 Lux presents Hollywood. The Lux Radio Theatre brings you Rosalind Russell, Brian Ahearn and Janet Blair in My Sister Eileen with Akeem Tamira. Ladies and gentlemen, your producer, Mr. Cecil B. DeMille. Greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. Deep in the heart of New York City is a strange foreign country called Greenwich Village. The inhabitants are painters and longshoremen, sculptors, schoolteachers and stockbrokers. It's a place where the normal seems eccentric and any dark knight or shadowy character may tap you on the shoulder and try to sell you a poem or a painting. The strange adventures of two girls from the Middle West who settled down in this never-never land kept Broadway audiences laughing for about two years. The play was called My Sister Eileen. Columbia Studio made the picture and it's still making Eileen famous in theaters throughout the world. Rosalind Russell, Brian Ahearn and Janet Blair all gave delightful performances on the screen. And the three of them lend the authentic touch to our production tonight with Akeem Tamira heading our supporting cast. Until the opening performance of any play, no one can predict a hit in the theater. That's because art is unfortunately not so predictable as science. But things happen rather differently with a product like Flux Flakes. That's designed with precision beforehand to do the things that are sure to make a hit. I wish the same scientist could work out a way to tell me how the public will receive a picture. Maybe it can't be done in show business but they've certainly taken the guesswork out of housework. You're not guessing when you use Flux Flakes. Now tonight's gay comedy, My Sister Eileen, starring Rosalind Russell as Ruth, Brian Ahearn as Bob Baker and Janet Blair as Eileen, with Akeem Tamira as Mr. Apopolos. Our scene, a street in New York City's Greenwich Village. The time July, the temperature, 93 degrees. Through the waves of heat rising from the sidewalk come two charming but bedraggled young ladies. These are the sisters Sherwood, Ruth and Eileen Sherwood, who hail from Columbus, Ohio, and which they'd never left there. Their first day in New York has been spent in room hunting. The hunting has been horrible. Right now their feet are killing them. Oh Ruth, I can't walk another step on it. Well, this apartment's the last one on the list. You might as well look at it. Ruth, why don't we stop at a hotel tonight and get a nice fresh start in the morning? Eileen, maybe I should have told you earlier. You know this hundred dollars? It's the last money we ever take from dad. The last? The last. Oh, but suppose we don't get job? Then we stop. We beg. We borrow or steal, darling. Is that a promise? Yes. All right. Good evening. Good evening, my dear young ladies. Am I wrong in presuming that you are looking for a haven in this troubled world? No, we're just looking for a room. Chief, no more. You have reached your goal. We have? Absolutely. Right this way, dear young ladies. How high up is it? It is not up. It is down. You mean in the cellar? Follow me, dear young ladies. Follow me. I will show you the best value for your money in Greenwich Bend. Yes, but in the cellar, I don't think you want to... The cellar? What do you mean, the cellar? The basement. Now, here we are. Right over here. Look, I don't think we're interested in anything. Now, now prepare yourself. Isn't it beautiful? Now, tell me, isn't it just what you always dreamed about? If I did, I'd never go to sleep. Now, please. Not the exquisite imitation fireplace. And this big comfortable day bed. Now, try the bed. No, no, no. Just try it. Yeah, I see. Come on, Eileen. Now, look, look. Just look at that interesting and exciting stormer window. I like to look out of the window, not up at it. Ah, don't be afraid of it. Now, life passes up and down in front of you like a regular parade. Now, what more could a young person with a typewriter want? Am I wrong in presuming that you are an offer? She's going to be. Well, I knew it. Of course, I could tell if she... Have you got anything higher up? Higher up? Higher up, my dear young lady. Why don't you let me show you the place before you raise a lot of objections? Yes, Ruth. Let Mr. Apop... Apopolo. Apopolo. Yes. Let him show us the place. Now, you have a hair on your shoulders, young lady. Now, let me point out a few features of this, uh, this beautiful switch. A, it is a summer. B, it is at least 30 degrees cooler down here than anywhere higher up. And B, it is only $45 a month. $45? Well, thank you very much, Mr. Apopolo. We'll let you know. Come on, Eileen. Oh, Ruth, couldn't we stay here for a few days and then if we like it, we can... Sure. And I'll do better than that. You can have the place for a month on trial at absolutely no cost to you. Then if you are not 100% satisfied, I will give you back your first month rent. The whole month? The whole month. Oh. And July is 31 days. Well, I... It's yours. It's yours. Now I'm going to show you where everything is. Now, in here. In here, ladies, we had a model kitkinette. Completely everything failed. Where's the eye spot? Uh, under the top. Where else? Well, usually they do put them down. And here? Here we have an luxurious bathroom, not the basin with hot and cold taps. It's awfully small. Small? Well, in this room, you want entertainment. And you, young lady, are you artistic and fussy like your sister? Well, I'm going to try to get a job on the stage. Oh, I'm lucky. Well, yes, you certainly have the space and the bills for it. Oh, thank you. I'll tell you what I'll do. If you take this luxurious room, I will leave that painting, you see? Exactly where it is. Oh, it's charming. Who did it? Yeah. And what is it? I did it. Oh, sure. You know, painting is one of my interests. Yeah. I also write. Ethic poetry and ethic drama. Well, ladies, what do you say? The painting stays. Oh, let's take the place, Ruth. I can't see what we can lose. Mr. Poppins said he would give us our money back. But I don't know. Legally, you have me where you want me. I gave my word in front of two witnesses. Three, including me. Yes. Oh, please, Ruth. Oh, well, all right. Here's the rent. Mm-hmm. 20, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44. 