 Alright everybody, I don't want to make this video but I made a promise to all of you that I'm going to try to be more vulnerable and share some of my own experience and what I'm currently going through and stuff like that on this channel and I really hope in doing so that it can help some people out there who might be struggling with weight issues. What's up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution and if you're new to my channel, my channel is all about mental health and sometimes what I do is pull different topics from the YouTube community and try to see what we can learn from them, the successes, the mistakes and all that kind of stuff but the goal is to see what we can learn to improve our own mental and emotional well-being so if you're into that stuff make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell and those of you who don't know this morning I posted a brand new video it's like a minute or two long but I announced the next Shane Dawson palette giveaway. Alright so make sure you go watch that video find out how to enter and I also said how you can get three entries instead of one into this next giveaway. Alright and surprise surprise and I don't even know why I'm doing this. If you want another entry another entry into the giveaway retweet my tweet of this video the one that you're watching right now it'll be my pinned video until the next video comes out so retweet it alright but if you retweet it anytime between now and the end of the week you'll get an extra entry but I don't know why I'm having people retweet it because this video is kind of embarrassing for me because I'm going to be talking about weight issues which I don't like to talk about but whatever you get some extra entries and like I said one of the things that I try to do is like I try to get over my own BS to hopefully help others. Alright so anyways yeah as you saw from the title I'm gonna be talking about Amberlynn Reid just briefly okay and I want to share more of my experience but when I talk about Amberlynn Reid all right all of you who dislike Amberlynn Reid okay I'm sure you have valid reasons like in this video for the purpose of this video we're gonna separate all the other stuff all the other things all right everything else for right now and we're specifically going to talk about her weight loss journey all right that is all we're talking about right now okay so something that I try to do with my channel is you know I try to let you know what I'm doing like I talk about going to therapy I'm very open and honest about that I talk about my own mental health issues my anxiety my depression my medications whatever it is my addiction my addiction recovery you know all these things I talk about all this stuff but man when it comes to my weight loss journey like I get afraid to talk about it on YouTube and be open and honest about it and one of the reasons is because of Amberlynn Reid and here's what I mean by that like I've had so many requests to make videos about Amberlynn Reid I did a while back I haven't in a long time but here's here's what breaks my heart like when people are like calling her a liar and everything for saying that she's going to try to lose weight and then doesn't like that just kills me like just calling her a liar because of that I'm like oh my god like I can relate like I'll talk more about weight in a second but let's compare this to drug addiction and alcoholism that's something that I have a lot of experience with I got sober seven years ago okay but here's the thing all right like there were so many days and some of you who are in recovery from addiction you can relate to this or even if you're in active addiction you can relate to this but there were so many days when I woke up in the morning or I got in trouble with my son's mom or with my friends or my family members and I told him I said I'm not going to drink anymore I'm not going to use drugs anymore I'm not going to I promise you and I meant it 1000% with the fiber of my being I was not going to drink or use ever again for how bad I screwed up but then next thing you knew I was getting drunk and high again all right the disease of addiction is a mother effort all right and you know I can make entire other videos and I have actually about dealing with loved ones who are struggling with addiction but like I see this kind of the same way as we see some of like Amberlynn Reed saying like hey I'm gonna try to lose weight and the next thing you know she's doing a mukbang you know what I mean and people saying liar you know like it is an issue like it is a problem and um you know that's one of the reasons I'm worried about being open about my weight loss you know on here or my weight struggles and stuff I'm like people gonna call me a liar if I fall off and everything like that but I just want to talk about it and part of one part of the reason I'm doing this is for some accountability all right so I am gonna talk about it and if anybody if I do fall off or you know whatever or I don't know what I'm gonna do yet because I have some plans so stay tuned because I want you guys to get involved too um I'm just gonna brush that off right people are gonna be dumb and idiots but I just want you guys to think about that for a little bit all right saying like oh you lie look at your eating again like or eating like crap again like it sucks man it sucks a lot of people fall off on diets um but anyways so as all of you know like I've been reading a ton of books this year and the other day I kind of made a commitment to myself that I'm going to read at least three books on like food and psychology and therapy around just eating right and relationships with food I was like I'm gonna do three books on that specific subject by the end of the year okay and I just picked up my first book uh it's called the food therapist it's excellent so far I'm about halfway done with it the audiobooks only like uh four and a half hours right but it's it's amazing like it's talking about you know my relationship food and all these things and different small little strategies that I can do and part of the reason I wanted to do this is because I just finished that other book super better and I've been doing little small changes um things as simple as just trying not to drink other stuff and just drinking more water and everything like that and I I like it is so weird and difficult to talk about but I psyched myself out like I I love learning about mental health I'll learn about mental health all day long but then like learning about like weight loss and physical health I'm like you know what I mean I'm like oh you're gonna talk me out of you know doing this like I've been a vegetarian for two years now and obviously weight issues but you know one of the things is that I've been noticing lately like I go back and I check some of my old videos for various reasons I don't really watch them but sometimes I need to like grab something from them or a clip or you know whatever and I noticed that earlier this year and even last year at this time my face was slimmer and everything and if I'm just going to be honest with you and some of you guys can relate to this like like um I fell off pretty hard this year because it's been a rough year and yeah a lot of it was I brought it