 I want to talk about a huge part of overcoming emotional numbness and dissociation. This is about the sense of there being no person. I've been talking with people recently and a part of overcoming or like healing this dissociation, this numbness. He's kind of describing it because it almost feels like it's nothing happening and that's not true. There is a lot happening when we are dissociated in numb but in healing it we sort of like are familiarizing ourselves with what this phenomenon is and we start to describe it and you know a few people have said to me David it feels like there's no person here and we just sit with that for a second and see if that resonates with you at all. It feels like there's no person here. Now isn't that interesting? There is a person there. There is a person here. Now what we're going to do here, this is why you see when we're cut off from our emotions the gateway emotion to health and to feeling, our feelings fully again is usually a disallowable emotion and that emotion is anger. When we start to get in touch with that frustration, that irritation is what it'll feel like at the beginning when we start to move down into anger. What we're realising is anger is actually a protective emotion. In nature we know that an animal would get very very angry if it has to protect its young or protect itself. We also know that when a person is angry it's it's sort of like saying no back off and this is what this is the language of the language of boundaries. So in a sense what we one of the biggest things that we can do when we are dissociated, when we're when we're supported enough and we've gained enough insight we start to realize I have to start to implement or practice establishing and enforcing boundaries. I have to find where can I say no more in my life the things because what you're doing with that there is no person establishing boundaries means I'm now drawn an outline for a person. Here is where the person here's where you begin or the world begins and here is where I begin and that language of no recognize that I'm saying no I need space I need room. This is now you're actually outlining the person again. The no is the establishment of the boundaries is a container for the self container for the emotions and that has to begin with a sort of a an assertive sometimes angry no to other people. We stop the people pleasing we start to prioritize our own self-care our own needs and we are willing to step into the feeling of oh I'm a bit selfish there I can't do that that's that's risky and it does feel risky but of course it's riskier not to do it. So I'm going to make a an imitation to you in this in this video I talked in in other videos about this numbness dissociation and about body work and and various other things that we can do that are very helpful when we're dissociated and numb emotionally but one of the biggest things that we can do for ourselves is find where is the unsaid no in my life and who do I need to say it to sometimes is even a no to ourselves you know we have a lot of the work I do in procrastination for instance is is personal boundaries with my own goals my own tasks but it's also interpersonal boundaries with family members or you're into them into my partner close friends work colleagues your manager at work all these different things these are where we can establish and it's setting up the boundary communicating the boundary and then if a person breaches the boundary we enforce the boundary and when we can do that we are creating a person we're creating a boundary for the self to feel like there is a person here where all these emotions can now start to rest and be experienced again you go out through that anger you're increasing the temperature anger is like a there's a heat to it there's it's in it's born in conflict so we're increasing the temperature through this anger and that's when now we get into all these other emotions that are in there and that is that's why interpersonal relationships are so helpful for us because we do need to have boundaries in the healthiest of relationships because I'm not going to say more too much more about that now but I hope that's a useful video essentially what I'm saying is when you start to enforce boundaries set up boundaries for yourself start saying no or set to prioritize yourself it actually helps us with our our numbness and and our our dissociation so just keep that in mind maybe do some reflection on that if it resonates with you personally and if you would like to know more about this you can go to my website or you can contact me or just a schedule a session with me one to one if this is something that you feel you would benefit from more direct work on take care yourselves and I will see you very soon in the next video bye for now