 The Jack Benny Program, presented by Lucky Strike. Quality of product is essential to continuing success. Exhibit A, Lucky Strike. Fine tobacco is what counts in a cigarette and day in, day out consistently. Lucky strike means fine tobacco. Lucky strike presents the man who knows. The tobacco auctioneer. Mr. Lucien Perdan, Veteran Auctioneer of Springfield, Kentucky has sold more than 240 million pounds of tobacco at auction. Recently, he said, At every auction I've attended, I've seen the makers of Lucky Strike buy a fine quality tobacco. That fine, ripe smoking leaf that makes a smooth, mild smoke. Smoke luck is myself for 22 years. Season after season, independent tobacco experts like Mr. Purdham can see the makers of Lucky Strike consistently select and buy that fine, that light, that naturally mild tobacco. Remember, L-S-M-F-T, L-S-M-F-T. Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. And fine tobacco means real, deep down, smoking enjoyment for you. So smoke that smoke of fine tobacco, Lucky Strike. Yes, next time you buy cigarettes, ask for Lucky Strike. So round, so firm, so fully packed, so free and easy on the draw. We're honoring Jack Belly with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Rochester, Dennis Day, and yours truly, Don Wilson. Ladies and gentlemen, as you all know, the new year was ushered in by one of the nation's gridiron classics played in the Rose Bowl before a record crowd of 93,000 people. This game always produces statistics that are mulled over by sports lovers for weeks to come. 475 yards gained by running. 314 yards by passing, resulting in seven touchdowns and seven conversions. Yes, even the start of our show has been stunned at the amazing figures compiled by this football classic. 93,000 people at $5 apiece. Oh, gosh, what a game. That certainly was, Jack. It seems that the Rose Bowl game gets more exciting every year. You're not kidding. I can remember when it was only 80,000 people at $3 apiece. But I will say one thing, Don, you gotta give the California Chamber of Commerce a lot of credit. They sure think fast. What do you mean, Jack? Well, during the half, they had a man climb up a ladder and paint a stem on the USC score so it would look like an orange. 93,000 people. Oh, hello, Mary. Hello, Jack. Mary, I'm glad you're feeling better. Yes, Mary, it's certainly good to have you back on the show. Well, Jack, I hated a Miss Lassandy's program, but I had that thing that's been going around, virus X. Yes, yes, I know. Did you have a good doctor, Mary? Oh, Don, I must tell you about him. He's a new doctor in Beverly Hills and he's the handsomest man you ever saw. Oh, fine. Gee, he's cute. And he's a bachelor, too. Really? All the girls in my neighborhood came over and asked me to throw germs on them. Oh, Mary, you fall for everybody. When you first got a fever, why didn't you send for my doctor? I did, Jack, and a fine doctor you've got. What? Jack, how long has he been treating you? Oh, for quite a while. Well, I've got news for you. He's a horse doctor. He is not a horse doctor. He isn't, eh? When he got to my house, he threw a blanket over me and walked me around the room to cool me off. What? And when he started to braid my hair, I threw him out. Oh, and that explains it. One day I called him up and told him my ankle's hurt and he sent over four bandages. Well, Mary, what about the new doctor you called? What did he say? He told me I had virus X and I shouldn't run tomorrow. Oh, Mary, stop kidding, will ya? You know, you should just be happy that you're well again. I am. And Jack, I thought it was awfully nice of Alice Faye to take my place last Sunday. It certainly was, Mary, and she was just marvelous on the show. She did a terrific job. Well, she did, eh? Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Yes, she did. And I was amazed how she could come in here at the last minute, pick up the script with no rehearsal, and give such a sensational performance. Is it true that she bleaches her hair? Mary, now stop being catty. There's no way to start the new year. Oh, by the way, Jack, have you made any new year's resolutions? No, no, I haven't, Don. Well, I have. I made a resolution to cut my food in half. Well, good, good. I'm glad to hear that, Don. It isn't good manners to take a whole steak and stuff it in your mouth. No, no, Jack, I'm serious about losing weight. I've given up bread, butter, and potatoes. Don, if you ever stop eating potatoes, Idaho will secede from the union. Speaking of food reminds me of eating, you see. And speaking of eating reminds me of my sponsor who makes it possible. And speaking of the sponsor reminds me of the commercial. Now I've got something swell this week for our quartet. Where are the sportsmen, Don? Well, Jack, you remember they all had very bad colds last week. Yes. Well, they're not over it yet, and right now they're home in bed. But, Don, what are we gonna do? We have to have a commercial. They thought of that, so they sent their wives over. Their wives? Yes, yes, there they are, standing right over there. Oh, yes, yes. Hello, girls. It's awfully nice of you ladies to come over and help us out. Have they got a number prepared, Don? Oh, yes, Jack, and it's quite unusual. I'm sure you'll like it. Okay, girls, let's hear it. Thanks so much for helping us out. Well, you're welcome, and I wanna thank you for sending your doctor over to take care of my husband. Oh, how does your husband feel? Well, I don't know. He just looks up at me with his big brown eyes and goes... Mary was right, huh? Well, goodbye, girls. Wouldn't I see two of them at your house on New Year's Eve? Yeah, Jack, we had a lot of fun, didn't we? We certainly did. And Mary, I'm certainly glad that you're well enough to attend my New Year's Eve party. Oh, so am I, Don. I had such a good time, but I haven't had a chance to tell you what happened after Jack and I left your house. Mary. What happened, Mary? Tell me. Well... It's all over. Forget about it. I will not. Oh. Don, it was after midnight. And as you remember, we were still at your house having a wonderful time. Gee, you know, Mary, this is the best New Year's Eve party I've ever been to. Me too. But it's way past midnight. How about taking me home? Okay, Mary, sure. Wait till I say goodbye. Goodbye, Don. It was a wonderful party. Glad you enjoyed it so long, Jack. Goodbye, Mrs. Wilson. Goodbye, Jack. Now, let's see. Where's Phil? You're standing on him. How do you like that? Well, it's Don's fault. He shouldn't have let him drink so much. What do you mean, Don's fault? Phil was this way when he got here. He was not. Mary, when Phil arrived, I opened the door and he fell in like a body in a murder mystery. Now, come on, let's go. Gee, Mary, isn't this a nice night out? What sure is. What a beautiful sky. You know, the stars look so close and they seem to be different colors. Red, pink, blue, yellow. Jack, that's confetti on your glasses. Anyway, Mary, it was certainly a wonderful New Year's Eve party. Gee, we sure had a lot of... Pardon me, folks, pardon me. Huh? Now, what do you think I ought to get my wife for Christmas? Mr. Christmas was a whole week ago. This is New Year's. You mean it's already 1945? It's 1948. Oh my goodness. I'd better get home. Everybody celebrates in their own way. See, Mary, you notice at the party when the New Year came in, everybody got sentimental and they quieted down. Well, what do you mean they got sentimental? Well, they stopped singing and dancing. Well, they had to. The stroke of 12, Patrilla came in and shut off the phonograph. Oh, is that who it was? Well, here's your house, Mary. Yeah. Mary. What is it, Jack? Well, since this is the New Year, how about giving me a little kiss? Oh, Jack, let's not go through that again. You always get so emotional. I do not. You do too. The last time I kissed you, you ran home, threw yourself across the bed and cried for an hour. Well, that was my own fault. I had two glasses of cooking sherry. Anyway. Well, good night, Jack, and happy New Year. Good night, Mary. Hey, wait a minute. How would you like to go to the Rose Bowl game? Say, that would be