 I actually find that quite homophobic, Matt, and I'm not, don't speak like that anymore during, please. I just dropped the topic. I don't want to talk about it anymore. Welcome to episode number 12, 13, episode number 13 today of the Muddy and Michael Fully Actual podcast. We're at home and we're doing a podcast today. We've got all of the usual suspects. We've got Matt's Tinder adventures. We've got, we don't have a guess. We have a Matt vs Michael. We've got a German vs gibberish. We've got a P.I. box where we have a huge, large amount of pubicare that's been sent that we're going to put in our P.U. box and glue to Matt's head at the end of the season. We've got prank call. There's all sorts of shit coming your way. So sit tight and grab yourself a big, thick milkshake and have a sip. Just like a milkshake, only crunchy. The girls hit the boys in the backs. It was Michael's birthday yesterday. And man, we went out right on Saturday. We went out to dinner, had a few drinks. I hadn't had a drink for 104 days and then had some drinks on Saturday. How was it? You think that my tolerance would be way lower? Yeah. You said that to me on the night. You said, I've had like 40 standard drinks and I didn't feel nothing. It's like your body just, once your tolerance is that high, it'll never go back to normal. Oh man. Sucked. Did you? How much money did you lose? I lost $200 at the casino. I think I was down 200. Then Amber made it back up. Amber is 300. What? The successful gambler. Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah. We had a fun little night. We went to dinner and then we went and had a little dance and a sing at the little bar. And then off we went to the casino. Didn't we boys? And we really let the dogs out there. Yeah. We enjoyed ourselves quite a lot, didn't we? And we were with the girls. Everyone had their partner there except for Matt. And there was like five couples and Matt. And we all had a great time with our partners dancing and being with our loved ones. Shut up. How was, did you talk to any men? I mean women? No, I had this lady who looked very lovely. Did you finger it? And no, she came and she came in my vicinity and you guys need to control yourself. You and your partners control yourselves. Did you get fingered? Can I please speak? I don't know. I'm getting confused. Yeah. And they just thought the first thing that showed any sign or any spark of an interest, you're like Matt single, Matt single, Matt brown, single, single brown, single brown. And our man control, it was like a 50-year-old mother who was just having a fun dance and she was just trying to dance with everyone. She was married. Blonde. Blonde. And her husband was standing there like on the other side of us watching and you're like, Matt wants to fuck you. And as you said that, she's like, I'm married. Matt, that's not a very nice example there. Who cares if you're married? No, no. That's not the point. The point was that you guys need to control yourselves. I don't want... Listen, listen, Matt. This is what we need to control. That's bug. That's bug. But anyway, pretty fucking... And now, so 104 days off, Sunday was rough. Yeah, how did you feel in the morning after you did it? Mostly like just a little bit of a headache, but just super irritable, slept into like 9.30, 10. I've been getting up at like six usually now that I've stopped drinking. And then even today, just no motivation, just fucking blood pressure's back up, I've noticed. One fucking sesh on it. And now I'm terrified for the weekend because this weekend is my box, which is two days in a row where we're going to get fucking... Well, we don't have to on the first day. We can literally just do weed or we don't even... We can just go for a bush walk and then we can skip nightclubs and just go for a night bush walk. Yeah, but we're going out the first night. Yeah, I forgot about that. Son of a man, we could skip that and go for a night bush walk. How about we just do coke, but instead of coke, we do ketamine. No, no, we do creatine. I don't know what will do most damage. I just don't know what will make me, you know, but anyway, I'm sure it'll be all right, but it just goes to show the minute you fucking the effect alcohol and shit have on your body and mind is mind blowing. It's mind blowing. I didn't have one alcoholic drink. Yeah, but you had Coca-Cola's. I had two. Why didn't you have one? I don't know. I went to get a beer at the restaurant and then... You drove. I did drive. There's no point in having a beer if you're driving. Why not? I thought you said there's always a point in having a beer. I don't know. Sorry about that. Yeah, I don't know. I just didn't... Yeah, I just didn't... That's why you didn't fuck that man. Woman, thing. I wouldn't have anyway. Yes, you would have. Yeah. She wasn't married. She just didn't... She wanted you to have a few beers. No, she's just seven days. How's Halson been? Have you been going to work like this? Much dressed as a pirate at the moment. Does that feel right? Would you get fired if you rocked up a work on Monday morning like that? I don't know. They're like... I don't think I'll get fired. I think they'll go, Matt, we have a business casual dress code. What would happen if you just sent the message to your boss saying, fingers? I would think she'd go, oh, was this meant for me? Oh, so... But so you're saying to me that you could go in one day of work dressed like that and you'd be fine. Yeah. Really? Yeah, what they would do, there's two things. They'd either go, Matt, tomorrow you need to come back in business casual or they'll turn around and go, Matt, you have to go home and change. Oh, man, I'd love to just have you... I've been tempted to wear the wig that's really tight fitting and looks like it actually is my hair kind of, but clearly fake. But own it. Just walk in and just... And everyone's like, Matt, you're wearing a real one. This is my hair. I just grew it out. Wow, that would be funny. That'd be special biscuits. Very, very good. Also, guys, no horoscope again this week. I know, I'm sorry. The weekend and just our busy lifestyles have led to me not having time to find one of Matt's horoscopes. But I promise next week they'll be back, okay? So next week, horoscope will be back. And I'll try and do them at least every two weeks. Okay? And we do have some Tinder adventures as well. But I didn't, again, they're not very long conversations today because on the weekend is when I usually do it, but I was out fucking... That's okay. I enjoy the short ones where there's no right back, but you just get to hear your opening message. Yeah. I enjoy some of this. Plus, a lot of them are good setups for next week for when they do end up replying. And they're all going nowhere anyway because you destroy them. Excuse me. Excuse me. The amount of numbers and stuff that have come through to you. What, three? You've had, what, a girl message you on Instagram or Facebook the other day? I had a girl message me on Facebook. Okay, so there's another one. I have not written back. So, you know, they're coming in thick and fast, but Brown shuffles them to the side unless they've got plastic tits and small fake hips. Oh, wow, that's cool how you did hips and tits. I don't know. We sort of discussed this briefly with you today, Brown, but this is 100% true. At the end of last week's podcast, I was driving home and as I pull up to the servo, I go into the service station and the girl that works at the servo, a very young, pretty girl, goes, oh, guess what? I matched with Matt Brown on Tinder. And I was like, oh, my God. And I was like, keep messaging him. And then that was that story. Wait, you actually went into the service station and met one of the matches. And the girl who worked there, I filled up my car and then, bang, she's there. Just so you know, I matched with Matt Brown on Tinder. I was like... I know the conversation Michael's talking about because she even says in the conversation, oh, you know, Marty and Michael, one of them comes into my servo all the time, literally, and I will be reading that conversation today. So that's exciting. What do you think? What servo is it, so I don't go in there? I'm not saying. What if I accidentally go in the servo? That work is on the way to your home. We should have not said to anything and then got him in the car and just been like, oh, we're going to fuel up here and then got him inside somehow. And then been like, oh, you guys have matched on Tinder. Everything I said was a lie. Shut up. I don't trust. Let's go fuel up the cars. No, no. Oh, I don't like that. Empty Matt, you got pranked. Pranked. Pranked. Pranked. I thought that was going to keep going. Big news. So I drove a green on a par four and had an eagle attempt in golf. Just missed it. Had a tap in birdie. Big news. Big news. I chipped and got it in. Brown did some good golfing. Holy fucking shit. I'm getting more and more. This is what happened to my golfing. Bad technique. Oh, I'll drink to that. And that was my golf. You can. Oh man, that hurt my wrist. Yeah. Thank you for holding it into positions. Anyway, after that discussion, let's move on to the people who pay us money for this. No one pays us money. What are you talking about, brother? Well, let me first