 This is Think Tech Hawaii, Community Matters Here. Welcome to Out of the Comfort Zone on Think Tech Hawaii on OC-16 Television. They didn't fire me last time, but they might after I finished today's episode. Today I'm covering an incredibly uncomfortable, difficult, and emotional topic, and I'm sure you've got an opinion on it. If you want to chime in and tell me your side of the story, tweet at thinktechhi, alright, thinktechhi. Now there's a story behind this episode. When I first signed on to host this show, I created a list of all the things that I knew made people uncomfortable or afraid, and a list of people that I knew could speak to that. Last Thursday, I reached out to my brother in Las Vegas, who teaches people and qualifies him for a CCW. In other words, he teaches people how to shoot, what the rules are, and he helps them get their licenses to conceal, carry firearms. And I called up Nate, and I said, hey, do you want to talk about firearms, why people are afraid of them, and why your clients still want to shoot them? And he said, sure, why not? So we had a plan. But then, over the weekend, there was a horrible tragedy in Las Vegas. There was a monster who decided to cause as much suffering and pain and death as possible. As I contemplated the shooting and the aftermath and the grief, I asked myself if it was still a good idea to proceed with this show. I wanted to be respectful. People died. People were murdered. And I'm not going to try and use that for my own political arguments. No matter what gun laws you pass or gun freedoms you protect, people are still going to die. It doesn't matter in the future whether everybody carries guns or nobody does. There will still be suffering and cruelty and madness. We're humans, and no laws will ever change the darker side of human nature. But the more I thought, the more I realized I still had something to say. One monster is dead, but the world is still full of monsters. Fifty-nine people died, and hundreds, thousands more will continue to die, but you are still alive to fight. And that's who the fight is for. That's what the fight comes down to, good versus evil, civilization versus savagery, monsters or men. You are the one worth fighting for, and you are the one who must do the fighting. It's all on you. You can't rely on anybody else in this fight, because no one can truly stand between you and danger all of the time. As Sansa Stark said in Game of Thrones, no one can protect me. No one can protect anyone. For the next 25 minutes I'm going to lay out why the only person who can protect you is you. But first, here's our body language tip and our book of the week. When it comes to body language, criminals actually read people's body language to find a good victim, an easy victim. Criminals and office bullies are looking for small, vulnerable, weak body language. The body language of defeat. When you're feeling defeated, you slump over, you hunt your shoulders, you might press your elbows against your body. The point is you take up as little space as possible. This body language says, don't notice me, I'm not a threat, I'm nobody, please leave me alone. And in polite society, when you see somebody like this, you might think they're uncomfortable or shy, you might think something's wrong, you might take pity on them or try to take care of them or just leave them alone. For criminals however, this body language says, I'm easy pickings, I won't put up a fight, I'm a good victim. And that is not the message you want to be sending. Now most of the time I see this low power posing on men or less confident men or women. And wherever you are right now, whether you're sitting or standing, I want you to actually pause and take note of your posing and your posture. By posture, I mean your shoulders, how much space you're claiming up and down. Are you slouched over, slumping down, physically shorter? Or is your back straight with your chin in the air? By posing, I mean how much space are you taking up side to side? Are you spread wide as if you were sprawled across two or three chairs? Or are you shrunken down and claiming a single chair or less? And this posing has nothing to do with your weight or your bulk. I've seen very broad people take very low power poses because they're self-conscious about their size. And if that's you, low power posing doesn't serve you, so stop it. Claim your space. I've seen tall people hunch over because they're uncomfortable with their height. Stop it. That's victimization body language. And I've also seen small or slender people dominate the room by aggressively claiming the space around them. And that doesn't usually work in their favor either. All right. So here's, let's look at some pictures to compare. This, let's say this is picture one. This is the type of posing that says I'm a victim. You're small, shrunken down. Picture two is where you are taking up as much space as possible. You might seem a little bit cocky, careless, or even a little bit arrogant. So in every situation where you're dealing with a human being, I want you to make sure you are not looking like a victim. Here's what I want you to do instead. I want you to stand tall, shoulders back with your head high, chin in the air, and chest puffed out. I want you to let your arms rest naturally and loosely at your sides. Maybe hand on your hip, maybe not. But this body language where you're claiming your space says I'm confident, I'm strong, and I'm exactly where I belong. If you don't look like a good