 I'm a believer that if you set your goals appropriately maybe you hit them 30 40 50 percent of the time You don't hit them every time if you're hitting your goal every time then I could make a compelling argument that you've set the bar too low I want to have Alan on our show for a long time. I was just telling him this off Camera I want to have a mom because he's got a really unique perspective in an upfront view to some of the key Performers in the NBA for many many years and he's taken the lessons He's learned from these high performers and he's distilled it down in information that everybody can use as an entrepreneur as a father as a mother it's just a human being and He communicates it in a very unique way. We're gonna go very deep today on performance on Your game his first book I read which is called raise your game the book that's out now is called sustain your game High performance keys to manage stress avoid stagnation and beat burnout I think everybody listening to this need some help right now in the world with stress stagnation and burnout So Alan Stein welcome to the show bro. Oh man. It's so awesome to be here. My pleasure finally man You know, I want to start out. I want to start out with Kobe Bryant Yes So Alan's work with everybody from people like Kobe to Kevin Durant to Steph Curry and many many companies and business leaders as well But you tell this great story. I think it's around a Nike camp or something like that with Kobe Bryant That just blew my mind that I think just personifies Greatness and high standards. So tell us that story. Sure. Well, I mean it absolutely changed my life So I had a chance to meet Kobe in 2007 It was the first ever Nike skills Academy and they were building a series of camps around their signature players who of course at that time Kobe Bryant was atop of that mountain and flew out to Los Angeles here la la land to work that event and I had a chance to watch one of his really early morning workouts Which for those legendary absolutely legendary and for folks that are familiar those have a start time of 4 a.m And you know and of course the most impressive part of that is you're talking about a guy that had already reached the mountain top You know, he's already a surefire Hall of Famer multimillionaire 10 times over NBA champion MVP I mean and he's still up in the offseason putting in that type of work and and I remember Being as a younger coach being shocked at the simplicity of what he was doing I mean, he spent the first 30 minutes without even having a ball in his hands He was doing basic pivoting drills and footwork drills and his workout lasted for a couple hours And I remember vividly at the end of this workout going up to him and saying Kobe, I don't get it man You're you're the best player in the world Why are you doing such basic drills? And I'll never forget it. He gave me a really friendly smile and a wink But he said in a really serious tone Why do you think I'm the best player in the world? Because I never get bored with the basics And and that changed my life that changed my perspective You know, I went into that workout expecting to see some sizzle some sexiness You know some flash and he just was routinely drilling down on the basic fundamentals and you know Ever since that day that has been my core philosophy for performance Is never getting bored with the basics and working on mastery of the fundamentals during the unseen hours Really good, bro. Like we're right there already. We're already into the good stuff Absolutely because I think there's a thing in leadership that's leadership fatigue We get tired of saying the same things over and over again, even though we should I think in business and life, there's just a fatigue of the mundane of doing the things that actually work And we move away from them And sometimes the greatest people in the world just don't allow themselves to suffer from the fatigue of the repetition True absolutely and you hit the nail on the head. That's incredibly insightful I think we can readily acknowledge that the basics if you allow them to can be monotonous Can be mundane and can get boring unless you have that type of approach to them And even if you don't love doing the basics, you need to love what the basics produce for you Which is basically creating that foundation to which the rest of the house is built and guys like kobe Um, they never leave them and that's that's the key and the the beautiful part is it's not saying that you don't also graduate to do more advanced techniques and so forth It says you never leave the basics and are they like the building blocks to allow you to do the Great things right like they're the fundamental things the footwork and basketball. It's the Communication of presenting skills in business. It's the vision stretching capacity of a leader. It's the The generosity and kindness and gentleness that requires from a parent that we have to do over and over again and show that love Right. It's it's the repetition. We get bored of I don't know who said at first. Maybe it was tony robbins I'm not sure I say it all the time. I sometimes I think I said it first I don't know but the complexity is the enemy of execution That oftentimes we try to complicate things in our life and then we have an inability to execute true Absolutely. Um, simple is smooth and then smooth is what gets it done and uh, yeah And of course in a game like basketball for your listeners that follow it's it's footwork. It's shooting mechanics It's how well you handle the ball, you know, we all know those are the basics So the the first step for anyone trying to improve performance in any area of their life First of all is to admit that the basics work But then second is having the humility to acknowledge that doing the basics every day is not easy But what you have to do is get crystal clear on what are the basic fundamental building blocks of whatever it is You're trying to improve if you're trying to improve your marriage What are the handful of fundamentals that will go into a nurturing relationship if you're trying to be a more Uh influential and impactful executive What are the handful of things that you and you could go down the list Whether you want to be a musician an artist anything in between You have to get crystal clear on what those basics are and then you have to commit towards working towards them relentlessly During the unseen hours to work towards mastery unseen hours That's the other part of the story that fascinated me So as I understand it you ask him the day before can I come watch this workout? And he goes, uh, yeah four o'clock And it wasn't four p.m. It was four a.m. Yes, but you I'll let you share this But you're like, well, I'm gonna impress this guy and get there early So there's a four a.m. Workout, but what happens tell them what happens when you get there and you get there early Well, yeah, and I arrived today early because I believe you're making a good first impression And I believe that getting places early is is a sign of respect to the person that you're gonna meet and you know As a young coach, I'm thinking what could be better than me leaving my mark and impressing kobe So if he thinks he's working out at four, I'm gonna be waiting for him at the gym at, you know 3 30 a.m. And he is gonna be blown away And instead I arrive at the gym and can see the lights already on Can hear sneakers squeaking and a ball bouncing from the parking lot I walk in at 3 30 in the morning. He's going through a warm-up. He doesn't even count that as part of his workout So he's doing that at 3 30 before his workout actually started with his trainer at four and And he went on for a couple hours again sticking to the basics and just drilling down and you know He's one of those guys that really understands the concept You know, if you want to perform well in front of millions Then you have to be willing to put in millions of reps when no one else is watching Which is how we define the unseen hours and that that actually I Stole from my friend drew handlin who's an MBA skills coach who he's the one