 I mean, growing up, for me personally, something that I always thought that a man was was, I always, I always looked at my, my dad as what a man should be like. Just being in the house, like, in that being the immediate person that's in my life that's a man in the male figure, everything that he does, I feel like I always had to emulate or try to be like that because that's what I knew what a man was. Does anybody else feel that way? Like I said, I mean, I totally agree with you. Like, you know, your father cannot have a doubt of being in the house. That means more than, you know, just a father that picked you up on the weekend and gave you everything you want. So, I totally agree with you. You guys say in today's society there's an absence of you? Why is that? You're never born a man or a woman at some point you matured to those things. And everybody is not going to step up to the place to become and matured to those things. Thank you. At what point in, I guess, in a male's life do you think that happens? Do you think they transition into men? I think high school, yeah. Why high school? Because you're at that point where you kind of, you kind of find yourself and it's easy to get sidetracked in high school. You know, like from middle school to high school, you know, some of your friends they change. Like, either for the better or for the worse, like, that's like the right time to catch them and kind of mold them into, you know, how their future is going to turn out. That's interesting. You guys know, like, in movies and stuff, about history, like, 300 and stuff, there's always a certain point where they have to do, like, a right of passage into manhood. Like, they have to survive in the wilderness for a week or something like that. Obviously it's not like that today in recent America. But do you guys think there's a form, like, there's a type of right of passage that we have within our culture? That tells other people that I'm not a boy. You can kind of say after high school. Because, like, when you graduate, you're like, oh, what do I do now? And then you have to go out and, you know, figure out your own path. Yeah, that's it. It's really, like, pretty much everything after high school that is just the rest of your life is just, you're proving that you're a man, really. Just, like, everything's a test. Everything's a new hurdle that you have to pass. After high school, it's like, you're out on your own. It's you against the world. That's pretty much it. I say prioritizing. I think prioritizing shows what you put first shows a lot about you. You know, you have to put God first, then your family, then school, then whatever. I think whatever you prioritize first, such as partying rather than going to the library till 11 o'clock to study, you know, those two things are, I think, I think that's really, like, my father died when I was young. So my brother, like, they always say you're supposed to take that role as a man. Like, you're the man now. Like, although he was young, he was like 13, he still hadn't prioritized. Like, you have brothers and sisters, now you're supposed to help your mom. So I think that really made him a man. Like, although he was an adolescent, he still took on that role as a man. Are there any, like, figures, whether it's fictional characters or real people, that really think of this guy kind of like she said in the video, that's how he is? If you think of this person, you think that's a man. What would you guys say? I'd say to rock. Yeah, technically, it is like how, like in all the movies, you know, what's the one big thing? Walk tall. Walk tall. He got a big thing in the movie. That's right. Yeah. Okay. Like, it happened to me. He's on the hold on taking care of his family and protecting them. That he's willing to put himself in danger. He's willing to put himself in danger. He's willing to put himself in danger as long as he can take care of his family and people. That's what I feel like a man is supposed to do at some point in time. You're supposed to be like, okay, I know mom and dad are some people I love and people I care about. I think somebody too. Also, while I say, there was this line that J. Cole said, and I thought about it, and it was real though, because he said, he said, rest in peace one time, Uncle Phil, for real, you're the only father that I ever knew. Right? And when I think about it personally, I think Uncle Phil was actually a good father figure. He was a successful judge. He was living nice, but also he put his foot down when he needed to. He took in his nephew who, for one reason or another, had to come stay with him. You feel what I'm saying? So I think Uncle Phil was great. He said something to you, right? What does a man look like? Like physical features? He does a matter. He does a matter? I see him. You guys speak. You guys speak. I think, personally, I think a man should be somewhat physically imposing, because, you know, we say it's supposed to be a protector and things like that. You have to be able to protect somebody. Whether it's being big, whether it's being mentally strong, physically strong, whatever the case may be, I don't think your woman should have to fight you out. Well, your kids are running you a disk and everyone is your woman at their scale. So, personally, what I think of a man, whether or not I'm right, I think it's somebody who is somewhat muscular, somewhat big, some way. Those are how to protect themselves, you know, personally. So when you say that someone who's not built can't protect their children. They still wash their arms or something, but that means they can't. I don't know if I'm not good at all. And he knows martial arts. Probably so. But I'm just saying that's what I think of when I visualize a man. I'm not saying you have to be that to be a man. But, you know, when I think of a man, I think of, like, a quiet confidence. So not necessarily somebody walking right here and being there, but, you know, it's somebody that by their demeanor, by the way they carry themselves, you can tell, you know, let me respect myself, too. Let me not, you know, mess around the same thing, you know, derive it towards them. But that's what I think of when I think of a man. Does anybody disagree with that? Oh, no, I'm just saying I disagree with you. You disagree with me? Why? Because I don't think you're a physical character to me. It's like judging a woman. I know a small frame, tiny people that would play way quicker than the biggest person in the room that would hold down that family or whoever. Me, I'm 5'7". I wouldn't back down from someone 6'4". I'm the most new man on the street. I'm 20 years old. I just know it's just been a trance for me. I'm not saying I'm doing it. I'm a man. You're not that punk like nobody's there. My dad's the same way. You're 5'6". I'm taller than him. You're not that punk like nobody's there. I don't think that makes you a man. Because you're big in this room. Or you look aggressive. Or you carry yourself with confidence. I don't have anything to say. I agree. I agree with you. I mean, I don't think, you know, that physical character is just what makes you man. You know what I'm saying? I feel like a man is a man of heart and mind. You're using it. You go, you look just like me. I'm lost myself. I keep going. I'm so sorry. Very beautiful. I agree with you. I don't think people say that every man is supposed to be muscular and billy. It's just like the first thing, that's just the first thing. You think of physicality as the word means. You think of somebody who's bigger. Or whatever. Why do you think, like, it's somebody who, in some type of way, has