 Flicks a glass shards up into a face and slam the brakes on so I had smashed into the dash That's just good Being wrong yeah Episode number 17. We're better. We're not sick anymore. We're healthy now and George Floyd is dead Yeah, shit We've been we've been tossed on whether to talk about this personally. I don't really know like enough about it But and but that fucking cop is So clearly a fucking piece of shit hands in his pockets Hands in his pockets while he's doing it. What's it? What's he doing? He's kneeling on him And he's not only is he kneeling on his neck his hands in his pocket like he's like casually like he's so condescending Yeah, well, that's like I didn't know about the hands in the car that's ruined it for me So if if he like will definitely say something if he doesn't get life in prison or at least killed Then yeah, justice has not been served if this fucker gets fucked up Then it'll deter other cops hopefully from doing shit like that in the future and that's all we're gonna say about it. Look look There's lots of shit going on all over the world every day in all these different countries. You're a pick your battles And we'll pick our battles with science Michael's really overdone his makeup today No, I did it just before we got on because I wanted to overdo it so it stands out more foundation. You can see it's in the hair Foundation No, you put foundation on your face ten days sober Yeah, we've gone in a bit of a health kick I got really sick after a birthday party last week and I'm still recovering just like fucked so sick and just Nauseous and just oh man. It's been hell. It's been fucking hell. So yeah, it's time It's time to start getting healthier and just to cut back on the shit and it's just coincided with all these restrictions lifting So that's probably Partly to do with that. We were just locked inside. Yeah, it was just a gym fucking went Yeah, like health has just gone out the window and then mental health follows very quickly after my god It's time to fucking I was hearing voices. Yeah, so it's just it's time to just fucking cut back It's time to get healthy and and like make a real lifestyle change. Do you know what I mean? I'm getting into poetry Michael started doing his slam poetry. It's very interesting. Give him any topic and he'll start a poetry about it Give me one for Four four four think about that four so if f o r I got it f o you are and then the number four It's fucking crazy, dude Fucking clap, please So, yeah fucking the world's gone absolutely nut bag that um, hey, let's do room for comedy Let's just have a bit of a laugh and fucking forget about the troubles or our troubles the troubles of your days and Which brings us to our fucking segment and ma has been very controversial this week You cheeky boy. I was like my man. What you want me to read these and he was a yeah Yeah, and I definitely read them. They're 100% true And I was like man I don't know any cut me off and said might he just read them and yet tears running down his face because he's been up for like 14 hours Researching researching research each day leading up to it. I reckon you don't have to fucking just cram it in the day before It's not good time management It's not good research man on this day in 1954 Marilyn Monroe burnt her scalp when a mate way to drop a hot pizza on her fucking head She glued hay onto the burnt part of her head and that's why her hair looked like that fucking Marilyn Monroe's hair wasn't even hair is she dead Yeah, she died she was fucked to death by a basketball team That's a bad way to get that's not a nice way to go. Let's leave it at that He's new haircut. Yeah, the fucking barber made me look like I'm bloody in the army corporal Gave me a buzz cut. I was just too polite was talking heaps and cutting away and I was like in my head I was like fuck stop dude. Yeah, he just kept cutting and cutting and now I look like that's the problem with hairdressers as well You've got to be so nice when they fuck it up. You can't be like, yeah. No, it's not good enough Yeah, because then you're insulting their work. That's why I've had the same hairdresser on this day in 2001 Keanu Reeves went to the doctor complaining of hard objects in his testicles An x-ray revealed that he had squished coins into his testicles So hard that they broke through the skin and are now is sit inside when question about it He got embarrassed and ran away. Fuck on this day in 1991 Michael J fox accidentally tossed off an old man When he fell asleep with his hand resting on the old man's lap No He didn't have that. Oh, well, that's not what matt from hall from research says whoa statisticians On this day in 1987 Freddie Mercury saved a family from a burning car by using his large front teeth to dig into the vehicle Once the hole was big