45. Ah! Oh! Oh! What was that? What was what? That noise. Oh, this. Oh! You see, that just shows you how you'll get used to it. I didn't even notice it. Get used to it? You mean it happens all the time? Sure, but you won't even be conscious of it. Oh, little blasting. The new subway. Oh! You mean they're blasting right underneath it? What are you worrying about? Doesn't she mean to know how much dynamite they use? But does it go on all the time? No, no, no. Of course not. You see, they knock off at midnight. And they don't start again until six in the morning. Oh, Ruth, we can't stay here. You give us our money back. What are you getting so hysterical about? I said I would give you your money back, and I will. I will at the end of the month if you are not satisfied. Now, good night. Good night. Let me sleep tight. Oh, Ruth. What are we going to do? We're going to do 30 days. What's that do you want? Oh, it doesn't matter. I'm so tired I can sleep on the floor. We often have this phone connected in the morning, so we can start calling up the job. You don't call up for job. Dear, you go out and look for them. Oh, Ruth. I wonder what the boys back home will think when I'm an actress in New York. Well, there's one advantage in not leaving any men behind. I don't have to worry what they think. Oh, I know, dear. It's different with you. Boys never meant anything in your life. Not after they got a load of you. They didn't. Well, good night, dear. Good night. Hey, didn't I just put off the lights? I think so. Then what makes it so bright in here? Oh, there's a lamp post right in front of the window. Oh, fine. Well, pull the shade down, Ruth. There isn't any shade. No shade? Oh, well, we're practically sleeping out in the street. Just where do I get that apopolis? Nice comfortable bed. It's like sleeping in an iron lung. Would it help any to close the window, Ruth? Close the window will suffocate. Oh, Garsh, I'm afraid. You know a doctor takes a cat through there. Yeah, and probably will. Oh, well. Let's get some sleep, maybe we can forget. I'm not going back there. Oh, my God. Who's back, huh? Why not? They're both strangers. Look, another color. Oh, no, no, no. There's two men out there. I don't know. I don't know. Oh, I love them. Why do they have to take off this spot? You get away from there. You drunken loafer. Hey, what's that? You get away from me. You get away from there. We'll call a police. Another day. It's these two days. Won't see you, but that one's mine. Okay. Mine's not so bad. You get away from there. Hello, G-Fy. Get away. Get away from there. I'm pretty good. I'm ready for life. Oh! Oh, we're close to window. Close to window. I should say not. Don't you do it, Lucy. I'd rather see her closer. Oh, Lucy. Please. Come on, cutie. Come to papa. You get away from there, dear. Come on. Come on. Break it up. Break it up. Oh, good evening, officer. Break it up, my friend. This is just making it so sick. Oh, that's good. We were just going. Good night. Come on. Beat it. I'm also glad to see him. Yeah. Say, you're new in this neighborhood. Ain't good. Yeah. We just moved in today. Well, if you're smart, you'll move out tomorrow. I like things nice and quiet on my feet. I go on in here. Yeah, but, uh, remember? Remember what I told you? That's all. I mean, do you know what he said? He said, yes, I do. Oh, you? I'm afraid. Oh, my honey girl. You'll be all right, darling. You'll feel better in the morning, dear. Just get some sleep and everything will look fine. Good night, dear. Good morning. Man had a magazine? You were sweet. I'd like to see some of the editors. Sorry, no appointment at office. Just leave your manuscript, please, or mail it in. I've been mailin' them in all my life. Here. Thank you. I want speculation, Mr. Baker. Well, let me alone and I'll get it for you. How? Let me run the man. Had a free month. With my policy without your interference. Lord talking to the owner of the man, Hatter Baker. And the biggest bottleneck in the whole organization. Now, wait. Let me take the policy. Just a little. Now, look, let me just run one human incident a week. Just one. And you know exactly what people want? Well, what you want isn't selling. So let's go bank up your way, is that it? Oh, well, all right. Let's go bank up your way. It's much quicker. That's all for today, dear. No, no, no. Wait a minute, wait a minute. I'm gonna please somebody. Hey, hey, you out there. Anybody? Here, come in here. Me? You do. Can you read? Oh, yes. And I write, too. I just left one of my stories there. Oh, don't mind about that writing. Everybody writes in New York, even people who can't read. Well, I happen to be from Columbus. Oh, very interesting. Come on, come on in. Mr. Craven? Mr. Craven? Meet Miss... What's your name? Sherwood. Mr. Sherwood. Meet Miss Sherwood. She can read from Columbus, Ohio. Meet Mr. Craven. The owner of all the Craven publications. Oh, how do you do? What does he do? Like a soldier. She can read. Now, Miss Sherwood, in your time you have read The Manhattan. Isn't that true? Yes. When was the last time? Oh, years ago. Years ago? Well, why did you stop reading? Well, it's just an interest me. Oh, that's an interest. Can't you explain why? Or don't you have any opinions? Opinions? From Columbus, Ohio? Yes, we think in Columbus, Ohio, too, you know. It's a matter of fact, we think your magazine is about 15 years behind the time. Oh, you do? Oh, you do? Go on. Yes, we do. Even if it's a go for all that, T.T. and Shaky Talk, they didn't know any better. They'd like to come a lot more real now. Oh, has it? Yes, yes it has. We have radio now and movies in the right and middle of a war. The Manhattan. That's just a bore. Not only in Columbus, Ohio, but in 90% of the nation. Thank you, Miss Sherwood. Wait a minute. How do you do find this girl, Bob? Outside? What was he doing there? I was trying to submit a manuscript. Oh, it's one of my magazines. The Manhattan. That's all I want to know. It's the paper, y'all. Jimmy Pig, friends of Manhattan, but she's like a material publisher. Now, just one minute. I'd like to know the truth. I came to the Manhattan in desperation. It was the last magazine I could think of. Well, what do you know? And now that I've met the brains of the organization, I'm sorry I told you all. Hey, Miss Sherwood. Wait. Yeah, wait. I met an editor and the owner of a whole magazine thing. Why, Bruce, you're in. Yeah, they got me in to throw me out. What about you? Oh, I had the most exciting day, Bruce. I was in the outer waiting room of Wallace Productions. How are you getting someplace? Mm-hmm. And I met this man, Mr. Claw, the new paper man on the globe. And what do you think? What? He interviewed me. Oh, there you are. But did you get in to see Mr. Wallace here? Oh, oh, well, no, but don't you see, if I wait until the integration's out, Mr. Wallace will come to see me. And so will all the others to be here. Oh, that was Mr. Clark's advice, I gather. Oh, and I told him all about you and he seemed very interested in you. So interested in me, he can't wait to get you alone, huh? Oh, don't be silly. He's going to speak to you to be accurate about you. Well, from here on, it's clear sailing, then. Hurry up for dinner. Oh, forget it and leave. Oh, haven't we polished