 As-salamu alaikum and welcome to Grandparents Day at MCC. I am Khidija Saeed and I am grateful to MCC for giving me this opportunity to hold this wonderful session to bring together our grandparents and their lovely, lovely parents. So we'll begin with a short introduction and discussion about the topic and then inshallah we'll have a guest speaker we're hoping to have as Dada Hussai join us for a few minutes and then inshallah we'll move to the craft area. We'll do some craft together, some coloring, make some lovely take home crafts which will be followed by snacks and inshallah we're hoping to have a photo session where we can get a photo of you with your grandkid and we'll email it to you inshallah. So let's start the session by getting to know you all a little better. So I'll ask you a few questions right up there so raise your hand if that's applicable to you. As the grandkids are a little young to understand what that means, grandfathers feel free to step in. So how many of you live with your grandparents? Oh your grandparents live with you, you live with your grandparents whatever in the same house. Oh what a wonderful inshallah. And how many of you have your grandparents living nearby, maybe they just live across the street or somewhere in the greater Bay Area so you could at least visit that. You do? Okay and how many, are there any grandparents here who are visiting probably from other parts of the country or other parts of the world? Yeah, alhamdulillah. Where are you visiting us from? India. Alhamdulillah. That's a long way. So now to the grandkids here. Imagine yourself, you're all alone and there's nobody to care for you, nobody to help you. Mommy and daddy are not around. Would that be a little scary? Like there's absolutely nobody to help you around to take care of you. Would you be scared? Would you be worried? You can answer back. Nala you wouldn't be scared? You wouldn't break out. You would be really scared. So now think about how blessed you are to have your parents and even more blessed to have their parents close to you. Do you know what a great blessing it is from Allah to have your parents with you? Your parents and grandparents. Allah did, right? Yeah, do you want to answer that? Who gave you your parents and grandparents? Sorry, can you be a little more clear? Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Perfect. Yes. Allah gave us our parents and he gave us their parents who happened to be our lovely, lovely grandparents, okay? So Allah is Al Khalif. That's one of the beautiful names of Allah. And what does Al Khalif mean? Al Khalif means that Allah is the creator. He created things from nothing, right? From absolutely nothing. And that is something that we have to be always grateful for our parents. And then of course when I input parents it automatically refers to their parents well which happened to be your grandparents, okay? So something we always have to remember in life is how much grateful we are to our parents and our grandparents. And one of the easiest ways to do this, do you know what this one word that means to thank Allah for the bottom of your heart? It's a simple word, it's called alhamdulillah. Can you just say that with me please? Alhamdulillah. Yeah, that means you're thankful to Allah, you're grateful to Allah. So always be thankful. You will never know the value of a parent and a grandparent unless you don't have them, okay? So you're all some of the most blessed people in the world to have both your parents and grandparents right beside you. Yeah. So do you know what a family means? A family is most probably you, your siblings. Siblings means your brothers and sisters and then your parents. And then dear parents, so your mom has seven parents and your dad has seven parents and those all become your grandparents. Your lovely, lovely grandparents. So who takes care of you at home mostly? Like who cooks for you, who helps you go to school and everything? Can anybody answer that to me? Yeah? Your mom, yeah, perfect. And who did that to your mom when she was a kid? Your parents were kids at some time, right? So somebody would have helped do the same things to them that your mom and dad do for you. And who are they? You are here with them today. Who are they? Your grandparents, yeah. So you have to be doubly thankful to your grandparents first because they took care of your parents and now they can just don't care with you and they're taking care of you. The fact that they all came today with you itself is a blessing because they want to be with you, right? And they want to be with you, they want to play with you over there. So always be grateful and thankful to Allah first and then your parents and their parents, your grandparents. Allah is the creator of all I see. Allah made my world and Allah made me. Okay, so there's a family tree right there. So who's at the bottom of the family tree? Yeah, so we begin right here. So that's you, right? And then your mommy and then your daddy. I mean, it depends on how many siblings you have, the siblings. And then your mommy's mother and father and your daddy's mother and father. So those become your grandparents. That's what a family looks like. Okay. So can you imagine yourself in a really hot desert and how nice it would be to get some shade under that lovely tree? How do you think it would be? How would that make you feel? Would that make you feel happy? Would that make you feel like relieved that you finally got some shade in the burning hot desert? That's exactly how your grandparents are. They are that lovely welcoming tree in the middle of the desert. They're always ready to have you. They're always ready to welcome you to play with you, right? They're that really cool shade that brings relief in your life. They have all the love and warmth in the world for you. For grandparents, grandkids mean their entire world. They're like these precious pearls to them. So they're always willing and ready