wonderful. But have you got tickets? There's plenty of time. The game doesn't start tomorrow afternoon. Tomorrow? It's already 2 o'clock in the morning. Ah, don't worry about it. I'll get the tickets. Come on, let's go in your house. I want to use your phone. That's an old excuse, but I'll take a chance. Oh, don't be silly. Let's see, who can I? Well, I'll be darned. There's the blanket. You weren't kidding about my doctor, were you? Now, who can I get tickets from? Oh, I know. I'll call Jeff Cravette, the USC coach. USC coach? But Jack, he may be asleep. What do you mean asleep? He hasn't slept since the Notre Dame game. Oh, I know who'll let me have his extra tickets if he has any. Who? Ronald Coleman. Oh, Jack, you wouldn't call Mr. Coleman at this hour. Why not? This is New Year's Eve. Hand me the phone. Hey, da-dee-da-dam, da-dam, da-dee-ah, da-dam. Yee-pew-pew-pew-pew-pew-pew-pew-pew-pew-pew-pew. Ronald Coleman residence, Sherwood the Butler speaking. Oh, Sherwood, this is Mr. Benny. May I speak to Mr. Coleman? Mr. Coleman is asleep, sir. Sleep already? Didn't he celebrate New Year's Eve? Oh, yes. We had a rip-roaring time here till almost nine o'clock. Nine o'clock? How could you celebrate the New Year that early? Where on London time, you know. Oh, yes. Well, Sherwood, do you know if Mr. Coleman has any extra tickets to the Rose Bowl? Oh, I'm sure he hasn't any. Oh, well, in that case, Sherwood, I'm sorry I woke you up, but I do want to take this opportunity to wish you a happy New Year. And that 1948 will be a year that you and yours will enjoy not only health and happiness. I say, old Jeff, would you mind saying goodbye? There's a drop blowing up my night, Sherwood. Goodbye, Sherwood. Goodbye. Well, have any luck, Jack? No, the Coleman's didn't have any extra tickets. But they have cross-ventilation. What? Don't worry, Mary. I'll get the tickets if I have. Hey, Mary, look out the window. Look who's passing. My pal, my buddy, open the window quick. Hey, Norman, Norman, have you got two extra tickets to the Rose Bowl game? After 2.30, I'm going to bed. Wait a minute, Mary. I just thought of something. For the Rose Bowl game, they always put about 6,000 tickets on public sale. All we have to do is go down and buy them at the box office. But, Jack, there'll be a million people there. All right, so look how early we'll be. I'll call Rochester, have them pick us up in my car, and take us out to Pasadena. Is this Hill, Jack? Sure. Rochester, give it a little more gas. OK. How can you suggest such a thing? I couldn't get rid of this car. It's like an old friend. Been with me through thick and thin, through rain and shine, through joy and sorrow. Through McKinley and Truman. Seriously, Jack, maybe you can get a new car through Fred Allen. You know, he's changing sponsors this week, and he's going on the air for Ford. Mary, I wouldn't ask Fred Allen a favor for anything. But if I were stranded on some foreign island, hungry, and Allen came to me with food, I'd rather starve than accept a favor from him. How can you say that? A month ago, you sold him Christmas cards. That's business. Hey, Rochester, turn to the right on Camden Drive. I know a shortcut to Pasadena. OK. Mary, I hope we can get tickets. I wouldn't miss this game for anything in the world. It's going to be. Oh, Jack, look at that poor old man. Where? Oh, yes. Look at that old man hobbling along in the sidewalk. That's a shame. Why feel sorry for him? He's going faster than we are. Never mind. Stop the car. Say, mister, would you like a lift? I said, would you like a lift? Where are you going? Pasadena to the Rosie Bowl. Oh, you're going to see the game? See it. I'm playing half back for USC. The reason I'm so anxious to see this game, I don't know if I told you or not, but I bet on USC. You did? Yeah, did I get a sucker? He took Michigan and gave me 40 points. You know, that's a sure thing. Hey, Rochester, slow down. There's a parking lot. What does a sign say, Mary? Park here for the Rose Bowl, $1. What? A dollar? I have all the profiteering rackets. $1. That's