 The Kraft Foods Company presents Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Sleeve. The Great Gilder Sleeve is brought to you by the Kraft Foods Company, makers of Parquet Margarine. Every day, millions of women all over America serve Parquet Margarine because it tastes so good. To market, to market, to get some parquet. Home again, home again, try it today. You like it, you love it, like millions who say their favorite margarine is. T-A-R-K-A-Y Parquet Margarine made by Kraft. Well, it's the afternoon of a typical working day in Summerfield and the little town is teaming with activity. Everywhere you can hear the busy hum of industry in the sawmill, in the railroad yard, in the factories, and in the office of the Great Gilder Sleeve water commissioner. What time is it, Bessie? It's four o'clock, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. Huh? Is that all? Well, just one more hour to five o'clock. Yes, sir. Did you want to do some work, Mr. Gilder Sleeve? Well, let's know you starting now, Bessie. Can't get much done in an hour. Yes, sir. But I'll go ahead and read my magazine. I guess I'd better take my feet off the desk. Blood's going to my head. Mr. Gilder Sleeve, maybe we better get out that monthly water report. Yes, must do that. Tomorrow. The mayor will be calling for it one of these days. I forgot to tell you, the mayor did call for it this morning. He did? Bessie, why didn't you tell me? Well, you weren't here, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. You were down getting a soda. Oh. And then he called again this afternoon. What? Why didn't you tell me then? You were down getting another soda. Well, I was pretty thirsty today. Had ham for breakfast. Mr. Gilder Sleeve, are we getting some new furniture? Getting some new furniture? What do you mean? Well, the last time the mayor called, he said there were going to be some changes made around here. Oh, I guess he meant, he got. See, he means us, Bessie. Oh, he does? I bet we're going to be fired. Fired? He's probably making out the dismissal slips right now. Oh, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. It's our own fault, Bessie. We fiddled while Rome burned. This is the straw that broke the camel's back. What are we going to do, Mr. Gilder Sleeve? Nothing we can do. It's too late. Fired at my age, and I haven't saved a cent. Me either. Poor little Leroy. You'll probably have to sell papers. Hope he gets a good corner. Oh, of course you will, Bessie. No! Bessie, don't cry, Bessie. Maybe the mayor will... Bessie, you want to answer it? Oh, no. You answer it, please. Gilder Sleeve? Oh, hello, Mr. Mayor. I didn't expect you to call. Gilder Sleeve, I want to see you in my office. Mr. Mayor, I can explain it... Right now. But... Bessie, this is it. Goodbye, Bessie. Goodbye, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. Miss Hopper, you can finish that letter in the outer office. I'd like to speak to Mr. Gilder Sleeve alone. Yes, sir. Nice day, isn't it? Grab your coat and get your... Gilder Sleeve? I suppose you're wondering why I called you in here. I don't like to do a thing like this, but... Well, I have to leave town for a few days on official business. And I'm afraid you'll have to act as mayor while I'm gone. Huh? What was that? I said I wanted you to act as mayor. Me, mayor? Frankly, the only reason I've chosen you is that the other department heads are too busy. You seem to have a lot of extra time on your hands, getting sodas and things. Oh, well, you see, I had ham for breakfast. Now, my secretary, Miss Hopper, will really run the office. All I need is some official linear design letters. I guess you can do that all right. Oh, yes. You start the first thing in the morning. Well, thank you, Mr. Mayor, for the honor. And I assure you... Hopper will be all Gilder Sleeve. Yes, and thanks for not firing me. What's that? Nothing. Good day. Mayor Gilder Sleeve. I think I'll go down and get another soda. Pants pressed yet? Mr. Gilder Sleeve, this is Saturday morning. I've got lots of things to do. I know it. I'll get them pants pressed as fast as I can. Okay, Bertie, but I'm in kind of a hurry. I'll do this fast as I can. I ain't no centipede. All I got is two hands. Mayor? Yes. It's 10 o'clock, Mr. Mayor. Don't you think you ought to be down at your office? I can't go down in this old bathrobe. Bertie's pressing my frock coat and striped pants. Oh, no, not that. Well, if I'm going to do that, I might as well dress like one. You haven't worn those since you almost married Eve Goodwin. We won't go into that, my dear. I hope you took the mothballs out of the pocket. Yes, I did. I wonder where my silk hat is. Hey, look, I