posted a white period of whether it's because of their physicality, mentally, or something. It's nothing about them that you just know life. I don't know. It's just, like, if I scare another dog in here for some type of reason, because probably, I'm probably scared of everybody in here talking to me. I ain't gonna let y'all bitch me, but... It's something about everybody. That everybody cares, and they have more than one. That it's something about them that other people know. You know, maybe they're about to get shit. Like, just a little bit. It might not be your physical activity, but it's your mental activity. I agree with you. What's your name? Ace. Okay, I agree with Ace, because a man who just can't go off post-physical features because we have a lot of people that now are not born men, but they are men. So if you go off a physical feature and you see that person, they're probably born a woman, but with a sex change, they look like a man. So I think that it's more than your physical features because I'll take care of your family, set an example, be in a role model, and provide them. Not necessarily being built, because you can be built, and not be proud, and be at home with no job, and not care about anything. So it's just more than, how you feel. Very good. Not to take sides, but only care about how you use it as an asset. You know what I'm saying? It's like a benefit for you, or an advantage. But other than that, I agree with him, it's not going to make you a man. You just don't say anything wrong. What is a man? What is a man, Chris? When you think of man, what comes to mind? The question I have is, what age frame you're talking about? What age, yeah, age will have a different, it will make a difference in how they drag, because it'll make a difference in how they look at men and women. But I think mentally, it's when you change mentally that makes you a man, or a woman. So it's not really an age, because like she said, her brother took on the role of the man in the house when he was 13 years old. Like, he might have dressed a certain way, but it's his mentality that made him a man. Right, when man, his mentality changed, I'm pretty sure he still dressed like a teenager. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Based on your age, that's the way the trend is. Right, right. No, I'm saying, I'm saying just like, it's a profession. Like, what do you think of man? Do you think, is it soup? Do you think, do you think of workplace? I think, I think it's real, it's like down the middle for me, it's either your clean cut, you know, you got yourself together, whether it's for Sunday, for church, or for your job, or if you got a little bit of dirt under your fingers, it's because you out there grinding, you know, or if you got something on your knees, it's because you out there, grinding, you know, you're getting dirty, trying to make money. That's the thing. That's the thing. That's the thing. That's the thing. That's the thing. No man, it's like, you can't, see the problem is with this, and like, we're trying to put like, men and women in small categories, like in a box, and it's like, it's hard to define men and women into this small box, because anything women can do, men can do, and vice versa. Not vice versa. No man, it's not vice versa. That's biological, that's biological. That's biological, I'm not talking about biological, because when you look at it, when you look at it, what really defines a man is what I've been hearing is responsibility. I wouldn't say responsibility, too. That's what makes her a woman. That's what makes a man a man. But you also have to take in the biological aspect of it, because we're not the same lila. Yeah, yeah. So, that's the only thing that separates us. That's the only thing that separates us. But you still have to take into account, to take, like, with a woman who can do a man who can do a woman who can do a woman. I don't believe in that statement that a woman can do a man who can do a woman. I don't believe in that statement. I feel like God has created a man who can do a man who can do a woman who can do a woman who can do a woman. So, the moment a woman starts to do what a man does, there's a problem somewhere in there. I can't do what a man can do, because I'm not a woman. I don't know what a woman does. Because I'm not a woman. So, saying that what a man can do, what a man can do, she might do it simply, but at least a slight difference. You know what I'm saying? If a woman, if a woman has a post of men, for example, if a woman had been close to where you're at and God, people would have a good idea. Immediately. People would have a good idea. You could be on the coast, you could be on the coast, you could be on the coast, you could be on the coast, you could go fromaudd, you could be on the coast, you could go fromaudd, you could go fromaudd, those guys at home that are close to America, but it doesn't have access. Absolutely nothing. The guy on the coast doesn't matter, but they ask them women. I Can't teach you as a female your mom can't really teach you what a man Like your mom can definitely tell you don't take this from a man don't find a man like this or whatever She can help you mark a permanent state, but as a female she can't directly tell you how to get a male Just like she wouldn't be able to teach if you had a brother. She can't teach your brother how to be a man You guys What is our definition What differentiates an average man One day That mindset is just Get it now don't worry about later as long as you're good for now You don't have to worry about later where as a man his mindset is If you get it now you need to make sure you have it then you can sustain it till later like He's gonna hustle We're I I Feel like a guy an average guy as opposed to an average nigga because it's But an average guy has a singular approach to life He is right now. I'm thinking about my mom's my biggest my bag as opposed to a man has a very Global kind of appeal and yeah, it's just broad his perspective on life is broad He's concerned with himself, you know better himself his family his community You know things like that. So he's thinking about the future But an average guy is thinking about the right now the hustle right now as opposed to sustainability You know for a long time. So a real man is thinking about providing and planning and protecting his family Okay That you saw in white man The difference, uh, well how he approached me was very different He actually approached me with his business card and um He asked for my first and last name So it's just versus you see most black guys who were trying to help me like a halo mama And it is We're active white, you know, like that's uh, that's Black man, I want to say we have black men from the Caribbean. We have opportunities So when you say most black men Yeah I think what we can say is a culture difference Can we say culture is that more better? Maybe a culture difference and and everybody's different. Um, somebody had their hand raised over it Yes, oh, I'm just gonna say that like for me I've noticed that like white men actually like care about a black woman a little bit more than our I think if we boil it down because what a man is you might not have encountered a lot of black males because There is a lack of There is a lack of we know that most our males are in jail or selling drugs that limited You know and they limit themselves Due to their environment due to whatever the culture or whatever it is limit us from being that many black men But if he met a black man, he would approach you Just like him just like those two. He would approach