that off that we've been eating for a week? Oh, Bruce, we ought to have something for dinner. Oh, no, let's get to dinner, please. Oh, but we can't do it. There's a man coming for dinner. Oh, what man? Frank Lippincott. Oh, no, who is Frank Lippincott? Oh, didn't I tell you about that boy who manages the National Dutch Store on 44th Street? Nope. Oh, Frank is very nice, boy. He didn't let me pay my lunch check, hmm? Arlene, why don't you wander into the Ritz some day? I'm a rendering worker. I'm an architect in the hands of an engineer. Listen. Hello. Anybody home? Go see who it is, Arlene. Hello. Just a minute. Yes, what do I... Arlene, what's the matter? Oh, it's a man. What's a man with pants? Well, dear. Well, I mean short pants. Short. No legs in them. Oh, hello. Hello, girls. Hey, say, here, you can't come in here like that. Oh, don't mind me. This is my practice, got you. Yeah? Well, what are you practicing? Football. Gotta keep training, you know. So, you're the new girls, eh? Well, my name's Loomis. My wife and I live upstairs. Hmm. How do you do, Mr. Loomis? Oh, leave out the message. Just call me Rex. Rex? Yeah, that's what they call me at Georgia Tech. And amid all Americans, only I was expelled. Say, uh, my wife and I got something we want to talk over to you here. Uh, look, Mr. Loomis, we happen to be very... I'll get it. Yes? Hi. Is Effie here? Effie? Why, no. It's okay. I'll wait. Oh, but there's no Effie here. You said that. I said I'll wait. What's your name, Tuts? Arlene. War, isn't it? Yeah, but no cool off. How was that, you? Say, I'll handle it. Oh, God. There was the idea of crashing in on these girls. No, I don't get yourself excited. I didn't know you was the landlady. It's just a mistake. No, you're better than a mistake. I'll get moving. Very well. Good afternoon. You're the hairiest landlady I ever saw. Oh, thank you, Mr. Loomis. Oh, that's all right. You know, he was looking for a girl named Effie. Is there an Effie in this place? Well, he used to be. She lived in this studio. She was, uh, almost some kind of a medium. Used to get psychic readings of some kind. I hope you didn't leave any tambourines floating around. Come in. Oh, sure. Honey, come in, everybody. Hello. Oh, give me a honey. Girls, this is Helen, my wife. How do you do? How do you do? Well, have you asked the girls about it yet, dear? Oh, well, uh, no, not yet, baby. Well, there isn't much time, and we've got to get it settled. Yeah. Yeah, well, well, girls, it's like this. You know, Helen's mother is going to visit her, which kind of strayed out of me right out into the alley. Hadn't you got enough room? Well, we could make room only, you see. Well, Helen's mother doesn't know that we're married. And I'm afraid to tell her because the wreck isn't working now. Oh, but I start to work just as soon as the professional football season opens. So we thought that in the meantime, you two girls wouldn't mind putting me up in the kitchen. What? I mean, sleeping in our kitchen? Oh, he won't be in your way, really. But what about a hotel? Oh, we haven't got a sense. Not a sense. Well, maybe we could do it for one night. Hey, wait a minute. We're crowded enough as it is. Oh, thank you, girl. Oh, gee, that's well. I'll get a blanket and a pillow right here. I know, but, uh, you see... Thank you, dear. Uh... Eileen, something tells me you weren't quite ready to leave Columbus. But, Ruth, now, what can we say? We could have said no, couldn't we? Oh, that must be frank. Let him in. Will you, Ruth? I've got to change my dress. What's that guy's last name again? Dippin' Tots. Dippin' Tots. And remember, Ruth, he's a very nice boy, so please be careful. Well, who am I? Tugboat Annie? Come in. Hi. Good evening. You must be Mr. Little Tots. Yeah. I guess you're Eileen's sister. That's right. I can see your family resemblance, all right. Oh, well, well, now, I... I'm very flattered. First, uh, you're sort of a different type. Yeah. I see what you mean. Uh, won't you sit down, Mr. Lippin' Tots? Dear sister's just freshening up a bit. She'll be out in a minute. Oh, who? Oh, yes, sister. For a visit, dear. I'll be out in a minute. You see, I wasn't lying. Annie's been telling me about your drugstore. Oh, happy? I understand you have awfully good food. Oh, it's best. And it's very reasonable. Reasonable isn't the word, as I understand it. What? Huh? Uh, you said reasonable. I mean, I said reasonable. Yeah. Especially if you ought to start all over again. Oh, Frank. Oh, I'm so sorry to keep you waiting. Oh, that's all right, dear. Listen, I had my little dog. Oh. Yeah. I guess you would have been proud of me, dear. I didn't make one slip. Did I, Mr. Lippin' Tots? What? Oh, may I take your cat, Frank? Oh, thanks. Oh, this is for you. Oh, Frank, you shouldn't have done that. It's from California Red Wine. I thought it would go good with spaghetti. Mm-hmm. It's a special we're running this week. So's our spaghetti. Well, Frank, I guess you're just about family. Dinner's almost ready. Hey, this is great. You know, I've always wanted to live in a studio like this. Well, I'd better set the table. Oh, do you mind if I help you? Why, Frank? Oh, nice. The dishes are in here. Hey, this is great. Well, what do you want? I'm looking for a party named Sherwood. Eleanor Sherwood. You mean Eileen? Yeah, yeah. Come to think of it, Eileen. And who, shall I say, is Pauline? Uh, Clark. Six Clarks, her name. Oh, the newspaper man. Yeah, who are you? Oh, I'm her sister. Sister? She's a blonde. Good-looking kid, ain't she? Yes, she's a blonde. Good-looking kid, ain't she? Oh, uh, Mr. Lippin' Tots. Uh? This is Mr. Clark. Oh, how you do? How are you? Mr. Lippin' Tots with the National Drug Store. Yeah, I buy all my clothes there. Oh, you're quite a card, aren't you, Mr. Clark? This wine looks heavenly, Frank. Why, hello, Mr. Clark. Hi, Eleanor Sherwood. I got great news for you, honey. We run the interview this week. Why, shit. I mean, Mr. Clark, why, that's just wonderful. Ha-ha, I sure am gorgeous. You know, I've been turning you over in my mind all afternoon. Hey, what's in the bottle? Oh, it's a very fine California burgundy type wine. It's a special. Well, let's all have a drink, shall we? Do we need any ice? Oh, no, no, no. Just wine, to be fair, is the temperature of the room. Well, then you better cook it for a couple of hours. Well, here's to us and to burgundy California. Oh, look at that. It's all right. It's all right. It's just the subway. Mr. Sherwood, I'm afraid I... Oh, Frank, the wine. It's all over your pretty white shoes. Oh, what a shame. My pants are wet. Oh, Frank. I'm not going to get stuck. I don't move, Frank. Get up there. Put your hands on me, you big dog. What's that? Hey, something's the matter out