 Hey everybody, let me tell you something. Let me tell you something My name is Donald Trump I'm Donald Trump. I'm running for president and don't you ever forget that? My rallies are the largest I have the most supporters and I blow away all the other Candidates because I'm Donald Trump. I'm the master of the entire universe We just put that in your pipe and smoke it. I am going to win because I'm a winner I I love winning. I'm used to winning all the time. I'm I will win and I am in the Progressive discussions podcast mega like 21 studio to visit these guys And I'm here with undercover bob On the cover bob. How are you today? Okay, Donald Trump is speaking to you. I won't let you kiss my hand this time But maybe the next time you'll have to kiss my feet But I'll I'll let you go this time. Let me tell you something That Ted Cruz he looks just like grandpa monster Grandpa monster with that pointy needle nose That religious nut Donald Trump is the master of the universe. Don't you ever forget it? and uh Hey Over those protesters get out of here. Get them out of here. I like the puncher right in the face Get them out of here. We don't tolerate protesters of my rally. Go on get out of here Get them out. Get them out of here Get them out of here. Hey you Get out of here protesters. I'll punch you right in the face. Get them out of here. Get them out of here Oh That donald trump. I'll tell you That donald trump by golly. He's He's a character. He's a character. But anyway, he had to leave. He had to go to lunch um undercover bob How are you? I'm good Say hi to your fans out there. Hi. This is undercover bob How's everybody doing? All right, hopefully good. I'm james p madonna. Welcome to the studio here We are back with uh, the renaissance man can create an undercover bob Uh, this is our second Of video our second visit. It's an unexpected visit this fine sunday afternoon It is the end of march 2016 and the weathermen The weather people are full of shit undercover bob. They predicted we were going to get a few inches of snow In our area here in northeastern new jersey, and I don't see any snow at all. I see nothing but sunshine and clear skies Yeah, I I you know undercover bob I think being a weather person is the perfect job in the world because You know, you dress up you joke around you smile a lot and you could be wrong every time right Quite often these guys and these women are wrong and they just blame it on nature A national weather bureau they get their information. So what are they paid for honestly? You know what I'm saying? Um, all right Did you know undercover bob? that the bacteria That causes body odor on humans, you know smelly armpits Is uh, which is called brevy bacteria. Do you know this is the same bacteria used in making limberger cheese in germany? Oh, I know something Isn't that amazing that the same bacteria that makes your armpits stink is made Is used in making limberger cheese. How about that? now The other day Being that we're having crazy climate change the other day was cold a few days ago. I actually were cold. I made split pea soup with smoked pork cock pork cock now I have a problem With this ingredient because people have trouble pronouncing it If I call it split pea soup with smoked pork cock or pig cock pig hawk Say say split pea soup soup with smoked pork cock split pea soup with pork cock It sounds obscene doesn't it a little bit now say split pea soup with smoked pig cock split pea soup with smoked pig cock Now it sounds like you're talking about the pig's dick, right? I guess so but it's not it's not cock. It's hot But if you say if you put those words together It sounds obscene. Yeah, so I don't know what to call it because you know people look at me Give me dirty looks when I mentioned it. I made a big pot of split pea soup with smoked pork cock Pig cock pork cock um now If you were my question to you undercover bob, uh, if you were having sex with a a beautiful young swimsuit model And uh, you were doing uh 69 position And she farted in your face. Would you continue to have sex with her or would you like throw her out? Throw her out Even if she's like a sports illustrated Beautiful young swimsuit model. You would still throw her out of the apartment You would stop having sex If she farted in your face Yeah, like you were doing 69 not not 68, which is uh, she does you and miles per hour Yeah, no 68 would be she does him and and and she and neo's the one that would be 68 But 69 so you you would stop having sex regardless how beautiful she was If she farted in your face, okay. All right Now I have an there's an observation that I have And this observation is when I take a shower And let's say I wash really good And I even wash my asshole Regardless how well I washed My body and my asshole A few hours later the asshole Goes back to stinking Like hell Not the rest of the body the armpits are fine The crotch is fine The balls are fine You know because I wash really good Even though the balls do get sweaty underneath the balls, you know, you got to sometimes add some pink bun balls Pink bun sometimes you got to add some You know medicaid of powder goldbond, whatever All that's uh, mr. Ken create in the background. How you doing Kenny? Yeah Yeah James I think you need a bar to open your mouth man. No, no, no, this is reality. This is uh, this is real life So what I'm trying to say is It's bizarre That the asshole starts to stink It's such a short amount of time after you wash it You know you go and touch it you smell your finger and it's gross So and I just Sulked the hell out of it and rinsed the hell out of it a few hours earlier so You figure it out I mean, I don't know you have any explanation for such a