 Think about it, men can sleep with this woman and this woman, this woman, and then you meet a good woman and you want to make sure that her body count is low. But is that fair? Because I can step in a room and you have 15 women that you slept with that I don't even know you lay down with. And how does that look on my part? But when I find out, how is that really going to make me feel that everybody to have a piece of my man? Listen, it's the message right here. Black boy, tell me how you really feel, because I just want to build with you. Black girl, tell me how you really feel. I want to keep it real with you. I want to live better, eat better. I want to love better, sleep better. Yeah, I want to feel so aligned. Okay. So, I was 21 and I was promiscuous out in these streets, okay? And I moved here, like moved to Tennessee really. And I met this older man and really in my mind I was like, well, I've never been with a man that old. You know what I'm saying? So, I'm going to try it out. And I was not trying to have no kids with him. I really wasn't trying to have no kids at all. Right? That's why I said sometimes, even though I came up in a good home, I was like, yeah, I don't want to be responsible for another human being. Just because I've seen, my mom did foster care, day care, all of that. And I was like, I just, I need a break for somebody. I need a break from kids, right? And then, you know, but I was out here having unprotected sex. So obviously the consequence of my actions and not closing my legs was I got pregnant, right? And for me, I'm not out of touch with reality. I was just enjoying sex with this man. Like, we would talk, but I knew in my mind, like, I didn't see a future with him for real, right? And I was never one of those women that wanted to be in a relationship because I got pregnant with somebody's kids. Like, that's an insult to me. Like, if you didn't find that she wanted to be with me before me getting pregnant, later on, if we ever got, when we got together because of the baby, later on, you'd be like, well, I did you, I did you a favor by being with you. I didn't leave you because you, you know, I didn't want to be with you. I stayed. I didn't want somebody to ever say that to me. So I was like, I'm going to just stick out being a single mom because really it was my choice to open my legs. And this is the consequence. I don't feel like my son should suffer in a home where there was never love in the first place. It was just pleasure. So that's, that's, that's an interesting story. Like the, the fear a lot of men have is like, even the women these days who were raised in good homes, whatever we classify as good homes, still somehow find themselves in the streets. Yeah. So like, what was the disconnect between I was raised with a father, I was, you know, nurtured, I was raised relatively well, but I still was out in the streets. Like what, how did that transition happen? My mom was so strict, like for real. I didn't have like B, T, like I didn't have nothing. And so I just, when I turned 18, I graduated and I did exactly what she wanted. I was telling my son this morning, I was like, I put on those, I could tell you what outfit I had after graduation. I put on those orange shirts and that tank top and I was in the streets because I wasn't able to do nothing. So I felt like I was just trying to catch up with everybody else when I was around me, not cause I was raised to do that, but just because I felt like I missed out on so much. You were like a PK, like a preacher's kid, like super sheltered. Yeah. Like she just, she was like, my mom was not saved when she came over here or when she even had me. And I think in her mind was like, I just don't want her to make the same mistakes I did. But then she locked me in the house. Does that make sense? And so when I finally got free, it was like, oh, I'm going to try this. But actually my son's father isn't a street dude. Anyways, like he's a real clean cut dude. He was a car salesman when I met him, you know what I'm saying? So like he has like a good job. Maybe just was I, I didn't see him as a husband. What was he missing for you to see him as a husband? I guess he a lot like he was missing a lot. He's the communication was like really not good for him, for him to be his age, you know, and I found it weird that he could relate to me with the age difference that I thought we had. But coming to find out he was way older than what he really said he was. So even then I was like, how could you relate to me? I'm 21 and you're like 34, 35. Like that's too much, you know, so he was older than that. He was older than that. Damn. OK. Yeah. Yeah. And so I thought that that was weird. But he had a lot of trauma that he hadn't dealt with. And I just didn't I didn't want to be with somebody like that. Not to, you know, anybody that has trauma, please don't get mad at me. But there's things that come with that. And I don't feel like I want it to be responsible for those things to be completely honest. So, you know, with with growing up. With the dad, he was a former pimp. I'm sure he put you on