 The House of Squib presents Academy of War. Every week Squib brings you Hollywood's finest. The great picture plays, the great actors and actresses, techniques and skills chosen from the honor roll of those who have won or been nominated for, the famous Golden Oscar of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. And now, E.R. Squibbansons, manufacturing chemist of the medical profession since 1858, bring you, as our star tonight, the distinguished actor William Powell, who has twice been nominated for the Academy Award as Best Actor of the Year. You will hear Mr. Powell in that delightful comedy, My Man Godfrey, the picture which was nominated in six different classifications for the 1936 Academy Award. This is a story of the Depression, a sad time when America had a headache. Brokers jumped from tall buildings and a lot of folks sold apples on street corners. It was a very sad time indeed, in which the rich got richer and the poor got poorer. And now a poor hero lived in a shack in a city dump, yet his heart was pure, though his pockets were empty, and he wore a beard, and his name was Godfrey. George, what a horrible place. Yes, Cornelia, this is what is called the dump. Good evening. Are you a bum? Yes, I'm a bum. Good. I'm Cornelia Bullock. Oh, yes, yes indeed. Are the Bullocks? How would you like to make five dollars? Well, added to what I've got, that would make five dollars. All right, then follow me. Just a minute. Not that I mean to be inquisitive, but what would I have to do? Now, don't be fussy. Well, I'd like to know. I'm funny that way. Well, you certainly are. Well, we're having a scavenger hunt, and I need a forgotten man. All I want to do is show you to some people at the Waldorf, that's all. Show me to some people at the Waldorf. Are we dressing? Look, do you want the five dollars, or don't you? Madam, your offer is very intriguing. But I'm afraid I can't arrive at a decision myself. I'm afraid I'll have to take it up at the board of directors. And no matter what the board of directors advise, as far as I'm concerned, you can take your five dollars. I say you coward, hitting a lady. Oh, you. All right, I don't mind hitting a gentleman, either. Yes, Cornelia, I am. Come, we'll get a policeman. Hello? Hi, Myrene. That was my sister Cornelia you pushed into the ash heap. I wanted to do that all my life. Do you live here? Yes, my real estate agent found this place. He felt the altitude would help my asthma. I have an uncle who has asthma. Now, bring him down by all means. And look at the view. Of course, spring is a little late this year, but the ash cans are sprouting nicely. Yes, it is very nice, but I have to be going. Really, I've got to go back and see who won the game. I hope it wasn't Cornelia, but she is so lucky. So, if she gets there first with a forgotten man, she wins? Yes. Well, let's go. Oh, won't you? I mean, really? How wonderful. You know what I'm going to do for you? You... Godfrey is the name? Yes. Godfrey, if we win, I'm going to hire you as our family butler. Godfrey's a wonderful name for a butler, don't you think? Oh, naturally. Well, come on, don't forget your forgotten man. Pardon me, but I'm the new... The new butler. Oh, yes. I'm Molly the cook. Just hang your hat near the door so you can get it on your way out. Oh, but since you're here, why not go in and shave? The last butler left his shaving cream and razor in there. Thank you. You don't seem very enthusiastic about the Bullock family. Have you met them? I've met the daughters. The daughters, of course. Irene isn't so bad. She's just dumb. But I mean dumb. But Cornelia. Well, someday when I'm 60 and getting that 200 a month from the Townsend plan, I'm going to tell Cornelia some of the things that are on my mind. It'll be a very interesting monologue if I do say so myself. You intrigue me. Tell me more about the family, Molly. Well, there's the old battle axe. That would be Mrs. Bullock. Angelica, she calls herself. She rings every morning around 11. What do you do when she rings? Well, what I do is forget the whole thing. If you don't answer, she goes back to sleep until two. Then she gets up with a hangover. Oh, not just an ordinary one. She sees things. Very interesting. Is there a Mr. Bullock? Oh, yes, but don't pay any attention to him. Nobody else does, and the shock might kill him. That's her, the battle axe. Hey, what are you doing pouring three shots of brandy? I have an idea. Where's my butler's suit? In there. Well, what idea? Where is Angelica's room? Third floor, last room to the