to shower their love and warmth in you. Right? So and you know how deep the roots of that tree would go to hold it in all that wind of the desert? They're always there for you. They're the roots of your family. Right? So you may not always live together but never doubt the love that your grandparents have for you. So after our parents, the most important people in our lives are our grandparents. So they're Allah's really special gift to us. Okay? So value them, treasure them and do du'a for them. Do you know how much du'a your grandparents do for you? Right? Ask your grandparents. I'm sure after every salah they do du'a for their grandkids. And you should do the same. Do du'a for them. At this age, they probably need du'a for good health. Okay? So always, always do du'a for them. And what else can you do to make them happy? Right? Spend time with them. So that is something I'm sure most grandparents look forward to. They either live with you or delivery wherever but I'm sure they would love to spend time. Actually spend time with your grandparents. Raise your hands. You do? Do you love spending time with your grandparents? Yeah. Oh, perfect. Alhamdulillah. So what do you do to spend time with them? Hands and arms sir. Feel free to. Sure. Go ahead. Face line with your grandma. Hey, that's nice. Yeah. Oh, your grandparents are really cool, huh? Hang out to talk. Anyone else? Yeah. You read books with them? That's fantastic. That's one of the best things to do with grandparents. They make the best playmates, right? Okay. So make sure whatever time you get off your school, whatever, that you spend time with grandparents. They love spending time with you. Okay? And do something you enjoy doing with them and do something they enjoy doing with you as well. So it could be something like you said about reading a book. If your grandparents like to read a book, read a book, learn a language from them. They probably know more languages. They know better languages. They'll know your, what I'd say, your native language maybe. Yeah, learn that from them. Talk to them. Talk to them about anything in the world and I'm sure your grandparents will listen. Okay? So if it's something that's bothering you, if it's something that you want to share with them, feel free to talk to them. When you're a little older, maybe you can discuss your issues with them. They will listen without being judgmental, right? And help them, take care of them. Maybe offer them a glass of water when they need it, you know? Come over and, if you're a little old enough to give them their medicines on time, feel free to do that. Share a common hobby. Maybe your grandmother loves cooking. So go ahead and learn something from them. Help them to bake maybe, or something that you can do. Learn a skill from them. Cook a favorite meal. Make a quilt. Draw your family tree. Collect all photographs. Nobody in the family would have better photographs than your grandparents. So take them out. Tell them to show it to you. That way you'll know your extended family. You might, you know, people who live far away maybe, people you haven't even seen in some time. You'll get to know them all through those photographs, those wonderful old photographs. By all means, they'll be like black and white as you appear. You wouldn't even have seen those kind of photographs. But you'll get another better. Learn about the time they were kids. It was a whole different world. And even when your parents were kids, right? That's something you can always learn from your grandparents. Nobody else is going to tell you that. And your parents certainly won't tell you all the secrets of their childhood. But their parents would know. Okay. Do you know that there's some serious benefits to spending time with grandparents? What can they be? So the first point here is that they're both mentally and emotionally enriching football. Do you know what that means? Like, in this case, you can share with your grandparents. You can fight with them. You can tell them anything you want. But grandparents on seeing their kids chill, energized, and they might even forget all the problems they have associated with old age. Maybe they'll forget their aches and pains. Because what they want to do is play with your grandparents. Spend time with them. Right? Second point is that grandparents can be both mentors and playmates. So some of you said that your grandparents played with you, right? Who said that? Some of you said play slime with them? Yeah. So the grandparents play with you. Your mom and dad, by all means, would be busy. They have jobs to do. They're running around, doing errands. They may be having to take care of the younger kids, younger siblings. But grandparents have all the time in the world for you. Especially for you. So make sure you make most of that time, right? Go play with them. Maybe you can teach them a board game. Learn something else from them. So make sure you do that. And the third point is that the teachers need to teach values. So I remember as kids, my grandparents would love us and they would spend time with us. But if we did something wrong, they would make sure to correct us. Exactly like how your grandparents probably do. They will teach you about your board. And the characters, they'll pass on family traditions. Like you might have a special dish that they make on Eid that your grandparents would know and they would teach you about that. You can also find out about your parents, about their relatives, about your brothers and sisters, and we're going to do that at the end of the session where we're going to make groups, inshallah, and get to learn our grandparents. So grandparents are a gold mine of knowledge. Some of them might not have even been to school, but they would know more than a lot of your teachers would know. Because they have something called real life experiences. They've seen life. They've been through so much. So don't ever tell them that you