victim, you're much less likely to be victimized. And now for the book of the day. It's one of my favorites, but I don't have a copy to show you because after I bought it, I loved it so much that I gave it to my mother so she could read it and stay safe too. This book is a necessary purchase for anyone who's ever felt uneasy about something or someone, but laughed off those feelings instead of listening to them. Has that been you? If so, this is the book you need. The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker. The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker. And the thanks for this book goes out to my high school debate teacher, Mr. Jackson of Dixie High, who had all his debate students read certain chapters to keep themselves safe. Thank you, Mr. Jackson. That book actually changed my life. And for one more time, that's The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker. Now back to the topic at hand. The only one who can keep you safe is you. Now you might be wondering, what about the police? Hello? Anytime in danger, I can just call 911. And as someone who's personally called 911 before, I can tell you, the 911 hotline is incredibly valuable. It's a blessing to many. It saves lives. But the vast majority of calls happen after you're already in danger, or the danger has already ruined lives. I'm going to get a little bit personal. I'm going to tell you a story from my childhood. When I was maybe eight, maybe nine, I remember playing with my friends outside on my driveway, which was on a quiet neighborhood street, really safe area. And I remember being one of the oldest in the group, so naturally I wasn't charged. And I remember a sedan pulling up on the street in front of my driveway where we were playing. There was a couple inside, a man and a woman. And they rolled down the window, and they asked me to come closer, and they asked for my help. They said they've lost a dog, and we're looking for a certain street. And could I please help them? And they kept wanting me to come closer. They asked me to get into the car to help them find that street because they were lost. Do you see what was going on there? At the time, I didn't think they were trying to kidnap me. But I knew I shouldn't get in the car with anyone unless they carried a specific password for my mother or my mom had made advanced arrangements with me. And so this couple trying to get me into their car, I felt distinctly uncomfortable. I remembered my mom's rules. I didn't get into the car. I said, no, no thank you. I'm sorry. And I just walked away. I cut away from that car, shoot my younger friends and my younger sister inside. And we didn't come out for the rest of the day. So long story short, maybe I was overreacting. Maybe this couple really was lost and had absolutely angelic intentions of taking me right back home after they found their street or their dog. That's a possibility. But maybe they were looking for a child to abduct and the child they were trying for was me. If I had gotten into that car, imagine what a 911 call would have done. It would have started up a search. It might have set up roadblocks. I might have been safely recovered. Or it might have been too late. The kidnapper's too wily. And I could have been lost forever. You see, there's a tipping point of crime. The best time to fight crime is when it's right in front of you and it hasn't happened yet. That's when it's still in your power. The police can only fight what they know about or have proof of when they're physically there to intervene. And they can only do that for what is legally in their jurisdiction to deal with. If these three things aren't met, the police can't protect you. If there had been a police officer on my street as a child who would witness the exchange, maybe he could have walked over and inquired. But there wasn't. The only one who was there, the only one with the power to fight that potential crime was me. And when it comes to your own lives, the only person to fight your potential battles, the only one who was there 100% of the time is you. And that means you have to be prepared. Joining me is Nate Boller, owner and co-founder of Ready Tactical LLC from Las Vegas, Nevada. And James Boller from the Las Vegas Metro Police Department. They're both my brothers. Hi James, hi Nate, how are you? Thank you for joining me. Doing well. Good to see you. I know we had some technical difficulties. These guys have been such troopers in getting here today. So Nate, first I wanted to ask you and then you can answer this James. What is, in your opinion, the very first thing people need to do to keep themselves safe from crime? What are some of those easy first steps? Some of the easiest things people can do is to cultivate a defensive mindset is what we like to call it. And basically that would consist of just taking the time to be more aware of your surroundings and what's going on around you. We're all very busy every day. There's people all around us. We're in different locations, whether it's at work or shopping or at home or whatever. And we get very complacent because nothing bad has happened to us before any situation. So why would stuff happen to us now? Unfortunately criminals and those with nefarious intent aren't going to let us know beforehand what they're planning on doing to us. And so by being more aware of one's surroundings you can kind of mitigate that threat and catch things before they start. And it kind of ties back into the posturing