that came up with the term unseen hours And I conveniently borrowed that and I use it everywhere because I really believe that Success in anything even the success of your podcast is predicated on the due diligence and the research that you do on each guest Before the mics go hot very true And that's the unseen hours and that's what a lot of people they don't see that the standard is different Right. So like this idea that a 4am workout Look, let's just be really honest you and I you know the NBA a lot better than I do But I know professional sports and most dudes are coming home around 4am in the NBA oftentimes Not starting not having a workout at 4am and then to know that no, it's not 4am He was you're there at 3 30. He had already been warming up for 25 or 30 minutes before There's just a different standard. Yeah, I think with the elite performer I think a elite mother has just a little bit different standard than an average mother I think an elite executive. They just set a different culture of standards around that's got to be part of it, right? Absolutely And I don't know if you know the reason that he did the workout at 4am But it parlays perfectly into your new book, you know, just do one more. The reason Kobe does that he understands that Even the most aggressive Players in the NBA they're going to get in two workouts a day During the off season First one is usually around 9 or 10 a.m. And then they'll take a lunch break and then they'll come back at 3 or 4 So his mindset was if everyone else in the league is going to be doing two workouts a day I'm going to do three because I'm going to do one more than they're doing And the only way I can squeeze that in is if I get up and do it at 4 So when he's coming home from his first workout His competition is just waking up to go in for their first workout So then he's doing his second workout while they're doing their first and then it's it's the compounding interest effect of If I do this every single day in the off season for not just years but in his case decades He said no one will ever catch me because every time I wake up I'm going to do one more than you're doing you'll never catch me And I think that's part of what gave him that you know that mamba mentality Why did I not interview before I wrote the book because that would all be in the book right there like 100% verbatim exactly Why I wrote the book and what I believe so this notion of This this what most people say well, that's a crazy pace and you write in your book about avoiding burnout So I'm under I there's almost a duality there of you okay. You're going to do this crazy pace How does one do those things and then still not fry or burn out? What would be a couple of things that you would say? Burnout is the result of misalignment between the work that you're doing and your core values your interest your fascination And the the meaning behind your work. I don't know your daily schedule, but I imagine it's pretty immense I imagine you work a lot of hours But the reason you're not approaching burnout is you find meaning and purpose in those hours You're being of service to millions of people So that's why you don't experience burnout if those two things start to splinter If you were working 60 70 80 hours a week for work that you didn't enjoy work You didn't find fascinating work You didn't feel was making a contribution to other people's lives work that you didn't find meaningful You would write you'd be on the cusp of burnout and that's what a lot of people are experiencing So it's not just the long hours It's when long hours are not congruent with what it is that lights you up and fills your bucket bro Very good speaking of congruency Just meeting you briefly mutual friends of ours I interview authors sometimes and they don't reflect what I see in their book or quite frankly Sometimes they don't even really know and understand everything that's in their book One of the things about you is that you own this information Like this is your content. This is your message. You're it's just reflective. I'm watching you It's like what do you got give me the other one And it's outstanding and I wonder if that's important to you that you live the things that you're teaching Oh, absolutely. I would think as a keynote speaker and an author I'm holding myself to an even higher standard I mean, I don't know that anything would make me more sick to my stomach Then for someone to see me doing something that is not in alignment with what I preach from stage or what I put in my books And and I don't hold myself to a standard of perfection. I'm fallible. I make mistakes I have lapses in judgment But generally speaking the fact that I'm putting this content out there I want to hold myself to that and I'll also say that the books I write I write books based on what it is that I'm going through in my life And I write books that I myself need to read so it's actually a form of therapy for me to write something You know, I've absolutely experienced stress stagnation and burnout in my life several times So I wanted to get to the root of it because I figure if it can help me Certainly somebody else out there is going through similar difficulties and challenges So I want to offer that to them and and the last thing I'll say on that is with any of this stuff I'm not speaking from a place of mastery. This is all stuff that I am still working on But the book is what holds me to that standard. So when I find myself getting momentarily stressed I actually smile have a kind and compassionate conversation with myself and just say Alan remember you write about this You speak about this now you need to live it and and that tongue-in-cheek kind of Self-compassion actually gets me through those times. Yeah, you talk about being kind and compassionate in the book And we'll touch on that a little bit in a minute. I loved the book. I read it in a day and a half and um I both books by the way and I There's a part of the book that really resonated with me on focus and you kind of break focus down I'll just let you cover it a little bit, but you talk about focus having really three components Can we talk about that a little bit the focus element? Absolutely. Well The most important about important part about focus and we and I know you know I've listened to every single one of your shows and one of the common themes with most of your guests Is everyone understands the importance of being in the present moment? Yeah, and understanding that you know if we're dragging stuff from the past or we're getting anxious about the future Then we're tending to lose focus in the present moment and that's the first thing that's going to heighten stress You know, uh of all the different definitions. I've heard from stress the one that resonates most with me is from ecart tolly You know modern-day philosopher who basically says stress is the desire for things to be different than they are in this present moment So the very first step to lowering stress is mere acceptance Is saying that what's going on around me right now is outside of my control And I might not like it and it might not be my preference But this is what is going on right now and our stress doesn't come from events and circumstances Our stress comes from our response or our resistance to those events and circumstances and When I heard that it was like a a light bulb went off and I find that incredibly empowering and liberating Because that means we are no longer Victims or puppets to the events and circumstances happening in the world. We get to choose our response That's right, man. And that that to me that means we always have the keys to the car. Yeah I uh often say I agree with you by the way I often say that it's not the events of our life that define it It's the meaning we attach to the event and often that meaning Comes from the question we ask ourselves about it. What does this mean? So I feel like, you know, take a guy like Kobe or Durant Steph You An executive who's at a platform at a high level an entrepreneur When there's, you know, in Kobe's case, there's six sections