don't know, because they for sure know way more than you at this age at least. And how many of you find your grandparents really funny? Did they make you laugh by probably saying something? Who's your grandfather? Okay, and how do they make you laugh? Like, do they do something funny? Do they say something funny? Say something funny about you? Okay, that's funny. Yeah. You don't have fun with them. They have to be with you. It's something that I tell you to be clear. It's something that Allah has told us in the Qur'an that we have to be good to our parents. And when I ask about the parents here, by all means, use it for your grandparents' life. So in Surah Al-Isra, chapter 17 of the Qur'an, verse 23, it says, You know what that means? That means be good to your parents. If it says be good to your parents, that certainly says be good to your parents' parents, right? Right? Don't even say, off to them. Like, when they sometimes tell you something and you don't want to listen to it, don't say that to me. No, that's wrong. Don't say that to your grandparents. Don't say that to your parents. Do something with me. But on the other hand, right, the verse following that says, My Lord bestowed on them diversity, even as they cherished me in childhood, would you even for one moment think if they were not there to take care of you, your parents or your grandparents, then who would take care of you? Right? So always remember that when you say something good to them, in fact, don't say anything good to them. Be nice to them. That's what it says, Be good to your parents. Don't disrespect them. Disrespect them. Listen to them. Obey them. And of course do the work for them, like the third one says. So this verse says that after Allah, the people we need to respect the most, love the most and obey the most would be your parents and your grandparents. So don't upset them. You want to make Allah happy? Make your parents happy. Can you tell me ways of how you can be good to your grandparents? You can look that up and say that, you can tell any other point that you feel by yourselves. Do you want to share something with us? You. No? Okay. So, how can you be good to your grandparent? Talk lightly. Don't be rude. Okay? So, be nice to them. Talk to them. Hug them. Kiss them. And I'm sure they do that to you, right? So show your love to them. Show your affection to them. Show them how much they mean to you. Okay? Obey and listen to them. Don't say no. Don't just say no. And walk out from them. Ask permission. Say thank you. Please, in sorry. Those are really simple things, but they would make their day. Help whenever you can. Okay? Bring water. Give them medicines. Carry their bags for them. Anything you can do to make life easier for them. Take care of them when they're old. Sick. Right? Pray for them. And ask the letter to give them, to grant them genuine soul. And do you know who the best grandfather ever was? Can somebody think of who would have been the best father, the best husband, the best grandfather ever? He was our beloved prophet, Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. Right? So, he loved his grandkids a lot. He used to hug them, hug them. He used to pray with them. He used to carry them on his shoulders. How many of you have been carried on the shoulders by your grandparents? Does anybody remember being carried on their shoulders? No? Are you so heavy now? This is probably when you were younger, right? He would teach them to pray. He would teach them to pray Sallah. He would teach them the Duwaz. He would teach them the religious duties. He would never let them move away from that. And he would never differentiate between a grandson and a granddaughter. Okay? So, how many of you do form groups, like maybe like three grandkids and their grandparents, and then ask them these questions. It's your way of getting to know your grandparents better. That way you will take something back from the session, and you would have probably learned a little more about your grandparents, okay? So, do you want to form one groups? As-salamu alaykum. This is such a nice event. Mashallah. JazakAllah Khairan. This is for Fidija for organizing this, and for all of you for coming out. It's really beautiful. I am so honored to be here, first of all. Thank you for inviting me to speak. I just wanted to share a few stories and a few hadiths, just to kind of reinforce the beauty, you know, the objective we all have here, which is to honor each other, right? As little ones, but also as our beloved and esteemed grandparents here. So, I wanted to just read a couple of hadiths. The Prophet Sallallahu alaykum said, He is not one of us who does not show mercy to our young ones and esteem to our elderly. Okay, really important. So, what does that mean? Little ones? What do you think that means? Anybody want to take a guess? The Prophet Sallallahu alaykum is saying, in order to be included, he said you have to first, he's talking to the older people, so to all the grandparents, he says you have to be merciful, which means show a lot of love to little kids. Okay, so the Prophet Sallallahu alaykum is making two statements. Then he looks to the little kids, all of you, and he says what? You have to respect the elderly. So, the Prophet Sallallahu alaykum is addressing both of you. He's saying to the elderly and to the grandparents, show mercy, be kind to the little ones, and he's talking to the little ones and saying be respectful to your grandparents. And then he goes on and he says, if a young man honors an elderly on account of his age, Allah will appoint someone to honor him. So, every time you're respectful to your grandparents, this is, inshallah, a promise that you will also have, when it's your time and you become older, you will have people around you who also show you respect. So, there's this beautiful give and take that's happening, right? That Allah swt is constantly reminding us we all should be working together