 The eleventh surprise of the surprising adventures of the magical monarch of Moe and his people. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Miriam Esther Goldman. The surprising adventures of the magical monarch of Moe and his people by L. Frank Baum. The eleventh surprise. Prince Fiddle-Cumdu and the Giant. It happened one morning that the monarch of Moe was not in his usual pleasant humour, and of course there was an excellent reason for this. At the back of his garden grew one tree that generally bore an abundant crop of animal crackers, and although the king and his court, being surfeited with all the dainties of the land, did not care much for these edibles, the younger inhabitants of Moe were especially fond of them and yelled with the light whenever the king divided the crop of his tree among them. A few days before the king had examined the tree and found the animal crackers not quite ripe, whereupon he had gone away and forgotten all about them. And in his absence they had ripened to a delicious light brown, and their forms had rounded out so that they hung as thickly together as peas in a pod. As they swung from their stems swaying backward and forward in the light breeze, they waited and waited for someone to come and pick them, but no one came near the tree, and the animals grew cross and restless in consequence. I wonder when we shall be gathered, remarked a hippopotamus cracker with a yawn. Oh, you wonder, do you? mockingly replied a camel cracker hanging near. Do you really expect anyone to gather you with your thick hide and clumsy legs, why the children would break their teeth on you at the first bite? What! screamed the hippopotamus in much anger. Do you dare insult me, you humpbacked beast of burden? Now then, now then! interrupted a wolf cracker that hung from a stem just above them. What's the use of fighting when we are so soon to be eaten? But the camel cracker would not be appeased. Thick-headed brute! he yelled at the hippopotamus angrily. Humpbacked idiot! shrieked the other. At this the camel swung himself fiercely on his branch and bumped against the hippopotamus knocking him off from the tree. The ground underneath was chocolate, and it was soft and sticky, not having dried since the last rain. So when the hippopotamus fell, he sank half way into the ground, and his beautiful brown color was spattered with the muddy chocolate. At this vengeful deed on the part of the camel, all the other animals became furious. A full-grown goat cracker swung himself against the camel and knocked it in turn from its stem, and in falling on the ground it broke its hump off. Then a lion cracker knocked the goat down, and an elephant knocked a cat down, and soon the whole tree was in a violent commotion. The animals fought with each other so desperately that before long the entire tree full of animal crackers had fallen to the ground, where many lay broken and disfigured, and the remainder were sunk deep in the chocolate mud. So when the king, finally remembering his tree, came and looked on the sorry site, it dampened his usual good spirits, and he heartily wished he had picked the quarrel some crackers before they began to fight amongst themselves. While he stood thinking dismally on this, up came Prince Fiddlecombe Dew, and asked permission to go on a journey. Where do you wish to go? asked the king. I am tired of this beautiful valley, answered Fiddlecombe Dew, and as the bicycle tree beside the crystal lake is now hanging full of ripe wheels, I thought I would gather one and ride over into the next valley in search of adventure. You see, this prince was the king's youngest son, and had been rather spoiled by petting as youngest sons often are. The next valley, my son, is inhabited by the giant hearty laugh, said the king, and should you meet him he might do you an injury. Oh, I am not afraid of hearty laugh, replied Fiddlecombe Dew boldly. If he should not be pleasant to me I could run away from him on my wheel. I don't know about that, responded the king. There may be bicycle trees in the next valley as well as here, and it is always dangerous and foolish for anyone to leave this valley where there is everything that heart could wish. Instead of running away in search of adventures you would do better to remain at home and help your mother pick collar buttons and neck ties for the family. That is work, said Fiddlecombe Dew silkily, and I hate work. Yet somebody has to pick the collar buttons, returned the king, or we should be unable to keep our collars on. Then let Jolokin help my mother. I am horribly tired of this stupid place and shall not be happy until I have traveled around and seen something more of the world. Well, well, go if you wish," answered the king impatiently, but take care of yourself, for when you are away from this valley there will be no one to protect you from danger. I can take care of myself," cried the prince, so do not worry about me, and he ran away quickly before his father had time to change his mind and withdraw his consent. He selected the best and ripest bicycle on the tree, and, having mounted it, was soon speeding away along the path to the mountains. When he reached the far eastern part of Moe he came upon a bush bearing a very good quality of violins, and this at once attracted fiddlecombe dew, who was a most excellent violinist, being able to play correctly a great number of tunes. So he dismounted and selected from the bush a small violin that seemed to have a sweet tone. This he carried with him under his arm, thinking if he became lonesome he could amuse himself with the music. Shortly after resuming his journey he came to the Maple Plains, a level stretch of country composed entirely of maple sugar. These plains were quite smooth and very pleasant to ride on, but so swiftly did his bicycle carry him that he soon crossed the plains and came on a river of pure maple syrup so wide and deep that he could neither leap nor swim it. Dismounting from his bicycle the prince began looking for some means of crossing the river. No bridge was visible in either direction, and the bank was bare, save for a few low bushes on which grew maple bonbons and maple caramels. The prince fiddlecombe dew did not mean to be turned back by so small a matter as a river, so he scooped a hole in the maple sand and having filled it with syrup from the river, lighted a match and began boiling it. After it had boiled for a time the maple syrup became stringy, and the prince quickly threw a string of it across the river. It hardened almost immediately, and on this simple bridge the prince rode over the stream. Once on the other side he sped up the mountain and over the top into the next valley where he stopped and began to look about him. He could see no roads in any direction, but a way down at the foot of the valley was a monstrous house, so big you could easily put a small village inside it, including the church. This fiddlecombe dew thought must be where the giant lived, and although he saw no one about the house he decided to make a call and introduce himself to Mr. Hardy-laugh. So he rode slowly down the valley, playing on his violin as he went, that the music might announce his coming. The giant Hardy-laugh was lying on the sofa in his sitting-room, waiting for his wife to prepare the dinner, and he had nearly fallen asleep when the sound of fiddlecombe dew's music fell on his ear. This was so unusual in his valley that the giant arose and went to the front door to see what caused it. The prince had by this time nearly reached the house, and when the giant appeared he was somewhat startled as he had not expected to see anyone quite so big. But he took care not to show any fear and, taking off