phenomena Not really except to say that those bacteria are stubborn They must be very relentless, right? Oh, sorry Very relentlessly stubborn. But anyway, I am going to um Depart momentarily and um From what I understand the renaissance man can't create Is going to join you Okay, so stand right here and in the next segment You will Be blessed With the presence And and and a talent and wit intelligence of the one and only the renaissance man can create along with It could be undercover bob or It could be another visitor From the north woods uh, um A creature that was a thought to not exist But I think This will prove that he exists All right Greetings everyone greetings We're back I'm james p madonna In the uh progressive discussions of mega life 21 and mayhem studios And I like to introduce you to my pet Land shrimp his name is shrimpy Say hi shrimpy. Hi, how are you? How's everybody? I'm okay See shrimp he's not a shy shrimp You know, he just uh, he smells of ammonia A little bit but then again, so to see him and you know, and the guy blows us a little bit Anyway, uh, uh, you know how it is with the shellfish So shrimpy, uh Uh, do you uh, is it true that uh That shellfish cross uh, you were crustacean number one. Yeah, I'm a crustacean Is it true that shellfish are high in cholesterol? They're full of shit. All the doctors are full of shit. Don't believe it All right, shrimpy says uh Yeah, for those of you that don't believe in shrimpy Fuck these bastards if they don't believe I exist come right here you motherfuckers All right You understand that you cock suckers? Shrimpy is for real All right All right, shrimpy um Oh, I forgot my lucky black thorn chilelli Fuck your chilelli stick it up your ass I'm going to introduce Can create the renaissance man. Kenny boy. Come back come over Hey, come over there. Come on Ricky Hey renaissance man, huh? What a fuck you get that name from? Hey, be nice be nice to our special guest Okay, I will So renaissance man um Don't listen to shrimpy's comments Uh, he's a little constipated his diet hasn't been his I've been feeding shrimpy Shrimp and he doesn't know it You who do you think I'm a fucking cannibal? What a fuck you feeding me shrimp for are you cock sucker? Don't worry. I'll put you on a normal diet. I just wanted uh I'm only kidding. I wasn't feeding you shrimp. Hey, it looks like a plastic ornament, man What do you do you put that on your uh plastic ornament window? Who the fuck is this guy Tell him to shut the fuck up Or I'll crawl into his pants and and bite off his fucking balls Oh shrimpy calm down calm down. I you know what? I'm putting you back in you back in your uh in your watery salty briny cage You're I mean you're you're you're aquarium rather Ah All right All right shrimpy shrimpy needs a bar of soap in his mouth All right shrimpy's going back in that in the salt water Look back on your window. Hey shrimpy Hold on shrimpy. Yeah, look at them. Let me pick you up against shrimpy When you go on a boardwalk in the jerseys down in jerseys shore I noticed the store sell a lot of uh what they call salt water taffy But when I read the ingredients I never see salt salt water It as one of the ingredients why the hell did they call it salt water taffy? How the fuck do I know? Just because I'm from the ocean you think I know Everything you you people do No, well, I it's I noticed there's a lot of fudge What are you packed fudge? What are you gay? No, no fudge the candy, you know, they got a sister bag, you know, you make sugar and and and cream cheese Uh, you know, whatever, but there's no salt and salt water taffy Just like there's no eggs in a cream Hey, put him in in some bath water. He stinks man You know a cream chocolate and vanilla a cream. There's no way Yeah, you're right What all right salt water taffy you have no idea Oh, go fuck yourself. All right, you're going back in the water You're going back to your own Very well, I can't drown because he can breathe underwater. All right. Look, he's still kicking in man his legs Yeah, I know what he's he's trying to swim to his favorite position, which is uh You know, uh, usually uh with his face to the wall Hopefully his mouth will be full. Look, he's full of stress. Look at him. I know he's stressed out. He's a stressed out shrimp Camarone Is uh, uh, uh, Camarone is spanish for shrimp. All right You know what What's no I know I don't think I could do better than that. Let's know. Hey, what's up? No, you're no jersey Hey, we're not we didn't we heard that last time So, uh, what's going on? Mr. Crease trying to get work here and there Look, I'm doing here here and there there and here. I'm doing corny comedy skits with my friend james here all right, uh Here and there here and there and everywhere Yeah, you know, it's uh, you know, what's funny speaking of what's up No, what's down what's down your underpants is falling down. Well, that's what uh, what uh, bill clinton said When he used to interview all the uh interns and young ladies used to say no not Don't say what's up to me. It's what's down Are you gonna go down on me? but anyway, um You know when somebody greets you they usually say hey How are you doing? How are you? What's up? Do they really want to know how you're doing? I don't think so because if you If you told them how you're really doing They'd walk away from you. No, they wouldn't walk away from you. What would happen was You would have things in common with them and they'd be like, yeah, I like you. Yeah, so what your wife is gonna stab you in the back, too Yeah, she did that three weeks ago to me Well, that's if you have something in common with the person who says hey man, hey, what's up? Hey, what's up? But in a lot of