left and Jackson draws up a play that's going to come to Kobe That event that's about to happen. He attaches a meaning that I have an opportunity to rise I have an opportunity to win this game where someone else might attach a meaning to it of What if I miss the shot, right? That's there. It's the it's the meaning we attached the event You pointed at me when I said that so I want to make sure you get a chance to comment on it Oh, you nailed it perfectly so much insight right there It's the difference between being nervous about taking that shot and being excited because it is an opportunity to showcase All of the mornings you were in the gym at 4am making hundreds of thousands of shots every off season He revels in those types of moments and you know, I know you've said so many times on your your previous episodes That life is is happening for you. It's not happening to you and that's really what this is talking about It's saying that yeah, things are going to happen in the world that we don't necessarily like and they're not our preference But they're not the universe that isn't conspiring against you or me That's no one's trying to put these roadblocks in your way intentionally to slow you down These things are just happening and how you choose to look at those things Ultimately determines your your stress level. I want to look at this focus thing again. You said you said, um Focus is about changing your perspective to the immediate And then you say you The here the now Is that what you mean when you say presence and can you elaborate on what that how does that apply? How do I apply that in a situation for sure? You know the the short definition of living in the present moment I've heard from nick sabin and i've heard from oprah wimphrey. So it has to be true with those two people They're saying it has to be true. I want to know what they're saying and that's basically to be where your feet are Wherever you are in the physical make sure that's where you are in the mental and the emotional and the spiritual as well And that's how I define being present and you know, I also want to say that that being present is arguably the biggest challenge I face with myself every single day. It's not easy It's so easy to get you know distracted from the past or anxious about the future So what I like to say is we need to shrink our window We we need to like even right now right now you and I are making eye contact while we're recording this And I can see a little bit of a frame in my peripheral. That's all that I can see in my vision right now I cannot see what's outside of this studio. I can't see what's going on in the rest of la I have shrunk my vision to the point where you are my focal point Because you deservedly so have my full undivided attention right now And we need to be able to shrink that window in other areas of life So think about six seconds left in the game. Phil Jackson draws up a play for kopey bryant He needs to shrink that window The only thing he needs to be worried about is executing that play to the best of his ability in order to score He can't be worried about what's going on in the stands. What's going on with the opponents What the referees may do he can't be worried about what else is happening outside of the the staple center He has to shrink that window so that he can have razor sharp focus in that moment and when we can learn to do that Basically on cue then we improve our ability to focus and stress decreases accordingly bro brilliant Freakin brilliant. Thank you. I I've had a very busy day today And I was sharing that with you beforehand and I asked sarah before you came in I said, can you give me five minutes? I need to go change my shirt And everyone the producers want me to wear different clothes, but I actually set that up specifically today I'm going to change my shirt after this interview before the next one and the reason is Exactly what you just said I went in there and said shrink your focus I wanted to still it down not what I have after this not what I had before it Not what I have to do tomorrow Not what's going on in the other room over there shrink your focus and it allows you to be hyper present And also for me when that happens. I feel like things slow down rather than speed up Is there a mechanism in that with high performers were under duress? Things begin to slow down for them as they shrink their focus Whereas someone who performs maybe at a not great level things speed up somehow for them Yeah, and the speed up comes from distractions It's being it's being worried about everything else that's going on and that's you know in the in basketball vernacular My goal when I was working with players was to get them to play present Which is play in the present moment and there's there's three components to being in the present First is just focus on the next play Don't worry about the play that just happened Ed. You just missed the layup. Don't worry about it next play Ed you just turn the ball over. It's okay next play Ed. I know the referee missed the call It's over next play See if you're worried and you're you're wasting your emotional currency into the plays that just happened Then you're not able to put them into the current moment Which in basketball at you know playing at that type of pace means that if if you're still pouting and dejected about the turnover Your man probably just scored two points now on the other end. So you just turned a two-point mistake into a four-point mistake We all know we're going to make mistakes, but we cannot be in the business of compounding them We have to we have to stop them after the first one The second component is just to focus on what you have control over control the controllables Which I believe if you break everything else down is just our own attitude and effort So just focus on the effort you're giving and the attitude that you're having to everything going on In this case during a basketball game and then the last part of that is To focus on the process Don't worry about the outcomes Focus on the process if it's the first quarter of the game You can't be worried whether or not you're going to win or lose the game All you need to worry about is winning or losing this possession If we're on offense Can we get the best shot that we the five of us are capable of getting the highest percentage shot? Or if we're on defense, can we collectively do everything we can to make you take the lowest percentage shot possible? And of course the beautiful part is if you do that consistently enough as legendary coach bill wall said of the 49ers The scoreboard takes care of itself and that's ultimately what the process is all about You need to be careful. You're driving your car right now because your accelerator is going down a little bit You're like an 83 miles an hour check it. I know this because i'm leaning in with you right now I'm feeling myself like let's go right like or if you're running on the treadmill You're blowing that thing at level eight right now and you get back down to level six Because that's exactly how I feel I knew we were going to do this today, but like this is really good And by the way, I don't want anybody listening to hear basketball. You're you're saying basketball You're thinking life your job and listening to alan He's the best at this when he comes in to speak or when you read his book Is the transference of these metaphors or these strategies from sports into what however it applies for you That's a lesson for everyone listening to any podcast or reading any book It's being able to distill that information as it applies to you and your experience So one other thing The athletes I work with struggle with and I think people do in business and in life and in relationships Is also projecting into the future And then they have this conversation with themselves about I'll give you an example a golfer who's got a putt They should make three foot putt to win a golf tournament. Where's the nerves come from? I believe oftentimes the nerves come from believe it or not This bizarre conversation of projection of if