 Adam Olinger. Feud Nation. No, no, nobody's sort of this. Okay. I'm gonna be trying out for a variety of roles today on BVS, short for Batman vs. Superman. Dawn of Justice. I'm excited. It's gonna be a great film. I have a good feeling about this film. It's gonna be great. That should be upside down. We know better now, don't we? Devils don't come from hell beneath us. They come from the sky. You think I'll fight him for you? Hang on, hang on. Fuck you, Batman. You think I'll fight him for you? Yes, yes I do. I think you will fight. Fight, fight, fight for that special lady in your life. She's safe on the ground. How about you? Close, but I am not talking about Lois. No, every boy's special lady is his mother. Martha, Martha, Martha. Now, the mother of a flying demon must be a witch. And what's the punishment for a witch? That's right. Death by fire. Next time they shine your light in the sky, don't go to it. Bury it. The bad is dead. Consider this mercy. Tell me. Do you bleed? Fuck off. You will. So that's the scene. I gotta look it back in my notes, but they don't fight right then. He says that cool line, and then it's just the scene's over. I mean, I'm not here to criticize. I'm here to get a role, but that seems kind of, that seems kind of like a fucking cock tease. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's okay. I'm a friend of your sons. I figured the cape. Excuse me, miss. The other night you took something that doesn't belong to you. Stealing's not polite. Is it stealing if you steal from another thief? You're not brave. Men are brave. You're psychotic. That's a three syllable word for any thought too big for little minds. It's time you learned what it means to be a man. That man's fucking cocking off a lot to this guy. I mean, holy shit. He's gotta have a great plan. Stay down. If I wanted it, you'd be dead already. I'm really confused why they are fighting. Like, they couldn't talk it out for a second. I mean, these are both reasonable guys, right? You're not brave. Men are brave. You say you want to help people, but you can't feel their pain, their mortality. It's time you learned what it means to be a man. What is his obsession with being a man? He's just humble brags, because Batman's a man, so that's all it takes. You don't know me, but I've known a few women like you. Oh, I don't think you've ever known a woman like me. I'm really trying with the accent. You know, I'm trying to lay it on thick. It's working or not, but whoa. Boys, Bruce Wayne meets Clark Kent. Ah, I love it. I love bringing people together. Oh, wow. That is a good grip. You should not pick a fight with this person. And now you will fly to him, and you will battle him to the death. Black and blue. Fight Night. The greatest gladiator match in the history of the world. God versus man. Day versus night. Son of Krypton versus Bat of Gotham. And now, God bends to my will. But the bells already been rung. I'm acting. An ancient Kryptonian deformity, blood of my blood, sent to destroy you. Your Doomsday. So I couldn't help but read further on into the script, and from the sounds of it that, like, being his blood had nothing to do with anything, because Doomsday immediately afterwards tries to kill Lex Luthor. So what was the point of the blood of his blood thing? Do you know the oldest lie in America, Senator? It's that power can be innocent. If man won't kill God, the devil will do it. This thing is from another world. My world. I've killed things from other worlds before. So there, poopy pants, this crazy bitch with you. I thought she was with you. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Is that how it's playing out? The red capes are coming. The red capes are coming. Look to the sky, and the red capes are coming. Not from below, because they come from above. Look to the sea, and the red capes are coming. Look to the air, they're still up there. Red capes are coming. The red capes are coming. I sang this song before on another episode. This is a remix of the one before. That doesn't rhyme. The red capes are coming. The red capes are coming. The red capes are coming. I've got a red cape. She's got a red cape. You've got a red cape. He got a red cape. Red capes are coming. The red capes are coming. You were never a god. You were never even a man. Honestly, the man all the time. It's always the man thing. What is his deal with men? Fuck. You're letting them kill Martha. The fuck? What does that mean? Why didn't you say that name? Find him. Save Martha. Why didn't you say that name, Martha? Why did you say that name? Martha! Where's Shane? Where's Martha? Martha! It's his mother's name. You fucking idiot. It's his mother's name. We have the same mother. It's so simple. How do you kill each other over it? The bell's already been rung. They've heard it. The creature is among the stars. They'll come. He'll come. And he's hungry. Ding dong. Ding dong. Ding dong. The red capes are coming. The red capes are coming. The red capes are coming. The red capes are coming. Look to the stars and the red capes are coming. You're a red cape and you're coming right now. I'm coming in my pants. Okay, I need to stop. Thank you for your time. I know I didn't get any of the parts. And frankly, this movie sounds like just the fucking worst. Although it is entirely possible that the script isn't the dumbest thing I've ever read in my life. And this is truly a brilliant piece of cinematic art put on paper. And us mere mortals can't even process it. You need to be a genius on another level to really dissect and interpret all the content in the woven tapestry of dialogue that's presented here. It's not what they're saying. It's what they're not saying. It's the visuals. It's the moments at hand that we can't see past. And you know what? I'm wrong. I'm a moron for not liking this film. I'm a total dumbass. And you are the real star. You're the real smart person because you see it. You get it. It's clear.