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Remember, independent tobacco experts. Again, name lucky strike, first choice. Lucky strike, first choice over any other brand. The Lucky Strike program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Rochester, Dennis Day, and yours truly, Don Wilson. Ladies and gentlemen, since time immemorial, man has tried to achieve fame. We can't bring you a man who has left his footprints in the sands of time. But here's one who left his footprints on truth or consequences, the walking man, Jack Benny. This is Bing Bong Bell talking. And Don, am I glad this contest is over. For eight weeks, all I did was walk, walk, walk, walking up and down again, walk, walk, walking back and forth again, boots, boots. Walking day and night again, boots, boots, walk. That's all I've been doing. Jack. Walking, walking, walking. Jack, control yourself. I wanted to break the monotony. I tried to run. They wouldn't let me. I tried to crawl, hop, skip, jump, anything. But no, I had to walk, walk. I've got a bunion so big that next week, it's going to have its own show. Stella Callas. Oh, now what I went through. Well, Jack, what are you complaining about? It was a very exciting contest. Everybody had a lot of fun, and it certainly didn't cost you anything. It didn't, eh? I wore a hole in my shoe and lost 80 cents. Some pun. Well, what puzzles me is that with millions of people trying to guess who the walking man was, how did they manage to hide your identity? Don, you'll never know the trouble we went through to keep it a secret. Every Saturday night, when Ralph Edwards went on the air, they picked me up in a big black limousine with the curtains drawn and drove me to mysterious hideouts. The loneliest places they could find where I'd be all alone. No. Yes. Don, hey, it was good acting there, didn't it? I didn't know we could do it. Say that again, Don. No. Oh. No, Don, you've never seen. Come here. You've never seen such mysterious hideouts. One week, they took me to an old deserted house at Malibu Beach. Another time, they took me to an old abandoned stable. One night, they even took me to a theater that was showing the horn blows at midnight. I mean, what eerie places. I've never had eight weeks of such. Hello, Jack. Oh, hello, Mary. I was just telling Don about the walking man contest, what experiences I've had. Did you tell Don what happened last night when that led you guess who it was? How you tried to kill yourself? Mary. Tried to kill himself? Why? Well, Jack misunderstood the rules. He thought he was supposed to get all those prizes. I didn't want all of them. I would have been satisfied if they'd just given me that diamond ring, that $1,000 diamond ring. But what prize is a ring, an aeroplane, a boulder, an automobile, a three-room trailer? I tell you, Mary, it's a good thing the contest ended last night. Why? Because next week, they were going to give away the Golden Gate Bridge, Boulder Dam, and Judy Canova. Believe me, Mary, these last few weeks have certainly been hectic. You know, I've not only been the walking man, but I've had to make speeches at a lot of dinners. The Al Jolson dinner, Kay Kaiser, Luella Parsons. I know, Jack. I was at the Parsons dinner with you. Oh, that's right. You see how mixed up I am, Mary. I don't know. Mary, I saw pictures of that affair on the paper, and I want to tell you that was a beautiful evening gone you were wearing. Well, thank you, Jack. You're welcome. Mary, I'm the one who complimented your dress. Why did you thank Jack? He made it. Yes, sir. Why, Jack, I didn't know you could solve. Oh, he's a dinger on a singer. Yeah, darn right. Just give me a pattern, two yards of material, oil my bobbin, and watch me go. Mary really did look beautiful at the Luella Parsons dinner. And, Don, you should have been there. Georgie Dessal was master of ceremonies, and he made the funniest speech. Funny speech when he got two laughs. Little one, Jack. Then Eddie Counter got up, and he entertained for 20 minutes. Gee, was it that long? I fell asleep. And then Bob's hope got up, and he was a riot. Some riot. How do you do, ladies and gentlemen? This is Bob talking at the Luella Parsons dinner hope, telling you if you don't go to your druggist and buy pepsidon, you'll have to go to your dentist and buy cuspids. Then he took out Eddie Counter's teeth and explained the joke. What a night. Well, Jack, I don't care what you say. It was still a very swanky affair. Well, Mary, if it was such a swanky affair, you think they'd serve something better than bird's nest soup. That wasn't bird's nest soup. What? When you bent over to take a bow, you're too pay fell in it. Oh, so that's what it