his hat, he bowed politely to the giant and said, This is Mr. Hardy-laugh, I suppose. That is my name, replied the giant, grinning at the small size of his visitor. May I ask who you are? I am Prince Fiddlecombe dew, and I live in the next valley which is called the Valley of Moe. Being determined to see something of the world, I am travelling for pleasure, and have just dropped in on you for a friendly call. You are very welcome, I am sure, returned the giant. If you will graciously step into my humble home I shall be glad to entertain you at dinner. Prince Fiddlecombe dew bowed low and accepted the invitation, but when he endeavored to enter the house he found the step so big that even the first one was higher than his head and he could not climb to the top of it. Seeing his difficulty the giant carefully picked him up with one finger and his thumb and put him down on the palm of his other hand. Do not leave my bicycle! said the prince. For should anything happen to it I could not get home again. So the giant put the bicycle in his vest pocket, and then he entered the house and walked to the kitchen where his wife was engaged preparing the dinner. Guess what I found! said the giant to his wife, holding his hand doubled up so she could not see the prince. I am sure I don't know. answered the woman. But guess! pleaded the giant. Go away and don't bother me! she replied, bending over the stoop hand, or you won't have any dinner to-day. The giant, however, was in a merry mood, and for a joke he suddenly opened his hand and dropped the prince down his wife's neck. Oh! oh! she screamed, trying to get at the place where the prince had fallen, which was near the small of her back. What is it? I'm sure it's some horrible crocodile or dragon or something that will bite me. And the poor woman lay down on the carpet and began to kick her heels against the floor in terror. The giant roared with laughter, but the prince, now being able to crawl out, scrambled from the lady's neck and standing beside her head. He made a low bow, and said, Do not be afraid, madam, it is only I. But I must say it was a very un-gallant trick for your husband to play on you, to say nothing of my feelings in the matter. So it was, she exclaimed, getting upon her feet again and staring curiously at fiddle-come-do. But tell me who you are and where you came from. The giant, having enjoyed his laugh, now introduced the prince to his wife, and as dinner was ready to serve, they sat down at the table together. Fiddle-come-do got along very well at dinner, for the giant thoughtfully placed him on the top of the table, where he could walk around as he pleased. There being no knife nor fork small enough for him to use, the prince took one of the giant's toothpicks, which was as big as a sword, and with this served himself from the various dishes that stood upon the table. When the meal was over, the giant lighted his pipe, the bowl of which was as big as a barrel, and asked Fiddle-come-do if he would kindly favour them with some music. "'Certainly,' replied the prince, "'Please come into the kitchen,' said the giantess, for then I can listen to the music while I am washing the dishes.' The prince did not like to refuse this request, although at home he was not allowed to enter his mother's kitchen, so the giant carried him in, and placed him on a high shelf, where Fiddle-come-do seated himself on a spool of thread and began to play his violin. The big people enjoyed the music very much at first, for the prince was a capital player, but soon came a disagreeable interruption. About a month before the giant had caught several dancing bears in the mountains, and having brought them home had made them into strings of sausages. These were hanging in graceful festoons from beams of the kitchen ceiling, awaiting the time when they should be eaten. Now, when the dancing bear sausages heard the music of Fiddle-come-do's violin, they could not resist dancing, for it is well known that sausages made from real dancing bears cannot remain quiet where there is music. The prince was playing such a lively tune that presently the strings of sausage broke away from the ceiling and fell clattering to the floor, where they danced about furiously. Not being able to see where they were going, they bumped against the giant and his wife, thumping them on their heads and backs and pounding them so severely that the woman became frightened and hid on the table, while the giant started to run away. Seeing their plight Fiddle-come-do stopped playing, and at once the sausages fell to the floor and lay still. "'That was strange,' said the giant as soon as he could catch his breath. The bears evidently do not forget how to dance, even after they are chopped up into sausage meat. I must beg you to abandon your concert for the present, but before you visit us again we shall have eaten the sausages, and then you may play to your heart's content.' "'But I know they were so lively,' remarked the giantess, as she crawled from beneath the table. We should have eaten them before this.' "'That reminds me that I intended to have stewed polar bears for supper,' continued the giant. "'So I think I will walk over into Alaska and catch some.' "'Perhaps the prince would prefer Elephant Pie,' suggested the lady, and in that case you might make a run into South America for elephants.' "'I have no choice in the matter,' said the prince, never having eaten either. But is it not rather a long journey to Alaska or to South America?' "'Not at all,' protested the giant. I shall enjoy the walk and can easily be backed by sundown. Won't you come with me?' he asked the boy. But fiddle-come-do did not like the idea of so long a journey and begged to be excused. The giantess brought her lord a great bag to put the polar bears in, and he prepared to start. "'I leave you to amuse my wife during my absence,' he said to the prince. "'Pray make yourself entirely at home and use my castle as you would your own house, and if I have good luck you shall eat a delicious polar bear stew for your supper.' Then he slung the sack across his back and went away, whistling merrily, and so great were his strides that in less than a minute he was out of sight. "'This is my busy day,' said the giantess to fiddle-come-do, and I fear I shall not be able to entertain you in a proper manner, for I must hasten to the laundry to wash the clothes. However, if you care to accompany me, we may converse together while I am doing my work.' "'I shall take great pleasure in visiting your laundry,' he replied. "'For never before have I been in such a place, and surely it will be more agreeable to watch you at your work than to spend the day alone in these great rooms.' "'Come along, then,' she said, and picking him up she placed him in the pocket of her apron, for she knew he would be unable to walk down the flight of stairs that led to the laundry. He was very comfortable in the pocket, which was just deep enough to allow his head and shoulders to project from the top. Therefore he was able to see all that was going on while the lady was at work. He watched her wash and rinse the clothes, and was greatly interested in the operation as it was all new to him. By and by the giantess brought an immense clothes-ringer from a shelf, and, having fastened it to the side of the big wash tub, began to wring out the clothes. Prince Fiddlecombe Dew had never seen a clothes-ringer before, and so pleased was he with the novelty of it that he leaned far out of the pocket to watch at work, but unfortunately he lost his balance, and before he knew what had happened to him had fallen from the pocket and lay sprawling on one of the giant's shirts, which was just then passing through