tell you guys about athletic greens. Athletic greens has 75 vital nutrients and minerals that you don't get day to day in your daily life. You can easily get this daily in a powder form. You put the powder in your glass. You fill it with water and you fucking skull it. One a day and it's great for your health. We all take it and we all feel the benefits. We're seeing people who are buying and posting in our Facebook group and commenting on this on the podcast saying that it's great. Yeah, it's very nutritious. It tastes delicious and it's very nutritious. And it's good for when you're bender and shit and you're going through unhealthy periods because then you can get a bit of healthy slop into your shit while your fucking body's struggling to process the MD and meth coursing through your veins. Michael wants to ask if I might do a You Take It. Have you had any today? Yes, I have. I had two, so suck on that. I need to have two. It's also delicious. Yeah, it's also very nice. It's also okay. It's a monthly subscription you pay. It just rocks up at your front door. You get a free travel packet for use out code which is also athleticgreens.com slash fully actual free travel packing that's just a scoop in it. And then you fucking outsource your health. You're healthy with no work. All right, outsource it. Just get it done. You're not going to get all these vitamins and minerals in your fucking diet. It's also green, which is the color of weed and that's badass. And it comes in powder and everyone knows what powder is and how that comes in. Fuck, that's sick. That's a great point. Yeah, yeah, that's sick. All right. And of course, manscaped. I'd just like to direct your eyes, your attention to my legs. Just for a second. Just a little experiment just to show you guys something. So one of my legs, I've recently used their manscaped lawnmower to shave my legs. Took me what, two minutes? Two, three minutes to completely shave my leg, my left leg. And I'm not talking fucking, it's like smooth to touch like a wax, okay? You don't end up looking like a fucking baby. I've still got hairs. They're just trimmed and proper. Look at how disgusting my unshaved leg is compared to my shaved leg. The difference is fucking mind blowing. All right? I don't mind. Take a way and just leave that out there to see. I have fucking tiny, useless little shit legs, but they don't look too bad now that I've trimmed them a little bit. And guess what? All you fucking cunts are sitting around with a fucking a film of hair covering your entire body. Hiding it from the true potential underneath. You are looking disgusting. If I showed a woman, any woman, my right leg or my left leg which man would you prefer to suck off? I guarantee it. A Martin guarantee that they would want to suck off the cunt with the shaved leg cunt. That's a fucking fact! Also for women. It's also for women. So if you want... If you want to get sucked off by fucking strangers in the streets, they got ball wipes. You go to manscape.com Slash full of your actual 20. You get 20% off. You can get the ball wipes after you fucking shave all your hair off and really get them nice and polished and smooth and creamy. And the women will be gagging to have your nuts sitting in the back of their throat. Inhale and they stretch creamy smooth balls. And the ladies can use the ball wipes. You shove it up there and then it'll... Yeah, that and the vagina or vagina I like to say and then it's like it stings a bit. You get sucked off too! Or growled out. So manscape.com slash fully actual 20. 20% off. Just have a look. And of course our subscription website the University of Michael where we post weekly episodes. Our last episode last week was an hour long. What the fuck's with that? An hour? An hour long. The one out this weekend is called The Pistillery. So it's like a distillery but for piss and it's Matt's watched it. He's got a review on it at the end of this episode and yeah, it's fucking awesome. I must say it made me laugh out loud. It was it's like a Pistillery like we go it's a piss tasting. You know you do wine tasting it's piss tasting. Out now on the website 21 day free trial you can sign up and watch it for free. If you don't like the content if it does not make you laugh enough you can fucking get out of there cunt. You can leave free of charge as long as you leave before the 21 days. It's like $11, $12 AUD a month. And yeah this latest one if you like sketch comedy it's very sketchy. Not to mention that our new website is a bee's dick away from launching. So you know the website is very close. That's all I'm going to say. You'll know you'll hear about it when it's ready just keep an eye on our socials. Suck me off. Suck me off in a cab. Oh wow I'm down. Alright let's move right along. Let's move right along. And by the way the um hang on I just I need to Yeah okay That's a nice That's a woopsie douche. That's a little woopsie douche but That's a whoopsie doofie. That's what Mrs Brown said when that crawled out of her. That's what her whoopsies doofie. No, she didn't. What's her name? Cawkship? Cawkship Brown. Cawkship my father. What the fuck is that name? That's your calling your kid quiet. My grandmother came up with that name. Whoopsie doodle. Whoopsie do. Okay, good. Very good. All right. Let's move along, eh? All right. We're, um, as like last week, we got to see Germanachtieberisch. Germanachtieberisch. Germanachtieberisch. Segment back. And this is where I read a sentence and it's either complete gibberish or it actually means something in German. Whoever gets the most correct wins and the loser gets a wooden spoon stabbed through their mid-core section. You've been hit by a broken wooden spoon. Yeah, that's why I said stabbed now. It's broken on you. Smooth criminal. All right. Are you ready boys? Born German. The first German or gibberish second sentence is. Was that it? He's actually a German word. Huffle Braum kapiert. Huffle Braum kapiert. I'm going to say it's German. Fuck. Um, it's, it's not German. It is not German. I've won. I've taken the lead. 1-0. It's complete nonsense. You said Brown. Braum. Braum. Braum. Braum. Braum. The bullet writer works. The bullet writer works. I guess I have to go first. It is. It is German. Yeah, I agree. It is German. And what do you think it means? It means, um, can you pass me the drill? Because I've got some drilling to do later. Very close. Very close. Matt, what do you think? I lost my kneecaps on a rollercoaster. No one near it. It means my pen works. Well, drills and pens are the same thing in Germany. The bullet writer works. It means the pen works. The bullet writer works. Imagine hearing that. Like, you could get a picture of this. You're at school. You're a kid. And then the teacher goes, in some stupid fuck thing like that. And then you go, the bullet writer can port it. That's your reality. The bullet writer works. The bullet writer works. That is said in many schools in Germany. That is so far behind. It is like fucking learning difficulty level. Bullshit. Now you've heard my feelings. Okay. That does sound fucked, right, Brown? I'm not wrong. I think you've heard Marty's feelings. That is so... That is fucking... That's why... Look, does anyone watch German films? No. Yeah, it does boot. Because they're fucking just comedies. Oh, we should make a marker watch. Does boot. You've seen Does Boot? I don't think I've seen that. It's about a World War II summary. Anyway. Bought. You mean bought. You know that. Don't know shit like that. All right, next sentence. All right. You both heard my feelings now. Sorry. Is it still one nil to Michael? Yeah. Yeah. All right, next sentence. By fram best och lechchen. By fram best och lechchen. Who goes first now? You're winning. Yeah, whoever's a winning pig. Do it one more time. By fram best och lechchen. By farm. Yeah, yeah. That's German. I'm going to say it's not. I've got to take a risk. What do you think it means, Michael? Fuck. It's German. Pack your bags. We're getting out of here, Jude. You're wrong. It's not German. Fuck. It is one all with two sentences left. This is crazy. This is crazy. Picking up the phone was your first mistake. Ha ha. All right. Sentence number four. Plamade grütt auf Plästma. Plamade grütt auf Plästma. You go first on this one. Plamade grütt auf Plästma. It can't be German. It can't be German. Yeah, it can't be. It's fucking disgusting. Wait, it is. It's fucking German. They can't change your answer. Can I? Speak from the heart. It's German. And it stands for get back here. Get back here. It is. It's German. Not German. Fucking shit. Shit. It's not German. All right. Two one to Brown. Michael must win this. Picking up the brown was your first mistake. Ha ha. Shit. I can't believe it. Sputztreff Klamar Brocken. Sputztreff Klamar Brocken. Sputztreff Klamar Brocken. It's German. I have to say it's not because I don't think it is the look in his eyes. It's fucking German, isn't it? It's not German. To all sudden. To all. To all. How would we know? I'm going to say a German number and you guys take it in turns to guess it. And it's going to be a number between one and between between 40 and 50. Okay. Fuck you. The first one to guess it wins. All right. German number. So we guess for guess. Yeah. Guess for guess. Okay. And scissors paper rock. So he gets the guess first. Yes. Scissors paper rock. Shit. All right. We'll be guessing first. The number is Siebenborn Fertzisch. 