 CHAPTER 15 Oh whistle, and I'll come to you, my lad. Candice was baking the very first batch of rhubarb pies for the season, and the odor was so tempting I couldn't keep away from the kitchen door. Now Candice was a splendid cook about chicken-gizzards. The liver was always mothers, donuts and tarts, but I never really did believe she would cut into a fresh rhubarb pie, even for me. As I reached for the generous big piece, I thought of laddie, poor laddie, plowing away at his crusader fight, and not a hint of victory. No one in the family liked rhubarb pie better than he did. I knew there was no use to ask for a plate. Wait! Oh, wait! I cried. I ran to the woodshed, pulled a shining new shingle from a bale stacked there, and held it for Candice. Then I slipped around the house, softly. I didn't want to run anyone's errands that morning. I laid the pie on the horse-block, and climbed the Kultapa carefully, so as not to frighten my robins. They were part fathers, too, because robins were his favorite birds. He said their song, through and after rain, was the sweetest music on earth. And mostly he was right, so they were not all my robins, but they were most mine after him, and I owned the tree. I hunted the biggest leaf I could see, and wiped it clean on my apron, although it was early for much dust. It covered the pie nicely, because it was the proper shape, and I held the stem with one hand to keep it in place. If I had made that morning myself, I couldn't have done it better. It was sunny, spring air, but it was that cool, spicy kind that keeps you stopping every few minutes to see just how full you can suck your lungs without bursting. It seemed to wash right through and through, and make you all over. The longer you breathed it, the clearer your head became, and the better you felt, until you would be possessed to try and see if you really couldn't fly. I tried that last summer, and knocked myself into jelly. You'd think once would have been enough. But there I was going down the road with laddie's pie, and wanting with all my heart to try again. Sometimes I raced, but I was a little afraid the pie would shoot from the shingle, and it was like pulling eye-teeth to go fast that morning. I loved the soft, warm dust that was working up on the road. Spat, spat, I brought down my bare feet, already scratched and turning brown, and left to myself at the velvety feel of it. There were little puddles yet, where May and I had dipped and faded last fall, and it was fun to wade them. The road sides were covered with meadow grass and clover that had slipped through the fence, and slender green blades in spot after spot twinkled the delicate bloom of blue-eyed grass. Never in all this world was our big creek lovelier. It went slipping and whispering and slipping and lapping over the stones, tugging at the rushes and grasses as it washed their feet. Nothing beside it was in masses of bloom. A blackbird was gleaming and preening on every stone, as it plumed after its bath. Oh, there's no use to try. It was just spring when it couldn't possibly be any better. But even spring couldn't hold me very long that morning. For you see, my heart was almost sick about laddie, and if he couldn't have the girl he wanted, at least I could do my best to comfort him with the pie. I was going along being very careful the more I thought about how he would like it, so I was not watching the road so far ahead as I usually did. I always kept a lookout for Patty Ryan, Gypsies, or Whitmore's Bull. When I came to an unusually level place and took a long glance ahead, my heart turned right over and stopped still, and I looked long enough to be sure. And then, right out loud, someone said, I'll do something. And as usual, I was the only one there. For days I'd been in a ferment, like the vinegar barrel when the cider boils, or the yeast jar when it sets too close to the stove. To have laddie and the princess separated was dreadful, and knowing him as I did, I knew he never really would get over it. I had tried to help once, and what I had done started things going wrong. No wonder I was slow about deciding what to try next. That I was going to do something, I made up my mind the instant laddie said he was not mad at me, that I was his partner and asked me to help. But exactly what would do any good? Took careful thought. Here was my chance coming right at me. She was far up the road, riding mod like racing. I began to breathe after a while, like you always do, no matter how you are worked up, and with my brain whirling, I went slowly toward her. How would I manage to stop her? Or what could I say that would help laddie? I was shaking, and that's the truth. But through and over it all, I was watching her too. I only wish you might have seen her that morning. Of course the morning was part of it. A morning like that would make a fence post better looking. Half a mile away you could see she was tipsy with spring as I was, or the song sparrows, or the crazy babbling old bobble links on the stakes and riders. She made such a bright splash against the pink fence row, with her dark hair, flushed cheeks and red lips, she took my breath. Father said she was the loveliest girl in three counties, and laddie stretched that to the whole world. As she came closer, smash through me went the thought that she looked precisely as Shelly had at Christmas time, and Shelly had been that way because she was in love with a pageant man. Now if the princess was gleaming and flashing like that for the same reason, there wasn't anyone for her to love so far as I knew, except laddie. Then smash came another thought. She had to love him, she couldn't help herself. She had all winter, all last summer, and no one but themselves knew how long before that. And where was there any other man like laddie? Of course she loved him, who so deserving of love. Who else had his dancing eyes of deep tender blue, cheeks so pink, teeth so white, such waving chestnut hair, and his height and breath? There was no other man who could ride, swim, leap and wrestle as he could. None who could sing the notes, do the queer sums with letters having little figures at the corners in the college books, read Latin as fast as English, and even the Greek Bible. Of course she loved him, everyone did. Others might plod and meander. Laddie walked the tired old road that went out of sight over the hill, with as prideful a step as any king. His laugh was as merry as the song of the gladdest thrush, while his touch was so gentle that when mother was in dreadful pain I sometimes thought she would a little rather have him hold her than father. Now he was in this fearful trouble, the color going from his face, his laugh was a little strained, and the heartache almost more than he could endure, and there she came. I stepped squarely in the middle of the road, so she would have to stop or ride over me, and when she was close I stood quite still. I was watching with my eyes, heart, and brain, and I couldn't see that she was provoked as she drew rain and cried. Good morning, little queer person! I had supposed she would say little sister. She had for ages, just like Laddie, but she must have thought it was queer for me to stop her that way, so she changed. I was in for it. I had her now, so I smiled the very sweetest smile that I could think up in such a hurry, and said, good morning, the very politest I ever did in all my life. Then I didn't know what to do next, but she helped me out. What have you there? she asked. It's a piece of the very first rhubarb pie for the spring, and I'm carrying it to Laddie, I said, as I lifted the coltapa leaf and let her peep, just to show her how pie looked when it was right. I bet she never saw a nicer piece. The princess slid her hand down Maud's neck to quiet her prancing, and leaned in the saddle, her face full of interest. I couldn't see a trace of anything to discourage me. Her being on our road again looked favourable. She seemed to think quite as much of that pie as I did. She was the finest little thoroughbred. She understood so well I was sorry I couldn't give it to her. It made her mouth water all right, for she drew a deep breath that sort of quivered. But it was no use. She didn't get that pie. I think it looks delicious, she said. Are you carrying it for Candace? No, she gave it to me. It's my very own. And you're doing without it yourself to carry it to Laddie, I'll be bound, cried the princess. I'd much rather, I said. Do you love Laddie so dearly, she asked. My heart was so full of him right then, I forgot all about when I had the fever, and as I never had been taught to lie, I told her what I thought was the truth, and I guess it was, best of any one in all this world. The princess looked across the field, where she must have seen him finishing the plowing, and thought that over. And I waited, sure in my mind, for some reason, that she would not go for a little while longer. I have been wanting to see you, she said at last. In fact, I think I came this way, hoping I'd meet you. Do you know the words to a tune that goes like this? Then she began to whistle, the merry farmer boy. I wish you might have heard the flourishes she put to it. Of course I do, I answered. All of us were brought up on it. Well, I have some slight curiosity to learn what they are, she said. Would you kindly repeat them for me? Yes, I said. This is the first verse. See the merry farmer boy, tramp the meadows through, swing his hoe and careless joy while dashing off the dew. Bobble link and maple high. Of course you can see for yourself that they're not. There isn't a single one of them higher than a fence post. The person who wrote that piece had to put it that way, so high would rhyme with reply, which is coming in the next line. I see, said the princess. Bobble link and maple high, trills a note of glee. Farmer boy, a gay reply, now whistles cheerily. Then you whistle the chorus like you did it. You do indeed, said the princess, proceed. Then the farmer boy at noon rests beneath the shade, listening to the ceaseless tune that's thrilling through the glade. Long and loud the harvest fly wins his bugle round. Long and loud and shrill and high he whistles back the sound. He does, he does indeed, I haven't a doubt about that, cried the princess. Long and loud and shrill and high he whistles over and over the sound until it becomes maddening. Is that all of that melodious and trancing production? No, evening comes next. The last verse goes this way. In the busy days employ ends it do we eave. Then the happy farmer boy doth haste his work to leave, trudging down the quiet lane, climbing over the hill, whistling back the changeless wail of plaintive whippoorwill. And then you do the chorus again, and if you know how well enough you whistle in whippoorwill till the birds will answer you, laddy often makes them. My life, cried the princess, was that he doing those bird cries? Why I hunted and hunted, and so did father. We'd never seen a whippoorwill, just fancy us. If you'd only looked at laddy, I said. My patience, cried the princess. Looked at him, there was no place to look without seeing him, and that your splitting thing will ring in my head forever, I know. Did he whistle it too high to suit you, princess? He was perfectly welcome to whistle as he chose, she said, and also to plow with the carriage-horses, and to bedeck them, and himself, with the modest shrinking red tulip and yellow daffodil. Now anyone knows that tulips and daffodils are not modest in shrinking. If any flowers just blaze in scrim-colour clear across a garden, they do. She was provoked, you could see that. Well, he only did it to please you, I said. He didn't care anything about it. He never plowed that way before. But you said he mustn't plow at all, and he just had to plow. There was no escaping that. So he made it as fine and happy as possible to show you how nicely it could be done. Greatly obliged, I'm sure, cried the princess. He showed me. He certainly did. And so he feels that there's no escaping plowing, does he? Then I knew where I was. I'd have given every cent of mine in father's chest hill, if mother had been in my place. As for a second, I thought I'd ask the princess to go with me to the house, and let mother tell her how it was. But if she wouldn't go and rowed away, I felt I couldn't endure it. And anyway, she had said she was looking for me. So I gripped the shingle, dug in my toes, and went at her just as nearly like mother talked to her father as I could remember. And I'd been put through memory tests and descriptive tests nearly every night of my life, so I had most of it as straight as a string. Until you see, he can't escape it, I said. He'd do anything in all this world for you that he possibly could. But there are some things no man can do. I didn't suppose there was anything you thought Laddie couldn't do, she said. A little time back I didn't, I answered. But since he took the carriage-horses, trimmed up in flowers, and sang and whistled so bravely, day after day, when his heart was full of tears. Why, I learned that there was something he just couldn't do, not to save his life, or his love, or even to save you. And of course you don't mind telling me what that is, coaxed the princess, and her most wheedling tones. Not at all, he told our family, and I heard him tell your father. The thing he can't do, not even to win you, is to be shut up in a little office, in a city where things roar and smell and nothing is like this. I pointed out the orchard, hill and meadow. So she looked where I showed her. Looked a long time. No, a city wouldn't be like this, she said slowly. And that isn't even the beginning, I said. Maybe he could bear that. Men have been put in prison, and lived through years and years of it. Perhaps Laddie could too. I doubt it. But