the ringer. The woman did not notice his fall, and the next instant he was drawn between the two great rollers, and came out on the other side as thin and flat as a sheet of paper. Then the giant's wife saw what she had done, and realizing how serious was the prince's condition, the good lady was much-graved over the accident. She picked Fiddlecombe Dew up and tried to stand him on his feet, but he was so thin that at the least draft he fluttered like a flag while a puff of wind would blow him completely over. Dear me, exclaimed the woman sorrowfully, whatever can we do with you in that shape?" I really do not know what will become of me, replied the prince. I have certainly no good in this condition. I cannot even walk across the room without toppling over. Can you not manage to push me together again? The giant has tried to do this, but the prince was so sharp that his edges hurt her hands, and all she could do was to fold him up and carry him into the drawing-room, where she laid him carefully on the center-table. Just before sundown the giant returned from Alaska, bringing several fat polar bears in his bag, and scarcely had he set foot within the house before he inquired after his guest, the prince. You will find him on the drawing-room table, said the giantess. I accidentally ran him through the clothes-ringer this afternoon, and the poor boy is as thin as a pry crust. So I folded him up and put him away until you return. The giant immediately went to the table and unfolded, fiddle come due, asking him how he felt. Very miserable, answered the prince, for I cannot move at all when I am folded up. Where is my bicycle? The giant searched all his pockets, but could not find it. I must have lost it on my journey to Alaska, he said. Then how am I ever to get home again? asked the prince. That is a puzzle, the giant responded thoughtfully. I do not see how you could ride on a bicycle even if you had one, and you certainly cannot walk far in your present condition. Not if the wind blows, acknowledged the prince. Couldn't you go edge-wise, asked the giant, after a moment's reflection? I might try, answered fiddle come due, hopefully. So the giant stood him up, and he tried to walk edge-wise. But whenever a breath of wind struck him he fell over at once, and several times he got badly crumpled up so that the giant had to smooth him out again with his hands. This certainly will not do at all, declared the giant, for not only are you getting wrinkled, but you are liable to be blown away altogether. I have just thought of a plan to get you back into the valley of Moe again, and when you are in your own country your friends may get you out of the scrape the best way they can. Hardy laughed, then made the prince into a neat roll and tied a string around the middle to hold it in place. Then he tucked the roll under his arm and carried it to the top of the mountain that stood between the two valleys. Placing the prince carefully on the ground he started him rolling, and in a short time he had rolled down the mountainside into the valley of Moe. At first the people were much frightened, not knowing what the strange thing could be that had come rolling into their midst. They stood around, curiously looking at the roll, but afraid to touch it, when suddenly fiddle come due began to cry out. And then, so fearful was the sound they all ran away as fast as their legs could carry them. Prince Thinkabit, however, being more courageous than the rest, at last ventured to approach and cut the string that fastened the roll. Instantly it opened, and to their amazement the people saw what it was. "'Upon my word it is brother Fiddle come due,' cried Prince Thinkabit. "'The giant must have stepped on him.' "'No, indeed,' said poor Fiddle come due, I have been run through a clothes-ringer which is much worse than being stepped on.' With many expressions of pity the kind people stood the prince up and helped him to the palace, where the king was greatly shocked at his sad plight. Fiddle come due was so broad that the only thing he could sit down on was the sofa. And he was so thin that when Prince's patty-cake sneezed he was blown half way across the room. At dinner he could eat nothing that was not sliced as thin as a shaving, and so sad was his predicament that the king determined to ask the wise donkey what could be done to relieve his unfortunate son. After hearing all the particulars of the accident the donkey said, "'Blow him up.' "'I did blow him up for being so careless,' replied the king, but it didn't make him any thicker. "'What I mean,' explained the donkey, "'is to bore a hole in the top of his head and blow air into him until he resumes his natural shape. Then if he takes care of himself he soon will be all right again.' So the king returned to the palace and bore a hole in Fiddle come due's head, and then pumped him full of air with a bicycle pump. When he had filled out into his natural shape they put a plug in the hole, and stopped it up. And after that Fiddle come due could walk around as well as before his accident. His only danger now was that he might get punctured, and indeed his friends found him one day lying in the garden all flattened out again, the prince having pricked his finger on a rose-bush, and thereby allowed his air to escape. But they inflated him once again, and afterward he was more careful of himself. Fiddle come due had such a horror of being flat that if his father ever wished to make him behave he threatened to stick a pin into him, and that always had the desired effect. After several years the prince, being a hardy eater, filled up with solid flesh, and had no further use for the air-pump, but his experience made him so nervous that he never again visited the giant hardy laugh for fear of encountering another accident. END OF THE 11TH SURPRISE THE 12TH SURPRISE OF THE SURPRISING ADVENTURES OF THE MAGICAL MONARCH OF MOE AND HIS PEOPLE This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Caroline Shapiro. THE SURPRISING ADVENTURES OF THE MAGICAL MONARCH OF MOE AND HIS PEOPLE by L. Frank Baum. THE 12TH SURPRISE THE LAND OF THE CIVILIZED MONKEYS I must now tell you of a very strange adventure that befell Prince Ingle, which, had it not turned out exactly as it did, might have resulted in making him a captive for life in a remarkable country. By consulting Smith's history of Prince Ingle, you will notice that from boyhood he had a great passion for flying kites, and unlike other boys, he always undertook to make each kite larger than the last one. Therefore, his kites grew in size and became larger and larger, until at length the prince made one twice as tall as himself. When it was finished, he was very proud of this great kite, and took it out to a level place to see how well it would fly, being accompanied by many of the people of Moe who took considerable interest in the prince's amusement. There happened to be a strong south wind blowing, and, fearing the kite might get away from him, Ingle tied the string around his waist. It flew beautifully at first, but pulled so hard the prince could scarcely hold it. At last, when the string was all let out, there came a sudden gust of wind, and in an instant poor Ingle was drawn into the air as easily as an ordinary kite draws its tail. Up and up he soared, and the kite followed the wind and carried him over many countries until the strength died out of the air, when the kite slowly settled toward the earth and landed the prince in the top of a tall tree. He now untied the string from his waist and fastened it to a branch of the tree, as he did not wish to lose the kite after all his bother in making it. Then he began to climb down to the ground, but on reaching the