enough He fed his chest hair through for the family members to grab a hole over and he pulled them to safety That's fucking well done. That's well fucking done. Freddie. God bless you, mate. You fucking good All right, that is the end of uh AIDS Died from AIDS All right, moving on to the next segment which which has been named which has been renamed And this of course is a segment where we just answer questions that you guys have sent in via Instagram and send your dms in to our main marty and michael account We get lots of comments all the time. Oh, where are we seeing my questions? Where am I? Oh Who where is it send them to instagram at marty and michael.com? We can't guarantee to get through all of them because we get a lot of them But hey, you just keep letting trying your like every Tuesday. You never know. You'll like you might be your lucky chance to be the winner one day Oh, that was so cute God look, we're running a competition for our mobile game app Or you got to do to enter there's like seven prizes that we're giving out And it's a month long competition All you got to do to enter is download our game marty and michael catch me on android or iphone And um buy the new map where there's a new map It's like two or three dollars buy the new map and then Yeah, and then you're in the running to win all of these crazy amazing prizes It's unreal. What are some of the prizes again? You can get a shout out. You get a $500 giveaway Is it three three people get a $500 giveaway? There's lifetime memberships to the website. There's a video message from us There's bloody Accepting it will be your friend on facebook for five people will fucking all this random shit. Hey, just go check you I guess they can't really see it anywhere. Yeah, what do we where do they go? Just download the fucking game Yeah, just download the game. All right download the game and start playing. All right Just fucking play our game And also this is a podcast also sponsored by the university of marco our website um And if you want to support this podcast go and become a member there Um, and you can see all the content you get 14 days for free. Did you know that? No, I don't think you did because we never talk about it that much only every fucking day How many it's like hours and hours if unseen there's like 15 over like 15 hours of shit on there now It's fucking nuts like you could spend nearly a whole day just from 12 from midnight to midnight watching our shit. That would be a good binge watch day. That's here Show your face. It's because i'm embarrassed about my face No, it's your hair your new crew cut. No, i'm embarrassed about my hair too. No, it looks cute So go and sign up to the website. Uh, there's fucking some funny shit on there They're really some we love doing the website videos more than social media videos because there's no rules Okay, there we set it. All right, we filmed our funniest one the other day Yeah, do a child a children's punishments really effective Very good. Fuck. We bought some outfits. It got weird Bit of a like a sexual under time to it. Yeah, it was sort of like an only fans but without penetration without any without sex at all Really? Yeah, no nudity. Yeah All right now let's get into the fucking questions. This is from Jill Graham. Jill Graham All right, would you fucking this one's for me? Would you fucking go who is missing both legs and both arms? If she had a really sweet personality, yeah, that's what I was gonna say. Fuck you beat me to my line If look if she had a you were not gonna say that you would have said something like oh, yeah, fuck you Of course, what fucking fuck it with no arms my legs even if she didn't fucking wanted or would that's what you were gonna say But yeah, if she was like really friendly and like we'd been getting along and dating for a while If there was a fair few dates like and dinner Maybe if she like yeah, and if she had the same values as me She's like a Christian like she went to church on Sundays. Obviously, it's still a virgin Yeah, all of those she had a good family like she has to have a good upbringing Yeah, and has to have minimum 20k in the bank Yeah, I'll make sure she can like keep make sure she can fund your drug habit Yeah, because there you can't there's not much to do there's not much to do with a person Like that. Yeah, she'd have to take care of you. It's not really it's you're you're dating a torso Yeah At what point does it stop being a human and start becoming a torso? They're the same thing humans have torso. You could practice CPR on them because you know like the CPR dolls don't have any legs or arms Like you could really throw them around. Yeah. Wow, they'd be quite light Yeah, I'm like compact too. You could like swing them around the room by the hair And it's standing in a circle