 The great thing about the ancient alien theory is the fact that we can compare modern achievements with stories from our ancient past. And so, if today we're able to create a two-headed dog with six legs, is it possible that a similar creature existed thousands of years ago? And I say... Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of the PCP. I'm the best guy ever and welcome to my unidentified podcast. No one knows what it is. I am here with Tom Oliver. Aliens built the pyramids. They genetically engineered us human beings. They crashed in Roswell. We use their down ship to create microprocessors. And that's why Intel is a thing. Alienware computers are actually alienwares. The proof is in the pudding. Hippocrates here. Uh, Nate... Wait, you said something. Cut the whole podcast out. I made a mistake with what I said. I was going to make a joke, but I said the whole thing wrong like three times in a row. Just kill me. I'll cut myself out of the podcast and put like a beep boop noise. We'll get back to that. Lethal Aurora Mage is here. Do we have ghost aliens? That is the question. I think they might be the same thing. And of course, Monty wears tiny hats. Well, guys, I'm in a signal from outer space right now. Oh my God, I'm going to type down wow on my paper because they like World of Warcraft. This is a wow signal, but that's World of Warcraft now. We really have evolved since we were those aliens long ago. Well, everybody, we're talking about aliens today. We're talking about the most powerful race on the planet Earth. The most benevolent beings with their compassionate eyes. I am a paradox. I love Steven Universe. I am everything. They're everything to me. I just want to go on record as saying, my absolute favorite emoji is without a doubt the alien face emoji. And I copyright it. It is my property. Every time you use it, you owe me one American dollar. But okay, so let's actually check out these urban dictionary definitions. We've got a double for everybody. Oh, damn. So number one, we've got aliens. Okay, aliens. Wait, wait. Did we explain what the PCP is? Oh, we totally forgot. I thank you for reminding me. So the PCP, everybody, is a podcast of a bunch of internet content creators who got together and they just have fun. They just love goofing. And we love aliens. We love aliens. It's a big proponent of alien culture. We feel more related to aliens than you fucking disgusting, normie humans out there listening to it. So that's why we decided to talk about our spirit brethren today. People always say, does morality come from within the soul of man? Or does it come from a higher being? Or does it come from God? Or the third option, did it come from aliens? That's what I want to get into. Okay, but here, urban dictionary, give us some information about what the fucking aliens even is. Okay, here we go. Top definition, people from outer space. Generally, peace, loving and wise, they've come to Earth because we've got Velcro and they love that shit. That's the thing. The example is terrible, so I'm not going to read it. But then our other definition here is UFO. Okay, UFO, abbreviation for unidentified flying object. The USAF defines a UFO as anything that relates to any airborne object which by performance, aerodynamic characteristics or unusual features does not conform to any currently known aircraft or missile type or which cannot be identified as a familiar object. Okay, well thanks point, Dexter, for the technical definition. So the United States Air Force just confirmed the existence of aliens if they have a definition on record. Is that true? I mean... How so? Because you just said the USAF, right? If they have a definition for it, they must acknowledge that it's a thing that can happen. If it can happen, it means it's real. If it can happen, it is real. It sounds like... I watched Ancient Aliens, alright? I know exactly how you have to do this logical chain of how aliens work. I never once watched Ancient Aliens. Oh, is the mage going? Yeah, like when in Google Docs when I type teleport, it corrected as if like it's not a word, but when I type aliens, it's a word. Therefore it exists. Oh shit! It's in the database, it's real, probably built by aliens manipulating us right now. Aliens are real. I fucked it up again, I fucked up. Oh, there's a static that cut into my... I'm back now, I'm fine. Aliens are interrupting your soft process. They're scrambling my brain making me not funny and the audience is just hearing static, so it's fine. They don't want to let you talk. Let's just cut to the chase here. Aliens are real. Okay, okay, they may be real. Have they visited the Earth? Yes, they've seen Steven Universe. Oh, you got me. The Sniepel are here and they're going to fuck us up. My opinion is that the aliens are objectively real, but the only ones we've seen have been really funny and the other ones that we haven't seen yet. We're just waiting for that. The fact of the matter is that aliens are real and they're illegal and they're crossing the border every day and Trump's going to fix that shit! Stop making fun of him! Is that like a mean to use as a word? Is that a negative implication? No, it's not. Because now it's undocumented immigrants. They keep changing it. I guess it's just like George Carlin talked about the softening of language every time. Because an alien, in that terms, is just someone who is living in the country but is not a resident of that country. Like Phil Cullen's famous song, Legal Alien. Like all of the fucking aliens that crashed here in Roswell are now being held prisoner in Area 51 as we reverse the gender technology. I think they were forcibly bred to reproduce so we could continue to study them. I wouldn't put it past us. Maybe aliens are space elves and they're undying. That's very possible. Who do you think produces more pre-come? Alph or ET? Definitely Alph. Alph gets around. I mean, have you seen his nose? I mean, come on. That's not his nose. So the universe is really big, right? It's really, really, really big. It's a few. I don't know about that. It's really, really, really fun. I've looked into this a bit. I've watched Star Trek. It's hilarious. I've seen it. Yeah, it's really goofy out there. So, okay, because the universe is so big and human beings have explored and can see such a tiny little baby-sized percentage of it. So, you know, as the discussion goes, as the argument goes, there's so many opportunities for life out in the cosmos. And like when you get into this stuff, like immediately, like religious people think that like there's something magical and special about Earth that like, you know, God created man in his own image and like made us here and shaped the universe around us. So yeah, like God created like the entire fucking universe to house one little basically insignificant planet here that nobody gives a fuck about that we can't do anything with, just like a goof. Well, I'd say that was inefficient. I don't think anyone here is like doubting the possibility of like humanoid aliens in the universe in general. I just want to make the point for the listeners out there. For any doubting Thomas' they will be deleted as will Tom from this podcast immediately. This was my topic idea. You can't delete me. That's true. Did you know? Actually, the opposite of a doubting Thomas. You're the woke Thomas. Exactly. Here's a... I'm taking that term back. I'm fucking... I'm suing the federal government to get custody of that term. Bastards. Again, what were you saying? Here's an article thing that I read and I have no idea whether it's true. But did you know guys that there's like life in our solar system on Mars? Oh my God. In like the under the surface oceans on Mars people have found small little bacteria. It's much of getting invaded by aliens right now. Stop, please. Is that what's happening? Please stop them. Please. They're trying to... They're doing everything they can to disrupt this podcast so that the word does not get out that we're under their shit and we know they're among us every fucking day. I was about to announce something but, you know, I was interrupted and now my brain is like scrambled like I remember what I was going to say. Here, maybe this image will help you out. Check out this. That's a good one. Just so everyone knows, we are constantly like in our chat dumping more alien images just to keep us woke as possible while we're at... I just Google searched funny cartoon aliens and we're just posting all of the cool images like I found just rolling down an image search. Maybe we'll remember to post a link to all of these images. No, you can play along. Just type in funny cartoon aliens and just laugh at them while we're laughing. Yeah. Alright, continue. Okay. You know, Tom posts a picture here that makes it a good argument. It's like, okay, if aliens weren't real and didn't visit Earth, how did they build everything in prehistoric Earth? How did they... Why were they responsible for every major achievement of humanity, you know, up to the invention of the cuckold? The pyramids... The blocks of the pyramids could not be carried by men on their shoulders. They just couldn't do it. It was just too heavy. You really think that a bunch of fucking people dragged multiple-ton blocks across the sand? No. Aliens did it. The amount of precision that the pyramids are built with, you can't even do that today with modern technology. You think about your... It's your life. You're gonna say it's your life. Real life. Do you think a bunch of fucking monkeys with sticks can make that shit? Do you think a bunch of Minecraft characters just build those? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The true facts all point to aliens just being really swole, and they carried them on their shoulders because they're really strong. And then, instead, they didn't have spaceships. They just jumped away from our planet to another one. They just had very strong legs. Okay, let me ask you this. Does anyone have any good reason to believe that aliens were actually on Earth ever? Is there any justification, other than like, oh, they must have been here. People search the Anunnaki. Yeah, yeah. God damn it. What is it? What is it? The Anunnaki that shit's fucking real, dude. Okay. All of the ancient creation myths are actually just misinterpretations of alien visitation. Look, watch ancient aliens. It lays it all out. Shit's fucking real as fuck, all right? Everything that happened in the world is aliens. Have you seen all of ancient aliens? I don't know how much there is. There's like... I've seen quite a bit. Hundreds. And I've seen it all. Holy shit. Is it always that guy? Is it that one dude? It's not always that guy. You know what the interesting thing is? Okay, I'm gonna blow your fucking mind right now. This is how I know that ancient aliens is legit. All right, so I just linked... No, no, no. Listen, this is some real fucking shit right now, okay? This is a conspiracy theory that's gonna blow your mind to shit. All right, so everybody knows what the ancient aliens guy looks like, right? Everybody knows that. All right, people at home, play along with me here, all right? You're about to have your fucking brain expanded. You're gonna be like, whoa, you're about to... You're about to reach level 7 Christ consciousness. Exactly. This is good. You're gonna get at least two levels of Christ consciousness. Okay. Expansion