game. He did. How to not be one of these girls. I had this. So while your mom was sheltering you, what was his take on that? Because I'm sure on some level, he knows that some of his some of his hoes either came from traumatic situations or super sheltered situations. So how did he allow that to still happen? He he went to jail. And that's how that happened. So one of one of the hoes, you know, snitched on him and then he ended up going to jail. And so technically, I think that it was a good stint to if that would not have happened, it wouldn't have happened. Like if he went to jail, like he would ensure that I didn't escape. And, you know, damn, yeah. OK, so in a way, you were raised by a single mother as at a certain point because I knew my dad. So like I would say because I want to make sure I get the numbers right. Because he was there for my graduation and I graduated early. So he was gone for like five years at one point and he got out right before my graduation. Actually, he was there when I left. He was like, oh, God, what have you done to my child? Right. Like she's ready to escape. So he knew, you know what I'm saying? But prior to that, but what I will say though is even though I got out in those streets, I wasn't stupid. Right. I didn't get pregnant until I was 21. I have friends that got pregnant, like right out of high school or during high school. I was smart, you know, I just kind of slipped up. Not even slip up. I didn't expect to get pregnant. I ain't going to lie. It's like, yeah, you're like, well, I've been doing this and this ain't never happened. So I would just say and I made a choice, but I will say sometimes things are generational. Hmm. Elaborate on that. What do you mean? So. Addiction can look like a lot of things, right? And like, OK, my dad, you know, he was a pimp, of course, right? So he had like addiction to women, we would say, you know, sex addiction, sex addiction, right? And then a couple other things, right? Before my mom decided that she's going to be safe. She had, she had men, right? She had two kids before she met him, right? And so. And then my grandma, even though she was married, she had 12 kids. So I'm giving you an ideal, right? And some I would say that sex addiction or just being promiscuous was something that was in my mind, right? And there are times where I could be like, I don't know why I'm doing this because I'm really not getting anything out of this but control. So it was the ability to I felt I was addicted to the level of control I would have. The seduction. Yeah. OK. OK. So so you're saying that the sex or the actions that, you know, led to having your son was less about, you know, just the pleasure aspect and more about the control control. Do you think a lot of women, because that's one of the critiques men have of women. Oh, you go out here, you do whatever the fuck. And then you want the good do to, like, you know what I'm saying? Come and play cleanup. Like, do you think that is the case for a lot of women? They're just exercising this new found, especially after the, you know, feminism movement and the whole new found control. What do you think is more to it? I think it's more to it. Like, I would like to say, you know, men, no offense to anybody. If you want to be honest, kind of set the tone for for black women, especially to kind of like push back, right? Or what women started off doing was also now I'm treating you the way you've been treating me and you don't like it, right? Because think about it. Men can sleep with this woman and this woman, this woman. And then you meet a good woman and you want to make sure that her body count is low. But is that fair? Because I can step in a room and you have 15 women that you slept with that I don't even know you lay down with. And how does that? How does that look on my part? But when I find out how is that really going to make me feel that everybody to have a piece of my man? That is. That is a very important conversation. That is a very common conversation. So I'm going to represent men in the barbershop. And I want you to keep it a hundred, right? So with that conversation, as far as, you know, sexual promiscuity, men can do this, but women shouldn't do that. Or I could be out here and I fuck 100 women. But my if my woman's body count is over 10, like. What men are saying is this, it takes a level of skill. OK, it takes a level of. Clout ability to seduce a woman to the point of having sex with her. OK, it doesn't necessarily take skill for a woman to seduce a man because we view it as women are the gatekeepers of it. So it's about I have to convince you to sleep with me. It's not that you have to convince me most of the time, right? So. Guy who's had sex with a lot of women, OK, woman who's had a sex with a lot of men, he's good at convincing women. She is easily convinced. OK, so I think that's why that's why it isn't equal for men. And we take it the way we take it, because the other piece, too, is OK. If I go out here, for instance, and I fuck 30 women right now. And I pregnant all 30 of those women, because ultimately one of the