 Last week, Eugenia Cooney announced that she's seeing a doctor and getting help and it's awesome. So in this video, since I know a lot, a lot of people struggle with eating disorders, we're going to talk about getting help and should we still be worried after we or someone we know gets help. What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution. And if you're new to my channel, my channel is all about mental health and what I like to do is pull different topics from the YouTube community to try to teach you how to improve your mental and emotional well-being. So if you're into that stuff, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell. And real quick announcement, this video is actually part of a collaboration that I'm doing with my buddy Ryan from the channel Crimson Studios. He is in recovery from his own eating disorder of anorexia. So make sure you go check out his channel and his video on Eugenia Cooney. I actually did a clip over there for him about how people can support somebody in recovery, whether it's eating disorders, mental health addiction, whatever it is. All right. So make sure you check out his video, it'll be linked down in the description, pinned comment and up in the info card. All right. But yeah, anyways, let's get started. So the other day, Eugenia Cooney tweeted out that she was seeing a doctor and this comes on the heels of her making a video of a Kingdom Hearts cosplay, which had a lot of people talking, a lot of people worried as they are, right? And I understand that like her tweet said, please respect my wishes. And like something that I try to talk about a lot on my channel, especially when it comes to YouTubers in general, is like, we have to understand when we grow a following or even just me and you, like, but we have loved ones, right? Like a common thing that we do is say, don't worry about me. Don't worry about me. Don't talk about me. Like when I was dying in a hospital for my addiction, I kept telling people not to worry about me, right? And for me personally, and this isn't about Eugenia, this is about me personally, for me, something I came to realization later, and I'm wondering if you have to, is that like it's, it's not fair for me to tell people who love and care about me not to worry about me. You know what I mean? Like my mother was watching me slowly kill myself, you know, and she was one of my biggest supporters when I finally got clean and sober. But anyways, this video isn't even necessarily about Eugenia Cooney. I just want to give you some context so you can help yourself or potentially help a loved one, not only with an eating disorder, but addiction or mental health, like when it comes to recovery. So one of the common misconceptions about recovery or getting help is that it's this like this instant fix, okay? Like something that when I would teach my clients about their families was people have this perception that like going to get help, it's like fixing your car, right? Like you go in there with like broken like breaks, like you need new breaks and we just tune you up and you're good and you go right out of it, right? And that's not how it works. Like I remember when I got sober, when I got clean, I was actually crazier than when I was on drugs, right? Because those things were like actually calming me down, right? But it was killing me as well. But I got a whole lot worse before I got better. Like this is a process. This doesn't just fix somebody immediately. And that's why we need to keep taking care of ourselves. Now, something I will comment on based off of her tweet is the word voluntary. And again, this isn't about Eugenia. This is in my experience, my personal experience. So the first time I actually went to a treatment center, well, pretty much the only time. I went to a detox facility. And I remember like it was like kind of an ego thing, like I'm going here voluntarily. I'm going here voluntarily. So you need to treat me right. You know, and then when I got in that detox center, I kept hearing everybody saying, I came here voluntarily, I came here voluntarily. And like what I noticed about myself as well as others, that shows like a level of ego. And typically not always, but typically that can mean, you know, a lack of readiness or willingness to change. Because in our brain, we think that we're not that bad. Like since we came in there voluntarily, it's not that bad. And in working in a drug and alcohol rehab for over three years, I saw a lot, a lot of people say this in treatment. Like I'm here voluntarily. I'm here voluntarily. Like even people in a drug court program are there voluntarily. They were given an option. Like you go to jail or you go get help. You know what I mean? So especially when it comes to our mental health recovery, no matter what kind of disorder or illness it is, we need to get humble, which is one of the hardest things. This is why so many people relapse, not just with addiction, but with other forms of mental illness, eating disorders, anxiety, depression, all sorts of things is a lack of willingness and humility. Okay. So every day, I have to remember that I have to keep working on this thing. I am no better than I am no less than anybody. I am a person with a sickness and I have to work on this constantly. It doesn't matter how I ended up where I was, whether it's voluntary or involuntarily, quote unquote, involuntarily, what matters is, is that I have a sickness and it is my responsibility that I need to take care of it. All right. But there are some things that I do in order to not only relapse like on alcohol or drugs, but to slip back in to a deep dark depression or my extreme, extreme anxiety. I've been diagnosed with a generalized anxiety disorder. And if I don't do what I'm supposed to do, then all these things can come back, right? Like something I try to teach people, even all of you, like I am not the word of God, right? I'm trying to give you tools so you can work on yourself. Like at any given moment, you know, I can make a few bad decisions. I live in Las Vegas and I can score some alcohol or drugs like that. And then what good am I to you anymore? Right? So I can't ask you to rely on me completely. I am just another sick person trying to stay well just like so many of you, but it takes a lot of work. Same thing with my anxiety and depression. There are many things that I do, which I try to teach you, right? I am now using better help online therapy. Okay? I have medications, not narcotic medications. I'm on Lexapro for symptoms of anxiety and depression, you know, meditation, writing, videos, talking to my support group. My mental health is so, so, so important to me because even if it's just anxiety or depression, like slipping back into that, I am no longer useful or as useful to my