anyway the worst of it is that he just couldn't, not even to save you, spend all the rest of his life trying to settle other people's old fusses. He despises a fuss. Not one of us ever in our lives have been able to make him curl, even one word. He simply won't. And if he possibly could be made to by anyone on earth, Leon would have done it long ago, for he can start a fuss with the side of a barn. But he can't make Laddie fuss, and nobody can. He never would at school or anywhere. Once in a while if a man gets so overbearing that Laddie simply can't stand it, he says, Now you'll take your medicine. Then he pulls off his coat, and carefully, choosing the right spots, he just pounds the breath out of that man, but never stops smiling, and when he helps him up he always says, Sorry, hope you'll excuse me, but you would have it. That's what he said about you, that you had to take your medicine. I made a mistake there, that made her too mad for any use. Oh, she cried, I do, I'll jolly well show the gentleman. Oh, you needn't take the trouble, I cried, he's showing you. She just blazed like she'd break into flame. Anyone could fuss with her all right, but that was the last thing on earth I wanted to do. You see, he already knows about you, I explained as fast as I could talk, for I was getting into an awful mess. You see, he knows that you want him to be a lawyer, and that he must quit plowing before he can be more than friends with you. That's what he's plowing for. If it wasn't for that, probably he wouldn't be plowing at all. He asked Father to let him, and he borrowed Mother's horses, and he hooked the flowers through the fence. Every night when he comes home he kneels beside Mother, and asks her if he is repulsive, and she takes him in her arms, and the tears roll down her cheeks, and she says, Father has farmed all his life, and you know how repulsive he is. I ventured an upward peep. I was doing better. Her temper seemed to be cooling, but her face was a jumble. I couldn't find any one thing on it that would help me, so I just stumbled ahead, guessing at what to say. He didn't want to do it. He perfectly hated it. Those fields were his waterloo. Every furrow was a fight, but he was forced to show you. Only what was he trying to show me? I can think of three things, he told me, I answered, that plowing could be managed as to not disfigure the landscape. The dunce, she said, that he could plow or do dirtier work and not be repulsive. The idiot, she said, that if he came over there and plowed right under your nose when you'd told him he mustn't, or he couldn't be more than friends, and when you knew that he'd much rather die and be laid beside the little sisters up there in the cemetery than not to be more than friends. Why, you'd see, if he did that he couldn't help it, that he just must, that he was forced. The soldier, she said, oh, Princess, he didn't want to, I cried. He tells me secrets he doesn't anyone else, unless you. He told me how he hated it, but he just had to do it. Do you know why? Of course. It's the way he's made. Father is like that. He has chances to live in cities, make big business deals, and go to the legislature at Indianapolis. I've seen his letters from his friend Oliver P. Morton, our governor, you know. They're in his chest till now. But father can't do it, because he is made so he stays at home and works for us, and this farm and township and county where he belongs. He says if all men will do that, the millennium will come tomorrow. I suppose you know what the millennium is. I do, said the princess, but I don't know what your father and his friend Oliver P. Morton have to do with Laddie. Why, everything on earth, Laddie is father's son, you see, and he is made like father. None of our other boys is. Not one of them loves land. Leon is going away as quick as ever he finishes college. But the more you educate Laddie, the better he likes to make things grow. The more he loves to make the world beautiful, to be kind to everyone, to gentle animals. Why, the biggest fight he ever had, the man he whipped till he most couldn't bring him back again, was one who kicked his horse in the stomach. Gee, I thought he'd killed him. Laddie did too for a while, but he only said the man deserved it. And so he did, cried the princess angrily, how beastly. That's one reason Laddie sticks so close to land. He says he doesn't meet nearly so many two-legged beasts in the country. Almost every time he goes to town, he either gets into a fight or he sees something that makes him fighting mad. Princess, you think this is beautiful, don't you? I just pointed anywhere. All the world was in it that morning. You couldn't look right or left and not see lovely places, hear music, and smell flowers. Yes, it is altogether wonderful, she said. Would you like to live among this all your life and have your plans made to fix you a place even nicer, and then be forced to leave it and go to a little room in the city and make all the money you earned off of how much other men fight over business and land and such perfectly awful things that they always have to be whispered when Jerry tells about them? Would you? You little dunce, she cried. I know I'm a fool. I know I'm not telling you a single thing I should. Maybe I'm hurting Lattie far more than I'm helping him. And if I am, I wish I would die before I see him. But oh, Princess, I'm trying with all my might to make you understand how he feels. He wants to do every least thing you'd like him to. He will, almost anything else in the world. He would this, he wouldn't a minute, but he just can't. All of us know he can't. If you'd lived with him since he was little and always had known him, you wouldn't ask him to. You wouldn't want him to. You don't know what you're doing. Mother says you don't. You'll kill him if you send him to the city to live. You just will. You are doing it now. He's getting thinner and whiter every day. Don't. Oh, please don't do it. The princess was looking at the world. She was gazing at it so dazed like she seemed to be surprised at what she saw. She acted as if she'd never really seen it before. She looked and she looked. She even turned her horse a full circle to see all of it. And then she went around slowly. I stepped from one foot to the other in sweat, but I kept quiet and let her look. At last when she came around she glanced down at me, and she was all melted, and lovely as anyone you ever saw, exactly like Shelley at Christmas. And she said, I don't think I ever saw the world before. I don't know that I'm so crazy about a city myself, and I perfectly hate lawyers. Time to think of it, a lawyer helped work ruin in our family, and I never have believed. I never will believe. She stopped talking, and began looking again. I gave her all the time she needed. I was just straining to be wise, for Mother says it takes the very wisest person there is to know when to talk, and when to keep still. As I figured it, now was the time not to say another word, until she made up her mind about what I had told her already. If Priors didn't know what we thought of them by that time, it wasn't Mother's fault or mine. As she studied things over, she kept on looking. What she saw seemed to be doing her a world of good. Her face showed it every second, planer and planer. Pretty soon it began to look like she was going to come through, as Amos Hurd did when he was redeemed. Then before my very eyes it happened. I don't know how I ever held on to the pie, or kept from shouting, praise the Lord, as Father does at the meeting-house when he is happiest. Then she leaned toward me, all wavery, and shining-eyed, and bloomful, and said, Did you ever hurt Lattie's feelings, and make him angry and sad? I'm sure I never did, I answered. But suppose you had, what would you do? Do? Why I'd go to him on the run, and tell him I never intended to hurt his feelings, and how sorry I was, and I'd give him the very best kiss I could. The princess stroked Maud's neck a long time, and thought while she studied our farm, there is beyond it, and at the last, the far field where Lattie was plowing. She thought, and thought, and afraid to cheap, I stood gripping the shingle, and waited. Finally she said, The last time Lattie was at our house, I said to him those things he repeated to you. He went away at once, hurt and disappointed. Now, if you like, along with your precious pie, you may carry him this message from me. You may tell him that I said I am sorry. I could have cried glory, and danced and shouted there in the road, but I didn't. It was no time to lose my head. That was all so fine and splendid, as far as it went, but it didn't quite cover the case. I never could have done it for myself, but for Lattie I would venture anything. So I looked her in the eyes, straight as a dart, and said, He'd want the kiss, too, princess. You could see her stiffen in the saddle, and her fingers grip the reins, but I kept on staring right into her eyes. I could come up, you know, I offered. A dull red flamed in her cheeks, and her lips closed tight. One second she sat very still. When a dancing light leaped sparkling into her eyes, a flock of dimples chased each other around her lips, like swallows circling their homing-place at twilight. What about that wonderful pie, she asked me. I ran to the nearest fence-corner, and laid the shingle on the gnarled roots of a Johnny apple-seed, apple-tree. Then I sat one foot on the arch of the princess's instep, and held up my hands. One second I thought she would not lift me. The next I was on her level, and her lips met mine, in a touch-like velvet woven from threads of flame. Then with a turn of her stout little wrist she dropped me, and a streak went up our road. Nothing so amazing, and so important, ever had happened to me. It was an occasion that demanded something unusual. To cry, praise the Lord, was only to repeat an hourly phrase at our house. This demanded something out of the ordinary. So I said just exactly as Father did the day the brown mare balked, with the last load of seed-clover, when a big storm was breaking. JUPITER AMMON When I had calmed down so I could, I climbed to the fence, and reached through a crack for the pie. As I followed the cool, damp furrow, and laddie's whistle, clear as the larks above the wheat, thrilled me. I was almost insane with joy. Just joy! Pure joy! Oh, what a good world it was! Most of the time, most of the time. Of course there were pageant men in it. But anyway, this couldn't be beaten. I had a message for laddie from the princess, that would send him to the seventh heaven, wherever that was. No one at our house spent any time thinking farther than the first one. I had her kiss, that I didn't know what would do to him. And I also had a big piece of juicy rhubarb pie, not yet entirely cold. If that didn't wipe out the trouble I had made showing the old crest thing, nothing ever could. I knew even then that men were pretty hard to satisfy. But I was quite certain that laddie would be satisfied that morning. As I hurried along, I wondered whether it would be better to give him my gift first, or the princesses. I decided that joy would keep, while the pie was cold enough, with all the time I had stopped. And if I told him about her first, maybe he wouldn't touch it at all, and it wasn't so easy as it looked to carry it to him, and never even once stick in my finger for the tiniest lick. Joy would keep, but I was going to feed him. So with shining face, I offered the pie, and stood back, to see just how happy I could get. Mother sent it, asked laddie. People were curious that morning, as if I had a habit of stealing pie. I only took pieces of cut ones from the cellar when mother didn't care. So I explained again that Candice gave it to me, and I was free to bring it. Oh, I see, said laddie. After nearly two weeks of work, the grays had sobered down enough to stand without time. So he wound the lines around the plow-handle, sat on the beam, and laid aside his hat, having a fresh flower in the band. Once he started a thing, he just simply wouldn't give up. He unbuttoned his neckband, until I could see his throat, where it was white like a woman's, took out his knife, and ate that pie. Of course we knew better than to use a knife at the table, but there was no other way in the field. He ate that pie, slowly and deliberately, and between bites he talked. I watched him with a wide grin, wondering what in this world he would say in a minute. I don't think I ever had quite such a good time in all my life before, and I never expect to again. He was saying, talk about nectar and ambrosia, talk about the Feast of Lusulus, talk about food for the gods. I put on his hat, sat on the ground in front of him, and was the happiest girl in the world. Of that I am quite sure. When the last morsel was finished, Letty looked at me steadily. I wonder, he said, I wonder if there's another man in the world who is blessed with quite such a loving, unselfish little sister as mine. Then he answered himself, No, by all the gods and half-gods, I swear it, No. It was grand as a Fourth of July oration, or the most exciting part, when the bishop dedicated our church. I couldn't hold in another second. I could hear my heart beat. Oh, Letty, I shouted, jumping up. That pie is only the beginning of the good things I have brought you. I have a message, and a gift besides Letty. A message and a gift? Letty repeated. What, more? Truly I have a message and a gift for you. I cried, and Letty, they are from the princess. His eyes raised to mine now, and slowly he turned to Bethany-like. From the princess, he exclaimed, A message and a gift for me, little sister? You never would let Leon put you up to serve me a trick. That hurt. He should have known I wouldn't, and besides, Leon feels just as badly