cases people like in business And office a caddy office women they they always say How are you? What's up? You know what I hate? Like in the dating uh scene in america like let's say dating online dating or if you meet somebody that's exciting You know, it's you know, it's oh pisses me off women always say the the second or third thing that they comes out of their Mouth to a man Is what do you do? Why does it why are they always trying to size up a man's income and job? You know, you know, what do you do? That's that's a very personal annoying And someone yeah, yeah, but see you don't get it like the other guys out there okay, what happens is They're sizing you up to see your income because they want to burn you They want to go out with you All right take everything they possibly can take from you. They want you to entertain All right, and they get everything for free and if they get pregnant they got you're done. They got you for 18 years Right, they got you for 18 years You know and and oh by the way when you're taking them out They order the apple martini that costs like almost 20 bucks But when they go out with their girlfriends, they're probably ordering a beer or or vodkin But when they go out with the man all they want the fancy drinks Because see what they see is they see a guy coming over Here's a sucker Hey, look at this guy. I can take this guy for everything He's got you know, I just wants to get in my pants, you know, you go there, baby You know, I think you hit the nail on the head They know Men are desperate to get in the in the woman's pantalones Well, I'm not only that but then they wanted to talk to their friends and say, hey, you see that hot one I'm going out with and then all the friends look I said, wow Look, yeah, look at larry man. See the one he scored with man. I look up to Well, these guys are thirsty and and they're desperate And they they're desperate to get laid and they make it bad for all the decent nice intelligent men out there Yeah, so they so so they don't have this x. Okay, and then when it comes to the pay The wife rubs the pay So who got down? Hey, I remember one time many years ago. Remember bodybuilder lee hainy mr Let me hainy lee hainy one Yeah, when he won one of his mr. Olympias And get this on national tv Did he wear like hainy underwear hains underwear? No, no, he has nothing to do with that But the baby ruth candy bar was connected to baby ruth. Oh, you know what? Hey hainy hainy, okay hainy his uncle was on Green acres green acres. Yeah, but they saw you to work on a bridge. Mr. Hainy was a black man No, I mean lee hainy was a black man. Mr. Hainy was was very pasty white You know now you're gonna make me think of that song green acres is the place to be Far on the limit is the light for me on the pick land spreading out so far Green acres get man hat in the business could be sunny Oh, I'm sorry, we're keeping you away. That was not a shrimps dead man. We talking to the shrimp That was just Bobby. That was just that was just my crispy crusty shrimp Uh, anyway, the point is that lee hainy's wife Immediately rushed up on stage and grabbed the the big check out of his hands and stormed off the stage Like she was trying to make a point and this is the point that a lot of american women unfortunately make That they I think they use a man's libido a man's a greater sex drive They they play The gender card so to speak and they use it against him so they can control The husband the boyfriend the fiance the relationship and they could control it like a prostitute I mean it is a form of prostitution, you know when a woman dates somebody You know to get over on you know money wise It is a form But anyway, I digress Uh, this is uh, it's supposed to be a light funny show And I digress. Well, what else is new What's new? Oh, here we go I've been doing some comedy and I got a comedy. I'm gonna be doing it in a couple minutes Okay, uh, you're gonna be doing it with uh, no, I'm doing this all this is a solo This is a solo skit. Yes, and then you can introduce the the gentleman That is going to be joining. Yeah, he'll be flying by in about a couple minutes. I have a couple minutes Must be flying by in his bed Okay, where he's got a jet I don't know man. This is this is not a big brother is Brett Brett this uh studio is not big enough for uh to accommodate a it's not a there's no heliport or Or a private jet Right, or he might be right. He might be riding a strippy He might be right. Well, I don't think strippy can fly. It's it's not mothra You know from the godzilla movie. I don't think strippy can fly But yeah, strippy can uh annoy people. Shrimpy is very annoying. I think strippy has a napoleonic complex You know anything small they're like a chihuahua, you know small dogs. They never shut the hell up You know short people, you know, they they're obnoxious, you know What the fuck are you talking about up there? You could bring strippy anywhere. Okay, strippy can Go on your forehead. You could go on your hat. Shrimpy reminds stick to your glasses Shrimpy reminds me of plankton from the spongebob squarepants cartoon, you know small and obnoxious You know, I like that guy plankton. I think he's a good guy Yeah, because he's tiny like you and annoying and obnoxious. Anyway, take it away Oh boy, I'll tell you that guy James. He needs a nice bar of soap in his mouth. Doesn't he there? Oh, sorry. Who's that guy over there? You know what that guy is over there? James, you know who he is? Um, I don't want the coverbob The coverbob Bob's on the covers right now He's getting ready what he's playing with himself Okay, so anyway Let's sit down Bob You got some space. Give the man some space man. Hold off man. There