 Because I think the reason why so many black men, Latchel and Kevin, is on some level he's helping women in the cuss outs and everything be more pragmatic in their expectations. And I think the reason why that's important is because what shot him out of here was Average and Best, right? And Average and Best girl believed that because she made six figures, she could not respect a man who made less than her. Listen, it's the message right here. Black boy, tell me how you really feel, because I just want to build with you. Black girl, tell me how you really feel. I want to keep it real with you. I want to live better, eat better. I want to love better, sleep better. Yeah, I want to feel so aligned. So let's talk about Kevin Sam is being famous again, because on the flip side of what you're what you just described, you have the woman who hasn't done the work, who hasn't qualified herself as far as, you know, men are concerned, but still feeling deserving of a certain caliber of men. That's pretty much what his whole show is about. So what's going on there? Just using the number scale, why do two think they deserve tens? I don't know, but they it's beyond me. People have this heightened sense of self sometimes, and or people on flip side look at what they see outward and be like, oh, I wish I had that life. A man's going to come and give me that life. And that's all you're going to work towards, even if you ain't done a thing to make yourself deserving of these people on these levels in your mind, it will fix all your problems. So you condition and you train yourself to believe you deserve that without doing any work. You just like, or you see it from other people around you who are doing work and you thought because you're connected to them in some way, you know them that you deserve it as well. Because I see that often people that are attached to related to us, that's how I break it down. So it as simple as your co workers, you have those co workers that are going to be top tier, go above and beyond those ones just come in, you know, do their job, no great, no more, no less. And those ones that are there every day like, shit, this might be the day to let me go. But when raise time comes out, married increases and stuff, and the ones up here getting those high raises, the ones down here gonna have the most shit to say about it, even though they have done absolutely nothing above and beyond the standard to deserve what the ones up here deserve. They feel because they have the same position. They deserve it. And that's kind of the world we live in. You can do the bare minimum sometimes and in some cases, and be rewarded. Not often. And that's always those times are the ones that you see the most, but they're the ones that happen the least amount of time. They're the outliers, but because they're the ones in your face, your mind starts thinking, I can do this. I can have this. If they have it, then I can. So like bringing it back to those women who really do nothing, they see these women who have had these come ups for being there, being on subpar. Like, oh, I could be her. Should have happened for her. It happened for me. So they hold on to that hope. And that's what drives them. It's stupid. It's fucked. It makes no sense to ask a mind, but I believe that's where it comes from. So are most women or most women in our community delusional? I wouldn't say, you know, I wouldn't say most because again, that's not where I sit. I don't have myself surrounded by those type of people, but I could say some people may have that mentality and say in the world we live in, where it's like microwave anything, it can happen for me quickly because. Men too. Men too. Yeah. Oh yeah. Definitely men too. Definitely men too. About that damn rapper. That's another story for another day. But I mean, that kind of stuff like, oh, they did it. I could do it too because I have a little inkling of something. I could become this great thing. Nobody wants to put, everybody sees the successes, but nobody sees the work that goes into it. So you have a false sense of reality and it shapes whatever you do or whatever you think beyond that because you don't know like everyone sees a pretty picture. Nobody sees the hour of editing that went into doing just that one picture. That's the best way to say it. You see it and it's beautiful and you think boom, it was a moment capture, it needs to go on, but you don't know it took somebody an hour zooming in, zooming out, moving things over, cropping this, photoshopping that to get you that beautiful image. You want the success without the struggle. So from a woman's perspective and also like being very practical in real world, what do you think is the best piece of advice that you can give to young men on how to be, specifically how to be successful with black women? First thing I would tell any black man is to learn, get to know and love you first because if you cannot love yourself wholly, you can't love anyone else. You have to understand you, knowing the good in you, the bad in you, what triggers you, but you have to understand that you have to love yourself. After you found out you're doing the work to love yourself, then you have to find people and surround yourself with people who emulate what you want to be if you're truly out there trying to be better. So you can't be kicking it with your homeboys that's all about clubbing and bullshitting if you're either trying to find your queen and you're trying to establish a space for you and your queen to thrive. So you have to surround yourself with like-minded people actively seek out those men in marriages and positions that you want to be in who you believe are ones that are upstanding. And again, even in those, sometimes there's going to be some ones that have a nice little outer, outer showing, but are not true. So be intentional about who you're seeking out and always, always, always be introspective when seeking them out and working with them, understanding that, okay, the teaching me this, what am I learning, what am I gathering from it, what are they going to teach me in the long run, what about my past, about my present, about my future. So love yourself, seek out those who are going to help you become better, be intentional about it and beyond all of that, be true to yourself. Be realistic because when we start setting up those unrealistic goals and