about this as any of us, I said. Have you forgotten he offered to plow, and let you do the clean, easy work? Forgive me, I am over-anxious, said Letty, his arms reaching for me. Go on and tell carefully, and if you truly love me, don't make a mistake. Crowding close, my arms around his neck, his crisp hair against my lips, I whispered my story softly. For this was such a fine and splendid secret, that not even the shining blackbirds, and the pert robins and the furrows were going to get to hear a word of it. Before I had finished, Letty was breathing as floss does when he races her the limit. He sat motionless for a long time, while over his face slowly crept a beauty that surpassed that of Apollo in his Greek book. And her gift? It was only a breath. She helped me up, and she sent you this, I answered. Then I set my lips on his, and held them there for a second, trying my level best to give him her very kiss. But of course, I could only try. Oh, Letty, I cried. Her eyes were like when stars shined down in our well. Her cheeks were like mother's damask roses. She smelled like flowers. And when her lips touched mine, little stickers went all over me. Then Letty's arms closed around me, and I thought sure every bone in my body was going to be broken. When he finished, there wasn't a trace of that kiss left for me. Remembering it would be all I'd ever have. It made me see what would have happened to the princess if she had been there. And it was an awful pity for her to miss it, because he'd sober down a lot before he reached her. But I was sure as shooting that he wouldn't be so crazy as to kiss her hands again. Peter wasn't a-patching to him. That night Letty rode to Priers. When he brought floss to the gate, you could see the shadow of your face on her shining flank. Her mane and tail were like raveled silk. Her hoofs bright as polished horn, and her muzzle was clean as a ribbon. I broke one of those rink green sprouts from the snow-bush, and brushed away the flies, so she wouldn't fret, stamp, and throw dust on herself. Then Letty came, fresh from a tubbing, starched linen, dressed in his new riding suit, and wearing top hat and gauntlets. He looked the very handsomest I ever had seen him, and at the same time he seemed trembling with tenderness, and bursting with power. Goodness' sake, I bet the princess took one good look and came down, like Davy Crockett's coon. Mother was on his arm, and she walked clear to the gate with him. "'Laddy, are you sure enough to go?' I heard her ask him, whisper-like. "'Sure as death,' Laddy answered. Mother looked, and she had to see how it was with him. No doubt she saw more than I did from having been through it herself. So she smiled, kind of a half-sad, half-glad smile. Then she turned to her damest rose-bush, the one Lucy brought her from the city, and that she was so precious about, that none of us dared touch it. And she searched all over it, and carefully selected the most perfect rose. When she borrowed Letty's knife, and cut the stem as long as my arm, I knew exactly how great and solemn the occasion was, for always before about six inches had been her limit. She held it toward him, smiling bravely and beautifully, but the tears were running straight down her cheeks. "'Take it to her,' she said. "'I think, my son, it is very like.' Laddy took her in his arms, and wiped away the tears. He told her everything would come out all right about God, and the mystery even. Then he picked me clear off the ground, and he tried to see how near he could come to cracking every bone in my body, without really doing it, and he kissed me over and over. It hadn't been so easy, but I guess he'll admit that paid. Then he rode away with the damest rose waving over his heart. Mother and I stood beside the hitching-rack and looked after him, with our arms tight around each other, while we tried to see which one could ball the hardest. CHAPTER 16 PART ONE OF LADDY A millstone and the human heart are ever driven round, and if they've nothing else to grind, they must themselves be ground. It seemed to me that my mother was the person who really could have been excused for having heart trouble. The more I watched her, the more I wondered that she didn't. There was her own life, the one she and father led, where everything went exactly as she wanted it to, and if there had been only themselves to think of, no people on earth could have lived happier, unless the pain she sometimes suffered made them trouble. And I don't think it would, for neither of them were to blame for that. They couldn't help it, they just had it to stand, and fight the stiffest they could to cure it. And mother always said she was better. Every single time anyone asked she was better. I hoped soon it would all be gone. Then they could have been happy for sure, if some of us hadn't popped up and kept them in hot water all the time. I can't tell you about Laddie when he came back from priors. He tore it on the house, then tore it up, and then threw around the pieces, and none of us cared. Everyone was just laughing, shouting, and every bit as pleased as he was, while I was the queen bee. Laddie said so himself, and if he didn't know, no one did. Priors had been lovely to him. And mother asked him how he made it, he answered. I wrote over, picked up the princess, and helped myself. After I finished I remembered the little unnecessary formality of asking her to marry me. And she said right out loud that she would. When I had time for them I reached father and mother prior. And maybe it doesn't show, but somewhere on my person I carry their blessing, genially and heartily given I am proud to state. Now I'm only needing yours, to make me a king among men. They gave it quite as willingly, I am sure, although you could see mother scrinj when Laddie said father and mother prior. I knew why. She adored Laddie, like the Bible says you must adore the Almighty. From a tiny baby Laddie had taken care of her. He used to go back, take her hand, and try to help her over rough places while he still wore dresses. Straight on he had been like that. Always seeing when there was too much work and trying to shield her. Always knowing when a pain was coming and fighting to head it off. Always remembering the things the others forgot. Going to her last at night, and his face against hers on her pillow the first in the morning, to learn how she was before he left the house. If you were the mother of a man like that, how would you like to hear him call someone else mother, and half the word slipped from his tongue so slick you could see he didn't even realize that he had used it? The answer would be, if you were honest, that you wouldn't have liked it any more than she did. She knew he had to go. She wanted him to be happy. She was as sure of the man he was going to be as she was sure of the mercy of God. That is the strongest way I know to tell it. She was unshakably sure of the mercy of God. But I wasn't. There were times when it seemed as if he couldn't hear the most powerful prayer you could pray. And when instead of mercy you seemed to get the last torment that could be piled on. Take right now. Laddie was happy, and all of us were in a way. And in another we were almost stiff with misery. I dreaded his leaving us so I would slip to the hawk oak and cry myself sick more than once. Whether any of the others were that big babies I don't know. But anyway they were not his little sister. I was. I always had been. I always would be for that matter. But there was going to be a mighty big difference. I had the poor comfort that I'd done the thing myself. Maybe if it hadn't been for stopping the princess when I took him that pie they never would have made up, and she might have gone across the sea and stayed there. Maybe she'd go yet, as mysteriously as she had come, and take him along. Sometimes I almost wished I hadn't tried to help him. But of course I didn't really. Then too I had sense enough to know that loving each other as they did, they wouldn't live on that close together for years and years, and not find a way to make up for themselves, like they had at the start. I liked Laddie saying I had made his happiness for him, but I wasn't such a fool that I didn't know he could have made it for himself just as well, and no doubt better. So everything was all right with Laddie. And what happened to us the day he rode away for the last time when he went to stay? What happened to us then was our affair. We had to take it, but every one of us dreaded it, while mother didn't know how to bear it, and neither did I. Once I said to her, Mother, when Laddie goes, we'll just have to make it up to each other the best we can, won't we? Oh, my soul, child, she cried, staring at me so surprised like. Why, how unspeakably selfish I have been! No little lost sheep ever ran this farm so desolate as you will be without your brother. Forgive me, baby, and come here. Gee, but we did cry it out together. The God she believed in has wiped away her tears long ago. This minute I can scarcely see the paper for mine. If you could call anything happiness, that was mixed with feeling like that. Why then, we were happy about Laddie. But from things I heard father and mother say, I knew they could have borne his going away, and felt a trifle better than they did. I was quite sure they had stopped thinking that he was going to lose his soul, but they couldn't help feeling so long as that old mystery hung over priors that he might get into trouble through it. Father said, if it hadn't been for Mr. Pryor, stubborn and perverted notions about God, he would like the man immensely, and love to be friends. And if Laddie married into the family, we would have to be as friendly as we could anyway. He said he had such a high opinion of Mr. Pryor's integrity, that he didn't believe he'd encouraged Laddie to enter his family if it would involve the boy in serious trouble. Mother didn't know. Anyway the thing was done, and by fall, no doubt, Laddie would leave us. Just when we were trying to keep a stiff upper lip before him, and whistling as hard as ever he had, to brace our courage, a letter came for Mother from the head of the music school Shelly attended, saying she was no longer fit for work, so she was being sent home at once, and they would advise us to consult a specialist immediately. Mother sat and stared at Father, and Father went to hitch the horses to drive to Groveville. There's only one other day of my life that stands out as clearly as that. The house was clean as we could make it. I finished feeding early, and had most of the time to myself. I went down to the big hill, and followed the top of it to our woods. Then I turned around, and started toward the road, just idling. If I saw a lovely spot, I sat down, and watched all around me, to see if a fairy really would go slipping past, or lie asleep under a leaf. I peeked and peered softly, going from spot to spot, watching everything. Sometimes I hung over the water, and studied tiny little fish with red, yellow, and blue on them, bright as flowers. The dragonflies would alight right on me, and some wore bright blue markings, and some bled red. There was a blue beetle, a beautiful green fly, and how the blue wasps did flip, flirt, and glint in the light. So did the blackbirds and the redwings. Their embankment was left especially to shade the water, and to feed the birds. Every foot of it was covered with alders, wild cherry, hazel bush, mulberries, everything having a berry or nut. There were several scrub apple trees, many red haws, the wild strawberries spread in big beds in places, and some of them were coloring. Wildflowers grew everywhere. Great beds were blue with chameleus, and the birds flocked in companies to drive away the water-black snakes that often found nests, and liked eggs and bird babies. When I came to the road at last, the sun was around, so the big oak on the top of the hill threw its shadow across the bridge, and I lay along one edge and watched the creek bottom, or else I sat up so the water flowed over my feet and looked at the embankment and the sky. In a way, it was the most peculiar day of my life. I had plenty to think of, but I never thought at all. I only lived. I sat watching the world go past through a sort of golden haze the sunmate. When a pair of kingbirds and three crows chased one of my hawks pel-mel across the sky, I looked on and didn't give a scent what happened. When a big black snake darted its head through sweet grass and cattails and caught a frog that had climbed on a mossy stone in the shade to dine on flies, I let it go. Any other time I would have hunted a stick and made the snake let loose. Today I just sat there and let things happen as they did. At last I wandered up the road, climbed to the back garden fence, and sat on the board at the edge of a flower bed. And today I could tell to the last butterfly about that garden, what was in bloom, how far things had grown, and what happened. Bobby flew under the Bartlett pear tree and crowed for me, but I never called him. I sat there and lived on, mostly watched the bees tumble over the bluebells. They were almost ready to be cut to put in the buttered tumblers for perfume like mother made for us. Then I went into the house and looked at Grace Greenwood, but I didn't take her along. Mother came past and gave me a piece of stiff yellow brocaded silk, as lovely as I ever had seen, enough for a dress skirt and a hand-embroidered shimmy sleeve that only needed a band and a button to make a petticoat for a queen-dell. But I laid them away and wandered into the orchard. I dragged my bare feet through the warm grass and finally sat under the beet-red peach tree. If ever I seemed sort of lost and sorry for myself. That was a good place to go. It was so easy to feel abused