48. No. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. It is 44. No. Incorrect. Spanish? Same thing. Siebenborn Fertzisch. 43. Wrong. That's the fish. It's 6. 46. You were wrong. 47. Yes. Fuck. Victory in Europe. Victory in Europe. I'm going to hit Michael. That's good. I'm still bruised from last week. Yeah, he is. He is too. Picking on the brown was your first mistake. It's punishment time. Fuck. No. Which cameras got this? Can't. Can't. No. Count to 7. That's stupid. Yeah, that's German now. Now we're speaking some German. Mark. Mark is a German name. We'll be right back after this. Wish there was more at the end. I'll go hurting, man. I continue. Yeah. Like a dog sort of sound like that injured. Okay. Next time. All right, everyone. It's time for Matt versus... Michael, did you rip another toe now for recently? It looks fresh fucked. No, that one's from Steve. Bottle of Cums. This is a segment where Michael and Matt go head to head for glory for the most sacred thing that we've ever had here. The beautiful bottle of Matt's mints sitting right here. The winner overall of this segment gets to keep that bottle of mints for their very own and do with whatever they want. Currently, Michael is destroying Matt. Fucking destroying fucking fucking him. He's getting him over and just fucking hard and fast. And that's good. He's head off and he's screaming in pain because he's getting torn to shreds by Michael's fuck cock. 9-3. Pardon? 9-3. Fuck. To Michael, but I have a very sneaky suspicion that Matt is going to dominate. I did see a whisper as I was outpissing then slash smoke and weed. Fuck yeah. A whisper? Yeah, between you two. I have a feeling that there is something getting set up against me. I swear on our friendship. What did you see? You came over and just stood close to me. Matt, we've been caught. See, this is how paranoid you are. I swore on our friendship that there's nothing going on. Well, look, I'll still win even if I had the disadvantage. I would never. Because I fight. I fight till the end. I don't even give up like you did last week. I would never ever. Gave up. I would never ever cheat against the rules. Yeah, I agree. And I would never ever try and bend the rules. I've been giving up a lot, Matt. Yeah, but bend the rules, please. All right. Here we go. You ready? Today's topic is who knows more about porn? Look at Matt. Big jerked off smile. He's already relaxed. No, I think you'll find Michael will be surprisingly good at this. How? Okay. So is it going to be like? Yeah. Let me let me explain. It's kind of like a bit of trivia. This will be hard because I reckon it will come out with things. It's just none of us will know. All right. So to begin with, you will be naming a porn star one at a time. And whoever, whoever names more is the winner. Look at Matt. I bet you've come in on this. Okay. James has come in. Oh man. All right. Matt, would you like to start? Because I'm certain that you've won this already. I'll start with one. I reckon he knows him, which is Riley Reed. Fuck. That's you. I was going to say, I was going to say Tara Reed. No, she's an actor. She's an American part. Man. Okay. I'm that's the only one I know. Go another one. Let him have that one to drag this out a little bit. Come on. Stormy Daniels. Riley Reed. Weed. Hmm. Which to select. Oh no. I just got. I have to give me a think. Oh, shut up Matt. Come on. Give me one of them. I don't even know if these are true. I'll have to Google after Google. Oh fuck. Let me think. Let me think. I might have just one. I must have brain dead. Wait, wait, wait. Is there a time limit to this? He didn't say there's a time limit. No. Yeah. But like, come on. Let's. A Bella danger. Is that real? James. A Bella danger. Bella danger. A Bella or Bella? A Bella danger. A Bella danger. What if it's wrong? What if it's Bella? What do you got? We got to see. I'm getting a, I'm getting a search warning. All right. Correct. All right. She's pretty hot. Janet Jameson. It's Janet Jameson. You got that wrong. Let's check it. I win. Michael said Janet. The real one is. One nil. One nil. All right. One nil. So. Fuck. So I lost that. No, it's, there's still more to this. Oh, there's a different question. Fuck. I lost that round. Fuck. Okay. It's one nil to Matt. I thought we were just naming porn stars. No, no, no, no, no, no. All right. Since Matt is leading, Michael now gets to try and answer this question first. What does BBC stand for in porn? Big black cock. Ding, ding, ding. No, you knew that two way. All right. One or Matt. Oh, hey, on what does he get a point? I don't even get to guess anything. Now you get to answer this next question. I get it wrong and then I answer it correctly. Matthew Brown. Explain the term free use in porn. Oh man. Free use. I know that. I know that. So you're fucked. Yeah. I don't know. Yes. I really don't know. What is it? Michael. I have no idea what that means. It means when, when the girl, when, haven't you seen that in the title? Free use. Yeah. I just went to porno beforehand and I've never said. Wait, wait. Can I, okay. I reckon it means. No, no, no. You've already, when the girl said to use, you can use it how you want. Exactly. Whenever you want. Oh, you fucking can't do that. You just said you don't know. Yeah. No. There's no points awarded to either of you for that. I've actually just taken a weird guess. God. What does it mean? It means like when the girl saying you can use me whenever you want. Oh, I've never heard of that. I had to watch a lot of porn for this. I did my research. I have no idea about that. All right. So we'll do a back and forth here. It's still one. No, this is the decider. Okay. You must name porn channels back and forth. All right. Matt, we'll start with you. Porn hub. UGIS. Sexpics.com. Chatterbait. That's not, that's, that'd be like a chat site would be porn. I'll let you have it. X. Hamster. Oh man. Can you check that James? Matt just making this shit out. X. Hamster. Look it up. Chatterbait is a fishing product. Michael's. What did you say? I said X. Hamster. X. Hamster. Like the letter X. Michael. Fuck. Let's take a stab. Like let's put some gross words together. They're usually pretty fucked. Red tube. Yep. There you go. U-Porn. Oh fuck. Come in my pie. He's just guessing. He doesn't know that. He just took a guess. That probably does, that probably does exist. Oh, it's not a website. Well done Matt. I feel like Matt had a fair few in the bank then. Oh, Matt gets a win. I don't know if that's a win. Like that makes me seem real fucked. Come on. You got to take you. Yeah, we all use our specialties. You know how I know that? Because when I was young, I used to save them all. I just have the whole bunch that I'd go the same ones over and over again. Well, the same videos. No, the same sites. Yeah. Man, fucking, that's a tough one. There you go, boys. Well done. Well, at least, look, 9-4 you're slowly catching. 9-4, yeah. That was a very heavily favoured brand. I'm still more than double your score, which is crazy. That is crazy, man. What's crazy is. Oh, go blanky. All right, guys. It's time for Matt's Tinder adventures. Push the button, Brown. Let's get this. Let's get this party started. Don't drag it out. All right. Oh, yeah. T-I-N-D-O. We have Matt's Tinder. Ha, ha, ha. Matthew Brown has lost control now. These women will lose their souls. Good part about this. And what is it, Marty? What do we do? This is a segment where Michael and I have taken over Matt's Tinder. We've created a Tinder profile that looks exactly like Matt. I speak to, I match with women, and I speak to them exactly how I think Matt would speak to them. And we try and forget girls. We talk to them and then send them to Matt if they're keen. That's the process. It's been working. Four or five or six girls have already headed towards Matt's way. Nothing's worked out yet. It's still early days. It's still early days. We're also getting friends for him that are men, too. No one is, no one's come my way. I've had one phone call and one message. No, you've had more messages. There's a servo girl now, dude. You've got the servo girl. She's to ignore them. I don't know anything about the servo girl. She's a pretty girl, man. You're going to love her. All right. Let's begin. There are a fair few, since on the weekend I was, you know, it was Michael's birthday and then I was recovering on Sunday. Weekend is usually my time to get through these Tinder convos, but I was an ebriated a little bit. So a lot of these are shorter conversations, but there will be something to look forward to for next week for their reply. So I asked some long ones and there are some from last week as well. All right. So Matt starts with this young lady. What's her name? Does it matter? Yeah. I just like to hear her name. Tinder's new terms and conditions. What did they say this morning? Yeah. We got warned that we cannot share conversations on social media. But it's like if we could be making these conversations up. So how about fuck off Tinder? We won't say their name. Wait, wait. We got a warning through Tinder. No, they just