 So let's approach how we would answer question number five of the English language paper one exam Remember within this question you have a choice of two questions You always have one descriptive writing question as well as one creative writing question in other words You have to produce a story so you choose you don't do both who just choose one This question is important because it's worth 40 marks So you do need to spend a considerable amount of time in fact for section B I would suggest allocating 50 minutes spend 10 minutes planning So selecting your question and then planning your response and then spend around 35 minutes maybe a little bit more on writing and then give yourself about five minutes at the end to read through and check That you've not made any kind of obvious grammar or spelling errors. So let's get started Always remember question number five is in section B Question five is always the writing exercise that you need to produce and you always have a choice between a Creative writing story or a descriptive article and you pick one and then write out a response And of course, this is worth half of the paper. It is worth 40 marks Now given question number five has nothing to do with the insert So remember the insert applies just for questions number one all the way to fall What will do given that we've completed section a okay, so this is questions one two three and four We'll now put the insert to the side. Okay, we no longer need it So we're gonna put it at the side and remember that when we're doing you know The walkthrough and when we're reading through the paper We've already read through and highlighted the relevant words for question number five And as we're working through one two three and four at the back of your mind You should have been hopefully deciding. Okay, I'm not gonna go for the story I'm not gonna go for the descriptive Article, okay, so now we're here what I will decide to choose is the story about time travel Okay, so as you can see we've gone for or rather we've highlighted write a story about time travel I suggested by this picture and we've got an image as opposed to describe a life in as you imagine it in 200 years as time. Okay, so I'm gonna go for this and this is the story Okay, so I should have even highlighted that and here as you can see We've got a really really nice image that we've got here and our image is supposed to inspire this story about time travel Now as we can see from this image, even if it is black and white Of course when you're writing this don't say oh, I'll see everything in black and white when you're actually within that image Of course everything is in color. Okay now from what I can see from this Image if I were to write this story is firstly as you can see it's a huge room In fact, to be honest when I look at this it reminds me of a very busy train station something like King's Cross St Pancras one of London's busiest Train stations. It's almost like an airport because also there's there's the main part of King's Cross St Pancras which connects this train station in central London to lots of different parts of London as well as the rest of the UK But you also have the other element of King's Cross St Pancras which connects London to places like Paris and other bits of Europe Okay, so it's huge and this is what comes to mind when I look at this image as you can see here You've got these arced windows, okay, and these huge rays of sunlight that are coming through okay And they're almost gilding this floor and it seems like these floors are really soft Maybe marble star floors this train station seems a very very embellished right really really fancy You've got these very beautiful. You can even say maybe because it's black and white So we don't know what colors they are right, but I would say maybe that these windows could be stained glass It also seems incredibly busy. You can see from here. There's images of lots of dotted people Okay, so the ground is dotted with lots of people. They seem to kind of be standing Maybe some of them are hugging each other some of them saying goodbye because of course a train station You have sometimes people who see their relatives off Little children saying bye to the moms and dads. Maybe the mom is going away or the dad is going away for work or whatever, okay? So it seems like a fairly busy atmosphere that's being conveyed in this image however, the question is interesting because you've got this train setting and This is a story about time travel now when I look at this what springs to mind is maybe writing a story Maybe this is based in the future. Let's say 2050 or even 3050 okay, so let's say far into the future a century into the future or more, okay, and Kings Ross St. Pancras is the same, but maybe perhaps This imaginary future so we're going with the time travel theme. This imaginary future is a little bit dystopian Remember a utopia is an imagined future. That's perfect amazing. A dystopia is the opposite an imagined future That's terrifying. So maybe we could say that this is a dystopian future say 3050 okay, so the year is 3050 because we're going for the time travel element and