 Well hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Jonathan Asley of JonathanAsley.com and I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today. Our topic, why can't men love like women? Real quickly before I get started, if you're interested in some of my content, check out the links below. My book, my free gift, even if you'd like to talk to me on the phone, check out the links below. Okay and don't forget to comment if this video is something you like to share some of your thoughts on. Okay so our topic, why can't men love like women? So and we want to explore this from two facets or a couple different facets. So just let me ramble here for a moment, give me a chance. Okay so one of the differences between men and women that I've noticed and again this is just my perspective on this is women are more fascinated with the why. Why do men do this? Why do men do that? And women tend to be more relationally oriented. In other words they're the ones buying the books out there centered around relationships and they're probably buying these books by a ratio of four to one compared to men and it could be more like ten to one. I mean I'm just speculating here but you know women buy books like the 101 lies men tell. Women buy books like the real reasons why men commit. Women buy books like eat, pray, love. Okay so and women tend to be more romanticized about the idea of love whereas men are more focused on how to meet women. One of their greatest challenges is centered around meeting women and one of my friends Tripp Kramer wrote a book called Magnetic and it says cultivate confidence become rejection proof and naturally attract the women you desire. Men are more interested in how to meet women and how to have the confidence of women. Now this isn't true for all men but this is just a sub-segment of men. So women are more fascinated and more inclined to understand the mechanics of how a successful relationship works and men are just simply how do I meet women and this is one of the reasons why I share with a lot of my clients is that when you your desire is to have men lead the relationship process you're giving the job to the wrong person because they don't study how to be in a successful loving relationship they just want to know how to meet you. Now men are predominantly driven to be provider protectors it's a very transactional way to be in relationship if I provide and protect you'll give me sex and nurturing that's kind of the transactional trade-off but we now live in a space where we can actually go deeper and so I want to actually shift the conversation I've given you kind of the differences between men and women and the way they approach it but I want to look at this from a place of self love self love in fact here let me just share with you my t-shirt the self love club because self love says I don't need another person in my life for me to be happy in other words my happiness isn't centered around being with another person and often times and this isn't always the case especially from women they tend to be a little bit more codependent from the perspective as I need a man for me to feel good about myself and that's kind of one of the differences between men and women because men don't necessarily operate from that emotional space they might from a physical space they want companionship they want attention they want sex so men are more tactile in the way they love and women are a lot more emotional but the reason why shift the conversation to self love is because particularly for you ladies because that's who my coach and coaching you know my coaching practice is helping women discern who is the right guy for them in fact let me just shift for a quick second because in my coaching I oftentimes see women spending all their energy in the wrong place when it comes to understanding men and I'm about shifting it to being more discerning how can you vet for the right guy and one of the best things you can do for yourself to vet for the right guy is become the right person within yourself by loving on yourself in fact where's my book I wrote a book called what the heck is self-love anyway there's a picture of me with my book which is a journey of personal development self-help and spiritual work so when you become sovereign within yourself you actually become a magnetic attractor for a man in your life and I want to say men need to focus on self-love as well men tend to be more focused in self-love in the area of how do I build my career how do I make money how do I build confidence but not from a perspective of relationship but more in the perspective of being that provider protector at least that's where it begins now men that have gone to a deeper level actually start buying the books related to being in a healthy happy relationship books like getting the love you want by Harvelle Hendricks books like attached by Amir Levine when a man begins to do a self-exploration journey within himself with respects to relationship then he'll start purchasing these books but he has to go through this evolution he has to go through this tunnel if you will my friend Allison Armstrong talks about the tunnel men go through and so men go through a different tunnel than women but ultimately the goal within the tunnel is self-love is self-love in other words loving on yourself feeling so happy that I don't need a relationship in my life to be happy but being partnered with someone actually brings me much joy and much happiness this is a conversation we can go into so many different directions I'm giving you just some baseline things to think about here to shift your consciousness to shift your perspective but just understand that men tend to be a little more transactional from the physical perspective of love and women tend to be more emotional so here's my invitation invest in your own self-love so you can feel that sovereignty within yourself in other words you don't need a man to feel good about yourself and then recognize that you are the leader when it comes to the emotional aspect of the relationship you can introduce these types of books to a man to build a healthy happy relationship in fact I highly recommend introducing if you're beginning a relationship with a man read the book eight dates read it together this is a fantastic book if that man wants his penis in your vagina and wants it on a regular basis then build a relationship based on the foundation of what John Gottman talks about in the book eight dates that's just my suggestion for you take it for whatever this is the world according to Jonathan but I'd like to think there's some value in what I share okay I'd like to hear your thoughts if this resonates with you post a comment below if you have something to say I want to hear about it post a comment below like this video subscribe to my channel if you haven't already and if you'd like to get a personal touch like to have a little personal touch click the link below about scheduling a call with me to see if coaching would work for you okay I'm gonna sign off this video as I always do giving you a big gigantic Jonathan bear hug if I have your consent thank you mmm wishing you a wonderful day thanks so much bye bye now