you just like them and you want to see that There's a little care about you if you met a black man See The one that yo, yo, yo, mom you and all that that's not a black man Okay, if a white guy approached me at 15 and we like hello How are you asking me my name and all that that he asked her why can't a black guy do the same thing? Let me tell you what this sounds like it sounds like you're saying that a man what you're subliminally saying is that A man should have chivalry Is that is that that's what it sounds like and you're saying that there's a lack of chivalry in black Yeah It's a lack of chivalry in black males Yeah, but there's a difference between a male and a man like just like there's a difference between a female and a woman So there's a lack in males, but I don't think there's a lack of men because I've said men are a whole far away from this monitor I don't agree with that. I don't think it's just black males, black men, white males, white men There's a separation wrong if you can't have respect for yourself You can't respect others and you don't have any type of respect and you know I mean you have to respect every kind of whether they're in the same market right So it sounds like everybody's coming to a consensus that chivalry is a part of men Why ain't a chivalry that's respect That's just what's good when it's don't come up to anybody and be like a because then I'm going to be like me I Just Why not try to change the culture then why not be the change that you want to see in the world? I mean if I'm gonna walk up to someone I'm gonna treat them the way I want to be treated. I'm not gonna say Make that change like that First of all give her what she's used to Bring that closer and give her what you are used to Because if you don't have to do the right, you see how do you get here the first time? By being territory, that's the way you are supposed to be here If you just repair So don't you give her what she's used to so she'll give you a little bit of her time And then exactly Because the first time you can be this big I walk up to girls who are told that they don't care about me But I'm going down the right way and they want to let go and they wanted that to know that I didn't want myself to go to the US I wish in a No, you like she said you sound like you don't know your outfit. Like you stuff on the letter a like you didn't go to kindergarten You can't be past a I wanted you to oppose me with hey, how you doing? My name is so so can I be sure to even know that's not what I'm used to is what I was saying So I feel like when you said you should kind of like How your culture I feel like you should everybody is the same there like Yeah But I'm going to approach anybody no matter where they're from. I'm not going to change who I am That's what I'm saying because when you're a stereotype of somebody and approach them in a different manner You're changing you so I'm not going to change who I am because who you are Deidre comes into Deidre a hundred percent of the time So why why not approach me like who's these rather than approaching me like the dude that just approached me before I think I think Is the fact that in our society there is a lack of men lack of males it's it's It's almost a hard pill to swallow Like I feel like if the average girl was that close by a man She wouldn't know how to handle it And she would she would most likely push him away rather than accept him Because unfortunately there's a lack of fathers. There's a lack of of Leaders male leaders There's a lack of people that we can say, okay, this guy's a sponsor and this guy's what a man should be So whenever you approach what a man should be and whether it's a friend whether it's somebody who's trying to talk to you In case maybe you're more going to be like Then accept And that's that's what the problem is So there is a lack of men And there's a lack of appreciation for men That's that's what I think Let's transition in the world A lot of dudes don't know how to really see a woman for what she really is In a way women kind of get Women kind of get judged based Kind of like on your actions. I'm not going to approach a girl In a way that I would come at a woman It's not gonna happen. But the reason why I say women our life is because like There's a lot of guys that be the women. There's a lot of guys that kind of like mistreat them in certain ways, but When I say that their life like we all started from that like we all came from that like How do you how do you feel? Mistreat in something that Yeah, you're like it's so precious. It's so precious and You know, like we see kind of like girls like You know getting used using themselves for other stuff and then like They want a certain amount of respect from us like how do you expect me to Treat you like life If you're not treating yourself like you're as precious as life yourself like I don't get it But you want me to give you that respect So they sound like what you're saying is um, it almost sounds like you're saying A woman is somebody who reminds you of your mom I mean, it's not it's not even just my mother It's just life in general because if you think about it mother nature It's like everything is kind of like surrounded by women because their life their life Their life bringers their life givers their Their creators, you know what I'm saying? So like we can't get anywhere without women Period if a dude was mad angry and was like man, I just for some reason I just hate women Which they were going to burn you would be gone and none of us would exist Not even this not even the stuff that women have done throughout history, but In general being life givers like that's really important and we overlook that every single day Every single day if I want it I would say this modern generation So the moment you find out A good woman She is a better procedure You find out a good woman that you capitalize on But none of it Is a capital right that week Then for me, you know, I wouldn't you know, I would have to take my time And you know recognize what is a nice woman and that's what is not a hair Maybe she's not When you guys are saying give like you mean in the in the biological sense or in the sense that you're pooping Somebody's like like making a house a home I mean same I mean saying that there's there's gonna be I mean, of course we have like the base biological one But like, you know, there's women that step up to that role of like, well, look I'm gonna make sure that I'm gonna do everything I can for my kids Regardless Regardless, I have to have respect for that I have to approach you with a certain amount of respect. I'm not gonna disrespect you in no type of way It'll be like, okay, you a single I know for a fact that you're a single mom. You got five kids But I'm thinking about Trying to get some jays from I'm not gonna do that. It's a certain, you know respect type thing You can't do that to someone who's trying to be her best as a mother. It's just an example. I'm like, you know Saying like that, but Yeah I agree with what my man said even what Derek said earlier As far as women give a life and Derek said anything, you know, a woman can do, you know, a man can do the science You know, it takes a man to help give a life. A woman can't just have a baby You know what I'm saying by itself. You have to take the man and earlier since we're saying when we give a life You know What I mean From So he gave you responsibility to the man and the woman So like I said, like he said, women can give you the same thing a man can do. So we say what a woman is Just about everything you say a man can do just by everything a man can