hard to switch between okay Steve it might be helpful to edit that with markup turned on so that everyone can more easily see the extra spaces softer turns etc Would you all like me? I mean, this isn't that's not typically how we actually edit But for this case would that be helpful for everyone to see that? Okay? I'll turn on track changes Let's see if I can move I can zoom in anymore. This can you guys see that better? Okay, perfect. All right, so let's get back to this Okay, so I think we were okay unlike rationalist thinkers like Renee Descartes and J. W. Hegel GW Hegel Existentials reject the claim that human beings are merely rational thinking creatures again the overuse of comma Existentials thus look at human experience in its totality It includes consideration of okay. This is one of my biggest headpiece When we have a pronoun with an unclear antecedent I think that here you could be it could refer to human experience, but I think He's obviously referring to existentialism. So I would probably leave him a comment and just say can you clarify? I Verify the antecedent Just look at the human experience in its totality if he's saying Existentialism includes consideration of the human beings body social space the role of freedom Human anxiety about death God or the absence of God. So this laundry list is already confusing to me since it's not really I Constructed in a way that I mean for example the human beings body social space the role of freedom For me it seems like you're saying the human beings body the human beings social space the human beings the role of freedom so I would probably just invert this so consideration of Social space Human beings body the role of freedom human anxiety about death God and I would probably merge these two God or the absence of God and the very human suspicion that we have been thrown into a World that we did not create and everything which that thought entails Um This is fine. The only thing I think I would I mean it's a really hefty sentence but So I that kind of gives me a pause But I'm going to keep going and see if you know on reflection of looking at this overall Introduction if I think it makes sense The only thing I would say is I don't really like the phrase existentialism includes consideration of I would probably encourage him to put considers Just to avoid unnecessary Verbage Let's move on in this course we will take a historical look at the existentialism event So this is to me like a new thought he's kind of Zooming back out to the high level so I might interrupt this and put it in a separate paragraph We'll take a historical look at the existentialist movement. We'll look at this is a repetition of the phrase look at So I'd probably say we will study the work of All these names okay, and Sarah yes at this point I would probably spend a little bit of time like looking up on you know Just googling to make sure that these funds are all correct. I would also encourage him to put since he uses some First names and some just last names that I would Well, let me make sure this little oh I would make that the pattern here Okay, and then this can be part of this paragraph since it's still talking about oh, do I have a message on here Let me see Okay, Susan. Should we change we will to you will we was not grad blah blah blah yep I am completely in agreement with that Let's change that aspect We will oh You know We will is fine. I The only thing that I'm really we will and you will is fine The only thing that I would change in this phrase is as such successful completion of course means that this should be you We should never be referring to the students because we're trying to make a personal connection with all of our students here So we want to make sure that any time you can directly address the student and his or her experience you are So I would just change that portion, but we will is perfectly fine I actually think that That can be almost more encouraging to students. Let me pause and see what Sarah said How do you make the call between whether to suggest the consultant make a change or just doing it yourself? The consultant seems like a pretty good writer, but I'm editing something right now where I'm not sure efficiently So Sarah that's a great question. I'm it honestly takes time to figure out what the ins and outs of each consultant is like I Tend to air more on the side of changing what I think needs to be changed up front as opposed to you know As long as you know, it's not impacting the meaning. I Encourage you to take that on yourself If you get the sense of the writers particularly good, you might have said flag it and mention it and Leave it to them, but I tend to err on the side of correcting things myself and improving things myself But that's a really good question and it can be a hard judgment call Okay, so successful completion of the course means That You will be able to recognize the manner in which existentialism is reaction and at times rejection Okay, already the sentence has lost me. So you will be able to recognize the manner in which Existentialism is reaction. So I think that's a really confusing phrase So I would probably just flag the rest of this sentence rejection and Leave a comment. I would probably say the phrasing here gives me pause The construction existentialism is reaction and at times Rejection of Feels vague Lossy to me in a way that may alienate confused students So I would probably just flag that and ask him are is there a way to reframe All right, and note that I'm constantly saving my work. I just did it again Okay, and then most importantly I would just take that out and say you Upon come well, let's see. We want to make sure that they still preserve the idea that upon completion So let's see that that makes sense a such successful completion of the course means that you will be able to blah blah I think that's fine. I think that still preserves the idea that upon completion Students will be able to demonstrate certain things. So most importantly, you will be able to recognize What existential thinkers have contributed to our understanding of human existence and the humans place in the period So let's think back on this more broadly. I'm I think that this is actually a pretty solid introduction I think he identifies the term the key term He brings up the key figures and you get a sense that we're going to be approaching this by looking at key thinkers