want to ourselves in these timelines that make no sense, you set yourself up to fail also. So just be realistic with yourself. You sound a lot like Kevin Samuels. That's fine. Would you say you don't agree with him? Like where does it deviate from that to... Kevin Samuels, I think it deviates from that when he starts becoming abusive to people. Because he has a way of being verbally abusive and disrespectful and you can be realistic without being disrespectful or abusive to people. You can let people know the fallacy and their thought process, the error in their ways without beating them down because we've been beating because we've been beating down enough. And I think that's where a lot of times we go wrong when we're trying, black people are trying to help others. We do it in a way that is publicly humiliating. And again, it's abusive and that takes you back to whatever trauma you've dealt with and possibly that deep seed rooted whatever we have going on from what happened just years ago. He is a bully and also he has no right to sit in that seat and be that judgemental. Let's talk about that. What do you mean? If you were a perfect being, you could rightfully condemn getting verbally assault and abuse people and it'd be fine accepted, but you're not. And he's talking about the whole the two to 10s thing, bro, you look like an anteater. So you're saying these women are not as beautiful. It's qualified. The grand scheme of things, you're not really either. Let's talk about why do you think not? Because my hesitation with that is kind of like I said earlier, we're not conditioned to receive criticism from anybody, if Jesus came down the day, they'd be like, he a hater. He hating on my style or whatever the case may be. So the perfect person who could critique doesn't exist. But I guess my pushback would be based on society's curriculum of a man, Kevin would sit in that top 1% seat. So he would occupy a space or a space adjacent to the type of man that most women claim to want. So is that not insight or you disagree completely? He ain't kind of man, I won't. But again, I'm not a typical woman. I don't fit in the box. So I guess that's kind of where my I differ from him and like, or not different from him, but not just I can't empathize with him. But again, like he said, no perfect being exists, but his criticisms, which are hard as people don't like being criticized, correct. But there's difference between saying that wasn't right and that's some bullshit. That's bull. That's complete bullshit. That's awful terrible. Like, it's not received the same. I think what's interesting about that. And I think he talked about it in a video. And that's why I asked you initially, what does it say about society? Because unfortunately, the reality is our community in particular doesn't like sugar. They prefer vinegar. Well, see, that's that's that's a problem for me because we expect African Americans to be able to take criticisms easier. We expect them to be tougher to have a thicker skin. You know, even back to when doctors believe that African Americans could do have a different pain threshold than other people. It makes no sense. It's another one of those fallacies that we need to delete from our thought process. So it's bigger than Kevin. It's bigger than Kevin. It's people thinking that, oh, they're black, they're straight shoes. They want it from the hip. You ain't got to, you know, sugarcoat and give some. No, fuck that. Some people need grace. Some folks need you to sit them down and have a conversation in the soothing and calm voice because their whole life they've been yelled at and told they wouldn't shit. They daddy wouldn't shit. They ain't going to be shit either. So then when you come here selling something, you ain't shit. You're wrong. You're doing it wrong. They're going to shut down on you because it's all they've heard. They can't hear that anymore. It can't, it can't be internalized anymore because they've all heard it all that wrong way. You got to find a way to, I thought loving people on their level, you got to connect with people in the best way they're going to be able to be receptive to what you're saying. I think what's tough about that. So for instance, I've been on YouTube since like 2015. And in a perfect world, like if I had things my way, I'd be doing documentaries about Nigeria. I wouldn't necessarily be doing this. Like this is important to me, but this isn't what people lashed onto. Similarly, Kevin Samuels was on YouTube five years before average at best. And he was nicer. He was critiquing men specifically, exclusively. But unfortunately, the market asked for him to be an asshole and he delivered. So what does it say about us as a society that we have an appetite for that exactly? Because people should bullshit. So people inevitably inherently go to what's more exciting, what's more controversial, what's going to get them more riled up doesn't mean it's right. It's provocative. Yes. It doesn't mean that's what you should propagate. That's what you should expand upon because you're becoming more of the problem. To me, it means that you need to find more creative ways to figure out how to make your things interesting. And I am one that believes heavily in quality over quantity because you could have thousands of people watching your message because you're mixing in drama and chaos and crap, but then you're putting that into the world. So what you get back, even though it may be fanciful and nice for the time being, that shit's hard to keep up with. It's hard to be the villain or the controversial one all the time, unless you feed on that kind of shit. But for someone like me who I'd rather reach for people and have a meaningful impact on their life and know that I did some good for those four people than to be out here supporting and screaming shit that makes no sense. It's ultimately going to cause more harm than good. So, but that's, I mean, that's integrity. Everybody doesn't have that kind of mentality. It's the world we live in. I think, you know, maybe it's because I'm a man. And as a man, I'm more data driven, I'm more objective and pragmatic. And I think Kevin Samuels argument would be based on the numbers, because he said he's reported about 50 marriages and people who rekindled like their relationship after filing for divorce and things like that. I think he would argue that he