 Hi everybody, and welcome back to our podcast from the Kama Sutra to 2020 where we look at your questions, your concerns, even your worries around all things to do with sex and sexuality. So today we have a very special episode for you because not only do we have with us Dr. Anvita Madan Behl, Anvita as you know is a psychosexual therapist and she brings the psychological perspective to the advice that the Kama Sutra has to give. But along with Anvita, we also have with us today Nikita Dixit. Nikita, as I'm sure most of you know, is one of the most dynamic influencers on social media in India today. And she is also the founder of an amazing platform called Be Badass. And Nikita I have to tell you I love the name. So it's called Be Badass. And if you haven't visited it on Instagram, you need to go and see it. It's visually fantastic. But also, it's amazing at the number of issues that it tackles. I know that Nikita started this as a platform to provide information and to tackle issues, relevant questions, etc. that women generally want answers to. But I think it's grown from there and it's become something that all young people and all people can come to. So Nikita, you really are an amazing person to follow these days and we're so happy to have you here. Welcome. Thank you. And what an introduction. I mean what an introduction and as you know, see my absolutely love you. And it is such a pleasure to be here in conversation with you and Dr. I'm super excited. Well, we are very delighted to have you there and with that you met Nikita a brief while ago. Yes, and it is so lovely because I think she speaks about such amazing and interesting things and more a lot of current topics that a lot of people are talking about some really excited to learn more and have conversations and, you know, provides a lot of information there. So really excited about the session. Yep, absolutely. So Nikita, and with I had a little chat about this and we decided that there's a lot of stuff that you do which excites us tremendously but there's one particular thing that you talk about, which has us so curious and interested that I thought that we have to touch upon this today because this is not very much. So you talk about something called ethical porn. Now, under that I have done a lot of conversations on porn, as we know it the porn industry is has been a certain way for many many years. And we've seen the down the downward trend in people in their relationships and their sexuality in their mental health because of this. But now suddenly we have another platform called ethical porn to tell us a little bit more please. So mainstream porn is just problematic and so many levels right. It has women being objectified. There are just derogatory storylines and I mean these days there are no storylines it's just, you know, just blatant objectification It's also problematic on the front that there aren't fair wages that there's sexual coercion there's a lot of abuse involved. So it's just, it's not that great. And I know that many people, especially in this country, turn to porn for sex education because there is a lack of comprehensive sex education in the country. And ultimately if that is what you're watching you are watching women being objectified. Then of course you will you will come to learn. You know that that sexual abuse is normal sexual assault is normal and you know a woman just kind of putting the man on this pedestal and prioritizing his pleasure is normal like that is what's normal. Of course that that's super problematic. Now that is where ethical porn comes in ethical porn is basically like fair trade for and a lot a lot of the times you know ethical porn is created by women. So the one of the prime issues with mainstream porn is that you know that there is a dominant male gaze. Of course everything is made for men by men. Ethical porn changes that ethical porn, you know, kind of focuses on women in many ways, it prioritizes female pleasure. It is inclusive in terms of body representation in terms of, you know, sexual orientation. So when when you look at mainstream porn, you may feel left out some people may feel left out because let's be honest it's just absolutely unrealistic. Not just in terms of you know the body image that you see in mainstream porn but in terms of the storylines or just the you know the script and the performance and everything is just unrealistic. Even when it comes to sexuality how they represent it. It's just, it's not true. So ethical porn is a game changer because you feel included. You see representation that you realize that, you know, oh wow like bodies like mine with like, you know, stretch marks and a little belly roll. They they can they can enjoy pleasure to they they can enjoy sex as well and it's it's absolutely normal and I don't feel left out anymore. Plus, along with that there is of course consent involved, everybody on the set is very very supportive. You know, at least that I know of and in theory there is no sexual abuse or coercion, everybody is doing it willingly there's a lot of respect. So yeah so that is what ethical porn is. It's really amazing to hear that because number of women that have come to my, you know, this is a new thing that I've been seeing that when they come to the clinic, and you would one of the questions that I'll always ask as the beginning is, when did you start masturbating or if you masturbate and what it is. And so many women would say they've not masturbated or they've never masturbated because they identify as feminist or they identify as women who want to support women and they really feel that the porn is an act of violence towards women because of the coercion that you spoke about abuse and everything, and that watching any kind of porn actually would be, you know, doing something that was against women, and that is why and somewhere they feel like there is a link between masturbation and pornography and that they will be unable to masturbate without porn. One of course there's hope for those women who do believe in