 What do you want to do when you grow up? What are you gonna do with your life? What career do you want to have? Big questions. Big questions that we get asked a bunch. Friends, parents, grandparents, I want to know what you're doing with your life. You try to give them an answer, but your answer seems to go on and on. Now you're just rambling and the person who asks now knows what a loser you are. Or at least that's what we think. You try to figure it out. You think about going to college or university, but picking a major now seems daunting and prices seem ridiculous. You think about just getting a random job now and moving your way up. Maybe that could be good, but you stop to think for a second and you just wonder what you're doing this for. Do it for the money. You recall one of your well-meaning friends encouraging you to stay at the last job that you didn't like. We do it for the money so we can buy a car, then a house, provide for your future or current family. Money is important in our world. It motivates and pushes people to do more. We think money is important too and some of us choose careers with hopes that we'll be raking in the dough, making the cheddar cheese, bringing in the green. You know what I mean. I mean, I was the same way. Get a secure job that pays the big bucks and you'll be set for life. No more questions from parents, friends, or grandparents. Just request to borrow your cabin while you're away out of the country. But what happens when God calls you into something else? Something less than secure. Something crazy. Growing up, I wanted to make a lot of money and I think a lot of other 13-year-olds wanted to make a lot of money. For me, it wasn't as much about just wanting to drive a fancy sports car or have a big house. It was more about this idea of comfort. I struggled with anxiety throughout my whole life and at 13, 14, you know, 12 years old, this idea that if I had all the money I would ever need. If I had tons of money I wouldn't have to worry about anything because I'd have everything and then I'd be comfortable and then I'd be happy and I could provide for my family. There'd be no problems, right? There'd be no worries at all. For me at that age money was comfort. Money equals comfort and I think for a lot of us, even now we can look in our lives, money does equal comfort in a worldly sense and as I grew up, I began to really take this idea that, wait, money in some ways was my identity. Not that I was making tons of money, but that when I did make money or however much I made, that was what defined me. What kind of job I was in, what career path I was taking, that was my identity. For a long time and even still now, I worked as a custodian and just kind of cleaning and that kind of thing. And in doing that, at a, you know, 15, 16 years old, I was like, okay, well, I'm making money so that means I'm worth a little bit now. I'm worth not even just like in a monetary sense, but in like a human sense. Like I'm worth something because I'm making something. That was my identity and as I got older, maybe a couple different jobs that worth, that human worth, at least in my mind, went up when I made more money. And I know in looking back in that now, obviously that was unhealthy, but I think we sometimes let that creep in into our lives a little bit more or a lot bit more than it should. For me as I got older, this idea that money was my identity was really big, but also this idea that money, when I had money, I was being responsible. I wanted to be responsible. That was one of my highest goals. And even from the time I was a young kid, I would always do my chores, always do all the things that I had been told to do and even above and beyond so because I wanted to seem responsible because that would be, because that's good. That's what you're supposed to be. You're supposed to be responsible. Good people are responsible. And it was amazing what God did when I was about 19 years old because I was in university taking classes that I didn't particularly like on a path that I wasn't sure about and I wasn't particularly into it and God was like you're gonna drop out. You're gonna drop out of university. And at the time, it wasn't because of ministry. At the time, that was a part of it actually, but at the time it was to help my family. At that time, my mom was dealing with breast cancer, which she's now cured of thankfully, but I dropped out of university and to help with the family and I know for me that was kind of a real identity shifting moment. I'd mentioned that money kind of equalled my identity in some ways and I didn't want to be irresponsible. So the idea of dropping out of university seemed insane on the outside and it was a real real soul-searching experience because I was thinking well, if I'm not in university, who am I or what am I? Do I have any worth at all? Those were the big doubts and questions in my mind. But at the same time, I was having all those doubts and questions. I also had a laser focus into what I knew God was calling me to do. It was this moment of absolute confusion and absolute clarity at the same time. I don't know how to even explain it, but I knew that I was supposed to be creating online content to help people become disciples of Christ. And I had been doing that. I've been writing blog posts and things like that. But during that time, I began consistently making videos and it was so right. It was so where God had placed me, like God's time is perfect. I don't need to tell you that, but it was perfect. It was perfect. But at the same time and even to this day, which is now about a year and a bit from that moment, there's still this inkling of, wait a minute, is this irresponsible? Do I have worth because I gave up, you know, going to university for now to pursue ministry? Where do I find that worth? Am I being irresponsible? How do I even interact with money at this point? What is my goal? What am I trying to do? So this is the point of the show where I get real open and honest with you guys. Currently, I am just releasing my book in about a month from now. I've been creating these online videos and just working on daily disciple ministry. That's the ministry that these videos are underneath. You can follow us on Instagram and YouTube. But in doing all that, there's been just a necessity to have a long-term vision for this and also a trust that God is going to provide for this ministry. It hasn't been easy trusting that that will happen. It has been really tough. And today, we're actually taking a big step. I'll explain a little bit more of that later. But in terms of money, that has been one of the most difficult things that I've had to deal with in doing so much work on this ministry is really understanding the... I'm going to say it's sacrifice, but to me, it's not a sacrifice exactly where I'm supposed to be. Exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. So to me, it feels not only does the feelings come and go. Sometimes I feel a little bit disheartened, but I know that this is where God has placed me. So, OK, what's the what's the factor now? Well, I need to live. We can't just push that underneath the curtain like I can continue to do this and, you know, and and not be able to pay bills. That's part of the reason I wanted to make this video is just be honest with you guys and say now it's time to kind of reach out to you guys and to the people around and just see if we can begin to build this thing because it's not about money. It never has been about money. Money does not define our worth or identity. You know what? Like I've chosen to do this, despite the fact that I know it'll be uncomfortable. I know the fact that it'll be seem irresponsible. And I'm OK with that because I think following God is more important than listening to what man has to say. That's a long winded way of saying. And I hope this video has been helpful to you in some way. I feel like I've been kind of rambly, but I'm starting a Patreon and you're going to be able to support this ministry on a monthly basis as a subscription kind of service platform. You'll get bonus content, which I'll explain later and on Patreon.com slash daily underscore disciple. I encourage you to check it out, even if you're not in the position to support me right now, that's all good. Check it out. It's kind of a cool place to look around. Bonus content, as I said, and this is kind of the beginning, a real step of faith in seeing what God can do. And I'd love to continue to be doing this and even better content, more content, bring people on and just make a real impact for his kingdom. That's where my heart is. And I need your help, but I know this is going to be something good and something that is important, that happens now. And and we're trusting in God. It's not about the money. It's about just putting our faith in God and trusting that he'll provide. And that's where my heart is. And I'm just thankful that I get to continue to do this and make videos for you guys. What you can do and I encourage you to is check out the Patreon link down below. Whether you're going to give or not, I encourage you to go there. Also, subscribe to the channel. We'll see you next time, guys.