foundationary reasons of sex is procreation. Right. So that's always a risk. I'm pregnant. Oh, wait, so that again. It's always a risk. All right. So the primary one of the primary purpose of sex is procreation. OK, so we're going to come back to that. OK, all right. OK, so from a biological standpoint, that's what we're meant to do as a species. So I go out there and I'm pregnant 30 women. I can leave going about my life. I can leave with my life. Every single one of those women's life is now in danger. It is because pregnancy and carrying a baby to term and delivering is one of the riskiest things you'll ever do. So they on some level, whether consciously or unconsciously, signed on to potentially die to clone me. That's not taught, though. No, I'm just talking about the subconscious. Now, on the flip side, if a woman is out here and doing whatever, she is subconsciously signing up to potentially die to clone anybody. Right. But I think like what you say in there, that's fine. That you say that we'd be real with each other. Has any black woman really been taught that? Like, OK, well, when you lay down with the man, you're going to potentially get pregnant and you can die doing so. Right. For to clone a man that. Really, probably don't want you, want you and you don't necessarily want yourself. Right. Has anybody kept it real with them like that? I think women should. I think that's where like I talk about like where the female G's, because it's not men's jobs to like explain that, because we don't understand that as well. OK, true. So let me tell you what happened. So the other day, you know, the abortion situation has, you know, hit the airwaves and I didn't know what was going on. I'm not going to lie to you because I wasn't watching TV, but I just kept seeing stuff, right? And I was like, I mean, what is like why are people arguing today? So I kind of do a little thing. I was like, oh, OK, good, good. I'm glad it got overturned because this is going to be a good conversation. I had nothing to do. So I made this statement. I said, if God created sex. To reproduce, right? For for reproductive, what you just said, and you don't want a baby. You don't want to reproduce. Then close your legs. That's all I said. And everybody got mad. Is it like Twitter? No, it's on Facebook. Like I was not expecting to get shared and talked about. And you don't know what you're talking about. Sex is not just for reproduction. One lady said, I love sex and sex is pleasurable, but I shouldn't be punished with a baby. She said she shouldn't. She should not be punished with a baby so that she can experience that pleasure. Mm hmm. Let's let's not straight. Let's not straight too far. I'll come back to that. But what's your response to why men view a woman's high body count different than how he would view his? Because what you said was it wouldn't feel good for a woman to walk. It doesn't feel good. And she slept with him. She slept with him. She slept with him. I think men's response would be you trapped me. Like you were able to lock me down. You were able to secure not trapped. You were able to secure me, right? Where everybody wanted me. You're the one who actually got me. That don't make me feel special, you know what I'm saying? Like I'm in a room with all of the people that you didn't lay down with. I guess what you're saying, but it doesn't make somebody feel special to know that you I'm walking into a room just like it doesn't make a man feel special. Like to walk in a room and be like, oh, you just slept with him. Well, but that's different, though, because with men. It shows you that all those women wanted him. But with men, we don't have to want you to sleep with you. That's true. You know what I'm saying? So it's not as deep that you know what I mean? He slept with her. He probably don't even like her. But for most, the majority of women to sleep with a man, she has to like him on some level. That's true. And I think subconsciously it boils down to that biology piece. Like she has to think he's interesting. He's handsome. He's sexy. Whatever the case, she like him on some level. Well, women fall in love with words whether the words are true or not. So if a man is like giving her any amount of attention and y'all can give it out to me if you want to tell the truth, man gives you any amount of attention over a period of time. You're going to develop in your mind that he likes you, even if he doesn't, because he could be texting the same text to a thousand or five other women that same day. But in keeping up conversation with you, you feel me? And so you're thinking that he's giving you so much attention, but he's really giving it to everybody. But because we fall in love with words because of the lack of validation and just we just love words, right? Women talk more. We don't listen like we really don't listen. So I'm going to say that you might be right. But men know too that women fall in love with words and y'all use those words at the end of the day against us. Because then we fall in love with your words and then we lay down with you. We open ourselves