I miss this putt, what will they say about me? If I miss this shot at the end of the game, what will they say about me? If my guy hits this shot on me in basketball, what will they say? And it's literally Projecting into the future the negative emotions or feelings about what other people will actually say or think About this mistake you may potentially make and I think this happens on posts on social media I think it happens if I walk across the room and ask this person out for a date It's the projection of what they will say or think about you In the midst of an experience that hasn't even happened yet that you're projecting a negative outcome from That's also true in sports and in life true the projected in the future. Absolutely. Oh man. I love where this is going You're so insightful with that and also what they're 100 consume with is merely the outcome See they've left the process. They're just worried about the outcome Does the ball go in or not go in does the ball go in the cup or not go in the cup Does she say yes when I ask her out or does she say no When we can learn and this is something that I've worked really hard on in my own life over the last couple years Is learning how to detach from outcomes and just love the process and the work And where we really have an issue is if outcomes and results actually define our self worth Then we have a problem, you know, I know you're big on setting goals and we want to set, you know Really big and aggressive goals. I'm a believer that if you set your goals appropriately Maybe you hit them 30 40 50 percent of the time you don't hit them every time If you're hitting your goal every time then I could make a compelling argument that you've set the bar too low Well, if your entire identity and self-worth and confidence and self-belief is wrapped up in outcomes and reaching goals and achievement Then that means half the time you feel good about yourself Half the time you feel lousy about yourself And I don't know about you but life's too short to feel lousy half of the time Bro, I love what you're saying number one I think the real number if you set real goals is more like 20 25 percent of the time Number two if you attach your outcomes your identity and worth outcomes You'll be chasing that the rest of your life And when that outcome or your career or what you do no longer exist or the relationship you'll be lost and empty And this is a very nuanced thing. I want to go there for a minute Sure because you should have goals in your life and outcomes. However, I am the best flow I'm in the best state when I do detach from outcome Yes, and it's a very unique nuance because I know what I want to have happen Which is I want to hit this shot or I want to make a million dollars or I want And it's about having that intention But then separating from the outcome because if you become so outcome focused This is a massive stress increase or pressure increase in our lives And I think most people really struggle with how to navigate it And I don't know that I've been great at being able to explain the nuance between the two So I'm going to push you a little further than we've even gone How would you nuance those two things? What is the difference between I have a goal But in the execution process I detach during that moment so that I'm just focused on the execution of the process Is that what you're saying? Yeah, I've got two ones a real short analogy and one's another basketball example Good surprise. The first is uh, if I was tasked with building a brick wall Which I most likely won't be because I'm not very handy. I'm not very good with building stuff I'm not very good with tools But I have confidence that I could build a brick wall and the reason is I've trained myself to not worry about the end result Not worry about the wall and put all of my focus into laying each and every brick with care and precision If I can take one brick and set it exactly where it needs to go And then I pick up the next brick and set it exactly where it needs to go if I do that consistently over time The wall just takes care of itself. I don't have to be worried about the wall I have to focus on laying bricks and that's also what I have control over is laying bricks Now from a basketball analogy Had an opportunity to work with queen's university is one of the top division two men's basketball programs in the united states And their previous coach Bart Lundy is a good friend of mine And he has broken it down at queen's university that there are four key stats in the game of basketball That heavily impact whether or not they win the game And the first stat is turnover differential if we can have more possessions than our opponent gives us a better chance to win Second is offensive rebound differential If we can rebound our own misses and take more shots than our opponent gives us a better chance to win Third is free throws attempted It's the highest percentage shot per possession If we can take more of those than our opponent better chance to win and last is three pointers attempted The three-pointer in the college game is a massive weapon if we can take more clean looks from three than our opponent Gives us a better chance to win when queen's university comes out on top in those four stats They win 97 percent of their games Which means statistically they're almost unbeatable. So my my rhetorical question for your millions of listeners is What do you think coach lundy and his staff talk about? Remind and emphasize before every workout Every practice every film session and before every game. It's just those four things He never talks about winning championships banners or trophies Why if they do those four things winning championship trophies and banners take care of themselves You don't have to focus on them. So it's focusing on the things that we have the the control over and that goes back to again Shrinking that window. I mean, it's very good John wooden's probably the winningest coach in all time. He never discussed winning at all ever It was all process And again, everybody got to think about how these things apply to your own life and how you put them into action because This is profound stuff and i've been doing the show for a long time. You know the The truth that you're spitting here Is uh remarkable to me and the application of it. Here's how they people need to apply that So once again, and i'm so glad that you brought up the point that well I may use basketball examples because that's where i've spent most of my life Folks need to take these and figure out how they can you know apply them to their situation So step number one is figure out what what does winning look like to you or what does success look like to you Again, this could be in your marriage. This could be you know in your business This could be for something you're doing in your community But figure out what does winning look like now, of course in the game of basketball Which simon cynic has said is a a finite game and i'm a big fan of simon's work is a finite game We have unanimously around the globe Agreed that the team with the most points on the scoreboard when the final buzzer goes off is the winner Life relationships business. It's a little more esoteric. It's not as clear How you might define winning in business might be slightly different than maybe one of your friends or colleagues But that doesn't matter You just have to get crystal clear on what winning looks like to you and then you need to figure out What are the measurable building blocks the bricks if you will that will allow me to reach that goal And then once you have that north star take your eyes off of it and just focus on the bricks think think about a gps Which most people Need to navigate the world these days. I don't know how I survived without one beforehand But you need to know two things you need to know where you are in the moment Not where you were five minutes ago five days ago or five weeks ago You need to know where you are right now and you need to have an end address Where am I going those the only two points you need and then once