has had more success in a shorter amount of time when it comes to mending black men and black women than an Ayala, than an Oprah, than some of these voices that we would consider softer and kinder. So what do we do with that? How long is this success going to last? I would encourage you to look at the data five years down the line and compare them to them 10 years down the line, because where it's sensationalized for the moment, is it lasting? We're so focused on instant gratification. What's going to get us the most likes, the most views, but can you sustain that? I liken that to when the whole pandemic happened. Company I worked for had exponential growth. I'm talking like 50% over what we saw. So then you start basing and catering your plans and how you want the company to grow off of that growth. And then the next year you fall flat on your face because you don't have those same stimulus checks and extra money coming in from the government and then PPPP loans, whatever, how many P's are in them coming. So is he going to be someone that's going to have a resounding effect? Because when you start liking them to the Oprahs and the Yonlas, they have been around and we all know ain't nobody got Oprah money. And she's been preaching the same tune. While all of our ideas I don't agree with, it's working for her. And Mender will say that she hasn't had that success. She's actually been more successful in separating us more, right? Because I think the reason why so many black men, Latchel and Kevin is on some level he's helping women in the cussouts and everything be more pragmatic in their expectations. And I think the reason why that's important is because what shot him out of here was average at best, right? And average at best girl believed that because she made six figures, she could not respect the man who made less than her. And she felt like men in her league now are men who make six figures. And Kevin's argument was essentially that men and women are graded on two different curriculums. So instead of shitting on these men who are actually on your level because they have less zeros in their bank account, why not really come together with them in union and in respect and stop looking above your pay grade? So is that an important message or are we just telling women to stop dreaming? No, I mean, again, the man's not all bad, but I don't like his methods. I don't. I will never appreciate someone who has to beat someone else down to prove a point because I thought there's better ways to do it. While again, it's like, it's provocative. It gets the views up. But how do you make that person feel? For me, it's about how I make someone feel at the end of the day. Now, granted, but you're a woman. You're a woman. But again, I'm a woman who thinks a little bit different. So again, granted, I will go off on somebody. And I mean, when I go off on you, I'm trying to make you feel like you're lower than dirt, but you brought me to that point. But again, that doesn't feel good to me. I've done it. So I've said what I said, but in the day, I feel like this shit was wrong. And the same token, I know men who mentor other young men who believe heavily in not being, oh, I am a man, but getting to the root cause of what's going on, trying to understand them on a different level, teaching them that it's not all about being loud and being masculine to be what a good man is. So again, I think it comes back to respecting each other, using our voices in a way that is respectful and not abusive, because we've gone through it enough. We get abused enough, whether it be verbally, mentally, socially, we get enough from everywhere else and everyone else. We've got to be the ones who decide it's not okay. And until we as a people do that, we're going to keep on having these folks like the Kevin Samuels who get to tell them, I want to get you crazy and it'd be okay because we're allowing it. What is the line between a harsh truth and abuse? Where is that line? When you go from instructing and telling to attacking. So give me like an example, maybe even with Kevin Samuels, like what was something he did that you were like, okay, that's not what I said. When he was talking to a woman about not being, I don't want to say enough, he wasn't saying she wasn't enough, but what makes you think you deserve what these men of this way, and she's explaining, I think he really said, oh, bitch, you're crazy. You're giving life to someone else saying that to her. So it's not that she wasn't crazy, it's the fact that he said it like that. Yeah. You don't have to be abusive with it. I can tell my friends, because I mean, my friends and I have discussions all the time, they don't, and I often tell them, you're not going to like what I say, but I'm going to say it. This makes no sense. Hell, me and my girlfriend go through a time where you don't want to hear what I got to say to you, but it's the truth. And one thing that I try to do, I know people are going to do, I try to say it from my heart. I'm saying to see from my heart. So you can understand, and I'm looking you in your eyes. So you understand it's not coming from a bad place because it's not going to be good information. I can tell you, I don't like you. I don't like who you are as a person. I don't have to tell you, you ain't shit. You ain't never going to be shit. You don't do that. I don't have to tell you that. Low key to first one hurt more. Exactly. I'm looking you, I'm looking you in your eyes and telling you, you know, I don't like who you are as a person. Who you are makes me very uncomfortable. To me that has more impact than, man, fuck you. Because I've heard that before. I can take that. But you're just reiterating what I've heard as a child and the trauma and it just put me that same place I put you in that box. But when I'm going there so far as to tell you, you hurt me. What you said to me made me feel like I was less than. I didn't appreciate it. And you know it's coming from a place where I'm trying to make you better, but also expressing my truth. You're able to internalize it better. It makes more sense. It may cut you a little more, but it resonates. Okay. Any final words, anything you want to add to this dialogue about black men and black women not being able to get a longer black men, you are enough as you are as long as you're being better black women. Sometimes you're the problem.