tied that sign to your car. What sign is that? Well, and... The one I made for Uncle. It says, official car. His honor, the mayor, coming through. Oh, for heaven's sake. Well, and that... See, in case I have to go someplace and hurry, a fire or something. Can I ride downtown? I can make a swell noise like a siren. Yeah, that won't be necessary, Leroy. Children, I can't find my silk hat. Has anybody seen it? Your silk hat? Leroy, you know darn well where it is. You shut up. What's this, Leroy? Well, if you don't tell Uncle, I will. Leroy, where is that hat? Well, you see, me and Piggy have been using it for our magic act. Oh, my goodness. And yesterday we were practicing the air. Air trick? Young man, I want that hat, and right now. Well, I don't think it's dry yet. What? You see, one of the eggs broke. In my hat? Yeah, but don't worry, Uncle. We washed it out. Leroy, that boy. Uncle, why don't you get started? You're going to be awfully late. Your first morning as mayor. I'll handle my own affairs, young lady. Birdie? What is it now, Mr. Gil, please? Birdie, aren't my pants ready yet? No, sir. Well, come, come. You're keeping the mayor waiting. Mr. Gil, please, I'm pressing them pants just as fast as I can. All I got is two hands. Yes, Birdie. Two hands is all I got. Just two hands. I know that. I ain't got four hands. I ain't got any. I'm sorry, Birdie. No, sir. Mr. Gil, please. Do you know how many hands I got? Yes. That's right. Two hands. That's all I got. A big mayor. Mr. Gil, please. You don't mind my saying so. You certainly presented a naughty appearance. Thank you, Peavey. I'm glad you think so. Spats and striped trousers, frock coat, high hat. What's the matter? Isn't that hat a little bit small for you? It sort of sits up on top of your head. Well, I guess it shrunk a little. I just got it off the clothesline. How's that? Nothing, Peavey. You may not know it, but you're talking to the mayor. Oh? The mayor to Wilger went away for a few days, and he asked me to take his place. Well, that's nice. Well, not so much. I guess he just thought I was the best man for the job. Well, my congratulations. Is it difficult work? I don't know. I haven't been down to the office yet. Guess I look like a mayor, huh? Oh, yes. You know, seeing you in that outfit takes me back to the time when I was a young man going to musical shows. It does? Yes, the chorus boys used to dress like that. Strapid pants and spat. Peavey, I'm no chorus boy. Oh, I didn't say you were, Mr. Gilderfield. You'd be too plump. They're usually more the willow-y type. Look, Peavey, I don't want to be a chorus boy. I think that's a very wise decision. I understand there's not much future in it. Peavey. Besides, you were a little old to be jumping around on the stage. I have no intention of jumping around on any stage. That's good. I understand it's very hard on your arches. Oh, for us. Of course, the theatrical life has its good side. All those women in tights. You know, I'll never forget those Florida door girls. Oh, tell me pretty maiden, are there any more at home like you? Peavey! For heaven's sake, Peavey, there are things more important than women in tights. I wouldn't say that. Chorus boy. I'm the mayor. I know that. I should think you'd have some respect for the dignity of my office. Oh, I meant no offense, Mr. Garrison. I'm not a dancer in some old musical show. Well, I wouldn't scoff at the old musical shows. They had some very, very nice tunes. Here's one I used to enjoy. Ta-ra-la-boong-dee-e Ta-ra-la-boong-dee Peavey. Ta-ra-la-boong-dee Peavey. Ta-ra-la-boong-dee Peavey. Ta-ra-la-boong-dee Peavey. Oh, excuse. Ta-ra-la-boong-dee Guildersleeve. Well, what's there for the mayor to do this morning? The morning's almost gone, Mr. Guildersleeve. Yes, I was delayed a little. Well, don't you worry, Miss Harper. We'll clean things up in a jiffy. We'll just sit down at the desk here. Nice, easy chair. Miss Harper, didn't the mayor have a box of cigars on his desk? Yes, but before he left, he locked them in his drawer. Well, let's get down to business. What shall we do first? There's nothing for you to do, Mr. Gildersleeve. I've taken care of everything. Oh, you have? You might sign those letters on your desk. They should have gone out before now. Oh, letters, of course. Sign them immediately. No time like the present. Mr. Gildersleeve. Yes? Aren't you going to take your hat off? Hat? Oh, yes. Take it off right now. Stuck on my head. Must have shrunk some more. What's the matter with this? Gildersleeve. I mean, Mayor Gildersleeve. I've been looking for you all morning. Hello, Judge. Can't get your hat off? No, I can't. It's a matter, Gildersleeve. Got