here. So Google ancient aliens guy. Go to images. Put that in your brain. Now go to Google images and Google search Babylon 5. All right, that's a television show, okay? Babylon 5 Centauri. And then be amazed that the Centauri aliens look exactly like the ancient aliens guy. It's the exact same thing. They're literally the same. Oh no. These fucking guys. Is that a fucking coincidence? No, it's not. I even see pictures of him posing with pictures of them. He's trying to tell us something. He knows shit, all right? Ancient aliens is 100% legit. Babylon 5 is a realistic account of aliens and how it's going to go down in the future. This shit is real. It's all fucking real. He's not the only one. Look at this shit. I'm seeing some major similarities here. Kim Jong-un or whatever. They're among us, dude. And you know what the fun in Babylon 5? The Centauri are the closest alien species to humans because they live in Alpha Centauri. That's their star. That's how it's good. It's all coming together, dude. This shit is fucking real. I mean, mathematically speaking, they're the most likely to be the real aliens that fucking steal my parking spot every day at work. There's other fuckers. What are you going to do, man? Sometimes you just got to let the aliens have you. My favorite alien. My favorite alien is the guy from Doctor Who who is like, he wears a suit. The doctor. No, no, not that guy. He wears a suit and like, if you look at him, you're like, oh, God, it's a scary guy. But then if you turn around, if you're not looking at him, you completely forget his entire existence and the fact that he was just there. And if you turn around, you're like, oh, my God, it's a scary guy. And then you turn around again. You're like, wait a minute. Why am I here? Oh, my God, it's a scary guy. Oh, no, there's nothing there. And his name is Ben Sane. Exactly. That's my... If anyone knows that Doctor Who alien, that's like a real cool one. Wait, is that the one... That's the one that like teleports, like the weeping statues or whatever? No, no, no. No, no. Those are like angels or something. I'm going to type in Doctor Who... The Europeans immediately jump in and correct us on our lack of Doctor Who lore knowledge. My favorite aliens are the alien kids, and the recent album song is their debut album, Alien Wrap. Songs about life are packed lumped by the alien kids, where they wrap about their alien food and the ways in which they process it. And also about education reform. Yeah. I'm with you on that. My favorite aliens? I'm quite partial to... You know that blue guy, who like a whole narrative was built around him from that like, I'm blue, I'm blue, I'm blue, I'm blue. Oh, no, no. I was going to say that. Oh, you like... Okay, that guy's got like a name and a lore and a huge backstory and like all kinds of tie-ins. Can we just go on record though that as cool as that guy is the best blue aliens to ever exist are the aliens from Innocella 555. Come on. Oh, yeah, those. I do love them intensely. They got a bit more depth to them. There's a lot of fan and lore around this blue dude, but I like going direct to the source with the canon lore. That's where I like to live. Yeah, Gib, go on. I was trying to remember the name of this 80s alien kid movie. Kid alien movie. And I can't remember what it is. It's like a group of kids and there's a cool one and there's a nerdy one. And he has a computer and he types on the computer and he makes like an anti-gravity bubble and then they build a spaceship and they use the computer and make a bubble and they go into space because the kid was like getting dreams of like alien technology. And then they go into space and then they get to the spaceship and the alien's just a goofy fucking plastic weirdo in a suit and they have a fun time and then the alien's dad comes by and he said, have you been talking to the humans again? And he's like, I'm sorry, dad, but in alien so you don't know that's exactly what they're saying. But it's probably like, you can infer. And then the kids go home and what the fuck is that movie? I really like it. Home Alone 3. Journey to Big Water. I don't know. Guys, I have something really fucking important. Go search media aliens and you will see some crazy fucking images. Do that. Do that to viewers. Media aliens. You see that picture? Bill O'Reilly? You see like a movie poster? I don't see Bill O'Reilly. Cowboys and aliens. Dude, the aliens from Cowboys and Aliens are so fucking scary because they're with cowboys. I like this extreme UFOs and aliens ones. Okay, well, this is all great and all, but I wanted to ask you guys a specific question. Yeah. And it's that, okay, if aliens are real and they visit Earth, should they be allowed to kill human beings? Should they be allowed to wipe out humanity if they deem that we are inferior and not worthy of ascending to a galactic civilization? Explorers, 1985. Okay, that's the one. That's the one. Okay, that's the one. All right. Anyway, why would they be able to? What if they are able to assess that humanity will advance to some, like, stage where it could be a threat? Like, you know, like in Mass Effect, right? Like the reapers may or may not be some sort of like white blood cell that wipes out, you know, like, civilizations that advance too far or something like, in Die Buster and Gun Buster. That same idea is present where like humanity is growing and reaching out to the stars and whatnot and the space monsters are thought to maybe be some sort of like white blood cell that wipes out, like, civilizations where they get to advance and they don't really explore why that happens but perhaps one possible reason could be too much stuff happening out in the real world could fuck some shit up. Could maybe, I don't know, cause problems. I'm thinking from the perspective of humanity, fuck that entirely. That's just a cock mentality to just bend over and not expand throughout the universe cause, oh, maybe we'd kill some things and do some bad stuff. Fuck you. I mean, it would be very hypocritical of them considering that they're out in space and now killing stuff. Well, it's, you know, it really is just like the whole antispiral argument from Gurren Lagen that the antispirals... What's this about white blood cells? I mean, seriously. They... The aliens have green blood. This doesn't even make sense to them. They're about the black blood cells. But, uh... Yeah. So, like, the antispirals in Gurren Lagen, their whole deal is they stopped the spiral guys. The spiral just represents evolution and growth of humanity and whatnot. And the antispirals, they deliberately put a cap on themselves so they cannot go any higher and they gave themselves the job to squash, you know, anything out there that gets too... that starts growing too much and could get out of control. And they were proven wrong that they were doing the bad thing and it was done. Well, I mean, to be fair, to be fair, one of the things is it doesn't actually tell you that they were, in fact, wrong, but what it gives you is a... I don't know. We got punched in the face pretty good at the end. He did get punched real hard. I feel that was definitely some subtextual, uh... thing there. You're not wrong. A little bit of subtext. It's clear where the intents lie, but, like, it allows a degree of ambiguity where it is true that the human beings may, in fact, fuck some shit up, but I actually prefer that they don't confirm that everything works out perfectly. Yes, we agree. Instead, it leaves you on this note of that everyone, like, agrees that, like, okay, we are all going to work specifically to maximize happiness, freedom, and avoid this catastrophic thing that could come with too much of either of those first ones. So, like... Well, I would not let any aliens fucking tell me what to do or my buddy's here on Earth because that's thought crime. I think it's bullshit. You can... Instead of... If you were an alien race full of advanced technology and you were able to travel through the stars and all this shit and you could make some sort of calculated sort of projection on the future of humanity and you thought that it was going bad. Instead of being, like, well, you guys are going to fuck up in a couple centuries so you're dead now. I'd be like, this is an opportunity to kind of guide this society towards a better understanding. I think just the act of interstellar contact would fundamentally shift the progression and trajectory of human interest dramatically. So I think just by being introduced to the concept of aliens we would change our priorities and the way society interacts in general simply from that fact. And I think it would be hoovan upon aliens if they thought that we're going bad to use their position to try and help. Basically, they need to be the America of the galaxy and intercede and spread space democracy everywhere and do nation-building. That's interesting because Star Trek deals, as you know, with this very issue and it's the Prime Directive and of course in Star Trek First Contact the movie based from the next generation in which they go back in time to the moment where so human beings and Star Trek develop their own warp drive which is the technology you really need for faster than light travel in order to be a force in the galaxy and in the universe outside of just your own little solar system. And what happened is as soon as they activated their warp drive they were detected by some nearby Vulcans who don't live too far away and then they came down and were like oh hey humans let's be friends now and it was through that that they developed the Federation and grew into Starfleet and all that good stuff that happened afterward. So the best case scenario is Star Trek. Star Trek and Starfleet and you know, all that cool stuff that's the best case scenario but there are like it is entirely possible that like what if the humans just met the Klingons first or something and just some not even the Klingons but something even worse like the fucking Borg and it fucks them up real bad and they get you know whatever whatever kind of bad things happen to them I mean I'm not even advocating for anything here I'm just expressing like alien issues hashtag alien issues just alien stealing our jobs crushing the working class alien issues indeed I think it's retarded and stupid and frankly you should feel bad for even suggesting anything like that because aliens are probably not going to have any well I'm not saying they won't at all but they might not have any philosophical insights whatsoever it's possible they might just be like fucking like a dog or something and they'll just be beasts of the land that's silly the only an alien couldn't get here without a certain level of like development sociological I'm saying if we like I'm not saying that like if we meet aliens if we meet aliens then it's very possible that there are just like thousands of planets that are just like full of just bum fuck retard dominant species that have no real abilities whatsoever and so like I don't know like and even if there is like a highly developed you know species that gets to us first it's not guaranteed that they will have any sort of of the same sort of like you know democracy or ideas such as that there's no absolutely no way to tell that they will have anything even resembling that whatsoever and so I don't think like if an alien species