 Hello everyone, welcome again to another NARC Survivor Live video, today I just came out here for a walk along this dam, I woke up at 5.30am, jumped in the car and drove a few hours to get here, just been traveling a lot all around the country exploring, been in the jungle for the last three days, seen some cool temples but yes in this one we are going to be talking about when the narcissist realises they lost something real because I've seen that this is something that a lot of people talk about here on YouTube and it's actually something that I do not agree with, no I don't agree with that at all but what I do agree with is the fact that narcissists lack self-awareness, they can't even see or recognise themselves and if one doesn't know themselves how could they possibly know another person which means that no they will never recognise that they lost something real, no they're never going to recognise that, they're never going to see that even though you may want them to see it because you are the type of person who puts your best foot forward, you wear your hearts on your sleeve for the world to see and you want people to know that you are real, you want them to know that you're about something for real, you're really down for it, you're along for the ride but they can't see it, they can't see that you are really about that lifestyle, they couldn't see that at all but what they could see is that it's every man for himself, it's a dog eat dog world and you've got to get people before they get you but you can't be vulnerable, you must protect yourself at all costs and at all times you can never expose yourself because of course if they did that that would put them in a lot of trouble because they've got a lot of skeletons in the closet, there's a lot of things about them that you don't know, you may think that you know everything but that is just the tip of the iceberg, there's a lot more to them, a lot of things that they've done that you may not even be aware of and even the things that you are aware of of course they don't want that to be put out to the world, they don't want the world to know about that and a lot of times they won't even want you to know about that which is why when you do find it out they will get very angry, they will devalue you and they may even discard you and start a smear campaign against you and the reasons why they will do that is because not only do they fear rejection and abandonment but they also fear exposure for someone to recognize that you or I are real, this is what they would have to do, they would have to wear their heart on their sleeve and they would have to come out despite any fears that they may have of rejection and abandonment which are fears that are completely rational at times we all have that even I have those fears sometimes but yes they would have to come out despite those fears of rejection and abandonment and fears of exposure especially that especially their fear of being exposed and everything being revealed they would have to come out despite that and still be vulnerable with everything exposed everything that they've done for the world to see and especially for you to see if they did that not only would they then be real but they would also recognize the realness in you and that's really it that is the formula to become a genuine and authentic person and to be able to recognize the realness in someone else but unfortunately as we know narcissists are not real people and I've said this before I've actually already done a video on that as well the reality is that no narcissists are not real people and I'll tell you why because I know that can come across as quite a an insulting and degrading remark and I completely understand that but just think for a moment in your mind what makes a person human and of course it's our empathy our love and compassion for other people especially in certain situations or circumstances where they may have done something to us because that is the real test of character of whether or not you are real and that is a test that every narcissist will fail because they are not real people and they do lack empathy and compassion so what's going to happen is if you do one thing wrong or anything to show that you are real that you are human they won't be able to receive it and instead they will think that you're out to get them you're trying to hurt them you're trying to manipulate them and then what they're going to do is when they realize that is they're going to turn against you they're going to hold a lot of grudge grudges and resentment against you because the reality is that they are not real they lack the intrinsic human qualities that make us human so by default all they can do is manipulate and deceive you all they can do is lie and future fake and I know some of you you may have been waiting around for your entire life to see this character that they led you to believe that they were that they showed you in the beginning and sometimes they may bring that character back but that character is just a reflection of your virtues and ideals that's all that it is and once you go further into the relationship and they bring that character back it almost becomes like an insult like a condescending remark as though they think you're stupid because by that point even though they bring back the false character you start to realize that it isn't real you start to realize that it's just the reflection of your virtues and ideals and at the same time it's also a figment of your imagination because they can't produce anything real not without having that empathy the ability to share your feelings and understand your experience that is what makes a person real and without that they have no feelings even for themselves they can only feel negative emotions although it may appear at times as though they can be happy they actually can't they can only feed off your energy and that only lasts for a short period of time and that is why they need constant supply they have this addiction to people they always have to be around you or someone else they can never be alone they can never do things like what i'm doing right now walking out in nature alone and as you've probably seen yes i do spend most of my time alone and i enjoy it some of the best times i've had when i'm traveling is when i was alone those were some of the best experiences and of course that does not mean that i was lonely because unlike the narcissist i'm actually not a shell of a person i do have a core i have values and beliefs things that i believe in i have love and compassion to share with you and the world because i do recognize the realness in you yes i recognize that you do have that you do have empathy and that is how you found my content because you were clearly attached to this person you cared a lot about them and that is how you found my videos just on the way back to the car now now as you can see it is very hot out here and i need to get a new umbrella to shelter me from the sun it's very hot but yes unfortunately and i do hate to say this as well but the reality is that they will never be able to recognize that you are real they will never be able to see that and it won't even cross their minds it will never be a constant series of thoughts in their heads to where they're actually thinking or considering that you could be a real separate person that would actually be impossible because they can only ever see you as an extension of them which means that whatever they feel they're going to try and get you to feel the same way whatever they believe they're going to try