that you were talking about earlier. There's simple things you can do just looking people in the eye when you pass by them lets them know, I see you. I see you, you're there. I'm not gonna get victim. Even if they didn't have any nefarious intent, you see them. And them knowing that can go a long ways. That makes sense. That makes a lot of sense. Well, how about you, James? How would you answer that? James, I'm sorry, we're not hearing you. We're gonna, all right, we're gonna fix this. We're gonna take a quick break. This is out of the comfort zone on Think Tech Hawaii on OC16 and we will be right back. This is Think Tech Hawaii, raising public awareness. We all play a role in keeping our community safe. Every day we move in and out of each other's busy lives. It's easy to take for granted all the little moments that make up our everyday. Some are good, others not so much. But that's life. It's when something doesn't seem quite right that it's time to pay attention. Because only you know what's not supposed to be in your everyday. So protect your everyday. If you see something suspicious, say something to local authorities. Aloha, my name is Mark Shklav. I'm the host of Think Tech Hawaii's Law Across the Sea. Law Across the Sea comes on every other Monday at 11 a.m. Please join us. I like to bring in guests that talk about all types of things that come across the sea to Hawaii. Not just law, love, people, ideas, history. Please join us for Law Across the Sea, Aloha. All right, thank you. We are back. We figured out those pesky technical difficulties. So James, you're on. How would you answer that question? Basically, I see a lot of people that have a mentality that they are exempt from crime just because, like Nate said, it hasn't happened to them before, so it's not gonna happen now. That makes sense. And they are in denial. They walk around in this bubble that they think exists around them. And so you work in Las Vegas. You've seen probably a lot of crazy stuff out there. Would you agree that one of the biggest mistakes that people make leading to their victimization is just not thinking about it? Yes. A lot of people are victims of crime because they make bad choices and they just culminate with bad situations. Bad situations, yeah. So it sounds like one of the very first things you need to do if you want to stay safe is actually think about what could go wrong, all right? So it sounds like your very first weapon when it comes to self-defense is actually your mind. Nate, would you agree with that? Absolutely. Absolutely. In your opinion, what would be then the second best weapon to keeping yourself safe? Well, you can go down a lot of avenues. If one has a defensive mindset, that alone is gonna help a lot. You can carry that forward by deciding to carry a weapon of some sort if that's what you're comfortable with. You can take various hand-to-hand combat classes to be more confident with your ability if you were to get in a situation with a bad guy, so to speak. There's a lot of tools and classes and things one can do to take it beyond just mindset. Beyond just mindset. So it sounds like the next step after that is actually figuring out what to do. Now I know, this was one of my favorite quotes, Kate, in high school, my nickname was actually the assassin because I carried all these weapons. And so general, they called him Mad Dog Mattis. He has this quote where he says, you should always smile, be polite, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet. So I would carry these pens around and I would be thinking, okay, this person actually has nefarious intentions, here's what I'm gonna do with this pen, which I think is kind of funny. But James, when it comes to self-defense, we've sometimes seen cases where people are carrying a weapon and then they encounter the police. And what should people be doing if you're carrying a weapon for self-defense and you're interacting with a police officer? What's the best way to keep everyone safe? The best thing to do is just keep your hands visible and move slowly and listen to what the police officer is telling you. That makes sense. I mean, we've seen a lot of cases where these interactions just go suddenly sideways. And it seems like in every situation, if you move slowly when the police officer encounters you, you'll let them see your hands. You're not like, oh, I've got this thing. No, don't do that. Move slowly, keep your hands visible and obey their commands. I think, one, if you've got a problem with the police officer, you can always take it up in court. You can always file a complaint. But I don't think it's worth it to risk your life right there in that situation when simply being polite, being respectful, and moving slowly would solve that situation. Would you agree with that? Absolutely, awesome. All right, what are some other ways people can cooperate more effectively with the police? Because the police can't be everywhere, but how can people work together to keep their neighborhoods and their families safe? The best neighborhoods, the ones with the least amount of crime, it's where the neighbors actually come out, talk to each other, and they have a relationship with each other. Wow. And they keep an eye out for each other. So you've got that bond of trust where if you see something sneaky going on at the house across the street, you know, hey, they're actually out of town. No one's supposed to be there right now. This is a problem. You're actually able to fix it. That makes sense