you have those two points You don't need to worry about either one of them What you need to do now is pay attention to the directions and listen to every turn that you're supposed to make And of course the beauty with this analogy is if you're like me and kind of directionally dysfunctional You're probably going to take a wrong turn and then what happens it reroutes It just reroutes. So the the gps doesn't get angry at you. It doesn't call you an idiot It just simply reroutes and it puts you back on that course And that's ultimately what all of us should be trying to do is pursue our north star By focusing on the steps and directions it takes to get there and when you misstep or you make a wrong turn Don't get upset over it. Just move to the next play and take the next direction to reroute It's really really good. And I think oftentimes people feel lost And that's why this clarity of what success looks like to you or the blueprint that you want is really so important The other thing that happens is people get tired I think it's the second chapter of the book you talk about stress management. You talk about energy management as well And that's a big thing in our culture today I think people are tired I don't think they manage their energy very well and I watch this even a basketball analogy I watch certain teams that you know, I think well, they're tired And I watch friends of mine in business and life. They just seem tired to me So what is energy management? And what are some of your keys for it? Well, we need to make sure we're protecting both time and energy and and as we know I know you've said this on many previous shows, you know, obviously time is our most precious resource Because that is finite whenever that's done. That's done. We don't have any more of it Energy is something though that we can actually replenish and a lot of that has to do with with our routines and our self care Are we making the time to fill our own buckets? Mentally physically emotionally and spiritually so that we can keep that that battery that internal battery of our lives Is close to 100 as possible You know, most people would freak out if they look down at their iPhone and saw their iPhone had three or four percent juice left in it They'd immediately start looking for a plug or a mophie or something But they allow themselves to go down to three or four percent And they don't seem to do anything about it And then you're just running on fumes and there's no way that you can be your best self or make a maximum Contribution to the things that are important to you if you're doing that So part of it comes down to our discernment of what are we going to invest our time and energy into? and and this goes back to Just two two simple words yes and no What are you saying yes to and what are you saying no to you know as a self-diagnosed people pleaser? This was one that was really challenging for me most of my life me too because I love saying yes It feels good to say yes I want to help as many people as I can but I've learned that when I say yes to one thing I am by default saying no to something else If I'm going to say yes to investing this hour with you that means this hour in time cannot be invested anywhere else Now this happens to be a wonderful investment of my time one I'm very happy to make so but we have to be very careful Of what we say yes and what we say no to so we have to have some discernment and for me I've learned to be able to say no respectfully With tact and to be polite If something is not a good fit and how do we know if it's a good fit Is it an alignment with the north star that you're pursuing? If you're asking me to do something that is taking me away from that north star Then it's most likely not the wisest investment of my time or energy And I'll politely decline if what you're asking me to do is an alignment Then it's probably a great investment of my my time and energy So being able to step back and use our core values and use that north star To design our lives and design our schedules and design what we're going to say yes to Is incredibly helpful. We can't we can't rely on feelings and emotions If you're just saying yes and no to things based on your mood or how you're feeling There's no consistency in that. What a really good point because you know what I have a hard time saying no And oftentimes it is just based on my energy rather than out of my values Or is it does it fit into the vision of what I'm trying to create and what I'm trying to do And that stays I want to stay on that word vision. You know what surprises me is how little People talk about visualization and how much of it I do And how much of it happy and successful people both happy and successful people that I know spend in doing so And so you talk about it's not a lot, but you talk about in the book Visualization and I'm wondering any keys you would have for that and also the importance of it because I think most people don't realize you're visualizing all the time. Yeah, it's just what are you visualizing? Yeah, right and I think most people are visualizing their fears their worries their to-do list The stuff they've got to get the kids to soccer. I gotta go work out. I got whatever it might be But are you taking control of what you're visualizing in your life? Because I think ultimately our minds move towards what it's most familiar with Absolutely And so you talk about it in the book and I don't want to use my version of it But how do you feel about visualization and anything about it you want to share? One of the words that comes up in a lot of your shows and a lot of your work is intention So we have to make sure we're very intentional with what we're visualizing There were a few different research studies and I reference them in the book the one that I like the most Um from a visualization standpoint was they took three different groups And they were going to have them shoot free throws and these weren't professional players by any means These were just regular weekend warriors and then the three groups the first group They got tested on the first day and then they practiced for 21 consecutive days And then they took the retest 21 days later Second group took the test on the first day did not touch a basketball But only visualized making free throws for the next 21 days and then took the retest and then the third group Tested on the first day didn't practice and didn't visualize and then retested on the 21st day I think most people would realize the group that didn't practice or visualize. There was there was no improvement In fact, they had a slight decline in their ability But the part that blew my mind was the group that visualized was only a couple of percentage points less than the group that actually practice So so by actually sitting with your eyes closed and visualizing making free throws It's almost as good as as being able to practice and that that blows my mind now I think we can also agree that the best thing to do is to do both is to get in repetition You know Purposeful repetition as well as visualized. I visualize before every single speaking engagement every engagement I do I always arrive the day before and I request to see the room The day before I'm going to speak I want to get a feel for what it's going to look like I visualize before I came in here with you today I watched several of your other guests on youtube who were in this studio I knew what this room looked like before I set foot in here Which gave me a certain level of comfort that I wasn't going to walk into anything that I hadn't hadn't prepared myself for And one of my favorite quotes that I learned from a mentor of mine is make preparation your separation and that I want to be as prepared as possible for everything that I do and that will also lower stress Yeah, ben newham was telling me this sabon quote where he says, you know Most teams practice until they get it right and he says here at alabama. We practice until we can't get it wrong Yes, and it's just a different standard of preparation and i'm the same way by the way I try to do all