are a couple minutes Well, anyway, I'm from Patterson, New Jersey. Whoa, that guy's from Patterson, man You know when I used to go to clubs and I used to talk to people even girls Used to meet girls and they used to tell me oh I'm from Midland Park or I'm from Barona Or I'm from parameters and they used to say to me they were like, where are you from? I was like, oh, I'm from Patterson. They're like lock the doors man. Put the windows up Okay, look at me like I'm gonna rape them or not and then they shoot them No the section I'm from from Patterson. We call it hillcrest It's a nice section. It's close to total So I'm not in the heated battle. I'm not in the hood I'm not in the ghetto. I'm in a pretty good section but anyway There's a park down by my house and we got the river here. We got the forsake river So one time I went down there as close to meet my friends there and my friends didn't show up So I went by the ledge of the river and all of a sudden I seen a duck fly by on a baby diaper His legs were up like this. He was chilling out Another duck came by in a tire, a tire tube The water was so disgusting it's almost like you feel sorry for these ducks So then I just walked out by And then I seen a couple people keep a couple guys fishing. What are they fishing for? They pull in the bass and whatever they pull in there was a little oil on the fish Screws coming out of their mouths So they throw it back. So I'm like, what do you fish for? No, it's just we like the fish It's the game Okay, all of a sudden I walk on my way and all of a sudden it's like I see these two guys hanging out And they're down at the first step Now we have steps that lead into the river Now when you get the at the first step, you're gonna lead into mud which goes into the river. It's like a swamp Anyway, I'm watching these two guys And the ducks come by by the first step and they're by the first step And these guys take out their vial And they got a crack bolt So they put it in their pipe They put it in their pipe and they're smoking their crack And they're laughing back and forth and all of a sudden the ducks come by and you hear the ducks say quack quack quack quack So these guys are looking at the ducks and they're goofing on the ducks They take a couple hits of the crack and they blow The smoke and the ducks face And all of a sudden the ducks are like they're freaking out. They're going quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack And all of a sudden the guys are laughing and the ducks take off and they fly away So I look at these two guys and all of a sudden they just get up and they walk away So I'm waiting for my friends. My friends don't show up About a week later, I says oh, you know what? Let me go down the park. Let me see who's down by the park So I go down by the park and there's the dirty river at a whole nine yards again And I see the two crack heads again Now they're down at the first step They're sitting here and you know the ducks are going to come by Because you can feed the ducks. In fact, they walk up the steps the ducks and they hang out With some of the people and then they just fly away Anyway, I see the two crack head guys that are down at the first step And they take their vial out and they got their crack bowl. They got their pipe They're ready to smoke it and all of a sudden they hear these sirens And they're like, oh man, it's the cops. Let's get out of here. So they dash off So they take off Meanwhile, I'm looking I see the crack ball there and I see the two ducks The two ducks go up the first step They see the crack crack. They think it's bread. They stick it in their mouth and they're chewing on it I don't know all of a sudden you hear them say And they take off I'm like, wow So my friends come by we're hanging out I tell them the story they're laughing About a month goes by I got nothing to do. I'm like, let me go down the park. She was hanging out down the park So now I go down by the park I don't see the two crack head guys But I look and I see the ducks hanging out and the one freaking duck flies And the other duck and all of a sudden I didn't know where I see these two ducks coming And they're by the first step Okay, they got hats on backwards gold chains And ear jordan sneakers And they're saying Crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack And all of a sudden I look I see another duck and the freaking duck shrank. He was a freaking major So the moral to the story is If you smoke crack don't go down by the sate county river Because if you go down by the sate county river, you're gonna see a whole squad of ducks doing the Frick is that This guy's nervous over here. No, I'm just doozy asm. It's a doozy asm. You forgot my line there Well, anyway, if you go down by the park and you see five six ducks the lined up and you see him doing The crack walk It's like wow look at that duck he's ready to take a dump He's gonna take a dump on you James. You know what I think I think if Many years ago if if the late soupy sales Uh went over big with that ridiculous song and dance What I think was called the mouse the mouse I think there's a lot of potential for the crack This the new dance. It could be a new dance sensation crack by you The crack the crack the crack The crack and being that you are the master of creative dance. You could really turn something into this You know what I I try to crack a couple times in the past You know what crack does to you makes the crack of your ass bigger? No, but it's almost like You're on one of them trade mills and you're like this crack dance crack dance Well, it's concentrate. It's concentrated cocaine, right? It's the crack dance. It's like dude move forward. I can't what