that, that there is ethical porn out there, that you know they don't need to stick to mainstream cinema, you know pornography for it. But do you have any thoughts about like masturbation and pornography and what do you think? Well, I think, of course, like the visual stimulus is the quickest right so I absolutely get that appeal that women are gravitated and for that matter even men are gravitated towards porn when they want to masturbate. But I mean, again, like as consumers and we are consuming porn right so as consumers it is our job to be aware to be conscious and you know of the porn that we are consuming so there are of course options you will need to do a bit of research but there is feminist porn, ethical porn essentially is called feminist porn for this reason because because you know it's not derogatory. So I mean that is an option apart from this apart from porn, ethical porn especially I feel like there are more options. I think see my me we were on this webinar and we had a chat and there were people who were discussing how you know people love to fantasize. They will role play in their head. So that is an option that is a great option then there is erotic literature which is another great option. It's not only it's like I mean it's great for your brain it helps you visualize and then there is just no end it's it's honestly in my opinion, even better than porn because porn it's it just ends at a certain point but when you're reading something when you visualize it there is no end I mean you can have like this series of novel in your head if you want. It's just endless so yeah I mean I would recommend this as well. Some people also love to fantasize about their exes. So so that's another thing. So, so yeah. I think that I like that. Yeah definitely a lot of options I really actually like the idea also the erotic literature. I know I read an article recently about this woman in Maharashtra who said that there was a huge gap in the market in Marathi literature for you know for erotic literature and she started to write a lot of it for women. So, you know, I wish that she translated into other languages as well but so you know the more I listen to you about this idea of ethical for the more I'm taking to it I must admit because it just sounds like something. It's not real, you know, it is part of our lives no matter how much we say it's bad for you it's bad for you it's bad for you. People are going to consume porn we cannot do away with it. It is going to be something that people will watch at different ages, and it's the fear, I guess the reason that we don't like it is, it's the fear is the ideas that people are coming away with you know so the generations that are younger. And so if we have an alternative where you can actually grow up with like I said bad trade for you know it's like actually slightly more realistic ideas. Then it definitely sounds in theory a really fantastic thing, but talk to me a little bit more but there's a point you made about body image, and that actually got me interested because so my daughter recently decided that she was going to make these chai bombs. And the chai bombs are amazing you know they're these fabulous sort of white chocolate things filled with Kashmiri chai and this time all sorts of things and you drop the oh my god they're so delicious. And for International Women's Day, we decided what she decided to get a mold of you know the body, the female body. Now you've seen candles like that and things and so it was made you know with this female body it's beautifully made. But both of us looked at it and we were like, are we doing the wrong thing by women by making this body so perfect because that's the only mold that you can get. We actually went out and we found somewhere somebody started doing candles in exactly that position but with a slide belly with those little rolls around the waist etc, which finally enough in the Kamasutra. That was part of your beauty. A woman was considered beautiful. That was the ultimate in her beauty. If she had three rolls of flesh on her stomach. So if you had three folds of flesh that was considered a sign of absolute beauty. And I just think somewhere along the way I don't know how we've got so screwed up that we think that it's going to be like this streamlined shape so we couldn't get hold of those molds but talk to me a little bit more about body image and how is this going to help because I'll tell you what we talked about young girls growing up with bad body image, even women of my age, we have so many insecurities and complexes and we think so badly about ourselves just because we think our bodies are not perfect. Yeah, so I think, you know, talking from experience I'll just share like a couple of stories. And it's just my friends who when we have these sex talks these girl talks right. And they always are so overwhelmed by the idea of just getting naked with a man, right. It just overwhelms them and they'll tell me like how they can never have the lights on. Whereas, some men aren't as conscious, although I have heard your conversations in the past where you know somebody did say and we did say that he men are really conscious about the body so I guess it's both ways. But but women, I'll speak for women women are so conscious. They will literally hold back if at all they have the guts to do it they will hold back from certain positions. Right, like most women that I know are absolutely petrified of being on top because they feel like their tummy rolls will jiggle. Right, and, and of course like that is natural that will happen that will happen to men who are on top. I mean, it is going to happen it is so natural but but I feel like it. Obviously the fear in them comes from the fact that they have been exposed to this mainstream porn or even mainstream cinema that is, you know, slightly pornographic comes with some amount of nudity. The body standards that this industry has created in general is just, it's just so unreal, it is absolutely flat tummy with a bouncy butt, and you know like