in the movement from historical vantage I Think he identifies the principal goals So I think this overall is a very solid introduction and I don't think that I would change much Again, once he's I passed this back for this first round of edits once he's clean this up And you see what it looks like after he has improved certain aspects It may be that I go back and say, you know on second look I think that you need to tease out the term existentialism or you know this package of You know Students will be looking at human experience and its totality and then considering all of these different concepts That feels like a lot that we're packing in I might ask him to tease that out a little bit more But on this first pass, I'm just trying to make sure that the major components are in place So let me pause and check for comments Okay, Sarah. Oh, no, okay. All right. We're all good. Does anyone have any questions right now before I go back to the Okay, Sarah to go back to the you versus the student, but do we use you even for learning outcomes? I remember that being the one instance where I kept student. Yes. This is bizarre. I know but we Because we've built so many courses and we are using the student construction and the outcomes We have preserved that because we don't want to have to go back and change every single one I know that's a little bit inconsistent, but that is have just been the protocol we've used But at everywhere else Sarah we should be using you Thanks, Sarah Okay, let's move on to learning outcomes Upon successful completion of this course the student will be able to This is minor but I always Change this to Periods which is the standard way that we do this in all of our courses. I've also already noticed a few indentation issues So I go through it in practice At this point, I usually take a look if this is the first time I'm opening a blueprint I'll go back here at this point to see the Course design worksheet. So let me minimize this briefly and go Here, let me blow this up. Hold on Can you guys see that okay? Um, at this point, I'll kind of take a look. I See he's thought about this a bit. I know is obviously already a problem As a key action item for learning outcomes It's really hard to assess whether a student quote-unquote knows something. So we try to aim for more concrete measurable outcomes like Identify list differentiate between Those types of you know, very easy to assess action items All right, so I'm going to scroll down and take a look at First of all, I kind of glance and make sure he's actually done his homework to see What some others how some others have approached the challenge of course design I noticed here that he put my name. So I'm thinking that this might be an error So I'll probably ask him a question about that As far as I know, I don't teach a course at Yale Okay, looks like he's done his homework Has some good ideas of who he wants to address on some good resources and this is Something we can look at more closely once we come into the pairing portion Okay, so it looks like he's really thought through the different outcomes he likes students to meet And he's focusing on knowledge so content recall analysis and evaluation And you can see as this handy little You know level related List of outcomes so I can see that he's really tried to tie these to different goals He has for his students, which is great So with that in mind revisiting this I can see that he's really put some thought into these which is great I do think The idea of appraising the value of existentialism in modern society is a very tall order. So I Think I would probably flag these And mention that them these feel like tall orders to me, how do we Assess this type of appraisal this type of thinking Are there more specific action items we can add here to make this more measurable? And I think just flagging those and indicating what your concerns are fine You don't need to be take on the onus of actually coming up with what a revised outcome might be Sometimes it just I mean he seems like a very bright guy. So I'm sure he'll come up with some alternative So let's take a look. So identify is a great one I think that's obvious you can imagine how you would assess that recognize the basic tenants This is a little bit dice here. I might ping him a little bit on this and say what specific assessment Do you have in mind for this one? Just to see what he says he could very well have a very good idea of how to assess this But I would ask differentiate seems practical. You can imagine a student Picking you know having to answer a short answer It's selecting a multiple choice that indicates which approach relates to which different Philosophies so I think more or less those are okay Okay, and I'm not going to go through each and every single unit below because we would be here for quite a bit Let me pause and see if there have been any other comments Anyone else have a question before I skim through the rest? Okay, good So I'm not going to go through all the pros here, but I'll just tell you when I'm looking at this very quickly what stands out to me I might ask him to be a little bit more. Well, let's see if he names all of his units after okay, so he's organized all of these units by Thinker which is fine So I was going to say if they weren't all organized by thinker I might try to have him at a tail that explains why blaze is so important here But since he doesn't that's fine Just in a brief skimming of this this these phrases stick out to me as being You know finitude and contingency are kind of big loaded terms that need some sort of gloss So this quickly directs my attention These Floss I would flag that very quickly The other thing that that phrase sticks out to me is that it seems like the rest of his crows is very approachable But this seems very high level So honestly that that kind of change in tone sometimes it makes me wonder and this is you know I don't mean to be offensive to anyone especially not the author But sometimes when I see a quick change in tone like this I'll wonder if this wasn't kind of pulled from another article or something So I might just do a quick Google and look you know copy this phrase and Look at it on Google and see if it shows up in any article. I won't do that now But if it you know shows up in Wikipedia for example, then I would flag that and tell me need to change it So I would keep my eye out for any