It's a very dystopian Future okay, by the way, if you think about dystopian a very famous dystopian author is someone called George Orwell Okay, he wrote 1984 which is perhaps the most famous dystopian novel, okay, and here Perhaps this imaginary future is really horrible. So this space has been overrun with robots Artificial intelligence Everyone's lives are controlled and perhaps this train station is important because there's a train Which offers citizens the opportunity to go back in time. Okay, so that could be interesting and so the train goes back in time Meaning maybe people who live in the future in a place where their lives are very tightly controlled Perhaps even tightly monitored tightly watched by CCTV everywhere Artificial intelligence can even maybe predict their thoughts. So even their thoughts have been controlled They are offered the opportunity and they can board a train that goes back in time But maybe the time back they go to maybe they are promised to go to like a really idyllic simpler time, right? so Time back Could be let's say the 1960s. Okay, so this is like, you know a time which was maybe simpler Really fancy cool cars in the 60s and there was technology, but technology wasn't really that complicated This is before mobile phones you had cars you had, you know telephones, but it was the ones that are plugged into the Walls, okay, so you're not taking your phones out. You really have a simpler time. Okay, so it's what we call analogue Rather than digital times, okay So maybe this train offers the people the opportunity to go back in time to the 1960s Okay, so to these amazing 60s where time is simpler And maybe these people The train station are super super keen. They're almost like refugees From the future Right there in this horrible dystopian future and they want to go back in time Oh my gosh, I want to go back in time. I want to go to a simpler time We don't want artificial intelligence was just completely taken over our lives to keep on ruining us, right? However, maybe what could be the twist so the bait with the perhaps board the train but the twist Could be the train goes too far back This is a new invention and the train makes an error and it goes too far back To 1940 this is during World War two And then suddenly they go from this horrible future They time travel being super excited to go into the 1960s But actually the train malfunctions on its way back and then suddenly they're in the 1940s During World War two the enter during the time Hitler is basically going against the world And there's this kind of tyrannical leadership during this time and they find themselves in this time, okay? So remember of course and I'm thinking out loud, but remember you want to follow in your story the story mountains This is a terribly drawn mountain. Okay, so you've got the introduction or the beginning. Okay at the beginning of your mountain Then you obviously have your build up then your problem resolution and Ending okay, so you've got five elements of your story mountain that you want to follow Okay, so beginning could be related to the opening. So we're in 3050 the build up will be for example I'm gonna use first-person narrative focusing in on one particular narrator Who is super excited to go back to a simpler time the 1960s? And they've just heard about this new train and the tired of having the lives controlled by artificial intelligence Then the problem will be they're now rushing for the train. Okay, so they're saying goodbye to their family The family maybe is like really worried for them. Oh my gosh, we don't go to go And then they enter the train the hearts are racing They're really happy to be part of this new experiment and then the ending of course Remember resolution can still be something that's not great So it's not heading into great resolution ending will be the the hearts race as they now the train malfunctions And they hear maybe like sirens in the train and then they finally find themselves in 1940 during the second world war Okay, so remember with this kind of question all of this of course is a very kind of broad General way of showing the thought process that you should go through when you are Considering a creative writing story and when you are planning and plotting it of course It's not as basic as this I would actually say make a bit more of a detailed plan Okay, so allocate about 10 minutes to planning your story. Okay, so as you can see here as I've mentioned You've got five elements of your story. Okay, so you've got the beginning Unfortunately, I'm left-handed so I'm gonna have to tilt the page each time a right. Okay, so in the beginning This is where we set the scene. Okay, so it's 3050 and What will we call our narrator Nancy, so we'll call her Nancy She's a young 20 year old All right, maybe 20 sounds a little bit old for you But you might find in a few years time that 20 isn't that old. Okay, so maybe she's a young 20 year old She wants to start her life. She is fed up of of being controlled and then heard of a new train Right and this train which has been maybe pioneered by the government with the new like really fancy technology It offers