really, really perky boobs. This, like it's a combination that you can probably get like a woman will have one in a million one of those gene pool, you know, largely that somebody wins, otherwise, it's just Photoshop, and I don't understand how most women don't get it that mainstream porn uses Photoshop. I mean at so many levels there's Photoshop, there's plastic surgery, there's there are just multiple surgeries that I don't even know the name of, you know, so, so it definitely and of course like most of us have been exposed to mainstream porn even I got introduced to ethical porn very recently where I was exposed to real porn and I was like, oh wow, look at these people with normal bodies like my having sex, I did not know that was possible, I thought only these proven proper perfect looking people are capable of having sex and enjoying it. So, so I mean that was a pleasant surprise and I feel like for most people, that's going to happen as soon as you shift to ethical porn, and you have that option, I mean people do have that option of watching something that is more inclusive. It's either that they're not aware of it or it's probably that they're lazy. But, but trust me, I feel like people, especially people who have body image issues because of porn and are hesitant, you know, when when it comes to sexual acts, you know about your body. Please women, please, please go do some research, watch ethical porn, the bodies are more realistic, you'll feel so much better about yourself and you will be able to enjoy yourself more because trust me, you deserve pleasure and you deserve orgasm so just go watch ethical porn. And what I want to add to that is actually that I think men find a lot of performance anxiety from porn now because once again like Nikita is saying so much of it is Photoshop so much of it is using software or camera angles or everything and now men feeling the pressure of having the six packs and the muscles and everything. Once again they're as conscious about the performance or the sexual act and everything and added to what Nikita was saying that normal bodies don't look like that like they're mostly Photoshopped or plastic surgery has happened. And also, when you will speak to people like common people, they will say that they will find those bodies really skinny and they like the luxurious bodies or they like bodies that feel more normal or common or you know that they are attracted to this idea also out there that men only like thin bodies or women only like a certain kind of bodies is actually not true because people feel attracted to very different kind of body types and they are attracted or roused by different things some might be aroused by bigger hips or bigger tummies or you know different different things. So that also I think is a myth that only thin works. And hopefully also what might come to light is, and if you remember we've had young girls writing in and saying, I've got dark patches on my inside ties. And is that normal I don't know who to ask, and hopefully if they're showing normal women because most women have those dark patches on the upper inside tie. Maybe this is something that they'll see actually does exist or men who are saying oh you know I'm crooked or whatever maybe this is a good time for them to see that everybody's either the male organ generally leans to one side of the other has a little bit of a curve in it. So I think just putting a lot of basic fears to rest as well. Yeah, or you know when we talk about breasts like Nikita was talking that one breast doesn't look like the other breast this is rarely spoken about because most women think that they need to be twins or identical twins and that never happens there will be a shape difference or a size difference or you know they'll sag differently or something and nobody ever talks about it and they think there's something wrong and no two breasts will look alike or no two vaginas will look alike or penis. And that's something that we don't see because you know their Photoshop turn like Nikita saying they're perfected to whatever whoever decided that was the right way to look and we don't even know who decided that. So tell me, I mean, like I said, I'm actually thinking seriously about going along and watching some of this ethical point you're convincing me by the minute, literally. I don't watch one at all but you know this might just be a point here that I want to start. But tell me one of the things that I find most problematic from pornography or what pornography is generating is just this idea of how people now relate to each other. It's destroying relationships because like you said with mainstream porn. There is suddenly just it's just about sex sex sex sex sex sex sex or you know and there's no actual story to it there. There used to be a time I think I'm with us at this earlier that they used to be a time when you know there was a story around it okay there is this man and he meets this woman and they do this and this is what they're talking about. Now, there isn't even that it's just it's so cut and dried. And unfortunately this is again a lesson that everybody is taking away from it that this is what you do you come in you go bang bang bang, you're over and done with and you go to the next part and you go bang bang bang. Okay, so for me this is one of the biggest problems is what it is doing to relationships. Tell me, do you think that ethical porn has an angle on relationships. So it definitely does there are storylines and there are romantic angles there are of course fantasy angles as well because let's be honest most women have fantasies so there's that but but with the added element of consent, so it's absolutely fine. But but yes, as you were saying and I feel like that's a general problem not not just porn I feel like romance is dead. In fact, like in mainstream porn if you go and search for categories. So many of the things that are normal are not normalized that like those are fetishes. So like romance as a category or erotica is a fetish like it's a minor