there. Let me go. I'm back here. Officer, officer, where's the trouble? Oh, it's the rest. What's happened? Tell his big pal I'm okay. Yes, he's all right, officer. I hope. Well, I found him up in the alley in his shorts, carrying all these bedspots. I think he's some kind of a pain. Oh, you're crazy. I'm going to live here. Live here? Live here. In the kitchen. He's all right, officer. We know him. Oh, it's you two again, ain't it? I thought I warned you to move out of my feet. How dare you? Yeah, I see you, officer. And who do you think you are? I'll tell you who I am. Oh, stop it. Who cares who anybody is? What's the difference? Anybody walks in here? Everybody walks in here. Good evening. Rue, Rue, stop. Why, he's a caca, isn't he? I am the doorman at the Roxton Breeney. Where do you want me to put her? What who? The girl. She passed out. We carried her home. What girl? Bring her any gar. Hey, it's everything. He used to lift me. Put her down, Egor. Wait, wait a minute. Take that thing out of here. She doesn't live here anymore. Hey, hey. This is not the first time I take her home. Well, with a bad location and no neon sign, we're doing a whale of a business. I read your story, and I'd like to discuss it. And Mr. Baker? I said I read your story. That's what I thought you said, Mr. Baker. Oh, where are we going? Oh, some place we can talk. We certainly couldn't do it back there. Ha! Paul is smoke you live in a menagerie. Who are all those people? Well, they're just the people that have them. They look like a three-year-old circus. How long have you lived in that place? Well, now that's all we need to talk. I knew it was that guy with the wine all over his room. Oh, that was a friend of my sister. And say, hey, what's the idea running out of my office today? Hey, come on, come on, answer me. But you don't seem to wait for an answer, Mr. Baker. Oh, hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Look, I hope you don't mind my rushing away like that. Oh, not at all. As a matter of fact, we were just sitting down to dinner. Oh, you're hungry. Well, why didn't you say so? Hey, driver, corner of Third Avenue in Forty-Dame. Yes. Really? They make a dish there that's thick for kings. Honestly, what? Spaghetti and meatballs. Oh. Can't eat this stuff too often though. It makes you fat. I shouldn't want it. What an earful you gave the boss. Oh, it was beautiful. You know, for a girl from the backwood, you're pretty true. Where did you get all that sense? Well, what's the difference? You've got it. You know, I've been having this fight with Craven on policy for years. And then you come along and take the case better than I did myself. Now, look, look, I need advice. What do you think I ought to do? Let me tell you what's been going on with Craven ever since I took this deal. Now, wait a minute. Wait a minute. You did read my stories, didn't you? Oh, yes. I told you. Now, where was I? You were saying something about this guy. Oh, yes. Now, don't misunderstand me. Craven's a nice guy outside the office. You wouldn't know him. But the moment he gets down there, he's a bully. Why, talk, talk, talk all the time. Never here's what you have to say. People like that drive you crazy, don't they? Yep. Oh, it kills me. I'm trying to tell him that the first requisite of a modern magazine is to keep up with the time. With the changing customs and speech, you know? Here, say, aren't you getting tired of this place? Not the place so much. Me too. Let's go. Oh, no, I'm not going to quit. Why, anybody can walk out. Well, good night. See you in a minute. You're not going in yet. Sit down. Sit down. You see? Let me tell you, there's a thrill to this job. If I can do what I want. But if I can work on stories that are alive and help others with talent to dig those stories out. But what do you think? I don't think it's just fine. And I also think it's after three o'clock in the morning. And if I ever come across the kind of author you're looking for, I'll let you know. Good night. Hey, wait a second. What for? I can't even get a word in Ed Price. You can't seem to... I can't seem to tell you a reminder that I'm an author too and that I've written some stories about Columbus. Remember? Sure. And I read them. Are they good? They are? Well, why didn't you say so? Didn't I? No. Well, I'm telling you now. They're quite good. Oh, just quite good. Well, isn't that enough? You mean if you could publish them, you wouldn't. No, I wouldn't. Oh, the people come up all right. But the stories are flat. They don't get anywhere. Nothing happens. Ha-ha. That's because not enough happens to you. Oh, it doesn't, eh? That's what I said. Why? You can't lead a quiet, sheltered life the way you do it. Quiet, sheltered? Down in that tunnel, with subway blasts, bouncing me all over the bed, and a populace, our rascute and landlord and Eileen's dragging home newspaper geniuses and bloodstraw Romeo's and anything else that happens to be met up with during the day and football players drifting in and out in their drawers, not to mention the rest of the world stooping through the windows over some kind of a public exhibition. Oh, shut up. Did you say show them? That's it, that's it. That's exactly the stuff. Well, why don't you go on and write it? Write what? Well, write about all those people, start their story in Columbus and bring it to New York. Write about Rascute and Eileen on the blast to the manager. Gee, it's wonderful. Gee, I see what you mean. Of course, I'm going to do it. When can I have it? I don't know, but I'm going to work right now. Oh, somebody threw something out of the hole before you got killed. Good night. Good night. Ah, shut up. What do you think this is? The Grand Central Station? Is that you, booze? Yes, dear. Well, what's all that noise out there? Nothing. Just me. Well, what time is it? 3.30. Ruth, you were out with the man. Uh-huh. And you've had no experience with men. Isn't it awful? Aren't you ashamed? And you were supposed to take care of me. Oh, Eileen, I love New York. I love everything about it. I like the air. I like your streets. Booze! Oh, get it there, booze! Get it there! Mr. DeMills presents the second act of my sister Eileen starring Rosalind Russell, Diana Hearn, and Janet Blair with our team to mirror off in just a moment. Meantime, I have a problem. You have, Mr. Kennedy? Yes. I think being on the Lux Radio Theater is bad for me. You do? Well, I can't see anything wrong. But I can. That's just the trouble, Sally. I keep seeing things. Seeing things? What kind of things? Oh, blouses and dresses that are all streaked and faded because they've been washed wrong. You know, I can't just walk up and say, Lady, if you'd washed that dress the Lux way, it wouldn't look like that. Not if you want to stay healthy, you can. Well, Sally, what do you think I ought to do? Well, let's see. Maybe we could have some cards printed for you to hand out. We could say New Improved Lux Place, mildest, safest, ever made, helps washables last longer. Yes. Or don't let strong soap and cake soap rubbing make your washables wear out before their time. Lux things last longer. Or just let your washword be Lux. That's short and simple. So is Lux care. True. Just get every woman to try one Big Boss with New Improved Lux Place. She'd see for herself how really frifty it is. Maybe all I'd need would be one card that says New Improved Lux Place come in the same familiar package. Ask your dealer for a frifty Big Boss tomorrow. Well, it's certainly an idea, Sally. I'll have to think it over. We pause now for station identification. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System. Act two of my sister Eileen, starring Rosalind Russell as Ruth, Ryan O'Hern as Bob Baker, and Janet Blair as Eileen, but I came to Miroff as Mr. Apopoulos. Now let's return to the Sherwood residence in Greenwich Village. No, let's not. They are still blasting that subway. We'll drop over instead to the Manhattan magazine office, where Ruth and Bob Baker are talking over the story Ruth has just finished. You really think it's all right? I think it's great. As far as I'm concerned, it's in the next issue. Craven's reading it now. You know, you're quite a gap. I like you very much. But he's had it for over an hour. No, no, no. Don't do what it is. He's a slow reader. Oh, oh, I meant to tell you. I don't like the title. I don't like it either. Well, we've got to get another one. Well, I have thought of some of it. Like what? Well, it seems to all hinge on Eileen. Yeah? I mean, she's in it so much, that I thought of simply calling it... My sister Eileen? Yeah, that's it. Might be good. Might be perfect. In fact, it's... Oh, I'm sorry to intrude. Oh, intrude. Nothing. We're waiting for you, Craven. Nice job. I didn't think Columbus had a dinner. What did I tell you, Ruth? It's a magnificent job. Yes, you ought to be able to sell that somewhere. What? Somewhere? Well, why the dickens, you think I ask you to reason? Because you want to put it in the Manhattan. It's not the type of material for our policy. No? Well, you and I are going to have a showdown on policy, right? Oh, no, please. Now, look, Frank, either that story goes in our next issue or I quit. Oh, no, no. That's a burden, Mr. Bateson. Well, I guess I'll have to accept your resignation, Bob. Good. But try to fill that issue as off the press, unless you don't care about another job in the publishing business. My mother-in-law's eyes, and she found out Beck and Helen were married. Boy, was she mad. Has the wreck moved out of here? Oh, yes, he's gone back up there. Good. He doesn't care much for his mother-in-law, though. He says he's going to wait till Mother's Day and then stop her. It's a nice sentiment. Well, what else happened today? You didn't get into anybody's inside waiting room, did you? No, I was at the food show. And what are they casting at the food show? Well, I saw a lot of people coming out with big bags of samples. We might as well have some, too. Look, I've got enough junk here for a week. Vitacentral, zippy, gruffo, nature's boom. We're going to have breakfast all day long. Oh, but it's good for you, Ruth. It's lucky. I'd like to bury it with a little smoothage, like a steak. Oh, I forgot. Frank and I are friends again. I explained everything. Would you tell him if he was our fairy godmother? Gee, I had a swell, then. I had tomato juice, a tomato and olive sandwich. Tuna surprise? A giant double mop with marble taste. That's right, dear. Keep your strength up. You're eating for both of us now. Well, it's a funny thing, Ruth. You don't seem to be losing any weight. How can I? I'm potato, bread and spaghetti. I'm starving all day long, and I keep getting fatter. I think I'll go on a diet of nature's boom. Delicious with strawberries and cream. What isn't? You know, I wouldn't mind this place or chiseling our meals or anything if I only thought it was getting us someplace. Ruth, do you think we ought to go home for a little vacation? No, no, I don't. I think you ought to stay right here and do a little work. I want a little people quiet around here. I'm going to work till at least midnight. Greetings, dear ladies. Greetings. Oh, hello, Mr. Potter. Congratulations, dear ladies. The day is a big day. It's not my one-month offer. So I come to take my painting away and... Hey. Hey, what kind of funny game for them here? Where's my painting? Well, didn't you take it? I didn't even notice it was gone. No, don't follow. Don't give me a cock and bull story. What have you done with my painting? Well, I must have been stolen. Maybe it was the same gang that swiped the Mona Lisa. Hey, you didn't take it. You know everybody who comes into this apartment. We don't even know half of them, including you. My dear lady, that painting was the last existing panel of my blue-green period. What happened to the others? Sir Mike? That's your last word? Sir Mike. That's all I want to know. Please, don't even notice it was gone. Ruth, I wonder who could have taken his painting. You know, there must be an idiot sneak thief in the neighborhood. Oh, dear. What's the matter, Ruth? You look terribly down. Yeah, it's bad enough to see that you can't write your own name. It's on account of my stuff that Bob Baker's life is turned inside out. I'm a jinx, besides. Oh, gee, Ruth, if you start feeling that way, who's going to hold me up? I'm not worried about you, Eileen. Not while there's a man alive. Oh, but after all, men are only an escape. It comes another escape. Hello, Sherwood resident. Miss Lou Sherwood, for me? Lou's calling. Oh, just a minute. Wait a second. Who's this chick's heart-pounding thief? Hello? Yes. Yes, it's her she. Her? She. Paul? Oh, yes, it's a bane. Yes, it's a bane. Thank you, Mr. Bane. What is it? What happened? Yes, it's a bane. Tams Street, Brooklyn. Sure as you're, I understand. Yeah, right away, Mr. Bane. I can't believe it. What is it? What did he want? The editor. He's going to give me a chance to show what I can do. I got an assignment over in Brooklyn. Brooklyn? What happened over there? A merchant marine, a Portuguese ship with a load of young cadets. It just came in. I got to do a human interstory. Where's my hat? Where's my bag? Oh, Ruth. This is the pardon from the governor. We're saved by the bell, Eileen. I just checked heart for some good after all. Yeah, I guess I owe Mr. Clark an apology. I always thought he was just trying to get around you. I still think so. Oh, Eileen, goodbye. Take care of everything. Goodbye now. Eileen, where