lower branches he was arrested by a most curious sight. Standing on the ground and gazing up at him were a dozen monkeys, all very neatly dressed, and all evidently filled with surprise at the prince's sudden appearance in the tree. What a very queer animal! exclaimed an old monkey, who wore a tall silk hat and had white kid gloves on his hands. Gold spectacles rested on his nose, and he pointed toward the prince with a gold-headed cane. By his side was a little girl monkey, dressed in pink skirts and a blue bonnet. And when she saw Zingle, she clung to the old monkey's hand and seemed frightened. Oh, grand-papa! she cried. Take me back to my ma. I'm afraid the strange beast will bite me! Just then a big monkey, wearing a blue coat with brass buttons and swinging a short club in his hand, strutted up to them and said, Don't be afraid, little one. The beast can't hurt you while I'm around. And then he tipped his cap over his left ear and shook his club at the prince, as if he did not know what fear meant. Two monkeys, who were dressed in red jackets and carried muskets in their hands, now came running up, and, having looked at Zingle with much interest, they called for someone to bring them a strong rope. We will capture the brute and put him in the zoo, said one of the soldier monkeys. What kind of animal is it? asked the other. I do not know, but some of our college professors can doubtless tell, and even if they can't, they will give it some scientific name that will satisfy the people just as well. All this time Prince Zingle remained clinging to the branches of the tree. He could not understand a word of the monkey language, and therefore had no idea what they were talking about, but he judged from their actions that the monkeys were not friendly. When they brought a long and stout rope and prepared to throw one end of it over his head in order to capture him, he became angry and called out to them, Stop! I command you! What is the meaning of this strange conduct? I am Prince Zingle, eldest son of the monarch of Moe, and since I have been blown into your country through an accident I certainly deserve kind treatment at your hands. But this speech had no meaning in the ears of the monkeys, who said to each other, Hear him bark! He jabbers away almost as if he could talk. By this time a large crowd of monkeys had surrounded the tree, some being barefooted boy monkeys and some lady monkeys dressed in silken gowns and gorgeous raiment of the latest mode, and others men monkeys of all sorts and conditions. There were dandified monkeys and sober-looking business monkeys, as well as several who appeared to be politicians and officials of high degree. Stand back, all of you, shouted one of the soldiers, we're going to capture this remarkable beast for the royal menagerie, and unless you stand out of the way he may show fight and bite someone. So they moved back to a safe distance, and the soldier monkey prepared to throw a rope. Stop! cried Zingle again. Do you take me for a thief that you try to bind me? I am a prince of the royal blood, and unless you treat me respectfully I shall have my father the king marches army on you and destroy your whole country. He barks louder said the soldier. Look out for him, he may be dangerous. The next moment he threw the rope and caught poor Zingle around his arms and body so that he was helpless. Then the soldier monkey pulled hard on the rope and Prince Zingle fell out of the tree to the ground. At first the monkeys all pressed backward, as if frightened, but their soldiers cried out, We've got him, he can't bite now. Then one of them approached the prince and punched him with a stick, saying, Stand up! Zingle did not understand the words, but he resented being prided with a stick, so he sprang up and rushed on the soldier, kicking the stick from his hands, his own arms being bound by the rope. The monkeys screamed and rushed in every direction, but the other soldier came behind the prince and knocked him down with the butt of his gun. Then he tied his legs with another rope, and, seeing him thus bound, the crowd of monkeys, which had scattered and fallen over one another in their efforts to escape, came creeping timidly back, and looked on him with fear and trembling. We've subdued him at last, remarked the soldier who had been kicked, but he's a very fierce animal, and I shall take him to the zoo and lock him in one of the strongest cages. So they led poor Zingle away to where the royal zoological gardens were located, and there they put him into a big cage with iron bars, the door being fastened with two great padlocks. For very long every monkey in the country learned that a strange beast had been captured and brought to the zoo, and soon a large crowded gather before Zingle's cage to examine him. "'Isn't he sweet?' said a lady monkey, who held a green parasol over her head, and wore a purple veil on her face. "'Sweet!' grunted a man monkey standing beside her. "'He's the ugliest-looking brute I ever saw, scarcely as any hair on him at all, and no tail, and very little chin. "'I wonder where on earth the creature came from?' "'It may be one of those beings from whom our race is descended,' said another onlooker. "'The professors say we evolved from some primitive creature of this sort.' "'Heaven forbid!' cried a dandy monkey, whose collar was so high that it kept tipping his hat over his eyes. If I thought such a creature as that was one of my forefathers, I should commit suicide at once.' Zingle had been sitting on the floor of his cage and wondering what was to become of him in this strange country of monkeys, and now, to show his authority, one of the keepers took a long stick and began to poke the prince to make him stand up. "'Stop that!' shouted the angry captive, and catching hold of the stick he jerked it from the keeper's hand and struck him with a sharp blow on the head with it. "'All the lady monkeys screamed at this, and the men monkeys exclaimed, What an ugly disposition the beast has!' The children monkeys began to throw peanuts between the bars of the cage, and Zingle, who had now become very hungry, picked them up and ate them. This act so pleased the little monkeys that they shouted with laughter. At last two solemn-looking monkeys with gray hair and wearing long black coats and white neck ties came up to the cage where they were greeted with much respect by the other monkeys. "'So this is the strange animal,' said one of the newcomers, putting on his spectacles and looking sharply at the captive. "'Do you recognize the species, Professor?' The other aged monkey also regarded the prince critically, before he answered, I cannot say I've ever seen a specimen of this genus before, but one of our textbooks mentions an obscure animal called Homo peculiaris, and I have no doubt this is one of that family. I shall write an article on the creature and claim he is a Homo, and without doubt the paper would create quite a stir in the scientific world. "'See, here,' suddenly demanded Prince Zingle, standing up and shaking the bars of his cage, are you going to give me anything to eat, or do you expect me to live on peanuts forever?' Not knowing what he said, none of the monkeys paid any attention to this question. But one of the professor monkeys appeared to listen attentively and remarked to friend, this seems to be a smoothness and variety of sound in his speech that indicates that he possesses some sort of language. Had I time to study this brute, I might learn his method of communicating with his fellows. Indeed, there is a possibility that he may turn out to be the missing link. However, the professor not yet having learned this language, Prince Zingle was obliged to remain hungry. The