the big hat already. You old goat. Want any hat? No, I can't. No, I can't. No, I can't. No, I can't. No, I can't. No, I can't. You old goat. Want any help? No, I can do it. There. Gildersleeve. Is that egg on your forehead? Huh? What do you do? Lick the plate this morning? I'll wipe it off. That Leroy. Look, Judge, I'm a busy man. What do you want to see me about? Well, since you're the Mayor, Pro Tem Gildersleeve, I have a little matter to discuss with you. What's that? As official historian of Summerfield, I am presenting the city with a portrait of one of our founders. My great-grandfather, Jeremiah Hooker. Very interesting, Judge. I'd like to hear about it sometime. Some other time. But, Gildersleeve. See me later, Judge. I'm very busy right now. But we've got to make plans. It's 12 o'clock already, and the presentation is scheduled for this afternoon. Oh, it is? Yes. Right there on the Mayor's calendar. See it? Hmm. Presentation of picture, four o'clock. And you're supposed to follow the Mayor's calendar, Gildersleeve. That's right, Mr. Gildersleeve. Oh? Well, let me see that calendar. 10 o'clock? 11 o'clock? 12 o'clock? Yeah. See you later, Horace. Where are you going, Gildersleeve? Lunch. Must follow the Mayor's calendar. While the great Gildersleeve is thinking about food, let's do the same for a minute. You know, I stopped in the police station to see Chief Gates the other day. He was on the phone. Yes, dear. Brand potatoes. Okay. What about Parquet margarine? Two pounds of Parquet margarine? Good hazel. I'll get them. So long. Hello, Chief. Getting instructions from the Misses? Yep. Gotta bring home the bacon. Ho, ho, ho, ho. And the Parquet margarine? I suppose Parquet is a favorite spread at your house. You bet. Use it all the time. Well, millions of families do. It's perfect for rolls, muffins, pancakes, and waffles, as well as bread. And the price of Parquet escape being held up by that hoodlum inflation. Right. Parquet margarine, the margarine of craft quality, actually costs less today than it did a year ago. And that makes a lot of budget-bound housewives mighty happy. Yes, sir, delicious. Parquet margarine, the margarine made from only the choice products of American farms, the margarine with a fine, fresh flavor, the margarine that's as nourishing as it is good, is more than ever the best buy for both bread and budget. Add Parquet margarine to your shopping list. You'll like it because it tastes so good. That's P-A-R-K-A-Y Parquet margarine made by craft. And now let's see how the great Gilder Sleeve is getting along on his first day as mayor. He had a busy morning doing nothing. And now, after lunch, he's back at his desk doing nothing. Wish the mayor hadn't locked the cigars in his drawer if I could open it with a hairpin. No, that wouldn't be right. Besides, you might get caught. Now, better get to work. Guess I'll sign these letters. Mr. Gilder Sleeve. Yes, Miss Harper? I'm still waiting for those letters. Oh, yes, just getting to them. I'll sign them right away. Oh, and there's someone waiting to see you. A barber. Oh, that's Floyd. I just called him. Send him right in. Yes, sir. And I don't want to be disturbed for a while. I'll be getting a haircut. A haircut? Here in the office? Naturally. All busy executives do it. Time is money, Miss Harper. The mayor can't waste his time running around to barbershops. But Mr. Gilder Sleeve. That will be all, Miss Harper. Send him in. Very well. You'd think she was the mayor. Hi, Commiss. I mean mayor. How do you do, Floyd? Hey, quite a layout here. Big desk, two phones, just like a bookie's office. Floyd. You got anything good in the third-race commission? Let's not be disrespectful, Floyd. I'm a busy man. Let's get on with the haircut. Yes, Your Honor. I just wait till I unwrap my tools here. I got them in this barber's sheet. Oh, look out, Floyd. You're scratching the desk. Sorry, Your Honor. Now, we'll just tuck this sheet under your chin. Now, just one thing before I begin. You understand when I make a house call like this, it costs you a buck extra. Yes, yes. You see, it means I got to close up the shop, and there's transportation expenses, gas, and oil. Floyd, I agree to that on the telephone. Just cut my hair. Okay. Just so long as we got an understanding. Besides, you can charge it up to the city, you know, Commiss. Look, Floyd. Well, maybe I could put it down on my expense account. Sure. Let the taxpayers worry. Well, I'll give you an executive-type haircut, Commiss. Mr. Gilderslee. Yes, Miss Harper. Judge Hooker would like to see you immediately. I can't see him now. Tell him I'm in conference. Floyd, watch my ears. Sorry, Your Honor. But