there, because you didn't dare touch those peaches. Fluffy baby chickens were running around, but I didn't care. There was more than a bird for every tree, bluebirds especially. They just loved us and came early and stayed late, and grew so friendly they nested all over the wood-house, smoke-house, and any place we fixed for them, and in every hollow apple-limb. Bobby came again, but I didn't pay any attention to him. Then I heard the carriage across the bridge. I knew when it was Father every single time his team touched the first plank, so I ran like an Indian and shinned up a cedar tree, scratching myself until I bled. A way up I stood on a limb, held to the tree, and waited. Water drove to the gate, and mother came out, with May, Candice, and Leanne following. When Shelly touched the ground and straightened, any other tree except a spruce having limbs to hold me up I would have fallen from it. She looked exactly as if she had turned to Tombstone, with eyes and hair alive. She stopped a second to brush a little kiss across mother's lips. To the others she said without even glancing at them, oh, do let me lie down a minute. The motion of that train made me sick. Well, I should say it did. I quit living, and began thinking in a hurry, and so did everyone else at our house. Once I had been sick and queened it over them for a while, now all of us strained ourselves trying to wait on Shelly, but she wouldn't have it. She only said she was tired to death, to let her rest, and she turned her face to the wall and lay there. Once she said she never wanted to see a city again so long as she lived. When mother told her about Laddie and the Princess to try to interest her, she never said a word. I doubted if she even listened. Father and mother looked at each other when they thought no one would see, and their eyes sent big, anxious questions flashing back and forth. I made up my mind I'd keep awake that night and hear what they said, if I had to take pins to bed with me and stick myself. Once mother said to Shelly that she was going to send for Dr. Fenner, and she answered, All right, if you need him, don't you dare for me, I'll not see him. All I want is a little peace and rest. The idea, not one of us ever had spoken to mother like that before in all our born days. I held my breath to see what she would do, but she didn't seem to have heard it, or to notice how rude it had been. While that told about as plain as anything what we had on our hands, I wandered around, and now there was no trouble about thinking things. They came in such a jumble I could get no sense from them. But one big black thought came over and over and over, and wouldn't be put away. It just stood and stayed, forced you, and made you look it in the face. If Shelly weren't stopped quickly, she was going up on the hill with a little fever and whooping cough sisters. There it was, you could try to think other things, to play, to work, to talk it down in the pulpit, to sing it out in a tree, to slide down the haystack away from it. There it stayed, and every glimpse you had of Shelly made it sureer. There was no trouble about keeping awake that night. I couldn't sleep. I stood at the window and looked down the big hill through the soft white moonlight, and thought about it. And then I thought of mother. I guess now you see what kind of things mothers have to face. All day she had gone around doing her work, every few minutes suggesting some new thing for one of us to try, or trying it herself. All day she had talked and laughed, and when Sarah Hood came, she told her she thought Shelly must be bilious, that she had travelled all night and was sleeping, but she would be up the first place she went. And then they talked all over creation, and Mrs. Hood went home and never remembered that she hadn't seen Shelly. She worked Mrs. Frescia off the same way. But you could see she was almost too tired to do it, so by night she was nearly as white as Shelly, yet keeping things going. When the house was still she came into the room and stood at the window as I had, until father entered. Then she turned, and I could see they were staring at each other in the moonlight, as they had all day. She's sick, asked father at last. Heart sick, said mother bitterly. We'd better have doc come. She said she isn't sick and she won't see him. She will if I put my foot down. Best not, Paul. She'll feel better soon. She's so young. She must get over it. They were silent for a long time, and then father asked in a harsh whisper. Ruth, can she possibly have brought us to shame? God forbid, cried mother, let us pray. Then those two people knelt on each side of that bed, and I could hear half the words they muttered, until I was wild enough to scream. I wished with all my heart that I hadn't listened. I had always known it was no nice way. I must have gone to sleep after a while, but when I woke up I was still thinking about it, and to save me I couldn't quit. All day, wherever I went, that question of fathers kept going over in my head. I thought about it until I was almost crazy, and I just couldn't see where anything about shame came in. She was only mistaken. She thought he loved her, and he didn't. She never could have been so bloomy, so filled with song, loved her and lovely like she was, if she hadn't truly believed with all her heart that he loved her. Of course it would almost finish her to give him up, when she felt like that, and maybe she did wrong to let herself care so much, before she was sure about him. But that would only be foolish, there wouldn't be even a shadow of shame about it. Besides, Letty had done exactly the same thing. He loved the princess until it nearly killed him when he thought he had to give her up, and he loved her as hard as ever he could, when he hadn't an idea whether she would love him back, even a tiny speck. And the person who wasn't foolish, and never would be, was Letty. The more I thought, the worse I got worked up, and I couldn't see how Shelley was to blame for anything at all. Love just came to her, like it came to Letty. She would hardly have knelt down, and beseeched the Lord to make her fall in love with a man she scarcely knew, and when she couldn't be sure what he was going to do about it. The Lord, the man, I mean. You could see for yourself she wouldn't do that. I finished my work, and then I tried to do things for her, and she wouldn't let me. Mother told me to ask her to make Grace Greenwood the dress she had promised when I was so sick. So I took the scotch plaid to her, and reminded her. And she pushed me away, and said, some time. I even got Grace, and showed Shelley the spills on her dress, and how badly she needed a new one. But she never looked. She said, oh, bother, my headaches, do let me be. Mother was listening. I could see her standing outside the door. She motioned to me to come away, so I went to her, and she was white as Shelley. She was sick, too. She couldn't say a word for a minute, but after a while she kissed me. I could feel the quivers in her lips, and she said stiff-like. Never mind, she'll be better soon, then she will. Run play now. Sometimes I wandered around, looking at things, and living dolly. I didn't try to study out anything. But I must have watched closer than I knew. For every single thing I saw, over that whole farm, I can shut my eyes and see to-day. Everything, from the old hawk tilting his tail to steer him and soaring, to a snake catching field-mice in the grass, leacons on the fence, flowers, butterflies, every single thing. Mostly I sat to watch something that promised to become interesting. And before I knew it, I was back on the shame question. That's the most dreadful word in the dictionary. There's something about it that makes your face burn, only to have it in your mind. Let he said he never had met any man who knew the origin of more words than father. He could even tell every clip what nationality a man was from his name. Hundreds of times I have heard him say to stranger people. From your name you'd be of Scotch extraction, or Irish, or whatever it was. And every time the person he was talking with would say, yes. Someday a way out in the field alone I thought I would ask him what people first used the word shame, and just exactly what it did mean, and what the things were that you could do that would make the people who loved you until they would die for you ashamed of you. Thinking about that, and planning out what it was that I wanted to know, gave me another idea. Why not ask her? She was the only one who knew what she had done away there in the city alone among strangers. I wasn't sure whether all the music a girl could learn was worth letting her take the chances she would have to in a big city. From the way Lattie and father hated them they were a poor place for men, and they must have been much worse for girls. Shelley knew why not ask her. Maybe I could coax her to tell me, and it would make my life much easier to know, and only think what was going on in fathers and mothers' heads and hearts when I felt that way, and didn't even know what there was to be ashamed about. She wouldn't any more than slap me, and sick as she was I made up my mind not to get angry at her, or ever to tell if she did. I'd rather have her hit me when she was so sick than to have Shelley beat me until she couldn't strike another lick just because she was angry. But I forgave her that, and I was never going to think of it again, only I did. Shelley kept sending Leon to the post office, and she met him at the gate half the time herself, and fairly snatched the letters from his hands. Hum! She couldn't pull the wall over my eyes. I knew she hoped somehow, some way, there would be a big fat one with Padgett, legal advisor, or whatever a Chicago lawyer puts on his envelopes. Jerry's just say, attorney at law. No letter ever came that had Padgett in the corner, or anything happened that did Shelley any good. Far otherwise, just before supper, Leon came from Groveville one evening, and all of us could see at a glance that he had been crying like a baby. He had wiped up, and was trying to hold in, but he was killed next. I nearly said, well, for heaven's sake another, when I saw him. He slammed down a big, long envelope, having printing on it before father, and glared at it as if he wanted to tear it to smithereens. And he said, if you want to know why it looks like that, I buried it under a stone once, but I had to go back, and then I threw it as far as I could send it, into Ditton's gully. But after a while I hunted it up again. Then he keeled over on the couch mother keeps for her in the dining-room, and sobbed until he looked like he'd come apart. Of course all of us knew exactly what that letter was from the way he acted. Father had told him, time and again, not to set his heart so. Father had too, and laddie, and every one of us. But that little half-Arab, half-Kentucky mare was the worst temptation a man who loved horses could possibly have. And while father and mother stopped at good workhorses, and matched roadsters for the carriage, they managed to prize and tend them, so that every one of us had been born horse-crazy, and we had been allowed to ride, care for, and taught to love horses all our lives, treat a horse ugly, and we'd have gone on the threshing floor ourselves. Father laid the letter face down his hand on it, and shook his head. "'This is too bad,' he said. "'It's a burning shame, but the money, the exact amount, was taken from a farmer in Medina County, Ohio. By a traveler he sheltered a few days, because he complained of a bad foot.' The description of the man who robbed us is perfect. The money was from the sale of some prized cattle. It will have to be returned.' "'Just let me see the letter a minute,' said Laddie. He read it over thoughtfully. He was long enough about it to have gone over it three times. Then he looked at Leanne, and his forehead creased in a deep frown. The tears slid down mother's cheeks, but she didn't know it, or else she'd have wiped them away. She was never mussy about the least little thing.' "'Father,' she said, father, that was as far as she could go. The man must have his money,' said father, but we'll look into this.' He pushed back the plates and tablecloth, and cleared his end of the table. Mother never budged to stack the plates, or straighten the cloth so it wouldn't be wrinkled. Then father brought his big account-book from the black walnut chest in our room, some little books and papers, sharpened a pencil, and began going up and down the columns and picking up figures here and there that he set on a piece of paper. I never had seen him look either old or tired before, but he did then. Mother noticed it too, for her lips tightened, she lifted her head, wiped her eyes, and pretended that she felt better. Laddie said something about doing the feeding, and slipped out. Just then Shelly came into the room, stopped, and looked questioning Leanne at us. Her eyes opened wide, and she stared at Leanne. Why, what ails him? She asked Mother. You remember what I wrote you about a man who robbed us, and the money Leanne was to have, provided no owner was found in a reasonable time, and the horse the boy had planned to buy, and how he had been going to priors. Oh, I think he's slipped over there once a day, and often three times all this spring. Mr. Pryor encouraged him, let him take his older horses to practice on, even went out and taught him cross-country riding himself. I remember, said Shelly. Leanne sobbed out loud. Shelly crossed the room swiftly, dropped beside him, and whispered something in his ear. Quick as a shot, his arm reached out and went around her. She hid her head deep in the pillow beside him, and they went to pieces together, clear to pieces. Pretty soon Father had to take off his