left. But if you're going up there, take your hat with you. Certainly not. No gentleman enters a lady's boudoir with his hat on. A good morning, madam. A reasonably nice morning, I think. Oh, this is one of the silliest dreams I ever had. And I'll be a good fellow and go away and haunt somebody else. But I can't go away, madam. I've got to stay, my duty. Who are you anyway? I'm the new butler. Oh, what became of the old one? Oh, he disappeared. It's a very sad story, very sad. Ah, but that's life. Look out! What's the matter? You nearly stepped on those three little men. Ah, but I'm careful. Look, I stepped right over them. So you did. Would you like them to go away, madam? Yes, but don't be rough with them. No, no. Just try one of these. Little brandies. Oh, what a beautiful idea. Now count your little men. Why? They're only two. You see, it was practically painless, wasn't it? Just like Novocaine, I didn't feel a thing. Do you think you could get rid of the other two? Same way. One at a time. Well, what do you know? All gone. You know something? I got a beautiful idea. Yes, madam. If I had another one of those, I could get rid of you, too. Well, that won't be necessary, madam. I was just going anyhow. Now I suppose you're going into Miss Irene's room. Yes. This is a very nice way of meeting the family. Well, here's the tray and watch your step. It's simple. Oh, Godfrey. Good morning, Miss. Oh, Godfrey, you shaved. And I loved your whiskers. They may grow back, you know. Shall I pour the coffee? Yes, Godfrey. Now we're going to have a nice long chat. I want to know what you think about everything. I'd love to, Miss, but I've really got to get straightened out a bit downstairs. You know how it is when you first move into a place. Oh, certainly. Why don't you go down and take a nice hot bath and a nap, and we can talk after lunch? Yes, I'll do that. I'll see you later, Miss. Goodbye. Well, well, good morning. Good morning, sir. My name is Bullock. Alexander Bullock. Yes, I know. And yours? Godfrey, sir. Glad to know you, Mr. Godfrey. I'd like to ask you a few questions if you don't mind. Why, all mean, sir. How do you feel about the younger generation? Why, I think they're all right. Of course, they're a little broad-minded. Well, you think perhaps they might be a little too broad-minded? How do you mean, sir? Well, if you were the father of a young lady and saw a man coming out of her room, how would you feel about it? Oh, but, but, but wait, sir. I'm not what you think. I'm the new butler. The new butler, don't make me laugh. I hire all the butlers around here. Your daughters hired me last night, sir, with your wife's approval. Excuse me, Mr. Bullock. But there's a policeman to see you. What does he want? He wants you to straighten out a bill for damages from Cartier. It seems like Miss Cornelia broke all their windows last night. Well, all right. Anything else, Molly? Yes, sir. That Mr. McGinty who drives the handsome cab is here. And what did Miss Cornelia do to McGinty? It was Miss Irene, sir. He wants his horse back. I never saw his horse. Beg pardon, sir. It's in the library. Preposterous. Not preposterous, sir. I think his name is Carrots. Godfrey, come here. Yes, Miss Cornelia? I seem to be under the impression that my sister has fallen in love with you. With me, Miss? Ridiculous, of course. Oh, Godfrey, there's a spot on my shoe. Would you mind? Not at all, Miss. I'll clean it in a hurry. Thank you. I'd rather like you better, kneeling, Godfrey. It shows that you accept the fact that there are two classes, the upper and lower. And when one of the lower class forgets himself, he's got to be taught a lesson. And I'm the girl who can teach him. I'll get busy on my other shoe. Certainly, Miss Cornelia. As you said, a servant should always be a servant. Oh, what's going on? Oh, nothing. I found a little spot on my shoe and Godfrey offered to clean it for me. That's all, Godfrey, and thank you so much. Not at all, Miss. Godfrey, you look positively handsome in that suit. Doesn't he, Cornelia? Oh, Godfrey's taste is excellent. Well, it's really my taste. I helped him pick it out, you know. Oh, did you? It wasn't that nice. That'll be all now, Godfrey. Thank you, Miss. You picked out Godfrey's suit. And what of it? Listen to me, Cornelia. You let me alone and you let Godfrey alone. And don't ask him to shine your shoes. He's a butler, not a boot black. I'm going to teach him a lesson. And I'm going to teach you a lesson. Did you ever get a good swift sock in the jaw? Why you... And here you