outrageous. That's the most. Boss, boss, that's your own house. Gee, 15 cars already. It's only 4 o'clock in the morning. Now, Rochester, let's get the Pasadena as fast as we can. I don't want to miss getting those Rose Bowl tickets. Say, Jack, look, we left Phil at Don's house, and there he is walking toward us. Well, I'll be Don. Rochester, stop the car. Hey, Phil. Phil. Hiya, Jackson. Phil, do you know what condition you were in when I left Don? Yeah, Jackson, I felt awful. It's the first time I ever passed out after the first glass. After the first glass? I haven't say, what were you drinking? Milk. Milk? Yeah, some wise guy turned out the lights and handed it to me. But Phil, milk is good for you when you're drinking. It neutralizes the alcohol. It makes you feel good the next morning. Come on, Daddy. Now tell me about the birds and the bees. Well, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. Shamed of what? So I've been having a little fun for the last two nights. Last two nights? Everybody else has a party on New Year's Eve, but you have to start your party the night before. So what? Henry Wallace started his party the night before that? Ha, ha, ha, ha. That nasty old milk ain't slowed you down a bit. Hey, Phil, I don't think you should be walking around like this. Why don't you get in the car and let us drive you home? Oh, no, I feel fine now. I'll get home all right. Hey, Jackson, when did you get this brand new car? What? You better help men, Jack. Yeah. Now, look, you don't have to help me. I'm going to walk home. But, Phil, when you go out, does Nala's worry about you? Oh, sure. That's why she's so disnoted to my lapel. No, let me see that. What does it say, Mary? To whom it may concern. If lost, remove ropes from coat pockets. Stand them up in time to a lamppost. Oh, well, and he's all right. So long, Phil. I'll be seeing you Sunday. OK, happy New Year, Jackson. Happy New Year. Now, hurry up, Rochester. I want to be sure and get those tickets. Gee, standing here so long. What a crowd. Yeah. Here it is, almost noon, and we've been standing. The line doesn't seem to. Hey, you back there, stop shoving. Wonder how long it'll be before we go. I said, stop shoving. Yeah, I can't understand, Mary. People go to football games. It brings out the worst. Look, I warned you twice. And if you shove me once more, I'll drag you out of line, and I'll. I can't help it, Mr. People are pushing me. I don't care. Jack, control yourself. Lucky for her, she's wearing glasses. Say, I'm getting kind of hungry. Me, too. I think there's a man selling hot dogs over there. Where? Oh, yeah. Hey, mister, you with the hot dog? He cleaned the middle with the mustard on top. He's doing the right thing and the wrong thing. Hi, it's Mr. Kitzel. Hello, Mr. Bieny. Happy New Year, Miss Livingston. Hello, Mr. Kitzel. Say, this is a coincidence. We first met you selling hot dogs here at the Rose Bowl two years ago. Yeah, now you're back here again. I've been selling hot dogs for now, until 20 years. 20 years, eh? Well, how's the hot dog business? Well, it's pretty good, but I don't relish it. Relish? Yes, you did. Very good, too. Well, give me a couple of hot dogs. Coming up. Oh, by the way, there's a slight meat shortage. Where did you get your Frankfurters? From a doctor in Beverly Hills. Must be your horse, Doc. Mary, he means a butcher. Two Frankfurters, Mr. Kitzel. Do you want the pickle in the middle and the mustard on top or the mustard in the middle and Johnny Logan on top? Mr. Kitzel, stop making jokes, and here's your money. Thank you, Mr. Bieny, and happy New Year. Same to you, same to you. Mary, he's a cute guy. Don, at this line doesn't seem to move up at all. Boy, I sure hope we can get tickets. I'm so anxious to see the games. Hey, bud. Bud. Huh? You say you want to get some tickets? You say you want to see the game? Tell you what I'm going to do. What? I got a pair of tickets smacking on the 50-yard line. And you can have them for only 75 bucks. Look, Mr. Yougot on nerve. Charming $75 for a pair of puttons. Why, there's