emailed saying they've updated their terms and conditions and they're like, oh, we know that sometimes the conversations are great for social media content, but they're private, blah, blah, blah. What are the odds of that being happening while we're doing this? So let's say one in a million. What about Tinder night matters to make a whole business out of that? So she starts the conversation here. This beautiful lady starts conversation. And just for context, her third picture along is her like going down what looks like a waterfall in a kayak. So she starts risky. Yeah. So she starts with, hey, that third picture, you realize how dangerous wild water rafting is, right? Wow, I'm sorry. But that just seems a little reckless to be putting on your Tinder profile. I want a wife, not a drowned, bloated corpse. So how often do you go out and risk your life like that? It's canoeing. Not nearly as dangerous as wild water rafting. And it's been a good few years. The water looks white to me, sweetheart. I feel like I'm open to getting to know you still. Do you ever do coloring in books? I had a few beautiful mindfulness coloring in books, but I left them in South Africa. It sometimes sparked joy. What about you? Oh, South Africa is simply stunning. I love the trees and shit they have there. Do you go to that plate? Did you go to that place with animals and shit? I went there. I stayed for ages. It was fucked con. And she did not. It was fucked con. She was very vulgar language. Just call her a con. I'm never going to be able to go back on Tinder. It's just the animals everywhere. She goes in those animals. Oh, that one was good. All right, here we go. So she starts a conversation again. Hello there. When did you send this? This morning. What the fuck, really? That's so weird. I literally have been staring at your profile for hours demanding a message. And then you wrote that. My pits are wet. You must slay the ladies. A bit of a sweet talker. There's no need to be so rude. That's a compliment. Oh, oh my God. I'm so sorry. My therapist says I get really defensive as a defense mechanism to stop myself from getting to know people on a deeper level due to some childhood events. You must think I'm such a bag of fucking shit now. If it's okay, could we start over? Oh, that's okay. And I love honesty. I am brutally honest and a very dry sense of humor. Dry humor? What the fuck does that mean? Are you saying my humor is wedding yours or some shit? And she hasn't replied. Yeah, fuck. Have you ever gone to get anyone to the point of meeting me with when you're bipolar, like happy and angry and rude? She's loved getting treated like shit, Matt. Clearly not, because she didn't write back. Yeah, it's early stages. She will reply. What about all the other ones we've sent stuff to? You showed me one that was beautiful, and she never replied. Look, if they can deal with this, then they can deal with that. Yeah, if you break them early, then you can do whatever you want. She'll do whatever you want. There's one out there, Matt. There's one out waiting for you. Maybe. All right, here we go. Matt starts a conversation with this one. Klingwrap is so fucking frustrating. I always lose my temper in an explosive way and just end up tearing the Klingwrap apart. And shit like that. Do you do shit? And for that reason, I don't own Klingwrap, so we're safe from any meltdowns. Well, what if you only finish half a meal and want to keep it for later? On and you're hungry again. Honestly, survival of the fittest, shove it in the fridge and worry about the consequences later. You live dangerously. I also live dangerously. Sometimes I turn my headlights off while driving at night and see how long I can drive in the dark for. My record is 21 seconds. I'll one up you there. I don't wear my glasses when I drive, so it's always dark. The little reflectors on the road is like Braille. You hit them, you hit them of them and then you know you're going in the right direction. It's the big bumps that are worrisome. Yeah, just letting you know I've reported you. That's so fucking reckless. I can't do this. Oh, you got it off with that. Holy shit. Oh, that's it. Dude, that's dangerous shit. Remember when we used to do that? Yeah, actually, Michael and I actually did used to do that. We don't recommend anyone ever doing that. So dumb. I love early 20s. I don't even think we should say it because I want anyone trying it. Imagine someone dying. Don't do it. That's why we did it. But it is possible because your eyes adjust to the dark. You can slightly to see the faint of the road. Our eyes weren't adjusted. We just turn the lights off and it'd be pitch black for a few seconds and we turn the lights back on. Some pirate trivia, they would wear eye patches. So when it came night time, they could switch the eye patch to the other side and they'd have night vision. There's no reason to be homophobic right now, man. Wow, that was weird. Sorry. All right. This is a conversation that started last week. Well, we read it out last week. Yeah. We read it out last week, but it continued. So this is the one where you want to suck her tits. Oh, you asked if, um, if I sucked your tits long enough, even though you want pregnant, would you start producing milk? I would do that experiment if you would get bored. Remember that? No. Save money. No, honey. It's the pregnancy hormones that begin milk production and that doesn't mean we can't try. Yeah. I would really like to just lie in bed and suck on your tits for hours, alternating between the two and filling you up as I suck. I can't let you do all the sucking. That doesn't seem fair. Yeah. You can suck my tits too. Then I would flip you over onto your belly and dislocate my shoulders and fingers. Then I would drag my dislocated arms over your back with all my fingers pointing in different directions. What's your number? I have to suck your tits this week. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yes. Oh, God. That sounds like the worst back rub ever. I don't know how to, how to top that. I'll quickly go get some straw implants in my nipples so I can connect them to a cup of milk and you can have a drink. And then she sent her number and then I sent your number back and said, I want to bite my dick off and spit it into your stretched open asshole. That's fucking hot. She said that. But you can't bite it off because then you won't feel how good it feels to slip it into me. Maybe you can bite off your balls instead. Oh, yeah. I want to grip my balls and stretch them as far as they go. Then keep stretching until they rip away at the base. Then I'm going to pop them in your mouth while I'm fucking smashing you senseless. Yes, Daddy. Do that for me and I'll do whatever you want me to do. Yeah, I'm going to cut my lips off with scissors and staple them to my forehead. And then I'm going to head by your fucking tits while my dick spins like a drill. Dang. You're into some weird shit. And it's doing things to me. Oh, fucking hell. I love that I can be so open with you sexually. I want to legally adopt you and change your name to Crickpult. Then I want you on the roof while I peg rocks at you naked. Baby, you can be open with me however you want because my legs are still going to be open for you. I love my parents, but yeah, you can be my daddy. What does Crickpult mean, though? The more rocks you hit me with, the hornier I'm going to get. Oh, my fucking god. I've never had someone agree to this before. Crickpult is the name of the sex demon that seduced Satan. Oh, my god. Let me break my fingers in front of you. Crickpult! Crickpult! Crickpult! Is she replied? She said, Well, now you have. Oh, my god. Yes. I'll be your sex demon. Break your fingers for me, Satan. Oh, my god. What's this one? Just show me. I want to know what its name is. Her? You mean? Matt, that's the one. That's the one you said, Oh, she's into Oomba. Oh, yeah. You can do all kinds of freaky shit with her, man. You can cut your lips off. Yeah, we'll get her to come up then. Pay for Oomba. It's not up. It's across. Whatever it is. Holy shit, Matt. Crickpult! Crickpult! Is that German? No, it's just the name of some sort of demon, I think. Anyway. I don't know how I feel about you getting old daddy with someone in my name. What do you mean? Doing your favor. Afternoon, Matt. Nice to see we matched again. So you've matched with her before. That guy with the blonde curly hair that is in your photos, he comes into my server all the time. That's Michael from Mighty and Michael, isn't it? They're piss funny. They are piss. Amy, I'm glad we matched again. I kind of missed our converse. With those silly fucking bastards. Michael actually ate human shit the other day. It was so sick. That would have been my literal reaction. I want to say, you are kidding, but I know you wouldn't be. And then I didn't reply to her. And then she writes back again, morning. You should see me swim. I've taught myself how to move like a dolphin through the waters. It's actually pretty beautiful. Have you learned any new skills? I would love to see you move so majestically through the water. And hmm, I've learned how to tell when we are going to get a drive off at work. Saved us thousands in the last two years. But if you want to see a special skill, I