do a woman can do. That's how I feel about But I feel like I feel like I'm not saying one is more important than the other but And women are special in their own right, but it's something about a man that is very important like There's a reason why I'm gonna put it this way since you talked about the Bible It's a reason why Jesus was heard of God as as his father and not his mother You get I'm saying because there's an important there's an important role that a man plays I'm not saying that it's that is that everybody has a different role I'm not saying one is more important than the other but I feel like I don't think that everything a man can do a woman can do if I'm progressive I feel what you're saying when you say like the father thing The reason like I think the reason why I said the woman thing in life is because we kind of Well, me personally, I kind of know that about the father and you know the importance of a man Like that's kind of like instead of I know that um But with women, we kind of don't really know how important they really are Or we don't really realize how important they really are to us. So that's why I kind of spoke a man more than the father thing All right like we said earlier There's a distinction between a male and a man Is there a distinction between a female and a woman? And if there is what is that distinction? Because it's it's harder to tell you know the difference between a boy and a man than it is a girl and the woman The woman's not a walker or ass I like to have a flunk in this If there were some names that she shouldn't be doing toward the video or all that kind of thing I think it's just as clear to see a guy who Carries himself as a man and a guy who carries himself as a boy versus a woman who carries himself as a woman And not even a child Any true woman as being a Respecting the body, respecting the person, respecting the other kids Whatever it is If your kids are actually at grandma's house Coming at their grandma's house 95% of the time And it's not because you're working or in school That's not a woman because you're not even trying to step up to a woman Where you get more than things At a woman's house And not trying to step up to that Everybody's a woman You didn't want to make that a woman Alright how do you How do you find a woman How do you find How do you find a woman How do you find a woman Well the woman is She actually takes it before she asks Before she asks And if you say how do you find A woman Her location How do you find something So you don't really write about her You know What is the right word Well I would say Some of our men can give you more chances To find a better woman So let's say I have a church You should take a time For the people Who are also women You can't come to that place You take one man What Say no to that I'm a man I'm a woman I'm a woman I'm a man I'm a man I'm a man I didn't know I didn't know I didn't know I didn't know I didn't know I didn't know I'm sorry I'm a woman I'm a female on the church You can go to church You can see all these people But they're not found there I met a street I used to be the 5th I was sitting in the house I met a street I met a street I was standing What did she do? She just, she told me to wait for her to go out and say hi to him. I just helped her to go out to the clinic. I saved my life. save my life. If I have a good day, I'll be able to go out. What do you invest in? Everything for me. Everything for me is working. I'm not the type that makes money. I take advantage of, you know, living expenses? Because I have money. It all happened because of you. All right! She's the best. She puts down her money when she was saying that the choir and not our You guys think different cultures, like for example, ours versus American culture, any culture has different expectations of what we're doing this, that may not agree with another culture. Yeah, also, there's some of this where they're not allowed to show skin, their feet, and their hands or anything like that. I'm not sure if they live under those emotions and keep their hair coming out, and they can't do certain jobs, and they can't, you know... Yeah, they can't go outside. They can't look another man in the eyes when speaking to them. Whereas in American culture, as women now, we're taught to be very independent, very open about what we want and what we need. Whereas in other cultures, they're not totally different. Like my mom's always told me, never depend on a man for anything. And I guess I took that to be sure, because I don't depend on anybody for anything. I'm a proud person by nature, but in other cultures, when you're not allowed to do certain things, it's because they're making you depend in a way or whatever. Because taking it back to the American culture, say if a woman wanted to get in the force from her husband, she could leave, but she wasn't allowed to take her children with her. Nothing that she came in with, nothing that she got wrong in the marriage or that she came in the marriage with, is allowed to go back in with her if they weren't together in the force. Whereas in American culture, we're expected, if two people split up or two people aren't together, the child automatically goes with the mother. Unless there's some extremely certain safety. So it's a lot in culture that changes what womanhood and manhood actually is defined by. Well, from the front of the view of our household, we're not going to have both mom and dad. It depends on the person, because I mean, honestly, yeah, my mom said, you know, she said basically you can rely on a man with both mom and everything. Like, I mean, you're going to need a man, and this is what a man is going to do with a woman. So it's like, you know, there's discipline in the household. So our definition is based on culture, or is there like a standard that transcends culture? It's just like human, man. I think certain aspects of each are transcended culture, but a lot of it is based on culture like nurturing. We expect that to be in every moment, no matter what culture it is, whatever. Whereas in other things, we don't expect that in everybody, because they're cultural. Why do you think, like growing up, boys are told, you know, don't cry, be a man and talk things like that? Do you guys agree with things like that, or do you think those are outdated ideals? Or do you think it's a reason? I'm kind of afraid of it. No, man, no, man. I'm in. You're in. You're in. You're in. Like, why are you here? Oh, my God. I just feel like I'm not saying a man should get in a crime. I'm a man and I feel like a man. I know I'm crying. I'm in with it. I cry. A man is pretty guppin'. I'm in with it. I'm chattin' kids. But I do agree with the theory of I agree that it was supposed to be like you said the protector, the provider who shouldn't be as emotionally tied up and kind of have that front as the protector or we can't show that weakness of that. Vulnerability. You know, all of us are going to take advantage of whether that's by women who will take advantage of your vulnerability or a man with punky because he knows that you're weaker. So I do agree with the theory of not saying completely no, no, you can't cry. You cry the kind of man. Right. I want to agree with that too, like, like, like, like, like, like for instance, like if it was a very couple and your wife just lost her job and she crying, she don't need you crying too. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? If you were a man and you crying because you lost your job, you'll need your wife crying too. You know what I'm saying? So you know what I'm saying? I agree with him. Like, it's a vulnerability. It's not the fact that you're crying. It's a vulnerability and so-called weakness that is shown with a male cry. That's why I have no problem with a guy crying. I like to see a guy cry. Don't ask me why. I just like it. But it's the vulnerability when people say being a man don't cry. It's the vulnerability that's shown. It's that weakness. Because people will always mistake something about you for a weakness, whether it's because you're too much or because you cried at others at one time. It's going to bother you forever. So that weakness is what people are going to take in. But it's always said, like, if you're going to cry, you're a man. You cry behind closed doors. Well, sometimes you can't make it behind those closed doors. You know what I mean? So it's like it happens if you're human before you're a man. You're a human. I mean, I mean what you say works for me. I have a different perspective of crying. I think crying is not a misunderstanding for me. Even if I would say cry out loud. You know, when you're not crying, right? When something goes wrong, you cry. When you cry, that's the best thing to do at the moment. You don't have to cry. You wipe your tears. There is not a solution. I don't cry and end up with a solution. I'm not crying. You're not talking about it. So when you don't defy or don't defy crying is weakness. It's an expression of your emotions. I don't want to mistake it. I don't think crying is a misunderstanding. But it is the exact opposite. You don't have to cry. No, dude. You start to have to cry all day. No, no. All day long. Until I'm tired of crying and I thought I was going to sleep. I didn't think it was real. But you know what? I can't cry no more. Is there a problem with feminine guys? Yes, yes. We make you talk. We don't know what the problem is. You don't get to cry. I don't want to do anything about it. No, no, no. Take care of yourself. Like, you're too old for a second. I mean, I like to thank you. You need to stop. But I think when you take feminine, people are automatically built to make a strength. And they don't think about, I guess, what's in between. Where I don't know what I'm thinking about. in between where a man would take care of himself and I would consider that to him whereas other people would. So it's a personal how the person's a man of feminine God. So wouldn't she have to be a God? It's a lot of stuff. I feel like there's a beautiful explanation, though. It wouldn't be. You have to handle it. I mean, I agree with her, like if a God keeps himself dressed nice, takes pride in what he does, that's fine. But if I have a God that's going to cry just as much as you, it's not gonna work. I don't need a mom's word. If I wanted one that would, you know, like, nobody wants a God that's gonna sit and cry with him. Like, I don't, I just don't. I feel like there's a double standard between if a man was acting more feminine than if a woman had a man, like a woman who was more masculine, because if a woman acts more manly, then they'll be seen as more independent and strong. But if a man acts more feminine, they're going to stand as a weak man, emotional. So there's a double standard. What's the problem with masculine and female? I mean, some people, like, are masculine. They're more masculine than men. They're more masculine than men. They're more masculine than men. It depends on what you like, your personal preference. No, I'm going to be masculine in the physical sense. I'm going to be masculine as in, like, a man crying, like, emotionally and things like that. I mean, I feel what he's saying, but I'm a strong female, like, I'm really strong. I'm not the girly girl, but I am that female. Like, I am a, like, I just can't have someone who's not up to it. I don't know. I guess that's because, like, my boyfriend is, like, the, uh, and I'm just, like, yeah. I'm just saying, like, I'm a crying person. I rather cry behind closed doors than in public. So I would prefer a guy who, his emotional level is on the same level. So, like, I don't want a guy who's going to always cry in front of his meeting. Because if I'm not crying because of this problem, then he's crying because we can have life. I feel like that with females. I feel like that with females. When masculine with females, like, I feel like a woman, you know, if you can, like, I feel like female independence is good. Like, for instance, if I'm out of town or something, and you guys take out the trash, take it out because I'm not there to do it. But if I'm taking out the trash and I got the bag in my hand, like, don't snatch it out of my hand. Yeah, let's just be that. I'm calling. I'm calling. I'm calling. You can't call me. I'm calling. I'm calling. There was a girl, she said that, um, a woman has to know how to let a man be a man. Yeah. She was like, oh, that's a fun one. What does that mean to let a man be a man? Wait, what? What does it mean to let a man be a man? Because you know, these days, there are a lot of women who're masculine with men. That's a whole different thing. I don't want to know what that means! So, what does that mean, to let a man be a man? What does that mean? Because in fact, every woman wants to be told, You got your hair done, I love that dress on you, I love the pool room, they want it, they might not say they don't want it, they want it, they love it. They might not even say thank you, but they love it. We are also a type of kind of egoist. I feel like, yeah, I open this jar. You know, let me be a provider. Let me see that. I was going to say, like, letting a man be a man to me means allowing the lead to make decisions. Like if he's going to open a car door, don't say I got it. No, no, you got it. I can take out the trash when you're not there, but, you know, I'm able to do it on my own. So I feel like letting a man run the household and you being there, like, his backbone to support him and all those things. I think that's what letting a man be a man is. Anybody disagree with that? I think letting a man be a man and a woman be a woman breaks down and letting just somebody be their self. Because there's not going to be that one of the driving carriers recently for every single person. You're like, oh, she's a woman because of this. She's a man because of that. It goes back to what she says. Before they were a man or a woman, they were a boy or a girl. Before they were even a boy or a girl, they were just human. It just goes all the way back to having the driving. I agree with that. I want to go back to the situation they were talking about. It comes to a point where it can go kind of too far. Like, oh, let me open this jar of pickles. Okay, I feel like, man, now I don't need to open every jar of pickles ever again. You can do it sometimes, too. It comes to the point where a woman has to be like, I can do some things, too. You ain't got to do everything. Do y'all own, do y'all feel like a guy has to pay for me? I mean, me personally, I'm going to all the period cash on me or something on me where I can pay for myself. But yeah, if he gets it, he should. Because if I get down on him just like, hey, let's go out or whatever, or if we just come to an agreement that we're just going to somewhere, then I can expect to pay for myself. If he happens to pay for me, cool. You know, nobody out on that. But if not, I'm not. We'll just leave up for it. I was just going to say, something me and Ella was talking about, two, three weeks ago. We talked about, you know, as a guy, you know you're going to pay for it. You know you're going to pay for it. Like, you know you're going to pay for it. But you just