 Prologue of the Patchwork Girl of Oz. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. The Patchwork Girl of Oz by L. Frank Baum. Affectionately dedicated to my young friend Sumner Hamilton, Britain of Chicago. Prologue. Through the kindness of Dorothy Gale of Kansas, afterward Princess Dorothy of Oz, a humble writer in the United States of America was once appointed Royal Historian of Oz, with the privilege of writing the Chronicle of that Wonderful Fairyland. But after making six books about the adventures of those interesting but queer people who live in the land of Oz, the historian learned with sorrow that by an edict of the supreme ruler, Osma of Oz, her country would thereafter be rendered invisible to all who lived outside its borders and that all communication with Oz would, in the future, be cut off. The children who would learn to look for the books about Oz and who loved the stories about the gay and happy people inhabiting that favored country were as sorry as their historian that there would be no more books of Oz stories. They wrote many letters asking if the historian did not know of some adventures to write about that had happened before the land of Oz was shut out from all the rest of the world. But he did not know of any. Finally, one of the children inquired why we couldn't hear from Princess Dorothy by wireless telegraph, which would enable her to communicate to the historian whatever happened in the far-off land of Oz without his seeing her or even knowing just where Oz is. That seemed a good idea, so the historian rigged up a high tower in his backyard and took lessons in wireless telegraphy until he understood it and then began to call Princess Dorothy of Oz by sending messages into the air. Now, it wasn't likely that Dorothy would be looking for wireless messages or would heed the call, but one thing the historian was sure of and that was that the powerful sorceress Glinda would know what he was doing and that he desired to communicate with Dorothy. For Glinda has a big book in which is recorded every event that takes place anywhere in the world just the moment that it happens and so of course the book would tell her about the wireless message. And that was the way Dorothy heard that the historian wanted to speak with her and there was a shaggy man in the land of Oz who knew how to telegraph a wireless reply. The result was that the historian begged so hard to be told the latest news of Oz so that he could write it down for the children to read that Dorothy asked permission of Ozma and Ozma graciously consented. That is why after two long years of waiting another Oz story is now presented to the children of America. This would not have been possible had not some clever man invented the wireless and an equally clever child suggested the idea of reaching the mysterious land of Oz by its means. L. Frank Baum, Ozcott at Hollywood in California. End of Prologue. Where's the butter, Unk Nonkey? asked Ojo. Unk looked out of the window and stroked his long beard. Then he turned to the munchkin boy and shook his head. Isn't, said he. Isn't any butter? That's too bad, Unk. Where's the jam, then? inquired Ojo, standing on a stool so he could look through all the shelves of the cupboard. But Unk Nonkey shook his head again. Gone, he said. No jam, either? And no cake? No jelly? No apples? Nothing but bread? All, said Unk, again stroking his beard as he gazed from the window. The little boy brought the stool and sat beside his uncle, munching the dry bread slowly and seeming in deep thought. Nothing grows in our yard but the bread-tree, he mused, and there are only two more loaves on that tree, and they're not ripe yet. Tell me, Unk, why are we so poor? The old munchkin turned and looked at Ojo. He had kindly eyes, but he hadn't smiled or laughed in so long that the boy had forgotten that Unk Nonkey could look any other way than solemn, and Unk never spoke any more words than he was obliged to, so his little nephew, who lived alone with him, had learned to understand a great deal from one word. Why are we so poor, Unk? repeated the boy. Not, said the old munchkin. I think we are, declared Ojo. What have we got? House, said Unk Nonkey. I know, but everyone in the land of Oz has a place to live. What else, Unk? Bread. I'm eating the last loaf that's ripe. There, I've put aside your share, Unk. It's on the table so you can eat it when you get hungry. But when that is gone, what shall we eat, Unk? The old man shifted in his chair, but merely shook his head. Of course, said Ojo, who was obliged to talk because his uncle would not. No one starves in the land of Oz, either. There is plenty for everyone, you know, only if it isn't just where you happen to be, you must go where it is. The aged munchkin wriggled again, and stared at his small nephew, as if disturbed by his argument. By tomorrow morning, the boy went on, we must go where there is something to eat, or we shall grow very hungry and become very unhappy. Where? asked Unk. Where shall we go? I don't know, I'm sure, replied Ojo. But you must know, Unk, you must have traveled in your time because you're so old. I don't remember it, because ever since I could remember anything, we've lived right here in this lonesome round house with a little garden in back of it, in the thick woods all around. All I've ever seen of the great land of Oz, Unk, dear, is the view of that mountain over at the south, where they say the hammerheads live, who won't let anybody go by them, and that mountain at the north, where they say nobody lives. One, declared Unk, correcting him. Oh yes, one family lives there, I've heard. That's the crooked magician, whose name Dr. Pippt, and his wife Margolot. One year you told me about them. I think it took you a whole year, Unk, to say as much as I've just said about the crooked magician and his wife. They live high up on the mountain, and the good munchkin country, where the fruits and flowers grow, is just the other side. It's funny, you and I should live here all alone, in the middle of the forest, isn't it? Yes, said Unk. Then let's go away, and visit the munchkin country, and its jolly good-natured people. I'd love to get a side of something besides woods, Unk Nunk. Too little, said Unk. Why, I'm not so little as I used to be, answered the boy earnestly. I think I can walk as far and as fast through the woods as you can, Unk, and now that nothing grows in our backyard that is good to eat, we must go where there is food. Unk Nunkie made no reply for a time. Then he shut down the window and turned his chair to face the room, for the sun was sinking behind the treetops and it was growing cool. By and by Ojo lighted the fire, and the logs blazed freely in the broad fireplace. The two sat in the firelight a long time, the old white-bearded munchkin and the little boy. Both were thinking. When it grew quite dark outside, Ojo said, Eat your bread, Unk, and then we will go to bed. But Unk Nunkie did not eat the bread. Neither did he go directly to bed. Long after his little nephew was sound asleep in the corner of the room, the old man sat by the fire, thinking. End of Chapter 1 Chapter 2 of The Patchwork Girl of Oz This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. The Patchwork Girl of Oz by L. Frank Baum. Chapter 2 The Crooked Magician Just at dawn next morning Unk Nunkie laid his hand tenderly on Ojo's head and awakened him. Come, he said. Ojo dressed. He wore blue silk stockings, blue knee-pants with gold buckles, a blue ruffled waist, and a jacket of bright blue braided with gold. His shoes were of blue leather and turned up at the toes, which were pointed. His hat had a peaked crown and a flat brim, and around the brim was a row of tiny golden bells that tinkled when he moved. This was the native costume of those who inhabited