can do a three leaf clover with my tongue. Hmm, I wonder what that would feel like inside my ass. You want to find out? Lick, lick, lick. When are you available next? Then she didn't reply. When can you come over? It's so... And she hasn't replied? She didn't reply to that last one. Oh! But that was only today. She's not going to reply. She's just so keen. She doesn't even give a... So keen. How long was the time between these last two messages? Maybe like an hour? That's so... He just can't wait for the reaction. So he replies again. Oh, fuck. He's an impatient brand. Look, I've got to fuel up tonight. I'll go pass out old men things. But he's really stressed that you haven't replied. Oh, no. Tell her the truth. I had a great idea. Tell her the truth. This is a good conversation that got going on here. This is promising, this one. So Matt starts with... Did you watch the news tonight? No, why do you ask? I was eating mashed potato in the background on one of the news stories about those junkies fucking. It was hectic as shit. Have you ever been on the news or some shit? No, not really. Oh, damn, that sucks. Maybe one day you never know. I've been on the news twice now. Your smile is more infectious than any infection I've ever had. And trust me, I've had a lot. Lol, what kind of infections? And thank you. What did you do to be featured on the news? I get like skin and eye infections heaps. My tongue has cuts in it. And most of my back skin is scab. I was on the news for witnessing a rape. They asked me why I didn't stop it. But I legit just thought that they were fucking. I've had crippling depression ever since, but I think it's getting better. Not a good thing to witness. So what are you looking for here? I'm looking for someone to be by my side while we navigate the highs and lows of life. I want more than a partner. I want an extension of myself. And I want someone who doesn't care if I game all night and spend time with my mates on the weekend. We hang out enough already. It's fucking healthy to also do some shit on our own. I don't need someone on my back about it for fuck's sake. So what time do you plan to spend time with this someone when you've already made your plans if you're busy during the week? Well, we can hang out at night after work. And yeah, some weekends we can hang out and you can watch me game. Or if you've got your own Xbox, I would be willing to play multiplayer games. Can you cook? No, I can't. Well, can you learn? I love snacks while I game. Well, I like someone who cooks for me instead. Oh, fuck! How rude of me. Of course, I'll cook for you too, my sweet, sweet D. As long as I can lay my eggs in you, I'd do anything. What do you mean by lay your eggs in me? I have little love balls that have been handed down through my family generation to generation. It's customary for all browns to lay their love eggs inside their partners. Don't worry, it's nothing weird. She hasn't replied. Oh my god, dude. It's so crazy. I don't think I can listen anymore today. He thought they were having consensual sex. He witnessed a rape and didn't know the news asked him what it seemed to be. He just watched it happen. He said that to her. What's she thinking? It's crazy. He doesn't know the difference. He's just staring at the plank. Last one, last one. No, here we go. I've been inside the middle of a locust plague. Fucking terrifying. Every time I screamed, my mouth would fill. My mouth would fill with them. You have to stay completely calm and lay face down on the ground until they pass. Congratulations. You've just won Tinder's weirdest opening line ever award. How do you feel? This message, by the way, for those listening, I purposely, you know the word one, like the number one, and I've won something. So this next message, I'll just swap them over. Oh, no way. I've never won anything before. Except when I won a sausage roll eating contest once. What did I won? Well, I can see why you haven't won any grammar awards. Sorry, I'm not following. And that was the end of that. Oh, my God, dude. Very good. Fucking bravo. Closer, one step closer. Look, I reckon, would you say is winning? What? Do you want a relationship yet? Or do you still just want to fuck something? Just let me know. Or both. I hate it. Man, I can't believe that fucking news story shit. That was fucking good. All right, before we get into the questions and answers, I've got a question for you, Matt Brown. Hang on. My question is, yeah, you fucking man. What say you? Oh, God. What say you? What say you? I'm getting married in like two weeks. Really two weeks? Is that how you're going to ask her? One, two, two and a half. Holy shit. All right, top question. Vows yet? Questions. Top question went to Bryce Carter. Go on. When can we see Margaret do a prank call again? Was that the top question? How many likes? 400. You're lying. Yeah. I'm going to have to pull a Margaret. Margaret's hard to nail. Because if you go hard too early, they know it's bullshit. But you want to get some fucking crazy cray cake happening quickly so it keeps engaging. Margaret's won when we have lots of time and we still... Don't stress. We can do Margaret whenever we want. I'll back up. I'll back right off. Like, actually. Next question is from Harry Tupo. Can we officially request a poem segment? He says he's watched the poem a thousand times. So have I, man. I think that if I were to just make those random sounds on their own, the reason it was so funny is because Michael thought it was so funny. And I think that that alone is... Yeah, that's not going to grow us. Really, really, all of the words mixed together were perfect as well as having the slight bit of English in there. It really, really sounded like this. Art. Fat art. It's wonderful. I've watched it a thousand times too. And I still laugh just as hard. I've been watching... I've been keeping a look at the retention rate to see what you guys like and don't like. And during that poem bit, I've replayed it a lot, which is nice. But yeah, look, I guess Matt can even try in the Tinder converse to try and slide some poems in. They're not me. Look, that was an acrostic poem. But it was not acrostic at all. And I love how she didn't reply at all after that. Yeah. Does Marty still take cold showers to help with his stress and anxiety? Yeah, still do the cold showers. It's a bit rough now. It's f**k cold and f**k busy. But nah, still do the f**k cold showers. In summer, it's like, it doesn't really do anything. It's just like normal temperature water. Right now you're going cold showers. Every night I have a cold shower unless I'm feeling sick. Is it f**king cold? Not really at the moment. It's going to get a lot worse. In like two months' time, three months' time, that's when it's like... I procrastinate about getting into the shower. It's like, it's not that hard. How long are you in there? It's a normal shower length. So you can be in there cold and be using soap. Yep. Hell yeah, baby. Wow. That doesn't affect your blood pressure, or does it? Well, it lowers my stress, which is good for my blood pressure. Good. Next question is from Dylan B. Can we please call a family member and have Marty speak to have a German conversation with them on the podcast? It would be hilarious. I'd love that. I would love that too. There's not many... I don't have many family. Do you know... I can't do mum because she'd just be so... She's too shy. Maybe let's get Nicole or Nicky. We call one of them up. And we get you to have a conversation with them. Sabrina speaks German too, doesn't she? Yeah. What did I say? Nicky and Nicky. Sabrina or Nicky. Sabrina German? She just speaks German. Sorry. Next question is from Joshua Hughes. Money is no object. Is there an ultimate stunt or prank you would love to do if money was no limit? Man, I would love to fucking create this like bullshit made up like disease and I'd fucking lock down the whole of Earth for like two years and then I would make up this bullshit medicine and I'd force every dumb cunt to have it. That's what I'd do. Man, this does sound like fun. I'd probably just get all of the tits from every woman that's died. Cut all the tits off and I'd build a building out of breasts. Call it the breast building. It's very good. I'd go to the breast building and you'd have a tit top. You'd have one tit sitting at the very top and it's like I'm talking like 200 stories high just with tits made of tits. So that has to be very compact and you can go, you can catch an elevator which is also made of breasts all the way to the top and then you can look out you'd be in the clouds 200 stories high. Imagine a bed of breasts like lying on breasts. A breast bed. Oh man, you wouldn't want them rotting. It'd be magical. You'd want to spray them with something that preserves them. No pregnant bitches tits because I don't want any fucking weird milk shit getting on me. Matt? That's fucking gross. Your girl's going to be pregnant soon. You are 110% going to taste that milk. No way. I swear on your life. 100% you will. That is the worst thing in the world I reckon. Breast milk is disgusting. It is fucking disgusting. Really? I find it sick. You sucked on breast milk for probably max a year. I don't remember that shit. Normal milk in general is fucking