where you have to work together to make a solution. Nate, how would you respond to that? Would you agree? That's exactly right, Rachel. I would agree with that. In today's society, we often get caught up with me, me, me in the moment, and it's very easy to lose track of the people around us and our neighbors, and I kind of lose that human connection. And I think that's why we see a lot of the horrific things that we do see is because people have lost the connection with each other, and so bad things happen accordingly. That makes sense. I mean, I don't know the psychology of all these criminals who've been causing problems, but it seems like they don't mind breaking the law, so they don't mind hurting people, and so no matter what laws you pass, it's not gonna fix them. It's only when the good guys band together and take a stand that things are actually gonna change. All right, so Nate, I've got another question for you. Guns, well for me personally, guns are one of the most effective ways to protect yourself because if I'm facing up a 200 pound super strong guy, my pen's not gonna do anything. Even if I've got a knife, it's not gonna do anything. A gun seems like the biggest equalizer to keep me alive. But a lot of people are scared of guns. Guns have been involved in a lot of accidental deaths and injuries even for people with totally good intentions. So in your opinion, are guns too dangerous to carry, or can they actually be safe? Guns can absolutely be safe. The most gun accidents happen because of one of two reasons. Either a lack of knowledge, which are a lot of the terrible things you see that happen with children that get their hands on guns that they shouldn't. And then the other one is complacency. People that have been around guns for a while, they know it's not loaded. You always hear that same song and dance, but it is a very dangerous thing if it's not treated with that respect. And so you've gotta educate yourself and those around you, and you have to maintain that vigilance in order for it to be used properly. But it is absolutely an equalizer to protect someone who is weaker, someone that criminals would victimize. That makes sense. Now you actually teach people how to shoot. You actually help people to get their license to conceal, carry their firearms. So what are some of the most common reasons that your clients give you for wanting to learn? In every class we have had, and we've taught hundreds of people, in every class there have been people who have been raped, mugged, assaulted. Crime is out there. Bad guys are out there. And unfortunately, there isn't a cop assigned to protect each one of us 24-7. It's just not conceivable. And so people, they want to protect themselves and they want to do so in the most effective way possible. And a lot of times that means learning about firearms, learning how to be proficient and effective with them and safe with them, and using that firearm to protect themselves and their family members. That's an awesome answer. James, is there anything you would want to add to that? I mean, guns are dangerous. No matter how much training you have, no matter how many precautions you take, they're dangerous. But you can mitigate a lot of the risks associated with them through the proper training, through the proper methods to secure the firearm, how to handle the firearm, et cetera. It is a great equalizer. That's why they're invented. That's why people still use them today. Yeah, when you think about the technology, guns have, and they've totally changed the course of our warfare. They've totally changed all the different weapons we use. But I thought it was interesting, both of you brought up children and keeping your children safe. So I know as a kid, all right, I could have been kidnapped or I could have been taken for a short drive and dropped back off at my house, but I could have been kidnapped. So I was safe because my mother sat me down and said, okay, here are the rules for talking to strangers. You don't get in their car. You don't believe anything they tell you about me, unless I've told you that. She had certain rules for us. So James, do you have any advice for what parents should be teaching to their kids about how to stay safe? It all goes back to that mindset. A lot of the times we see some even kids that are victims of crimes. And most of the time it's because they aren't even aware or they don't even try to be aware of what's going on around them. That makes sense. Most of the time, they're just be bopping down the street, had phones in, looking down at their phone, texting or whatever it is kids do on their phones. And then all of a sudden, boom, they've been hit in the back of the head. The phone's taken, the wallet's gone. Or worse. That's bad. And what's interesting, if you tie it back to the body language, as soon as you check your phone, you go from, if you're looking around at other people, you know you've got great body language, but as soon as you check your phone, you start shrinking back down into that victimization, low-power body language, which is interesting. But Nate, are there any specific strategies that you've taught with your kids on how to stay safe? There's various things. Just being aware of people around them that they don't know. Kind of the stuff that you had mentioned about if someone's gonna pick up my son from school, that person will have a password that my son and I have agreed upon. If someone wants them to go for a ride, the answer is absolutely