the Munchkin country of the land of Oz, so Unk Nunkie's dress was much like that of his nephew. Instead of shoes, the old man wore boots with turnover tops, and his blue coat had wide cuffs of gold braid. The boy noticed that his uncle had not eaten the bread, and supposed the old man had not been hungry. Ojo was hungry, though, so he divided the piece of bread upon the table and ate his half for breakfast, washing it down with fresh, cool water from the brook. Unk put the other piece of bread in his jacket pocket, after which he again said, as he walked out through the doorway, Ojo was well pleased. He was dreadfully tired of living all alone in the woods and wanted to travel and see people. For a long time he had wished to explore the beautiful land of Oz in which they lived. When they were outside, Unk simply latched the door and started up the path. No one would disturb their little house, even if anyone came so far into the thick forest while they were gone. At the foot of the mountain that separated the country of the Munchkins from the country of the Gillikins, the path divided. One way led to the left, and the other to the right, straight up the mountain. Unk Nunky took this right-hand path, and Ojo followed without asking why. He knew it would take them to the house of the crooked magician whom he had never seen but who was their nearest neighbor. All the morning they trudged up the mountain path, and at noon Unk and Ojo sat on a fallen tree-trunk and ate the last of the bread which the old Munchkin had placed in his pocket. Then they started on again, and two hours later came in sight of the house of Dr. Pippt. It was a big house, round, as were all the Munchkin houses, and painted blue, which was the distinctive color of the Munchkin country of Oz. There was a pretty garden around the house, where blue trees and blue flowers grew in abundance, and in one place were beds of blue cabbages, blue carrots, and blue lettuce, all of which were delicious to eat. In Dr. Pippt's garden grew bun trees, cake trees, cream puff trees, blue butter cups which yielded excellent blue butter, and a row of chocolate caramel plants. Paths of blue gravel divided the vegetable and flower beds, and a wider path led up to the front door. The place was in a clearing on the mountain, but a little way off was the grim forest which completely surrounded it. Unk knocked at the door of the house, and a chubby, pleasant-faced woman, dressed all in blue, opened it, and greeted the visitors with a smile. Ah, said Ojo, you must be Daymar Galat, the good wife of Dr. Pippt. I am, my dear, and all strangers are welcome to my home. May we see the famous magician, madam? He's very busy just now, she said, shaking her head doubtfully, but come in and let me give you something to eat, for you must have traveled far in order to get to our lonely place. We have, replied Ojo, as he and Unk entered the house. We have come from a far lonelier place than this. A lonelier place, and in the Munchkin country, she exclaimed, then it must be somewhere in the blue forest. It is good Daymar Galat. Dear me, she said, looking at the man, you must be Unk and Unky, known as the Silent One. Then she looked at the boy, and you must be Ojo the Unlucky, she added. Yes, said Unk. I never knew I was called the Unlucky, said Ojo soberly. But it is really a good name for me. Well, remarked the woman, as she bustled around the room and set the table, and brought food from the cupboard. You were Unlucky to live all alone in that dismal forest, which is much worse than the forest around here, but perhaps your luck will change, now you were away from it. If during your travels you can manage to lose that Un at the beginning of your name Unlucky, then you will become Ojo the Lucky, which will be a great improvement. How can I lose that Un, Daymar Galat? I do not know how, but you must keep the matter in mind, and perhaps the chance will come to you, she replied. Ojo had never eaten such a fine meal in all his life. There was a savoury stew, smoking hot, a dish of blue peas, a bowl of sweet milk, of a delicate blue tint, and a blue pudding with blue plums in it. When the visitors had eaten heartily of this fare, the woman said to them, Do you wish to see doctor pipped on business, or for pleasure? Unk shook his head. You're travelling," replied Ojo, and we stopped at your house just to rest and refresh ourselves. I do not think Unk Nunky cares very much to see the famous crooked magician, but for my part I'm curious to look at such a great man. The woman seemed thoughtful. I remember that Unk Nunky and my husband used to be friends many years ago, she said, so perhaps they'll be glad to meet again. The magician is very busy, as I said, but if you'll promise not to disturb him, you may come into his workshop and watch him prepare a wonderful charm. Thank you," replied the boy, much pleased. I would like to do that. She led the way to the great domed hall at the back of the house, which was the magician's workshop. There was a row of windows extending nearly around the sides of the circular room, which rendered the place very light, and there was a back door in addition to the one leading to the front part of the house. Before the row of windows a broad seat was built, and there were some chairs and benches in the room besides. At one end stood a great fireplace, in which a blue log was blazing with a blue flame, and over the fire hung four kettles in a row, all bubbling and steaming at a great rate. The magician was stirring all four of these kettles at the same time, two with his hands and two with his feet. To the latter wooden ladles being strapped, for this man was so very crooked that his legs were as handy as his arms. Unknucky came forward to greet his old friend, but not being able to shake either his hands or his feet, which were all occupied and stirring, he padded the magician's bald head and asked, What? Oh, that's the silent one, remarked Dr. Pippt, without looking up, and he wants to know what I'm making. Well, when it is quite finished, this compound will be the wonderful powder of life, which no one knows how to make but myself. Whenever it is sprinkled on anything, that thing will come once to life, no matter what it is. It takes me several years to make this magic powder, but at this moment I am pleased to say it is nearly done. You see, I am making it for my good wife, Margolot, who wants to use some of it for a purpose of her own. Sit down and make yourself comfortable, Unknucky, and after I've finished my task I will talk to you. You must know, said Margolot, when they were all seated together on the broad window-seat, that my husband foolishly gave away all the powder of life he first made to old Momby the Witch, who used to live in the country of the Gillikans to the north of here. Momby gave to Dr. Pippt a powder of perpetual use in exchange for his powder of life, but she cheated him wickedly, for the powder of youth was no good, and could work no magic at all. Perhaps the powder of life couldn't either, said Ojo. Yes, it is perfection, she declared. The first lot we tested on our glass cat, which not only began to live but has lived ever since. She's somewhere around the house now. A glass cat! exclaimed Ojo, astonished. Yes, she made a very pleasant companion, but admires herself a little more than is considered modest, and she positively refuses to catch mice, explained Margolot. My husband made the cat some pink brains, but they proved to be too high bread in particular for a cat, so she thinks it is undignified for her to catch mice. Also she has a pretty blood-red heart, but it is made of stone, a ruby, I think, and so is rather hard and unfeeling. I think the next glass cat the magician makes will have neither brains nor heart, for then it will