Mr. Gilderslee, the ceremony is at four o'clock. You'll have to make plans for it. The judge is very upset. The judge will just have to wait. Yes, sir. I never thought I'd be working in a barber shop. Hey, what's the judge in a stew about, Commiss? He's going to give a picture of some skinny relative to the city. He wants to make a big fuss about it. Oh. I'm supposed to accept it as mayor. Who wants to listen to one of Hooker's long-winded speeches? I think I'll stall the old goat when Mayor Tawilagir gets back. That's the smart way to handle it. You think so, Commiss? Sure. Well, I guess that's all right. If you want Mayor Tawilagir to cash in on all that publicity, it's steady you. Publicity? Sure. Pictures in the paper and everything. A ceremony like this is front-page stuff. It is? Certainly. Now, just suppose that the next election, you decided to run for mayor. A little publicity like this wouldn't hurt, would it? No, I guess not. Opportunity knocks but once, Commiss, if I was you, I'd get up and answer the door. Huh? And you'll listen a little floyd-y. While Mayor Tawilagir's away, that's the time to toot your own horn. That's politics. Well, uh... You think that would be fair to Tawilagir? Look, Commiss, does Dewey worry about Taft? No, I guess you're right, Floyd. Gilday, I've waited long enough... Well, getting your haircut on the taxpayers' time. Hello, Horace, old friend. Don't you old friend me, a fine mayor you turned out to be? Hello, Floyd. Hi, Judge. Sit down, Horace, old pal. We'll talk over the plans for the presentation this afternoon. You needn't bother. What? I've decided to postpone the whole thing until the real mayor gets back. You can't give me the run-around, Gilday. Good day. Judge, wait a minute. Nothing more to be said. Judge, you can't double-cross me like this. And that is after all the plans I've made? Plans for what? For the ceremony. I was going to invite a lot of people, have the newspapers, take pictures. Pictures? Sure, you'll be on the front page, Horace. Well, I do photograph rather well. Especially from the right side. You're another Francis R. Bushman, Judge. Why, thank you, Floyd. Gilday, this is very nice of you going to all this trouble for me. Not at all, Judge, old friend. Francis X. Bushman. Oh. It's a pleasure. Fortunately, I have prepared a little speech for the ceremony, tracing the history of the Hooker family from 1836 down through the years, year by year, to the present date. Oh, brother. What's that? I wouldn't miss it, Judge. Oh, Judge? Yes? Since you're going to get your picture taken, you could stand a little trim around the years. Oh. Well, I guess a haircut would improve my appearance if you had the time, Floyd. Just have a chair there, Judge. You're next. Hello. This is the office of the mayor. Send a reporter and a photographer over here at 4 o'clock. And hold your presses. We've got a front-page story. Scoutmaster Platt? Yes? Scoutmaster, I want a boy scout band down at the mayor's office at 4 o'clock, ready to play. But, sir, the scouts are out on a hike. On a hike? Well, go out and round them up. Mayor's orders. Bertie, I'm having my picture taken a little while. I wonder if you could press up a fresh shirt for me right away. What's that? Press a shirt? Yes, Bertie. Mr. Gilsey, right now, I'm cleaning the house. Yes. Then I got to wash the windows. Oh. Then I got to cook the dinner. Cook the dinner. And all I got is two hands. I know, Bertie. I ain't got four hands. Yes, Bertie, I know. That's right, Noritory. But as official historian... Judge, don't you think you've rehearsed that speech enough? Well, Gelda, I want to get it. Let it perfect. I've got to rehearse my speech, too, you know. It's almost time for the ceremony. Go right ahead. You won't bother me. It is with the greatest pleasure that I, as mayor, pro tem, accept this gift on the... I'm not one to indulge in all this. On behalf of my constituents of Summerfield, it gives me great pleasure to... Yes, Miss Harper? There's a Boy Scout band out there. They're all over the hallway. Oh, good. Tell them we'll start in just a few minutes. And some other people are out there, too. Reporters, photographers. Sacrifice. I've never been through such a day. You may go, Miss Harper. I'll let you know when we're ready. Oh, dear. My face, Judge. But as official historian, I would like... Gelda, how can I rehearse my speech? It isn't time for him to play anyway. Why don't you stop him? Keep your shirt on, Judge. I'll speak to them off the whole door here. I'll come to the door and give you a signal when I want you to play. Thank you, fellas. It's going to be an historic occasion. It's almost four o'clock. We better get