to get you to believe that so you will only ever be an extension and they will reflect things back to you and you may at times unknowingly reflect things back to them but believe it or not none of this is actually grounded in reality which is why if you could record on video on microphone your interactions with the narcissist and you seem like you're so caught up in something as though as though something is on your mind something is bothering you if you could record that and watch it back you would quickly realize that it actually has nothing to do with you you may believe that something is bothering you in an interaction with the narcissist in an argument and you may feel unworthy and deserving you may feel like you're not good enough but if you could record it and watch it back you would realize that those are actually not even your emotions those emotions do not even belong to you it's just that the narcissist is a black hole they're empty shells of people and that is why they need to see you as an extension of them so that you can feel their emotions for them because they are detached from their own emotions they are shame-based people who are doing everything they can to avoid reflecting on their shame and because of that that's why they will never be real and they will never see you as a real person as well it's never going to happen no matter how much you may think that you love this person you miss them you wish that they would come back i can tell you that it is never going to be a reality because for them to do that they would have to develop self-awareness which if they could do that then they would never have been a narcissist anyway and not only that but they would have to reflect on their shame and they would have to realize that they are at fault and of course as we know they are never going to do that all they're going to do is try to stay attached to you although they never fully attach it's kind of like a half attachment and it also prevents them from being able to detach but they have to see you as this extension of them in the beginning you're this extension of everything that they wish they were and then they started to devalue you and you become you become an extension of everything they can't stand about themselves and that is what they dump on to you you become that emotional trashcan you become like a human toilet where they just dump all their waste onto you they disown parts of themselves that they don't like and assign them to you and in the process of doing that yes they are losing more and more of their undeveloped self and they become more and more dark more and more psychopathic because they're constantly discarding parts of themselves onto people that they see as an extension of them instead of owning those parts and saying okay yes I can see we have a problem here I can see that something is wrong what I'm doing is not right now let me change it let me be better I can tell you that no narcissist is ever going to think like that they're never going to see it as though they have a problem they are never going to reflect and think like that but what they are going to do is bury it deep inside them and if it ever comes out if they ever get triggered they will just dump it onto you and expect you to deal with it they're never going to own these parts of themselves they're never going to do that and people may wonder what is the narcissist's true self what is actually real about them and the thing is the longer that they've been on the surf and the more that they've been surrounded by flying monkeys and enablers the more likely it is that there is actually no self at all and that's why it's like a black hole where no matter what you do no matter how much you try to make them happy it's never good enough they're never satisfied and that should tell you that you are dealing with someone who is a black hole an emotional void someone who will never be happy with you or anyone else they will never get to experience that because they disowned these parts of themselves a long time ago in some cases their true self may be their undeveloped child self and it's kind of like two separate parts you've got the child and then the parent and the parent is meant to protect them the parent is the one who can come across as quite confrontational aggressive and intimidating and then the child is when you reflect something back to them and then they feel they know something is wrong and then they play the victim as a coping and defense mechanism but even these things they're all really just like fabrications they're just things that they have invented in their minds it's not something that's grounded in reality and of course that is the reason why whenever you're around them you feel like you're detaching from yourself as well and as though you're detaching from reality you feel like you can't be yourself around them and the reason why you feel like that is because guess what you can't you can't be yourself around a narcissist and i have done a video on that as well whenever you're around the narcissist you may feel like you're just running outside of your body you're trying to leave your own body behind and then you're just jumping into a character of whatever they whatever you think they want you to be based on what they've shown you in the past or based on what they've said is not good or not right about you because many of you are people pleases you're still just trying to please them and to make them happy thinking that's that's going to fix them but it's not it's just going to make things a lot worse because there is really nothing you can do to fix a narcissist that always going to be that way and there's really nothing you can do about that whenever you are around the narcissist you will never feel like you can be yourself and even when the narcissist is manipulating you they're manipulating your emotions they're love bombing you in those moments you may have felt very happy and excited but even then you weren't being your true self even though you may have thought that you were the reality is that it just triggers this childlike part of you because we all have this we all have this inner child inside of us and when they love bombing you and they're manipulating you you just revert to that child self because your body already knows your gut instinct is telling you even if you're not consciously thinking about it it's telling you that this person is not real or authentic so your brain just won't let you be yourself around them to protect yourself it won't allow you to be or do that you will experience fear and shame and you will run outside of your own body in order to protect yourself which is known as dissociation whenever you're around a narcissist all they can do is manipulate and deceive you and all you can do is dissociate you can only revert to the childlike self or even you may have this parental character yourself which is there to protect you but either way you just can't be yourself around them it's not even a possibility and i'm sure many of you have experienced this already where whenever you're around them you dissociate it's like you're running outside of your body you're not grounded in your own body and mind and it's like you can't even think for yourself as though they have a lot of influence over you they're able to control your thoughts actions and beliefs and that's all that they can really do and because of that because of this obsessive desire and need that they have to manipulate and deceive people because of that no they never recognize that you're real and they never get