not object to catching mice, and may prove of some use to us. What did old Mambi the Witch do with the powder of life your husband gave her? asked the boy. She brought Jack Pumpkinhead to life, for one thing, was the reply. I suppose you've heard of Jack Pumpkinhead. He is now living near the Emerald City, and is a great favourite with the Princess Osma, who rules all the land of Oz. No, I've never heard of him, remarked Ojo. I'm afraid I don't know much about the land of Oz. You see, I've lived all my life with Aunt Nunky, the silent one, and there was no one to tell me anything. That is one reason you are Ojo the Unlucky, said the woman, in a sympathetic tone. The more one knows the luckier he is, for knowledge is the greatest gift in life. But tell me, please, what you intend to do with this new lot of the powder of life which Dr. Pippt is making. He said his wife wanted it for some special purpose. So I do, she answered. I wanted to bring my patchwork girl to life. Oh, a patchwork girl? What is that? Ojo asked, for this seemed even more strange and unusual than a glass cat. I think I must show you my patchwork girl, said Margolot, laughing at the boy's astonishment. For she is rather difficult to explain. But first I will tell you that for many years I have longed for a servant to help me with the housework and to cook the meals and wash the dishes. No servant will come here because the place is so lonely and out of the way, so my clever husband, the crooked magician, proposed that I make a girl out of some sort of material and he would make her live by sprinkling over her the powder of life. This seemed an excellent suggestion and at once Dr. Pippt set to work to make a new batch of his magic powder. He's been at it a long, long while and so I have had plenty of time to make the girl. Yet that task was not so easy as you may suppose. At first I couldn't think what to make her of, but finally in searching through a chest I came across an old patchwork quilt which my grandmother once made when she was young. What is a patchwork quilt? asked Ojo. A bed quilt made of patches of different kinds and colors of cloth, all neatly sewed together. The patches are of all shapes and sizes, so a patchwork quilt is a very pretty and gorgeous thing to look at. Sometimes it is called a crazy quilt because the patches and colors are so mixed up. We never have used my grandmother's many-colored patchwork quilt, handsome as it is, for we Munchkins do not care for any color other than blue, so it has been packed away in this chest for about a hundred years. When I found it I said to myself that it would do nicely for my servant girl, for when she was brought to life she would not be proud nor haughty as the glass cat is, for such a dreadful mixture of colors would discourage her from trying to be as dignified as the blue Munchkins are. Is blue the only respectable color then? inquired Ojo. Yes, for a Munchkin. All our country is blue, you know, but in other parts of ours the people favor different colors. At the Emerald City where our Princess Osma lives, green is the popular color, but all Munchkins prefer blue to anything else, and when my housework girl is brought to life she will find herself to be of so many unpopular colors that she'll never dare be rebellious or impudent, as servants are sometimes liable to be when they are made the same way their mistresses are. Uncle Nunky nodded approval. Good idea, he said, and that was a long speech for Uncle Nunky because it was two words. So I cut up the quilt, continued Mark a lot, and made it a very well-shaped girl which I stuffed with cotton wadding. I will show you what a good job I did, and she went to a tall cupboard and threw open the doors. Then back she came, lugging in her arms the Patchwork girl which she set upon the bench and propped up so that the figure would not tumble over. End of Chapter 2 Chapter 3 of The Patchwork Girl of Oz This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org The Patchwork Girl of Oz by L. Frank Baum Chapter 3 The Patchwork Girl Ojo examined this curious contrivance with wonder. The Patchwork girl was taller than he when she stood upright and her body was plump and rounded because it had been so neatly stuffed with cotton. Mark a lot had first made the girl's form from the Patchwork quilt and then she had dressed it with a Patchwork skirt and an apron with pockets in it using the same gay material throughout. Upon the feet she had sewn a pair of red leather shoes with pointed toes. All the fingers and thumbs of the girl's hands had been carefully formed and stuffed and stitched at the edges with gold plates at the ends to serve as fingernails. She will have to work when she comes to life, said Mark a lot. The head of the Patchwork girl was the most curious part of her. While she waited for her husband to finish making his powder of life, the woman had found ample time to complete the head as her fancy dictated and she realized that a good servant's head must be properly constructed. The hair was of brown yarn and hung down on her neck in several neat braids. Her eyes were two silver suspender buttons, cut from a pair of the magician's old trousers, and they were sewed on with black threads, which formed the pupils of the eyes. Mark a lot had puzzled over the ears for some time, for these were important if the servant was to hear distinctly, but finally she had made them out of thin plates of gold and attached them in place by means of stitches through tiny holes bored in the metal. Gold is the most common metal in the land of Oz, and is used for many purposes because it is soft and pliable. The woman had cut a slit for the Patchwork girl's mouth and sewn two rows of white pearls in it for teeth, using a strip of scarlet plush for her tongue. This mouth, Ojo, considered very artistic and lifelike, and Mark a lot was pleased when the boy praised it. There were almost too many patches on the face of the girl for her to be considered strictly beautiful, for one cheek was yellow and the other red, her chin blue, her forehead purple, and the center, where her nose had been formed and padded, a bright yellow. You ought to have had her face all pink," suggested the boy. I suppose so, but I had no pink cloth, replied the woman. Still, I cannot see as it matters much, for I wish my Patchwork girl to be useful, rather than ornamental. If I get tired looking at her patched face, I can whitewash it. Has she any brains? asked Ojo. No, I forgot all about the brains, exclaimed the woman. I'm glad you reminded me of them, for it is not too late to supply them, by any means. Until she is brought to life, I can do anything I please with this girl. But I must be careful not to give her too much brains, and those she has must be such as are fitted to the station she is to occupy in life. In other words, her brains mustn't be very good. Wrong, said Uncle Nunky. No, I'm sure I'm right about that, returned the woman. He means, explained Ojo, that unless your servant has good brains, she won't know how to obey you properly, nor do the things you ask her to do. Well, that may be true, agreed Margolot. But on the contrary, a servant with too much brains is sure to become independent and high and mighty, and feel above her work. This is a very delicate task, as I said, and I must take care to give the girl just the right quantity of the right sort of brains. I want her to know just enough, but not too much. With this she went to another cupboard, which was filled with shelves. All the shelves were lined with blue glass bottles, neatly labeled by the magician to show what they contained. One whole shelf was marked brain furniture, and the bottles on this shelf were labeled as follows. Obedience, cleverness, judgment, courage, ingenuity, amiability, learning, truth, poise, self-reliance. Let