is Brooklyn? Oh, you... Well, what's the good word? Well, how did you get in here? Oh, you're back to a locking question. Oh, yes, I know. Gee, you scared me to death. Uh-uh, take it easy, sugar. I just happened to see Ruth ducking down the subway, and I said, maybe Ellen was alone. Oh, yes, well, she was on her way to Brooklyn. Oh, Chick, I want to thank you for getting Ruth that assignment. Ah, forget it, forget it. Now, uh, let's get off, you can say that. Come here, sugar. Oh, hmm. Well, Chick, I've been waiting for that interview to be published. This week, sugar. Oh, thanks. I gotta go now. Uh, you're excusing off here. Excusing? Mm-hmm. After I went and fixed it, they'd get you alone without that eagle-eyed sister of yours around? You mean, you mean... It, it wasn't the editor. It was you. You sent Ruth over to Brooklyn on a wild goose chase. Well, a goose chase, nothing. It was one of the other boys' assignment. Oh, but how will I, how will the editor ever know that Ruth wrote it? Well, maybe he won't, but it's not a good experience for her. Oh, you ought to be ashamed. Oh, how am I ever going to tell her? Now, don't get faggied yet. Oh, you get out of here. Ah, now that's a silly attitude to take. No way. Get away from me. Oh, stop playing coy. Oh, please. Sugar. Stop it, please. Now, Mrs. Clark, would you please get out? Are you going to do it the lady out? Oh, yes. Oh, okay. A little too hot for wrestling anyway. You know, I look forward to the day when the Bronx Express runs right through this room. Oh, yes. Thank you. To see Ruth, didn't you? Oh, oh, Ruth, yes. Where is she? Oh, that chick's heart center on a fake newspaper assignment to Brooklyn. I'm having a bad day, isn't she? Well. Ruth tells me you're an actress. Yes, I want to be if I can ever get in a producer's office. Well, isn't that too difficult? I'll see if I can arrange something. Oh, if you only could. Oh, but I would want to go to any trouble, Mr. Baker, after you've taken such an interest in Ruth. That's fair. I've taken such an interest in all of that. Oh. Ruth is right, Mr. Baker. Well, you're the nicest person I've met in New York, too. And you know the things they say about New York aren't true at all. Why, everybody's been just lovely to me. Yeah. I think I can understand that. Can you, Mr. Baker? Oh, sure. Oh, well, I'm sorry what happened to you and your job. Ruth told me all about it. Oh, yes, isn't it great? You know, I, uh, I am so delighted since I was a kid. You know what I had in mind when I came calling? A celebration. Oh, you mean with Ruth? Uh, yes, but, sir, but why not with both the Sherwoods? The Sherwoods is running kind of as well. Now, what would you say to a theater, a nightclub somewhere, eh? Oh, I know what this is, baby. Fine, fine. Well, I'll pick you up at eight o'clock. Goodbye, goodbye for now. Goodbye. Goodbye, bye. Hey, how do you do, gentlemen? Comus. I'm Irina. Listen, Emily Post, how do you say get the chickens out of here in Portuguese? You mean, you mean they don't speak any English at all? Not a word. She's Mr. Genius. What did you bring them here for? Bring them here. They've been on my tail ever since I left the Brooklyn Docks. There were half a dozen more of them when we started, but they got lost in the subway. Yes. That's a maximum of a least amount. Well, what do they want anyway? What do you think they want? Oh, we've got to get an out of here, Ruth. Well, we're supposed to take a crack at it. All right. Um, go away. Go away, boys. Please. Oh, no. Look, boys, go back to your boat. You know, boat? Boat? Admiral Sherwood, I presume. Oh, dear. What are we going to do? Well, I guess you're just going to stand around here grinning at each other until they learn to speak English. Well, I'm supposed to. Epimente. Look, they're tossing your coins. Who's who? What are they tossing for? I've got a hunch it's not me. Hey, you. Hey, you. Mina Carida Prima Americana. No. No, go away. Go away. Yeah, if you all right, he won't. Oh. What a performance. Bernhard couldn't have done better. Well, stop grinning at me like that. Hey, you. Turn off that radio. We don't want any music. So you could turn off the radio? So you could turn off the radio. No. No, it doesn't work. What do you mean? It doesn't work? So you could turn off the radio? Check the camera. Yeah. So you could turn off the radio. No. No, no, no. I don't want to hear you. No, no, no. No, no. Don't do it. I'll get your car. No. I'll get your car, too. No. It's OK. No. I will. I'll get your car. When you lock them out of everywhere and you just saw her, well, slow to waste soil and percolate them. Easily and very, very gently, with no rubbing, no harmful alkaline or weak in the fabric, or fade the color. Don't let things get really soiled before you lock them. That's wasteful. Soil and percolate in lesson fabrics are very hard on them. Make them wear out before their time. And then do it wasteful because you have to use extra luck to get out the dirt. Lock them out of everywhere as you should, and I think you'll be surprised at how little luck you need to do the job. Now, two table spoons are enough to wash a blouse, a day zombies, and stockings. Yes, new improved luck plates give you richer suds than ever. Longer lasting suds that do more work. To make a long story short, luck things last longer, and luck lasts longer too. Luck cares, frisky care, a short way to longer wear. Now, our producer, Mr. DeMille. We'll get the latest news about our stars after the play. Now, here's the third act of my sister Eileen. We're playing Rosalind Russell, Brianna Hearn, and Janice Blair with a keen Panera. Ruth's sister, Eileen, is in the lock-up. For anyone else, this would be a very serious moment. But Eileen is not worried. She's the bell of the police station, and the officers are feeding her ice cream. Oh, come on, Eileen. Open your mouth. Oh, boy, you're awfully sweet. Hi, Eileen, dear. Hi, Ruth. Hello. What are they doing to you, darling? Feeding the ice cream. Isn't that nice of the boys? Eileen, are you all right? Oh, right. Well, of course I'm all right. Oh, Mr. Bacus. Oh, Bob, it was terribly nice of you to come. Oh, that's all right. I came as fast as I could, Eileen. Well, I should even know who you are, Eileen. Well, it certainly does. We had a good night as fast as afternoon, didn't we? Oh? Look, Ruth, I don't want you to worry, but I'm afraid the news is not too good. I did some phoning about this, and it seems that a facility around medication. What kind of ramifications? Well, it seems that Washington wants Eileen to have. Washington? CC? Yeah. Something about foreign relations. The Portuguese merchant movement. Oh, God, what a scare to think about this. We just have to get a lawyer. Oh, no, no, no, no. It's