 Hey everyone, I hope you're all well. Welcome back to my channel. If you're new here, my name is Cephi and today I'm joined by my lovely mom. Thank you very much for inviting me. So we wanted to film a fun video for you guys. Today is Valentine's Day. When this video is released, you might watch it. Not on Valentine's Day, but it made me think that I might as well delve into the talk about love, romance and dating. And who better to ask than someone who has been married for 40 years? It's nearly 41, but it's 40 years. Yeah, nearly 41 years. So I thought why not ask my mom. I've done this before with my dad where I ask him, you guys is dating dilemmas. And he's quite funny and he's quite brutal and like honest. Whereas my mom is, I think, a bit more romantic, right? Definitely, I'm a romantic person. Yeah, so I'm going to be asking my mom just a few questions and we're going to be chatting to you guys all about all things to do with dating. Dating now versus when my mom was my age and the differences between here and Iran. So without further ado, we're going to get into the conversation. Please give this video a huge thumbs up to say thank you for my mom for joining and I really do hope that you enjoy this style of video. So, mom, the first thing I wanted to ask you is what do you think is the main difference now between dating when you were my age, 25, versus now that I'm 25? There are two things in here. One depends their family. Some people are still having the same culture and they continue the same culture, you couldn't say that. And some people, on that time, they continue this culture. Okay, so that's why they have two types and they have to speak about two types. Okay, so what do you mean? I mean, for example, on my time, if you ask a lot of people, they go and it's arranged wedding. Okay, so arranged wedding, you're jumping right into arranged. So what do you mean by arranged? Because even in the Middle East, we have different ideas across the Middle East and across Asia and even different cultures of what arranged is. So can you explain to everyone what an arranged marriage would be in Iran? Arranged marriage is like family or friends or somebody they introduce someone to your family or your daughter and you have to, they have to pass all the exam like, for example, parents, they like it, they like their family, they don't like, is it educated or is not, is it working or not? What my mother's kind of trying to get the gist at is that in Iran, it's not an arranged marriage per se, but more of an introduction. So like they will, when someone has a son that wants to get married, the mum will usually ask around and say, hey, do you know anyone who has any daughters who wants to get married because my son wants to get married. And the families meet, the son and the daughter meet and if they get along, then they can discuss further about, like they'll maybe go on a few dates, like they could be supervised, they could be unsupervised and if they like each other, they could go on to get married. And sometimes it is families arrangement. Yeah, but I think what my mum was also trying to say at the start was that not everyone, what is this tradition? You know, some people, including my mum, met my dad like through a coincidence, which I have a whole other video of how they met, I'll link it in the description, which has had over 100,000 views. Did you hear that? Loads of people love your love story. So yeah, my mum and dad is a love story, but even when they met, my mum told my dad, you know, you have to come and meet my family and you know, we have to do what we call the Khasegari, which is like the proposal where you come with your family and we discuss all these things like your background, my background. It's not just I said, he knew. He knew and everybody they knew and his family they knew they have to do this. This is a culture in Iran. Yeah. But what do you think is the difference now? Okay, so let's go back to my first question. Do you think is the main difference now for me dating or meeting someone versus you? Do you think it's easier? Do you think it's harder when you were my age? I think for me, I think I don't think so is that much different because these days a lot of people, they look at internet and they choose what they want and they look at them exactly the same. They look at educated, they look at family, they look at job. That's very true. You know, I thought you were going to say it's so different because you have the internet, but your wife is actually actually exactly the same. And people, they're looking at internet and if yes, it's good boy, good job. Of course they click and they go and have a look. It's not. They said, okay, go stay in queue. It's nothing different. And what do you think is a good age to start dating? I think they shouldn't start very early because a lot of things. First, if you start very early, your mind always is in love mind. And always you think about that and you don't think about business or educated or another different things in life. This is my opinion. I think you shouldn't, it's not you generally. Okay, but what do you think is a good age? I think a good age is after 18. Okay, after 18. So mum, do you see any similarities when you hear, let's say our dating stories or dating stories on the TV, etc. Versus your time when you're friends or whoever used to