of those things and I'll give you an interesting on a visualization I'll just share with you it'll take me a minute for the audience, but I got hurt my sophomore year of college And I couldn't play and we had a team psychologist at the time He ended up being killed and I use a lot of his work to this day was in a car accident I use a lot of his work and I get a lot of credit for because he was so cutting edge even back in those days And he said ed here's what we're going to do and I hit 215 my freshman year terrible year That's terrible And then I sat out because I was hurt the next year I hit almost 380 And I wasn't any better of a hitter what happened was he taught me to visualize and we'd sit behind the batting cage Where the other guys were popping some up grounding into double plays missing a few He said ed you're gonna hit a line drive up the middle thousands of times and he made me Focus on my visualization so he goes ed all right visualize you hitting the line drive I go I got it and he'd go okay really do you and he would make me hyper visualize he'd say ed Where's the camera? I go what do you mean he goes well? How are you seeing it from what angle is the camera in the center field like on tv over the pitchers head Shooting in or is it from the batter's box your view out and I go I don't know and he goes well Then you kind of should know yeah, and I go okay, uh, actually turns out the camera's on me I'm looking out at the pitcher. He goes great not everybody has it that way He goes can you see the release point? Can you see the stitches on the ball? Can you see the rotating and it got to the point where he go? What is it and I say it's a curveball he goes How do you know I could see the dot on the stitches right and then I could see I got to the point where he'd make me work I could see then the stitches coming in I could see the ball hit the bat and the stitches re-rotating backwards the other way right back over the guy's left shoulder I just got to share this with you So I come back I'm a 215 hitter the first day in BP First pitch though to me is up and away and I swat at it hit a line drive up the middle Next ball down in a way line drive up the middle and I think it was 28 straight hits My teammates are like what's going on with my let line drive up the middle every single time Then I popped one up and I hit like 16 more up the middle I had not swung a bat in six months but the upside to that was I didn't have any negative Experiences from actually swinging the bat and the subconscious mind really doesn't know The difference between what's real and what's imagined I share this because your work is So good bro and the people that are listening to this if you would start to visualize And then get better at it refine it see it more clearly Can you slow it down can you speed it up can you add color can you add sound And the more you get good at visualizing you're going to change your damn life the better You get at this so I just wanted to add second it and add to it that I have a real life experience And to this day things like getting to the studio and visualizing it I do that crazy Stuff too because it's not crazy all right chapter five never heard it said this way Using stress so usually people are taught avoid stress minimize stress and you have Strategies for that in the book as well but sometimes you're almost like hey dance With it use this stress what does that mean that goes back to something we said earlier It's kind of the difference between viewing something that's making you nervous versus viewing something that gets you really really excited I mean I've I said to you before Off hair I'm a huge fan of your work you've had a massive impact on my life I could have been nervous coming in here and to meet you for the first time and sit but Instead I was excited for this opportunity like and those they can have very similar Feelings they can have you can have the butterflies in your stomach You know and I don't remember who said that originally but if you ever feel butterflies In your stomach just get them all lined up in the same direction so that they can work They can work for you but we do we need we need to have some stress in our life If the stress is overwhelming then you'll be completely debilitated if I was completely Overwhelmed with stress right now this wouldn't be much of an interview However if there was zero stress I'd probably be bored and there wouldn't be much of an Interview so we want just enough to keep us sharp it's very similar to fear You know fear in and of itself keeps us safe we want to have some fear if not We just walk in the middle of traffic or we just juggle knives or do something foolish But if we have too much fear then we become paralyzed and we can't actually do anything So yeah these things help they help keep us sharp So we want to have a little bit be on a little bit of edge for the things that Mean the most to us these are my favorite conversations just so you know they're about Performance they're about winning You're right down my alley and and I have to tell you I want everybody go get Sustain your game and the reason I want that is it's real stuff. It's true I practice it and I learned things in the book that I didn't practice And I don't play basketball and the book's not a basketball book the book is a life book The book is a happiness book. It's a blueprint for success book And then you know then there's this thing called change so everyone's listening Something you've said already or I've said has applied to someone at some point so far That's why this is a great interview and it's being shared everywhere right now Then there's people like yeah, but I gotta I gotta get some change like I need change And and I relate to that there's been times in my life where I'm like I need some change In fact, there's even things right now in my life. I'm like this element I need to get to it and I need to change it and you have in the book three steps to changing And they're basic. I'll read them to you and then I want you to elaborate on them Please okay awareness understanding And reconditioning What does all that mean? We're never going to improve something we're unaware of and we're never going to improve something We're oblivious to so the first step is having an awareness and acknowledgement that something Actually needs to change that whatever I'm doing I need to make a change to you know If you keep doing what you've been doing you will keep getting what you've been getting If you don't like what you've been getting you need to change what you've been doing I mean that's as as simple as it gets, you know another one of my favorite quotes Arguably my favorite is if nothing changes Nothing changes So we have to lean into change and there's two types of change. There's change that's imposed on us Perfect example would be a two-year global pandemic, right? But then there's change that's initiated and that's what we're talking about here We need to be the ones to drive that change. So first is awareness. What do I need to change? Second is I need to have an understanding of what's at risk if I don't make this change Leverage getting leverage absolutely and I need to have an understanding So what what am I risking by not changing this behavior? If I continue to do this for the rest of my life, what's at risk? And many times the answer to that is happiness fulfillment Maxing out your potential all those types of things and then lastly We just need to be able to recondition the behavior or the process the system that will allow that to happen So we don't want to just go in and start swinging in the dark We want to actually map out an actual plan of how we can make make change What's reconditioning mean though? So you back up the plan is reconditioning this some form of reinforcement when you do it correctly Or how do you condition something in yourself? So let's just use a relationship for example You say your relationship is getting a little bit stale with your significant other And you take a look at well here's the things I've been doing which has