 It's about Like the analogy that we use at daygame.com is like how a fashion designer Or a photographer would talk to models at a photo shoot Now the fashion designer walks into a room full of models. He's not gonna go. Wow, you look amazing You know, you look you're so stunning. He's gonna walk around. He's gonna be like, yeah, you look good You look nice. Yeah, I like that. That's good. And that's that's kind of the vibe that we That we teach at daygame.com. Yeah, it's it's it's being relaxed. It's not investing too much because You know to You go up to a girl you've never met her before and you just start piling up on all this stuff onto her all this pressure saying you're so Amazing, you know, you're gorgeous. You're beautiful. It's too much. It's too much. And as soon as you start doing that your value Starts to drop with women. It's gonna you really want it to be like this You want to have the value and she's down here And with a lot of girls as soon as you approach them, especially English girls The value is gonna be like this with foreign girls It's a bit different if they're in if you meet a foreign girl in London You already have a lot of value in her eyes, but with an English girl. It's level pegging immediately It's level pegging so going up to her and putting her on a pedestal and saying like, oh, you're so stunning. I love you It's too much. It's too much low investment Okay, and this is this is something that's really common me and Tom see it all the time. It's probably the most common mistake That a student will make and that's approval seeking now approval seeking it permeates through The whole approach and it manifests itself in a few different ways. So things like voice tone. This is the biggest one voice tone When you meet someone and you don't know them You want to you basically want them to like you you want to Create rapport with them. So naturally as human beings what we do is we make Our voice tone go up at the end of a sentence. So I saw you I think you look really nice It's like saying to her You know, I don't want to offend you I think you look really nice I'm a little bit scared So I'm gonna just play it safe You've got to be you've really got to watch your voice tone when you talk to women You need to be talking to them in a way that I'm talking to you guys now your voice tone should be level It's really really common. It's it's just and I think it's something that's innate to just us as human beings with with The English language other languages. I don't know but it's this way of talking to people where It's like how if you imagine Okay, when I used to work I used to work at Telecoms and media company and whenever the boss of the whole company was around you listen to how people talk to him They're just kissing his ass approval seeking the voice tone the things they're saying that's kind of how I see it in my head so When you go up to this hot girl and you start approval seeking with her like an approval seeking means you want her approval You're saying I want you to like me. Please like me You're what you think is more important than what I think it's more important than me The moment you do that she like a stunning girl. She gets that all the time. She gets guys being nice to her kissing her arse all day long, you know, so things like Smiling too much You know if you notice in that the video when she's talking. I'm not smiling. I've got a straight face Saying things like oh cool. Oh wow Everything she says You know, it's like you're not even listening to what she's saying You know, she says I'm on holiday. Oh fantastic, you know She's like but I don't know whatever but I love Spain. Oh, yeah, great. I love Spain as well Yeah, I'm a I'm a serial killer. Fantastic serial killer. It's like see what I mean You're not listening to what she's saying and we I see this all the time with students There's like this auto reaction to just say okay. Oh interesting. Wow everything. She says don't do it. I Mean you saw on the video when she's talking and I'm listening to her. I'm just standing there and Okay Okay Yeah, yeah, yeah voice tone flat. There's no No approval seeking whatsoever Trying too hard again. This goes back to the the attraction thing Leaning in trying too hard trying too hard to make it like you All these things are just gonna do the opposite to what you want. It's kind of counter-intuitive It's something that I had to learn the hard way because I made the mistakes of doing these things It's like you go up to someone and you want to make them like you so you start doing all these approval seeking things But what you'll get is the opposite women are gonna be up the like repelled At you not attracted to you So approval seeking is a really really important one as I said, it's probably that the the most common mistake that I see on boot camps So just watch out for it voice tone smiling too much Saying things like oh cool. Oh wow at what she's saying. Just shut up. Don't say it. Just okay That's all you need to say. Okay. Yeah And Yeah leaning in too much and trying too hard Okay, so leaning in that leads me into the next thing I want to talk about which is body language and eye contact Now these are really really important So to begin with when you when you're learning this stuff You're gonna be a bit in your head and when you're talking to a girl You're gonna be standing in front of her and you're gonna be thinking right What should I be doing with my hands? What should I be doing with my legs? Where should I be looking? Yeah But eventually what will happen is it will all become natural as you become this confident guy That's comfortable talking to women. You'll start to adopt relaxed body language So what you need to do is get out there get over your anxiety and just keep doing it and doing it and doing it Until you become this this relaxed guy So the way that I I generally stand when I'm talking to girls is kind of like this So it's not head-on. It's I've Put my weight on one leg. I lean back a little bit. I could put my arms here I could have my arms by my side so I could have my arms in my pocket And it's kind of like a very relaxed could take it or leave it I could turn around and walk away at any minute. It's that kind of that's the vibe that you're looking for You don't want to be like