only a ticket to California. I'll show it out in a few hours, but, uh, I'm afraid Eileen has to spend the night in jail. Oh, boy! Get some ice cream out. Oh, darling, how perfectly horrible for you. Well, now, Ruth, if I have to, I have to. That's all. Come on, boys. Lock me up. Oh, Miss Talwood, you've finally returned to the scene of your crime. Now, don't you start a populace and in no mood to swap subtleties with you. That's so high and hot in my dear lady. Please. Arrest. Jail. I only hope your sister sends enough to give the wrong address. Yeah, imagine what bad publicity could do for this rat hole. Now, listen, uh, you see, I don't hold grudges. So if you got some money and if you want to stay in here, I, uh, I'm ready to talk business. Oh, you're all right. All right. How about returning our month's rent? We're still dissatisfied. What? What are you talking about? Who ever said such a thing? I was one of the witnesses and I don't remember. Okay, witness, blow. Blow? Me? In my own building? Yeah, blow. In your own building? Very well, I will blow. But five o'clock tomorrow when your currency's expires, I'm blowing back again. Just a minute. Hello, darling. What? Why, Dad? Oh, Dad. I'm here, too, you know. Grandma. Oh, why didn't you let us know you were coming? What are you doing here anyway? Well, your father's been worrying like a fool. Worried? Worried about what, Dad? Where's Eileen Ruth? Eileen? Oh, well, she's out for the day already. Eileen? At ten o'clock in the morning. Doing what? Well, nothing yet. I mean, she's, oh, jeez, Dad, you look great. Why is it she never wrote about anything definite? Well, you see, darling, it takes time. I mean, I've seen in a lot of material, one story in particular. Well, how are you, Ruth? Right, could you come back a little later? Oh, there ain't got to be no later. Helen, I'm just sleeping on our honeymoon. Honeymoon? Ruth? Mother said her daughter couldn't get married without her being pregnant, so we had to get married all over again. Yeah, well, so long, baby. We'll be seeing you. Yeah, goodbye, Rick. Oh, Ruth, I want to thank you for all you've done. Oh, that's all right. Goodbye. Well, it isn't epic, though, that would let my husband come and live with him. What's that? What? Goodbye, Helen. Bye. Goodbye, and listen, tell Eileen, well, sorry she wasn't here. Yes, I will, I will. Well, say, when are they letting her out of jail? In jail? Oh, get out of here, will you please? Oh, Ruth. What? Ruth, is Eileen in jail? Well, Eileen, it's a long story. How long has she been in? Well, you see, there were 10 Portuguese sailors. What? I mean, um... Dad! Oh, Grandma! I mean, come here. Darling, is everything all right? Oh, it's fine. Daddy, you just died when you hear where I've been. Yes, I'm still anywhere. I've already heard. Dad, it isn't as bad as it sounds. Oh, Mother Ruth, you girls are coming home with me tonight. Home? I can explain the whole thing if you... You can make your explanations on the way back to Columbus. You pack, Ruth. Just about. Oh, horrible. That's what it is. Just horrible. And after meeting the nicest person we met in our lives, the first person who really seemed to care what happened to my career. You mean... Mr. Baker? Yes. Bob Baker. Now, how am I going to call him up and say, Father's funding me off home? Well, it really doesn't make any difference, Eileen. We didn't get to know him too well. What? He said... He said we've got to go home. So it doesn't matter now. What? Ruth, I never dreamed. You like him, too. Well, strange as it may seem. Why? I never had any idea. And me? Me that's had no experience with men. See, that's bad, isn't it? That's ridiculous. I'm just a goof. Come on, Eileen, finish packing. Dad said he'd get back here any minute. Who is it? Good morning. Oh, hello, Bob. Oh, Gilbert. Packing? What does this mean? We're going home. Yes, Father came. He wanted to go back for a little while. Yes, but wait a minute. Wait a minute. When are you coming back? I don't think we'll ever be back. We're going home because we're a couple of flat, broke faces. Oh, Ruth. As a matter of fact, if Dad hadn't shown up, I guess he'd have had to sum our way back to Columbus. Oh, oh, oh. Now, that can't be true. Oh, no. I got three extra pounds to prove it for eating potatoes and spaghetti. We can't even buy that much now. All right. You can buy a lot of spaghetti for 250 bucks. Here, this check seems to be yours. It has your name on it. Here. $250. With much too early in life to begin accepting charity, Mr. Bater, we won't take it. Thank you very much. Oh, I get it. You're going to read page 15 of this new issue of the Manhattan. And you're going to hold us up, eh? Of course you're going to sue us for almost a million dollars. Page 15. Well, what's on it? Look. My sister, I lean by Ruth Sherwood. My sister, I... Why, that's me. Ruth, that's your story. How did it happen? How do you think it happened? And if you want to know, several people have already told me to say that they consider this is the best human interest story of the year. Oh, no! Oh, yes. I'd leave you young ladies, but I couldn't help but to worry here. Congratulations. All right, Apopolis. Thank you. And you can have your apartment today. Oh, no. I will not hear of your leaving. Why? I'm sure we can reach an understanding. I'm sure you think so now, Mr. Apopolis. But in the future, we certainly won't be living in a place where there are explosions under the bed. Oh, but wait. Wait. The blasting is over. I just got a letter from the city. What? In black and white. Please, not. Blasting will terminate on August the 1st, today. And you'll fix this place up? Now, wait a minute. New furniture, new paint. A1 stop and planning. Venetian blind? Venetian blind? Oh, Ruth, I think we ought to do it. Certainly. Yeah, but how do we know he's going to do what he says? It's in the list here. There you see. Oh, please, Ruth. He can't pack out. And we've got him just where we want him. Absolutely. I'm trapped. Well, all right. I'll sign it. Congratulations, young lady. You've made a very wise decision. Are you ready yet, girls? The bus leaves in 40 minutes. Dad, we're not doing. What? What happened? Ruth told the story. Look, we're famous. Both of us. I don't believe it. Congratulations, Mr. Sherwood. You have a pair of brilliant daughters. I'm proud to have them a tenant for the next six months. Six months? Yes, it's all settled, Dad. We've just signed the lease. Yes. Thank you. Goodbye, everybody. What? What is that? My goodness. What is it? A populous? I thought with a blessing you'd go, but now they're starting to drill. Goodbye. Now I'm convinced. You girls are coming right back to Columbus. Oh, no, no, no. Not Ruth Sherwood. What's that? I