 All right, I'm gonna be honest here. Okay, I always try to be honest, but I've got a headache Kind of stressed. I was you know, like stressed all yesterday and then I woke up today just like Kind of having nightmares not really nightmares, but just like stress mayors whatever you call them It wasn't like the boogeyman was coming to get me. It was just like everything's stressful And I feel like I'm swimming uphill Like upstream and I'm just getting shoved down the stream and Constantly struggling and just keeping my head above water and I'm not making progress, you know and No one in my life is helping because like all the all the people who are in my life And this probably comes back to what I was saying Kind of recently in a video about how I'm too good at accepting Negative people into my life. I'm not good enough at accepting positive people in my life Which I do need to work on and it's funny like when I was when it used to be a camp counselor years and years ago You know, there was there was always there were always a few kids who were like the serious problem kids who are gonna have to get kicked out of the program and Pretty soon they just started sending these kids to me because I knew how to talk to them You know because like I was kind of a troubled kid and I'd be like, hey, yeah, you know a Lot of things about life sucks A lot of people suck, but then you have to kind of figure out. What kind of life do you want? You know, do you want? Do you want to just let that beat you down or do you want to figure out some some better way to live like something? Something do something with your life, you know, other than just being trampled You know, there's there's always something you can do, you know, I could talk to people like that and I've never been good at accepting that kind of That kind of feedback that kind of help So maybe I need to do that to myself right now And hopefully at some point in the not too distant future I can get more positive people in my life around me All right, so Jamie, what's going on? You feel like you're not making any progress you're constantly, you know trying to try new things and do these experiments and Trying to get somewhere and a lot of times you fall in your face and then you keep trying and things don't work and then Sometimes things do work a lot of times they don't and then sometimes One problem will snowball into a few other things and over months. It'll become like more problems and it just gets stressful and you know what? That is basically the definition of innovation that I just described there That totally is that is innovation. That's how you get somewhere So what I'm sitting here being stressed out that my path isn't easy But the thing is if you go if you want to go on the path that everyone else is using yeah It's easy but if you don't think that's a good path and you want to find your own path and You don't have anyone else to come with you at the time. You have to make your own path You don't just get to go down it. You have to make it as you're going and that's a lot harder and That's what you're doing Jamie. That is what you're doing. All right So I have to look at am I actually getting anywhere on this path because I feel like I'm not getting anywhere, you know But okay, where am I right now compared to where I was? five ten twenty years ago and My am I making progress or am I just spinning my wheels? Well, okay, when you put it in in that kind of context Oh, I'm way ahead of where I was even a few years ago You know, I've got transportation without fuel figured out I'm I've been growing more and more food. I've got banana trees and plantain trees I have new Breadfruit coming on a tree the the first breadfruit I've ever grown. They're like this this big right now. I Make I'm clearly making progress there Quantitatively, I am definitely making progress there and that's one of my big goals is to become more independent grow more food And what is what is the big goal for me the overall thing? I'm trying to Create more value than I destroy in my life Which is a little bit of a difficult thing when you're a living creature because as a living creature Like I need to destroy other things to live like I need to consume stuff just to be alive So I'm trying to somehow create more value than I'm using Growing my own food helps with that because then I'm eating the food from the thing and then I poop it out And then it becomes more food and I'm I'm exchanging oxygen with these other plants and I'm actually creating more life than I'm taking good good All right, what's another thing? Okay, I'm I just turned 45 and I'm as strong and healthy as I've ever been like there's been no Noticeable deterioration in this thing this physical human thing I've got and that's another big part of of my goals here is I want to I want to have a lifestyle that Is conducive to a healthy human body? Okay? That is going well, I'm I'm doing really well there What else? You know, I'm figuring out how to make things longer lasting so I haven't So I'm getting further and further away from disposable things and I'm getting further down the path of Long-term solutions to things like long-term life life creations things that For instance creating a concrete house. Yeah, it takes longer to do it But when it's done at last lifetime, sure you might have to patch some cracks once in a while or whatever But the the thing's not gonna rise. It's not gonna get eaten by termites or deteriorate. I'm making progress I'm figuring out. All right I'm figuring out a lot of different ways to make life better for myself and for the people around me I'm teaching my kids cool things. They have a they have a child life a childhood that Is amazing to me. I mean my kids childhood is so cool. They're learning so much They're they're playing in nature. They're strong and healthy and smart and curious and all this stuff All this stuff because I'm I'm going through these struggles and going down this path and Making it happen. It's a difficult path because I I don't know anyone else who's gone down it And I'm cutting this damn path myself, but it is working. I am making progress. All right. Maybe I should Maybe I'm just being too hard on myself because when I look at it all like that I am Actually making really good progress Down this difficult path with all my struggles and all the stuff that I'm worried about It is basically how you innovate it is how you come up with new ways to do things You don't just get there straight from a to b you have to go through a bunch of difficult processes Sometimes you're gonna fall on your face Sometimes you have a week when you smash your toe on something and it's like cut in half and it's healing and Then another thing happens and like eight other things go wrong, you know, sometimes that's gonna happen when you're when you're forcing your way down an unknown path and You know what? I can already feel my headache starting to subside I'm starting to feel a little bit less like Like I'm screwing up and I'm just spinning my wheels and I'm starting to feel more like Like I should like I'm on this heroic quest to To adventure into this place that is better than where I am and it is working and not just that When I'm when I'm sharing this stuff with you guys like I'm gonna post this video When I'm sharing these videos. I'm getting feedback from people who say Hey, you really made a big difference in my life So maybe I need to stop listening to the the people Closest to me. That's that's the biggest problem. There are some of the closest people to me are really Really negative and have just been gnawing at me and slowly dragging me down and I need to stop I need to stop letting that happen I Need to listen to more to the people Who are sending you messages saying hey, you're making a difference in my life. Thank you Thank you for what you're doing. Keep doing it. Please Because that's the message I need that's the message I need to hear All right, Jamie, you know, I'm I'm feeling better about things I'm glad I turned the camera on and started just talking to it I didn't really have a plan for what I was doing here But I'm feeling much better than when I sat down 10 minutes ago or whatever. So what do I need to do? I'm making progress Things are going well I'm in it. I'm in a difficult place right now because I've got a bunch of projects that are in the works and are difficult And I'm struggling and I'm learning new things and whatever But I'm getting somewhere so Just I just need to keep making progress one step at a time. All right. What's my next step? I'm gonna go get some buckets of rocks and sand from Over there and put them in this pile here That's what I need to do Seems like a pretty simple thing But it's part of a major big goal that I'm working toward. Okay Let's do it Okay, yeah, so this is just some dumb pile of rocks, but it is going to be something amazing In this little banana tree here That when I planted had two tiny leaves on it that is going to turn into bananas I Just transplanted this here breadfruit tree. It had one leaf on it at the time and now it's got three This boat is freaking incredible And I'm taking for granted what I've done here. All right, Jamie When you're cutting your way through the deepest darkest scariest part of the jungle Just keep cutting man Just keep swimming keep going You know what? Maybe I should be using this thing to my advantage this thing where I have such ease dealing with troubled people Maybe I should start like a camp for troubled kids or something I mean that would that would be so easy for me because I can handle people like that so naturally Anyway, that's something to think about later