What's it called hematronic Into the ceiling fan Imagine the fucking domestics with her Question for Marty. How much would it take for you to flash your dick to a playground full of kids? Oh Fuck It'd be hard now like the position where I'm in life now and it'll take like it'll take at least 10 grand No, I'd be back in the day a bit more desperate Look, I'll probably would have done it for a fucking happy meal gum a pineapple cheeky pineapple But um, yeah, it's probably not worth the risk now seven bars of gold. I'll do it for seven bars of gold Send them in the po box and I'll film I'll do it to blind kids though Yeah, that's not the way everyone wins. Yeah, I get the goal the kids stay innocent Everyone wins and my cocks out. All right. This one's from Stay Wild America You're walking in the woods by yourself in stubble upon your high school crush laying freshly dead on the trail Zero percent Percent chance you'll get caught. Would you lift her shirt up to see what her tits look like? Oh, come on. Come on Of course you would anyone who says otherwise is lying Of course you had to you'd bloody have a bit of a play with it. Oh giggly Of course you don't have a bit of a play with a bloody body. Of course you would anyone would Play a bit of a puppet try a couple of ropes to the hands and have a dance have a dance with her And talk to her about how much better you're doing in life now and that she should have stayed with you You should have stayed with me now look at you You're nothing now anger out because she broke up with you when you're a kid and you're all Hell bent on it and then you can grab her by the hair and hammer throw her into the treetops And I'm gonna be on your way Austin rose Podcast question after you take a shit. Do you wipe between your legs or wrap around to wipe My stepfather walked in on me while I was tossing one off. Did I stop? No, I looked him in the eyes and finished like a ringworm Podcast question you a fan of metallica. All right, so I'll answer the first one So I wipe from um From out to the back. Is that how you say it you go around? Yeah and fold Michael Michael fucking goes in between his legs and and um, just balls the toilet paper up and just shoves the ball of toilet paper Up his ass. No, it just disintegrates in there. Matt goes like this. He said with sandpaper and gets all like, yeah I find if you go if you wipe once because if you wipe back then you're putting more shit on your ass It's what you gotta cut it off If you ball a fucking bit of toilet paper, shove it up your ass Just leave it up there till the next time you need to shit and the next time you need to shoot You just shit the last toilet paper out and the fresh shit and then just put a new plug up there Works quite well. Uh, are you a fan of metallica? If so, what's your favorite song? Yeah, I like don't might obviously the fucking Sandman's alright. Yeah, I don't really listen to metallica. I don't mind him. All right. Next question is from BL Boudoir, would you rather never be able to come again or have the feeling you have to shit for the rest of your life? Yes, I've got to go disco dancing. Yes. Yes. Yes Probably never be able to come Because I would hate to you know everyone when you need a shit you need a shit And if you can't get that feeling to go away, I'd be so frustrated and never pinching a load off anymore But like so would you need feel like you need to shit after you take a shit? And like how bad is the urge to shit like is it if it's really bad? You wouldn't be able to sleep Yeah, if it's really bad, I'd pick the coming but if it's like it's just Oh, I need to shit in maybe 20 minutes like who's ever been there where you're driving and there's no toilet I had these heaps because I was uber driving you have to get out I've gotten out and I've had to shit just shit on the ground sometimes though The the if you can just have that feeling but because it sucks because you have to strain to keep the shit in If there's no actual shit in there and you can just relax it might not be that bad Yeah, well if you can just I feel like shitting and then just relax your asshole What about it's always going to be that feeling so then eventually shit will build up So you'll just be relaxing it and you have to wear that you be shitting yourself heaps It'd be impossible to fix Anyway, yeah, I'd probably go I can never come again All right next question from benny hodge underscore benny and the jets underscore Would you rather performing the first 95 of a blowjob or the last five percent? Last five percent includes load That depends how long the blowjob is in so far depends how long the blowjob is in total if it's 10 minutes I'd probably go the Eight minutes, dude, it'd be hard to take a fucking salty load onto the lips Oh, yeah hot sticky chunk It's all