people the opportunity to travel back to 1960 okay, so for volunteers Right and then Nancy who craves like a great, you know new start. She feels like super super Controlled in her current life and in the current place that she lives in so the build-up will be Nancy has already so where we find and meet Nancy is she is in the train station. Okay, so in the beginning She's in the train station With her family Okay, and then build-up is she's maybe feeling nervous and family so her family that's seeing her off is Questioning right are you are you sure you want to you know, they're the all at the train station so a train station and They are emotional remember by the way in your plan You can write in shorthand. It doesn't have to be long sentences. Okay Your plan is just to help you guide you so that you don't forget what you're writing in your story Okay, however you examiner they will love seeing a plan, but they don't want to see full sentences Okay, again, this is something that's a 10-minute process. So you just kind of jot down some ideas So now in your build-up. So you've got Nancy our main protagonist our main character She's there with a bunch of other people. Okay, if we go back. So of course in the beginning We're also going to describe, you know, the noises the tan always all that stuff in this train station Okay, and actually to be honest, I'm going to say that they're in London. So it's King's Cross St. Pancras in the future in 3050 Okay, so hopefully he's going to survive until 3050 and Nancy is there with her family So in the build-up she's nervous. She's nervous family is questioning her. Okay, and emotional goodbye Okay, so the last whistle sounds Okay, and she boards in the build-up and then also so now In the problem This is where we could have her being inside the train. So the you know, the train maybe is Through one of these tiny little doors, right? So she enters one of these doors and then the trains may be Just outside and she enters. Okay, however, perhaps it's like this gleaming metallic train with like these automatic Tanoys and stuff like that. Okay, so We have interior of the train so metallic train interior Okay, so Nancy is there with lots of other people Nancy looks at Everyone and she's just quiet. She's all alone and She's nervous nervous agitated clutching her suitcase Okay, so she's clutching it really nervously holding on to it and she can feel the buzzer the humming of The train as it comes to life. Yeah, so it starts moving it and then of course, it's time traveling So it starts moving faster Then lights Okay, because of course it's going back light years into from 3050 all the way to 1960 Okay, so of course, she's super excited. Okay, her heart is racing and so on and then resolution would be the Windows So she's looking out of the windows and now she sees like the scenery Changing and maybe she's seeing things You know, perhaps the there's maybe a digital clock that shows so on the digital on the windows as a digital clock Shows the years Right, so 3050 3049 and then it starts whizzing past right so whizzing By so there's maybe perhaps like the window for instance like this This could be the window and then she can see like people Unfortunately, I'm not very good at drawing but then maybe on this window. There's also a digital clock here But instead of the clock saying the time is saying the year, right? So it starts off with 3050 and then it's like a timer, but the timer is going backwards Okay, so now you're getting towards a resolution towards the end and Suddenly there's an alarm. So it starts whizzing train Starts shuddering and shaking and Then the timer the the years go past 1960 then 50 1950 then 1940 and then the ending would be when suddenly stopped at 1940 okay, if you're a history buff like me if you're really into your history You should know that the Second World War started in 1939. That's when Hitler Sparks the start of the Second World War. So 1940 is really now when the war the Second World War has really begun right and you know London looks completely different. It's being bombed as does Germany most of Europe and so on, okay? So she now the train Shudders to a stop and then Nancy her heart is racing as she looks out at soldiers And maybe these are soldiers who have stopped the train as it's entering perhaps the border Into England. So maybe the train was traveling through perhaps like Europe or parts of Europe and then at the border or just close to Germany Because don't forget that Germany also occupied for some time France, right? So this is not see soldiers, right? So stop it and Shout out angry orders for everyone To leave yeah, and then suddenly now she's in Nazi Germany. Oh my gosh, and then ending perhaps on a cliffhanger. So really Remember when you're planning think about even as your story. This is the story mountain Okay, remember the story mountain Beginning which is at the base of the mountain build up as you climb the mountain problem right at the mountain Okay, so this is when the trade is moving etc etc and Nancy's like feeling really uncertain But also excited Resolution the other side of the mountain the years are changing