me see, said Margolot, of those qualities she must have obedience, first of all, and she took down the bottle bearing that label and poured from it upon a dish several grains of the contents. Amiability is also good, and truth. She poured into the dish a quantity from each of these bottles. I think that will do, she continued, for the other qualities are not needed in a servant. Uncle Nunky, who with Ojo's stood beside her, touched the bottle marked cleverness. Little, said he. A little cleverness? Well, perhaps you're right, sir, said she, and was about to take down the bottle when the crooked magician suddenly called to her excitedly from the fireplace. Quick, Margolot, come and help me! She ran to her husband's side at once, and helped him lift the four kettles from the fire. Their contents had all boiled away, leaving in the bottom of each kettle a few grains of fine white powder. Very carefully the magician removed this powder, placing it all together in a golden dish, where he mixed it with a golden spoon. When the mixture was complete there was scarcely a handful all told. That, said Dr. Pippt, in a pleased and triumphant tone, is the wonderful powder of life which I alone in the world know how to make. It has taken me nearly six years to prepare these precious grains of dust, but the little heap on that dish is worth the price of a kingdom, and many a king would give all he has to possess it. When it has become cooled I will place it in a small bottle, but meantime I must watch it carefully lest a gust of wind blow it away or scatter it. Unk-nunky, Margolot, and the magician all stood looking at the marvelous powder, but Ojo was more interested just then in the patchwork girl's brains. Thinking at both unfair and unkind to deprive her of any good qualities that were handy, the boy took down every bottle on the shelf and poured some of the contents in Margolot's dish. No one saw him do this, for all were looking at the powder of life, but soon the woman remembered what she had been doing, and came back to the cupboard. Let's see, she remarked, I was about to give my girl a little cleverness, which is the doctor's substitute for intelligence, a quality he has not yet learned how to manufacture. Taking down the bottle of cleverness, she added some of the powder to the heap on the dish. Ojo became a bit uneasy at this, for he had already put quite a lot of the cleverness powder in the dish, but he dared not interfere, and so he comforted himself with the thought that one cannot have too much cleverness. Margolot now carried the dish of brains to the bench. Ripping the seam of the patch on the girl's forehead, she placed the powder within the head, and then sewed up the seam, as neatly and securely as before. My girl is all ready for your powder of life, my dear," she said to her husband, but the magician replied. This powder must not be used before to-morrow morning, but I think it is now cool enough to be bottled. He selected a small gold bottle, with a pepper-box top, so that the powder might be sprinkled on any object through the small holes. Very carefully he placed the powder of life in the gold bottle, and then locked it up in a drawer of his cabinet. At last, said he, rubbing his hands together gleefully, I have ample leisure for a good talk with my old friend, Unk Nunky, so let us sit down cosily and enjoy ourselves. After stirring those four kettles for six years, I am glad to have a little rest. You will have to do most of the talking, said Ojo, for Unk is called a silent one, and uses few words. I know, but that renders your uncle a most agreeable companion and gossip, declared Dr. Pippt. Most people talk too much, so it is a relief to find one who talks too little. Ojo looked at the magician with much awe and curiosity. Don't you find it very annoying to be so crooked? he asked. No, I am quite proud of my person, was the reply. I suppose I am the only crooked magician in all the world. Some others are accused of being crooked, but I am the only genuine. He was really very crooked, and Ojo wondered how he managed to do so many things with such a twisted body. When he sat down upon a crooked chair that had been made to fit him, one knee was under his chin, and the other near the small of his back, but he was a cheerful man, and his face bore a pleasant and agreeable expression. I am not allowed to perform magic, except for my own amusement, he told his visitors, as he lighted a pipe with a crooked stem, and began to smoke. Too many people were working magic in the land of Oz, and so our lovely Princess Osma put a stop to it. I think she was quite right. There were several wicked witches who caused a lot of trouble, but now they are all out of business, and only the great sorceress Glinda the Good is permitted to practice her arts, which never harm anybody. The Wizard of Oz, who used to be a humbug and knew no magic at all, has been taking lessons of Glinda, and I'm told he is getting to be a pretty good wizard, but he is merely the assistant of the great sorceress. Now I have the right to make a servant girl for my wife, you know, or a glass cat to catch our mice, which she refuses to do, but I am forbidden to work magic for others, or to use it as a profession. Magic must be a very interesting study, said Ojo. It truly is, asserted the magician. In my time I have performed some magical feats that were worthy of the skill of Glinda the Good. For instance, there's the powder of life, and my liquid of petrifaction, which is contained in that bottle on the shelf yonder, over the window. What does the liquid of petrifaction do? inquired the boy. Turns everything it touches to solid marble. It's an invention of my own, and I find it very useful. Once two of those dreadful calidars, with bodies like bears and heads like tigers, came here from the forest to attack us, but I sprinkled some of that liquid on them, and instantly they turned to marble. I now use them as ornamental statuary in my garden. This table looks to you like wood, and once it really was wood, but I sprinkled a few drops of the liquid of petrifaction on it, and now it is marble. It will never break, nor wear out. Fine, said Unk Nungi, wagging his head and stroking his long grey beard. Dear me, what a chatterbox you're getting to be, Unk! remarked the magician, who was pleased with the compliment. But just then there came a scratching at the back door, and a shrill voice cried, Let me in! Hurry up, can't you let me in! Margolot got up and went to the door. Ask like a good cat, then, she said. Meow! There! Does that suit your royal highness? asked the voice, in scornful accents. Yes, that's proper cat-talk, declared the woman, and opened the door. At once a cat entered, came to the centre of the room, and stopped short at the side of strangers. Oh, Joe and Unk Nungi both stared at it with wide open eyes, for surely no such curious creature had ever existed before, even in the land of Oz. End of Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Of The Patchwork Girl of Oz This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. The Patchwork Girl of Oz by L. Frank Baum. Chapter 4. The Glass Cat The cat was made of glass, so clear and transparent that you could see through it as easily as through a window. In the top of its head, however, was a mass of delicate pink balls which looked like jewels, and it had a heart made of a blood-red ruby. The eyes were two large emeralds, but aside from these colours all the rest of the animal was clear glass, and it had a spun glass tail that was really beautiful. Well, Doc Pippet, do you mean to introduce us or not? demanded the cat, in a tone of annoyance. Seems to me you're forgetting your manners. Excuse me, return the magician. This is Uncle Nungi, the descendant of the former kings