hard Feel the sperm wriggling Yeah, look, I'd probably suck for the first 95 of it I reckon fuck dude if it's a Probably the last five because you know if it's last five percent you have to swallow Yeah, well, you just have to take the load in your mouth. I guess you can spit it out on their face I've eaten dog shit. I'd take come easy. Yeah, but then you you have a chance of um getting uh diseases if you take the load Really? I think oh, you probably have a chance again that if you if you're sucking the cock clean off anyway Yeah It's a very juicy nor I'd probably go the last five percent Falling around the mouth Big cock pressing against the cheeks The inner cheek Oh fucking hell next question is from d underscore nammal Dearest Marty and Michael how often will Jackson and gust Connor be streaming with you on twitch? Well, when fucking have we spoken about twitch yet? Oh, yeah By the way by the fucking way night you guys uh, so you guys listen to the podcast usually on monday nights So this is when this comes out on Tuesday nights from 6 30 to 8 30 p.m Brisbane australian eastern standard time We will be twitch streaming for two hours every fucking Tuesday All right every fucking Tuesday and that just so happens to be we film the podcast on a Tuesday So it's right after this. We're gonna fucking have some weed oil and go in game Game i'm just gonna fucking abuse everyone that we play. I'm quite good at multiplayer. Yeah, so it's like It's good shit to watch so fucking Marty Michael is our twitch thing Anyway, uh, yeah, we got a way for Jackson to come back from America first if we can twitch with him But yeah, Tony hawks when he comes back. Oh the battles me and Jackson are gonna. Yeah, like it gets fucking crazy He broke like 20 PlayStation two controllers and three neighbors moved out when he was when they were playing each other Oh, he was so loud. Yeah, we're and yeah, we broke some things and yeah conna Of course we'll be uh, we're getting him on out on our twitch streams, too I do remember the control breaking and you you were calling cash converters to try and find We literally there was there was sold out in brisbane. We couldn't get any more playstation two controllers. Jackson had broken them all Yeah, it was fucked up. We went through so many We kept going back each every few days one time we bought like four in reserve and he just started breaking them after every loss Sometimes he'd just be doing badly in one. We're still winning But would make a mistake a small mistake But still be way ahead and twist the controller in here to start cracking a little bit Like chinese burn them to death bang gone It's a split moment where he's just in so much rage Go on we can't play any more jackson because you fucking broken all the control Oh good time Has asked has youtube let you monetize any of your videos Yeah, we've we have changed our content a lot and you know, we censor a lot So youtube most of our videos do get monetized now Wasn't the same at the start everything to get fucking deleted removed until we sort of learnt the rules of the platform But where youtube's youtube still hates us so much that we still didn't get our 100k subscriber plaque Hopefully we're getting a million one because fucking hell I can't believe that we must be the only ones that's ever happened to I don't get it. Anyway, but yeah the website we have nothing's Nothing is censored so we can just do whatever the fuck we want to join the university of marco Bloody look i'll tell you that much for friend matt brown next question is from tabias dot jp JPG jpg do you guys train your bodies to endure pain before making a video? Well, I guess every time we make a video it is training for pain endurance, isn't it? So we just we do it every week multiple times. So We just get used to being in pain life is pain life is misery Yeah, you get used to the pain feeling sort of becomes a drug Like a really shit drug that hurts a lot and you don't want that much. Yeah, fuck speaking of stunt time It's gonna suck. Oh, yes I feel like in play with the controller. Look at this po box. This po box segment is going to be so white Hockey greg white hot. All right next question re hon mares jr Has said besides tennis what other sport would you both play professionally professionally? I loved The afl was pretty fun growing up. I'd love golf. I love golf Yeah, fucking like lots of sports are so fun to play and being a professional obviously be so table tennis would be rad Yeah lawn bowls like you'd be so cool to just be fucking awesome with lawn bowls Oh volleyball Fucking uh poll vaulting like that would come in handy in so many situations. Oh, we're gonna do a vid on the poll vaulting The balls stuck in the tree. What about boxing money? Would you ever be if you I don't know if I could