glasses, and wiped them so he could see the figures. Mother took one long look at him, a short one, at Leanne and Shelly. Then she arose, her voice as even and smooth, and she said, While you figure, Father, I'll see about supper. I have tried to plan an extra good one this evening. She left the room. Now I guess you know about all I can tell you of Mother. I can't see that there's a thing left. That was the kind of soldier she was. Talk about crusaders and a good fight. All the blood of battle in our family wasn't on Father's side, not by any means. The Dutch could fight, too. Father's pencil scraped a little, a bee that had slipped in buzzed over the apple butter, while the clock ticked as if it used a hammer. It was so loud one wanted to pitch it from the window. May and I sat as still as mice when the cat is near. Candice couldn't keep away from the kitchen door to save her. And where Mother went, I had an idea. But she wasn't getting an extra good supper. Shelly and Leanne were quieter now. Leanne nudged me, and I saw that his arm was around her gripping her tight, while her hand on his head was patting him and fingering his hair. Colump, colump, came the funniest sound right on the stone walk leading to the east door, then a shrill wicker that made Father drop his pencil. Leanne was on his feet, Shelly beside him, while at the door stood Laddie grinning as if his face would split, and with her forefeet on the step and her nose in the room stood the prettiest, the very prettiest horse I ever saw. She was sticking her nose toward Leanne, winning softly, as she lifted one foot, and if Laddie hadn't backed her, she would have walked right into the dining-room. Come on, wise scope, she's yours, said Laddie. Take her to the barn, and put her in one of the cow stalls until we fix a place for her. Leanne crossed the room, but he never touched the horse. He threw his arms around Laddie's neck. Son, son, haven't you let your feelings run away with you? What does this mean?" asked Father sternly. CHAPTER 16 PART 2 THE HOMING PIDGEN There's nothing remarkable in a big six-footer like me buying a horse, said Laddie. I expect to purchase a number soon, and without a cent to pay in the bargain. I contracted to give five hundred dollars for this mare. She is worth more, but that should be satisfactory all around. I am going to earn it by putting five of Mr. Pryor's fancy, pedigreed horses in shape for market, taking them personally, and selling them to men fit to own and handle real horses. I get one hundred each, and my expenses for the job. I'll have as much fun doing it as I ever had at anything. It suits me far better than plowing even. Mother entered the room at a sweep, and pushed Leanne aside. Oh, you man of my heart, she cried. You man after my own heart. Laddie bent and kissed her, holding her tight as he looked over her head at Father. It's all right, of course, he said. I never have known of anything quite so altogether right, said Father. Thank you, Lad, and God bless you. He took Laddie's hand, and almost lifted him from the floor. Then he wiped his glasses, gathered up his books with a big, deep breath of relief, and went into his room. If the others had looked to see why he was gone so long, they would have seen him on his knees beside his bed thanking God as usual. Leanne couldn't have come closer than when he said. The same yesterday, today, and forever about Father. Leanne had his arms around the neck of his horse now, and he was kissing her, patting her, and explaining to Shelly just why no other horse was like her. He was pouring out a jumble all about the oasis of the desert, the tent dwellers, quoting lines from the Arab to his horse, blue grass, and gentleness combined with spirit, while Shelly had its head between her hands, stroking it, and saying, yes, to every word Leanne told her. Then he said, just tap on her back from that top step and ride her to the barn if you want to see the motion she has. Shelly said, has a woman ever been on her back? Won't she shy at my skirts? No, explained Leanne. I've been training her with a horse-blanket pinned around me, so Susie could ride her. She'll be all right. So Shelly mounted, and the horse turned her head and tried to rub against her. As she walked away, tame as a sheep. I wondered if she could be too gentle. If she went like the wind, as Leanne said, it didn't show then. I was almost crazy to go along, and maybe Leanne would let me ride a little while. But I had a question that it would help me to know the answer, and I wanted to ask Father before I forgot. So I waited until he came out. When he sat down, smiled at me, and said, well, is the girl happy for brother? I knew it was a good time, and I could ask anything I chose. So I sat on his knee, and said, Father, when you pray for anything that it's all perfectly right for you to have, does God come down from heaven and do it himself, or does he send a man like Laddie to do it for him? Father hugged me tight, smiling the happiest. Why, you have the whole thing right there in a nutshell, little sister, he said. You see, it's like this. The book tells us most distinctly that God is love. Now it was love that sent Laddie to bind himself for a long, tedious job to give Leanne his horse, wasn't it? Of course, I said, he wouldn't have been likely to do it if he hated him. It was love, of course. Then it was God, said Father, because God is love. They are one and the same thing. Then he kissed me, and that was settled. So I wondered, when you longed for anything so hard, you really felt it was worth bothering God about, whether the quickest way to get it was to ask him for it, or to try to put a lot of love into the heart of some person who could do what you wanted. I decided it all went back to God, though, for most of the time, probably, we wouldn't know who the right one was to try to awaken love in. I was mighty sure none of us ever dreamed Laddie could walk over to priors and come back with that horse in a way perfectly satisfactory to everyone, slick as an eel. You should have seen Leon following around after Laddie trying to do things for him, taking on his work to give him more time with the horses, getting up early to finish his own stunts so he could go over to priors and help. Mother said it had done more to make a man of him than anything that ever happened. It helped Shelly, too. Something seemed to break in her when she cried so with Leon because he was in trouble. Then he was so crazy to show off his horse, he had Shelly ride up and down the lane while he ran along and led, so she got a lot of exercise, and it made her good and hungry. If you don't think by this time that my mother was a beatenest woman alive, I'll prove it to you. When the supper bell rang, there was strawberry preserves instead of the apple butter, biscuit, fried chicken, and mashed potatoes. She must have slept those chickens into the skillet before they knew their heads were off. When Shelly came to the table, for the first time since she'd been home, had pink in her cheeks and talk some, and ate, too. Mother forgot her own supper. She fumbled over her plate, but scarcely even touched the livers, and those delicious little kidneys in the tailpiece, like Leon and I had at Shelly's wedding. When we finished, and it was time for her to give the signal to arise, no one had asked to be excused, she said, Let us have a word with the most high. Then she bowed her head, so all of us did, too. O Lord, we praise thee for all thy tender mercies, and all thy loving kindness. Amen. Of course, Father always asked the blessing to begin with, and mostly it was the same one, and that was all at mealtime. But this was a little extra, that Mother couldn't even wait until night to tell the Almighty she was so pleased with him. Maybe I haven't told everything about her after all. Father must have thought that was lovely of her. He surely felt as happy as she did, to see Shelly better. For he hugged and kissed her over and over, finishing at her neck like he always did. And then I behanged, if he didn't hug and kiss every last one of us, tight, even the boys. Shelly he held long and close, and padded her a little when he let her go. It made me wonder if the rest of us didn't get ours, so he'd have a chance at her without her noticing it. One thing was perfectly clear, if shame came to us, they were going to love her, and stick tight to her, right straight through it. Now that everything was cleared up so, Shelly seemed a little more like herself every day, although it was bad enough yet. I thought I might as well hurry up the end a little, and stop the trouble completely, so I began watching for a chance to ask her. But I wanted to get her away off alone, so no one would see if she slapped me. I didn't know how long I'd have to wait. I tried coaxing her to the orchard, to see a bluebird's nest. But she asked if bluebirds were building any different that year, and I had to admit they were not. Then I tried the blue-eyed Mary-bed. But she said she supposed it was still under the cling-peach tree, and the flower, two white petals up, two blue down, and so it was. Just as I was beginning to think I'd have to take that to the Lord in prayer, I got my chance by accident. May and Candice were forever going snake hunting. You would think anyone with common sense would leave them alone and be glad of the chance, but no indeed. They went nearly every day, as soon as the noon work was finished, and stayed until time to get supper. They did have heaps of fun and wild excitement. May was gentle and tender with everything else on earth, so I suppose she had a right to bruise the serpent with her heel. Really she used sticks and stones, if she wanted to. I asked her how she could, and she said there was a place in the Bible that told how a snake coaxed Eve to eat an apple, that the Lord had told her she mustn't touch, and so she got us into most of the trouble there was in the world. May said it was all the fault of the snake to begin with, and she meant to pay up every one she could find, because she had none of the apple, and lots of the trouble. Candice cried so much because Frederick Swartz had been laid in the tomb, that mother was pleased to have her cheer up, even enough to go snake hunting. The afternoon Mahittable Histe had come to visit May, so she went along, and I followed. They poked around the driftwood at the flood gate behind the barn, and were giving up the place. Candice had crossed the creek, and was coming back, and May had started, when she saw a tiny little one and chased it. We didn't know then that it was a good thing to have snakes to eat moles, field mice, and other pests that bother your crops. The Bible had no mercy on them at all, so we were not saving our snakes, and anyway we had more than we needed, while some of them were too big to be safe to keep, and a few poison as could be. May began to bruise the serpent, when out of the driftwood where they hadn't found anything came its mammy, a great big black snake, mad as you ever saw, with its pappy right after her, mad as ever, too. Candice screamed at May to look behind her, but May was busy with the snake, and didn't look quick enough, so the old mammy struck her right in the back. She just caught in the hem of May's skirt, and her teeth stuck in the goods. You know how a snake's teeth turned back, so she couldn't let go. May took one look and raced on the bank to the crossing, through the water and toward us, with the snake dragging and twisting, and trying her best to get away. May was screaming at every jump for Candice, and Mahitabel was flying up and down, crying, Oh, there's snakes in my shoes, there's snakes in my shoes! That was a fair sample of how much sense a heist he ever had. It took all Mahitabel's shoes could do to hold her feet. Her after-one went barefoot all week, and never put on shoes except on Sunday, or for a visit. The feet became so spread out, shoes had all they could do to manage them. And then mostly they pinched, until they made one squirm. But she jumped and said that, while May ran and screamed, and Candice gripped her big hickory stick, and told May to stand still. Then she bruised that serpent with her whole foot, for she stood on it, and swatted it until she broke its neck. Then she turned ready for the other one, but when it saw what happened to its mate, it decided to go back. Even snakes! It doesn't seem right to break up families like that. So by the time Candice got the mammy killed, loose from May's hem, and stretched out with the back up, so she wouldn't make it rain. When Candice was sure that father wanted rain, I had enough. I went down the creek until I was below the orchard. Then I crossed, passed the cow slip-bed, climbed the hill and fence, and stopped to think what I would do first. If there, only a few feet away was Shelly. She was sitting in the shade, her knees drawn up, her hands clasped around them, staring straight before her across the meadow, at nothing in particular that I could see. She jumped as if I had been a snake when she saw me. Then she said, Oh, is it you? Like she was half glad of it. My chance had come. I went to her, sat close beside her, and tried snuggling up a little. It worked. She put her arm around me, drew me tight, rubbed her cheek against my head, and we sat there. I was wondering how when the world I could ask her, and not get slapped. I was growing most too big for that slapping business anyway. We sat there, I was looking across the meadow as she did. Only I was watching everything that went on, so when I saw a gross beak fly from the wild grape, where Shelly had put the crock for sap, it made me think of her hair. She used to like to have me play with it so well, she'd give me pennies if I did. I got up, and began pulling out her pins carefully. I