subcategory right because that's not normal. That's not normal out there in the world of mainstream porn. Similarly, you were talking about bodies earlier so skinny body is the normal, but but they call it like a plus size body or like a voluptuous body or like a big body that is a fetish. So that's that's something that is offbeat and weird it's a subcategory. So, so I feel like, and I feel like that's, that's happened because of probably you know how how lives, how our lives and how the society has changed in the age of social media where, where we live for that instant gratification, and everything is instant and fast paced and we don't really take out the time to invest in a relationship or invest in that bond that may last. Like one definitely has a big role to play because because it has convinced people that good sex only comes when you detach from that person. And so, so you should be doing this with multiple people and and detach sex is great. But as soon as you emotionally invested the sex kind of dies and the pleasure dies and this is this is just an image that if you think about it like this is something that I've gathered from most of the movies that I've seen as well like it's not just porn. I have gathered this, and I've been conditioned this way myself and it's only just now that I'm realizing it like I feel like even I have this mindset that romance kind of kills the vibe maybe kills the spark you know if you if you're in love, you don't have that spark it dies down up to the wife. And I feel like mainstream media has has popularized that idea, but porn has definitely added that cherry on that cake, you know, where it has exaggerated that in terms of sex. So basically changing how the society revolves around relationships and views relationships, especially like my generation or the younger generations that are coming. But I know you have a lot to say on this in terms of relationship because I have had this conversation with you that you believe that you know the greatest pleasure comes when you're the most comfortable with that person so please share a bit about that because I would love to hear more again. So the chemistry says that actually the best sex is with somebody that you've been with for a very long time because this idea of instant chemistry is that you know you see somebody, you get excited, you finish you're gone. And if we say that there's so much pleasure involved in sex then you've lost out on all that pleasure you know by the time you've looked at this woman and her breasts and you said wow they're gorgeous, you already have a hard on you've had your sex. You haven't had a chance to enjoy those breasts you know what I mean like it's you kind of go past it so they say that if you have been with somebody number one, it means that it's more comfortable comfort is a great factor in good sex. You have enough time to be with that person you don't have to be looking over your shoulder and think okay hurry up hurry up you know because I might get into trouble. Because it takes longer to come to arousal. It's just that you actually get to every or you touch upon every stage of your arousal, which is amazing because you feel far more pleasure, as you go past each thing, rather than having sort of bypass the whole thing you know because you've gone caught out of here. So, definitely I think and I personally, I know a lot of people ask this question about monogamy and so on but I personally do believe that anything in life worth having you have to work towards monogamy can be very pleasurable. If you don't look at it as a bad word, and if you work at it. You know, so if ethical porn, can I actually bring that idea back that your relationships are important. I think that'll be pretty amazing. And what do you think. Yeah, I was just going to say, connecting it to what Nikita was saying initially about the sex education bit. The problem is that porn does act as sex education in the South Asian culture because there is no comprehensive sexuality or even if in the Western world, nobody is actually people are just teaching you reproductive sex they're not teaching you how actually to get pleasure from sex. And when visually all you're seeing is a physical connect and it's like you know how you sat in its bang bang like let's get it done and over with that actually doesn't really teach you about what's about intimacy trust relationship connecting with someone and accepting someone loving someone and all those elements speak to what you were speaking about Seema about getting comfortable right. There is an emotional connection there which is completely missing from mainstream porn like there is no, there's nothing to do with emotions there. Even if we say romance is dead. There's nothing to do with emotional intimacy or emotions there. And I am not as an I'm not even one saying that people can't have one night stands and they don't need to have, they need to have emotions in sex, but the reality is that seeing the other person as a person rather than an object or a sex object changes the dynamic and what mainstream pornography does is just shows the two people as two objects like just two sex objects, which are just moving getting the orgasm being done with it and that's it. And in any sexual relationship having some intimacy or some emotionality or romance definitely enhances the sexual act. Definitely, I think so too. So, I can see that there is hope on the horizon Nikita yay, you're flying the flag for the porn and you never know. And actually, as the last question for today I really want to ask you about this because next week, and I plan to touch upon a subject that a lot of people have been talking about, which is about young people having sex for the first time. A lot of girls who are so concerned they're worried they don't know what they're getting into. Nobody's actually taught them young men who are going into sex for the first time and so on. There's just so much worry there's so much fear around it you know a lot of them say that I'm very happy to do lots of