changing changes things. Okay great I'm going to get to 1960 but then suddenly the train whizzes past 1960 hang on why are you not stopping? And then the ending will now be so this is the other side of the mountain This is when they stop at 1940 during the Second World War. Okay, so this is time travel But time travel gone wrong. So this train has malfunctioned So now that we've got this plan and of course this plan is inspired by this image But of course this story remember a story it can be inspired by the image And of course you want to begin and really develop this image But you don't have to be stuck here and like it's descriptive writing if you're given an image for descriptive writing You have to keep the entire piece to that image the story can start off with this image But then of course the scenery can change a little bit and you can be in a different place Okay, so we're going to start off with this image and that's really important. However, of course Nancy our main protagonist is then going to time travel from this train station back into the past Okay, so of course the idea is that the train should have gone back to the same Kings Cross St. Pancras, but Kings Cross St. Pancras in 1960 a malfunction because it was an experiment It was a new invention and now she's found herself trapped in 1940 and that's what we're going to end it All right, so given we've got now our plan in lots of detail Let's begin with the story and as I mentioned we're going to start off with the beginning So what I'm going to do now is I'm going to write out the beginning paragraph And then afterwards what I'm going to do is walk you through how I opened it Hey, so let's look at the opening part of this story Okay, so this is the beginning part Okay, so this is the beginning where Nancy is in The station with her family and she's about to travel. Okay, and she's a volunteer So I'm going to read it and then go over the techniques and what to consider if you're putting together a story of this nature The Sun's gleaming rays shone through the train station's arched windows Soft yellow rays streamed through the array of windows and gilded the pearl colored marble floor The train station was buzzing Shrieks cries howls and laughter filled Kings Cross St. Pancras station as families clutched onto the loved ones one last time Nancy looked into her mother's watery hazel eyes She knew this may be their last goodbye Her mother had begged she had threatened She had cried she had cajoled In the last few weeks of her time at home Her mother had pleaded with Nancy not to board the time-travelling train to go back to 1960 What does she need to escape her reality? 3050 was a year of achievement and advancement. Why leave? Nancy sighed It was not an easy decision Her heart felt as heavy as lead yet life in 3050 was impossible Big brother England's official government was always watching Artificial intelligence on her phone, laptop and television could even predict what she wanted before the thought crossed her mind She yearned and wished for a simpler time She had read archaic books. She imagined the past a life before all of this technology freedom When big brother invented the time-travelled train and called for volunteers on its maiden journey back to 1960 Nancy jumped at the opportunity Today had arrived She wanted to start afresh in the past She hugged her mother one last time as a tannoy screamed it beckoned passengers to board the departing train. So Let's go over this opening and of course as you can see First year talk about the sun's rays Shining through all right. So of course bear in mind that this is shown Shining through and gilding which means covering almost in this golden color the floors. Okay, so I'm trying to keep it as close to this Okay, as I mentioned there's people milling about so it's probably quite a noisy train station because there's lots of people and so on And what we can imagine is maybe Nancy is one of these people and she's like hugging her mom I've also restricted the characters to just two at the beginning because what I don't want to do is Add too many characters. Okay in a story like this because you only have a very limited amount of time You have about 45 minutes and then five minutes, you need to go over your answers and so on You don't want to add too many characters to make it confusing for your reader. All right Also pay attention to the language that I use. Okay, so sun's gleaming rays and this idea of soft yellow rays So I'm using imagery that describes the color also the idea gilded again covered in gold Okay, the pearl colored marble floor and also I've used onomatopoeia. It was buzzing shrieks cries howl onomatopoeia Okay, talking about a typical train station and then I mentioned a train station king star saint pancre station And families are clutching the begging the you know the crying and of course Nancy is looking into her mom's watery hazel arse Maybe she's a single mom and Nancy's her own each daughter. Okay, so her mom is like really sad And then I use listing and I use short brief sentences. She had threatened to full stop She had cried full stop. She had cajoled Okay, so