on myself you know and things like that um but I am I'm somebody who eats like crap when I'm emotional um I get a case of the ethics right when I'm just like screw everything you know whatever and like the one thing I don't do is drink or use drugs and something this book has helped me me realize too is why I do it right but understanding why isn't gonna mean a damn thing unless I take action you know but now that I'm feeling better and I'm getting back into like mental health videos and trying to help people and everything like that like I'm getting in a better mental state as well and I'm caring more about my body again you know like last year I lost like 50 pounds you know like it within that year time frame and now like I'm afraid to even step on the scale because I know I've put a lot of weight back on so there's just different things that I'm doing and one of the things is some of you have seen me post on Instagram and Twitter some like little things about I'm working on this really big mental health project and this is something that I'm kind of experimenting with it with this weight loss journey myself real quick um for the coming weeks to kind of see how certain things work out but I will be starting a discord server in a Facebook group and it's not specifically for weight loss it is anybody who is trying to accomplish something or get through something or get past something you know like anybody who needs support right I'm just working out some details and I'm gonna launch this thing but we're gonna have different sections of the discord like you know if you're working on achieving certain goals maybe it's with school or if it's with you know weight loss or if it's with your mental health or whatever it is like we're gonna have a bunch of different channels in discord just stay tuned and make sure you're following me on social media but anyways so the last couple days uh just to catch you up to speed with what I've personally been doing I've been trying to be a lot more mindful with what I'm eating and how mainly how I'm eating all right like I am the type of person where I will just gobble my food down mindlessly and something like those of you who are like old school rewired soldiers like I don't know if you've noticed this I definitely have and I feel awful about it but I used to talk about mindfulness all the time all the time you know why I haven't talked about it lately because part of this year is I fell off the mindfulness wagon too and I haven't been practicing as much I haven't been meditating as much so this book and some of the other books I've read have talked about slowing down right and being more mindful so today just quick story because I don't want this video to be forever but today for example stressful day at work I was working on this project and it was just driving me nuts and it was right before lunch and I just got that case of the efforts right so even though I'm a vegetarian I'm like I'm gonna go get some fast food you know even though I'm telling myself I'm gonna eat better and do better and stuff so I just start driving to Burger King and they have the Impossible Whopper and I'm just going there I'm like screw it I'm gonna get a burger I'm gonna get a large fried all this other stuff and I was just I'm just in just total screw it mood right by the way if you can relate to this like if you get angry and eat let me know in the comments so I don't feel so crazy but anyways as I'm going there upset like the logical part of my voice my brain the prefrontal cortex was tuning in it's like Chris if you're gonna do it get a small fry all right get a small friend like no screw you right I'm arguing with myself in the car about this um and I eventually got there and I got small fries because something else that I'm learning about myself too is I am a very all or nothing type of person and it talks about that in this book like I'm the type person where I'm like I'm gonna go on this weight loss journey and if I screw up just a little I just say screw it and I will just do so many unhealthy things right and this is another reason why I'm trying to get back into mindfulness not only to get back in the moment and let go of the past and quit future tripping and everything like that but a huge part of mindfulness too is self-compassion and forgiveness like you know while also having accountability you know like one of the reasons like I've noticed a lot lately is I actually I haven't even noticed it a lot lately I've been getting called out on this a lot lately I beat myself up okay like I like no matter what comments I get online and everything like the things my brain says to me are a million times worse and my therapist called me out on it the other day my coworker called me out on it I think Tristan called me out on it but yeah so I'm grateful that people are calling me out on it because I need to get back into practicing self-compassion um one of the last books I just finished was talking about how it creates this cycle when we beat ourselves up and everything like that but I have this weird thing in my brain and maybe that'll be in my next therapy appointment tomorrow where I try to figure out like why I feel the need to beat myself up like the way I rationalize it is like if I don't beat myself up then I won't do it if I'm too soft if I'm too easy on myself then I'll just coast and not get anything done you know and I know I know that's not true because I I've been kind to myself in the past you know what I mean so I don't know it's been a crazy year and I want to in this year with a bang um last thing I just remembered like oh wait it's November so it's the holiday season where I don't know what it is this is like a million times I've like oh I'm gonna get healthy and it's right at the holiday season where it's like the most challenging but anyways anyways I just want to hop on here and talk about it and hopefully some of you can relate and you want to go on this journey with me um I'm planning on creating a gym schedule and I have a nutritionist type person I'm gonna be talking to and everything like that to try to figure this stuff out but hey anyways be nice be nice to people like if they if they fall off like I just wouldn't call them a liar it's like quitting things are hard like imagine you saying that you weren't gonna use your cell phone for a week and then you snuck and you checked your facebook or twitter or something it's almost like liar no you you slipped up you know what I mean let it go let it go it's all right but anyways um I feel good talking about this so yeah retweet this video for an extra entry in the Shane Dawson palette giveaway um I have some more videos planned out for the rest of this week and make sure you're just staying tuned because I'm gonna throw you little little tips on how you can get more entries into the giveaway and stuff like that all right but anyways that's all I got for this video if you like this video please give it a thumbs up if you're new make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell and a huge huge thank you to everybody who supports the channel of our patreon as well as everybody who supports the channel by buying my mental health books and merch and all that other good stuff all right thanks again for watching I'll see you next time