are. Hello, darlings. Well, have you been talking things over? That's good. I'm so lucky to have two daughters who talk things over with each other. Yes, yes, indeed. Oh, you must not come into my room, Miss Irene. Why not? It's our house, isn't it? One room is like another. Godfrey. Yes, Miss? Aren't you going to kiss me? I don't approve of ladies kissing their butlers. That sounds very snobbish. Every morning you serve me breakfast in my room. Here I am now. Yes, and if anybody came in now, I'd be discharged. Why would they discharge you? Look, Miss Irene, hasn't your mother ever told you anything? About what? About things, any kind of things. No, mother never says anything. Haven't you noticed it? Well, your father must have talked to you. Oh, no. Father never talks to anybody. Then I'll do the talking. Don't I do any? You just listen. You gave me a job, and I appreciate it. And I want to keep it. But I want you to keep it, Godfrey. Well, then listen to me. The first thing you must do is to stay out of my room. I don't like this talk. Let's talk about something else. Oh, no. We're going to finish this. Now, one other thing you ought to do. You ought to get yourself engaged to one of those young men who come around. Oh, I am. They're announcing it tonight. But I don't like them. They're such awful nitwits. I like older men. Older men are dangerous. Why are they dangerous? A bit. Well, you just have to take my word for it. They're dangerous. And so are butlers. Keep away from them. Marry somebody of your own age, your own class, your own intelligence. But if I marry somebody with my own intelligence, how about the children? They'll be morons, won't they? Well, not necessarily. You can't tell. Yes, you can. Just don't care. That's all. All right, then. I'll go and marry one of those nitwits. And I'm going to have a lot of children and all the morons. And I'll tell everybody it's your fault. Whenever in real life you happen to find yourself in a situation totally strange, you can always count on a bright winning smile to help you make the friends you need. And a smile that's hard to resist is easy to cultivate when you brush your teeth with squib dental cream, the refreshing dental cream. It's such a pleasure to use. Your whole mouth awakens to a frosty tang of mint, exhilarating as a fresh October wind from the sea. You'll enjoy the brisk mouth refreshing action of squib dental cream, and watch that smile. See how much of its natural sparkle is revealed when you use squib dental cream regularly. That's because the polishing agent in squib dental cream is one of the most effective known to dental science. Safe, soft, and fine. So if you want your smile to do more for you, do more for your smile. Start tomorrow to brush your teeth with squib dental cream, one of the great family of squib products. Taste, feel, and see the refreshing difference. In a moment, we will bring you part two of My Man Godfrey. Universal International's current release is The Dark Mirror, starring Olivia DeHavilland. And now the House of Squib presents part two of Academy Award, starring William Powell in My Man Godfrey. Nice engagement. Party, sister dear. And what's it to you? Not a thing. But I do think you could get yourself a man to dance with out of all this crowd. I could if I wanted to. I notice you're not very effective with butlers. Cocktails, miss? Yes, thanks. Do have one, Irene. Godfrey makes these himself. Didn't you, Godfrey? Yes, miss. Yes. I wouldn't be surprised if mine were poisoned. Excuse me, miss, other guests. I wish mine were poisoned. You know, Cornelia, it's too bad you and I didn't live in the days of the boyishers. When it wasn't against the law to poison your sister. If we'd been living in those days, Irene, you would never have lived as long as you have. To your good health. I hope you choke. That's Tommy Gray, the polo player. I didn't know he was in town. Oh, girls, look who's here. Ah, the Bullock Beauties. When did you get in, Tommy? Tommy himself. Cocktail, madam? Dear Godfrey, surely even you must have heard of Tommy. Why, he's one of the biggest polo players in the world. He goes around in the 70s. Very interesting, madam. Tommy, boy, so nice to see you. So nice to be here, Angelica. Godfrey, come back here, offer Tommy a cocktail. Yes, madam. Cocktail, sir? Hey, yeah. For heaven's sake, Godfrey. Godfrey Park? Smiths, Godfrey Smith. And no cracks. Oh, good old Godfrey. What's a racket? No racket. Butler. Oh, well, thank you, Godfrey. What butler? Nicholas Murray butler? Why, Tommy, do you know Godfrey? Why, do