does meet us there's no way to tell if it will even like know what like killing is because life just might work so different on that planet because you know all of our ideas is built on how life is on Earth but if there's just some weird fucking crazy planet there's no way to know what its needs or wants are everything will have needs or wants I hear what you're saying but I think there are some basic biological foundations that make a lot of things like life versus death well life versus death for example I think is a pretty clear cut one that any alien that advances to the point where like they can you know travel through the stars and whatnot I think we'll have some fundamental understanding of like what life is and probably respect it I mean they might operate in a society that just like works on total enslavement trolls trolls or trolls there you go yeah where alternative trolls even that different from normal humans what were their distinguishing characteristics they were super fucking strong they had crazy like like PSI powers and they were super fucking violent and they like killed everyone for like looking at the bad and there was a really rigid like like India caste system and then car cat just like was best friends with Dave how come he didn't just like kill Dave that was after like that was after a while that was after a lot of homosexual propaganda so what you're telling me is hashtag not all trolls yeah not all trolls okay alright there we go there we go yeah it's all trolls fuck all trolls hate them all you can all burn every troll was an MMM and fucking one of them had a bullet in them would you bite the bullet ass all died I'm gonna say yes I'm gonna say yes I'm very happy that homestuck is part of this conversation I just want to say that I didn't really have like a point I just remembered what's your favorite homestuck alien no John Egbert yeah it's mine as well hey so okay let's so does anyone have any personal experience like has anyone ever come up to you and said like take me out of a fucking alien and then rectally annihilated you you know like a story like that I'm interested in that sort of thing do you want to know about the story of the alien that got away yes absolutely so when I was a little kid I loved aliens I loved space I loved science class we were talking about like the solar system and astronomy and all that shit and it was really cool and I loved science and I was gonna be a science man until they started putting math in my science and then I was like so I was at the the carnival the carnival was in town and so I was and I was all about aliens and this was back like in 1990 whatever old olden times before Munchie was even a twinkle in his dad's eye and I wasn't a twinkle in my dad's eyes ever since exactly he explains everything so I'm at this carnival and I'm playing the games and stuff and I decide there's this big alien prize and I was like that's what I want so it was typical like little green alien but he wore like a hoodie on and it was a cool thing and I was like that's what I want and I spent all day trying to win this alien prize at this game I don't remember what a game it was and I got it and I felt like the coolest guy in the entire world it was big it was like 18 inches tall it was one of those big hard to get prizes you are literally paradox I resonated with that scene a lot and this story takes a tragic turn here though because I brought it home and I brought it to my mom and my grandmother and they're both very religious and they thought aliens were the devil so they refused to let me have it and I was like no I worked for this this is the result of my labor this taught me a lesson about capitalism in the world how dare you take this from me but they bribed me they bribed me because they were like alright you capitalist pig we will give you that toy from lost in space that other space movie that you really like right now if you give us this and I was like but I won this and they're like yes but we're gonna be the government incentives giving you things for free if you vote democrat we're like okay so I voted democrat I got rid of it because and they made me feel bad because I thought my soul was gonna burn in health forever for having this alien toy that I won and I never saw it again and every time I see the alien wear logo I'm like there he is he's getting on to bigger things yeah he became CEO of a computer parts we can all just agree that like the little stereotypical like a green alien guy like the big ass eyes it's like the pinnacle of graphic design and it's what humanity has been reaching for their entire lives and that's the only thing that matters have you guys ever seen that post there was a post of like some photos of like claimed real photo of a gray alien with eyes and like you know like the small lips and everything whatever and then someone drew over it quickly as a sketch and then again it was the perfect proportions of an anime girl I'm just saying dude it's a conspiracy of I've ever seen anime girls I'll try and find it I'll try and look for it actually you know what that exactly reminds me there was a chapter in Frank and Fran where there is a which is this horror like monster surgery this particular chapter is about so the main character, Matarake Fran Matarake Fran people just come to her and ask for crazy surgeries cause she's like a god of surgery and she can just literally do anything including like bring the dead back to life sometimes like she's just nuts so like in this case like a famous actress approaches her and is like Fran you're famous help me okay there's a guy that I love that I want to like marry date etc etc the thing is though he's not into 3 jump pig disgusting he's not into that so what I need you to do okay there's the image that he boasts it's fucking awesome so what I need you to do Fran is make me look like a fucking anime girl IRL do whatever you gotta do to my fucking body to make it happen so like she like shortens her limbs she like okay so what she does with her brain is this is fascinating so the anime babes have big old heads she replaced her skull with a gigantic like dome thing and it like has her brain suspended by like by wires inside the thing with like a big a big cavern I know it's fucked up like Fran is a fucked up series but I love it but the culmination of this is that like slowly when she becomes more and more anime she uh like her eyes getting big and all kinds of crazy shit increase anime there was just a knob yes there was a knob and she cranked it she was getting overdrive here so like Nia is to say her body was getting super fucked up the whole time so like she has to like wear a wig now and like she has to like do maintenance on her body and shit because she's a fucking freak now but like ultimately what happens is like the guy does start to love her because like she is like his anime babes yay he's doing it so like that happens and then like I think they either get married they're like I don't know they're together for a night and it's like and so the guy's laying in bed and she's like and then like as she like as he turns like see her climbing onto the bed there's like a light shining from outside the window and like her wig has fallen off and like all her clothes are off and you can see her body and she just looks exactly like one of these fucking grey aliens exactly the fucking same and like it's pretty much like the climax of the whole arc you know what this means dude this means that anime is an alien plot to make us want to fuck them to make us sympathetic to the alien cause exactly the Japanese have been taken over by aliens by the way I just want to I just want to say when did when did like fucking Astro Boy come out and shit what year was that? the 30s the 20s I can't remember the 40s a while ago not the 20s no cause Disney started like the 10s of the 20s so it was later than that I think it was like I'd say like the 40s or something I don't know whatever around there I just want to say in the background of my audio is like a very like consistently weird booming base that's just my alien spaceship don't worry about it wait wait no no no okay this is some real shit right now so I'm gonna drop a conspiracy theory Christ consciousness of other level Roswell at the UFO incident in mid 1947 at United States Air Force's balloon crashed in a ranch near Roswell, New Mexico yeah okay Wikipedia keep telling us that in 1947 Roswell five years later in 1952 Astro Boy is released what do you think it is? Mega Man came out that pod Mega Man came out that pod wow he came out guys my favorite monster my favorite alien of all time I can't decide if it's the Flatwoods monster or it's the Hopkinsville's goblin they're both incredible those are excellent choices here's the original depiction of the Flatwoods monster by the way okay I dig it he's impressive this is Waluigi he's a Waluigi in a wedding dress he just wants to be loved no but the fucking but the real the canonical version is fucking dope look how cool it is yeah the Flatwoods monster I don't know if it's the Hopkinsville's goblin he's just a little fucking guy who's an asshole fuck him dude do you know the story of the Hopkinsville's goblin? I have no idea basically these two fucking in the middle of fucking nowhere I forget where New Jersey I think anywhere in the world it's gonna happen to you these fucking hillbilly fucking retards fuck you if you farm we're in their house and these little gray goblin fucking ass these fucking sable eyes came out they started popping in and out of windows playing peekaboo and shit making fun of these people making fun of them being real assholes and playing pranks one of the dads walked out and the door was slightly open and he walked in the other room and then a bucket fell on his head fucking mean they were just pranksters they're just mean people they're jerks and fuck you Hopkinsville goblin you're mean that's why I like them because they're really prank that sounds good I think mage was trying to say something before mage I wasn't but I had something in mind so maybe you read my mind okay but first I have to open the door for my cat sorry well in the meantime while she's doing that for a second everyone look at the greatest alien who ever lived his name is Jiren he is from Dragon Ball Super and he is canonically stronger than god proving that aliens are superior to god and my god he is the best of all time also he looks exactly like me in every way alright alright okay now we're just projecting I'm serious look at my newest video where I'm talking about Star Trek I put a picture of him up it looks exactly like me wearing my sunglasses I'm just saying okay babe okay well it's not that big of a story but you know when you asked like if anyone had some sort of experiences or whatever so one time I was around 10 to 12 or so just a little mage running around late in the evening without supervision I was with a friend at that time it was like really late in the evening and it was almost dark I think like the sun was almost completely down we were both going home and we were near his house and just the corner of my eye I spotted something and then I looked up at the sky not like directly above me but like in the horizon they were like several lights sort of flashing and something was flying by before disappearing behind a building and I didn't know what it was