no. Just simple things that a lot of people don't really think about, but hopefully they would never need to use those, but if they did, it's better to have discussed them and have the children be aware of them than to not. I know me growing up, we had a password. I know our mom would tell us in advance who was gonna pick us up, but I remember my mom also telling me that there were certain zones where people were allowed to touch, but if anyone crossed those zones or made me uncomfortable, I was supposed to tell her. And she told me, I remember her telling me this as a kid, that sometimes if someone did touch me, they would try to keep me from telling her by threatening me or threatening her, saying they could hurt her, like saying there would be consequences if I told. And my mother told me that in advance and told me that that was BS, not to believe it, that if anyone ever told me not to tell her something, that was a red flag, that that was actually really important to tell her. And I don't know why my mom was so concerned about safety, but I'm really grateful she was. I am so grateful she was, because when you look at the statistics, the world is a dangerous place to live. People are mugged, people are assaulted, people are robbed, people are raped, people are murdered. Like I said earlier, there are monsters in the world, and the only one who can be with you 100% of the time is you. So knowing what the dangers are, knowing what the statistics are for your area, knowing your strategies, I remember I was walking home from school once and there was a group of boys walking behind me and they weren't doing anything, but I was aware of the sense that I was outnumbered and alone. And so I started running through the system in my head, what can I do? What can I do to stay safe? If they start to surround me, what am I gonna do? Where are my pens? Do I have time to call the police? Well, nothing's happened yet, so I can't call the police, and if I call my parents, then I'm already half distracted in trying to explain what's going on. So I had to game through the system of what I should do before it ever happened. Is that a technique you ever teach your clients when it comes to situations where they would need to draw their weapon? Yes, absolutely. We would utilize that in every class and focus on that. Going through different scenarios. Okay, so you're at home, you're relaxed, you're watching TV and someone breaks through your front door, through a window. What are you gonna do? You're in your car, driving down the road and someone cuts you off and starts breaking in your car, what are you gonna do? Or your grocery carts, full of groceries, you're walking back to the car, your kid's in there, you're trying to buckle your kid in and you turn around and someone's got a knife. You have to go through those things in your mind first so that hopefully if heaven forbid that ever did happen, you've already processed through it and you kind of have some semblance of an idea of what to do next or what your options are instead of being caught totally off guard without any idea of what to do or what you can do. That makes sense. James, did you ever have to go through that training for the military or for the police? Yes, we actually have to go through various scenarios, but we also were instructed to go through those mental rehearsals all the time. As we're driving somewhere, as we're going somewhere to think, okay, what's the worst case scenario? What could happen? And you kind of, you just go through them, you conduct those mental rehearsals and it helps create solutions in your brain so that if something does happen, you already know what the answer is. You don't have to think about it, you can just react. I love that idea of looking for the worst case scenario. Actually, the first time I came here, I was meeting the executive producer and the sound guy alone. There was no one coming with me, no one was gonna be here, and I told my husband as he drove me, okay, worst case scenario, if I die, these are the names of the people who were there, these are the names of the people who did it. And so keeping that worst case scenario in your mind is incredibly important as if you can walk through that and have the power to be in control, then you're the hero of your own story. Thank you, Nate. Thank you, James, for being here. We are out of time, we're gonna have to wrap it up. You guys have been awesome. Thank you so much. Now if you as a viewer are thinking, you know, I would like to learn more about how to defend myself, maybe I want to learn how to carry a weapon. I want you to visit readytacticalllc.com. That's where you'll find Nate, Ready Tactical LLC. So I'm RB Kelly, body language boss and your host on Out of the Comfort Zone on the Think Tech live streaming network series. We've been talking with James and Nate Bowler from Ready Tactical LLC and the Las Vegas Metro Police Department in Las Vegas. You can reach out to Nate, readytacticalllc.com. Thank you for being here. Thank you for watching and thank you for listening. I know you've got an opinion on this and you can find me online, bodylanguageboss.com or you can find more live streaming shows at thinktechkawaii.com. So go ahead, check out thinktechkawaii.com. If you'd like to be a guest, if you'd like to sit in, go ahead, I'd love to see you. And if I'm not fired today, then you will see me not next week, but the Thursday after that for Out of the Comfort Zone on Think Tech. I'm RB Aloha everyone.