things but I can't bear the idea of sex because it scares me so it's not because of your prudence or prudishness or anything it's just that idea of being nervous and frightened. So, what I would like is talking about this that you've obviously researched the subject you know a lot about it and I know that you feel that it's a way forward and a really helping a helpful hint for a lot of people. What would you say to a lot of young people. I know that you basically focus on trying to bring women to an understanding of things so let's say to young women, for instance, who are thinking of having sex for the first time. What are the tips and advice that you would give them and what do you think they can get out of the ethical point that you were talking about. Alright, so I think adding on to what Dr. Ramita said because I think it is really important for me to kind of point out as well. Casual sex is absolutely okay and I encourage it. It's not that I'm against it but there needs to be this level of comfort so now coming to the point of you know, having sex for the first time and I absolutely understand the nervousness that's, that's, you know, around your first time because there's so much pressure a woman's first time. And the idea of pain, a lot of the girls are very very frightened of the pain. Yeah, yeah. And also the whole pressure that you know the society has placed on a woman's virginity, which is, which is a mythical concept by the way, but anyway. So, so I mean, you know, coming to the psychological aspect of it and my advice to women would be, you first of all, need to be comfortable with that person, like you may be super casual with this person and you do not need to be in love with this person, but you need to be comfortable with this person and if you are uncomfortable, and you usually nervous and you're unsure about this person, then it's not, it's not the right time to have sex like please, please get rid of this pressure that you don't have sex at this age or at this point or oh you've been dating this person for so long and you don't feel like it, but you think that you need to do it know you do not need to do it. You don't owe anybody anything at all it is your right to say no that you're not ready for it. In fact, it is your right to even back out at the very last minute like even when you started you, you both of you are, you know, in bed together. Even whatever you are and when it just comes to the point of sex or insertion and you change your mind and you're nervous, it is your right to say no, say no and say I'm, I've changed my mind I'm not ready for it, and that's absolutely okay. So just first of all know that it is okay to say no do not feel pressured into doing it. And apart from that, if you are nervous, you're super comfortable with that with this person and you're still nervous. I would say just just be open in communicating your nervousness because this other person may be nervous as well. If you, you two are comfortable with each other this person will understand it will do everybody in their part to make you comfortable and to make this experience a pleasurable one for you. And it is normal to be nervous. I mean, you know, most of us have been there and everybody is nervous trust me like there's nobody who hasn't been nervous before that first time literally. So it's absolutely fine just take it slow. And remember to stick to your own pace stick to your terms you do not need to compromise you do not need to give into peer pressure. So I think these are a couple of things that are important and communication is super important if you're nervous. Communication will really help just let the person know how you're feeling and take it easy take it slow. Ethical porn will set the mood right have some candles where great perfume laundry that makes you feel good like just get into your comfortable space, get into a space that you like. That make you feel comfortable about yourself wear clothes that make you feel good. And you know, I feel like all of these things might just be mood setters and you'll get into that moment and it'll come naturally as cliche and as cheesy as it sounds. It does happen naturally and it will come naturally to you when you are in the right headspace with the person who respects you who respects your consent. And, you know, who you're comfortable with. So yeah, so then just go with the flow. That's about it. I want to add something to that I love that answer. I love that answer actually and if you're going to do the video next week but and we will talk more in depth about it but I truly as an I couldn't agree more with Nikita that if you are comfortable. With any discomfort that's when the pressure will be there that's when the stress will be there that's when you'll not be sure about it and if you're not in the moment you can't get pleasure, but once you're comfortable, all the, of course, there will be wrinkles and nervousness and stress but all of them will come to the wayside. And you'll get into it, but if the initial comfort is not there, then it will always stay the stress and the pressure, or like not wanting to do it that will always stay, and it won't be a pleasurable experience so I wouldn't, you know, I couldn't agree more. So what what I was thinking was that we did a video sometime back on lubrication because a lot of women feel that lubrication is something that they shouldn't be using it's almost like a an aspersion on the man's ability to arouse them or their own ability to be aroused and much nonsense and we were trying to say please you must use lubrication it's not about how good somebody is it's about your body and even after we did it. There were remarks on the video saying, you know, a man's ability to arouse the woman should be enough and then we had somebody else saying, astrologically if you do it on this this day of the moon then you will be probably like, you know, stop so I'll tell you what Nikita, if there is an ethical form video that shows somebody using lubrication because it's a good thing. I'm