up to you because we felt like, oh, he just listened to us or he messages me every day. And I'm so you're admitting it's a skill. It's a skill. OK, it is a skill. So the dude who walked into the room and he had slept with 30 women is really good at that skill. He is really good at this. OK, the woman who walks into a room and has slept with 30 men, what is she good at? She is good at falling, which you just said, falling for the words. So it's not the same. It's not the same, but it's not fair. It's not fair. OK, let me use it. Let me use this this metaphor instead. Person A. Applied to a bunch of universities. OK. And each university has different standards of scrutiny. He applied to Harvard, Brown, Cornell, you know, St. Princeton, and he got into all the universities. OK. We would assume that guy is really smart. Right. Right. Now, the university. There's a certain university and it lets any and everybody who applies get in. We would assume it's a community college. So is it the same to compare a very intelligent person who is able to get into a bunch of universities or a university that lets anybody in? OK, well, so then it should be fair to say that there is a double standard in a way. Absolutely. And that women are held to a higher caliber because of the value that we're supposed to have, right? Like women are valuable to men. Y'all will do a lot to get some pussy. We're going to be real. We're going to keep it. It is important. That's a fact. And if you went to school with a mother who was stupid, who was cheating off your test, yeah, yeah. And you showed the Harvard on freshman orientation and you see that nigga there. I would I would be mad. Right. Yeah, man. You didn't throw your book back there. I mean, I didn't go here. Don't nobody want to go here. You're like, hey, that's what I'm saying. And that's why it's different from that. OK, I mean, I accept that. I mean, I accept that. I do. I understand. But it's still not fair because, OK, I'm going to tell you why it's not fair because then women proceeded to say we can do just the same thing as men can do. Right. But we can't. But but we have adopted this thought. And I think it's funny because a lot of women that are like pro women's rights, one or not of our ethnicity, right? So it's not a lot of black women, but there are a lot of black women in there. But the ones that are really like going for it, they are other ethnicities are white or whatever, but they're married. They're married women out. And so it didn't make it doesn't make logical sense to me. I was talking to a lady the other day and she was talking about, you know, abortions and women's rights to do it and all of this stuff. And I'm looking at her and I'm like, but the truth is 60 percent of abortions are done by women because they don't want to have a child, right? The percentage is high that we're just being irresponsible sexually. I said, but you're married. Why are you fighting for single women to be whores and you are married? I would say this. I would say this. This standard of scrutiny is lower with white men. And I think it's partly because whatever happens, white men are at the top of the total. So they they can be and you'll see this with, you know, black women, they white men. They're like, you know, he doesn't subscribe to gender roles and this, this and that. Well, he has more flexibility in his expression of masculinity than a white, than a black man. Because for all intents and purposes, he's still a white man. He's still here. He could, he could be the one wearing the apron and cooking the whole night versus black men who for all intents and purposes, since they got here had been boys, right? It's a lot more sensitive to us and we are more in need of that masculine validation. Because again, everything around us is telling us we're not men. Exactly. You know what I mean? So when we encounter a woman who's still holding us to that same flexibility standard of the white man, while simultaneously holding us to pseudo masculine standards that the white men don't have, like we have to have the big ass dick. We have to make the six figures. We have to be the one who can fight and read and form a game and we're preacher, this, this and that. Whereas the white man doesn't have to do all that. So unfortunately to a lot of black men, and I think this is probably what leads to the save yourself movement and things like that. It's like, yo, I have fought against the odds to build up myself to be a good dude, a solid dude by any metric, right? Whether it's money or whatever the case may be. I shouldn't have to settle for this. I shouldn't have to settle for a woman who thinks she can show up looking any kind of way or acting any kind of way or talking to me any kind of way. And as much as like I'm telling men, yo, keep fighting. I understand. I understand. So like even with the body count thing, promiscuity thing, should a Harvard level man, right? Socially, Harvard level black man, should he not be entitled as the wrong word? But is it okay for him to want a woman where he feels like, yo, everybody else couldn't get her?