because it was very I mean literally a UFO I'm not implying it was alien UFO but like we both saw it and we didn't know what it was and we ran towards the horizon to see if we could see it behind the building but by the time we got to the building it was already out of sight and I told my parents about it and they said oh it could have been a plane or something because planes have lights on when they're flying in darkness and stuff but like it looked too close to the ground and like the lights were too big and spaced a bit differently from the planes and also like the plane had like no real reason to be flying over there because we didn't have an airport in my city and we never saw planes ever fly like now we do but back in those days when I was little we never got planes flying over our places like I'm glad you brought that up what year was this like over 10 years ago I think was it on September 11 I'm just saying just checking in I was going to say depending on how old you are but if it's only like 10 years ago probably not it might have been some sort of Russian thing possibly since I know you were close to there I mean it could have been like you think you only got independence from Russia like before I was born oh really are the Russians aliens maybe Putin is superior to all the lifeforms on the planet I need to interject here because I'm on thealiens.wikia.com fan page and I'm looking at the Anunnaki and I'm in some deep shit right now alright check it out he's in hot water right now check this shit out Anunnaki general information whole world habitat body type vagina humanoid sapience level super behind the scenes information universe real there's a lot of aliens we aren't even going to get into the aliens that populate the imaginary universe too many to go into the accompanying picture really sells this whole thing it's uh it's some great a shit let me tell you oh shit wow are those the aliens those big bearded mother fuckers figures believe to be the Anunnaki I believe it's some sort of sculpture or artistic representation the guy kind of viewers if you want to understand what this looks like if nobody edits this in cough then imagine the main figure is basically just imagine like the representation of Sargon of Akkad with googly eyes that's pretty much what we're looking at right here right confirm by the way I just want to point out how amazing it is that there is a category for like universe real versus not real like think of how many entries there are in here that depict universes that are not real this is why you gotta watch the ancient aliens that's just the beginning of the fucking rabbit hole for all of this shit it's a huge article it goes on forever let's just throw out the concept of real versus not real cause that's garbage anyway never meant anything once we get that out of the way then we can get into the real shit where you are right now when I was a young lad you know I was a very smart boy you know I hadn't actually read the great Gatsby I hadn't actually read the great Gatsby but I imagined that I had you know I was a smart cookie anytime aliens were brought up I would immediately be like that's probably not true haha it's probably like this and that and every time my little brothers would like say whoa what's that that's a blink and light moving across the sky and say it's an airplane it's not real no it's not alien you know so I was I never had like a time in my childhood where I believed anything because I think I was told they weren't real before I had an experience like that but um yeah like I thought I was real smart and stuff so I would I would love rationalizing things in my head like oh that I don't know how that that could be but let me think of the ways that it could be fake and you know I would be that kid so that yeah yeah I ruined my my little brothers lives dude you know they now don't believe you know the most important aliens in my life are the aliens from chicken little because they were so fucking gay and they're like you destroy they mess up that guy's fucking baseball game no I can I can raise you one better do you know what the import most important aliens are the flattlings from chex quest those guys yeah yeah hell yeah do you remember the weapon you had when you ran out of ammo you had a spoon and you scooped them up because they were goo I do remember that that was some real shit dude it was absolutely devastating it deeply impacted the way I eat cereal to this fucking day I remember I remembered something um my favorite alien is not whatever I said it is in fact a very specific comic in the alien like the xenomorph alien whatever comic universe the alien series like the first movie is pretty good but this comic is like the best alien story ever and if you type in alien comic saxophone you will see the image I'm talking about I don't know you sold me on this it's not actually funny it's just like really cool it's the ending of the comic the saxophone is like one of the marines is like precious items and he has to throw it I just want to say just searching alien saxophone in general is leading to fantastic results whoa that doesn't dope as shit oh my fucking god this is sick he's so aesthetic with that thing it looks incredible yeah I don't know what that comic is whoa but um if anyone wants like a really good alien xenomorph comic experience that is probably like the best one I've ever read and it's probably better than the movie and I like it a lot shit dude alien saxophone well oh my god guys I figured it out I got our guy I got our guy I locked up got a handcuff right here here he is that's a real jazz for your soul moment right there I just do not believe how much I love aliens I couldn't agree more but have we run the gamut for our deep discussion about the realism and the 100% confirmation that they are we have we have met them on multiple occasions I'm thinking it's like a they live situation mostly you know they're hidden in plain sight with all kinds of bizarre we have some solid proof that Obama is a lizard person alright we've got some real shit and Hilary too Hilary definitely we could have been ruled by aliens but we fucked it up you know what are we gonna do humans making mistakes that's probably the best best case aliens could make for wiping us out is like look we could have ruled you but you voted you didn't vote with her so fuck you misogyny's piece of shit we're not stand for that level the aliens are super liberal cooks they invented it the first thing they went to when they got here was Seattle that's what they got I wanna say that if you don't think aliens are real first of all how dare you look no further than the I mean if you believe that there's a love battleship underneath the pyramids of Giza which you should because it's completely feasible and I've been there myself isn't it less than a millimeter thick it's like one atom thick and like two miles wide that's the love battleship and if you think yourself well what's it used for I'll fucking tell you back in the 1950s when the greys were getting heated up and they were getting super mad at the United States government because they wouldn't give them weed that's all they wanted that's the way they came to earth for that dank kush bro they wouldn't give it from the United States government because they were fucking prudes so some women from South America went over I need to give them the weed so they'll they'll fuck off so she went to pyramid of Giza and she went inside the love battleship and she wished with all of her heart that they would get so much weed that they would fucking barf you know what they did they all got sick and they ran away so thank you women from South America for powering the love battleship improving that aliens are fucking real shit I am 100% convinced oh by the way unlike ghosts aliens are incredibly eco friendly they're known for their hacky sacks and general peace loving nature and have incredible taste and rap they're dykes I think I would take an alien over a ghost any day of the week who do you think would win an alien or a ghost what about an alien ghost that's what I said in the beginning but if aliens die they have ghosts too don't they we know that we have ghosts that's like the concept of interracial marriage it's never happened so let's stop discussing it it's not gonna happen we know because of the dream bubbles that ghosts are real yeah well it's like okay it's like what I was saying we don't know if they're gonna have the concept of ghosts because they might not have ghosts we know we have ghosts because we've grown up and we've evolved to have them on the planet earth because it's so crucial God has only given human souls those lowly aliens do not they are not superior beings enough the aliens might have their own gods they could have their own gods they could have their own gods guys you know like the saying when in Rome do what Romans do if an alien dies on earth maybe it gains a ghost you know that's pretty good that's pretty good alright no no what if the alien comes to earth and is enraptured in our culture and is born again a Christian does he gain a soul well here guys let me ask you this ginger let me ask you this if an alien lands in the United Arab Emirates if he lands in an American airport particularly United States soil can he still get legally same sex married because he's on American soil but he's also in Saudi Arabia so you know two conflicting laws which law overrides for an alien what if he doesn't conform to human gender binary things can he get gay married at all the most common forms of monsters are these vagina alien types so like where does that exactly fall on the spectrum at a glance but they're all vagina monsters so maybe all the aliens in the real universe are all vagina humanoids but right and the ones in the fake universe are the penis of course because men the patriarch is not real it's a social core strike it all comes together little bit column A little bit column B motherfucker well team I think we did it what would you want to be in your UFO what's the sick UFO do you want to buy from your UFO car dealership you know Jimmy Neutron's spaceship what about the show called Rick and Morty though it's like a UFO in that show it's really smart seriously for real the Jimmy Neutron movie of them all turning like the ferris wheel and stuff into spaceships is like the coolest thing I've ever ever seen in my whole life why I fantasized about turning stuff into a spaceship and just going and just going up there also that 80s movie I mentioned anything like that anything that's like real like Jimmy Neutron I want the spaceship is Jimmy Neutron the real universe or is he in the fake universe maybe we're in the fake universe he's a genius he can travel between the universes he's not limited I want a purple sparkly spaceship age post is a very dank looking spaceship shining bright oh my you guys ever seen space balls of course I want the spaceship that's just the RV but it has engines on the back that's a good one I'm going to limit an RV van the rest of my life anyways it's going to be perpetually poor so it'll feel like home alright fucking is this one is this one oh my god yes you win this is the best one that shit oh god that was in lego magazine every month and I was like I wanted so bad I had it I lost all the pieces I have no oh my god we have to go on a quest to find all