started. All right, I'll unwrap the picture. I'm sure the mayor will be very proud to have this hanging on his wall. Oh? There he is, my great-grandfather, Jeremiah Hooker. Handsome, isn't he? Oh, my goodness. What's the matter? He looks like one of the Smith Brothers. Is that so? This happens to be a very fine painting. Leroy can paint better than that. I'll have you know this is a real antique. Oh, the picture of your great-grandfather. He looks like an old goat, too. Gelda, have you think I'm going to stand here and let you insult my ancestors? Judge, I didn't... Let go of my picture. Now, I'm going home. You can't go. The photographer's out there. I don't care. Give me my picture back. Indian givers. Tattie face. Oh. Let go of my picture. I won't. I can pull as long as you can. Gelda, you wrecked my grandfather in two. He looks better that way. Going on in my office. Oh, are you back? Fortunately, yes. I'm glad my trip was cut short another day and I wouldn't have had any office left. And he ruined Jeremiah. Oh, Gelda, I should have known better than to leave you in charge. I've never seen such a mess. Well, you see... And what's all that hair doing on the floor? Hair? I don't know. There's so much of it all. I got was a trim. What? The gray stuff belongs to the judge. Hair cuts in my office. The hall full of people. Is everybody going crazy around here? No, I can explain. Never mind. And get that boy scout band out of the hall. Yes, sir. Right away, sir. Oh, boy scouts. Boy scouts. The Great Gilder Slave will be right back. Remember this, you wise and frifty shoppers. Parquet margarine, the margarine of craft quality, makes good bread taste better. It's a better buy for bread as well as budget. Delicious nourishing parquet margarine now costs less than it did a year ago. This tasty smooth spread is made from only the choice products of American farms and each delicious pound is fortified with 15,000 units of important vitamin A. Ask your grocer for parquet, a favorite spread for America's bread. Try it on rolls, muffins, pancakes, waffles. Treat yourself and your family to parquet margarine. That's P-A-R-K-A-Y parquet margarine made by craft. Well, Bessie, this has been quite a day. It certainly has, Mr. Gilder Slave. Kind of nice to get back at my desk as water commissioner. Was the mayor very angry with you? Angry? No. As a matter of fact, he thanked me. He did? Sure. He told me confidently he was glad the picture got torn up. Now he doesn't have to have that awful thing hanging in his office. Uh-oh, Bessie. Yes, sir? I want you to take a letter. But, Mr. Gilder Slave, it's almost five o'clock. I know, but this is one thing we're not going to put off. Ready? Who's it to, Mr. Gilder Slave? It's to everybody. Huh? Just take it down, Bessie. Subject, winter driving. According to the National Safety Council, the winter months bring a 50% increase in traffic accidents. It's up to every one of us to prevent these accidents in every way we can. Here's how you can help. Drive slowly and carefully over slippery streets. Keep your windshields and windows clean for good visibility. And be very sure your brakes are in good working order. These few extra precautions may save a life. And it might be yours. That's all, Bessie. Yes, sir. And by the way, Bessie, when you go home tonight, be careful how you cross the streets. Pedestrians have to do their part, too. I will. Good night, Mr. Gilder Slave. Good night, Bessie. Good night, folks. The Great Gilder Slave is played by Harold Curry. It was written by Gene Stone and Jack Robinson with music by Jack Meakin. Included in the cast are Walter Tetley, Louise Erickson, Lillian Randolph, Earl Ross, and Richard Legrand. This is John Wald saying good night for the Kraft Foods Company, makers of the famous line of Kraft quality food products. Tomorrow night, Ed Gardner will be Al Jolson's guest on the Kraft Music Hall, heard over most of these NBC stations. Don't miss it. I won't. Remember, tomorrow night, for exact time, see your local paper. And be sure to listen in next Wednesday and every Wednesday for the further adventures of the Great Gilder Slave. For hurry-up main dishes, get Kraft Dinner from your food store. Each package of Kraft Dinner contains a special quick-cooking macaroni that cooks fluffy light and tender in just seven minutes. Then you stir in the golden Kraft, grated for grand cheddar cheese flavor, and you have marvelous macaroni and cheese enough for four generous servings. Serve this quick, easy main dish often. The whole family will like it, and you'll like the way it saves you time and money. Remember the name. It's Kraft Dinner. This is NBC, The National Br...