to experience that real connection where they're able to just let go and be vulnerable and expose everything that they are they will never be able to do that so yes that is the sad reality of it the narcissist will never recognize that you are real they will never see it that way they think everyone is fake everyone is out to get them and that's just the only way that they can see it it's not going to be any different than that and they are not real because as i said they lack that intrinsic quality of what makes a human being which is of course our empathy our ability to share another person's feelings and understand their experience narcissists can't do that they're unable to put themselves in another person's shoes so yes all they will do is manipulate and deceive you and at this point i don't really think they're looking for intimacy or real connection i think they gave up on that a long time ago they believe that love is a weakness love is for fools it's all just about manipulating another person to get whatever you can get and then just get out of there before it all falls on top of you like a house of cards at least that's how they see it they gave up on love a long time ago which is why they can't receive your love and they can't love you they can only give you the illusion the manipulation and deception and that is all you're ever going to get from them they're never going to realize that you are a real person they're only going to see all of these things wrong with you which they have to because that protects and sustains the false narrative which protects and sustains their false character and that's all they really care about that's all they're really concerned with is this image that they present to the world and this image is just designed to it's designed to get you to feel because your feelings lead to beliefs about them and your beliefs are very powerful they have the power to validate their illusion and then they get to live in this delusion as though they're happy and things are going well for them and that's all that it is it's just an a delusion that's powered by your feelings and beliefs that's why whenever you're around them it's all about making you feel happy and delated or making you angry or upset it's never just sitting down and having a normal logical conversation no they can't do that that's something they cannot do because there's no supply in that the supply comes from getting you excited about something or just bringing you down that's the only way that they can get supplying from getting you to feel getting you to believe something but that always comes from emotions it's never based on any logic or reasoning so yes of course it is very sad it's unfortunate but if you're dealing with a real narcissist someone who has high narcissistic traits or mpd we even one of the other class to be disorders these types of people they're never going to see that you are real their fake life depends on them not seeing you as being real and yes they will live this lie they will live this delusion for the rest of their lives and that is never going to go away which as i said yes it is very sad i wish there was an alternative i wish there was a way to give these people the realness and the love that they need but unfortunately this is just a reality of it and it's not just a reality of narcissists it's just a reality of the world today people can't just sit down and be real and authentic they just can't do it if they think of something real and their mind something real is probably having a cool car or just being whatever you see on tv whatever you see in these music videos these days and their minds that's their idea of being real but nothing about that is authentic it's just brainwashing but this is just how it is these days the reality is that very few people in the world actually are real very few people in this world can consistently show empathy i don't know i didn't even have to say that myself i mean we've got 104 live viewers right now i'm sure you've all experienced this on many occasions wherever you are in the world you already know that yes it's extremely rare when you get to experience that's when maybe someone holds the door open for you or they help you to cross the road they just give a kind gesture just like the goodness of their heart as you can see that they're actually not even expecting anything in return at all just doing it for you to make you happy it's very rare it's very rare that you will get to experience something like that in today's world people will always have this hidden agenda where they're plotting they're thinking ahead they're thinking of what they're going to do to you and that's just how it is you just when you're around them you have to revert to this childlike character in order to please them you can't be yourself around them and they can't be themselves around you and when you really know and realize that you'll feel no pain or resentment and let them go it won't even bother you because you'll realize that yes they're just a shell of a person there's no identity there there's nothing for you to attach or hold on to and when you fully heal you will realize that you will recognize it but if you did not attach to them properly after you've healed then that just shows there was nothing for you to attach to which means that you will be able to easily detach from them because you recognize that yes they are fake and yes of course that is why certain content certain videos on youtube or other social media are so popular because we manage to gather like-minded people who actually do have empathy and compassion for other people and they are attached to people so yes this content does manage to generate real people which is why of course it's very important to guide all of us in the right direction away from any form of manipulation or deception as I've always said I do not advise anyone to engage in that because by doing that yes you will be abandoning and disowning certain parts of yourself and just becoming a shell of a person yourself which of course is not what I want to happen to you I want you to go on and continue desire love and connection with other people and by doing that yes you will become the best version of yourself and you will motivate and inspire other people other people to become the same which of course is what I want from you but yes we have 97 live viewers right now please give this video a thumbs up down below it will help to support our youtube community and it will get this message out there which of course I hope that it is what we all want and as for the narcissist no they can't do any of that and they are never going to do any of that so that's really it to summarize the video they're not going to recognize that you are real you will never be able to be yourself around them and you will never see any real side of them because despite what they may have led you to believe the reality is there isn't one so yeah that's it let me know your thoughts down in the comment section below share the video and subscribe so that you will then receive the notifications for my future videos and especially when I go live on youtube and if you'd like to book a one-on-one coaching session with me you can do that on my website it is knocksurvivor.co.uk and also check out my instagram as well I've got new pictures and videos of my travels on there every day it is knocksurvivor youtube on instagram other than that that's all I've got to say for this video I just like to thank you all for joining me and as always I will talk to you in another video very