 Let's face it sleeping together has become so commonplace That it's actually part of the decision-making process when it comes to an intimate Romantic relationship and this is true for women just as much as men many of you women have said to me and I quote I need to know if he's good in bed before I want to invest in this person So what chain what makes a man choose you and invest in you? I know that the title says chase but let's replace the word chase with invest What makes a man invest in you over another person that they might have slept with? This is a really good question. What does it take for a person to invest in you? Now, certainly, it's important to have some level of physical attraction with one another To get yourselves aroused. That's pretty that's pretty self-evident, but there's an intangible That's so difficult to quantify This is what makes us go out in the dating marketplace over and over and over again. This intangible Is energetic connection energetic connection? I think energy connection is really the the root of where love lies in a relationship Is that energetic connection? What makes this one person different than the other? I think when you feel aligned with a person This is certainly a good starting point when you share the same values when your lifestyles are blendable with one another And most importantly, there's a level of emotional maturity within this person And and when we look at emotional maturity, we can we can think about sense of humor in this category We can think about intelligence in this category and most importantly relationship skills You see the vast majority of singles over 45 years old Her in the dating marketplace and my demographic is those after baby making years before retirement demographic For those 45 year olds many of them if not 75 of them are divorced Now why is this important to contemplate? Well, with divorce comes an unraveling of the tapestry of an old life And depending on how that unraveling of that tapestry went It can create a very contentious type of dynamic for those who are actively in the dating marketplace Well, Jonathan, how does this relate to chasing him or getting him to chase me? Well, I want you to think about this if there's a contentious relationship with another person That's going to detract from actually having someone invest in you in the future again We men these days. It's so easy to obtain sex that that's not a real quantifier To establishing a long-term relationship with someone So does he have a contentious relationship with his ex? What if he actually genuinely cared for his ex? so much so That he feels maybe betrayed he feels rejected by his ex and he still pines for his ex My sweetheart and I are watching the show called fire fire fly lane. It's on netflix and One of the couples in the relationship have gone through a divorce, but they still deeply love one another Well, if someone is experiencing that how much can they invest in someone they can physically have intimacy with someone But are they really going to invest and chase this person if they're still pining for a past relationship? And by the way, it doesn't have to be a marriage. It could be a significant relationship to significant relationship that just ended What about those people that are going through a contentious experience in their professional life? Someone's ground underneath them doesn't feel solid. They can't really invest in someone. They can experience occasional companionship occasional connection occasional sex, but without really that That capacity to invest beyond that and that's what we mean by chase investing beyond that investing towards a committed relationship So it requires those of you that genuinely want a life mate In your life You have to first desire wanting a life plane In addition, you have to be in a good place within yourself. You have your relationship if you're married or if you're divorced Nate needs to be somewhat stable Just like you're requesting the man's life to be stable in that capacity You also have to not be pining for a past relationship Whether it's a marriage or someone who you recently went out with and certainly Ground underneath you needs to be solid as well to attract this person who's going to invest Beyond sleeping with you Is this sinking in is this resonating? So what's going to turn the tide? I've talked about this repeatedly and also remind everyone that while attraction is so Necessary to get the rocket ship into the into the orbit What's going to keep something in orbit is that you share the same values with a person that's critically important You know one of the values I appreciate most in my sweetheart. It's one of my top values is punctuality And when I and I know this sounds so simplistic and yet for me It's really important and she I mean what I love about her is she is absolutely on time if she makes a commitment She's going to be ready at 5 p.m. She is ready at 4 59 Okay, that's a value. I appreciate for some people value might be health valuing health Be a really important value Maybe charity is an important value to you Being charitable with people I invite you to google a list of values. So, you know your core values Because we all can recognize that honesty Trust integrity are important. Those to me are given values We should be those aren't the ones that you really want to pay attention to those values that are most important to you Here at health charity punctuality are just a few examples of that So do you share the same values with this person and the only way to know this is to actually witness these values over a period of time So this is one of the fundamental pieces of alignment is that shared values Now the next piece is so critically important to get someone to invest in you And that's the capacity to blend lives with one another It's really the integration of each other into each other's lives That includes doing social activities hobbies mutual interest that includes spending time with family and friends That includes traveling together. You see this requires a day in day out type of relationship To get someone to invest in you If we're hyper focused on attraction, we're not going to hit these places Of these milestones of building trust with a person My trust isn't just about fidelity trust is does this person have my best interest at heart? So I invite you to recognize the mechanics to building a healthy happy relationship with someone And lastly this emotional maturities See men only want to be with okay Emotionally healthy men want to only be with emotionally healthy women and I suspect you emotionally healthy women want emotionally healthy men This requires going beyond the surface in dating You just won't sit back in your feminine energy and just wait for the guy to lead This requires you to do your due diligence because as I've said repeatedly over and over when we're meeting total strangers The only thing we know is what they tell us about them. This requires doing your own due diligence including paying attention to the clues To gauge someone's emotional maturity By the way, this is where I look right here's a link to schedule a discovery call with me to see if working with the coaches Right for you my area of expertise is to teach you the questions You should be asking based on your personality to evaluate this person because ultimately Only time someone's really going to invest in you Is where you line up in these core areas of both chemistry And compatibility and compatibility does include what I just shared values lifestyle and emotional maturity So what's the real secret to get him to invest in you? Folks, you're going to have to integrate into each other's lives Think about it. Think about your friends Why are they in your life because you've integrated each other into your lives? I mean, I know we've used the word friends very very cavalierly on facebook We have all these friends But how many people are going to be there for you when you need them? In the cyber world probably not How do you build a friendship? It is due through the doing of things together and through this doing things together through this integration of each other's lives Will you build the deep roots of trust that makes a man want to invest in you beyond sleeping with you? I know many of you need help with that. That's why reach out to me I can help you in this capacity But ultimately all I've been doing here today is planting the seed For you all to recognize that the way the healthy happy relationship Is to spend regular time together Doing things together versus our current model of just spending all our time on x messaging And chatting versus actually physically doing things together Because physically doing things together is how you build It's how you build a house you have to you have to take two by fours and hammer them together physically You can't build a house over the phone You build a house face to face That's my indication I hope this is sinking in and this is resonating with you if it is I'd like to hear your thoughts Please post a comment below Also if you find value in this video, please hit this like please hit the like button Please share this video Please subscribe to my channel hit the notification bell and in the description below are all the ways to connect with me Schedule discovery call join my group called midlife love mastery get my books that I recommend They're all in the description below and in the first comment And I'm going to wrap up this video as I always do first off give myself a big gigantic job America's self love I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm going to ask you to turn to someone that titty bear pillow give it or them a hug of love That's a hug to a great source of love and let's face it. We could all use more love in our lives Thanks a bunch. Bye. Bye now. Bye