crack dance crack dance Crack a crack. I can't move my body Hey, could you move me? You know what I got a strong feeling that this crack dance Done by you will be a sensation. You know, it'll become Who does this? Can create introduces the crack dance A new sensation A newest sensation a little hierarchical cell then newest sensation can create Introduces the crack dance when I was bad with my friend smoking Crack yeah, I only did a couple times What we got involved before that the other drugs The white smoke angel dust. Oh, wow I felt like a piece of starch So it was almost like I was mechanical Well, it is March. So you might as well be a piece of starch So you really I was you really hit I was a mechanical man for the night And it was like hey you know, uh Don't step on the eggs. Don't crack the eggs and you're walking like this That's that's the feel of it Like you're walking on the moon. Now, what about lsd? Well, did you ever try that? No My son msg. Oh, this might as well go into production. Oh, that was I used to yeah, hey, that was when the old w w f monthly Events where where we're televised Back when the father ran it Vince McMahon senior, but anyway, um So you pretty much Have uh tried Most of your popular recreational drugs in your life. Listen to James recreational drugs So what the heck does recreational drugs mean? I got to go to like no prescription I I have to go to a recreational place No, no, that means you're a when we ask the senior citizen in in the studio Wow, I seen you said now you got senior citizens on crack. No, no, no any crack you came to watch the show Hey charlie Uh, what uh, oh, what is your opinion of all this? Well, let me tell you something recreational drugs is when you don't have a prescription from your doctor You know what I mean you you you you do it for the feel for the feel Why are you grabbing your crotch charlie every time you say for the feel? Well, I'm trying to emphasize it Uh, excuse me I'm trying to emphasize it. You're doing it for the sensation before you feel of it Oh the feel of it. What do you feel? He sure loves that word feel this charlie. Hey charlie You look at that from that song. Can you feel it? Can you feel it? Can you feel it? So what it what I'm trying what I'm trying to say is you don't need a doctor's prescription Unprescribed which means you you you're it's illegal and if people buy for the feel You know, it gets me James. No charlie. Go sit down. We'll always get me james. You ever see the commercials Okay, here's a good commercial. You look You ever see the commercials off for your rules? They're depressing. I I they're in it during the day they are but They have a commercial life insurance companies. Well, they have them but they have a commercial All right, it's about cemetery plots mausoleums All right, yeah, and they said you can get this beautiful spot in the mausoleum 45 000 And your loved ones can be there in their coffin in the mausoleum and they can see the beautiful sky All right, and the beautiful sunrise coming up Why are they gonna see they're dead like they're in the lap of luxury? Yeah, I hear you Hey, you know what when you're dead, it doesn't matter if they grind you into sausage meat You know, it doesn't matter if they petrify you and turn you into a hat rack or a lamp For the living room. You're dead. You're dead. It doesn't matter if you have waterfront property in front of you If there's a lake if there's swans if there's peacocks or whatever it doesn't matter where you are you're dead the the the uh The uh marble or granite and the location is for the living relatives so they Can brag and say oh what a lovely plot. Oh, what a lovely location You know what you know what the best funeral is and it's it'll be low cost shrink wrap the same stuff The the the food industry uses to pack the cold cuts for the market Shrink wrap the bodies and plant them in vertically instead of horizontally plant them straight down So they take up a lot less land a lot less realistic Shrink wrap them and plant them straight down vertically That is my solution. No, you know my solution is with the funeral cost Why it's like even with me Can I believe that when I die? I'm gonna go to heaven because I took christ as my savior Okay, so when I die you could bury me in my backyard and throw freaking dirt because you know what you Bigged that up three years later. You'll find my bones, but I ain't gonna be there All right, so my personal opinion these people hit people over the head five thousand ten thousand Fifteen thousand to scan of course it's a scam All right, go on once I could I have five thousand over there uh two two thousand over there Oh, we got this great snow going over here for four thousand Uh this box over here goes five thousand got here five thousand one So would you like that one over there that comes in marble? Would you like that one in that comes in? I mean come on man. It's like wake up. Listen they could cremate you and mix you Into non-dairy coffee creamer. Yeah, but that put it in somebody's coffee and you know, I mean But that price is going up too cremation Well people used to get cremated for a couple hundred dollars And then it went up on the scale now people are saying well to bury my loved one that cost me eight thousand dollars I'll let them get cream. Oh, that's up to fifteen. You gotta have fifteen hundred over here No, two thousand over here. I give you a big discount if it's not a loved one who dropped that let's say Let's say somebody everybody hated they couldn't stand a guy miserable bastard. I guess for you This count you can have is in your pocket Anyway, uh Would you like to whoa, whoa wait wait a minute. Who's this guy coming up? Who