like her mom had tried to use all means and all manner of way to get Nancy to change her mind But Nancy wasn't going to change her mind. She was going to travel right and then I mentioned this idea of her time traveling So rather than starting with The train was about to time travel to 1960 and blah blah blah I create a build up a describe and create a really vivid image of the scene the setting Okay going back to this image or just remember you want to start with that Okay, so the scene the setting the noises the color what you can hear Okay, and then I then go back into my main character. Okay So she's about now to travel back to 1960 and then I indirectly showed that they were in 3050 rather than saying the year is 1350 I then add indirectly. Why did she need to escape her reality? Of course, this is a rhetorical question 3050 was the year of achievement and advancements You've got accidents and achievement and advancement of a but also this is where I mentioned that they are in 3050 Okay, so you want to do all of this stuff. That's indirect, okay Because what you're doing for this story to make it really interesting captivating and so on you're doing you're including these in an Indirect way not just putting them all in. Okay, remember show not tell rather than telling. Okay, it's 3050 We're about to go to 1960. That's not an exciting story. You show it gradually. Okay And as you can see, of course, there's a mix of long and short sentences Also rhetorical questions and as you can see here, you've got short sentence Why leave Nancy's side versus the longer sentences which slow down the pace Moreover, I set the scene whereby there's big brother. So this is actually directly borrowed from George Orwell 1984, okay So this is a great dystopian novel and also you can have some really good ideas This is also why it's really good to read widely, okay Because you can come up and have lots of ideas you can include and infuse in your storytelling However, so the england's official government in 3050 is big brother and they come up with you know They can they're controlling everything. However, they've come up with this new time travel train and the basic call for volunteers And Nancy's now given the backstory Nancy jumps to this opportunity and now in the beginning We've now gotten to the tannoy, you know the announcement calling Overhead and telling everyone okay time to board the train time to board the train. Okay So now Nancy is about to board the train. So now we're moving on from the beginning to the build-up and if you remember with the build-up This is where uh, you know the emotional goodbye happens Nancy Boards the train. Okay. So here the build-up Nancy's boarding the train and she's saying goodbye and she's really emotional Okay, so the build-up will be fairly brief because to be honest I've kind of started the build-up already So I'm going to write through the build-up and then I'll walk you through it Nancy grabbed her mother and clutched her close to her bosom Hot salty tears streaked her face as her mother wept My only daughter her mother cried don't leave Mother I'm so sorry Nancy gasped through her tears if if this works join me Perhaps you too can escape this city She cried as a tannoy sounded once more London's crings cross 1960 all aboard all aboard Nancy tore herself away from her mother She ran towards a narrow metallic door She could not look back or she would break her resolve Her heart heaved and raced in her chest White steam emerged from the train's doors The large gleaming metallic train looked like a cold robotic snake She pulled her small suitcase She had only filled it with bare essentials a few clothes two pictures of her mother and her favorite book She stepped into the core interior of the train as a machine siren screamed In a moment the doors clicked the train had shut her in Nancy's pupils dilated. She looked around her the gravity of what she had done suddenly sunk in She was going back to 1960 so you can see here in my build-up I've now described how she tears away from her mom, you know, her mom puts up a final fight She's crying don't leave don't leave and again here you can see these inflammatory sentences. Her mother's been really dramatic She's crying and Nancy of course isn't just completely cold So she's stuttering and stammering but then she has to leave okay, and then Nancy says oh, I really hope this works out and then you know Maybe you can join me, okay Then of course she has a tannoy and again This is always like the last call for a train and then she tears herself and then runs towards this massive train Okay, that's narrow metallic and it looks like a snake. Okay, so that's a simile And hopefully you're also noticing there's this kind of shift Okay, so in terms of sentences long sentences versus short sentences also the use of ellipsis exclamatory sentences of course also a really vivid imagery So narrow metallic door this idea of you know even her hot salty tears Which is streaking her face so she's feeling a lot of emotion and this train which looks really cold very cold Okay, again something which you can maybe associate with futuristic imagery