disgusting. Like a cow's milk is fucked up let alone a human bean. I think you should try some. Yes, we got sent some. Remember? I think Maylon's had some. We did. We got sent period blood and we got sent breast milk in. It got on me or someone. I can't flash back. Something happened there and we got sent it and it's fucked up. Next question is from Tim Mostray. The question from Matt Brown. In the beginning of season 4 you guys were talking about your birth and you were going to check with your mother how your birth was and get back to us but you never did. I really wonder. I haven't slept since. So I recorded speaking to my mum. This is quiet and Matt Brown. Very good. There's a weird question but people want to know what my birth was like. What was it like giving birth to me? She laughed. She laughed. Why are you laughing? I'm just laughing. It was a funny question. It was an easy one. Was it? You said my Lauren came out nice and quiet and I came out screaming. You came out screaming. What did I say? No, you were just crying because I don't think you wanted to come out at that time. You would be tired. Well, and you were really red. But then and I thought we're going to have this red hair and your skin was really dry. So you were overcooked. I was overcooked. You were overcooked. So that was the answer to that question. So you were a big overcooked baby that was red. Why baby screaming and massive. She had to put moisturiser for like a week and then suddenly I just popped and came clean. What the fuck? I don't know, it was all red. You put moisturiser on as a baby. You think you'd come out all wet and shit? No, afterwards. After what? After I got home. After you got home it went all dry. Next question is from J-Man. We have locked them in. The boys are coming on. We'll be here at some point. And we're going to get flop run and try and... Oh, yeah. But yeah, they got news. Next question is from Pat Rafter. Remember Pat Rafter? Oh man. I love that. Scott Draper. Andy Riddick. Jason Stoltenberg. Fuck in Carlos Moya. One Carlos Ferreiro. Sebastian. Sam Sebastian, we've been there. It's in Spain. Get used to that. Next question is from Pat Ruiz. I only asked this because I thought it would be a good one to answer. About the new website. Do we have to do another subscription or will we retain our current subscription? So the way of how it explains me is we're going to try and move everyone's current accounts over to the new website as smoothly as possible. So you won't have to do anything I don't think. Don't they have to... No, I don't think so. They've got it made up so they can just take everything and move everyone across and make their new accounts. But we'll see. There was another follow-up question from someone else called Gregory Browntown who said a similar thing about will current members already be signed up for the same price? What your membership arrangement is at the moment will be the exact same on the new website? The new website's fucking... We've already got three content creators lined up to start making content for it as well. So the plan of turning into a little mini fucking Netflix of fucked up can't see us on its way. Oh, man. It's for good news. Flick balls. Next question is from Donut Films. He is back. I haven't heard from him. I think we've heard from him this season. He's probably out of school now. Donut Films, are you out of school yet? I really love to know. His question was, does Michael have... I think it's Famosis. Oh, Famosis. I did when I was younger. It's hard for you to pull your skin back. It's defined as the inability to attract the skin for skin covering the head of the penis. Yes, yes. But I've heard a bunch of other dudes have had it too, so it ain't that. It's pretty normal, sort of. Yeah, I've heard people get it just a little bit of a snip if it's too much. Yeah, I didn't have to. I think I've got the opposite of that. Mine just comes back so easily. Yeah, you're like circumcised without being circumcised. And I am circumcised. And now you know. You're fucking really? That's helmetless. Oh, it's big and it's just out of its fucking sack. But I actually asked mum about that years ago and she was saying that at the time a lot of men would get infections there because they were really bad at cleaning themselves. And so she was like, and they said if you have it circumcised you don't have to worry about it because you clean it pretty much simply. It was hard because it's so sensitive when you're young. So you have to pull the dick back and clean inside there ladies. Make sure you guys do this. Make sure you clean it. Remember you didn't do it for years. Yeah. So it was there was like cobwebs and fucking dust and it was crazy. Apparently you could get extreme infections from that and so mum was like if you get it circumcised apparently your chances of getting those were almost zero. So that's her reasoning behind it. And it also about foreskin acts as a natural lubricant so you can get rashes easier. You can get them easier. If you don't have it. I don't know. It tears the muscle fibres. Really? Yeah you're really hurting people Matt Brown. Oh wait. You're both you're affecting them with the the chlamydia and you're getting chlamydia. You're basically leaving your foreskin in people. You're leaving yourself in them. Yeah. Are we talking? Next question is from NicoJC Is it really that bad? I thought Michael was the dumb one. Go back to school Brown. I don't know. It depends what the subject is to know who's who's who's Well it's 10 it's a 9-4 so at the moment but you know Michael may have just been lucky that some of the subjects so far have been favoured to him. And that's questions. Yeah. That is questions. Straight on to the movie reviews. Hit that bitch Matt Brown. Matt's got a movie for Michael to review Matt's father's name is Greg and Michael would rather be dead. This is Michael's movie review. Little fluff in the clone. Alright so this is a segment where Matt gives Michael one of his beloved movies to watch and Michael reviews it as a common man and not coming from some fucking high and mighty movie buff fucking oh I know everything about every fucking movie I have the best tasty movie. I've never said that. Type of person. Okay. I've come to realise and you'll know these sort of people too Marty. There is a fucking like type of human being on this planet known as movie people. We fucking used to know one. I think that's different to me though. And like these people it's their life. They hate their lives so fucking much that they live in the realm of these fucking dumb films. It's an escape. It's a drug. And not only that there's certain films that are fun like I'll escape in Titanic you know wow that love story I found in real life now it's beautiful. Then the movie The Beach fuck have I travelled the world it's great and I've had fucking good times and I've just I've been I was Leonardo DiCaprio at one point I'm pretty sure. I don't remember that too that was a wild summer. But then there's films like like these films that it's like you are these people are such fucking try-hards that they like think that because they like fucking this director is really different or it's a cult following it's creative bro. It was low budget you said today like oh it was low shit and man there's one thing I fucking hate about certain films that try and be real already. Just review the film and shut the fuck up. I'm talking about the film. You're not talking about the film. You're talking about you. I'm talking about the film right now this film right this is this sort of film right. They what film was it? Fucking Reservoir Dogs thank you great film this film right is the type of film righty where the scene goes for like half an hour. Oh yeah and they just have the scene going out and the conversation so free following and it's off script and yeah like it's just like one angle just on them and they just keep going back for they started their words a bit but it's art because it's not perfect it's just shit it's utter shit okay. You just don't appreciate people who can act for a longer you can't do it in your videos we have so many takes. You can act for short you can act for long you can act for fucking medium I don't give a shit just be better and be good that was fucking shit and it's like this to me Michael. So basically Michael saying it's fuck fuck it's spot on what I think of it mate thank you I didn't really have the words for it but like it is so far shit that I would never ever ever watch that if someone paid me two grand to watch that again I would fucking never ever do it I would man it was so boring it's you know those gang stuff and this is the type of people right these fucking losers that watch this want to be a gangster themselves and I can see Matt going quoting the fucking calls and they're proper badass they hang out and they fucking you know like the movie you fucking there's another one. Fast and furious not the godfather it's fucking it's a famous mafia film good fellas good fellas shit film because it's a bunch of want to be tough cunts acting like they're tough but they're just actors and the people that like those movies are fuckwits good fellas is a true story I don't give a fuck is it really yeah okay that sort of makes