train young Would you be a professional? I don't know if I can handle it. It's too much Nerves leading up to the fire too much training. Hey Oh, yeah, I don't know if that's a life for me Next question is from Ezra valentine roland and her instagram handle is underscore young underscore mayow underscore question for the podcast Have you ever fuck a ball? If so have You ever had a threesome with a cow or a ball just two cows I've fucked two cows in one night, but never at the same time the cows Obviously if I tackle one cow to the ground the rest scatter and they're not gonna hang around and get turned on Have you ever had a threesome with two? Uh, not really because you know, it's not consensual one's dead and then one. Yeah So is that really a threesome drag like the live? Yeah and forces head to kiss the dead one Yeah, no, that's exactly so. You're not really a threesome. I've done that and balls. No, I've never fucked a ball and again balls Sometimes the balls like have a look at me and they're like, you know, fuck should I attack this guy? But then they see what I'm doing in the cow and Sort of shake their heads and just turn away in the scar. I've seen a bull throw up I've seen a bull throw up watching me dismantle a large heifer Oh god trolley litten what science grades did you guys get back in the early days? Well strong a plus for me Strong it was very strong marks. We were very Up we'll up ahead a lot ways and not even trying like it was just like oh Science test today. Okay done. I didn't even study Yeah, I didn't even I didn't even know that there was they were teaching science at school And I like I was like got my report card and I was like what the fuck a in science It just happened. It was automatic. I used to I used to think science was pronounced Skynce That's like how little I even tried to learn about it. Skynce. I used to say oh, it's Skynce class today Yeah, then they taught it Then they said hey science. Hey you got an a plus. You can't say the language say the word mate They said that to me if science four times the principal came to my house science came to my house with a fucking hammer Well, yeah next question is from matt lacing nine does michael smoke crack Oh Look he has Loud was the only time Mistakingly did that. Yeah, so we have accidentally, but we don't do it regularly and we don't we would never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever Don't do it. Okay. Try it once Can we no only if you're in loud and you don't leave you have a good excuse Yeah, but yeah, no, I'd never do it again only if you're tired But we were like what 22 Yeah, and like yeah, it's not it's not it wasn't It's it's a shit drug anyway. Yeah, weed of life three Which one of you has traveled to more countries around the world and each of you say your favorite five Michael used to just fucking save all year and then fuck off for three months Yeah, I think I've been in like 25 30 countries. I don't even know how many I've been to But my top. Oh, I'll just go top two. I'd say columbia Than guatemala. Oh, you mean the cocaine My favorite countries probably be, uh, sydney and um to womba As well was pretty good. Well, you went to europe together Yeah, and went to a few countries and prag was Cheshire Republic's pretty fucking sick. Oh, we had a good time now. I'm fucking He almost died francing it fucked and and like la was pretty cool When there's no like people fucking killing each other and riots and shit Yeah, well, and we've been to Thailand together. We saw someone get shot. Yeah, that was a good time Yeah, next question is from rachel dunaway r.a underscore dunaway Hi boys got a question for your fully actual do your girlfriend's family or friends watch the podcast? Yeah, they do they do watch it a little bit and um, you know, that's fucking That's just I don't think they really Would they mom definitely doesn't yeah, I don't think they go girlfriend definitely does Yeah, I think friends and girlfriend does I think oh She might now and then she's over it a bit. Yeah, like mom 50 minutes of watching this mom said yeah And like they know all this shit. Yeah And but yeah, mom's like, yeah, I can't I can't do it And then I um pulled a breast out of my mouth and I was like, what are you talking about mom? It's fucking It's my life. How about you try and support me imagine try and rip I think have we spoken about this before on the podcast ripping a breast off And just biting into it Do I can it be possible to rip a breast off? Like yeah, if you get your fingers the perfect sized one to get the grip around and then I reckon if you Pulled up hard enough. You just need a scalpel just a little Just one little tear one little tick and the rest will just flip straight off come Ha ha ha I'll wrestle just flip straight off the other hat a