these robotic trains And then now she enters and suddenly the gravity the importance the huge importance of what she's done is now suddenly sinking Okay, but obviously the doors have closed. It's too late and she's now going back into 1960 and here we've got a siblings And now she's going back. So this is sinking in and she has to now basically see the journey through So what we're going to do is move on to the next paragraph, which is the problem paragraph This is when the train is humming and it's going and of course Nancy has to just kind of look around She's feeling nervous agitated. She's clushing onto a suitcase and the train is now really really moving. Okay So once mom going to write this through and then walk you through the response All right, so let's look at the builder So picking up from here The train shuddered to life as the white overhead lights switched on Nancy walked unsteadily towards her seat Seat 102 She was passenger 102 She stepped slowly looking at each chair Passengers quizzically looked back at her A small man with dark bushy eyebrows fired his brows at her Seat 20 Nancy quickened her pace A slender blonde woman Gazed at her before quickly averting her turquoise eyes Seat 70 A small boy holding his mother's hands smiled a toothless grin at her Seat 110 She looked behind him A small shrunken lady had fallen asleep on seat 111 and her seat was thankfully by the aisle She sat and placed her suitcase in the gap between her legs and the front seat Her heart thumped her hands were slick and slippery Beads of sweat formed at her temple The train wished forward as its speed quickened from a humming speed to a thundering rush What would 1960 look like? She felt a mix of awe and terror So now this is the problem. So this is where she's now figuring out where she's going to sit Oh my gosh, what's going to happen? And then obviously she's looking at these different passengers as she's looking for her own individual seat. Okay, so she's seat Or rather she's not seat 102. So she's this is seat 110 and she's 112 So actually this would be change and this is why it's really good to look back over your answer Okay, so she's passenger rather than 102. It will be passenger 112 Okay, so actually this should be a really good example of how you need to always double check your answers Okay, so she's seat 112 Meaning she's checking for her seat. Okay So now we've got the problem paragraph So we've got our beginning build up and problem out of the way now We need to move on to the resolution paragraph. So this is where She is in the train and she's looking at the scenery changing But then these years are whizzing by and suddenly it goes past 1960 and then 1950 and 1940. Okay So given that I'm nearing the end of my paper Okay, remember if you're nearing the end always make sure that you try to ask for extra paper All you just need to do is raise your hands and then the Invigilators will give you extra paper. All right. So as you can see I've got my trusty notepad So I'm going to begin my resolution on this extra sheet of paper So again, I'm going to write it out and then afterwards I will explain and walk you through my resolution So let's go over this resolution paragraph. Okay She looked at the train's windows as people fields animals and buildings whizzed by She watched as buildings changed It was like watching life being rewinded Gleaming skyscrapers were demolished one by one with builders People were walking backwards the skyline changed robots disappeared clothes and fashions reversed Her eyes widened as the train gathered more and more speed A clock blinked at her at the top of the train window showing the year 30 50 30 10 3000 2 9 9 9 2700 20 30 2000 1991 Nancy Nancy felt a force pushing her she sank deep into her seat. She felt the trains force the trains force defy time 1980 1977 The trains white overhead lights started flickering The thundering train was shaking and shuddering The putridged stench of something burning filled her nostrils 1971 1966 1962 The train gathered speed 1960 Passengers began to gasp some shouted others cried for help the overhead lights were crimson color as sirens screamed 1955 1950 1948 Nancy's breath escaped in short bursts It was impossible to breathe. What was going on? Suddenly the train began to lose momentum 1943 1942 1941 It drew to a halt as Nancy looked out at the desolate landscape before her A shriek escaped her lips as she looked into the cold emerald eyes of a soldier 1940 The train drew down to a halt. So a few things to pay attention to in this The first thing of course is a time travel aspect. Okay, so as you can see here again I've used like a mix of lots of different Phrases for instance, you know longer sentences shorter sentences listing and so on okay So people filled animals buildings always buy okay, and as you can see here I've then showed the countdown. Okay. This is a time travel element. Okay 30 50 30 10 3000 and so on and again I keep on adding this time travel element throughout okay to change the pace and you've got lots of ellipses And hopefully you're noticing that I'm not relying too much on things like dialogue Okay, lots and