that okay that's why but reservoir dogs is shit it is shit and it will always be shit did you actually watch the whole thing watch told you saw me finish it today I caught you at the end finishing it yeah yeah that guy's an undercover agent he's just complaining about being shot in the fucking stomach it's just them in a car for half a film with him bleeding out going I've been shot I've been sure warehouse no no he's in a fucking car at the start what about what about other things other scenes there's other great scenes dude it's so shit the cop when he cuts the ear off yeah he does the dance in front you didn't enjoy that no dude it's as I said it tries to be so off-center and being left fucking see you're so you're so like I need to watch every movie when it's you know set at this time that you don't appreciate you can't appreciate all movies because back then when they did that film it was so shocking to chop someone's ear off in a film they've never seen that before I don't care I don't don't even chop the ear off just fuck off with that we've done that for a video it's like oh man okay I'll tell you one thing that's getting me off at the moment there is a series called from from on stand and it's fucking good what's about I don't know gangsters it's good fellas in a TV series I've got no idea good fellas now knowing that that's real I okay I'm like okay that's alright I don't mind the home alone guy in it he's all right so what do you give it out of ten you don't mind Joe Pesci yeah he's alright yeah very good good fellas shit's all over this oh yeah good fellas is better but good fellas there's still that that fucking like gangster vibe of like old-school mafia gangster films it's just shit I'd rather watch fucking like someone get fucked like man like what's a film you like comedies that's that's the only thing these are these are the things that you're not Billy Madison is like ten times better than this yeah you just like to watch comedies that's why you struggle with other films because you just like comedies and that's it well so what do you give it out of ten I reckon it's like it's a four out of it's a four out it's a four out it's a three out of ten three out of ten well that's still pretty high considering all the other films you've rated are very low yeah yeah look it's alright you had enjoyable scenes no no no I hated the whole thing but like I can get what he means like he's trying to be it's they're trying they're trying do you like any of the Mr. Brown chatter no it's just no sorry I just put that out there you miss most of it because I do like I do like the actor that gets away at the end or has the shoot up I think Steve Bishimi because he's from your comedy films yeah he's in Billy Madison alright so that's Michael's review so what do you give that movie out of ten Reservoir Dogs about a seven seven right so Marcus so in reality it's probably like a five um have you ever seen LA Confidential it's one of this film is actually one of my actual favorite films have it on DVD in there and um and um it's very very very it's got a sexy girl at the front yeah I guess so yeah I think I've seen the cover I haven't seen the film all right LA Confidential LA Confidential it has one of your favorite actors Bruce Willis Russell Crowe what do you think of the show Lost yeah wait hang on so there's two parts to Lost there's the whole splits into another dimension and time thing and then the actual running story do you know what I mean they go together yeah I've never watched the whole thing the actual Lost them just the continuous story is great when they go off into another dimension thing is just ridiculous so first season alright let's move on there's probably people who don't give a fuck about well you need to control him hey I threw it out there and I didn't like what I look let's talk about my maths review now maths was given a video to review quality shit this is one that is just come out on the website alright so website members you may not have you may not have even seen this yet okay this is just out on on yesterday on Sunday alright so you can pause now go and watch it first and I sat with Matt today and we gave it one final watch through it's called the Pistolary alright Matt what did you think I've watched a few of your videos so this one wasn't like super gross so I've seen the ones that I'm in and I've I've reviewed two now the two that you reviewed were really really gross so you can we picked purposely you can see with the world like my picture and vision of your website is fucked yeah yeah so why would I tell my mother go here you should see what my friends are doing no you were this why we gave you a little bit different this pistolary was a bit of a sketchy vibe a bit of more of a sketch it's still gross I want to know I want to know how involved you were with the setup what do you mean because everything I all like everything that shits me about your videos like it's like you listened finally some of the videos you've watched were from years ago this one you just always filmed like three months ago we improved all the time so you have been listening listen to you we just just started three weeks ago this was filmed we just get better we just get better with that listening to you was James involved I feel like he is a 100% man he was involved but like just steer away from just the visuals I can't all you need to focus on with girls with movies with fucking our website videos the visual has to be so shallow improve the visuals and maybe you'll get better ratings but today when I watched that video all I could see was except for one thing that you fucked up on it was a fucking masterpiece oh wow really enjoyed it you went to a pistolary or a wine tasting or a piss tasting which is pretty fucked now considering I just went on a trip and I went to a few wineries it really touched home so I understood what I was doing it was actually a real piss we don't fuck around I touched on this so where we got the only negative was you had the van in there we had the van in the background we had the van in the background but you can move past that everything was amazing Michael the outfit I don't know who picked it whether it was you or if it was like a group effort like every single thing you nailed the glasses you wore the hat you wore your bag it all went really really well and you have points for the outfit even Marty's character Elaine I think you wore what I wore on one of the things here but it's for some reason it perfectly suited this man named Elaine and he's wearing pink and white wardrobe on point now we're at a house can I say it's James? we're at James's house which I think you used very very well another one percenter and you've put a barrel and you've made a sign saying the wine this is exactly what wineries are like you sit in some stupid seat with a barrel and there's like a sign there and it says what the you even had what was it pissed distillery we did up beyond the bladder beyond the bladder and you had it there that is the shit I'm talking about the one percenter that make the videos hilariously funny is you kind of feel like you're actually there that got me tears a little bit visual another visual comment the serving trays made out of wood very good everything very good now the now during each tasting Michael dives back into his diary entry for I guess he's doing the review of the winery and that's very good the cut the cuts to that and your quick eagerness to write down a diary entry was very good acting made me laugh a lot do you like to vomit? shut up and get into it alright the swishing around of piss each time and then the skull like it made me vomit a little inside but while that was heading towards a negative comment as as the taste test went on it became funnier and funnier that you got over the gagginess and you kind of really enjoyed it because you made it quite funny and then yeah you vomited which was the worst part of the whole thing I had to look away it was very tough eat a shit load of asparagus and I promise you if you fucking drink your piss it will literally just taste like salt I do my notes here asparagus piss that was the most fucked and the most funniest just the reactions to it the terrible pouring methods you were doing all over the place they pour wine so elegantly in these places and you were just like you'd pour and splash it got me off a bit the reason I thought it did so well is because these places are all the same they're all you know what I mean and you really walked a fine line of taking the piss out of them literally it just I don't know it related and I think if any wine people are out there they're gonna get that relating thing we have many wine tasting fans we might have one I started writing down I did want a little more explanation of like is the piss real is it not and I started to get a bit anxiety that you won't gonna show any of that but the bloopers at the end show how you guys made the piss bottles and what you did so that's very good work I'm glad you included that at the end because I felt there would have been a bit of fake fuckery going on people wouldn't believe it I think our website members know that we don't fake it when it comes to piss but I'm thinking new people that is