of the Munchkins, before this country became a part of the land of Oz. He needs a haircut. observed the cat, washing its face. True, replied Unk, with a low chuckle of amusement. But he has lived alone in the heart of the forest for many years, the magician explained, and although that is a barbarous country, there are no barbers there. Who is the dwarf? asked the cat. That is not a dwarf, but a boy, answered the magician. You've never seen a boy before. He is now small because he is young. With more ears he will grow big and become as tall as Unk Nungi. Oh, is that magic? the glass animal inquired. Yes, but it is nature's magic, which is more wonderful than any art known to man. For instance, my magic made you and made you live, and it was a poor job because you are useless and a bother to me, but I can't make you grow. You will always be the same size and the same saucy, inconsiderate glass cat with pink brains and a hard ruby heart. No one can regret more than I the fact that you made me, asserted the cat, crouching upon the floor and slowly swaying its fun glass tail from side to side. Your world is a very uninteresting place. I've wandered through your gardens and in the forest until I'm tired of it all, and when I come into the house the conversation of your fat wife and of yourself bores me dreadfully. That is because I gave you different brains from those we ourselves possess and much too good for a cat, returned Dr. Pippt. Can't you take them out then and replace them with pebbles so that I won't feel above my station in life? asked the cat pleadingly. Perhaps so. I'll try it after I've brought the Patchwork Girl to life, he said. The cat walked up to the bench on which the Patchwork Girl reclined and looked at her attentively. Are you going to make that dreadful thing live? she asked. The magician nodded. It is intended to be my wife's servant-maid, he said. When she is alive she will do all her work and mine the house, but you are not to order her around, bungle, as you do us. You must treat the Patchwork Girl respectfully. I won't. I couldn't respect such a bundle of scraps under any circumstances. If you don't there will be more scraps than you will like," cried Margolot angrily. Why didn't you make her pretty to look at? asked the cat. You made me pretty, very pretty indeed, and I love to watch my pink brains roll around when they're working and to see my precious red heart beat. She went to a long mirror as she said this and stood before it, looking at herself with an air of much pride. But that poor Patch thing will hate herself when she's once alive," continued the cat. If I were you I'd use her for a mop and make another servant that is prettier. You have a perverted taste," snapped Margolot, much annoyed at its frank criticism. I think the Patchwork Girl is beautiful, considering what she's made of. Even the rainbow hasn't as many colors and you must admit that the rainbow is a pretty thing. The glass cat yawned and stretched herself upon the floor. Have your own way," she said. I'm sorry for the Patchwork Girl. That's all. Ojo and Unknunkey slept that night in the magician's house, and the boy was glad to stay because he was anxious to see the Patchwork Girl brought to life. The glass cat was also a wonderful creature to little Ojo, who had never seen or known anything of magic before, although he had lived in the fairyland of Oz ever since he was born. Back there in the woods nothing unusual ever happened. Unknunkey, who might have been King the Munchkins, had not his people united with all the other countries of Oz, in acknowledging Osma as their sole ruler, had retired into this forgotten forest nook with his baby nephew, and they had lived all alone there. Only that the neglected garden had failed to grow food for them they would always have lived in the solitary blue forest, but now they had started out to mingle with other people, and the first place they came to proved so interesting that Ojo could scarcely sleep a wink at night. Margolot was an excellent cook, and gave them a fine breakfast. While they were all engaged in eating, the good woman said, This is the last meal I shall have to cook for some time, for right after breakfast Dr. Pippt has promised to bring my new servant to life. I shall let her wash the breakfast dishes and sweep and dust the house. What a relief it will be. It will indeed relieve you of much drudgery, said the Magician. By the way, Margolot, I thought I saw you getting some brains from the cupboard while I was busy with my kettles. What qualities have you given your new servant? Only those that a humble servant requires, she answered, I do not wish her to feel above her station as the glass-cat does, that would make her discontented and unhappy, for of course she must always be a servant. Ojo was somewhat disturbed as he listened to this, and the boy began to fear that he had done wrong in adding all those different qualities of brains to the lot Margolot had prepared for the servant. But it was too late now for regret, since all the brains were securely sewn up inside the patchwork girl's head. He might have confessed what he had done, and thus allowed Margolot and her husband to change the brains, but he was afraid of incurring their anger. He believed that Ankh had seen him add to the brains, and Ankh had not said a word against it, but then Ankh never did say anything unless it was absolutely necessary. As soon as breakfast was over they all went into the magician's big workshop where the glass-cat was lying before the mirror, and the patchwork girl lay limp and lifeless upon the bench. Now, then, said Dr. Pipton, a brisk tone, we shall perform one of the greatest feats of magic possible to man, even in this marvellous land of ours. In no other country could it be done at all. I think we ought to have a little music while the patchwork girl comes to life. It is pleasant to reflect that the first sounds her golden ears will hear will be delicious music. As he spoke he went to a phonograph, which screwed fast to a small table and wound up the spring of the instrument and adjusted the big gold horn. The music my servant will usually hear, remarked Margolot, will be my orders to do her work, but I see no harm in allowing her to listen to this unseen band while she wakens to her first realization of life. My orders will beat the band afterward. The phonograph was now playing a stirring march tune, and the magician unlocked his cabinet and took out the gold bottle containing the powder of life. They all bent over the bench, on which the patchwork girl reclined. Uncle Nunky and Margolot stood behind near the windows, Ojo at one side, and the magician in front, where he would have freedom to sprinkle the powder. The glass-cat came near too, curious to watch the important scene. Already? asked Dr. Pippt. All is ready! answered his wife. So the magician leaned over and shook from the bottle some grains of the wonderful powder, and they fell directly on the patchwork girl's head and arms. End of Chapter 4 Chapter 5 of The Patchwork Girl of Oz This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. The Patchwork Girl of Oz by L. Frank Baum Chapter 5 A Terrible Accident It will take a few minutes for this powder to do its work, remarked the magician, sprinkling the body up and down with much care. But suddenly the Patchwork Girl threw up one arm, which knocked the bottle of powder from the crooked man's hand and sent it flying across the room. Uncle Nunky and Margolot were so startled that they both leaped backward and bumped together, and Uncle's head joggled the shelf above them and upset the bottle containing the liquid of petrification. The magician uttered such a wild cry that Ojo jumped away and the Patchwork Girl sprang after him and clasped her stuffed arms