want to test, you might look and see like, the girl, you might look and see like, is she expecting me to pay for it? Like, you kind of want to see like, for instance, if you go out, and you're mine, you already know you're going to pay for it. But if she, she don't even reach for her pocket, like she bought, like, she can reach for her pocket, and then you're declining. Like, nah, you know, I got this. When she doesn't even reach for her pocket, then you know what's up. I declined all that, I declined all that because I feel like if it's like a first date testing, as a man, I wouldn't be really playing no games like that in that area on the first date. I'm automatically by default. It's sitting in my head. I'm paying for everything. Are we paying for it regardless? No, no, no, I'm not even, that's what I'm saying. I'm not making no moves to wait and see, I'm going to take care of everything with no games or no... You know what I'm saying? Do you understand what I'm talking about? Yeah, I get what you're saying. I get what you're saying, but see what she's going to do. To see her reaction is cool. But on the first date, I'm automatically by default. Like, before she even tried to, when the bill comes on the table, ma'am, please just hand it to me. You ain't got to put it on the table. I know some girls who are reaching their pocket and know they don't have nothing in their pocket. It's at all, like, out of life. And if I wait, right, and if I wait, you embarrassed. Right, and if I wait, you embarrassed. And hold on. I don't care anymore. I can't dance, you know. I'm just going to take it real. I'm just going to take it real and tie this. Keep it real. I'm going with a girl. Please respect me. Look nice. Shopping, eating food, all my real. I pay everything. I'm stupid. She's so stupid. I'm stupid. I pay everything. Just accept guys who are with me. I with the other guys, they're with me. They say shit. Don't worry. I'm stupid. I'm stupid. People to go, because any other place is terrible to a friend or a girl who needs a friend to do it for them. Because that's how Africans do. You have it in life, but it's not what it was before. But that's not the one you can't expect. That's everybody. You can't expect that from her. You can't expect that from her. But it goes back to what I think that's the most important thing. A man's back to a man's when your man's down. You still have all of that strength to take everything up. If your man walks into a job, you have to put down a job. You have to carry the household until your man gets back on. I like you. I like you. I can invest, but I can't. I can't. It's the whole thing. The whole TV show. Because on the first stage, for example, I wouldn't want to be on a news front. Because you know, y'all do a little corny on the Facebook. You have no attention. But I feel like I feel like her purchase is my side of the spectrum. Because her reaching for it is kind of subliminally saying that, you know, I can do without you. Exactly. She should expect the best. Not too much. But it's cool to offer to pay from time to time. Just to let me know that you're not just with me, for what I can do for you. And the type of person I am, most of the time I will not let you pay, I won't. But just to, especially if we've been together, just to see that you know what, I'm willing to, you know, plus my ass for YouTube. You know, not when, if maybe I joke for it, for example, and say, you know, pay for this, you get mad. Like the 10,000 meals I paid for, you didn't say, thanks. But one thing, I told you to pay. You want to act up. That's what I'm trying to do. You know what I'm saying? If you want, if that's your vision, you have to, like, do the job for it. So, what's going on right now? I'm financially sick. My mom is right here. She's the first lady to go out, okay? Well, you can't just go out, I don't get what I'm saying. But that's what I'm saying. It's not necessary that you're financially sick. I feel like when you're looking for a woman, you're not just looking for, you know, somebody who's pretty. You're also looking for traits in her that tells you, you know, this person could be my wife, or mother to my children. So, if it's somebody who just wants me to pay my own time, what that tells me is that you're going to be the same way as a mother, if I lose my job, you're just going to be sitting at home and that makes pretty much it. That's what I'm thinking about. So, not necessarily try to imagine what life's like. Show me that you're able to help me as well. Your benefits in my life as well, not just me. So, show that she can be a wife. She's like, you can be a wife. That's out of the story. Give life. So, it's for the real life. How do you outbiddle when the woman actually assumes you're your role? Like paying for the middle, you know what I'm saying? She's not chickened out. She's not chickened out. She's basically you taking her off and sharing it on your behalf so that you're not doing your job. I'm asking you this, I'm asking you this. Oh, she's doing her job. Because I don't want to do it. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know, we should pay for the meals. We should like hold the door open and stuff like that. So we like, how do you feel that you're doing this? That's weird. It depends. But hold on. Don't let her know that me is weird. I appreciate you guys. If she does it all the time, it's weird. But if she does it once, for example, you know, I find it cute. I find it like, okay, she's not just pushing because I'm a man. It's, you know, she genuinely wants to be with me. If the world would reverse, I was the woman. She was a man. She'd take care of me just the same. But as far as doing it all the time, that's a matching number. That's like, wow. What's that double bar? Yeah. So like on Instagram, it's for the ladies and she had a question for the meals. If you were on the first date and the boy was supposed to pay and his one car did not work, would you pay? For both of y'all, would you have to pay for your meal and the detergent? Yes! I'll pay for the meals. She doesn't know him! Yeah. I mean, y'all don't think this is funny, but we don't have to reassess the situation. If your car is to climb, I'm gonna sit there and just think for a second, okay? Oh, you know what? First off, we're gonna do that in another car. Okay. Well, you wanna go to this shit. Oh, yeah. You know what? You can have another car. You can have another car. But, I mean... But this is the only car. You should have chosen me. His only car. His only car. Well, he ain't had no money. I mean... It's okay. You can have it at the notes. I can give you a... I can give you a... I can give you a... I can give you a... I can give you a... I can give you a... I can give you a... I can give you something more. Maybe he was expecting more than what he had. You know? So, I'll give you the benefit of that first time. Cool. I'll pay for it. Because I'm not gonna sit there and let you... Like, because you... Because the man I'm talking to already is somebody like... But y'all don't know who he is. And he's not getting the car. He already knows the type of person. So, I'm not gonna furthering that to late now. So, I'm gonna go on that second date with you. But if that second date and the same thing happen, and I see in the pattern, there's a problem. If you're about to second date, you're talking about your car still getting the car. Let's talk to them. Oh, so... Back to what he was saying earlier about, like, opening all the jars or pickles or whatever they are. I feel a little... When a man does everything... They're just trying not to let