the pieces we have to go back I remade that UFO in like a million different ways it was so fucking fun we gotta when we all do radcon lego land those were the coolest aliens radcon lego land we have to lego con I don't know I got nothing alright I feel like my thoughts can be summed up in this image fucking drag and drop please please my computer is freezing up because they know okay nothing in this book is true but it's exactly how things are with a bunch of just fucking aliens I like how this is the third edition revise that experience oh wait you know what real serious question this is the last thing I've got to say on this topic what's the deal with fucking crop circles if aliens aren't making them I actually had a thought about this that I forgot to bring up the aliens put crop circles down because we have constantly been making crop rectangles and they get confused they think we're talking to them so they reply with the crop circles they hear the rectangles and they're like oh okay circle and we're like what the fuck and they're like oh they don't get it maybe the square in alien language means DTF this whole time and we've been helping and that's why they abduct us and give us anal probes they think that we consented already that makes sense oh we're gonna press charges super fucking hard we're gonna need alien safe spaces alright final question guys are skeletons aliens think about it they aren't human they aren't alive and there you go no agreed okay alright we wrapped it up guys we did it alright everybody if anyone doesn't have any final points let's just take a look at these fucking questions over here anyone by the way do the thing on the fan discord anyone ask a good question go submit it right now we'll get some while I butter us up with some softball ones in here yeah okay what do you got with this one at libourplex libourplex I guess asks tips on winning arguments being more persuasive how do you get people to be persuaded munchie what do you do when I want people to believe me I just don't when I want people to believe me I don't know if I necessarily want that a lot I will like the point of the conversation it won't be to spread my ideology most of the time if ever it will just be to explain myself and then come to my own conclusions after everything is said and done well if I explicitly want someone to conform to what I like because I don't know I just want to emotionally manipulate them for any reason then I'll just act like a really good person they'll feel bad if they're not agreeing with me I'm really cracking up at your like straight straight faced answer as you posted the picture of a cobra with a fucking cigarette in its mouth just got really without comment no human could ever conceive of this it had to be external forces it's the only explanation I love that snake I fucking do it what's his angle here his angle is getting turned I'm gonna have to say there's so many images I want to edit this just so that I can make sure that all the images get put in the thing so if you've just been listening the video version of this podcast will have images on so there you go hey so on the thing of like how to win an argument I would say that okay somebody who's great at winning arguments whether you like the guy or not is like Donald Trump because what Donald Trump does more like Donald Trump for my right got him what Trump does is the classic debate tactic of just not giving a fuck with a question you were just asked and just making up an answer to some other question it's extremely high level but like if you're in a debate maybe there's like a formal setting or whatever but if you just want people to be on your side if you just want to win overall eventually and there's no autistic rules going on or anything just ignore attacks and ignore things that are about like the substance of what's wrong with your position just focus on what's wrong with their position and hammer away at it incessantly and discard all decorum and all semblance of like trying to be acting in good faith or take the other person's argument at its face value like if your only goal is to win just find a point that you think they're vulnerable at and hammer them over and over again I just suggest would be first if you just want to win the argument always appeal to emotion yeah that's a good one the limbic brain is what's responsible for decision making and that's the emotional part of the brain the neocortex does not have anything to do with decision making so if you want to sway somebody quickly appeal to their emotions not logic because logic is not very persuasive you use logic after the fact to justify your emotional responses but if you actually want to change somebody's mind I highly recommend the Socratic method of arguing where you present your points as questions so you ask them questions and you basically back them into a corner to basically make your points for you because that way they're coming to the conclusions themselves and it feels like it's their ideas and their learning as opposed to you beating them over the head with what the right answer is yeah I have a suggestion just this is kind of a bit of a tip here guys so like if you're arguing with someone like the best thing you can do is not to make the other person feel attacked by your side because as soon as a person feels attacked they get defensive and as soon as a person gets defensive they like it's shut off like the conversation is shut off you're no longer going to be able to persuade them because yeah they're locked in and they're not going to be budging and they're going to be stubborn so don't make them feel attacked like Nate your argument about like ignoring what the the question you were asked or whatever that's good if you're on a debate and you're trying to convince the audience but not the person you're debating the context is important here entirely true entirely true and failing all that push an image of a snake with a cigarette and it's going to win every argument by the way just on the subject of debates or arguments this always gets me considering like Tom's emotional argument point there it's so true let's say for example you've got some debate going on between let's say like a mom whose kid was kidnapped by a pedophile and raised or something what was he wearing so you have the mom here who's experienced this and let's say that the ideas like her and her organization are pushing for stricter legalization laws so let's say to outlaw you know let's say like a lolly con porn for example like she thinks that like oh no indeed indeed so like and then like on the other side you've got like a fucking scientist who's saying like I have studied this and I am telling you there is no connection between like you know this particular art or whatever and like increased rates of pedophilia like if you've got those two people like even if the dude is correct and can demonstrate that he is correct nobody's going to give a shit because all they care about is making the other person feel good because something bad happened to them that is how it works every fucking time you cannot deal with these kinds of that yeah like it's totally illogical but you see it all the fucking time it's the worst which is why I so so hate like all these like advocates for all these causes that like people individually may have experienced like the particular crime but then they go on to like try to advocate policies to like to change things for everybody when like these people are looking at anecdotal evidence exclude like it's your own experience sure but it's completely anecdotal it's the it's the mass studies that actually matter when it comes to making decisions on a large scale so emotionally quantify statistics that's why that's why that's why the aliens come they're going to kill us and I change my mind they should do it yep yep yep we should not listen to kill us rather than aliens it's my religion you know you know what if the media was was brought here by aliens would you rather be it was literally done in part of that alien huh uh aliens are gentle aliens are compassionate they understand what I want they don't have a kid to my understand my difference if it if an alien killed you you'd be euthanized if a skeleton killed you you'd be butchered okay you're right about that so funny I haven't been listening to this entire question because I'm looking at this making them laugh you have to have the snake up the entire Q&A session so nobody hears any of this good idea good idea alright let's get another question wait wait mage was going to say something I said a pun but now the moment's over so there you go damn it well shit if an alien killed you you'd be euthanized if a skeleton killed you you'd be butchered okay you're right about that skeletons can really get under your skin you know uh okay what do we got here uh I guess here's one at crow mascigators hey what's up uh you imitating mother fuckers uh uh they ask do you lock your windows at night I think they want to get into your house munchie so be careful you answer this question yeah uh I fucking uh I do not in fact I always have my windows open and with a fan blasting as loud as fucking human impossible if you ever come to my little my streams where I don't care about audio quality or sometimes because fuck armors people then you hear my fan it's legendary it's powerful and it's throbbing constantly I would say that I yeah like uh when it was hot during the summer I've got like a little ac unit that I just left the window open and I just didn't give a fuck I would just leave it open for days and I'm on the second story though so that we'll probably I am I'm not going to answer this actually I'm not going to tell people exactly where I live but but I I generally do lock everything just as a matter of course yeah definitely you know whenever I can this will matter because he's not at this house anymore but did you used to not lock his doors and it was the scariest fucking thing of my entire life I you know what I I I I I always think about this scene from full metal jacket which is where uh you know private pile at fat motherfucker piece of shit like he he like there they're all the whatever sergeant gunnery whatever is reviewing their like uh he's just reviewing the troops or whatever like at boot camp for the joining the Marines and like he sees like this fat piece of shit did not lock his footlocker and like he just says so matter of factly like private pile you stupid stupid motherfucker there is nothing I hate more in this world than an unlocked footlocker because if there weren't if it weren't for people like you there would be no thievery in this world didn't you already say that in a different podcast did I I probably did it's one of my favorite lines ever though because I had not even considered the idea that like what people should be responsible for protecting their own things and we should accept the reality that human beings are generally self-interested so it's our responsibility to account for that and to to to manage our ways through life considering that and facing fucking reality instead of a utopian ideal that isn't fucking real and never will be and is a waste of time to imagine is the real way we're we're we're we're works what that's why Starfleet will never happen Starfleet could happen it's not as utopian as it seems but okay what was the