beautiful girlfriend Tristan, my little boy in the other room screaming, playing Fortnite while I'm trying to record this video. Right? And I'm not of use to all of you. So this is why I have to work on this. Now, don't get me wrong. Even with all the work that I put in, I still have bad days. I still have bad days, but something I've learned throughout my recovery is that bad days will pass. All right? So all I can do is go to my metaphorical toolbox of all the tools I've acquired over the years and try to work on these things again. All right? So that is my story and how I maintain my recovery from addiction, depression, anxiety, and being an all-around mess. But I actually wanted to bring a surprise guest to talk about his eating disorder, his signs of relapse, and it is none other than the guy I'm collabing with, Ryan from Crimson Studios. Hey, Chris. Thanks for having me. My name is Ryan and I run a drama social media channel called Crimson Studios, which makes me a perfectly qualified individual to talk about eating disorders. No, but in all seriousness, I have suffered from body dysmorphia and have dealt with anorexia and eating disorder for the majority of my adult life. And as exciting as it has been, there have been moments where I have relapsed. I have not always been able to keep my weight up. And there were multiple times where, in fact, I would recover and then at some point near in the future lose my progress. And this is something that a lot of people with eating disorders and other types of addictions go through. So Chris wanted me to talk about the three biggest signs of somebody going into relapse that you should watch out. One of the first ones and in specific to me, one of the biggest ones that I had to deal with was going back into my anorexic behaviors. I was going to therapy. I had been meeting with a personal trainer for many months. I was feeling good. I had gotten back into the gym. I was working out again and I was feeling pretty cocky about myself. And I just decided, you know, I don't need to go to therapy anymore. I don't need to talk to this person. She obviously doesn't know anything more than she can tell me and I'm paying her $60 an hour. So I'm really just wasting my money at this point. Big mistake as I found out later. What I noticed after I stopped going to therapy and other things is these behaviors began revamping themselves in my brain because I felt like I was getting better, which was really just myself lying to myself. I started going to the gym more and more and more often for longer and longer amounts of time. Little did I know it, but I was really redressing and not, not moving forward. Another sign that someone should look out for is developing the obsession with food and an obsession with weight, which is something I still deal with day to day. Like I constantly think about food at the time when I had started regressing and going into these extra exercises and all those things. This voice got louder and louder. I would constantly think about food more and wait more. I would weigh myself multiple times a week. I would constantly pinch my stomach. All of these things would actually lead to the biggest relapse moment. The biggest sign I can think of and one that really affected me was trouble feeding myself. I had gotten into a really good routine with eating. I had a regimen that I was on, but when I was in this regressive state, I didn't know it. I started counting my macros more carefully and all these things. And at the time, my family was planning a trip to go to London and visit my family overseas. Now, when you are in a very regimented regime and you're tracking calories and all these things that I had been doing, going on a trip for several weeks where I had no control, it really mentally freaked me out. And when I had already quit therapy because I thought I didn't need it, I already began to exercise more and I was already becoming obsessive over my weight and what foods I was eating again, this was really the cherry on top. And when we went on this trip, not only did I just relapse, I didn't lose just one pound or two pounds. I ended up losing about 25 to 30 pounds in a matter of a few weeks. We would walk 10 miles a day. I wouldn't eat anything at all, at all. I remember walking through the airport and I could actually feel pain in my hip joints to recap. If you are seeing a regressive state, if the person that is dealing with this problem is feeling a little bit cocky, feeling like they don't need more help, they're feeling like they've gotten all the help that they can get from someone, I would really encourage them to keep seeking help, keep going to therapy. If they are starting to weigh themselves more, if they are starting to pinch their body or obsessively try to calculate food numbers, ease their signs that they could possibly be going into a relapse. And for me specifically, a really bad relapse. And I hope that this gives you some vision of what that looks like. So thank you, Chris. Sorry that was depressing. All right. Ryan, thank you so much for coming over and talking about relapse warning signs. It's very beneficial to have somebody who has personally gone through relapse talk about these things because I know thousands of you watching this video either struggle with an eating disorder or are in recovery. And to have a first person account of noticing what took us back to that behavior that led to the relapse is key. It is key for all forms of mental illness. All right. So what I want you to do down in the comments below, let me know what your relapse warning signs are when it comes to not taking care of what other mental health issues you might have. All right. But anyways, don't forget, this is a collab with Ryan from Crimson Studios. I did a guest clip over on his channel for his new Eugenia Cooney video. And it is basically about how loved ones or even us as a community can help somebody like Eugenia Cooney. All right. But anyways, anyways, I wish Eugenia all the best. And something I will comment on that I hope for is that she does keep an open dialogue about her recovery because something that all of us can do is empower others, encourage others and give others hope by sharing our own recovery experience. All right. But anyways, that's all I got for this video. If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up. If you're new, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell and a huge, huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on Patreon. You're all amazing. And I just made a post because you all get first dibs on suggesting topics for my new book, Rewire Your Anxiety. All right. So go check that out. If you want to become a patron, click the top right there. Thanks again for watching. I'll see you next time.