knew I was getting a start, because right away she put up her hand to help me. I can get them, I said, just as flannel-mouthed as ever I could, like all of us talk to her now. So I got everyone, and never pulled a mite. When I reached over her shoulder to drop them in her lap, being so close, I kissed her cheek. Then I shook down her hair, spread it out, lifted it, parted it, and held up strands to let the air on her scalp. She shivered and said, "'Mercy, child, how good does that feel?' My head has ached lately until it's a wonder there's a hair left on it.' So I was pleasing her. I never did handle hair so carefully. I tried every single thing it feels good to you to have done with your hair, rubbed her head gently, and to cheer her up, I told her about me and the snake, and what Fulma Hiddable had said. And she couldn't help laughing, so I had her feeling about as good as she could, for the way she actually felt. But still I didn't really get ahead. Come right to the place to do it. That was no very easy question to ask a person, when you wouldn't hurt their feelings for anything. I was beginning to wonder if I would lose my chance. When all at once a way I could manage popped into my head. Shelly, I said, they told you about Laddie and the Princess, didn't they? I knew they had, but I had to make a beginning some way. Yes, she said, I'm glad of it. I think she's pretty as a picture and nice as she looks. Laddie may have to hump himself to support her, but if he can't get her as fine close as she has, her folks can help him. They seem to have plenty, and she's their only child. They're going to. I heard Mr. Pryor ask Laddie if he'd be so unkind as to object to them having the pleasure of giving her things. Well, the Greenhorn didn't say he would. No, he didn't want to put his nose to the grindstone quite that close. He said it was between them. I should think so. Shelly, there's a question I've been wanting to ask someone for quite a while. What? Why this? You know Laddie was in love with the Princess, like you are when you want to marry folks, for a long, long time before he could be sure whether she loved him back. Yes. Well, now, suppose she never had loved him. Would he have had anything to be ashamed of? I can't see that he would. Someone must start a courtship, or there would be no marrying, and it's conceded to be the place of the man. No, he might be disappointed or dreadfully hurt, but there would be no shame about it. Well, then, suppose she loved him and wanted to marry him, and he hadn't loved her or wanted her. Would she have had anything to be ashamed of? I don't think so. If she was attracted by him, and thought she would like him, she would have a right to go to a certain extent, to find out if he cared for her. And if he didn't, why she'd just have to give him up, but any sensible girl waits for a man to make the advances, and plenty of them, before she allows herself even to dream of loving him, or at least I would. Now I was getting somewhere. Of course you would, I said. That would be the way mother would, wouldn't it? Surely. If that pageant man you used to write about had seemed to be just what you liked, you'd have waited to know if he wanted you, before you loved him, wouldn't you? I certainly would, answered Shelly, or at least I'd have waited until I thought, sure as death I knew. It seems that sometimes you can be fooled about those things. But if you thought, sure you knew, and then found out you had been mistaken, you wouldn't have anything to be ashamed of, would you? Not in your life I wouldn't, cried Shelly, hammering each word into her right knee with her doubled fist. What are you driving at, blather-skite? What have you got into your head? Oh, just studying about things, I said, which was exactly the truth. Shelly getting married last fall, and Lattie going to this, just started me to wondering. Fooled her too. Oh, well, there's no harm done, she said. The sooner you get these matters straightened out, the better able you will be to take care of yourself. If you ever go to a city, you'll find out that a girl needs considerable care taken of her. You could look out for yourself, Shelly. Well, I don't know as I made such a glorious fist of it, she said. But at least, as you say, I have nothing to be ashamed of. I almost hugged her head off. Of course you haven't, I cried. Of course you wouldn't have. I just kissed her over and over for joy. I was so glad my heart hurt for father and mother. Shame had not come to them. Now I guess I'll run to the house and get a comb, I told her. Go on, said Shelly, I know you are tired. I'm not in the least, I said. Don't you remember I always use a comb when I fuss with your hair? It is better, said Shelly. Go get one. As I got up to start, I took a last look at her. And there was something in her face that I couldn't bear. I knelt beside her and put both arms around her neck. Shelly, it's a secret, I said, and a breathless half whisper. It's a great big secret, but I'm going to tell you. Twice now I've had a powerful prayer all ready to try. It's the kind where you go to the barn all alone, stand on that top beam below the highest window, and look toward the east. You keep perfectly still, and just think with all your might. And you look a way over where Jesus used to be. And when the right feeling comes, you pray that prayer as if he stood before you. And it will come true. I know it will come true. The reason I know is because twice now I've been almost ready to try it. And what I intended to ask for happened before I had time, so I have saved that prayer. But Shelly, shall I pray about the pageant man for you? She gripped me, and she shook until she was all twisted up. You could hear her teeth click, she chilled so. The tears just gushed, and she pulled me up close and whispered right in my ear, yes. It was only pretend about the comb. What I really wanted was to get to father and mother quick. I knew he was at the barn, and he was going to be too happy for words in a minute. But as I went up the lane, I wasn't sure whether I'd rather pray about that pageant man or bruise him with my heel like a serpent. The only way I could fix it was to remember if Shelly loved him so, he must be mighty nice. Father was in the wagon, shoveling corn from it to a platform where it would be handy to feed the pigs. So I ran and called him and put one foot on a hub and raised my hands. He pulled me up, and when he saw how important it was, he saw on the edge of the bed, so I told him, Father, you haven't got a thing in the world to be ashamed of about Shelly. Praise the Lord, said Father, like I knew he would, but you should have seen his face. Tell me about it. I told him, and he said, well, I don't know, but this is the gladdest hour of my life. Go straight and repeat to your mother exactly what you've said to me. Take her away all alone, and then forget about it, new little blessing. Father, have you got too many children? No, he said, I wish I had a dozen more if they'd be like you. When I went up the lane, I was so puffed up with importance I felt too dignified to run. I strutted like our biggest turkey gobbler. The only reason you couldn't hear my wingscrap was because through mistake they grew on the turkey. If I had had them, I would have dragged them sure and cried, gee hobble hobble, at every step. I took mother away alone and told her, and she asked many more questions than father, but she was even gladder than he. She almost hugged the breath right out of me. Sometimes I get things right anyway. Then I took the comb and ran back to Shelly. I thought you'd forgotten me, she said. She had wiped up and was looking better. If ever I combed carefully, I did then. Just when I hit all the tangles out, there came mother. She had not walked that far in a long time. I thought maybe she could comfort Shelly, so I laid the comb in her lap and went to see how the snake hunters were coming on. It must be all right when the Bible says so, but the African jungle will do for me, and a pop gun is not going to scatter families. I never felt so strongly about breaking home ties in my life as I did then. There was nothing worse. It was not where I wanted to be, so I thought I'd go back to the barn and hang around Father, hoping maybe he'd brag on me some more. Going up the lane, I saw a wagon passing with the biggest box I ever had seen, and I ran to the gate to watch where it went. It stopped at our house, and Frank came toward me as I hurried up the road. "'Where are the folks?' he asked, without paying the least attention to my asking him over and over what was in the box. May and Candice are killing every snake in the driftwood behind the barn. Shelly and Mother are down in the orchard, and Father and the boys are hauling corn. "'Go tell the boys to come quickly and keep quiet,' he said, "'but don't let anyone else know I'm here.' That was so exciting I almost fell over my feet running, and all three of them came quite as fast. I stood back and watched, and I just danced a steady hop from one foot to the other while those men got the big box off the wagon and opened it. On the side I spelled Piano, so of course it was for Shelly. It was so heavy it took all six of them, Father and the three boys, the driver, and another very stylish-looking man to carry it. They put it in the parlor, screwed a leg on each corner, and a queer harp in the middle. Then they lifted it up and set it on its feet, under the what-not, and it seemed as if it filled half the room. Then Frank spread a beauteous wine-colored cover, all embroidered in pink roses with green leaves over it, and the stylish man opened a lid, set down, and spread out his hands. Frank said, soft pedal, mighty soft, so he smothered it down and tried only enough to find that it had not been hurt coming, and then he went away on the wagon. Father and the boys gathered up every scrap, swept the walk, and put all the things they had used back where they got them, like we always did. Then Frank took a card from his pocket and tied it to the music rack, and it read, for Shelly, from her brothers in fact and in law, to a corner of the cover he pinned another card that read, from Peter. What is that? Asked Father. That's from Peter, said Frank. Peter is great on finishing touches. He had to outdo the rest of us that much or bust. Fact is, none of us thought of a cover except him. How about this? Asked Father, staring at it as if it were an animal that would bite. Well, said Frank, it was apparent that practicing her fingers to the bone wouldn't do Shelly much good, unless she could keep it up in summer. And you and Mother always have done so much for the rest of us, and now Mother isn't so strong, and the expenses go on the same with these youngsters. We know you were figuring on it, but we beat you. Put yours in the bank, and try the feel of a surplus once more. Haven't had much lately, have you, Father? Well, not to speak of, said Father. Now let's shut everything up, ring the bell to call them, and get Shelly in here and surprise her. She's not very well, said Father. Mother thinks she worked too hard. She's all right now, Father, I said. She is getting pink again and rounder, and this will fix her grand. Wouldn't it, though? There wasn't one anywhere short of the city. Even the princess had none. Father hunted up a song book, opened it, and set it on the rack. Then all of us went out. We'll write to the boys, Mother and I, and Shelly also, said Father. I can't express myself just now. This is a fine thing for all of you to do. Frank seemed to think so too, and looked rather puffed up until Leon began telling about his horse. When Frank found out that Lattie, who had not yet branched out for himself, had given Leon much more than any one of them had Shelly, he looked a little disappointed. He explained how the piano cost $800, but by paying cash all at once, the man took $750, so it only cost them $150 apiece, and none of them felt it at all. Sometimes the clouds loom up pretty black, and Mother and I scarcely know how to go on, save for the help of the Lord, but we certainly are blessed with good children, children we can be proud of. Your mother will like that instrument as well as Shelly, son, said Father. Frank went out and rang the bell, told it, and made a big noise, like he always did when he came unexpectedly, and then sat on the back fence until he saw them coming and went to meet them. He walked between Mother and Shelly with an arm around each one. If he thought Shelly looked badly, he didn't mention it. What he did say was that he was starved and to fly around and get supper. I thought I'd burst. They began to cook, and the boys went to feed and see Leon's horse, and then we had supper. I just sat and stared at Frank and grinned. I couldn't eat. Do finish your supper, said Mother. I never saw anything take your appetite like seeing your brother. You'll be wanting a piece before bedtime. I didn't say a word because I was afraid to, but I kept looking at Leon, and he smiled back, and we had great fun. Secrets are lovely. Mother couldn't have eaten a bite if she'd known about that great shining thing, all full of wonderful sound, standing in our parlor. When the last slow person had finished, Father said, Shelly, won't you step into the front room and bring me that book I borrowed from Frank on taxation? I want to talk over a few points. All of us heard her little breathless cry, and Mother said, there, as if she'd been listening for something, and she'd be all of us to the door. Then she cried out too, and such a time as we did have. At last, after all of us had grown sensible enough to behave, Shelly sat on the stool, spread her fingers over the keys, and played at the place Father had selected. And all of us sang as hard as we could. Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home, and there was no place like ours. Of that, I'm quite sure. End of chapter 16, chapter 17, part one of Laddie. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain, recording by Bridget Gage. Laddie by Jean Stratton Porter, chapter 17, part one. In faith believing. Nor could the bright green world around, a joy to her in part, for still she missed the eyes that made the summer of her heart. Soon as she had the piano, Shelly needed only the pageant man to make her happy as a girl could be. And having faith in that prayer, I decided to try it right away. So I got Laddie to promise surely that he'd wake me when he got up the next morning. I laid my clothes out already. He merely touched my foot, and I came to, slipped out with him, and he helped me dress. We went to the barn when the morning was all gray. What the dickens have you got in your head now, chicken? He asked. Is it business with the fairies? No, this is with the most high, I said solemnly, like father, go away and leave me alone. Well, of all the queer chickens, he said, but he kissed me and went. I climbed the stairs to the threshing floor, then the ladder to the mow, walked a beam to the wall. There followed one to the west, and another to the little, high-up ventilator window. There I stood, looking at the top of the world. A gray mist was rising like steam from the earth. There was a curious color in the east, stripes of orange and flames of red, where the sun was coming. I folded my hands on the sill, faced the sky, and stood staring. I just stood and stood, never moving a muscle. By and by I began to think how much we loved Shelley, how happy she had been at Christmas, the way she was now, and how much all of us would give in money or time or love to make her sparkling, bubbling happy again. So I thought and thought, gazing at the sky, which every second became a grander sight. Little cold chills began going up my back, and soon I was talking to the Lord exactly as if he stood before me on the reddest ray that topped our apple trees. I don't know all I said. That's funny, for I usually remember to the last word. But this time it was so important, I wanted it so badly, and I was so in earnest that words poured in a stream. I began by reminding him that he knew everything, and so he'd understand if what I asked was for the best. Then I told him how it looked to us, who knew only a part. And then I went at him and implored and beseeched if it would be best for Shelley and would make her happy to send her the pageant man and to be quick about it. When I had said the last word that came to me and begged all I thought becoming, I don't think with his face that Jesus wants us to grovel to him. At least he looks too dignified to do it himself. I just stood there, still staring. I didn't expect to see a burning bush or a pillar of fire or a cloud of flame or even to hear a small still voice. But I watched so I wouldn't miss it if there should be anything different in that sunrise from any other I ever had seen. And there was not, not one thing. It was so beautiful and I was so in earnest my heart hurt. But that was like any other sunrise on a fine July morning. There wasn't the least sign that Jesus had heard me and would send the man. Yet before I knew it, I was amazed to find the feeling creeping over me that he was coming. If I had held the letter in my hand saying he would arrive on the noon train, I couldn't have grown sureer. Why, I even looked down the first time I moved to see if it had, but I was certain anyway. So I looked steadily toward the east once more and said, thank you with all my heart, Lord Jesus. Then I slowly made my way down and back to the house. Shelly was at the orchard gate waiting, so I knew they had missed me and that he had told them where I was and not to call. She had the strangest look on her face as she asked, where have you been? I looked straight and hard at her and said, it's all right, Shelly, he's going to come soon. But I didn't think it was a thing to mouth over. So I twisted away from her and ran to the kitchen to see if breakfast had all been eaten. I left Shelly standing there with her eyes wide, also her mouth. She looked about as intelligent as Mahiddleble heasty and it wouldn't have surprised me if she had begun to jump up and down and say there were snakes in her shoes. No doubt you have heard of people having been knocked, Shelly. I knew she was and so she had a perfect right to look that way until she could remember what she was doing and come back to herself. Maybe it took her longer because mother wasn't there to remind her about her mouth and I didn't propose to mention it. At breakfast mother said father was going to drive Frank home in the carriage and if I would like I might go along. I would have to sit on the back seat alone going but coming home I could ride beside and visit with father. I loved that for you could see more from the front seat and father would stop to explain every single thing. He always gave me the money and let me pay the toll. He would get me a drink at the spring, let me wait a few minutes at Ennard's riffles where their creek with the loveliest gravel bed ran beside the road and he always raced like wildfire at the narrows where for a mile the railroad ran along the turnpike. We took Frank to his office, stopped a little while to visit Lucy and give her the butter and cream mother sent, went to the store to see Peter and then to the post office. From there we could see that the veranda of the hotel across the street was filled with gaily dressed people and father said that the summer borders from big cities around must be pouring and fast. When he came out with the mail he said he better ask if the landlord did not want some of mother's corn and milkfed spring chickens because last year he had paid her more than the grocer. So he drove across the street, stopped at the curb and left me to hold the team. Maybe you think I wasn't proud. I've told you about Ned and Joe with their sharp ears, dappled sides and silky tails and the carriage almost new with leather seats, patent leather trimmings and side lamps so shiny you could see yourself in the brass. We never drove into the barn with one speck of mud or dust on it. That was how particular mother was. I watched the team carefully. I had to if I didn't want my neck broken but I also kept an eye on that veranda. You could see at a glance that those were stylish women. Now my mother liked to be in fashion as well as anyone could. So I knew she'd be mightily pleased if I could tell her a new place to set her comb, a different way to fasten her collar or about an unusual pattern for a frock. I got my drink at the spring. Father offered to stop at the riffle but I was enjoying the ride so much and I could always wait at home although our creek was not so beautiful as Enyards but for common waiting it would do. We went through the narrows like two shakes of a sheep's tail. Then we settled down to a slow trot and were having the loveliest visit possible. When in the bundle on my lap I saw the end of something that interested me. Mr. Agnew always made our mail into a roll with the advocate and the agriculturist on the outside and because everyone was so anxious about their letters and some of them meant so much I felt grown and important while holding the package. I was gripping it tight when I noticed the end of one letter much wider and fatter than any I ever had seen. So when father was not looking I began pushing it a little at one end and pulling it at the other to work it up until I could read the address. I got it out so far I thought every minute he'd notice and tell me not to do that but I could only see Stanton. All of us were Stanton so it might be for me for that matter. Jerry might be sending me pictures or a book. He did sometimes but there was an exciting thing about it. Besides being fatter than it looked right at the end it was plastered with stamps. Lots of them enough to have brought it clear around the world. I pushed that end back pulled out the other and took one good look. I almost fell from the carriage. I grabbed father's arm and cried stop stop this team quick stop them and see if I can read. Are you crazy child? Asked father but he checked the horses. No, but you were going to be in a minute. I said look at that. I yanked the letter from the bundle and held it over. I thought I could read but I was too scared to be sure. I thought it said in big strong upstanding letters Miss Shelley Stanton Groveville, Indiana and in the upper corner Blackburn Yeats and Paget Counselors of Law 37 to 39 State Street, Chicago I put my finger on the Paget and looked into father's face. I was no fool after all. He was not a bit sure that he could read than I was from the dazed way he stared. You see I said it says Paget. He said like he would come nearer believing it if he heard himself pronounce the word. I thought it said Paget, I gasped, but I wanted to know if you thought so too. Yes, it's Paget plain enough, said father, but he acted like there was every possibility that it might change to Jones any minute. It says Paget, plain as print. Father, I cried, clutching his arm. Father, see how fat it is. There must be pages and pages. Father, it wouldn't take all that to tell her he doesn't like her and he never wanted to see her again. Would it, father? It doesn't seem probable, said father. Father, don't you think it means there's been some big mistake and it takes so much to tell how it can be fixed? It seems reasonable. I gripped him tighter and maybe shook him a little. Father, I cried. Father, doesn't it just look hurry all over? Can't you speed up a little? They have all day to quill off. Oh, father, won't you speed a little? That I will, said father, get a tight hold and pray God it is good word we carry. But I prayed the one big prayer to get this, I said. It wouldn't be sent if it wasn't good. The thing to do now is to thank the Lord for all his loving kindnesses, like mother said. Drive, father, make them go. At first he only touched them up. I couldn't see that we were getting home so fast. But in a minute a cornfield passed like a streak. A piece of woods flew by a dark blur. A bridge never had time to rattle, and we began to rock from side to side a little. Then I gripped the top supports with one hand, the male with the other, and hung on for dear life. I took one good look at father. His feet were on the brace, his face was clear, even white, his eyes steely, and he never moved a muscle. When Joe thought it was funny that he was loose in the pasture and kicked up a little behind, father gave him a sharp cut with the whip and said, steady boy, get along there. Sometimes he said, I, I, easy, but he never stopped a mite. We whizzed past the church and cemetery and scarcely touched the big hill. People ran to their doors, even to the yards, and I was sure they thought we were having a runaway, but we were not. Father began to stop at the lane gate. He pulled all the way past the garden, and it was as much as he could do to get them slowed down so that I could jump out by the time we reached the hitching rack. He tied them and followed me into the house instead of going to the barn. I ran ahead, calling, Shelly, where is Shelly? What in this world has happened, child? asked mother, catching my arm. Her letter has come, her pageant letter, the one you looked for until you gave up. It's come at last. Oh, where is she? Be calmer, child, you frighten her, said mother. May snatched the letter from my fingers and began to read all that was on it. I burst out crying. Make her give that back, I sobbed to father. It's mine, I found it. Father, make her let me take it. Give it to her, said father. I'd rather feel that it is her right to deliver it. May passed it back, but she looked so disappointed that by how she felt I knew how much I wanted to take it myself. So I reached my hand to her and said, you can come along, we'll both take it. Oh, where is she? She went down in the orchard, said mother. I think probably she's gone back where she was the other day. Gee, but we ran, and there she was. As we came up, she heard us and turned. Shelly, I cried, here's your letter. Everything will be all right. He's coming, Shelly. Look quick and see when. Mother will want to begin baking right away. Shelly looked at me and said coolly. Patty, Ryan, what's the matter? Your letter, I cried, shoving it right against her hands. Your letter from Robert, from the pageant man you know. I told you he was coming. Hurry and see when. She took it and sat there staring at it so much like father that it made me think of him. So I saw that she was going to have to come around to it as we did, and that one couldn't hurry her. She just had to take her time to sense it. Shall I open it for you? I asked, merely to make her see that it was time she was doing it herself. Blessed if she didn't reach it toward me, sort of wooden-like, I stuck my finger under the flap, gave it a rip across, and emptied what was inside into her lap. Bet there were six or seven letters, and queer yellow envelopes I never before had seen any like, and on them was the name, Robert Paget. While in one corner it said, Return's dead letter. Also there was a loose folded white sheet. She sat staring at the heap, touching one, another, and repeating, Robert Paget, as she picked each up in turn. What do you suppose it means? She asked May. May examined them. You must read the loose sheet, she advised. No doubt that will explain. But Shelly never touched it. She handled those letters and stared at them. Father and mother came through the orchard, and stood together behind us. So Father knelt down at last, reached across Shelly's shoulder, picked one up, and looked at it. Have you