around him in terror. The glass cat snarled and hid under the table, and so it was that when the powerful liquid of petrification was spilled it fell only upon the wife of the magician and the uncle of Ojo. With these two the charm worked promptly. They stood motionless and stiff as marble statues in exactly the positions they were in when the liquid struck them. Ojo pushed the Patchwork Girl away and ran to Uncle Nunky, filled with a terrible fear for the only friend and protector he had ever known. When he grasped Uncle's hand it was cold and hard. Even the long gray beard was solid marble. The crooked magician was dancing around the room in a frenzy of despair, calling upon his wife to forgive him, to speak to him, to come to life again. The Patchwork Girl, quickly recovering from her fright, now came nearer and looked from one to another of the people with deep interest. Then she looked at herself and laughed. Noticing the mirror she stood before it and examined her extraordinary features with amazement, her button eyes, pearl-bead teeth, and puffy nose. Then, addressing her reflection in the glass, she exclaimed, We but there's a gaudy dame, makes a paint-box blush with shame, razzle dazzle fizzle fazzle, how do you miss what's your name? She bowed, and the reflection bowed. Then she laughed again, long and merrily, and the glass cat crept out from under the table and said, I don't blame you for laughing at yourself, aren't you horrid? Horrid, she replied, why I'm thoroughly delightful. I'm an original, if you please, and therefore incomparable. Of all the comic, absurd, rare, and amusing creatures the world contains, I must be the supreme freak. Who but poor Margolot could have managed to invent such an unreasonable being as I? But I'm glad, I'm awfully glad, that I'm just what I am, and nothing else. Be quiet, will you? cried the frantic magician. Be quiet and let me think, if I don't think I shall go mad. Think ahead, said the patchwork girl, steeding herself in a chair. Think all you want to, I don't mind. Gee, but I'm tired of playing that tune. Called the phonograph, speaking through its horn in a brazen, scratchy voice. If you don't mind, pipped old boy, I'll cut it out and take a rest. The magician looked gloomily at the music machine. What dreadful luck, he wailed despondently. The powder of life must have fallen on the phonograph. He went up to it and found that the gold bottle that contained the precious powder had dropped upon the stand and scattered its life-giving grains over the machine. The phonograph was very much alive and began dancing a jig with the legs of the table to which it was attached, and this dance so annoyed Dr. Pipps that he kicked the thing into a corner and pushed a bench against it to hold it quiet. You were bad enough before, said the magician resentfully, but a live phonograph is enough to drive every sane person in the land of Oz Stark crazy. No wing-salt, please. Answered the phonograph in a surly tone. You did it, my boy. Don't blame me. You bungled everything, Dr. Pipped, added the glass-cat contemptuously. Except me, said the patchwork girl, jumping up to whirl merrily around the room. I think, said Ojo, almost ready to cry through grief over Uncle Nunky's sad fate. It must all be my fault in some way. I'm called Ojo the Unlucky, you know. That's nonsense, Kitty, retorted the patchwork girl cheerfully. No one can be unlucky who has the intelligence to direct his own actions. The unlucky ones are those who beg for a chance to think, like poor Dr. Pipped here. What's the row about, anyway, Mr. Magic Maker? The liquid of Petra Faction has accidentally fallen upon my dear wife and Uncle Nunky and turned them into marble, you sadly replied. Well, why don't you sprinkle some of that powder on them and bring them to life again? Asked the patchwork girl. The magician gave a jump. Why, I hadn't thought of that. He joyfully cried and grabbed up the golden bottle, with which he ran to margolot. Said the patchwork girl. Higgledy-piggledy-dee, what fools magicians be? His head's so thick he can't think quick, so he takes advice from me. Standing upon the bench, for he was so crooked he could not reach the top of his wife's head in any other way, Dr. Pipped began shaking the bottle. But not a grain of powder came out. He pulled off the cover, glanced within, and then threw the bottle from him with a wail of despair. Gone, gone, every bit gone, he cried. Wasted on that miserable phonograph when it might have saved my dear wife. Then the magician bowed his head on his crooked arms and began to cry. Ojo was sorry for him. He went up to the sorrowful man and said softly, You can make more powder of life, Dr. Pipped. Yes, but it will take me six years, six long, weary years of stirring four kettles with both feet and both hands. Was the agonized reply. Six years while poor margolot stands watching me as a marble image. Can't anything else be done? Asked the patchwork girl. The magician shook his head. Then he seemed to remember something and looked up. There is one other compound that would destroy the magic spell of the liquid of petrifaction and restore my wife and Uncle Nunky to life. Said he. It may be hard to find the things I need to make this magic compound, but if they were found, I could do in an instant what will otherwise take six long, weary years of stirring kettles with both hands and both feet. All right, let's find the things then, suggested the patchwork girl. That seems a lot more sensible than those stirring times with the kettles. That's the idea, scraps, said the glass-cat approvingly. I'm glad to find you have decent brains. Mine are exceptionally good. You can see them work. They're pink. Scraps, repeated the girl. Did you call me Scraps? Is that my name? I believe my poor wife had intended to name you Angeline, said the magician. But I'd like Scraps best, she replied with a laugh. It fits me better, for my patchwork is all scraps and nothing else. Thank you for naming me Miss Cat. Have you any name of your own? I have a foolish name that Margolot once gave me, but which is quite undignified for one of my importance, answered the cat. She called me Bungle. Yes, said the magician. You were a sad bungle, taken all in all. I was wrong to make you as I did, for a more useless, conceited, and brittle thing never before existed. I'm not so brittle as you think, retorted the cat. I've been alive a good many years, for Dr. Pippt experimented on me with the first magic powder of life he ever made, and so far I've never broken or cracked or chipped any part of me. You seem to have a chip on your shoulder, laughed the patchwork girl, and the cat went to the mirror to see. Tell me, pleaded Ojo, speaking to the crooked magician, what must we find to make the compound that will save Unki? First, was the reply, I must have a six-leaved clover that can only be found in the green country around the Emerald City, and six-leaved clovers are very scarce, even there. I'll find it for you, promised Ojo. The next thing, continued the magician, is the left wing of a yellow butterfly. That color can only be found in the yellow country of the Winkies, west of the Emerald City. I'll find it, declared Ojo. Is that all? Oh no, I'll get my book of recipes and see what comes next. Saying this, the magician unlocked a drawer of his cabinet and drew out a small book covered with blue leather. Looking through the pages he found the recipe he wanted and said, I must have a gill of water from a dark well. What kind of a well is that, sir? asked the boy. One where the light of day never penetrates, the water must be put in a gold bottle and brought to me without any light ever reaching it. I'll get the water from the dark well, said Ojo. Then I must have three hairs from the tip of a woozy's tail and a drop