because it's mutually beneficial, right? And then another important thing, and this is really important, I actually wrote a book. I'm going to take it out because I do actually have a copy. I wrote a book on Adab. Who can tell me what Adab is? Respect, very good, manners, okay? Have you seen this book ever? Anybody seen this book? You're so nice, thank you. I wrote this book, okay? Why did I write this book? One of the reasons I wrote this book was because I first of all have children of my own, but I'm also a teacher, and I realize that one of the things that we need to as parents and as adults and even to teach our kids but also to remind ourselves is the importance of respect. So in one of the chapters here I'm just going to quickly read it for you, okay? I know if you want to actually come up, you want to come up the little ones? Come up right here, okay? Come up close, because I want to read this section to you so you can see it. Okay, you can, yeah, if you can see it, that's great. Just sit right here and I'll try to come around, okay? So in this chapter, thank you. It's called, oh perfect, it's called Sharing and Caring, okay? And the whole book is about Adab and it's about being a Muslim and what that means. So it's actually a song book, okay? So I'm gonna, is it okay? Should I sing it for you? Is that okay? Would you like that? Okay, I'll do a little song for you, okay? Just on this page it says, I am a Muslim. I say the truth. I mind my manners. Yes, I do. I save my money to help people in need. I give my time to increase my good deeds. I share my food and offer the best thing first. I drink three small sips to quench my thirst. I visit the sick to help ease their pain. I pray their strength and health will remain. I sit with my elders and ask them how they are. I help them walk to and from the car, okay? So just on this page alone, what did we learn? What did we learn? When your grandparents come over, should you be sitting in your toy room and playing with your toys? No. When your grandparents come over, should you be watching TV and your cartoons, your favorite cartoons? No. When your grandparents come over, should you be outside getting all muddy and dirty and ignoring them? So when they come over, what should we do? Yes. Mashallah. Excellent. Say hi or what else? Give me something better than hi. What else do we say? You can hug them very good. What do we say? You hug them. So this is showing adab, right? To your elders is by realizing when they come over that their time is really valuable. And your games and your cartoons, you can watch them anytime. But if you go to your grandparents' home and they come to your house, a great way to honor them is to spend time with them and ask them questions and hear their stories. And a lot of times they have a lot of funny stories. Now what about if you walked into a room and your grandparents were sitting? Is there a specific rule about what you should do? What should you do? Well, should they say hi to you first or should you say hi to them? Good. You say salam to them first. This is actually from the hadith. The Prophet ﷺ said that the younger people should initiate the salam to anybody who's older. And then the one who passes by a group should initiate that to a group that's sitting down. And the small group of people should initiate the salam to a large group. Good. So alhamdulillah. What about speaking first? If you and your grandparents are talking about something, who should talk first? Very good. Your grandparents. This is actually a hadith. The Prophet ﷺ said to us, let the elders among you speak first. So this is something we should all know. So let them answer first. Anything else that you know about how you should be with your elders? Anybody else want to share? Yeah? You just want to raise your hand? Okay. I just wanted to end on one other thing. Now the Prophet ﷺ, who knows what his two grandsons' names were? They both start with an H. Hasan. Everybody say it with me. Hasan. And then Hussein. A lot of people think they're twins. They weren't twins. They're brothers. But the Prophet ﷺ loved them so, so much. There's many hadiths where he talks about how much he loved them. And one in specific. Now before I actually get to that hadith, we have to remember the Prophet ﷺ was with them from birth. And he did, you know, he, he grew, they grew up with him in his household. And they, he taught them. He was their teacher. But another really beautiful part of their relationship that he actually describes, right, is in a hadith he says, What? These are my two sons. And the sons of my daughter. Oh Allah, I love them. So love them and love those who love them. So the Prophet ﷺ didn't refer to them as his grandsons. Do you get that? He called them directly his sons. Which is really beautiful. Because you should look at your grandparents, not just like the parents of your parents, but actually like your parents. They have the same, they should have the same, you know, level of respect that you give your parents. Like, wow, they're like my parents because they love you that much. And sometimes with all the candy and the ice cream and the cookies they give you, right, they show you and they spoil you with gifts, they show you that love, right. But this, this is what we get from this hadith is that the Prophet ﷺ is telling us that the relationship between grandchild and grandparent is actually like a parent and a child relationship. So we should respect our grandparents at the same level, okay. Alhamdulillah. So are there any other questions? I just prepared a very short talk but I'm happy to answer any questions from any of you. No? Alhamdulillah. Well, I thank you for your time. I know, masha'Allah, you have a beautiful program ahead. JazakAllah khayran ma'Allah, bless all of you and strengthen your relationships. Thank you guys for being such a wonderful audience. I appreciate it, okay. Have a wonderful day, okay. Salaamu alaikum. Take care.