go on dates? Was there anything that you hear that you're like, oh my God, we don't do that? Or you actually used to do? Or how did people used to meet? Because now, yeah, we can go out to bars and clubs and meet people. We have the internet now, like you said. We can be introduced through friends, but how is it like these guys? Because obviously, in your time, you didn't have the internet as a form of meeting people. So what was it like? It's so funny if I tell you. Yes, for example, a boy passing with his car in front of your car, and just he starts holding it. This means he loves you. There's a lot of boys who love me in central London. It's exactly like that. And after they start following you. You know, if they did that, now they'd get arrested. But I think in Iran, probably, it still is the same. Yeah, in Iran, one of the things I saw as well is they go door to door, where they go around, driving around in a certain area. And they come and follow you with just cars. And the cars will follow each other, slow down next to each other and pass numbers and stuff. And then what about if you were to go out on a date? Where would you go for a date? But on that time, no, people couldn't go for dates like that. If they go for a date, they have to hide in the car like this. I saw a lot of girls sitting in the car like this. Oh, my uncle, my uncle. So you couldn't go on dates really? No, they couldn't go like that. Because it would be frowned upon? Would it be frowned upon? People would look at you like you shouldn't be on a date, you know? Yes. And I don't know what they think in the end, how you want to marry. They act, they are very educated. And all the time when they sit and talk and they said, okay, you have to know each other. How they have to know each other? They couldn't sit next to each other. They have to hide in the car like this. Each other, how they can talk. In the end, I think most of them are very happy to be honest. Yes, I saw a lot of people. The ones who used to hide in their dates? I do think we still get that now. Obviously, like you said as well, it depends on families, what cultures are like. And also the individual person, if they want to adopt the culture and stuff. I would say I'm very modern, but I'm also very traditional at the same time. So for example, me being modern, one of the things I'm really lucky about is my parents are really open to who I want to date. They don't mind, for example, what they do for work, where they come from, what kind of lifestyle they live. That doesn't really bother them. What bothers them more, I would say, and what my mum and dad really care about is someone who's really hard working and determined. Because it's not nice to struggle in your life. I think that's one of the things that you always tell me. You're the most lazy people. I'm not talking about you. I know, but not just lazy, and you're right, you are talking about me because I really find it really unattractive if a guy doesn't have a drive or a job. I've been on a date before with a guy who's from a really successful family and honestly, he could probably buy you the whole world if you wanted. But when we sit and talk, there's nothing in common. He'll be like, how was your day? And I was like, oh yeah, just was at med school. And then afterwards I went to a workout class and now I'm going to come home and study and then have dinner with my family and I'd be like to him, how was your day? He was like, yeah, so I watched Netflix. And then I took the dog for a walk and then I came back and watched some more Netflix. And I'm just like, you don't have something in common. There's no drive and there's no passion. The only thing is important. When they answer to you what they did, you have to listen carefully because this is your future life. Yeah, it's true. And if you want, okay, if you want just to go and be a dog or watch Netflix, okay, it's fine. But after you couldn't say, no, I didn't know your advice. You have to listen carefully what you say. Let's say for example, a boy and a girl get in a relationship and they've been serious, they've been together for like a year. They introduce each other to each other's family. But then they might realize, the girl might realize, oh, he's not actually the one for me or the guy might realize he's not actually the one for me. Do you think don't care about anybody? Yes, don't care about what people they're saying. This is your life and you have only one life and you have to decide that never is not late. You have to, you have to care about your life. The one thing my dad always says is like, he's like, you could be like 99 and if your husband is annoying you, you best divorce him. He's like, because if you waste one minute of your day unhappy, then you know, that's not good enough. So obviously he doesn't mean literally like the guy annoys you and divorce him, but like he means if in general your relationship is not making you happy, then stay in that relationship. This is not, I push people to go for divorce, you know. And small things, you couldn't decide that about, it's more things, something he said like that. Oh, okay, finish. Yeah. No. You have to think proper. Here's another controversial one. Again, being Iranian, I think I have half of my friends who do and half of my friends who don't. What do you think about people who, they have a boyfriend