lots of description because you still want to add lots of elements Which make your story really vivid in your reader's mind and of course There's this constant build-up and then finally We find that the train basically breaks. Okay something terrible happens And then it whizzes past 1960 and goes now to 1940 and as you can see here this minor sentence and even these series of minor sentences It focused on attention on this is not where they're supposed to have been end up Okay, and she looks into the eyes of a soldier. So this is really scary So now I'm going to go into the final paragraph Okay, so this is now the ending as I mentioned Nancy now finds that she's in 1940 The train train has shuttered to stop and she's the Nazi soldiers who've stopped it and that are Barking angry orders for everyone to leave a case. Then that's where the story will end So let's begin and I'm going to finally finish with the ending paragraph Right. So let's now look at the ending. Okay, so this is the ending Where basically Nancy and everyone on the train realizes that they may be trapped in 1940 Nancy's mind raced She frantically looked around screams chaos panicked cries The train was filled with people shouting back at the soldiers and guards who had surrounded it from all sides What happened? Nancy looked back at the soldier. He had on black overall And a white round symbol stitched onto his black hat It was a nazi's Nancy's heart leaped in panic. She looked behind him and beyond Buildings have been reduced to mere rubble. The landscape was filled with debris She had read about this They were back in the time of war. They traveled to 1940 the second world war boom boom boom The soldiers pounded on the train's windows with the butt of the large rifles They screamed and shouted in German Nancy closed her eyes and inhaled deeply as she heard screams and gulfed the train What would they do? All right, so of course the ending is brief but quite dramatic Okay, so as you can see there's like a slow build-up suddenly they realize that they're trapped. Okay, so Nancy Her mind is racing. She's figuring out what can we do? What can we do that this chaos? Okay? And again, as you can see here, you've got one word sentence that screams chaos Okay to show like the panic people now inside the train of course don't want to be here either So they're all screaming the scared the crying and then she's wondering. Okay What happened and of course because it's first person narrative We're asking this is echoing the question that she would have in her mind. Okay And actually this is not first person narrative. It's third person But it's seeing everything through Nancy's eyes. Okay, so she's still asking what's happened And then she looked back at the soldier and she's where he's wearing these black overalls, okay And of course also, you know, we realize that they're the Nazis, okay And her heart is now panicking and buildings are now rubble because of course everything has been bombed as a war Right and the landscape is filled with debris. Okay, so complete rubbish is everywhere because of course This is a war zone and she'd read of this and they've gone back to 1940 They've time traveled back to the second world war Which was not the intention and then I've used onomatopoeia here Okay to show now the soldiers are becoming really violent. They're trying to get everybody to come out So they're hitting with the butt of their rifles. They're hitting onto the train windows. Okay And these soldiers are now shouting at them in German So now, you know Nancy and everybody's probably really disorientated what's going on and then she's closing her eyes She's wondering what's going to happen because she can only hear screams from inside the train And of course from outside and then this story ends with a rhetorical question. So what would they do? Okay So as you can see here We basically written this entire story and this includes of course this time travel idea Okay, so starting off at St. Pancras in 3050 and then trying traveling back all the way to 1940 So I understand that this is a fairly, you know detailed Question number five. However, what I would suggest is go back over this video You know try to absorb some of these phrases Okay, remember that you want to have a mix of really really good interesting imagery Make sure of course given that this is a story you start with the image However, you can of course go beyond the image because you don't have to stick to that Your story can kind of go in different directions and make sure as it's going in different directions To really gradually build that up. Okay, so we've started off with Nancy saying bye to her mom She should then gets into the train. She looks at the train There's this build up not suddenly, you know, she goes to her mom then she's in 1940 then she's starting if I may then, you know too much stuff happening and it's moving too quickly Okay, so hopefully this illustrates to you how you can kind of create that gradual build up without doing too much All right, so that's really it when it comes to answering question number five for this particular paper Thank you so much for listening