a crook out in Beverly Hills charging a buck to park cons. You came here. Hey, you back there. I warned you three times to stop shoving. If you don't, I'll... You what? Gee, somebody must have taken her place. I took her place. I'm her husband. Well, congratulations. She's a lovely girl. Now, where's that wise guy that was trying to sell me those? He's gone. Oh, yes. You know, Mary, it's a shame. Dennis wanted to see this game today, but he's got a bad cold, too, and he had to stay in bed. Gee, more people of it. Jack, Jack, move up. You're next at the ticket window. Oh, yes, yes, yes. All right, Mr. How many tickets do you want? How much, how much are they? $5.50. Well... Here's my money, Jack. No, no, no, no, Mary, no, no. I'll pay for these. I'll buy my own. I've still got money left from the May Company. Well, OK. One ticket, Mr. Here you are. Give me a ticket right next to hers, will you? They're right together. Boy, are you too lucky. Those were the last tickets. Come on, Mary, come on, let's get out of here. Boy, we are lucky. I had my heart set all year on seeing this game, but I'm going to see it now. Come on, Mary, we're over at tunnel 16. OK. You know, it's kind of chilly. I want to get a cup of coffee first. You want one, Mary? No, I don't want to get mixed up in that crowd. I'll go ahead and hold our seats. OK. See you in a few minutes, Mary. I don't let him start the game without me. Let's see, where can I get the coffee? Oh, there's a stand over there. He had a dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee. Gee, I can't wait. Boy, it was a full night. Stood in line for five hours. It was worth it to get this ticket. Ah-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee. Hey, mister. Mister. Huh? How many tickets you got to the game? One. What'd you pay for it? $5.50. Want to sell it? Oh, no. No serene, not me. I'll give you $6 for it. Are you crazy? I've been looking forward to this game all year. I've been up all night calling people, begging people for these tickets. I drove all the way down here from Beverly Hills in that traffic. I waited in line five hours to get this ticket. $7. It's guys like you that always try to. How much? $7. $7? Yep. Mister, do me a favor, will you? What? There'll be a girl sitting next to you. Tell her you picked my pocket. OK, here's your money. Thanks. So long, mister. Yeah-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee. Gee, I hate to miss that game. But then again, with this money, I could, wait a minute, what kind of a $5 bill would he give me? Look at the picture on it. Mad Man Months. Back in just a minute. But first, quality of product is essential to continuing success. And lucky strike means fine tobacco. LSMFT. Yes, lucky strike means fine tobacco. And fine tobacco is what counts in a cigarette. Remember what happens at the tobacco auctions? At market after market, independent tobacco experts can see the makers of Lucky Strike consistently select and buy that fine, that light, that naturally mild tobacco. American. Lucky Strike presents The Man Who Knows, the Tobacco Warehouseman. Mr. Floyd Clay, well-known tobacco warehouseman of Versailles, Kentucky, operates one of the largest tobacco warehouses in the world. Not long ago, he said. Up through the years, I've seen American buy tobacco that's ripe and mild. Tobacco with real flavor and melanose. I've smoked Lucky's myself for 17 years. So for your own real, deep down smoking enjoyment, remember LSMFT. Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. So smoke that smoke of fine tobacco, Lucky Strike. Yes, next time you buy cigarettes, ask for Lucky Strike. So round, so firm, so fully packed, so free, and easy on the draw. Anyway, Don, now you know why I'll never go to another football game with Jack. Well, I don't blame you, Mary. That smart guy sold me the ticket. I'd like to see him again. I'll tell him plenty. Well, drop in a Cirrus tonight, and you can. How do you know he's going to be there? I've got a date with him. You would, tonight. This is NBC, the national broadcasting company.