it might have been one piss bottle too many there was a lot but still I wouldn't put points down for it it was very funny Elaine's acting was very good and Michael's acting was very good but one of my favorite bits of the whole thing was when it was too much for Michael he started breaking character during his department it's got a rawness about it he just started speaking his normal accent very very funny it's probably what top three videos I've ever seen you do I gave it a 9 it was very good I'm not fucking around I'm not taking the piss that's very exciting almost as exciting as this all this shit 9 out of 10 we know you like the sketches it's not just the sketches whatever you guys did not even high end not even high end when you take that little bit extra time to go oh no we'll put this here put that there or put a sign there to explain this it just makes you feel like you're a bit more there with different vibes sometimes our sketches we do put in the 1% but if it's just us flogging each other with sticks and shit there's probably not a lot of 1% to get in that very simple videos and I like that I won't put you down for 1% in those things but we'll see comment below right now we have the podcast from last week is coming out as we're filming this because we're filming on a Monday so we have to get the comments from two weeks ago to see what video you want us to show Matt so website members comment what video you want us to show Matt you want him to review ok I've already got one for next week figure out what kind of content to you Marie likes it's funny as by the way don't forget to like comment subscribe and give us a 5 star review on Spotify it only takes a second it really helps us out all our videos are demonetized so it's the only way we grow is through your help we're at 2k 5 star reactions 5 star reviews on Spotify I really want to see fucking hell like there's what we get 10k average views on this if it's not age restricted can we please I'd say there's 200 of you that haven't 5 star let's see if we can get it to 2.2k on Spotify maybe some of you YouTube listeners just switch over to Spotify it won't let you give a review unless you've listened to a little bit so what I like to do is just go into Marie and Michael fully actual press play skip like halfway into a podcast press pause and then you should be able to give us a 5 star review just helps us and then come straight back and listen and then it helps us so much it does it helps us more than you realize because it's growing see and everyone sees how it's growing because we're still just like Matt's still working in his concrete tower we're grinding we're grinding five years now and now it's getting age restricted you know it's like it's starting to decrease in views so that's really really like motivating when we're age restricted killing the motivation it hurts me it hurts me a lot anyway let's move along hey we're going to do a segment we haven't done for a while it's the pu-bo-box it's pu-bo-box sorry pu-bo-box we've renamed it remember to the pu-bo-box and this is a segment where we open live shit that you guys have sent to us what's that the letter month what's the five six take them 4018 Queensland if you want to send a shit we're open live on the fucking podcast and we will we get sent the weirdest shit we've been sent teeth blood come all sorts of shit and at the end of this season we will be super gluing all of the pubes we get sent to Matt's hair he will fish this is the pu-bo-box right here the lid's not on properly um so this is the start of the pubes here and uh what pubes pubes yes it begins alright guys let's fill this fucking box up let's fill this fucking box up someone's already sent pubes right Matt pour them in oh we're still in discussion of what how we're going to yeah yeah look nothing sense nothing sense stone oh god that's a lot okay oh my god oh what is it what is that I don't know someone okay Michael's just opened a package there's some sort of brown substance what is that man I bet you it's anthrax it's happened is it shit? I think it's anthrax it's happened is there a dress on there it looks like Matt's come well done there's a sticker on it more to pay um yeah give me a look it looks like cat shit to be honest like that actually looks like cat shit I don't know what that is so someone's just a brown bag a bag with some brown kinda looks like rocks and shit together see that that looks like poo and then that looks like rocks very interesting cat litter thank you who have said that I guess we'll put that alright here we go as I'm opening this as I'm opening this I see the number 666 never good I see you alright now there's another envelope inside watch out Marty oh I think we have oh man that would be nice just Marty be careful that's got a movie alright it's another envelope inside this envelope I'm opening it now and it's a fuck load of pubes it's a fuck load of pubes it smells like lemon there's something in there yeah there's a figurine in there as well alright can you hold that for a second man I gotta grab the pubo box it's finally starting to fill up keep sending your shit in guys alright pour that in what is it what is it Matt Brown what is it I thought it was the razor that they used is it something to smoke the pubes with looks like a pipe or something oh hang on I think I saw a message about this they put an army figurine man in there so it's a little sniper dude in there oh no it's Chewbacca it's Star Wars put them in the pubo box we can even super little Chewbacca your favourite man to your fucking head oh well look at that it's starting to grow nicely well done everyone keep sending your pubes in to our pubo box and hopefully we'll have a nice and full by the season finale everybody I don't know if I can do it it's just a head no because I know what the season finale is and where that takes place and I just don't know if I can do it well just use a glue that you just wash it straight away in front of that many people and it just no but then girls would be like oh Matt's got a head of hair I don't know you could look really good we'll get a sexy hairdresser to apply it you'll have one breast your time is there for us to waste picking up your phone was your first mistake ha ha ha ha it's prank call time and that is hard to listen to it's so hard to listen to it's quite good hello hello my name Arnold Fein I call because you have arcade game yes pardon you have arcade game you play arcade game yeah we are in arcade so there are games in here ok I need I have a child maybe 4, 5, 6 years old have party I want to know if I can buy arcade game from you um yeah you wanted to have a party here yes I want to party at arcade do you know what the packages are and all that no I have no package yet I sometimes get package from family from overseas but I do not know your package so the packages the packages I mean I like the cards and stuff I want to play arcade I do not want to buy a package I do not know I want to play game you understand I do not want a package the packages the packages are the cards that you use to play the game I do not want card or package ok I want to just play arcade game ok how much money I need to give you sorry man it's really hard to understand ok ok you be racist you be racist you say me hard understand I try my best in your country you hard understand very rude your arcade a snake your little snake at arcade I tell you my child and my children are flaking around with my sick wife I just want happy birthday play game with arcade how much money I give you how much money you need I give you to pick hello why you not speak to me why you be so rude I know where your arcade is maybe you put me on to manager the manager is on here right now I'm trying to explain what the packages are I do not want a package I just want to play game with my child I have two children ok they 5 I do not know their names and I want to come in and play arcade I do not want if you want to party you need more than two people they have at least 8 they have a friend they have a sister my wife she has two sister they have a 4-5 kid and I bring pet pick we have 3-4 pet pick 8 what time what time can I come party if you have the arcade opens at 9.30 do you have alcohol or me need to bring my own vodka you can't drink his what do you mean it's a party no why you just gave up Yes, I don't stand for him. Oh, man. Fuck me. It's a rough one. It's a rough. I feel bad always not delivering on the prank calls, guys, but it's getting late again. And I know we promised you guys the prank calls would be fucking amazing a few weeks ago, but we keep making the same mistake and we're just working for too long on a Monday. And now it's late and everyone's disappointed and it's all my fault. Hey, look, it's fucking hard. It's hard work. It wasn't too bad. All right, everybody. Sorry about that shit prank call. We'll be back next week. You fucking know that we're the best. We got Joshan on next week as a guest. She's gonna get fucking wild and shit. We'll have two fucking bald cunts here. She's gonna get hectic as shit. Joshan and Matt are gonna fucking fight. They're gonna wrestle on their knees and fuck each other. It's gonna be fucking hectic. We're fucking the best. the best you fuck with.