 I hate like, I hate fighting. People say, I know you don't, I really do. And I know you, maybe a lot of people don't believe me, but I'm going to try and explain the best I can. In every jobs, there is no perfect job. Do you agree that there's no perfect job that you like every, everything about it? It's impossible. My job as a professional athlete and mixed martial art on 365 days, I fight, normally when I was very excited, I used to fight twice a year approximately. Not more than that. I never wanted to more than that because I wanted to stretch, especially when you want to stretch when you're a champion because it's better for advertising also for longevity and everything. So more time, more money, more business wise and everything and longevity. So about twice a year, in 365 days, there's two days that I hate the most. It's the day that I'm fighting. It's freaking unbearable. The feeling of uncertainty that if you don't know if you're going to be humiliated, you're going to be the victor, we're going to be the loser. It's, I care so much about it. That is freaking unbearable. As much as I try to dismiss it, it's unbearable. However, I like the fact that I'm a free man. I'm my own boss. I do whatever, whatever, whatever I have. I have access to certain things like VIP stuff that most people don't, my quality of life, the money, I didn't have it before, now I do. I love my job. I'm very happy about my job. But there is thing about my job that I hate the most is fighting. I freaking hate. I love the study of fighting. I love the science of it. How I'm the tactical, the physical. I love to train. I love to walk in a room and feel strong. I know if something happened, I'm the man. Even though it's an illusion because with a bullet and nobody's faster than this. But I like that lifestyle. I do it for the lifestyle, for what it is. I don't do it for the fight. I freaking hate to fight. I had this talk with Rory McNullo at one point. I was like, hey, why do you like fighting? Oh, I guess I like to fight. He said, you like to fight? He's like, fuck no, I don't like to fight. And everybody in the room turn around and they look at me like I'm crazy. I'm like, you guys are all crazy. You think I like to fight in a cage and a million of people maybe get humiliated, knocked out or die? Are you crazy? I don't like to fight. Are you nuts? I like to win. When you win, the feeling is unbelievable. It's so good that it's worth this. Yeah. But I hate it, man. Do you hate the day of the fight up until the fight? But once the fight starts, how do you feel? Once it starts. When it starts, it's gone. All this is gone. All the anticipation's gone. I like, I hate the day. The build up. The day. You're dead. And the closer I get to the day, I start, I love it, but I start to hate it more. It's like a build, I hate that build up, like a bubble of hate. And by the time that it's time to freaking walk out, there's like the many second that it's time to walk out and like Bert Watson used to be the guy who used to kick out the door. Sir Pierre, are you ready? No, he's not there anymore. Unfortunately, I used to like Bert, he used to give me the- We rollin', we rollin', bubble. So, I used, it's like a bubble that built up in my stomach that hate, hate, hate, and I freaking hate. I'm even in the locker room before the fight and I fucking hate it. My last fight, it's crazy. I saw my friend, Eamon, got knocked out and I go at the dinner. Everybody is like dead people like this. And I see something is wrong, I say, what's wrong? And they told themself before I get in the room, don't tell them that Eamon lost, don't tell him he's gonna affect him. So I get in the room and my friend Eddie, who wasn't there when they tell each other, first thing he says to me is like in the room, he's like, hey, Eamon lost. I'm like, oh, he's okay physically? He's like, yeah, it's okay. And everybody's like, holy shit. So Eamon lost. I remember Joe Defilas, Mickey Gall lost. So I go in my locker room. I see one guy with the ice bag. The other guy is all fucked up like this. And I'm like, man, all my locker room lose, man. Holy shit. I freaking hate this job, man. Then I'm thinking is like, everybody tried to make me take like, oh, it's gonna be good. It's one of my agents like, don't worry, it's gonna be fine. It's like, it's okay, man. Don't talk to me like this. I choose be here. I'm a warrior. So go sit now. It's gonna be fine. Like I want to be a warrior. I don't want to be like. You don't want to talk to them. Yeah. Oh, it's gonna be fine. Don't worry. How the fuck do you know? They go like this. Yeah. How the fuck do you know? Like when I put my news the first time, they go like this guy. They grab me like, don't worry, Joe. It's gonna be fine. They look at each other like. Like he's fine. He was slamming everybody on his head. Holy shit. I'm feeling like I'm going to like a cemetery. Like someone just died. So I'm