are you? Who's this guy? Hey James, who is this guy? What's your name? It looks like you come from undercover bob. No, what's your name? Oh, I'm masked bob. That's bob. Yeah, masked bob. Wait a minute. Wait a minute This guy masked bob. What do you come like in different disguises? Yes, I do Because if I did and I wouldn't be masked bob. I'd just be bob man Look at your haircut. It's standing straight up. You look like a hedge Yeah, do you want me to turn your hedge? No Is that got the trimmer out? Let's see. Wow. So what is your name? Mask bob What's the mask you're wearing? Oh, this is I call it a bad boy mask bad boy. What do you watch top bad boy bad boy bad boy What you're going to do when they come for you bad boy. You watch that show? I used to You don't watch it no more? Well, because I have other things to do now. Why would you do? Use the internet Internet. Yeah, so what do you get in contact with down on the internet? Oh, a chicks No, I just Any ducks? No ducks. No chicks. No chicks So what do you listen? What do you watch? What do you watch on that thing? Oh Are you I play video games? Yeah, what video games you like to play on that? Let's see chess gravel What else? Are you sure you didn't grab the lady's chest the other day? No, why not? Because I'm not that tight. I think he was blacking off Hey, this is shrimp. Hey, here goes that guy again Shrimpy shrimpy this guy's back in the deal. Hey, you know what? Here's your freaking shrimp. It's a plastic ornament get up break out of here Get that thing out of here. You're gonna let this guy man handle me Look at him Bob. You see that thing over there. What is that Bob? It's an ornament that goes on your car Look at him. He's gonna stick them out. Look look how nervous he is. Whoa Whoa, I think he was whacking off on the internet. Wow Look at that. You see how that sticks there? Yeah, you can move that thing anywhere. That's an ornament You're gonna buy that off it It's not an ornament. It's a real shrimp. Yeah, it's a real shrimper, right? And that's a real haircut right Bob, right? Wow, Bob, let me see your eyes What a pretty kind of you man. You look like you're from Star Trek Yeah, yeah, look at your ears What do you got four ears? This guy's got four ears. Four ears. You're right. So are you an alien from Star Trek? I think he's a genetic mutation Could be What do you mean? Could be to the yes or it's no or in between yes. No in between yes. No in between yes No in between where are you? No No, so what's no I'm not a genetic mutation. Okay, and I have are you I'm I'm Bob and I have brown eyes. You have brown eyes. Yeah, so the bad boy mask. Where did you get that from? Oh, I got it from a costume shop in white cloth that went out of business. What was the call? I forget the name of it. That's a good name But these bad boy masks are rare. They're hard to get. How much that cost you? $10 back in the early 90s. Wow. What do you think that cost now a hundred dollars? I saw it on ebay for $43 $43 used now if they're rare, how much did they cause well done? Very good question This mask might be worth quite a lot of money He he said if they're here, how much did they cause well done? You should have came back Well, let's turn it over and see Like a piece of meat Yeah, oh and I got it. He is your feet. I get it now. And do you know Pete? Yeah, I know Pete. Who's Pete? The one that gave me the mask that I wore before. Oh, you mean PD mobile? Yeah, does he have the PD mobile no more? I have no idea. I don't think so. What's he got now? Blue eyes blue eyes Wait, if he has no PD mobile that means he's got to be walking. Right. Where's he walked it? The deli on the street corner. Oh, so he's not walking Yes, indeed. I'm talking about you and me not that walking. No What? Where else is he walking? I guess over the railroad tracks Really? Oh, yeah, that's right. He's got the dogs. Yeah Where's he bringing the dogs? I guess by the railroad tracks and when you do by the railroad tracks They do their business. What business is that? You know what I mean. I don't know what you mean. One and two. Did they got their own business? Yeah, what's their business? One and two. What's one and two? 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 Just like I said, one and two. But what's one and two? If I want to be graphic, it's pee and poop. Pee and poop. That rhymes. One and two is pee and poop. So we got pee pee Which pee pee can go to poo poo Right, right. So the peat you're talking about is a long time well established stand-up comic Yeah, yeah, yeah, let me finish. I don't know that last names. Yeah, that's it. That's it. No last names Why are you shy? Yeah, there's no last names here. We just name and that's it We don't bring other people into the picture. No, okay. In other words, we don't plug. We don't plug Okay, we don't use a rotor. You use a rotor, right? No, I don't use a rotor. How come? When you go to bathroom, yeah, when do you go to bathroom? On the toilet Okay, so what if you really backed up? What do you do? I call all a plumber Call a rotor, that's the name and away goes trouble down the drain Wow Okay, so let's see bad boy. You know That show cops. Yeah All right, why in that show did they call bad boys bad boys? Because that's just what they are criminals. Oh, so they call them bad boys Yeah, but this is butch That's not butch. What's that? I call them bad boy, but isn't he from a cartoon? Yeah, the real name is The real person of this mask is dialed a street fighter. Oh, wasn't that that guy that was our Yeah, he looked like he was pumped up on steroids something like that. He looked like the michelin man. Yeah You know thinking about the michelin man, james. You're a