tit hat Speaking of tits This is a little trick for I guess fucking people that want to feel breasts without feeling breasts When you're driving in a car, I'd say 100 k's an hour on the highway Wine down your window put your hand out have shape your hand like this Sort of like you're cupping a breast shape if you're listening on Spotify And then slightly caress the air And it's exactly like grabbing a breast Michael's been fucking ghosts Like yeah, a friend taught me that when we were kids. I was like holy shit. He's spot on Sam Well, or if you want to feel breasts as well the other classic ways Just walk up to your mum and just grab a tits and however they feel let's similar to what tits feel like So if you got your mum around just quickly get up. I'm really like you can do that You can do the little underneath them and just grow Grow them a bit next question is from alemano.com. You guys are amazing supporting you since 2016. Why thank you Thank you very much. Thank you question for the podcast. Why is your IG account not verified yet? Yeah, fucking good question. We apply for it all the time. I'll tell you what all right It's the it's the what it comes down to is the mainstream media So if you've been on the news heaps Or like had articles written about you and like how long your account's been around for and how consistently you post and stuff and because We grew so fast because we're so fucking good Like we've exploded onto the scene and now we're like fucking huge in such a short period of time And when we apply for verification though, oh this accounts only like Not like two years old So it's harder to get verified plus we don't we haven't even had many fucking much media attention yet mainstream I mean, you know, we've had been a little bit here and there bits on ridiculousness and shit like that But nothing nothing proper So but hopefully soon because like fucking out, you know what I mean bits and pieces But yeah, we just grew so quickly that it's like it's shocking to see oh one point one mil on instagram What the fuck won't they verify? But it's just because we're just so fast at growing that number faster than so Everyone else faster than anyone else. It's fast. It's ever been done. I think in history I was there So, yeah, we're very good. We're the best content creators in the world and that's why it's sort of just It takes a while Just takes a while guys I think I reckon it's gonna come in a couple weeks. I have a feeling Let's move straight along because it's stun time It's stun time. Everyone in the segment name has been changed to Let me see if I can get this right Stake Well, I like the steak That's a great ending and this is a segment where we do a stunt Both of us equally endure the same amount of pain and for this week's stunt time I'm going to shoot a marble into michael's fucking hand from fucking close range come And since it's stunt time mixed with science time This is to test if it hurt jesus when he got nailed to the cross Yeah, because we're a bit skeptical. I'm pretty sure jesus Come on like he might have been putting that on that pain part Because it doesn't look that painful So I'll be that could be a good experiment Crucify see if it actually no we've spoken about this before we can't do shit on religion or people get a bit upset Sorry about that guys, but this is for science. So it's fine and it's stunt time for you guys It's behind the green screen. Fuck. I'm gonna hate this. This is gonna fuck up full of duty. All right Let's get this over with How much do you reckon I heard out of 10? Oh probably Probably start with a six. All right, here we go. I've got the slingshot. I've got a marble in the slingshot a little ball little glass ball Hit the center of the head No, I'm scared Oh, it wasn't that bad you got to commit more. So It has a backside in the knuckles. No, just pull back further Attempts number two michael's complaining that the pain was not severe enough. Yeah, I'm seeing that jesus was lying right now Damage, dude I think all the duties we want now. Oh, well, which is fucked. I guess I knew that would happen. I guess I'll have to play Oh, look A little mark right in the middle. Oh, wow. It looks really cool. It's like it's like a white ring with a red ring in it It's the worst stunt time yet. I reckon that'll that'll really come up. Be beautiful Be a beautiful little All right, moving right along to the next segment, which has been of course renamed to push it out Even though she is I don't want to see more right now And this is a segment where we just unboxed whatever you guys have sent us in the p.o. Box And this week We have quite a large gift here. Don't we? There's not a large gift The fuck's the deodorant From greg shelton who is a member of our website. We fucking love you greggy, mate Well, you're