monkeys threw several coconuts into the cage, but the prisoner did not know what kind of fruit these were. So after several attempts to bite the hard shell, he decided they were not good to eat. Day after day now passed away, and although crowds of monkeys came to examine Zingle in his cage, the poor prince grew very pale and thin for lack of proper food, while the continuance of his unhappy imprisonment made him sad and melancholy. Could I but escape and find my way back to my father's valley, he moaned wearily, I should be willing to fly small kites forever afterward. Often he begged them to let him go, but the monkeys gruffly commanded him to stop his jabbering, and poked him with long sticks having sharp points, so that the prince's life became one of great misery. At the end of about two weeks, a happy relief came to Zingle, for then a baby hippopotamus was captured and brought to the royal zoo, and after this the monkeys left the prince's cage and crowded around that of the new arrival. Finding himself thus deserted, Prince Zingle began to seek a means of escape from his confinement. His first attempt was to break the iron bars, but soon he found they were too big and strong. Then he shook the door with all his strength, but the big padlocks held firm and could not be broken. Then the prisoner gave way to despair and threw himself on the floor of the cage, weeping bitterly. Suddenly he heard a great shout from the direction of the cage where the baby hippopotamus was confined, and rising to his feet, the prince walked to the bars and attempted to look out and discover what was causing the excitement. To his astonishment he found he was able to thrust his head between two of the iron bars, having grown so thin through hunger and abuse that he was much smaller than when the monkeys had first captured him. He realized at once that if his head would pass between the bars, his body could be made to do so likewise. So he struggled bravely, and at last succeeded in squeezing his body between the bars and leaping safely to the ground. Finding himself at liberty the prince lost no time in running to the tree where he had left his kite. But on the way some of the boy monkeys discovered him and raised a great cry, which soon brought hundreds of his enemies in pursuit. Zingle had a good start, however, and soon reached the tree. Quickly he climbed up the trunk and branches until he had gained the limb where the string of his kite was still fastened. Untieing the cord he wound it around his waist several times, and then, finding a strong north wind blowing, he skillfully tossed the kite into the air. At once it filled and mounted to the sky, lifting Zingle from the tree and carrying him with perfect ease. It was fortunate he got away at that moment, for several of the monkeys had scrambled up the tree after him and were almost near enough to seize him by the legs when, to their surprise, he shot into the air. Indeed, so amazed were they by this remarkable escape of their prisoner that the monkeys remained staring into the air until Prince Zingle had become a little speck in the sky above them and finally disappeared. That was the last our prince ever saw of the strange country of the monkeys, for the wind carried his kite straight back to the valley of Moe. When Zingle found himself above his father's palace he took out his pocket knife and cut the string of the kite, and immediately fell head foremost into a pond of custard that lay in the backyard, where he dived through a floating island of whipped cream and disappeared from view. Nuff said who was sitting on the bank of the custard lake was nearly frightened into fits by this sight, and he ran to tell the king that a new meteor had fallen and ruined one of his floating islands. Thereupon the monarch and several of his courtiers rushed out and found Prince Zingle swimming ashore, and the king was so delighted at seeing his lost son again that he clasped him joyfully in his arms. The next moment he regretted this act, for his best ermine robe was smeared its whole length with custard and would need considerable cleaning before it would be fit to wear again. The prince and the king soon changed their clothes, and then there was much rejoicing throughout the land. Of course the first thing Zingle asked for was something to eat, and before long he was sitting at a table heaped with all sorts of good things, plucked fresh from the trees. The people crowded around him, demanding the tale of his adventures, and their surprise was only equal by their horror when they learned he had been captured by a band of monkeys, and shut up in a cage because he was thought to be a dangerous wild beast. Experience is said to be an excellent teacher, although a very cruel one. Zingle had now seen enough of foreign countries to remain contented with his own beautiful valley. And although it was many years before he again attempted to fly a kite, it was noticed that, when he at last did indulge in that sport, the kite was of a very small size. End of the 12th Surprise Recording by Caroline Shapiro, Oakland, California, USA The 13th Surprise of the surprising adventures of the magical monarch of Moe and his people. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Patty Cunningham The surprising adventures of the magical monarch of Moe and his people by L. Frank Baum The 13th Surprise, The Stolen Plum Pudding The king's plum pudding crop had for some time suffered from the devastations of a secret enemy. Each day, as he examined the vines, he found more and more of the plum pudding missing, and finally the monarch called his wise men together and asked them what he should do. The wise men immediately shut their eyes and pondered so long over the problem that they fell asleep, while they slept still more of the plum pudding was stolen. When they awoke, the king was justly incensed and told the wise men that unless they discovered the thief within three days, he would give them no cake with their ice cream. This terrible threat at last aroused them to action, and after consulting together, they declared that in their opinion it was the fox that had stolen the pudding. Hearing this, the king ordered out his soldiers, who soon captured the fox and brought him to the palace, where the king sat in state surrounded by his wise men. So home, Master Fox, exclaimed the king, we have caught you at last! So it seems, returned the fox calmly, may I ask your majesty why I am thus torn from my home, from my wife and children, and brought before you like any common criminal? You have stolen the plum pudding, answered the king. I beg your majesty's pardon for contradicting you, but I have stolen nothing, declared the fox. I can easily prove my innocence. When was the plum pudding taken? A great deal of it was taken this morning while the wise men slept, said the king. Then I cannot be the thief, replied the fox, as you will admit when you have heard my story. Ah! Have you a story to tell, inquired the king, who dearly loved to hear stories? It is a short story, your majesty, but it will prove clearly that I have not taken your pudding. Then tell it, commanded the king, it is far from my wish to condemn anyone who was innocent. The wise men then placed themselves in comfortable positions, and the king crossed his legs and put his hands in his pockets, while the fox sat before them on his haunches and spoke as follows. The Fox's Story It has been unusually damp in my den of late, so that both my family and myself have suffered much. First my wife became ill, and then I was afflicted with a bad cold, and in both cases it settled into our throats. Then my four children, who are all of an age, began to complain of sore