question again do you lock your windows at night I always lock my door extensively I have I have like three different locks on my fucking door I have a dead bull and I have the fucking normal lock and then I have like that fucking sure you're staying at the top I hear you I want more I want I don't want anyone to be able to get in or out I'm gonna protect this really if I'm not allowed to come out at night because I know I'm not going to be responsible my my doors and windows are all locked by elaborate point-and-click adventure game puzzles that I have to solve every time I leave and enter keeps me on my toes check out this guy this like pizza guy and this pizza box coffin I posted by the way oh my god sounds incredible also I know I love that just to show people images okay yeah let's save this put it on the screen Ben's not gonna fucking do that I'll do it I'll edit the thing there's too many images for it to be we really have gone overboard with the fucking image posting this episode I didn't expect the images to be in the video it's just we just started posting aliens ahead of time to get ourselves psyched up for the right oh how psyched we were just to help you out remember all these posts are time-stamped so you can kind of sync that up with the podcast and help you find where they are that'll save you some work maybe good thinking do you have a question from the actually wait no we didn't hear Tom and Mages answer I'm curious what do you guys lock your doors and windows at night or in general I have so much shit down here I don't trust anybody I don't trust the people I have to live with I don't trust any of you motherfuckers agreed neither do I very smart what about you Mage I don't trust people so much that I'm not going to answer this question because if anyone like goes out at night and sees windows and like if they see locked windows and open windows if they knew my answer they could like narrow down which windows could potentially be mine so I'm not going to say that does represent a significant amount of windows from the list of Mages windows oh but now I know you have windows so like that's a given Mage we all give our answers and you're the most mysterious PCP member of all time even to other members that's definitely true I like it I think it's great ok check out this question here's a good one if you're 15 to 16 year old self saw how you look and act now where you are now what would they say let's start with Munchie what if you were 16 years old again what would you do like well if I think the question was like what would they say about where you are now they would probably say wow in 2 months I'm going to be fucking rolling in it bro yeah so for that I'd probably just be like wow nothing's changed he'd be so disappointed you didn't even get that dank cyborg eye you were talking about you've been hyping up your whole fucking civilization I didn't even get turned into a crystal skeleton and get to weaving legs how about you Gib if you're 15 to 16 year old self what would you think how you look, how you act, what you're doing he'd probably well let me think was I interested in like internet game review type people at the time like 15, 16 maybe but I'd probably just be like unimpressed because I'm not like a super rock star at the time what the fuck the Beatles got big when in the 20s and you're halfway through yet bitch kill yourself that's what he would say but then I would say grow up Jesus it's not all about doing it immediately silly boy and then I would kill him and then I would start disappearing I know when I was 15 to 16 I mostly spent all my time watching anime specifically one big long running show I just did that all day every day and I would definitely be happy about where I am now I think I mean I'm saying this from the perspective of what I think that guy would say but even back then I wanted I'm not that swell but I wanted to be somewhat you know what I'd be disappointed that I wasn't more fit but I'm working on it but he would be happy that I found my path in life and am financially secure and independent and I am achieving my personal dreams I think he would be very happy I certainly am let's look at some Patreon questions I'm trying to read these and listen I'm trying to listen to you and also read these questions some of them are just like I don't care okay hang on to that one Tom Mage what do you think um I think my 16 year old self would be like good job losing the weight I'm pretty fat now you're not I cannot even imagine you being fat I know it's crazy it was a crazy time let me tell you um those stairs man they scared me I'd be like why the fuck haven't you finished your comic yet you fuck but then I'd be like oh I can do 3D and I'd be like whoa holy shit I want to do that but it seems so impossible right now now you're doing it I'd be like I know you didn't finish a bunch of comics since then though you finished a bunch of shit Scootaloo to me my comic is like a shonen manga start to finish that's all my ideas are and I haven't done any of that so it'd be like you fucking hack Jonan Vasquez never even had a real job right out of high school what the fuck is wrong with you Jonan Vasquez is the guy who did all those weird puppet things he made a review about 100 years ago right no no he's the guy who did uh he did John the hawk sort of maniac and invaders him that's what yeah that's right no that was m dot strange and he's cool he's what got me into 3D so I would be him he's what converted me from a 2D being to a 3D being he was a big influence I'm starting to find my idol that converts me to a 4D being then I can finally transcend this mortal coil how about you mage what would your 15 to 16 year old self say look at it to now well immediately it would be the opposite of what Tom says it would be like oh do you let yourself go didn't you oh no I mean not too much but I would have preferred to be a different body type than I am now still still would hit the squats fam but she would probably be quite happy with what I'm doing right now and would be slightly disappointed that I still haven't like finished any comics yet as well because I actually did start a comic when I was like 14 or so and I sort of stopped doing it maybe one day you and phantom horn will get back together and finish that old comic that was a hard no right there I know right here's here's a question from the patreon discord patreon.com the procrastinates the bad guy don't ask me to talk to you for real it's true we do even bin santa is here unfortunately don't tell them that they'll leave water says what is your favorite thing another member on the pcp has created oh good question that is a fantastic the vapers the vapers excellent choice chapter 2 specifically chapter 2 is I like chapter 1 better I think chapter 2 is like it's shorter but denser with good content I think I don't know I gotta think this is a tough one like who am I even gonna pick I like a lot of old digi contents like like old like project awesomeness I like a lot of that dude what the freak what the freak my favorite line of all time yeah that's pretty good yeah I like old digi bros like the dark souls playthrough of digi bros was nice and like a sonic adventure but that's not like my favorite thing of all time that's just like pretty good I guess like horseshoe finale and the one year later horseshoe finale thing by jessie endless horseshoe finale was great last name yeah okay horseshoe finale is definitely great I just I mean the first thing I ever saw of jessie's was kind of just like the most mind blowing out of all just because it was like the first time I ever saw jessie shit and really fucked me up and it was the review of the crystal castle crystal kingdom review whatever it's like it's cult corona like doing a review of whatever crystal empire thank you thank you brony curious always good to have you on an episode I had another party moment this morning too I felt oh yeah what was it tell me I was in a chat and I have some art people in the chat and jessie was there she was talking about the next season of RuPaul's Drag Race and one of the people on there was Trixie I just thought Trixie pony because I didn't see the context of the conversation I'm never going to be cured it's terminal yeah whenever I hear of president or first lady fluttershy I'm always like oh wait fuck it's not the pony shit I fucked it up again damn it I was always confused when I type in rule 34 Trixie and I would get like Timmy Turner I didn't understand now we're talking now we're cooking with jazz what else is great I love Brunswick that Ben made Brunswick is great yeah like Brunswick I just love like Gibbs content in general yeah I was going to say my favorite kind of it's like the one little animation gived it with the glass of water oh the fish one oh of course there's fish at the door I watch both you've got chain mail and Pokemon Go miniscule review like every single day of my life you've got chain mail is a masterpiece it's the best thing you've ever made I'm going to have a sequel at some point you've got plate mail oh yeah please I can't wait I'm dying for it um I like I like it all it's all pretty good I don't know I can't think of any specifics I like Topton trampolines Topton reasons like a trampoline that is a good one the trampolines one is great I mean one of my favorite videos of all time is like Anthony C's review of cancel out wedding but he worked with Tom yeah like they work together on it invite Anthony C to the PCP press one if you want Anthony C the PCP new PCP member and press two if you want Anthony C to be the only remaining PCP member immediately afterward incredible we couldn't have Anthony C in the PCP because every episode would be scripted there would be a whole script that he would write we'd all have to do and that would be each episode oh is that a dig are you digging at him no that wasn't a dig that was that was a compliment to his insane work ethic Tom I fucking love I fucking love your low poly 3D models you make of like like stuff like the sushi you did and I think you did the sushi the cuphead famous yeah cuphead was recent like all the little like cute playstationy sort of playstation one sort of things I love that Tom I have recently procured a desire to have sex with cupheads so I was hoping you could give me that model for my disgusting animations that I must do for my 3D printer exactly fantastic I think some of my favorite stuff I was going to say fish at the door that's definitely one of my favorite things there's a legend so fucking good anime more fuck just do all this work I demand it for free that's just the kind of guy I am I'll give you exposure I really liked best game ever to the elements when I strip you naked and put you on the fucking cold and then you'll be dead there's your exposure dumbass okay I'm calming down I'm settling down I just tweeted something like that there was like a comic strip and someone retweeted it was like hey can I use this oh that's right and it's just like my dad told me about exposure that's what you die from in the desert yeah that's probably where I got the idea low key stealing some jokes here low key I like best game ever Undertale oh no oh no Tom what have you done it actually is pretty good it is pretty good for what it is I just like how you've ruined the game at the end it's fantastic if you fucking watched this and played