kind of changes in tone Okay, so let's finish skimming through this obviously, I always take a look at anything that Appears, you know that Microsoft Word tags is incorrect grammar. I think that that was that's fine But those quickly attract my eye Concease is the name of a work and it needs to be Set apart as such I also I'm not going to go through this But I see a ton of comments and at commas in this last couple of lines I would read that very carefully to avoid over comma use because we already identified that as a problem area in the beginning And then here I would again Change this to appear as I like it to appear Go through and manually edit that Okay, I'm not going to do all that Here and then I would again spend some time thinking about how each of these might be assessed Define that's fine recognize that I might flag again and say You know how specifically do you imagine assessing this? Do you mean listing? Do you mean, you know? Identifying do you mean explaining? Recognize can mean so many different things Analyze is another hard one But I know that one of his key focuses in his course design worksheet was analysis, so I Might be okay with that But I would probably in my global feedback to him in my email mentioned, you know You how do you envision assessing this? Do you imagine adding, you know critical thinking essays? And kind of just make sure he has that in the back of his mind This would probably need to be in quotation marks because I think that that's like a phrase that should be set apart Otherwise, who knows a weight this wager is Assessed as a good one. That's fine Except for assess the value of that that gives me pause So that kind of gets back to his whole emphasis on appraising assessing and analysis I'd really push him in my global feedback to Think through assessment strategies for these types of global and higher level thinking skills. I know that these are important Sorry, let me pause. I just saw a note from Aaron Does it seem odd that 1.1 is an overview of Essentials and yes, let's get to that quickly Yes, that would flag my attention I would probably say This seems misplaced you want to put this as a pre unit You know just have a and that's something we can do even before you get to unit one We have something called a pre unit so you can put important key touchstone readings there So I probably say bring that up. I won't type it all out here, but I'll say should this be Presented in a pre unit before the actual units begin The other thing that flies my attention is all of these need to be in title case One of the things I notice a lot is that we often forget to put is in the title case because I think it looks like in or Something like that and is it should be in the title case Founders And I actually think you can already tell he's looking at these little pieces of content in a very detailed Organized way and I really like it I Like the idea that he has this primary Point on just providing the definition who is included this feels like a little bit of a vague title to me so I might add in existentialism or And then may or maybe flag it and say is there any way you can make this more specific? And I probably add the founders of existentialism I know this is very detail oriented But our goal here is to be as granular as we can be so that if a student is just randomly pointed or routed to our site from another site say Teacher says go to one point one point three of sailor dot orgs philosophy three or four We want them to know immediately what the subject is So I am always for drilling down very to a very detailed level in these headings Pascal's life This is fine to me. The pond says part one a portrait of a man again. These would all need to be in title case I think that this is the title of a work. So I would ask him on that and say, you know title of a work if so it should be quotations if an article and Alex it's a book The heart has its reasons Again, is that a title? I would probably flag all of these and just say are these portions of the Ponce's or you know Ask him for clarity if they are they should be kind of more clearly labeled as such Okay, Pascal's wager and I would probably flag this and say do you mean this specifically with regards to Pascal or Are you zooming back out To a global level here if the latter you need to make that transition clear or maybe include it in the pre-unit All right, I'm going to pause. Do you have any other questions at this point? Can you all still hear me and see everything well enough? Good, okay, great um, okay so I don't know. Would you guys like me to keep going through one additional unit or Do you kind of have a sense? I feel like I've flagged sort of the major things that that I'm kind of noticing right off the bat But would it be helpful to go through an additional unit? Yeah, sarah. I think we're just going to talk about blueprints. Um, and what I look at first we can do a different editing training on pairing if that's helpful Okay, I'm going to go briefly through one last unit just so we Can have the full experience. Um Okay So one thing I look at quickly is that I noticed that in the blaze Pascal he did include the dates after the The figure's name, so that's great that he's carried that through here And I might do a quick glance through and make sure he's done that for everyone so that we have consistency And I can think of this while I'm doing this looks like he has Which is great Which makes me think that he is very thoughtful in the way he's approached this Okay, so he has done that but that's just one of the things that you know, if you see something done in two units You should make sure it's done throughout Okay I'm just skimming through this This phrase already like all good things in life kierkegaard Like all good things in life appears to be modifying kierkegaard, which doesn't make sense. So that's a quick flag This appears to modify kierkegaard Can we move this to Believes that face Like all good things in life And I would just flag that because I may have misinterpreted that Hold on. Let me see what I have. I see there's some messages. Let me pause The hyphen and a number range should be end-to-end. I tend to think about that since nobody does it I would again defer to the CMS So, I mean, I don't think any detail like that's too small to change Um, and thanks for catching that. Obviously, I miss things too as well. So I would definitely change that