throats, so that my den became a regular hospital. We tried all the medicines we knew of, but they did no good at all. My wife finally begged me to go to consult Dr. Praeridog, who lives in a hole in the ground away toward the south, so one morning I said good-bye to my family and ran swiftly to where the doctor lives. Having no one outside the hole to whom I might apply for admission, I walked boldly in, and having followed a long dark tunnel for some distance, I suddenly came to a door. Come in said a voice, so in I walked, and found myself in a very beautiful room, lighted by forty-eight fireflies, which sat in a row on a rail running all around the apartment. In the center of the room was a table made of clay and painted in bright colors, and seated at this table, with his spectacles on his nose, was the famous Dr. Praeridog engaged in eating a dish of stewed snails. Good-morning, said the doctor, will you have some breakfast? No thank you, I replied, for the snails were not to my liking. I wish to procure some medicine for my children who are suffering from sore throats. How do you know their throats are sore? inquired the doctor. It hurts them to swallow, I explained. Then tell them not to swallow, said the doctor, and went on eating. Sir, I exclaimed, if they did not swallow, they would starve to death. That is true, remarked the doctor. We must think of something else. After a moment of silence he cried out, ah, I have it. Go home and cut off their necks, after which you must turn them inside out and hang them on the bushes in the sun. When the necks are thoroughly cured in the sun, turn them right side out again and place them on your children's shoulders. Then they will find it does not hurt them to swallow. I thanked the great doctor and returned home, where I did as he had told me. For the last three days the necks of not only my children, but of my wife and myself as well, have been hanging on the bushes to be cured. So we could not possibly have eaten your plum pudding. Indeed it was only an hour ago when I finished putting the neck on the last of my children, and at that moment your soldiers came and arrested me. When the fox ceased speaking, the king was silent for a while. Then he asked, were the necks all cured? Oh, yes, replied the fox. The sun cured them nicely. You see, remarked the king turning to his wise men, the fox has proved his innocence. You were wrong as usual in accusing him. I shall now send him home with six baskets of cherry phosphate as a reward for his honesty. If you have not discovered the thief by the time I return, I shall keep my threat and stop your allowance of cake. Then the wise men fell a trembling and put their heads together, counseling with one another. When the king returned, they said, Your Majesty, it must have been the bullfrog. So the king sent his soldiers, who captured the bullfrog, and brought him to the palace. Why have you stolen the plum pudding? demanded the king in a stern voice. I? Steal your plum pudding, exclaimed the frog indignantly? Surely you must be mistaken. I am not at all fond of plum pudding. And besides, I have been very busy at home during the past week. What have you been doing? asked the king. I will tell you, for then you will know I am innocent of this theft. So the bullfrogs squatted on a footstool, and, after blinking solemnly at the king and his wise men for a moment, spoke as follows. The Frog's Story Some time ago my wife and I hatched out twelve little tadpoles. They were the sweetest children parents ever looked on. Their heads were all very large and round, and their tails were long and feathery, while their skins were as black and shiny as could be. We were proud of them, my wife and I, and took great pains to train our children properly that they might become respectable frogs in time, and be a credit to us. We lived in a snug little hole under the bank of the river, and in front of our dwelling was a large stone on which we could sit and watch the baby tadpoles grow. Although they loved best to lie in the mud at the bottom of the river, we knew that exercise is necessary to the proper development of a tadpole, so we decided to teach our youngsters to swim. We divided them into two lots. My wife trained six of the children, while I took charge of the other six. We drilled them to swim in single file in column of twos and in line of battle. But I must acknowledge they were quite stupid being so young, and unless we told them when to stop, they would keep on swimming until they bumped themselves into a bank or a stone. One day about a week ago, while teaching our children to swim, we started them all going in a single file one after the other. They swam in a straight line that was very pretty to see, and my wife and I sat on the flat stone and watched them with much pride. Unfortunately at that very moment a large fish swam into our neighborhood and lay on the bottom of the river to rest. It was one of those fishes that hold their great mouths wide open, and I was horrified when I saw the advancing line of tadpoles headed directly toward the gaping mouth of the monster fish. I croaked as loudly as I could for them to stop, but either they failed to hear me or they would not obey. The next moment all the line of swimming tadpoles had entered the fish's mouth and were lost to our view. Mrs. Frog threw herself into my arms with a cry of anguish exclaiming, "'Oh, what shall we do? Our children are lost to us forever.' "'Do not despair,' I answered, although I was myself greatly frightened. "'We must try to prevent the fish from swimming away with our loved ones. If we can keep him here, some way may yet be found to rescue the children.' Up to this time the big fish had remained motionless, but there was an expression of surprise in its round eyes as if it did not know what to make of the lively inhabitants of its stomach. Mrs. Frog thought for a moment and then said, "'A short distance away is an old fish-line and hook lying at the bottom of the river, where some boys lost it while fishing one day. If we could only fetch it at once, I interrupted. With its aid we shall endeavor to capture the fish.' She hastened away, soon returning with the line, which had a large hook on one end. I tied the other end firmly about the flat stone, and then, advancing cautiously from behind, that the fish might not see me, I stuck the iron hook through its right gill. The monster gave a sudden flop that sent me head over heels a yard away. Then it tried to swim down the stream. But the hook and line held fast, and soon the fish realized it was firmly caught, after which it wisely abandoned the struggle. Mrs. Frog and I now sat down to watch the result, and the time of waiting was long and tedious. After several weary days, however, the great fish lay over on its side and expired, and soon after there hopped from its mouth the sweetest little green frog you ever laid eyes on, one another and another followed, until twelve of them stood beside us. And then my wife exclaimed, "'They are our children, the tadpoles. They have lost their tails and their legs have grown out, but they are our own little ones, nevertheless.' Indeed this was true, for tadpoles always become frogs when a few days old. The children told us they had been quite comfortable inside the great fish, but they were now hungry for young frogs always have wonderful appetites. So Mrs. Frog and I sat to work to feed them, and had just finished this pleasant task when your soldiers came to arrest me. I assure your majesty this is the first time I have been out of the water for a week, and now, if you will permit me to depart, I will hop back home and see how the youngsters are growing. When the bullfrog had