in the locker room. Everybody freaking lose. I'm like, damn. Then I'm like, shake it up. I go in the bathroom by myself. I go, I go look myself in the mirror. And that's why I do before the fight. I use James Lange theory. James Lange is a, they say that the spirit can dictate your mind. They say you thirsty. Your mind tells I'm thirsty. You grab the water and your spirit can dictate your mind. But your mind can dictate your spirit. So I go in the bathroom, close the door. People think I go to bathroom to piss or whatever, but I don't close the door. And I say, now I see a lot of negative shit. I go in front of the mirror. I say to myself, I say, try to convince myself. Like a kid, you know, like, I'm the greatest. I'm the strongest. And I think of it, look at me and I'm this. I'm beautiful. I'm strong. I'm this. I'm faster. I'm stronger. I'm gonna win. It's like these young guys, they lose, but I'm gonna show them the way to do it. Maybe they fail, but I won't. I'm gonna show everybody how it should be done. So I come back in the gym with the glory to show them that I achieve it and that's how it should be done. They're gonna follow me. So I try to boost myself. Open the door, go back. I still hate my job, but I'm a different person than when I got in the door. So I play with mind games like this with myself all the time. It's stuff that I try to change your attitude. And it's very important for a fighter because the confidence is a key for a fighter. Some guy, they do stuff very basic in a fight, but they do it, when they do it, they do it so good that they believe in it. They don't hesitate. And you have no room for hesitation in a fight. You go 100% and when you go 100% with confidence, that's when the magic can happen. You know what I mean? If you have the skills, but you don't have the confidence is John says that you have the skills and you have no confidence. It's like having money and you don't spend it. That's what John Daenerys told me. But if you have the confidence without the skills, it's not good too. It's like a dream that cannot be achieved. You don't have any way together, but if you have both, that's when the magic can happen. I remember when John says that to me all the time. So you have the skill and you have the confidence. And confidence is not a choice. Confidence is not a state of mind is a choice, man. You can build it in your head when something bad happened, you build it and work. Try to work on your person to build it. This is something you can work on yourself, you know? And that's why I've been doing. Yeah, it's like all these other things you're saying, there's no one answer to how all this is done. All those pieces have to come together. All those pieces have to be together in order for you to be able to just go out there and do it. But I love the fact that you say that you don't like it. I freaking hate it, man. I hate it probably even in the locker room when I got there that night. Like every other night that I'm finding, ask my agent, ask given for us. I always tell my look and I'm like, so what the hell I'm doing here? What the fuck, I'm so stupid. I should have, oh my God. And we always laugh at it because now it become at the point that I know it. People say, with experience, do you become more courageous? Do you become, how do you say, do you lose the fear? You don't lose the fear, you never lose the fear. You learn how to deal with it. You accept it. Before I did not accept it. In my earlier fight, like Matt used, my first time I fought Matt used, I was fighting this monument, this, oh my God. I didn't sleep for the week, man. I came like a freaking zombie. I was like, oh my God. Like even in the start down, I couldn't even look at him. I look up like this. It was like I couldn't imagine myself. I knew I was going to lose. The confidence was not there. The skill was not the confidence. So it's very important, the confidence. For a fighter, confidence is very important. That's why you have guys in the gym that are very good in the gym. They get into a fight. They shitty fighter. They king in the gym. They go in to fight. All that stuff crush them. You have guys that are normal in the gym. I've seen guys in UFC, they fight in UFC. They're freaking bad. I can't say for their respect, but I spar with them and they suck. When they fight, they do stuff that it's amazing. I'm like, I didn't even know it. That wasn't his repertoire of technique that he just did a kategatami or something. I'm like, man, it's amazing. I didn't even know he knew that because of confidence, man. And when you have both the skill and the confidence, like you see like John Jones, man, his magic, man. You go there, spinning freaking elbows and stuff. Like you don't hesitate, he goes, man. Yeah, Roderick is amazing. Like bam, and stuff like that. He's just beautiful to watch, you know? And I really like that. The new generation, man, is carry as hell. Oh my God.