sold. That's one thing I mean that would be my tick marks if if somebody. I am pretty sure there is now I'm going to find it and I'm going to add it in the caption section below, like in the comment section below of this video and it goes. Fantastic so everybody watching later remember by then by the time the video goes up Nikita will have found a video with lubrication being used and the importance of it and we will have it in our description in the captions. And I want to share one story with something that you started by saying about how in mainstream porn it is very much about the guy coming in I want you to do you know it's over it's done with ethical porn trying to change that a little bit talking about consent years ago when I was still in college there was this guy that I decided I liked and he decided to ask me out. And it picks me up from college and we're driving along on the ring road in Delhi so if anybody's familiar with the ring road this is the most busy road that runs through Delhi it runs all the way around Delhi, many many lanes it's crazy traffic it's it's a scary place. So we're driving along on the ring road and he says to me, I'm trying to figure out which hotel to book for us and I'm like, what do you mean which hotel to book for us and he tells me, well, we're over here together. You know, we're going to go to a hotel and I'm like, let's drive around let's chat we can kiss a little bit in the back of the car. He was not interested. So basically, I said no, he stopped in the middle of the ring road and took me out. He actually took me out to the middle of that road. Now, at that point, I must tell you I was heartbroken because I really like this guy was like you just dumped me you didn't want to just spend the afternoon kissing me am I not worth doing that. Later on, I think, thank God for a basic inner confidence that says no I'm okay thank you very much. I didn't think about it consciously but yeah, I mean, ladies, girls, if you're going through a situation like that, don't don't put yourself to don't put yourself down. You are worth better. So, I'm going to bring you lots and lots of details contact details for Nikita because I know that she's around to answer a lot of questions and has lots of platforms on which he can answer questions. And I'm going to give you several details that you can get in touch with her add but just before we do Nikita in finishing would you like to add anything. Because you have been a fabulous guest and I think that, at least I hope that people that people get a lot out of it I know that I know that and I have learned a lot. And, and I think to just kind of finish off I would say that, well, try out at the porn, and you know, know that particular sorry just asking, is there any particular maker, a filmmaker that you can recommend any particular things that you can recommend So that there is this Swedish filmmaker her name is Erica last. So if you want to look her up she's she's one of the pioneers, you know, who's kind of led this movement of ethical porn so just look her up. And just a quick Google search I don't want to like plug in like a couple of websites here so just a quick Google search will give you a list of you know all of these websites and there are quite a few. One of the things that they may be paid but again like keep in mind that they do keep the fair wage. You know, obviously in regard so of course it is paid, but some of the stuff you can watch for free as well. So I mean try your hands and trust me it is worth the subscription like trust me it is. So just invest think of it as self care and invest in it if you can. And also I feel like we've spoken a lot about sex and I have spoken a lot about sex and you know, porn, but, but yes ladies, if, if I mean if it's not working out for you with your partner just like take care of it yourself and watch ethical porn and do whatever works for you and just take owners of your own orgasm, you know, take that responsibility, you deserve pleasure. So just go get it. I mean, it's so simple and trust me like it will your body will thank you for it your brain will thank you for it so just go for it and if you can invest in a sex toy as well because that's brilliant. So yeah. Wonderful. And with any closing remarks. No, I just as I'm really excited and I couldn't, you know, it's been such a learning experience to learn about a lot of things and also this idea that you know women can be in control of their own sexuality and that's what gives them the most pleasure rather than relying. And also this idea that Nikita Nikita was talking about that pleasure for women is okay so don't feel guilty about it or anything invest in it it is fabulous for you so invest in your own pleasure, rather than depending on somebody else or something else invest in your own pleasure. So, yeah. Yeah, and you know our ancient text say that pleasure, your pleasure is your responsibility it's not somebody else's responsibility. Another person can be part of your pleasure but it's not them who's going to bring it to you, you bring it to yourself. You have to open up your own channels in your own brain to decide that you want that pleasure so that's the very first step forward. So as always, please do like, comment, subscribe on the video if you have any questions send them into info.seema.arnand at gmail.com. The course is on Anvita Madan beheld.com and Nikita's various contact details which I'm going to read out to you because she can be reached on many, many different platforms and she's a very useful person to reach out to. So it's the Instagram handle is bbadass.in so bbadass is literally spelled B-E-B-A-D-A-S-S dot i-n her email address is Nikita.dickshit at hotmail.com which is spelled N-I-K-I-T-A dot D-I-X-I-T at hotmail.com and there is one more Instagram handle which is miss.dickshit Is that correct Nikita? Yes, yes. Okay, wonderful. And I guess all that remains for me is to say thank you all for being over here Nikita. Thank you once again for educating all of us and we'll see you next week.