 Hi guys, welcome back to my channel. Today's video is an adoption video I just came up with this video idea in my head not too long ago And I'm like maybe my audience would like to enjoy another adoption video So today's video is going to be all about when you should tell your child. They are adopted I am not a licensed person to give advice So take this with a grain of salt But I can give my experience and my story and my perspective on the issue This is kind of like for entertainment purposes, but also just a little bit of insight from an adoptee myself So I guess without further ado, let's just get on into the video Before we get into it though real quick make sure you are subscribed and also turn on your post notifications Also follow me on Instagram because it would mean the absolute world to me So cutting to the chase when should you tell your child? They are adopted I think you should tell them as soon as possible I was talking with a co-worker not too long ago about like, oh, when did you find out you were adopted? And I was like I have always known I was adopted. There was not a Situation where like I was sat down and told like honey, you are adopted, you know like or anything Traumatic so my mom what she did was read this book to me called when you're in China And we touched a little bit more on this and show the book in my adoption story video So if you want to check that out, it's in my adoption playlist But she just always read parts of that book to me At an age-appropriate level, I guess I don't really remember because I was still so young But it was always a conversation. It was always like In the forefront of my mind and it was never put on me like a surprise Which I think is horrible. Don't ever do that to your child I think that's just not really fair to your child and it could cause like issues in the future For them. So I wouldn't do that again It's your choice and if you want to handle the situation like that then that's on you But coming from an adoptee standpoint, I think I would want to be like given the honest truth from the get-go rather than Having to have that conversation because because you don't know how people will react to certain news Like maybe they won't care, but also like maybe they will care a lot You kind of just have to read your child and like know them and you will be the best person to decide that but still I think honesty is always the best policy So if the kid is Older though when you adopt them, obviously they know they're adopted but like have an open conversation like to say you know and be supportive and Just let them know that you're there to talk to them if they you know are curious about their birth parents or want to find their birth parents my parents were very Supportive when it came to like trying to find my birth parents if I wanted to they were all on board for it I Personally don't really care to me my birth parents. I would like to see their picture just to know what they look like I think that would be really cool, but other than that It's like I really don't care because we don't speak the same language or share like any Cultural or like religious beliefs probably so there's not like anything. They just like you know donated They just helped create this human form of me, which is great. Like hey, thanks Like honestly, I don't have any deep-seated need or feeling to meet them but that doesn't go for everyone like some people really do want to meet their biological family and Find out what they're like and everything So I think as a adoptive parent in my opinion You should be supportive of your child of finding their birth parents because it doesn't mean they'll love you any less Well, unless you're like a dickhead, then the they'll probably like not like you But if you are like a loving family and everything they will not love you any less It's just they're curious like come on You can't deprive someone of wanting to know something, you know, like if you had a You know aunt that your mom stopped talking to but you still were curious about that aunt Like she shouldn't deprive you of meeting that person that doesn't mean you love your mother any less So take it with a grain of salt and just know that they're just curious and it's not like they will love them more Well, maybe they might like I don't know again It's all individual but like in the grand scheme of things. They're probably not going to choose the other people They barely know them or maybe they do know them again every situation is different but you just need to keep an open mind to What they might be going through or feeling or just their curiosity So don't like take it so personally as an adoptive parent But just be supportive and be there for them and listen to them I you know always had the conversation like my parents were supportive and Would always share to me like if you would like to meet your birth parents Like we would not be Opposed to that we'd be totally supportive and I couldn't thank them enough for that because that just it lets me know As an adoptive child that my parents aren't insecure with our relationship You know, I feel like some parents aren't supportive because they have this fear of Oh, well, you know the adoptive child meets their biological family like I'm kicked to the curb and I'm You know left to hang out to dry or whatever, but that's not the case at all Again every situation is different, but I promise you that's probably not the case I also want to add my parents would always say it was really obvious that I was adopted too because we don't look Alike obviously so I just thought that was funny and wanted to include it now one thing that I will note To never say to an adopted child at all like don't ever say this because it's horrible and I don't know if this is actually been said to anyone, but like I don't know just like pops into my head So this is one thing that you should never say to your adopted child You know sometimes in life you just need to just not say anything kind of like, you know, don't ask don't tell Maybe if they do ask maybe it be honest I don't know, but I'm just saying in my shoes and if my parents like ever said this to me I don't know like I don't know how I'd feel and I think it would be kind of hurtful So never say this to your adopted child So the saying or what could be said to a child is Well, you know your dad and I tried to have children of our own of course wording it like that So like that's already annoying, but we already tried to have children, but we couldn't so we chose to adopt Like that is the most I don't know if this is the right terminology But patronizing thing you could say to like an adopted child like don't say that that's horrible it makes the Adopt you feel like they're the last choice, you know, like well, we wanted to have kids But we couldn't have you know our biological kids. So we ended up with you It's just cold, you know, like I would never want to be told that Luckily, you know my sherry always wanted to adopt and I mean like Two people the same sex can't you know have a Child biologically. I mean obviously science, but like you just don't know everyone's circumstances But I do know that I wouldn't want to be told that as a Adopted child because the adopted child could just sit there and always picture What the biological daughter or son would have looked like of their parents and it's just so sad like why? Traumatize a child even more if they've like come from trauma or started off with trauma it just seems to make the whole situation worse and No, nothing helps that situation. I think it would only hurt unless the family already has biological kids and They wanted to adopt because they wanted to adopt like that's perfectly fine. And you could say yeah, we had you know Sally and Joe and we wanted to add to our family and We decided to adopt because we wanted to you know, of course parents want to adopt But that's only after they couldn't biologically have a child Which I don't know how I feel about that because even though adopting a child is like oh so great It really is like obviously I wouldn't deny that but Adopting and telling the child like oh you are a second choice. That's just not okay to me because I mean if I was told I'm like well like They wanted me but they didn't really really want me because I wasn't like I don't know I know every situation is different But I just highly recommend you do not say that to your adopted child because it just hurts You know and think about how you might feel if you were told that So that is one thing to probably not tell your adopted child. I highly recommend You tell your child they're adopted sooner than later because they're gonna find out eventually And I know that sounds like kind of crazy to say even if you look like them or whatever But I personally believe they will eventually find out So you might as well be the one to tell him so they hear it out of the horse's mouth rather than drunk Joe at a family gathering Accidentally spill the beans because that would not be good So honesty is always the best policy sooner than later depending on the situation, you know, of course but I just think it should be told very very soon and You should show your love and support by being open and Honest with your child. So I hope this video was helpful I know it's kind of short sweet But I just thought I wanted to make this to help any parents out there That have adopted a child or just, you know, people curious about the subject So anyway, I think that's gonna be about it. Make sure to give this video a thumbs up Subscribe to my channel and I'll see you guys in my next video Leave in the comments if you want more adoption videos or what other topics you would like me to talk about I'll see you next time. Bye