of oil from a live man's body. Ojo looked grave at this. What is a woozy, please? he inquired. Some sort of an animal. I've never seen one, so I can't describe it, replied the magician. If I can find a woozy, I'll get the hairs from its tail, said Ojo. But is there ever any oil in a man's body? The magician looked in the book again to make sure. That's what the recipe calls for, he replied. And of course we must get everything that is called for or the charm won't work. The book doesn't say blood, it says oil, and there must be oil somewhere in a live man's body or the book wouldn't ask for it. All right, returned Ojo trying not to feel discouraged. I'll try to find it. The magician looked at the little munchkin boy in a doubtful way and said, All this will mean a long journey for you, perhaps several long journeys, for you must search through several of the different countries of Oz in order to get the things I need. I know it, sir, but I must do my best to save Uncle Nunky. And also my poor wife, Margolot. If you save one, you will save the other, for both stand there together, and the same compound will restore them both to life. Do the best you can, Ojo. And while you are gone, I shall begin the six years' job of making a new batch of the powder of life. Then if you should unluckily fail to secure any one of the things needed, I will have lost no time. But if you succeed, you must return here as quickly as you can, and that will save me much tiresome stirring of four kettles with both feet and both hands. I will start on my journey at once, sir, said the boy, and I will go with you," declared the patchwork girl. No, no, exclaimed the magician. You have no right to leave this house. You were only a servant and have not been discharged. Scraps, who had been dancing up and down the room, stopped and looked at him. What is a servant? she asked. One who serves, a sort of slave, he explained. Very well, said the patchwork girl. I'm going to serve you and your wife by helping Ojo find the things you need. You need a lot, you know, such as are not easily found. It is true, sighed Dr. Pippt. I am well aware that Ojo has undertaken a serious task. Scraps laughed and resuming her dance, she said. Here's a job for a boy of brains, a drop of oil from a live man's veins, a six-leaved clover, three nice hairs from a woozy's tail, the book declares, are needed for the magic spell and water from a pitch-dark well. The yellow wing of a butterfly, to find, must Ojo also try, and if he gets them without harm, Doc Pippt will make the magic charm, but if he doesn't get them, Ankh will always stand a marble chunk. The magician looked at her thoughtfully. Poor Magalot must have given you some of the quality of poise by mistake, he said. And if that is true, I didn't make a very good article when I prepared it, or else you got an overdose, or an underdose. However, I believe I shall let you go with Ojo, for my poor wife will not need your services until she is restored to life. Also I think you may be able to help the boy, for your head seems to contain some thoughts I did not expect to find in it, but be very careful of yourself, for you are a souvenir of my dear Magalot. Try not to get ripped, or your stuffing may fall out. One of your eyes seems loose and you may have to sew it on tighter. If you talk too much, you'll wear out your scarlet plush tongue, which ought to have been hemmed on the edges. And remember, you belong to me, and must return here as soon as your mission is accomplished. I'm going with scraps in Ojo, announced the glass-cat. You can't, said the magician. Why not? You'd get broken in no time, and you couldn't be a bit of use to the boy and the patchwork girl. I beg to differ with you. Return the cat in a haughty tone. Three heads are better than two, and my pink brains are beautiful. You can see him work. Well, go along, said the magician irritably. You're only an annoyance anyhow, and I'm glad to get rid of you. Thank you for nothing then. Answered the cat stiffly. Dr. Pippt took a small basket from a cupboard and packed several things in it. Then he handed it to Ojo. Here is some food and a bundle of charms, he said. It is all I can give you, but I am sure you will find friends on your journey who will assist you in your search. Take care of the patchwork girl and bring her safely back, for she ought to prove useful to my wife. As for the glass cat, properly named Bungle, if she bothers you I now give you my permission to break her in two, for she is not respectful and does not obey me. I made a mistake in giving her the pink brains, you see. Then Ojo went to Unk Nunky and kissed the old man's marble face very tenderly. I'm going to try to save you, Unk, he said, just as if the marble image could hear him. And then he shook the crooked hand of the crooked magician, who was already busy hanging the four kettles in the fireplace, and picking up his basket, left the house. The patchwork girl followed him, and after them came the glass cat. The Patchwork Girl of Oz by L. Frank Baum Chapter 6 The Journey Ojo had never traveled before, and so he only knew that the path down the mountainside led into the open Munchkin Country, where large numbers of people dwelled. Scraps was quite new and not supposed to know anything of the land of Oz, while the glass cat admitted she had never wandered very far away from the magician's house. There was only one path before them at the beginning, so they could not miss their way, and for a time they walked through the thick forest in silent thought, each one impressed with the importance of the adventure they had undertaken. Suddenly the Patchwork Girl laughed. It was funny to see her laugh, because her cheeks wrinkled up, her nose tipped, her silver button eyes twinkled, and her mouth curled at the corners in a comical way. "'Has something pleased you?' asked Ojo, who was feeling solemn and joyless, through thinking upon his uncle's sad fate.' "'Yes,' she answered. "'Your world pleases me, for it's a queer world, and life in it is queer as still.' "'Here am I, made from an old bed quilt and intended to be a slave to Margolot, rendered free as air by an accident that none of you could foresee. I'm enjoying life and seeing the world, while a woman who made me a standing helpless as a block of wood. That isn't funny enough to laugh at, I don't know what is!' "'You're not seeing much of the world yet, my poor innocent scraps,' remarked the cat. "'The world doesn't consist wholly of the trees that are on all sides of us.' "'But they're part of it, and aren't they pretty trees?' returned scraps, bobbing her head until her brown yarn curls fluttered in the breeze. "'Growing between them I can see lovely ferns and wildflowers and soft green mosses. "'Your world is half as beautiful, I shall be glad I'm alive.' "'I don't know what the rest of the world is like, I'm sure,' said the cat. "'But I mean to find out.' "'I have never been out of the forest,' Ojo added. "'But to me the trees are gloomy and sad, and the wildflowers seem lonesome. "'It must be nicer where there are no trees, and there is room for lots of people to live together.' "'I wonder if any of the people we shall meet will be as splendid as I am,' said the patchwork girl. "'All I have seen so far have pale, colorless skins and clothes as blue as the country they live in. "'While I am of many gorgeous colors, face and body and clothes, "'that is why I am bright and contented, Ojo, while you are blue and sad.' "'I think I made a mistake in giving you so many sorts of brains,' observed the boy. "'Perhaps, as the magician said, you have an overdose, and they may not agree with you.' "'What had you to do with my brains?' asked scraps. "'A lot,' replied Ojo. "'Old Margalot meant to give you only a few, just enough to keep you going. "'But