was. I thought that, hey, hey, Mary, here comes Dennis. He seems to be mumbling to himself. Yeah. I wonder what. Bing Bong Bell, it's 10, and only one can tell. The master of the metropolis fits his. Dennis. Huh? Oh, hello, Mr. Benny. What are you doing? Promise you won't tell anybody? No. I think I know who the walking man is. You think you know who the walking man is? Yeah. Who is it? Sophie Tucker. Dennis, what in the world makes you think it's Sophie Tucker? Well, she's the last of the Red Hot Mama's. Bing Bong Bell. All right, she's a Red Hot Mama. What's the Bing Bong Bell? Fire engines. Oh, Dennis, look, in the first place, the walking man is a man. In the second place, it was guessed last night by a woman. Let's see, what was her name again? Sophie Tucker. No. It was won by a lady in Chicago named Florence Hubbard. And the walking man is me. What's the second name? Who's? Me's. And if you'd have been here at the start of the program, you'd know what I'm talking about. Where were you? Oh, I'm sorry I was late, but I was out buying myself a car. A car? But, Dennis, you just bought a new car last month. I know, I traded it in for a used car. Wait a minute, kid. Why should you trade in a brand new car and drive around in a used car? Oh, I want people to think I have money. Oh, boy, did I put it over on that dealer. He gave me a 39 Plymouth, and I stuck him with my 47 Cadillac. Dennis, what was wrong with the Cadillac? He was out of gas. Dennis, you sure did put it over on him. Yeah, and all I have to pay is $40 a month. $40 a month? How long do you have to pay them? 1,200 months. Well, Dennis, 1,200 months, that's 100 years. By the time you finish paying, you'll be over 120 years old. Well, that's not bad for a kid my age. Yeah, yeah, now, Dennis, before you sing your song, I want to ask you, no, no, forget it. Go ahead and sing. Jack, what were we going to ask him? Well, I was going to ask him, no, no, go ahead and sing it. Jack, I don't know what it is, but go ahead, ask him. Oh, all right, Dennis, in this deal you made with that used car dealer, what happens if you fail to keep up the payment? Well, then my other program will be called The Day in the Life of Honest John. What is saying, Dennis? You think after eight years, I'd know enough to keep my mouth. Little I Day sung by Dennis Doe. I mean, I'm like so mixed up today. Dennis, you may be kind of silly sometimes about the things you say, but when you sing, your voice is simply beautiful. I mean, it has a quality that seems to improve week after week. That's awfully nice of you to say that, kid. Kid? I'm 120 years old. All right. That kid got one subject. You can't get him off of it for... Oh, hello, Phil. Never mind that. Hello, Jackson. I want to have a little talk with you. Why? What's the matter, Phil? Plenty's the matter, Jackson. Hi, you live. You listen to me. Last week, he gave me that cross-examination about that's what I like about the South, and now we're doing a program. That can wait until we're finished. No, it can't, Dad. Last week, he kept picking on my song and picking on it and picking on it. And when I went home, well, well, I did something I haven't done in a long time. What was that? I cried. Well, the last time you cried was in 1920 when they voted prohibition. You mind telling me, but this is all about... Marriott's nothing. No, it ain't, huh? You weren't here, Libby. But last week, Jackson told me that the words that that's what I like about the South didn't make sense, and then he even had the nerve to say that there wasn't a town called Duwadiddy. No. Hey, you're as good as Don Wilson. Look, Phil, after the program... We're going to talk about it right now. I had Alice look Duwadiddy up in the encyclopedia and she wrote down the whole history of the town. Now, here, Libby, read it to them. Why don't you read it yourself? This is in handwriting, Lib. I'm only a print man. I'll read it. I went to college. I can read both. Yeah, look, Marriott, we haven't got... Quiet, Jack. You've got this coming to you. Duwadiddy, Mississippi. Duwadiddy is a town located in the southern part of the state at the foot of the Wadu-Diddy Mountains and on the banks... What? On the banks of the Diddy-Wadu River. Diddy-Wadu? This river is famous because it runs backwards. Now, let's get on with the program. Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Let her read it, Jackson. Go on. Go on, Libby. The principal industry of Duwadiddy is the manufacturing of boxback coats and button shoes. This town also plays an important part in American history. It is famous because the seminal Iroquois battles fought there. Abraham Lincoln opened his presidential campaign there. And the town is also mentioned in that famous folk song. That's what I like about the south. Folk song? Hey, Jackson. What? Nah. Still all right, so there is such a town. But how did you happen to pick Duwadiddy to put in your song? Frankie, my guitar player was born there. He told me what a wonderful place it is. Well, of such a wonderful place, how come Frankie left it? Well, Jackson, he didn't exactly leave. You see, one dark night, they took him to the city limits, put him on the main highway, faced him towards the west, and gave him a hint to leave town. A hint? They said he's pants on fire. No! He went through Kansas like Haley's Comet. Well, that was 15 years ago. I know that tar is hard to get off. But at least Frankie can remove the feathers. He looks like a seagull sitting there. Now, come on, let's get out of here. Wait a minute, not so fast, Jackson. Take it easy. Now look, Alice told me to say that unless a retraction is forthcoming from you, our association must be terminated. Alice told you to say that? Yeah. What does it mean? It means that I have to apologize to you, and this whole silly thing started out with a... Jack, why do you and Phil keep arguing over that song? It's such a simple thing to settle. All right. Phil, if you want to apologize... meet to apologize to you, I do. Do you accept the apology? I do. I now pronounce you man and wife. Look, we're not getting married. Think of the children. Oh, shall I? Now that I've apologized, I hope you're satisfied. I'm happy if you are. Walking man. Oh, you heard the truth of consequences last night. What do you mean last night? I knew it was you the minute I heard your footsteps. You know, there's only one thing that threw me. What? I couldn't hear your cane. Well, I've got news for you, Phil. They wanted you to be the walking man, but they could never find you in that position. Now, come on, Don. We've got a play to do tonight, so give us the introduction. Wait a minute, wait a minute, Jack. Don't you think we ought to do the commercial first? The commercial? Oh, yes, I forgot. Well, I have the sportsman right here. Oh, the quartet? Good. Good. Then you'll be happy to know that when they heard you were the walking man, they stayed up all night preparing a number, especially for you. For me? Is that right, boys? Hmm. Well, fine, fine, let's hear it. He walked alone, and he was lonesome and blue. No one knew. No one ever spoke to. Just imagine my plight. Eat Saturday night. He walked alone and thought that someone would surely soon get scared. No one ever said yes. That's him. When they guessed they'll be there. I tore my hair. They thought it was Churchill. Eddie Cantor was named. Bing Fawze. He got a call. They guessed Harry Truman. Patrillo was blamed. Then Richard Dix. And that's not all. Jack walked alone, and he was lonesome and blue. From La Brea to Ga, I needed starch in my arches. How my Tootsies did swell. Oh, bing bong bell. He walked alone, and Whisky had every boon right every side. My favorite brand. With men from Kentucky who know them the best, it's LSMFT. Jack's not from Kentucky. No, he's from the West, but still he loves. He mustn't rest on the bed. It was truth or consequence. Now that was a cute idea. I thought you'd like it. I didn't say I liked it. I said it was a cute idea. What I mean is I appreciate the fact that the boys... Come in. Telegram for Jack, Benny. Take it, Mary. Here, boy, here's something for you. But Mr. Benny, this shoe's got a hole in it. Just shake it. There's 20 cents in the lining there. Now go. Mary, who's the telegram from? Fred Allen. From Fred Allen? What does he say? Uh, dear Jack, you may be happy to know that when the contest first started, I knew it was you. I can recognize the heel, whether he's talking or walking. How do you like that? Oh, wait a minute. There's more. I have something else I can call you, but if I put it in the telegram, they'll fade your program. Two jokes in a row. He must have called in a writer. You know, Mary, the only reason Allen sent me that wire is that he's jealous of everything that happens to me. Anything I do, he makes an issue out of it. He doesn't like the way I play my violin. On that issue, even the Democrats are united. Democrats, Democrats, Democrats. Hey, that's it. What? If it isn't Sophie Tucker at Henry Wallace. Oh. Dennis, I try to tell you that the walking man has been guessed already. It's me. Now, you don't have to try and guess it anymore. The whole thing is over. It's finished. Oh, there's a phone. Hello? Hello, Master. This is the Metropolis. What's going on, Rochester? I was what? Well, I couldn't help it. Because of the contest, I had to stay up all night with my writers and