 In a world gripped by global pandemic, the brilliant scientists of the CDC are humanity's last hope. From now on, I'll be in charge. You've watched them in contagion and outbreak. Now see the CDC as you've never seen them before. Accurately. It's everyone. Yeah, that's been obvious for over a year. Hey, CDC, my company is making fast, accurate COVID test kits at very low cost. We need to shut you down. This thing's too hot. We can't risk it. Yeah. From the people who brought you contradictory mask guidance and told you to cook your prosciutto. The FDA has been sitting on the paperwork for an effective vaccine that's already approved in Europe. We're wasting time. I'm not. R2. About those test kits you guys developed, if they're difficult to use and they're wildly inaccurate. Any chance I could start mass producing my cheap and effective test kits now? No. Cool. What can the CDC provide to help sell the public on the lockdown? I want an army of experts citing hundreds and thousands of lab experiments telling any idiot with a camera that there was no other way. Yeah, sure. We can do that. No problem. Can you explain to me why the Centers for Disease Control is talking about gun violence? No. Are you concerned that the CDC faces a credibility issue here? Why would you think that we had any credibility to begin with? 2014, we told the nurse with Ebola that she could board a commercial flight from Cleveland to Dallas. The critics are raving about the biggest event of the season. Your website literally says, I'm quoting here, firearm violence is a serious public health that impacts the health and safety of Americans. So I guess my question is, do you employ copy editors over there? No. Why did you pause administration of the Johnson & Johnson vaccine? Because of six blood clot disorders out of seven million doses? That's less than one in a million. For lucky. That's how math works. Could you explain why your budget is 14 times bigger than it was a few decades ago and yet you were woefully unprepared for the one thing you were meant to do? No. We used data from a New York Times infographic that was inaccurate. It shouldn't be an issue. Okay, but we also published our own infographic with data that was not statistically significant. That's okay. I don't think it is. Now you want to tell people not to get vaccinated and that's the best chance they've got. I wrote on my blog. I think vaccines are great. I just think the mandates are counterproductive and clearly backfired. I could throw your computer in jail, I would. COVID-BA 2. This time, it's more of the same.