throughout. Let's see I'm reading through this sorry that there's a silence on my end Makes one a subject So here I already am feeling like I'm not clear on what A subject means if he means a subject to god um I might ask him to tease that out a bit Explain. So I said the term subject feels ambiguous and unexplained here Is there any way to rewrite this to be a bit clearer? Um I like that he's referring to unit seven here I like when they whenever they make references to other portions of the course I feel that it sort of builds a coherence and consistency between units So that's great. And I would say I would applaud that This is great the more cohesion and connectedness that you can emphasize between units better So he's saying using the term students here again So At this point, I might go back up to the very opening and make a note that You know, you'll see that I've changed students to you throughout this Please make sure that you're addressing the student and I probably also indicate that in my commentary to him in my email This stands out to me because why are fear and trembling and quotation marks? Is that a common phrase? So I'd probably ask him that I'm not clear on why these are in quotation marks. Is this a common phrase? Use in philosophy Any thoughts on this front? Notions such as the notion. Yes, you're right Of absurdity. Okay. Great. Good job, Tina. Thank you You will be able to Appraise so I change all of that. Oh, okay. I see here fear and trembling is a work So this needs to be clarified here In some ways, so I might adjust this comment and say I assume you're referencing Kierkegaard's work But I think that this needs to be made a little bit more transparent somehow. So I probably adjust that comment Um I think that we are we will have already addressed the issue with a praise and assess in my global feedback So I I probably would just Leave that as it is here okay Down into the subunits again, all of this would need to be in title case and I would take that on yourself as the editor Think This is all fine the term pseudonym seems kind of random here to me, but I think I'm assuming that it will be covered by All the readings here, but it might flag my attention in a later draft And I might say it might be good to reference what you mean by the pseudonyms um And also fear and trembling I might you know ask him maybe since this appears to be such a consistent theme throughout you know, it's listed in The intro So stood in as a work in the learning outcomes. It's listed here I might indicate that maybe you should mention this as a key work at some point in the intro The rest of this seems okay Tina, let me I see you just left a comment hold on Should say the student not you You see that Yep, you are correct Again, be careful of the double periods I missed another comment You are right Yep, okay Upon successful completion of this unit So obviously we need to spend time looking at how each of these is formulated And I apologize for moving so quickly through this, but I'm glad that that flagged your attention I might at this point just check to make sure he has okay So he's done this kind of made the same or comparable mistakes throughout So I would probably at this point go through and edit each of them to make sure that they're consistent Okay, and again Watch out for the double space that we changed Okay So I probably as I move so quickly through the second unit, but I um Just want to wrap this up kind of quickly because I have to jump on another phone call um But I wanted I hope that um, I pointed out some major issues that you know right off the bat flag my attention without even having Really gone through this with a fine tooth comb um It's also I just want to you know emphasize that usually when I'm editing I read through For example a unit introduction and it's foaming outcomes all together and correct for grammar first Then I loop back and think about it from the student perspective Think about you know, if there is an area that really confused you or you know As I said, you know where they use big loaded terms and you might be totally thrown off Flag those and encourage them to be lost and detailed um Okay, I just was checking to see if there are any other questions Does anyone have any other questions before we wrap this up? I realized I kind of started to talk at the speed of light towards the end and rush through it So I'm sorry about that. Um Aaron I see you're typing. So wait to see what you have to say Oh, just a thank you. That's great. Um Well, I hope this was helpful to everyone. Um I can see that I could probably spend a couple hours going through a single blueprint with you guys and really teasing it out but I thought it would be just as useful um to Just indicate on quickly reading through this on the spot What things really set stand out to me and what I'm really most concerned in I hope I drove home the point that I'm mainly concerned about You know, sort of the accessibility of the pros if as you know, all of us are adults with Um impressive degrees and we are very good writers. So if something seems off to us or confuses us You better believe it will confuse and you know, a college student or maybe a college student that's seeking remedial help So we need to really start to make these as clear and cogent and as accessible as we can make them And the other thing obviously is making things consistent across the board and adhering to the Chicago manual of style So I would really Emphasize those kind of three points as the main things I look for Um, no problem. Thanks for all the thank yous. Um, we can definitely do trainings on other types of content If this time seems to work pretty well for most of us I'm happy to continue to do these at the outset of each week I think it's an hour well spent And it's a good time for you guys to raise any concerns and remind me of what it's like to be on the ground and editing So this has been helpful to me as well um Okay, great. Well, the next editor training will be this upcoming Monday at 11 a.m. And it's going to be on Moodle So maybe we can err into your point kind of merge a session on editing exams with a session on how Moodle works So that we can really get into the nitty-gritty or the exam development And I'll send out a reminder about that as well Okay, are there any other questions before we wrap up? Okay, great Thank you guys so much for tuning in today and