good words, dear? Asked Mother of Shelly. Why I don't understand it all, said Shelly. Just look at all these queer letters addressed to Mr. Paget. Why should they be sent to me? I mustn't open them. They're not mine. There must be some mistake. These are dead letters, said Father. They've been written to you, couldn't be delivered, and so were sent to the dead letter office at Washington, which returned them to the writer, and unopened he has forwarded them once more to you. You've heard of dead letters, haven't you? I suppose so, said Shelly. I don't remember just now, but there couldn't be a better name. They've come mighty near killing me. If you'd only read that note, urged me, putting it right into her fingers. Shelly still sat there. I'm afraid of it, she said, exactly like I'd have spoken, if there had been a big rattlesnake coming right at me, when I'd nothing at hand to bruise it. Laddie and Leanne came from the barn. They had heard me calling, seen May and me run, and then Father and Mother coming down, so they walked over. What's up, asked Leanne. Has Uncle Levi's will been discovered, and does Mother get his Mexican minds? What have you got, Shelly, asked Laddie, kneeling beside her and picking up one of the yellow letters. I hardly know, said Shelly. I brought her a big letter, with all those little ones, and a note in it, and there from the pageant man, I explained to him. But she won't even read the note, and see what he writes. She says she's afraid. Poor child, no wonder, said Laddie, sitting beside her, and putting his arm around her. Suppose I read it for you. May I? Yes, said Shelly. You read it. Read it out loud. I don't care. She leaned against him, while he unfolded the white sheet. Oomph, he said, this does look bad for you. It begins, my own darling girl. Let me see, cried Shelly, suddenly straightening and reaching her hand. Laddie held the page toward her, but she only looked. She did an offer to touch it. My own darling girl, repeated Laddie tenderly, making it mean just all he possibly could, because he felt so dreadfully sorry for her. On my return to Chicago, from the trip to England, I have so often told you I intended to make sometime soon. Did he? asked Mother. Yes, answered Shelly. He couldn't talk about much else. It was his first case. It was for a friend of his, who had been robbed of everything in the world. Honor, relatives, home, and money. If Robert won it, he got all that back for his friend, and enough for himself, that he could, a home of his own, you know. Read on, Laddie. I was horrified to find on my desk every letter I had written you during my absence returned to me from the dead letter office, as you see. Good gracious, cried Mother, picking up one and clutching it tight, as if she meant to see that it didn't get away again. Go on, cried Shelly. I am enclosing some of them as they came back to me, in proof of my statement. I drove at once to your boarding-place, and found you had not been there for weeks, and your landlady was distinctly crabbed. Then I went to the college, only to find that you had fallen ill, and gone to your home. That threw me into torments, and all that keeps me from taking the first train, is a thought that perhaps you refuse to accept these letters for some reason. Shelly, you did not, did you? There is some mistake somewhere, is there not? One would be led to think so, said Father sternly. Seems as if he might have managed some way. Don't you blame him, cried Shelly. Can't you see it's all my fault? He'd been coming regularly, and the other girls envied me. Then he just disappeared, and there was no word or anything, and they laughed and whispered until I couldn't endure it, so I moved in with Peter's cousin, as I wrote you. But that left Mrs. Fleet with an empty room in the middle of the term, and it made her hopping mad. I bet anything she wouldn't give the postman my new address to pay me back. I left it, of course. But if I'd been half a woman, and had the confidence I should have had in myself and in him. Oh, how I've suffered, and punished all of you. Never you mind about that, said Mother, stroking Shelly's hair. Likely there isn't much in Chicago to give a girl who never had been away from her family before, confidence in herself or anyone else. As for him just disappearing like that, without a word or even a line. Go on, laddie. Surely you knew that I was only waiting the outcome of this trip to tell you how dearly I love you. Surely you encouraged me in thinking you cared for me a little, Shelly. Only a little will do to begin with. You see, I did have something to go on, cried Shelly, wiping her eyes and straightening up. No doubt you misunderstood, and resented my going without coming to explain, and bid you goodbye in person. But, Shelly, I simply dared not. You see, it was this way. I got a cable about the case I was always talking of, and the only man who could give the testimony I must have was dying. For land's sake, the poor boy, cried Mother, patting Shelly's shoulder. An hour's delay might mean the loss of everything in the world to me, even you. For if I lost any time and the man escaped me, there was no hope of winning my case, and everything, even you, as I said before, depended on him. Good Lord, I mean land, cried Leanne. If I could catch the train in an hour, I could take a boat at New York, and go straight through with no loss of time. So I wrote you a note that probably said more than I would have ventured in person, and paid a boy to deliver it. Kept the money and tore up the note, I bet, said me. I wrote on the train, but found after sailing that I had rushed so I had failed to post it in New York. I kept on writing every day on the boat, and mailed you six at Liverpool. All the time I have written frequently. There are many more here that this envelope will not hold, that I shall save until I hear from you. Well, well, said Father. Shelly, I beat death, reached my man, got the testimony I had to have, and won my case. Glory, cried Mother, praise the Lord. Then I scoured England, and part of the continent, hunting some interested parties. And when I was so long finding them, and still no word came from you, I decided to come back and get you, if you would come with me, and go on with the work together. Listen to that, more weddings, cried Leon. He dropped on his knees before Shelly. Will you marry me, my pretty maid, he begged. Young man, if you caught any capers right now, I'll cuff your ears, cried Father. This is no proper time for your foolishness. Shelly, I beg that you will believe me, and if you care for me in the very least, telegraph if I may come. Quick, I'm half insane to see you. I have many things to tell you. First of all, how dear you are to me. Please telegraph, Robert. Saddle a horse, Leon, Father, cried, as he unstrapped his wallet. Laddie, take down her message. Can you put it into ten words, asked Laddie. Mother, what would you say, questioned Shelly. Leon held up his fingers, and curled down one with each word. Say, dear Robert, well and happy, come when you get ready. But then I won't know when he's coming, objected Shelly. You don't need to, said Leon. You can take it for granted from the epistolary effusion that he won't let the grass grow under his feet while coming here. That's a bully message. It sounds as if you weren't crazy over him, and it's a big compliment to Mother. It looks as if she didn't have to know when people are coming, like she's ready all the time. Write it out and let me see, said Shelly. So Laddie wrote it, and she looked at it a long time. It seemed to me. At last, she said, I don't like that get. It doesn't sound right. Would R be better? Come when you are ready, repeated Laddie. Yes, that's better. Get sounds rather saucy. Why not put it, come when you choose, suggested Mother. That will leave a word to spare. So it won't look as if you had counted them and used exactly ten on purpose. And it doesn't sound as if you expected him to make long preparations, like the other. That will leave it with him to start whenever he likes. Yes, yes, cried Shelly. That's much better. Say, come when you choose. Right, said Laddie, as he wrote it. Now I'll take this. Oh, no you won't, cried Leon. Father told me to saddle my horse. She's got enough speed in her to beat yours a mile. I take that. Didn't you say for me to saddle, Father? Such important business, I think I'd better, said Laddie. And Leon began to cry. I think you should both go, said Shelly. It is so important, and if one goes to make a mistake, maybe the other will notice it. Yes, that's the best way, said Mother. Yes, both go, said Father. It was like one streak when they went up the big hill. Father shook his head. Poor judgment that, he said. Never run a horse uphill. But they're in such a hurry, Shelly reminded him. So they are, said Father. In this case I might have broken the rule myself. Now come all of you, and let the child get at her mail. But I want you to stay, said Shelly. I'm so atl-pated this morning. I need my family to help me. Of course you do, child, said Mother. Families were made to cling together and stand by each other in every circumstance of life, joy or sorrow. Of course you need your family. Maybe again sorting the letters by dates, so Shelly could start on the one that had been written first. Father ran his knife across the top of each and cut all the envelopes, and Shelly took out the first and read it. That was the train one. In it he told her about sending the boy with a note again, and explained more about how it was so very important for him to hurry, because the only man who could help him was so sick. We talked it over, and all of us thought the boy had kept the money and torn up the note. Father said the way would have been to send the note and pay the boy when he came back. But Shelly said Mr. Paget would have been gone before the boy got back, so Father saw that wouldn't have been the way in such a case. Next she read one written on the boat. He told more about sending the boy, how he loved her, what it would mean to both of them if he got the evidence he wanted and won his first case, and how much it would bring his friend. The next one told it all over again, and more. In that he wrote a little about the ocean, the people on board the ship, and he gave Shelly the name of the place where he was going, and begged her to write to him. He told her if the ship he was on passed another, they were going to stop and send back the mail. He begged her to write often, and to say she forgave him for starting away without seeing her, as he had been forced to. The next one was the same thing over, only a little more yet. In the last he had reached England, the important man was still living, but he was almost gone, and Mr. Padgett took two good witnesses, all the evidence he had, and went to see him, and the man saw it was no use, so he made a statement, and Robert had it all written out, signed, and witnessed. For the real straight sense there was in that letter, I could have done as well myself. It was a wild jumble, because Robert was so crazy over having the evidence that would win his case, and he told Shelly that now he was perfectly free to love her, all she would allow him. He said he had to stay a while longer to find his friends' people, so they would get back their share of the money, but it was not going to be easy to locate them. You wouldn't think the world so big, but maybe it seemed smaller to me, because as far as I could see from the top of our house was all I knew about it. After Shelly had read the letters, and the note again, Father heaved a big sigh that seemed to come clear from his boot-soles, and he said, Well, Shelly, it looks to me as if you had found a man. Seems to me that's a mighty important case for a young lawyer to be trusted with in a first effort. Yes, but it was for Robert's best friend, and only think he has won. I don't see how he could have done better if he'd been old as Methuselah, and wise as Solomon, boasted mother. But he hasn't found the people who must have back their money, said May. He will have to go to England again, and he wants to take you, Shelly. My, you'll get to sail on a big steamer, cross the Atlantic Ocean, and see London. Maybe you'll even get a peep at the Queen. Shelly was busy making a little heap of her letters. When the top one slid off, I reached over and put it back for her. She looked straight at me, and smiled the most wonderful and the most beautiful smile I ever saw on anyone's face. So I said to her, You see, I told you he was coming. I can't understand it, said Shelly. You know I told you. Of course I do, but what made you think so? That was the answer, just that he was coming. What are you two talking about, asked Mother. Shelly looked at me, and waited for me to tell Mother as much as I wanted to, of what had happened. But I didn't think things like that were to be talked about before everyone. So I just said, Oh, nothing. Only I told Shelly this very morning that the pageant man was coming soon, and that everything was going to be all right. You did? Well, of all the world, I can't see why. Oh, something told me, I just felt that way. More of that fairy nonsense, asked Father sharply. No, I didn't get that from the fairies. Well, never mind, said Shelly rising, because she saw that I had told all I wanted to. Little sister did tell me this morning that he was coming, that everything would be made right, and it's the queerest thing. But instantly I believed her. Didn't I sing all morning, Mother? The first note, since Robert didn't come when I expected him in Chicago weeks ago. Yes, said Mother. That's a wonderfully strange thing. I can't see what made you think so. Anyway, I did, I said. Now let's go have dinner. I'm starving. End of chapter 17, part one.