rewrite my program for today. Did you write in a part for me? No. Then what am I doing on the phone? I don't know. You called me. Okay, then I'll hang up. No, wait a minute. Wait a minute, Rochester. Are you listening to the program? Uh-huh. Well, we had to stay up all the last night and write it. How does it sound? Do you want the truth or the consequences? Look, never mind. I'll find out after the show. So long, Rochester. Goodbye. Oh, say, wait a minute. Have there been any phone calls from you today? Well, I suppose it's been ringing all day. All day, long people have been calling up to congratulate you. For being the walking man? Hope for being able to walk. Now, stop with the joke. By the way, boss, I got the garage all cleaned out. The furniture moved out of the living room and the truck door wide open. When does the truck come? The truck? Oh, Rochester. We were mistaken about that. I found out that I don't get those prizes. You see, they go to the winner of the contest. You mean we ain't going to get that airplane? No. Or the boat? I'm afraid not, Rochester. The trailer? No, I'm sorry. And we even going to spend those two glorious weeks together in Sun Valley? Those prizes go to Florence Hubbard of Chicago, Illinois. Oh, then I explained the letter I found on your dresser. Letter? Here it is. It's in your handwriting that says, my dear Miss Hubbard, I'm six foot two with broad shoulders, blonde wavy hair, and Johnson. Rochester. You're single, congenial, compatible, and dance divinely. Rochester. We'll meet you at the train. Understand you already have the ring. Rochester. Hey, boys. What? You want me to finish this for you? How would you know what to say? I'll take out some of the things you wrote in that other letter. Which letter? The one you wrote to the lady who won the Irish sweepstakes. Rochester won't be necessary to send any letter. Florence Hubbard, the winner of the Walking Man contest, is going to be on my program next Sunday. So is Ralph Edwards. Good, good. By the way, boys, those contests are wonderful. Why don't you have one and give away prizes? Oh, I don't know, Rochester. What kind of prizes could I give? Well, you could give away your car, your violin, an old toupee, and two glorious weeks that do harm to it. Say that's a pretty good idea. I'll think it over. So long, Rochester. Goodbye, boys. Gee, I hope Florence is cute. Ladies and gentlemen, I want to join Ralph Edwards in thanking the millions of people who entered the Walking Man contest and contributed so generously to the American Heart Association. These contributions totaled over one and a half million dollars, and this money will be used for scientific research to combat heart disease America's number one killer. Even though this contest is over, fundraising campaigns will continue because the need is still great. I also want to congratulate Ralph Edwards for the wonderful job he's doing and thank him for inviting me to participate in such a worthy cause. Jack will be back in just a minute. But first... ... Independent tobacco experts again name Lucky Strike first choice. Lucky Strike first choice over any other brand. That statement is backed up by an impartial crossley poll just completed in 11 southern tobacco states. This poll taken among tobacco experts reveals the smoking preference of the men who really know tobacco. Yes? For their own personal smoking enjoyment, independent tobacco experts again name Lucky Strike first choice. Lucky Strike first choice over any other brand. These are the experts, auctioneers, buyers, and warehousemen, and we believe their overwhelming preference for Lucky Strike has a direct relationship to the quality tobacco we purchase for Lucky's. You've heard the poll results. Now listen to what Mr. SM Cutts, ace tobacco auctioneer from North Carolina, recently said. Year after year, I've seen the makers of Lucky Strike by fine tobacco, right prime leaf. I've smoked Lucky 17 years. So for your own real, deep down smoking enjoyment, remember... LSMFT! LSMFT! Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. So round, so firm, so fully packed, so free and easy on the draw. Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, be sure to hear the Phil Harris Alice Face Show on Sundays in a day in the life of Dennis Day on Wednesday. And on my program next week, our guests will be Florence Hubbard, the winner of the Walking Man Contest, and Ralph Edwards. Mary, I've done so much walking with this contest. How about you and me going for a ride up to Mulholland Drive? And you know, and park. No, thanks. The last time I did that, I became the walking lady. Oh, yes, yes. Good night. This is NBC, the national broadcasting company.