a bloody good bloke and he's uh, he's gone through and sent us this He's a real fucking fan He's part of the university Oh, yeah I love a big package. Don't we? As you can, mate Oh, wow Let's see what it is. It could be a brick at brick of cocaine. We don't know yet My dear michael, I hope you enjoy this painting or use it for darts Be very careful opening it as it will rip at the folds Don't open it up until you have a big space to lay it down It's gonna rip, but you can always tape it. Cheers greggy. You're a fucking good bloke and he sent he's done this drawing This is us uh being rock stars because that's where we are. We're fucking rock stars, brother Don't we and he's set on the back for marty Saw your navana shirt in a skit. This was a sketch for a Or a concert with whitney houston singing lead for navana I did last year Sorry us fans annoy you, mate. Don't you dare apologize. We used to fuck up people's houses with slingshots First arrest age 13 for vandalism. That's lovely. This is lovely to hear Whitney houston singing for navana All right, what's he saying? Oh That is some fucking intense cock art work. So it's uh, it's like bees with huge erections And and little wings so it's like and then there's a venus fly trap What is that? Is that a venus fly trap or something there and what appears to be a man's leg? Okay, so and he's titled attack of the boner bees He is set on the back of this one. This is a sketch for an idea I had with bees squirting human come into a hybrid female slash plant vagina. I hope you respect the experiment Very creative. Great. Wow. Look at it It's beautiful That's the vagina there. All right now. He said to be really careful with opening this one. So I'm just gonna rip it Oh, yeah, mark was getting fucking kicked out everyone The the owner of the house is uh moving back in so we have to leave. Oh, there's more on the back There's a difference between hurt and injured. Don't worry about being pussies We're goggles when you use the slingshot you retard Honestly, you dudes are the best. I spend I spent time in four detoxes Four rehabs three years in a sober house and a couple overnighters at a police station I'm better now. Don't let people judge you steven didn't and thanks again at fly paint 25 Geez gregi. You're a fucking legend. Wow. What a decent guy All right, gregi will fucking open this after the podcast or it but thank you very much for those It's lovely. It's just lovely Now we're gonna do something incredibly controversial. My hand's fucked. Is it really? Look at it. Tocco. Tocco. A little red ball, isn't it? Hmm. Yeah. It's all numb now. There's no feeling there It's really what happened. Oh, yeah, shut up your ass. You can shut up your ass and feel like there's nothing there All right, the next segment has been renamed to And this is a segment where we just saw a prank call and uh You guys sent in the pranks and we fucking call them now this week I don't know. I don't know about this. This is controversial. Is this wait. Matt can be the judge Yeah, I'll read this to you guys. I'll read this to you guys and obviously we would bleep The names and stuff like that so no one's lives were ruined But like I'm sort of like oh, maybe we should do this bro away because like fuck it Where is it? All right, so this guy messaged us and he said Please prank or my old boss. He's a cunt he was He was really really nasty to me and that's it So it's a bit controversial No, I'm just kidding. He said this when I worked for him. His name is Please don't mention my name though. He's having an affair on his very sick wife with some lady that he has saved in his phone as Something else. So if you mentioned that he When mentioned that he will shit himself fucking love you guys by the way You guys really helped me when I'm not in a good mind space. Oh, thanks, man. You're a fucking legend. Thanks for sending that in um Yeah, what do you reckon? Matthew like I could just like just call and probe around a little bit and be like hey, mate And that we would get kind of to bleep the names obviously so that even one it wants it's out I'm just thinking the impact on him. Oh, yeah, it fucking psyche up like yeah, but does he in a way deserve to have He's psyche nah, we can't make that choice. Yeah, we don't have we don't it's not up to us to make that choice Should we play god? Maybe we should play god I'm starting to see where he's coming from there. What if he panics call like tells his sick wife What if he kills him? No, we can't. Yeah, what if he kills him? Yeah, does he sort of should he maybe? Well, it is In fact my strength of the gallant Well, I'll tell you this I'll tell you this much for free. All right conna leave all of this in In the comments tell us. Oh, they're gonna save course to it. Yeah. Well, no, but be be reasonable