led to a stale relationship So I've conditioned myself to these being my default habits, you know, whatever they may be I don't look at my significant other when she's talking to me. I'm staring at my phone I used to leave her little notes around the house, but I no longer do that Like I fall into these these lesser habits and that's what's producing a stale relationship If I want to have a better relationship, then I need to recondition my habits I need to go back to doing the things that I know I need to do to get to that and and I also have a three-step formula For how someone can do that Absolutely, and I got to continue to make the disclaimer that this is incredibly basic But none of the stuff you and I have been talking about is easy Not not a single thing we've said is easy to actually do if it was easy People wouldn't even need to listen to this because they're already doing it. Yeah So we know through our own experiences. These things are hard The first thing you need to do is you need to have razor sharp focus and isolate it down to one behavior That you want to focus on changing One of the problems many people make is they try to change a bunch of things at once And as human beings we're wired to have singular type focus I don't know if you're familiar with john berardi. He started precision nutrition really smart guy in the fitness world And he did an expansive research study Similar to the one with free throws, but he found that when folks isolated their focus into one behavior to change They actually successfully changed that behavior 85 of the time The moment they split it and tried to change two behaviors at the same time success rate went down to 40 And if they tried to chase three behaviors at the same time it went down to about four or five percent So I know that a lot of people that listen to your show are high achievers. They're driven. They're Ambition absolutely and i'm saying it's in your best interest to just focus on one thing that you're going to change Then the next step is make a commitment to yourself to do that for 66 straight days Now I know the research is all over the place on how long it takes to form a habit You know, it could be anywhere from 21 days to nine months But I like 66 days because one it's easy to remember two it's enough of a stretch But it's also doable it's a hair over two months But make a commitment to doing that for 66 straight days And then the third is you want to keep the spotlight of accountability on yourself And you do that by recruiting people that care about you and ask them to hold you accountable So let's put this into a practical uh scenario You've got someone listening right now that wants to get into a little bit better physical health They haven't been working out very much Instead of changing everything instead of upending their diet buying a peloton bike Signing up for a yoga membership, you know, just pick one thing and let's say they say I'm going to go for a walk for 30 minutes every morning That's it. I'm not changing anything else in my life. I'm going to walk for 30 minutes I'm going to then commit to doing that for 66 straight days. I'm old school I like to print out paper calendars and take a red sharpie and every day you go for that walk I want you to put a big red x and I want you to go until you got 66 x's in a row And if you miss a day because you're human move to the next play just start that streak again the next day And then I want you to reach out to three or four people that you know Love you and care about you and want to see you happy and successful and you tell them I'm going to go for a walk every day for 30 minutes and I'm asking you Ed I want you to check in with me I want you to send me a text every day at lunch and ask if I went for a walk Ask me what I'm listening to or ask me what route I took But I want you to hold me accountable and if three or four people do that You know what one of the emotions that that really hurts most of us is feeling like we disappoint someone that that we care about And if you can do those things you pick one thing you do it for 66 days and you get people holding you accountable I'm not a gambler Ed, but I'll put my money I'll put all my chips on the middle of the table saying you will improve that habit And then the beautiful thing is at the end of 66 days Then you just stack another habit on top of that. You do the next one Yeah, and then you say okay if we're sticking with this theme now for the next 66 days I'm gonna reduce sugar or I'm gonna reduce, you know sweets or soda whatever it may be So you don't stop doing the first one. So now for the next 66 days You keep walking for 30 minutes and you're gonna eliminate say junk food and then 66 days later You add something else. So by the end of the calendar year You've changed four or five things in your life. You'll be a completely different person at the end of that year And the only difference is instead of deciding to do all five of those things on january 1st You're gonna pick them off one at a time and then they're going to stick Yeah, because you've you've increased your execution rate from 80% to down to less than 4% especially if you're doing five You know, I'm watching you I watch people very closely in every aspect of my life But it also happens certainly when I interview them because it's just you and I in the room And I said this earlier you own your content. It's reflexive There's not even hesitation when I ask you a question you own this you live this stuff And I like authentic people Thank you I like people who live the things that they teach because I can feel a different energy from them when they teach it I can feel how important this stuff is to you. I can feel the validity of what you're talking about And if you're listening to this everybody Listen to it a couple times share it. You got a young athlete. You got a young person in your life You got an old person in your life who wants to create change You yourself want to create a changer, you know start to believe more have processes that work This is the show today. This is the one share it with people So I get two last things I want to ask you about actually can we do three? I want to try to squeeze three This is your world, baby. Whatever you want. Well, I I just it's so good I actually don't want it to end so I'm going to exceed the time I told you that we want to do because I I love our conversation What is different about a Steph Curry or a Kevin Durant or a Kobe Bryant compared to an average NBA player and the main reason I ask you this is They're all skilled Almost everybody there's a freak athletically right and and I know To me when I asked those three people Steph Curry is the greatest shooter in the history of basketball It's not even disputable anymore And as a skill set between his ball handling and his shooting ability that is I've just never seen in my life before So he is extraordinary in the history of the game Kevin Durant to me is probably the greatest offensive force that I've ever seen in the game. Luca looks pretty good You know Jordan both. I mean, that's tough But I mean Kevin Durant from an offensive perspective is certainly one of the three or four greatest offensive players that I've ever seen in my life Okay, and then I look at Kobe and there's all these discussions of the goat of all time And I my goat is Michael Jordan and then people will throw LeBron in there and other people But for me having watched basketball and not being an expert like you the second best player I've ever watched play basketball and everyone's going to get mad at me isn't will isn't cream isn't magic isn't LeBron It's actually Kobe Bryant for me That's just my personal opinion and I'm a Celtics fan So I never wanted to root for Kobe Bryant right but like for me I just he's the closest thing to MJ that I've ever seen in my life And in some ways is more impressive in certain ways for me. What is different with that? One millionth of a one percentile compared to really good people in anything. Do you think what's the separator? I'll give you an example with