didn't tell you, Ruth, but this morning Mr. Craven has decided that there is room in his publication for some human material. And I have a contract here for all the future Eileen stories you'll ever write. Oh, Ruth. And believe me, the Eileen stories will go on forever. Why, I've just gotten loads of material. I'll guarantee that. Now, see here. What's happening here? Look, I've made up my mind. Oh, no, no, no. You can't take Ruth back to Columbus now. Why don't you see, she and I have a lot of work to do together. It may take years. Maybe even a lifetime to finish. I wonder if you understand me. A lifetime? It's getting to be clear to me. You mean, you want to, you and Ruth? Yes, sir. Oh. Well, in any case, certainly Eileen is coming home. Oh, no, no, no, Dad, she isn't. If I say, Eileen says, too. If the baby knows a lot of people in the theatrical world. Of course, I do. Well, we ought to celebrate. Will you all be my guests for dinner? Now, you're talking, young man. But no, it's for Daddy. Positively not. Come on. Hold on, Mother Nun. Oh, Walter, be still. Let's go. Oh! There's something coming up through the floor. Yes, sir. Stand back. It's a drill. They're drilling through the floor. Oh! Excuse me, ladies. Hey, Mo! I think we made the wrong choice. Our choice will be back for a certain call in just a moment. We're a little late for Mother's Day or even for Father's Day. But good news about babies is welcome any day in the year. You know those underpinnings that baby wears? Well, they used to be triangular, but I understand the modern generation is getting more of a square deal. Here's a note about them I read in the paper the other day. To keep up with the rising birth rate, the WPB has allowed their manufacture to increase so that by the year's end we'll be producing 100 million of them. So it looks as though an urgent clothing problem for young America is on the way to being solved or partly solved. I say partly because baby must not only have these important bits of wearing apparel, but mother or nurse must see to it that they're properly cared for so they're comfortable for baby to wear. And that's where new improved luxe flakes come into the picture. Wise mothers use this super safe new luxe for all of baby's washable. Then they run no risk of having the harmful alkali from strong soap remain in the fabric to irritate baby's tender skin. When you wash them the gentle luxe way, little sweaters and woollies will come out soft and fluffy. They won't shrink out of shape or fade or get harsh and scratchy. New improved luxe is the gentlest kind of washing care for everything your baby wears. And the richer, longer lasting suds do more work than ever. So it's very frifty care too. It comes in the same familiar blue box. New improved luxe flakes. Now, here's Mr. DeMille with our stars. If we all feel a little merrier than we did an hour ago, now is the time to give credit to Rosalind Russell, Brianna Hearn, Janet Flair, and I came to meet her. Thank you, Mr. DeMille. It's a pleasure to be here again. In fact, CP, this is Rosalind's first appearance here since he became the mother of a handsome baby in Hollywood. Is that, uh, positively? Oh, I don't think he really is a Kim. Now, Ros, you're just being modest. Okay, you taught me into it. What's his name, Rosalind? His name is Carl Lantz. Ah, and I guess he's listening in tonight. Of course. Maybe he's an even pretty. Well, eight weeks old is a little young for that, Kim. If you want any advice on raising children, Rosalind, just ask me. Hmm, that sounds like authority talking. Hmm, the authority of four children and seven grandchildren, Janet. I know the business from the 2 a.m. bottle at the stage when they attacked the dining room table with a hatchet. That's right, Brian. The last time you were here, you were, you were studying to become a flying instructor. How's it coming along? Oh, it was, CP. I hope it's out right away. Good luck, Brian. Thank you, Janet. No, CP, what about next week's play? Closes the season for you, doesn't it? Yes, and it closes on a note of triumph, because next Monday night's play is the Warner Brothers screen success Air Force. And our stars will be George Raff and Harry Carey. Air Force is the story of a lady named Mary Ann, who had a whole crew of men in love with her. A crew which followed her from America to Hawaii to New York Island to Manila and to Australia. Mary Ann is a flying force. And we'll tell you a wonderful story next Monday night. It should be a very thrilling radio drama, Mr. DeMille. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Let's hope you've enjoyed the evening as much as I have. Ladies and gentlemen, today we not only celebrate our independence, but in every corner of the world, our boys are fighting for it. Fighting for the freedom that was won so hard and has been kept so long. So I give you an Independence Day toast to our fighting men and the flag they fight for. Our sponsors, the makers of Buck's Flakes, join me in inviting you to be with us again next Monday night. When the Lux Radio Theatre presents George Raff and Harry Carey in Air Force. It's accessibility to know saying good night to you from Hollywood. Helen Ruddwell appeared through the courtesy of Columbia Pictures and she is soon to be seen in the Columbia production, Ten Percent Woman. Janet Blair also was heard tonight through the courtesy of Columbia Pictures and will next appear on the screen co-starring with Rita Hayworth in Heart of a City. Brianna Hearn's next picture is the Columbia production Attack by Night. Our team to mirrored will be seen in Paramount for whom the bell tolls. Here's a radio announcement of great interest. Brett Brady, MGM's hilarious new comedy fine, starts a brand new comedy show, beginning Thursday evening over another network. See your daily newspaper for the time and station. I know you'll be glad I called your attention to this new Brett Brady show starting Thursday evening and continuing every Thursday thereafter. Heard in tonight's play were Roland Breaux as Rex, Ben Alexander as Frank, Wally Mayer as Chick, Jeff Zanel as Helen, Leo Cleary as Craven, Cliff Clark as Top, Ian Christie, Arthur Q. Bryan, Eddie Marr, Norman Fields, Verna Felton, Fred Matai, Louise Arthur and Vicki Lang. Our music was directed by Louis Silver. This is her announcer, John M. Kennedy, reminding you to tune in next Monday night to hear George Raff and Harry Carey in Air Force. Mothers, everyone knows it's harder to get vitamin-rich foods than these days of food shortages. But have you thought about giving your family bins? These things are scientifically designed to help make meals complete. They give you all the vitamins government experts say are essential, balanced in the formula,