you do anything else? Yes. It's actually, if you're used to being independent, like, a man trying to... If you're used to questioning a woman, but if a man can do everything for you. Because that's not okay. If you're used to questioning a woman, what's the problem? That's the problem. That's the problem. Especially if a man can do everything for you. Like, you need to question your womanhood, because once he walks away from you, what's she gonna do? Amen. What's she gonna hide you? How you gonna figure out how you can do something? He has everything. Exactly. I feel like a woman's job will come in when you have that role for a man's life. It's serious, like, if you know you got a good one, why not cook for him? Why not have his little brother cook for him? You don't have to indicate it to your man. What is the thing, what Instagram thought you were gonna do it? What Snapchat host gonna do it? Because I know somebody's gonna suck your man up. I know somebody's gonna suck your man up. He's just like, cook for him. And a video is a lot of what she's saying. I'm speaking from a guys perspective, not from a girls perspective. But, like, I feel like, because I know this transition in myself, I can't say, I can't say I'm all the way the most manliest of all men yet. I can't say that because it's a process. It's a process. We still college students. What I'm saying is this, like, I know this transition in myself. Like, a boy, a boy will appreciate you just for your looks. And that's it. Like, that's as far as it goes. But a man will appreciate your qualities. You feel me? Like, that's something I noticed in myself. Like, back in the day, like, I used to be all like, man, look, she got fat as she gets. And I would still do that up to this day. But now it's about qualities. It's more about what you bring to my life. Can I learn something from you? If I can't learn from you, then why? You know what I'm saying? So I feel like that, I feel like that's a big difference as well. I think when she said, hey, don't be your man, I feel like it's a two-way street. It's 50-50 think it is. Like, I'm not gonna be sitting here when I'm with you. Oh, okay. That's what I'm talking about. I'm not gonna be your man. That's the one thing. I didn't work the whole time. Okay. I feel like, I feel like as a man, like, how you said it was like, it's a 50-50 thing when she was talking about catering. Okay, like as a man, I think that 50 that we bring is default. Like, as a man. Because we're supposed to. You know what I'm saying? We're not, I guess, trying. If you're in a relationship, you're not really trying to become a man in that process. You should by then be closer to a man stays in a boy if you're getting into a relationship. So when you're bringing that 50% that you do bring, when you say it's a half-a-half, the girl's gonna cater to me or cater to me and treat me right like that. Like, I'm gonna automatically be a man. I should desert that in a way. A little bit. Because I'm gonna be a man regardless. I'm not gonna be less than what I'm gonna give you. So I think I deserve a little catering. I don't like, I don't like the term cater. I don't like the term cater. Okay. I think a better way to say it is that, is that a woman should make a man's life easier. She'll bring peace. That's dope. She'll bring peace to a man's life. And cooking, you know, as overlooked as that is, is a way to do that. Because I mean, we can both cook. Chance is on, you cook a lot better than me. I kind of understand where you're coming from when you say you should make a guy's life easier because in a way, like it's already hard for you guys, you're already out there in the real world, you're a black man and you're trying to work and you're trying to do your thing. So it shouldn't just be the female like going on and on about her day, but to ask her man about how your day was, or how is your job treating you, or what is it that I can do, like make sure your kids are in bed at a decent hour, make sure your meal is cooked live. I'm not saying work to see or make sure that you don't have to go to the job to come. Would you expect that from a woman who works the same amount of hours as a guy? Because if we're both working, if we both have a busy schedule, if we both have a working schedule, you're going to hire a cameo. But Tom, you were saying that it was making it seem like if the woman was a stay-at-home wife, a stay-at-home mom, but that's not for everyone. But even if you have a busy schedule, I feel like as a female, you learn this as a kid, or at least I have, you keep that household up. I don't care what you got going on in the other room. I'm not going to sit here and be like, I'm going to do the 24-7, because I have aspirations of being a stay-at-home in my own law firm. So I'm not going to sit here and say, you know what I'm saying? I'm going to sit here and be like, I'm going to come visit you. That's not what I can say. I'm going to make sure that you are in bed. I'm going to tell you that you will have lunch packed for you in the morning. That's what I'm saying. What's your merit? To take some of the pressure, to take some of the pressure of women, let's take some of the pressure of women. I think now some guys are different, but I think most guys are more concerned with the question not can you cook or will you cook. You get what I'm saying? They're more concerned with the question not can you cook or will you cook. You get what I'm saying? Because we are, nobody, you know, so I feel like that's a great deal. At least for me, it's willing. If you can buy it, I have to be some human figure. Because I invited everybody to do the shit. No. Somebody got this on. No, no, no, no. As a female, when you start talking to a guy, when you start dating a guy, does he have to ask you to do the shit? Because most oftentimes it's the guy that always took care of you. Because it's always helpful to me. So it's good for boys? Speak loudly. I can't accept it. It's always good if a man can cook. I think our point is, I think our point is, if you're driving down a road with your man and the car breaks down and he sits next to your car. But if the car breaks down, he sits his ass next to the car. How would you feel the wife and the car? If you sit your ass on the couch, it's a problem. We go. I got a question. I got a question. Alright, go ahead. You go. So, do you feel any different if the man, when y'all do make that stop, do he get out of the car and change the tire or try to call someone? No. Try to sit here in the situation. Yeah, try to change the tire. He did have a man to handle the situation. He told me, like, I had a homegirl, I went to her house and her man felt the need to just sit on the couch while she washed the dishes. Didn't want to help her drive, anything like that. And I looked at her and I was like, oh, so you're not going to get out? And you might not. She got it. That's a problem for me. Because when you're always in the household and you're always cooking and cleaning and your man don't want to help you. And that's the point of trying to get to him. He should be willing to help at some point. I'm not saying you have to do everything, but I'm saying as long as you show me that you're really trying to help me, then it's fine. I have a problem with all this. Because that's what I hope to get. I think in a partnership, you know, marriage with a friend of her, it's been beautiful. I feel like, you know, we are men and women, but we're both leaders in our own right. And what I mean by that is that it's certain aspects of life that I feel like she's going to believe. Just like the certain