I know him? He was with me for three years. And hey, yeah. I beg your pardon, sir. Did I step on you? No, no. My fault. Oh, interesting. You were saying, Tommy, Godfrey was with you for three years. Oh, yes, miss, three years as his valet. Yes, yes, thanks. Once tomorrow? Yes, the Harvard Club. You mean Godfrey was a valet? He never told me. Naturally. Why did you let him go, Tommy? Oh, why, he, I... He didn't want me to go, miss. No, no, of course not. But I insisted. I decided that my five children came first. You mean you were married? Yes, miss Irene. Five little children. Oh! Well, catch her, somebody. Irene's fainted. I think father had better announce her engagement before she comes, too. Godfrey, tell the band to play boots and saddles or something to attract attention. Very well, miss. I shall so inform them. Now, now would you mind telling me what the idea is if you're pretending to be Smith and acting as a servant in a nut house? What's the gag? It isn't a gag, Tommy. Well, your family up in Boston tells everybody you're in South America. Doing fine like all the parks since the Mayflower brought them over. Well, I lost everything in the market crash. Then I had another smash up with a girl. One night I find myself wandering in a daze down near the river. I think I must have meant to slide into it. Then I saw the dump, the shacks with guys living in them. And it suddenly struck me that they were worse off than I was. Well, I decided to share potluck with them. I built my own shack and joined up. And for the first time in my life, I began to live. Sounds awful to me. I used to sit on the dock at night and look at the stars and the pattern of the Queens were abridged against the sky and the boats going by. It was beautiful there at night. And the daytime, it's horrible. And then something happened. And I saw a chance to rehabilitate myself. I took it. Holy smoke, some rehabilitation. Wait, it's not over yet. I may have to rehabilitate the whole family. And then I'm going to do something for the guys down on that city dump. They need rehabilitating, too. Now, just say the word. You can have half of everything I've got. Thanks, Tommy, not this time. I'll have to play this one out alone. For land's sake, Miss Irene, what are you sewing? It's his. Oh, yes, it is his. Do you sew on his buttons? Sometimes. No, I will sew on his buttons. I wonder what he does on his day off. He never tells me. Does he like flowers? I don't know. I brought him some. There they are. Would you put them in his room? I'm not allowed to go in there. I'm not either. You'll be coming in the kitchen way any minute. He's probably sitting with some woman on his lap. I hate him. He's very mean. He is mean, isn't he? He's a meanest man I know of. I think he's very mean. When I got engaged, he congratulated me. That's just like him. And there he is with someone sitting on his knee and his five children crawling all over him. Good evening, Miss Irene. Well, what's the matter with her, Molly? Well, what in the name of welcome home? All right, all right. When did you first miss the pearl? During dinner, officer. I went to my room and they were gone. Did you see anyone into your room in the meantime? Yes, officer. God pray. I sent him to my room for a pair of slippers. He returned with the slippers and went at once to his quarters. Mind if we search your room? Not at all. Well, come on. In here. Mother, this is serious. Well, of course, dear. Stealing is always serious when you get caught. My sister's a little nuts, officer. One night she threw those pearls out of a cab window. I never did. Come, officer, you haven't looked in his bureau. Who's doing the searching around here? Oh, now can't we stop all this? After all, they're insured. Like fun they are. I've been trying for two weeks to tell this family I can't afford cash for things like that. Look, lady, what made you so dead certain your pearls would be in this guy's bureau? Officer, officer, it was just a natural misunderstanding, I'm sure. Good night, gentlemen. Now listen to me. I've got a story for you that'll perhaps interest you all. The bullocks are broke. Dead broke. Not a cent. Not only that, but I've been using the company's money for the last month to speculate with. And I've lost. Do you hear that? I've lost. That means I'm an embezzler and I will have to go to jail. Alexander, I think it was very foolish of you to embezzle. Well, you'll be living on their ash pile where you pick Godfrey up. Maybe Godfrey will be nice to you and let you live with him. Oh, yes. Yes, how