KD and I'll give you an example with curry KD does a masterful job of blending humility with confidence You won't find a more confident offensive player. Why is he confident? He's earned the right to be arguably the best score in the game because of the time He's put in during the unseen hours. However, he blends that with humility Which means he is open to feedback and he's open to coaching He doesn't think that he's reached the ceiling of what he's capable of So if you have something a coach or someone our trainer has something that can actually make him better He is all ears. He is open to that. So he's a killer from a confident standpoint He believes he's going to score. He believes he's the best player on the court But he never lets that override his humility. He stays open to coaching and open to feedback Which is why every step along the way he continues to get better So blending confidence with humility is one my favorite people have that nuance by the way Absolutely, absolutely and and curry Curry does not let what happened previously affect what happens presently I say this in the book and I find this both comical but but an powerful powerful lesson If I had a quarter right now and I flipped it in seven times in a row. It was heads What's the percentage chance? It'll be heads on the eighth Flip it should be 50 percent. Of course it is. Yeah, but most people don't think that most people think Oh, it's got to be a higher percentage to be tails because he just did it. No the quarter has no idea The quarter doesn't know what the first seven flips were every time you flip a coin. It is 50 50 Why do I say that because it it happens very rarely because he is the greatest shooter of all time But stephen curry Statistically you can look it up has missed the first seven shots. He's taken in a game What makes him stephen curry is he shoots the eighth shot with the confidence as if he had made the previous seven I love he does not let the previous seven misses. He doesn't bring that baggage with him And and affect the current shot and that is what a life lesson and that is so hard to do though I mean, you know, it's easy for you and I to sit here and talk about It is hard because the tendency is to flash back and go. Oh my gosh. I've missed seven in a row What happens if I miss this? What are people going to think about me? Am I going to let my team down? He wipes all of that clear every single shot is its own shot You know, and it's it's the difference with when you take a player like kobe I would say this all the time to young players. I'd work with you know mediocre players They go to the gym to take 500 shots a day Okay Good players go to the gym to make 500 shots a day. There's a difference, you know, we don't we don't need more shot Takers we need shot makers great players elite players like stephen curry. They go into the gym to make one shot 500 separate times and that that nuance difference. This is not verbal semantics. There is a difference between that Steph's not in the gym thinking oh, man, I still got 400, you know 19 shots left to shoot No, all I care about in the world is this one shot right now perfect footwork perfect form And then he moves to the next shot and then that's the only one that matters and that's that's again These are lessons that all of us can apply to what we do. What about kobe? What separated him preparation preparation I think I mean Words like relentless words like obsessed I mean he he made no bones about the fact that he wanted to be considered the greatest player to ever play the game And and some people are wired that way. I mean, I'll be the first to tell you. I'm not wired that way I'm not concerned with being the best I'm concerned with being my best and if I'm my best Just let the chips fall where they may that's that part of self-awareness though And maybe that's why I hold him in higher regard than the LeBron who's clearly incredible or cream or will maybe just because I just There's something noble about the just relentless pursuit of The greatness that he had in the work ethic. This has been an outstanding Alan outstanding equally for me One of my favorite baseball players is a red sox fan is wade boggs Oh, yeah And so wade was was famous for a lot of things which is a great hitter But one of the things he's famous for is dude ate chicken before every single game He sure did he had this routine that he did before every single game But in you mention him under the category of the role of belief And in my life, I really believe that belief drives almost everything in my book I talk about the chapter in my book called the matrix which is belief with that which you believe most strongly the world reveals to you You'll begin to see things and hear things that always existed But will confirm the beliefs that you have and so what is the role of belief in being a peak or elite performer It's irrelevant whether or not chicken is the best thing to eat before you play baseball He believed that it was and he believed that it contributed to his ability to hit the baseball So that's all that matters. That's how powerful belief is I mean we you could probably interview 10 nutritionists And they would all say that fried chicken is not the best thing to eat before athletic performance But it doesn't matter because he believed that it was and he also understood the power of consistency The power of routine power of structure, you know and same thing I mean if if LeBron was going to have a game tonight Three hours before tip-off he would not be walking around the streets of la wondering what he was going to eat This is all premeditated. These are things that they've these peak performers have honed through trial and error and have figured out When I eat this at this time, I perform at my best and you know and that routine will change over time I promise you LeBron's pregame routine now is not the same. It was when he was a rookie with the Cleveland Cavaliers It's matured. It's evolved. It's grown and all of us need to have routines I have a pre speaking routine that I follow relentlessly It's slightly different whether I'm giving an 8 a.m. Keynote or an 8 p.m. Keynote But I have structure and routine and that gives me comfort and then that allows me to go out And perform my best Yeah, I think a lot of people don't realize that many people drive their confidence from their routine It creates a sense of comfort and certainty and having a routine that's familiar to you And great people are typically creatures of habit those habits may evolve and change as you've said But they find their strength and confidence in the habitual nature of the routines They have setting them up for performance today was incredible. Thank you and speaking of routines. We'll do this routinely I'm gonna have you back on the show. I want everybody to go get sustain your game I want them to be able to follow you Alan. Where should they follow you? You can follow me at alanstein jr on instagram or any of the major social platforms You're incredible. This was a tremendous conversation was great for me fires me up I'm a little bit like wound up right now like I want to go. I wish I could shoot hoops, you know I was a heck of a I had I want a lot of dunk contests and I'll share that with you another time. I'm kidding I just had such a great time today makes me want to be a better everything So thank you everyone. Uh follow Alan go get sustain your game Go buy the power of one more my great book and share this episode today We are the fastest growing show on the planet Because you guys Are so good to me and to one another by sharing this show and good to the people you care about Because you share the show with them on a regular basis. Can I leave one of my other favorite quotes? A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle So if you like this episode and you love ed show as much as I do share it with somebody else It doesn't take anything away from you. All you're doing is lighting other people's candles Which is what we should all be in the business of doing so thank you ed. This was amazing