load. I they still have that michelin man all blown up like this You know, I have whitey. I think they took that. You know, I'm not sure you mean the billboard. Yeah, the billboard on room 46 You know when you know when you used to pump up your yeah, I saw that billboard. I liked it too Well, you gotta let me complete my joke here You know when you had your your uh five speed bike. Yeah, yeah, I felt you tired Yeah, okay, what'd you have to do? You had to get the Pump pump the pumping up, right? Yeah. Well, I think with the michelin man They pumped them up They kept pumping them. They kept pumping them. They kept pumping them Hey, he looks like the pills very disranging blow up. They had to put a string on him He looks like the bill like a balloon. He looks like the pills very dough boy on steroids the michelin man Yeah, and and and the way they had him like the pills very dough boy. He's got his chef head on All right, and he's like this And he's like tubby here Then when you push him his stomach and go he and he go he's a fat. He's a fat fuck. He's a fat bastard Well, anyway, the one that was the billboard. Yeah, okay He had little rings around him. Do you notice the rings like on his leg? Yeah, those little rings like weights those are flabs man flabs flabs of frigging fat Flabs of fat and white actually white dough, which makes people fat. But um, yeah, but that yeah, you're right I haven't seen that. You know no. No, uh so, uh I don't know man. This guy here Bad boy Yeah, I remember that cartoon you had that here ado Yeah, right you had that mask. Yeah, you had the mirrors. He had them eyes. Yeah You know, do you like that cartoon? I don't know if I'd like the cartoon or not, but I like the character guile Yeah, yeah, who else was in that? I forget what a lot of similar people Yeah, but didn't he have like something on your shirt or something? Huh, I'm not sure Now tv shows growing up you'd like tv shows, right? Yeah, okay Remember superman. Yeah. Do you like superman? So so I like the superman that were in black and white Yeah, but did you ever notice James you ever noticed when the superman episodes black and white or even colored? It was like there's clark hent And he's gonna turn into superman So it's like every scene you see him turning into superman in certain programs. He would run through the same alley He would run into the same alley or or and then he would he would have the uh, superman Uh uniform or costume under His clothing under his suit and tie and everything But you would never see the bulge of his cape underneath his trousers Like you could never tell his costume was underneath must have been pretty hot for him actually to wear that it was underneath and clark hent Took off sometimes he did take off his glasses, but nobody superman But nobody recognized clark hent as being superman All he had was those those plastic black frame glasses on nobody recognized him And you know what else was funny When there was a girl around and he wanted to be nice and take a hunk of coal He crushed it in his hand under extreme pressure And not only did a big diamond emerge for the for the lady, but it was already cut Like it wasn't a diamond in a rough. It was perfectly cut like a jeweler a diamond cutter cut it And all that from a squeeze I mean, you know try to get the public to to believe that but you know, we're talking about The old days when you had uh, b horror movies low budget horror movies And you know, there wasn't a lot of button but with superman. There was two other things they used to get me another time He would be in his office And it's like oh, I got to turn into superman So he would take off his clothes And he fly out the window now you had a lady that came in who was a cleaner Now see was he has pants there his shirt there how do you get his clothes shoes there? All right, his suit there suit jacket tie hat there Glasses there and when she came in to clean she'd be like hey, mr. Kent. Where are you? Hey, mr. Kent. Where are you and she can't find mr. Kent now she's with what you think she said Wait a minute. Where is this guy? Why is all his clothes here? Isn't it funny how all of uh, superman or clarkin's clothes and eyeglasses all got back Just superman. He never lost Yeah, but you gotta realize one thing Okay, he was superman So when he came back all he had to do with his x-ray eyes is point to his outfit his suit And then fly right on Or ken again. Well, this is an assumption, you know plus his shoes How did his superman boots fit? In his dress shoes How did everything and and and he always got back everything is under where his wallet is But you don't get he's don't get it. He's superman. Oh my god Superman could do anything. These are all funny things that we found out that superman was taking it in the can Well now superman is fighting batman, which I don't understand another one batman. Do you like batman? So so so so so Why you don't like batman? I like this mask. Yeah, you like this mask. I like his is dark purple I like everything. I like that color. I like that dark blackish purple Mask and and the kate everything the car everything was the same color. I like, uh I like the back. See he was another guy very cozy It was another guy the fact that commissioner gordon would call him And he say to him what he was Bruce Wayne A sidekick was his nephew, right? So what was his sidekick's name? Rob not robbing when he was Dick Grayson dick All right, yes commissioner. Okay Dick that a bat cave and then you seem to go down the pole now they're batman and robbing they get in the car They go to commissioner The commissioners well, they never did anything that I go to commissioners office and they give a clue now