aspects that I should step up and be, like, provide. I should be the leader. We could both provide. You understand? But it's different between the quarterback and the receiver. It's the same thing with food. I can cook too, but I shouldn't be the leader of the household when it comes to the kitchen. You know what I'm saying? Just like you shouldn't be the leader of the household when it comes to fixing the car. Or making sure our bank statements are more balanced. So, okay, I have a question. Do guys, like, I mean, I would expect to have to pay half my bills once I'm there to pay some of my bills. Do guys expect for a female to pay any of the bills? I don't expect much. No, I don't. What do you mean? You don't want to pay any of the bills. You don't want to pay any of the bills. You don't want to pay any of the bills. Okay. You don't want to pay any of the bills. I have a question. My mother was married and took care of the kids. So I was like, coming to kindergarten, and my father did all of that, so my mother don't have kids right there. Okay, she was working, but she wasn't working all day. So what he did, when she got her back, I mean, that could help him, but when I get married, I'm going to be that woman that my husband pays his bills. I'm going to let him do him. It depends how you was raised. If you were raised in the city looking at home, your mother did this for you today, you was raised to do that. So it depends on how you was raised. Yeah, because I feel like when you're married, it's not a mind-bill to your bills, it's our bills. It's our bills. You're right. That's what we're talking about. That's what we're talking about. That's what we're talking about. That's what we're talking about. Even if I'm not paying like the mortgage or the big bills, I feel like I can give you a tribute to stuff like that. My parents have been married for 30 years. What's he and who's here saying? It's African men. We want our wife to work because she loves to, not because she has to. My parents have been married for 30 years. My mom works, my dad works. They have a joint account. They both have separate accounts as well. But they have a joint account. It's not like, baby, you pay the mortgage and I'll take care of the cable or the light. We live in this household. We have kids. We have to sustain our family. So, yes, she is more of the homemaker even though she works 40 hours a week because she wants to. He still provides, he still does everything concerning the cars, the lines, all of that. But when it comes to financial, he balances the checkbook. He does all that. I even asked her this year, like, Mom, did y'all fly to Texas? I don't know. I don't do that. I have to do that. Your dad does that. So, it's not like it's yours and mine. It's yours as one. But I feel like if you're dating, that is all irrelevant. Yeah. I mean, if you're dating, well, if you're dating, you don't have to have a joint account. Yeah. I know. Oh, I pay. You are doing that? No, not necessarily paying bills, but just to wait. Is this marriage practice? I feel like this is marriage practice. You're not supposed to learn that shit. You're not supposed to date against irrelevant. I'm not supposed to pay bills. Yeah. I mean, from my lifestyle, like, my mother and my father, they put together, like, the more of you, just like, a thousand dollars a month, he's going to put his 500, she's going to put her 500. Because in my situation, my dad died, so my mom had to carry on those responsibilities by herself. If she was depended all on my dad, like, he had to pay everything what she did. She was the mother, like, she did everything when he died, she had to solely provide for the family. So if she would have had, you know, a job, she would have been able to do what she could do without him there. So I think she should be able to provide for her home, just as much as she should. It should be, but she don't have that mill, that mill, but wants to know her pay. Yeah, exactly. She has to know how to sustain herself. Right. You know, like, you have to know how to sustain yourself just to make sense of your family. That's what we should do. Yeah, listen. It doesn't mean you should be abusing her privilege. I think in my experience, you should be able to come out to the lazy and not be impatient. I'm willing because I feel like it's my responsibility, you know, just in case, in the future, I might not be here. So if you're not abusing her privilege, it doesn't come out quickly for you. And watching the dish, it doesn't mean on a very tough day that she's not there, but she's so that I can't do those stuff. You should be able to do it, you know, where she's not there, but you are doing it every day. Like, don't abusing her privilege. So when I say a man has to pay the bill, it doesn't mean you just relax, sit down, order pizza, eat, watch cable, what do you do? Get back, lose weight. You should be ambitious. Instead of, you know, the money you want to bring to pay the bill, sell it. Surprised me, you know what I'm saying? Surprised me with something big, I don't understand what it's going on. It doesn't mean I don't want you to pay the money because I don't see why. I mean, I agree. I'm just saying so individuals should come together and make one. It shouldn't just be one, and then she just takes it wrong. I think personally, I think if a woman is paying as much as I am as far as bills, it's unbalanced. Because to me, kind of like Jacolles said, you can't quantify motherhood. If you're a mother to my kids, that's a job of nothing. You understand me? So to make you pay bills as well, people look at it. That's not what I'm saying. That was just my logic though. You don't have to pay half, but she should be contributing to something. She should be contributing to something. She should be contributing to something. She should be contributing to something. She should be contributing to that. She should be contributing to that. Motherhood is so complicated. I think it needs people's self-cleaners. It needs people's self-determination. It needs money, and has a good time. Oh, it needs money. I got to make $1. I'm out of money. She got $1. Yeah, you look at it. I have five brothers, and one of my brothers is a lawyer. And his total number. Is $2. I'm not saying that I'll ruin what brother he needs. He has my niece and my nephew. His whole thing is their mom walked out on my niece and my nephew. And my brother, although he leaves my niece and my nephew with one of my other brothers during the day for when he comes home late at night, he's still able to get up in the morning and do my niece's hair. He's still able to make sure that my nephew is provided for. So I feel like with the whole role of, like she said, can a woman do it when a man is not there? And can a man do it when a woman's not there? Look at my dad and I was like, um, so what would you do if mom was here because my mom always does two keys here, like my little sister's parents here. And my dad was like, oh, I'll just drop her off at your aunt's. I'll see what you're not going to be able to do for you. Because if mom's not here, what are you going to do? Or if all the women left this world, would you be able to take care of these girls, is my thing? Or your little boy, without a woman being there? That's what I was saying earlier about, who can do what is not. And who can do what is not. But what about that? He said in my hand, something's all about that. But what about that? She does it. She does it. She does it. She does it. I don't know. Exactly. She does what they do. I've left her, but then I do you better. I'm going to go with her.