It be reasonable everybody should I wouldn't be reasonable. I just want to see that shit But we'll leave it to you guys But even if even if it's overwhelmingly you'll do it Obviously, um, we can we will probably still say no, but look just run the comments. What do you think? But okay, we'll leave it for next week. I'll tell you that much. All right It would be amazing. We're very entertaining and like I wouldn't I wouldn't do anything Crazy. No, you can imagine going really dark with it. We decide who the fuck is bill smith I think I just end the end the conversation with mate Mate come on She's sick for god's sake clean your act up, mate. Your wife is sick like But yeah, anyway moving on one of my mates likes drugs and has anger issues. He's 18 So I could just I'm just gonna call archer and see if I can rile him up Hello Hello Good. Am I speaking with archer here? Who's this? This is trevor hauston from the uh from the council. Do you have a five minutes to talk? No Mate well, it's uh regarding something that you're definitely gonna want to talk about because It's a bit of a legal issue now Well, I'm just letting you know Oh, I hate him already just from his nut fuck He is our arch enemy now, dude How I got a good number to call story dylan something Bluffs the nrl roosters and his dream is to play for them. He's 17 years old and he plays for the rooty hill dragons I'm just gonna say I'm from penrith panthers. Um, we've just I'm a scout from the penrith panthers He's been scouted during one of his games We're wondering if you want to come in for a trial Yep. All right. Here we go I'm gonna destroy someone's dreams Very lighthearted this one very lighthearted indeed. Hello. Good day. Am I speaking with dylan thawnton? Yes No worries. I'm just uh Trevor hall here just from the penrith panthers, mate. I'm actually um a scout Um, and I'm just calling you to let you know that um one of our scouts actually came to uh one of your um rooty hill dragons games at the end of last year's season And um, we're actually looking at signing a few more halfbacks for the 21 uh season And we're wondering if you had first of all time to chat on the phone right now and um, potentially Come in and set up an interview Wow Yeah, so um, do you have a second to to to speak? All right, I feel like I know you Um Fuck Damn, all right, well, fuck that's fucked we've got to find another prank call now dylan But cheers for being a legend and cheers for watching our shit and we love you cheeky dog No worries, buddy. Keep bloody playing fully, mate. Good luck Oh, man All right, my friend is dj and he's starting to get a bit of gigs in melbourne if you want to prank call him And pretend to be from retro nightclub on sussex streak in street and sydney offering him to fly up and play for two hours so you discovered him on soundcloud So again destroying someone's dream. I'm fucking all up for that brother Ah Hello, good day. Am I speaking with uh, Tenny stag here. Yeah. Yeah, good day, mate. I'm a uh manager from the open wide nightclub in sydney um, and basically I've uh, I am hired to scout um djs Upcoming djs from soundcloud and Fuck Damn it. All right, you caught us, dude I fucking love you guys. You guys are actually the best. Oh, thanks, dude. You're a fucking legend too, dude She's for listening to our sick shit But um, yeah, yeah, we can't fucking everyone's recognizing the voice tonight. We can no one's bloody. We can't get anyone Yeah, damn it. I fucked it up. I stumbled my words too much Well, anyway, we got to keep trucking on find another prank call But fucking legend you bloody keep dj and make grogna Love you all All right, I'm just gonna call greg and pretend that I am a um Hey, he's gonna fucking know I'm gonna be uh julia The classic Go more try man be a man. Am I speaking with greg? Hello, this is greg. Hello, greg. I'm my name. Uh, walla. Uh, me wondering when you start coaching Fuck Oh man, we all the prank calls have failed tonight. So we're like fuck it. We'll call greg Yeah I love it. That's the fucking best part of the podcast All right, greg, we gotta keep We gotta keep moving. I love you buddy. Thank you for chatting later. I love you, dude Yeah, look, that's that's the prank calls for this week We're all that guys send us prank calls be as detailed as you can but not too fucked up We don't want to ruin lives. We just want to make people laugh All right And then try and dub in people that don't listen to us because if they listen to us all like watch our Shit, then they're gonna recognize the voice. You know what I mean? My name is a walla But despite the failed prank call, we're still the fucking best Don't you fucking forget it up to the fucking roosters up the fucking mighty dogs and up the fucking pound panthers come We're the best you shit, bitch