remember He's batman Batman knows everything So now they're trying to analyze actually out for out for it is the one that researches everything So he grabs the paper he's looking so they're giving their point of view and batman. It's like he's a computer No, what I think is He's putting it all together And then robin would say holy cow batman. You're absolutely right now what I want to know is What the hell did chief ol hara and commissioner gordon do What would they get and pay for in god them city? They call batman for everything It's like you don't need a police department in god them city because they're always bothering batman god them city You need a police department because you have batman But they don't be playing it You didn't need a police department because you had superman. So that's why you just saw a chief ol hara and Commissioner gordon. They didn't really do anything. They just kept on bothering batman for every little thing. Hey mask bar Did you get did you get around to remodeling that garbage? Can you live in not? Yeah Oh, well, I think you're well, what are you gonna? You can't you don't have to get aluminum siding because it's already Aluminum probably right? Yeah Yeah Okay, mom All right, bob. Well, we gotta move on here because we got another thing that's gonna kick in So say good night to the audience bob Good night night Sleep tight Don't let the bed bugs by And that's Greetings everyone. I'm back James be madame And i'm here with my cousin The one and only professional price fighter rasko rasko. How you doing? All right, no the match hasn't started yet now rasko You're not obviously you're not rasko p cold train from the duke's of hazard You're rasko my cousin the the price fighter and uh, uh, they call you uh with a punch drunk or something Oh, you're not really punch drunk All right, I see I can understand my cousin rasko. Well other people might have a problem now rasko you you have a long career Uh, um, you're very very well experienced in the ring Uh, excuse me in the ring Now, uh, is it true I Okay, no problem no problem now. Is it true you had you actually had a fight with mike tyson Now you had it you sparred with him or you had a a a a actual, uh, booked Uh, uh televised Fight was it uh, you did both? Oh Well rasko you look great. You never look better In your life You know, I mean uh, hey um When was the last time you got a haircut man? He always had that curly hair, you know, I mean, um We always wondered why you know, we had the curly black hair in our family Being that most of us had straight or wavy light hair, but he came out this way I don't know. I have no idea Uh, uh, maybe it's because when he was a child, he stuck his finger in the light socket That could be it Yeah, yeah, hey now I like the the the the job the plastic surgeon did on your nose The nose job is excellent folks. Didn't he do a great job? I mean really I think They did a great job on your nose Yeah now turn sideways Yeah, this way approach me That's a great profile Profile profile. I'm sorry They did a great nose job. They call it rhino plastic You know, it's kind of offensive to call name that name it after a rhinoceros You know, I mean somebody needs a nose job, but I think they did a uh The guy is uh, he wasn't board certified a plastic surgeon. He was broad certified He had a lot of girlfriends Um With some Undercover Bob, but just thought it was real But he didn't laugh. He didn't laugh. We haven't heard you laugh all day. He has a very unique laugh, but anyway um Cousin, uh, roscow, do you have any Any advice for uh young athletes out there that want to take up a professional price fighting career You you do personal training too, right? Come on. You do personal training, right? You go train I don't know if they'll understand what the fuck you're saying, but you know, I think you'll do a good job training, you know I'll knock your ass out man You he's pushing a guy with a with a black thorn chilele in the same Not that I need the chilele, but anyway, it helps me emphasizing so roscow Uh, uh, is your are your fees expensive at your boxing gym to train? 200 what 250 dollars Would you say again how much is going on? what 25 dollars Okay, all right, whatever His his fees are reasonable. You can see by the looks of him. Yeah, he knows what he's doing He's very well experienced roscow and uh, you're training food now. Is it would it be like, uh, uh, uh, cannolis Do you get your strength or cannolis cannolis? and uh What about uh any special I heard you have a very special high protein uh, vitamin packed uh pizza recipe for athletes Yeah, your own special formula you got to try it. You're actually uh He he wanted to take The best training food and nutrition and put it into a a way that Kids would enjoy eating it and he created this pizza um, um, it's called the uh, the pie-eyed pizza Yes, and not as in pie-eyed punch drive Pie pie-eyed the sailor man, you know, remember him Why are you talking about pie pie-eyed pizza roscow's special pie-eyed pizza? but uh roscow You have many great years ahead of you and good luck With your boxing school training all these kids because you are truly but a look to you It shows that you are the guiding light for america's youth and you should that you should be the president of the um What is that organization called? No, you should be the head of the president's uh, uh, you keep on interrupting me man You should be the president. You should be the head of the president's council for physical fitness You know why roscow I think we're done Take care everyone. We'll see you next time roscow say goodbye to everybody Yeah What was that again? What'd you say? I don't know what the fuck this guy said