the game guess what I've ruined everything for you that's the good part because the reason I like that so much is like I almost did watch it but I'm like no I think I'm going to play Undertale at some point so I'm not going to watch it so I saved myself a horrible fate and so it had some personal way for me the video is an interactive experience it is I like your Gurren Lagoon part 1 and what was that other one there's only a few I know there's not that many we eggua episode 1 about speed running is a masterpiece of vlog technology no there's nothing else no it's nothing else something that's like kind of recent that I really like Phantom reviews is great I agree I was going to say something I liked from you was the transformation animation you did with your character fucking great the key framing on that is so good and it feels it's got punch to it it's good shit when you post that that's what I wanted that's what I want I think the problem with Nightmare Moon Ark the greatest video series ever made pretty keen on that and my favorite thing from you Munchie is arm retrieval my favorite thing is investigate man it I'm so sorry I go like three people here it's like we'll do comics someday someday hey man they're tough I think we all know what the best creation of everybody in here is and it's clearly the Undertailer the best creation any of us I gotta give props to known member of the PCP Toby Fox for his creation of a little game you might know called Undertail it's really gotten a lot of mileage on this podcast I appreciate Toby isn't a member of the PCP but Undertail is you're not wrong I like also like a while ago you guys made the silly parody with the ponies where you guys like switch cutie masters something like that oh the cutie marker fuck that's the stuff I was thinking about because it was pony stuff alright I forgot about those that was like my passion project it was pretty good and what a passion project was it's not bad anything involving t-bap was incredible it is and slash was incredible can you just define for me you always talk about how you like define that for me you always said you like the aesthetic of t-bap or like you like the chemistry that was like that good fuck that means because I always think I sound like an idiot on the piece before I learned how to fucking talk on t-bap I listen back to the things I used to say and the arguments I would make about the show and I'm just like Jesus Christ none of this is good I disagree with that I think there was some good shit there first of all I think there was good shit that's not the reason I don't care about the actual subject matter or the actual conversation I care about the meta elements at play within t-bap the most important thing in my entire life I care about the professionality and how much effort was put into this thing that does not need any effort put into it just like a basic podcast made about the show there was a lot of pony expressions been made far more than it was usually made for those types of things custom things made for each episode there's that one where you guys were fucking night uniforms all this different sort of shit going on that didn't have to be made whatsoever and all added to the experience as well as intros which were so far and above beyond what anyone was saying and it's just perfect because it's so easily digestible because there are just like key notes and stuff and everyone's on this like this like pre-planned path that's super easy there's a table of contents for everything it's super easy to digest however it's still it's just like it's just like you're on a bus stop and you're going to each stop you don't know exactly what's that stop but you have a basic plan for each one so you're still like free flowing and you can kind of decide what to do at each given moment and the conversation is still like natural and free flowing but it still looks on it's still easily digestible and just the entire aesthetic of it being this fucking cool thing that you have to put actual effort into moving the pony and it's not a lot of work but you just have to move the pony mouth and stuff and there's just a lot of stuff going on and phantom reviews and keg reviews are fucking incredible and they have so much work in them with fucking like musical segments it's incredible that's right they're legendary there's so much lore too driven in to just these simple reviews it's just like you and Ben have a really good dynamic just in general because like when we would drive to bernie con you guys would just get into these heated discussions about everything and I'd just be in the backseat listening and just like I just got a bonus episode of T-Bab that's just how you talk and it's a good dynamic well that's cool thanks for sucking my dicks fam yeah no problem all my myriad dicks hey here we go at belity998 asks if you could create one new law for america what would it be munchie no more ghosts I'm tired of them we gotta get them all out like whenever someone dies just get like a vacuum near them just suck them all up doors outsource them to china do something with them I'm tired of bumping into them on the streets I'm trying I'm sorry I'm so getting sick and tired of my Indian dream catcher being clogged up with all the spirits and ghouls constantly have to change every single day I hate it no more ghosts we gotta give ice the necessary tools they need to deport all these fucking ghosts back to where they came from the fucking the fucking grave right back to the fucking we have to give ice the necessary tool to get all these ghosts out of our fucking property no they need we need to give ISIS the necessary tools to get these ghosts out of our fucking bodies by blowing us up like killing all of us hashtag give ISIS nukes let's make it happen official sponsor of the PCP ISIS official PCP partner of ISIS PCP ISIS they're both letters oh no it's so true it's so true what even was the question it was what law would you make what law would you make real if you could oh no that's the worst one by the way I don't know if I mentioned this but it just so happens that my guy work with at work he like has like whatever he just joined he's like an intern or something but he has like a little heart pirates logo as his like chat icon in our like in our work chat and it just every day it makes me want to die but he's actually he's a cool guy though and we talk about one piece but he likes law so he's an idiot and he should be a purge from existence he should be eviscerated indeed hopefully he doesn't listen to this we'll see I will be fired I will be fired it will be all here's a new one if that's what gets you fired from the PCP I know right I know right everything that's been said you have some good job security I think we've had the name Washington DC for too long here's my new proposal Mecca 2 the second I think that's coming whether we like it or not aka London London Mecca 2 it's happening okay hang on I want to read a quick shout out to hashtag worst question of the week at Gabriel underscore freak you're getting a shout out my dude what is the best thing for the members of the TPC first of all he said the TPC so you fucked up right there my dude and what's the best thing that question is too fucking vague otaku freak Gabriel to use your full name oh you should feel ashamed of yourself this is a disappointment I'm sorry I'm just kidding dude you're fine don't feel sad he was about to pledge us $50 oh I fucked up Gabriel forgive me the best thing about the PCP is spending time with all my buddies oh no that's uh that's gay it's not allowed the best thing about it is the paycheck he's right can't argue with that I thought the question was like I thought the question was like what is the best thing for members of the like it's not like it's not even about the PCB what is the best thing for each of us the best thing for me ooh lego I like lego okay lego lego and minecraft combined a very small roll you get rolled up you get rolled up hardcore you get twisted that's the best thing to happen a very small roll dude how many times have you rolled into your duvet and become a worm many many times dude it's a tradition every year I think I said this before everyone thanksgiving I turned my shirt into pants and I wear my pants as a shirt that's the best thing for me Tom were you saying something I was just confirming that that story is indeed on the books oh yes uh yeah this uh I don't know what the fuck the best thing I love my Nintendo switch my Nintendo switch see I hate this question I fucking hate you Gabriel you fucking traitor the best thing is my surface pro because it's a computer and a tablet at the same time so you can draw on it you can read manga on it really easy you can do actual work that's good computer work with it and it's like a pound and a half so it's super light you can take it anywhere oh wait I got a computing device of all time excellent but my okay my actual best thing the best thing for me is when my computer does not just blue screen and turn off it's it's all the times it's not doing that the best thing for me without a doubt without I think the best thing for me is the best guy ever oh fensame oh no munchies out of the piece even though I said it uh well any other questions to the fan chat we're getting close to the end here the fan chat questions are all terrible there was only one good one I have a question for you fan chat can you make better questions you're paying money for this step it up I know I know the best dancer in the pcp what the fuck kind of questions that god damn it you'll you're you're a gringo bandit oh they have money but they don't have wit that's for sure they they replace it like you know how all women who are attractive are a zero out of ten intelligence dude I know that hard core it's okay we like it that way if you had to choose between money and wit we definitely appreciate your money agreed okay tell you what here's one more question um at raw moon Ramana John right okay at Ramana John one two three four asks what is the most time consuming element of each of your jobs I mean like PCP or getting ice or or like the fact that ice tries to deport you all the time for being a you know an alien an illegal alien violating the sanctity of the American constitution by being here I'm assuming is that I would say the most time consuming part of my job is is the writing of the script because it takes a while to decide on when it's done and how good it is I mean like recording and editing record actually no it's it's writing slash recording editing is fine I can do that fine it doesn't it might it may take longer but it there's less time where I'm just fucking around like I can just do it when I do it and for writing a lot of the time I'm just sitting there and I don't know what I'm doing and I'm clicking clacking at the keyboard and I'm deleting my you know my internet system 32 you know 64 whatever the most time consuming thing about my job is whenever I have to press keys on my keyboard when I record or when I draw it's super easy and I can't get it done really fast so if I have to like press down letters or accumulate exclamation points then we're gonna have real problems we're gonna have some real major problems that's gonna be the end of my band by the way accumulate exclamation points the most time consuming thing is editing I hate it and it's it's