ceased speaking, the king turned toward the wise men and said angrily, "'It seems you are wrong again, for the frog is innocent. Your boasted wisdom appears to me very like folly, but I will give you one more chance. If you fail to discover the culprit next time, I shall punish you far more severely than I at first promised.'" The king now gave the bullfrog a present of a red silk necktie, and also sent a bottle of perfumery to Mrs. Frog. The soldiers at once released the prisoner, who joyfully hopped away toward the river. The wise men now rolled their eyes toward the ceiling, and twirled their thumbs, and thought as hard as they could. At last they told the king they had decided the yellow hen was undoubtedly responsible for the theft of the plum pudding. So the king sent his soldiers, who searched throughout the valley, and at last captured the yellow hen and brought her into the royal presence. "'My wise men say you have stolen my plum pudding,' said his majesty. "'If this is true, I am going to punish you severely.' "'But it is not true,' answered the yellow hen, for I have just returned from a long journey. "'Where have you been?' inquired the king. "'I will tell you,' she replied, and after rearranging a few of her feathers that the rough hands of the soldiers had must, the yellow hen spoke as follows. The Yellow Hens Story All my life I have been accustomed to hatching out thirteen eggs. But the last time there were only twelve eggs in the nest when I got ready to set. Being experienced in these matters I knew it would never do to set on twelve eggs, so I asked the Red Rooster for his advice. He considered the question carefully, and finally told me he had seen a very nice large egg lying on the rocks near the sugar mountain. "'If you wish,' said he, "'I will get it for you. I am very sorry to trouble you, yet certainly I need thirteen eggs,' I answered. The Red Rooster is an accommodating fowl, so away he flew and shortly returned with a large white egg under his wing. This egg I put with the other twelve, and then I set faithfully on my nest for three weeks, at the end of which time I hatched out my chickens. Twelve of them were as yellow and fluffy as any mother could wish, but the one that came from the strange egg was black and awkward and had a large bill and sharp claws. Still thinking he was one of my children, despite his deformity, I gave him as much care as any of them, and soon he outgrew the others and became very big and strong. The Red Rooster shook his head and said bluntly, "'That chick will be a great trouble to you, for it looks to me strangely like one of our enemies, the hawks.' "'What?' I exclaimed reproachfully. Do you think one of my darling children could possibly be a hawk?' I considered that remark almost an insult, Mr. Rooster. The Red Rooster said nothing more, but he kept away from my big black chick, as if really afraid of it. To my great grief this chick suddenly developed a very bad temper, and one day I was obliged to reprove it for grabbing the food away from its brothers. Suddenly it began screaming with anger, and the next moment it sprang on me, digging its sharp claws into my back. While I struggled to free myself, he flew far up into the air carrying me with him, and uttering loud cries that filled me with misgivings, for now I realized, when it was too late, that his voice sounded exactly like the cry of a hawk. Away and away he flew over mountains and valleys and rivers and lakes, until at last, as I looked down, I saw a man pointing a gun at us. A moment later he shot, and the black chick gave a scream of pain at the same time releasing his hold of me, so that I fell over and over and finally fluttered to the ground. Then I found I had escaped one danger only to encounter another, for as I reached the ground the man seized me and carried me under his arm to his home. During the house he said to his wife, Here is a nice fat hen for our breakfast! Put her in the coop, replied the woman. After supper I will cut off her head and pick the feathers from her body. This frightened me greatly, as you may suppose, but when the man placed me in the coop I nearly gave way to despair. But finding myself alone I plucked up courage and began looking for a way to escape. To my great joy I soon discovered that one of the slats of the coop was loose, and having pushed it aside I was not long in gaining my liberty. Once free I ran away from the place as fast as possible, but did not know in which direction to go the country being so strange to me. So I fluttered on, half running and half flying, until I reached the place where an army of soldiers was encamped. If these men saw me, I feared they would also wish to eat me for breakfast. So I crept into the mouth of a big cannon, thinking I should escape attention and be safe until morning. Soon I fell asleep, and so sound was my slumber that the next thing I heard was the conversation of some soldiers who stood beside the cannon. It is nearly sunrise, said one. You must fire the salute. Is the cannon loaded? Oh yes, answered the other. What shall I shoot at? Fire into the air, for then you will not hurt anyone, said the first soldier. By this time I was trembling with fear, and had decided to creep out of the cannon and take the chances of being caught, when suddenly, bang, went the big gun, and I shot into the air with a rush like that of a whirlwind. The noise nearly deafened me, and my nerves were so shattered that for a time I was helpless. I felt myself go up and up into the air until soon I was far above the clouds. Then I recovered my wits, and when I began to come down again I tried to fly. I knew the valley of Moe must be somewhere to the west. So I flew in that direction until I found myself just over the valley, when I allowed myself to flutter to the ground. It seems my troubles were not yet over. For before I had fully recovered my breath after this long flight, your soldiers seized me and brought me here. I am accused of stealing your plum pudding. But in truth, Your Majesty, I have been away from your kingdom for nine days, and am therefore wholly innocent. The yellow hen had scarce finished this story when the king flew into a violent rage at the deceptions of his wise men, and turning to his soldiers he ordered them to arrest the wise men and cast them into prison. Having given the unfortunate hen a pair of gold earrings that fitted her ears and matched her complexion, the king sent her home with many apologies for having accused her wrongfully. Then His Majesty seated himself in an easy chair, and pondered how best to punish the foolish wise men. I would rather have one really wise man, he said to himself, than fifty of these, who pretend to be wise and are not. That gave him an idea. So the next morning he ordered the wise men taken to the royal kitchen, where all were run through the meat-chopper until they were ground as fine as mincemeat. Having thoroughly mixed them, the king stirred in a handful of salt, and then made them into one man which the cook baked in the oven until it was well done. Now, said the king, I have one wise man instead of several foolish ones. Perhaps he can tell me who stole the plum pudding. Certainly, replied the wise man, that is quite easy. It was the purple dragon. Good, cried the monarch, I have discovered the truth at last. And so he had, as you will find by reading the next surprise. End of the thirteenth surprise, recording by Patty Cunningham. The fourteenth surprise of the surprising adventures of the magical monarch of Moe and his people. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Diana Meilinger. The surprising adventures of the magical monarch of Moe and his people by Al Frank Baum. The fourteenth surprise, the punishment of the purple dragon. Scarcely had the king spoken, when some of his soldiers came running with news that they had seen the purple dragon eating plum pudding in the royal garden. What did you do about it? Asked the monarch. We did nothing, they answered. For had we interfered with its repast, the dragon would probably have eaten us for desert. That is true, remarked the king. Yet something must be done to protect us from this monster. For many years it has annoyed us by eating our choicest crops, and nothing we can do seems of any avail to save us from its ravages. If we were able to destroy the dragon, said Prince Tink a bit, we should be doing our country the greatest possible service. We have often tried to destroy it, replied the king, but the beast always managed to get the best of the fight, having wonderful strength and great cunning. However, let us hold a council of war and see what is suggested. So a council of war was called. The wise man, all the princes and noblemen, the dog and the wise donkey being assembled to talk the matter over. I advised it to build a high wall around the dragon, said the wise man, then it will be unable to get out and will starve to death. It is strong enough to break down the wall, said the king. I suggest you dig a great hole in the ground, remarked the donkey. Then the dragon will fall into it and perish. It is too clever to fall into the hole, said the king. The best thing to do, declared him, is to cut off its legs, for then it could not walk into our gardens. The scales on its legs are too hard and thick, said the king. We have tried that, and failed. We might take a red-hot iron and put the dragon's eyes out, went, said Prince Jolykin. Its eyes are glass, replied the king with a sigh, and the iron would have no effect on them. Suppose we tie a tin can to its tail, suggested the dog. The rattling of the can would so frighten the dragon that it would run out of the country. Its tail is so long, answered the king gloomily, that the dragon could not hear the can rattle. Then they all remained silent for a time, thinking so hard that their heads began to ache. But no one seemed able to think of the right thing to do. Finally the king himself made the proposition. One thing we might attempt with some hope of success, said his majesty. Should it fail, we cannot be worse off than we are at present. My idea is for us to go in a great body to the castle of the dragon, and pull out its teeth with a pair of forceps. Having no teeth, the monster will be harmless to annoy us in any way, and, since we seem unable to kill it, I believe this is the best way out of our difficulty. The king's plan pleased everyone, and met with shouts of approval. The council then adjourned, and all the members went to prepare for the fight with the purple dragon. First the blacksmith made a large pair of forceps to pull the dragon's teeth with. The handers of the forceps were so long that fifty men could take hold of them at one time. Then the people armed themselves with swords and spears and marched in a great body to the castle of the purple dragon. This remarkable beast, which for so long had kept the valley of Moe in constant error, was tending on the front porch of its castle when the army arrived. It looked at the crowd of people in surprise, and said, Are you not wary with your attempts to destroy me? What selfish people you must be. Whenever I ate anything that belongs to you, there's a great row, and immediately you come here to fight me. These battles are unpleasant to all of us. The best thing for you to do is to return home and behave yourselves, for I am not in the least afraid of you. Neither the king nor his people replied to these tones. They simply brought forward a big pair of forceps, and reached them toward the dragon. This movement astonished the monster, who never having been to a dentist in his life had no idea what the strange instrument was for. Surely you cannot think to hurt me with that iron thing. It called out in the risen. And then the dragon laughed at the idea of anyone attempting to injure it. But when the dragon opened its mouth to laugh, the king opened the jaws of the forceps, quickly closing them again on one of the monsters' front teeth. Pull! cried the king, and fifty men seized the handlers of the forceps, and began to pull with all their strength. But, pull as they might, the tooth would not come out, and this was the reason. The teeth of the dragons are different from ours, for they go through the jaw, and are clinged on the other side. Therefore no amount of pulling will draw them out. The king did not know this fact, but thought the tooth must have a long root, so he called again. Pull! my brave man, pull! And they pulled so hard, that the dragon was nearly pulled from the porch of its castle. To avoid this danger, the cunning beast wound the end of its tail around the post of the porch, and tied a hard knot in it. Pull! shouted the king for the third time. Then a surprising thing happened. Anyone who knows anything all about dragons is aware that these beasts stretch as easily as if made of india rubber. Therefore the strong pulling of the fifty men resulted in the dragon being pulled from its foothold, and as its tail was fastened to the post, its body began to stretch out. The king and his people, thinking the tooth was being pulled, started down the hill, the forceps still clinging fast to the monster's big front tooth. And the farther they went, the more the dragon's body stretched out. Keep going! cried the king. We mustn't let go now! And away marched the fifty men, and farther and farther stretched the body of the dragon. Still holding fast to the forceps, the king and his army marched into the valley, and away across it and upped the hills on the other side, not even stopping to take breath. When they came to the mountains and the forests, and could go no further, they looked back, and behold, the dragon had stretched out so far that it was now no bigger around than a fiddle-string. What shall we do now? Cross the fifty men who were perspiring with the long pull and the march across the valley. I'm sure I don't know, replied the pen-thinking. Let us tie this end of the beast around the tree, then we can think what is best to be done. So they tied it end of the dragon to a big tree, and sat down to rest, being filled with thunder that the mildly purple dragon was now no larger around than a piece of twine. The wicked creature will never bother us again, said the king. Yet it was only by accident we found a way to destroy it. The question now is, what shall we do with this long, thin dragon? If we leave it here, it will trip anyone who stumbles against it. I shall use it for fiddle-strings, said Prince Fiddlecombe do. For the crop fell this year, and I have known for my violin. Let us cut the dragon up into the proper sizes, and store the strings in the royal warehouse for general use. The king and the people hardly approved this plan. So the prince brought a pair of shears, and cut the dragon into equal length to use on his violin. Thus the wicked monster was made good use of at last, for the strings had an excellent tone. And that was not the only end of the purple dragon, but there were two other ends of him, one tied to the tree in the mountains, and the other fastened to the post of the castle. That same day the monarch of Moe gave a magnificent feast to all his people to celebrate the destruction of their greatest foe, and ever afterward the gardens of the beautiful valley were free from molestation. End of the Fourteenth Surprise End of the Surprising Adventures of the Magical Monarch of Moe and His People by L. Frank Baum