or a girlfriend and they've been, they're quite serious. They've been together let's say six months. Do you think you should post pictures online that you're a couple? Yes. Yeah? You don't think there's anything wrong with that? No, why? Yeah. Because if you don't want it in the end, you want answer to who? But what if you break up and then there's someone else? Who cares? I like that mentality. It's true because I think what you are, like what I would say you're like quite progressive and open-minded about is the fact that actually a lot of people have, you have to date people to know what you like and what you don't like and who you want to be with and up with and what kind of person you want. So of course you won't have just dated one person. No. So you know, at the end of the day, who cares if people know that you've dated more than one person? Exactly. I like this. It's look like people they haven't, in that time in Iran, they have a lot of gossip. Yeah. Another thing that I want to know about like, let's say your friends and you guys, whatever, when you were my age is, if a guy did take you out on a date, yeah, would you ever offer to pay and would you ever split the bill? If I split the bill? Straight away, don't go again. It's my opinion. Why? Because he cares about the money and in the end, your life is not one life. You are not together like that. But if you're together, then why can't you pay half and he pays half? No, no, no. Life shouldn't be like that because all is one back. Okay. And all of it is the first date. How do you know if you're going to spend your whole life together? Still, boy like that, I don't like. It's not I love money. No, I don't like that personality. Probably it's Iranian culture. Iranian culture, ladies shouldn't spend the money. Not spend the money. Ladies should sit and men they pay. When men is somewhere, ladies they shouldn't offer. It's not nice. So like my mom said, obviously like this is just her opinion. So I don't want you guys to like take it personally. This is just what she thinks. So we've spoken a lot about dating, getting to know someone, and obviously you speak a lot about listening to the person and seeing what their life would be like and your life with them. But what if the guy is telling you an absolute lie? So we recently watched Tinder Swindler. Yeah? Where were you? Okay, I'm going to chat with you. Oh, yes. I'm going to chat with you. Okay. What do you think of that whole situation? Do you think the girls should have known better? Do you think they should have looked into him more? Or do you think they looked into him too much? They care about the wrong things. What do you think? Like that guy, like that, I think my opinion, you should understand that people like that and they do a lot for you. They want something. Definitely they want something. You mean like they do a lot for you without knowing you well? Exactly. Okay. And if they continue, because a lot of them, they continue because they want with time, you trust them. And if they continue like six months and after they want something from you, they still don't trust them. But what you're saying is that you should never trust anyone? No, you shouldn't trust someone for six months. No. If they ask you for money or something like that, you're talking about that chore. Yeah, I know. But let's say people don't know if they meet someone who is like the guy from that show. Yes, that was very easy. You are very rich. Go and ask your dad. That is very easy. That is not giving you money. Did you explain about it? Very few of you guys haven't watched this. Because a lot of people, they didn't watch that video. You're so tender, swindler, as a bow guy, you pretend. If he has an aeroplane or if he has that much money, he has a sister, he has a brother, why he should come and ask for first thing, from the people they're dating to get there. You have to hide from that people. You haven't got money. Not your show and tell him, tell her, okay, give it to me some money. You know how much money I had. Why do you think the girls gave him money? She trusts him for nothing. I don't know. Because girls are looking for him for wrong reasons. Because she thought he's rich and he's shy to ask other people like that. I don't know. And what he wants to do? Probably he's saying, okay, you are not honest with me. You don't share your life with me. You don't share your small money with me. And he wants to wash your brain. And he says, okay, I'm going. And definitely he's going because you're not something for her. And if he's gone, you're lucky. Yes, don't trust anybody, darling. Don't trust. If somebody they want live, let him live. Don't make yourself criss-go inside of her, his heart. Don't crease yourself, trying to squeeze yourself into someone's heart. Exactly. Oh, very nice. Thank you. I think that's a pretty quote to end this video on. I hope that you guys enjoyed this video. If you did, then don't forget to give it a thumbs up and subscribe to my channel by pressing the red button. I will see you in my next video. Thank you again, mommy. Thank you very much, darling. Just my last word. If somebody they want live, you let him live. Don't worry. You're lucky. Because if he wants you, definitely he's not doing that. And that is the final words of a dating advice video. Okay, I'll see you guys next time. Bye. Bye.