doubly time consuming because it takes long time and I also hate it so I procrastinate on doing it that sucks balls and the most time consuming thing with 3D is UV unwrapping that is the worst thing ever it's when you take the 3D model once it's done and you have to like put seams in it and flatten it out like a papercraft doll kind of flattens out so you can put the texture on it it's really hard because I'm stupid and it's interesting those both suck balls and I hate it that's not just really hard because you're stupid that's just really hard because I can't wrap my head around it when I try to do it you can't wrap your head around unwrapping in the model that was why I said that oh very good I think that would agree with Gib oh Midge go ahead yeah the most time consuming thing for me though is drawing everything out because I do the enemy no no no like drawing everything every single panel stuff like that Midge how about that foreshortening though foreshortening foreshortening is fun foreshortening is a pain foreshort that's a wrap guys you just steal his jokes and that's what he does and that's why he's famous I misspoke like someone said the word foreshortening and I've been wanting to make that joke that's my story and I'm sticking to it that's the truth foreshortening see I just did who you did I stole your joke you stole my fuckin', okay well I agree with Gib give here and I think that like what so it might not even be the longest process because editing does take me a long time but specifically and I'm working on approving that but like the writing process okay well with we Agua which is what I'm doing now like nothing takes any time and the thing that takes like the most time with that is just like once I've recorded I just I have to edit it and that like for sure it takes like the majority of the time like once all the footage is captured putting it down putting in the timelines doing the color correction syncing up the audio etc etc that definitely takes the longest time for we Agua but like the the real bane of my existence is not we Agua because I can bust that out fairly simple it's like in the in the bigger videos my my larger projects like it's the it's the phase to get the script together like so all the all the research like all the planning all that kind of stuff in order to produce a script once I have the script which I do now incidentally that then it's easy mode then I just record it edit oh it's fucking it's it's simple I don't there's no thought required anymore it just happens like a we Agua does it's it's everything about preparing the project is where the both the time investment because like a procrastinating and the combination with just like not knowing what the fuck to say and having to like sit there and think about it that's the hard shit and I'm hoping to get better at it as I go along but that's that's my bane of my existence for sure I love them they are my friends they are my friends right now we're gonna contact Nasta our aliens friends or foes we decide right now I vote friends dude why the fuck is they're not an alien type in Pokemon oh my god because there's only dea well actually there's deoxys there's cliff fairy there's what else we got geraci I think is from the star yeah yeah yeah geraci requests us from outside the atmosphere I think that counts that counts he's green yeah he's green all aliens are wait isn't isn't star me canonically from outer space or something I think he is I think he is all right that's enough right there maybe Pokemon uranium addresses this massive flaw yeah you know you should get an ally because it wasn't made by Nintendo ergo shouldn't exist oh or have you say it is perfect my favorite they hashtag legalized DC MA we got to legalize it everybody make it happen all right I think it's what about aliens I think we're all set anybody final points final points here anybody Kirby's my best alien friend yeah he is and the most powerful he will split your fucking planet in half if you look at him sideways doesn't give a fuck about anything and stitch don't let Hawaii be abducted stop it just letting it happen it's very what's wrong with them I don't know what's their angle okay I close that no my closing oh yeah go ahead mage got what if we are descendants of aliens oh was gonna talk about that there was a great episode of ancient aliens of ancient aliens where they're talking about aliens and bigfoot because that's the that's the thrust of the show it's always aliens and something and so there was an episode aliens and bigfoot and they're talking about how bigfoot was an alien but then they're like no what if okay that aliens they're never depicted with any fur bigfoot has fur what if they bigfoot was like a species that existed on earth and then they genetically modified them and they became humans so we're genetically modified bigfoot and the big foot that exists now are with a natural evolution of species on this planet and we've been modified by aliens that makes sense and they're like is it possible maybe why why why the fuck couldn't they just say like instead of bigfoot just say gorillas because bigfoot well is the mission is a monster between gorillas and humans all right look everyone needs to watch ancient aliens it's gonna like elevate your Christ consciousness you're gonna become do I need to watch do I need to see Indiana Jones and the fourth one that's like yeah that's like they're they're moving they gave it a budget things got weird it definitely has its charm when they went on on TV instead as we all know and this is this is not to discriminate or discredit but we as we all know the Hebrews are aliens and they came to Limeria in our mid evolution cycle and they sort of you know assimilated themselves but you know technically all Jews are aliens just thrown that out you know to drop a little to drop a truth bomb here the current science is is inconclusive as to like exactly how it's okay so the to Tom's to whoever's point it wasn't maybe it was major about like if if we're to send from aliens so like currently I took a geology class to finish my degree last year or something and like there was currently no known or maybe it was biology I think it was biology there is no known way that like the base amino acids that make up like the proteins that like cells in most species dependent like all organisms depend on in order to function so like the thought right now is that amino acids were synthesized outside of the planets and then arrived here later after it had already you know turned into a fucking planet toyed with shit and then it is from that like collision as like meteors hit here and brought the amino acids here they slowly collected eventually formed life so like technically I mean okay you can say like yes everything in the universe is like from space because we're on space planets were formed from from you know space rocks and shit the theory is we're all technically Martians because they believe the really Mars yeah how did they get here from Mars though with like an explosion or something like a meteor impact or something like that there was some way it's yeah that's that's had her that was a whole big presentation on it because like I guess Mars at the time had the conditions necessary to create those amino acids explain the dafty duck with no mouth guy for Mars in Lieutons that's totally explain him yeah dude what if what if the planet of the apes was an earth and like the apes were on a different planet and that was their planet of the apes and then they continued to be like apes in charge and then they they grew their technology and they made spaceships they came to earth and then they turned into humans over many years describing literally the plot of Final Fantasy 10 that is literally what happens in Final Fantasy 10 I should clarify it's okay that's where the shit gets real all right everybody I assume that one as well of course that's the only way they know how all right everybody that's it thank God okay let's do our plugs here everybody all right everybody smoke don't smoke and but go to patreon.com slash the procrastinators we got we got rewards people we got discords join pledge some money be in our discord where we actually hang out and talk to people we do you'll you'll you get the fuck right in there if you pledge if you if you pledge $5 though it's $5 per episode of the PCP you get access to the bonus episodes of which I believe there are seven now there are seven that exist now I think and the last one is a fucking doozy that we're getting ready to record another one very soon yes that's right next one's coming up it'll be out we're trying to get out the first of the month and so that's when you see that wake up wake up wake up it's the first of the month we got we got some merch we got some PCP merch down below we actually just added some more to our red bubble page with a bunch of fucking stickers you goddamn cheap motherfucker buy them buy them all stickers there's that corporate bullshit company apple.com on the front of your MacBook slap a PCP logo PCP member. This machine promotes fascism with the PCP sticker on it hell yeah go on give or use it what else we got. There's a sticker for each of us they're all drawn by mage they're very nice. Me and Tom are kind of stuck together though. Yes we're going to keep track of all the ones you buy so we'll know who the most popular PCP member is and then we'll kill that person so I could be the most pop. What if we are the most? But Tom we're stuck together so we'll never know who it was. It'll be me and mage the podcast. The best podcast of all time. We are also that is a t-shirt as well a t-shirt designed by the by someone I forget it's me. Edward D. Al. Edward D. Al everybody great art man big fan. Guys I just realized I confirm the aliens are real the procrastinators TPC the podcast creators that's also the same initial like TPC like the pocket traders get it cuz like we create podcast much you're gonna need to explain to me aliens I don't know anything about what the fuck you're talking about right now the same letters what are letters we need to go back to square one here creators. You really are. You had to say the people creators. That would have made sense. Well so we got is there anything else to shill follow us at TP procrastinators on Twitter so that you can send your questions which we mostly look at the the fan chat these days but if you also want to just send questions on the Twitter as well we record on Saturdays you can do that too. So keep an eye out for that. We always show my patron. Can you show your patron? No absolutely not. That's not what this is for. None of us shill our patreon god damn it. Well maybe you should. Well okay let's re-evaluate this policy. Okay everyone. If you want to be a dirty bent saint you can I just I just I just want everyone to look at the tears because I made some cute doodles for the tears that's okay duly noted duly noted go to her patron if you're gay and you like that shit. Also my patron at patreon.com Ben say that. And go to my patron at patreon.com. Ben say that's my one. Ben's actually gonna get money from this fuck you Ben. All right that's it. We're done everybody. Thank you for listening. We will see you next week with another dank ass meme story just like this one. Everyone it's time to say what aliens how do aliens say goodbye. A. A. love. Aintle Bro.