wonderful. You had no right to embezzle. You let him alone. You don't pick on anybody when anybody's down. Oh, good, Samaritan. Hey, what do you think you're going to do? Put you on the note. Children, children, I don't think this is a time to play silly games. Your father's in the middle of a serious discussion. Coffee has served, madam. Oh, Godfrey, Mr. Bullock has to go to jail. Madam, I'm sure Mr. Bullock doesn't have to go to jail. Oh, yes, I do. Godfrey, I've been embezzling. I'm sure that'll shock you. No, it doesn't shock me, sir, because I've been pretty sure that your affairs weren't in good shape. Obviously, you've been under a terrific strain. Boy, I didn't notice anything. Well, now, as it happens, before I went on the ash pile, I had some experience on the stock market. Yesterday, I decided to sell short on bullocks. Sell what? Sell short. Shorts? Men's underwear? Well, I made quite a lot of money. I felt I owed this family something for taking me in. I used the money to buy back the bullock stock at half of what I sold it for. And here, Mr. Bullock, are your stock certificates? Godfrey, you shouldn't have done this. Don't you realize what it means? What does it mean? It means I don't have to go to jail. It means we all stay on here. It means that I stay on living with this gang of parasites instead of spending my declining years in a nice, cozy cell. I thought you were my friend, Godfrey. Where in the world did you get the money? From these. Cornelius Pearls. My pearls? I thought you didn't take the pearls. You knew I didn't. You planted them in my room and sent for the police. I found them in time and took them out, pawned them, and with the money I opened the stock account. So you see, after all, the pearls saved the day. You're really very decent, Godfrey, when you consider all the things I did to you. I'll try to make it up to you someday. Oh, no, you won't. I'll do the making up. Godfrey, you're a better man than any of us. Us, sir? Thank you, sir. Godfrey, you wait for me. Where do you think you're going? Back to the dump. Godfrey, you may have made the rest of the family rich again, but I'm still poor. Yes, miss? And I've been practicing sewing buttons on. I'm the best button sewer honor in New York. And I like dumps. Why'd I rather live with you on a dump than this family in a palace? Miss Irene, I'm sorry, but I have many things to do, things like rehabilitating a lot of forgotten men. Naturally, and we're going to start with you. I've got a license and a ring. What? And some cans of beans and my sewing box. Well, I'll be married. Oh, please, Godfrey, I don't want to have a lot of little more on. What do you want? You? Five little Godfrey? Well, all right, come along. But miss Irene? Yes, Godfrey. Please, darling, don't forget any of your buttons. You may not think of the corner drugstore near your home as a very dramatic place, and yet there is a man in that store who may be preparing right at this very moment a prescription that will help to save a life before morning. That man is your drugist, your pharmacist, a highly skilled man of science professionally trained to translate the Latin of a doctor's prescription into safe, effective medicines for your use. Years of study have gone into the development of his special skills, skills which enable him to split a single drop, to measure powerful drugs in quantity so minute a feather would outweigh them. On your pharmacist shelves are many squid products used in compounding prescriptions. He displays others on the shelves and counters of his store, for he knows that on life-saving drugs and simple home health essentials alike, the name squid means this product is just as safe, pure and effective as medical science can make it. So always be sure to get squib quality when you buy. Ask for squib, a name you can trust. Next Wednesday, another great picture. The House of Squib will present Academy Awards starring Eddie Bracken with Anne Blythe in It Happened Tomorrow. Today's performance of My Man Godfrey was written for radio by Frank Wilson with an original musical score composed and conducted by Leith Stevens. Our producer director is D. Engelbach. William Powell appeared tonight by arrangement with Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer producers of Three Wise Pools. This is Hugh Brundage fitting you goodnight until next Wednesday at the same time when you're invited to listen again to Academy Award presented by The House of Squib. A name you can trust. This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.