when she wasn't looking, I added a good many more of the best kinds I could find in the magician's cupboard.' "'Thanks,' said the girl, dancing along the path ahead of Ojo and then dancing back to his side. "'If a few brains are good, many brains must be better.' "'But they ought to be evenly balanced,' said the boy, "'and I had no time to be careful. "'From the way you're acting, I guess the dose was badly mixed.' "'Scraps hasn't enough brains to hurt her, so don't worry,' remarked the cat, "'which was trotting along in a very dainty and graceful manner. "'The only brains worth considering are mine, which are pink. You can see them work.' "'After walking a long time, they came to a little brook that trickled across the path, "'and here Ojo sat down to rest and eat something from his basket. "'He found that the magician had given him part of a loaf of bread and a slice of cheese. "'He broke off some of the bread and was surprised to find the loaf just as large as it was before. "'It was the same way with the cheese. However much he broke off from the slice, "'it remained exactly the same size.' "'Ah!' said he, nodding wisely. "'That's magic. "'Your pipped has enchanted the bread and the cheese, so it will last me all through my journey. "'However much I eat.' "'Why do you put those things into your mouth?' asked Scraps, gazing at him in astonishment. "'Do you need more stuffing? Then why don't you use cotton such as I am stuffed with?' "'I don't need that kind,' said Ojo. "'But a mouth is to talk with, isn't it?' "'It is also to eat with,' replied the boy. "'If I didn't put food into my mouth and eat it, I would get hungry and starve.' "'Ah! I didn't know that,' she said. "'Give me some!' Ojo handed her a bit of the bread and she put it in her mouth. "'One-neth!' she asked, scarcely able to speak. "'Chew it and swallow it,' said the boy.' Scraps tried that. Her pearl teeth were unable to chew the bread and beyond her mouth there was no opening. Being unable to swallow, she threw away the bread and left. "'I must get hungry and starve for I can't eat,' she said. "'Neither can I,' announced the cat. "'But I'm not fool enough to try. "'Can't you understand that you and I are superior people and not mid like these poor humans?' "'Why should I understand that or anything else?' asked the girl. "'Don't bother my head by asking conundrums. "'I beg of you. Just let me discover myself in my own way.' With this she began amusing herself by leaping across the brook and back again. "'Be careful or you'll fall in the water,' warned Ojo. "'Never mind.' "'You'd better. If you get wet you'll be soggy and can't walk. "'Your colors might run too,' he said. "'Don't my colors run whenever I run,' she asked. "'Not in the way I mean. If they get wet the reds and greens and yellows and purples of your patches might run into each other and become just a blur. No color at all, you know.' "'Then,' said the patchwork girl, "'I'll be careful, for if I spoiled my splendid colors I would cease to be beautiful.' "'Pah!' sneered the glass-cat. "'Such colors are not beautiful. They're ugly and in bad taste. "'Please notice that my body has no color at all. "'I'm transparent except for my exquisite red heart and my lovely pink brains. "'You can see them work.' "'Shoo, shoo, shoo!' cried Scraps, dancing around and laughing. "'And your horrid green eyes, Miss Bungle. "'You can't see your eyes, but we can. "'And I notice you're very proud of what little color you have. "'Shoo, Miss Bungle, shoo, shoo! "'If you were all colors and many colors as I am "'you'd be too stuck up for anything.' "'She leaped over the cat and back again, "'and the startled Bungle crept close to a tree to escape her. "'This made Scraps laugh more heartily than ever, and she said, "'Woo-de-de-loo! The cat has lost her shoe! "'Her tootsie's bare, but she don't care, so what's the odds to you?' "'Dear me, Ojo,' said the cat. "'Don't you think the creature is a little bit crazy?' "'It may be,' he answered with a puzzled look. "'If she continues her insults, I'll scratch off her suspender-button eyes,' declared the cat. "'Don't quarrel, please,' pleaded the boy, rising to resume the journey. "'Let us be good comrades, and as happy and cheerful as possible, "'for we are likely to meet with plenty of trouble on our way. "'It was nearly sundown when they came to the edge of the forest "'and saw spread out before them a delightful landscape. "'There were broad blue fields stretching for miles over the valley, "'which was dotted everywhere with pretty blue-domed houses, "'none of which, however, was very near to the place where they stood. "'Just at the point where the path left the forest stood a tiny house "'covered with leaves from the trees, "'and before this stood a munchkin man with an ax in his hand. "'He seemed very much surprised when Ojo and Scraps and the glass cat "'came out of the woods, but as the patchwork girl approached "'nearer, he sat down upon a bench and laughed so hard "'that he could not speak for a long time. "'This man was a woodchopper and lived all alone in the little house. "'He had bushy blue whiskers and merry blue eyes, "'and his blue clothes were quite old and worn.' "'Mercy me!' exclaimed the woodchopper "'when at last he could stop laughing. "'Who would think such a funny harlequin lived in the land of Oz? "'Where did you come from, crazy quilt?' "'Do you mean me?' asked the patchwork girl. "'Of course,' he replied. "'You misjudged my ancestry. "'I'm not a crazy quilt, I'm patchwork,' she said. "'There's no difference,' he replied, beginning to laugh again. "'When my old grandmother sewed such things together, "'she calls it a crazy quilt. "'But I never thought such a jumble could come to life.' "'It was the magic powder that did it,' explained Ojo. "'Oh, then you have come from the crooked magician on the mountain. "'I might have known it for... "'Well, I declare, here's a glass cat!' "'But the magician will get in trouble for this. "'It's against the law for anyone to work magic "'except Glinda the Good and the Royal Wizard of Oz. "'If you people, or things, or glass spectacles, "'or crazy quilts, or whatever you are, "'go near the Emerald City, you'll be arrested.' "'We're going there anyhow,' declared Scraps, "'sitting upon the bench and swinging her stuffed legs. "'If any of us takes a rest, we'll be arrested, sure, "'and get no restitution, because the rest we must endure.' "'I see,' said the woodchopper, nodding. "'You're as crazy as the crazy quilt you're made of.' "'She really is crazy,' remarked the glass cat. "'But that isn't to be wondered at when you remembered "'how many different things she's made of. "'For my part, I made of pure glass, "'except my jewel heart and my pretty pink brains.' "'Did you notice my brain, stranger? "'You can see them work?' "'So I can,' replied the woodchopper. "'But I can't say that they accomplished much. "'A glass cat is a useless sort of thing, "'but a patchwork girl is really useful. "'She makes me laugh, and laughter is the best thing in life. "'There was once a woodchopper, a friend of mine, "'who was made all of tin, and I used to laugh every time I saw him.' "'A tin woodchopper,' said Ojo. "'That is strange.' "'My friend wasn't always tin,' said the man. "'But he was careless with his axe and used to chop himself very badly. "'Whenever he lost an arm or a leg, he had it replaced with tin, "'so after a while he was all tin.' "'And could he chop wood then?' asked the boy. "'He could if he didn't rust his tin joints. "'But one day he met Dorothy in the forest "'and went with her to the Emerald City where he made his fortune. "'He is now one of the favorites of Princess Osma "'and she has made him Emperor of the Winkies, a country where all is yellow.' "'Who is Dorothy?' inquired the patchwork girl. "'A little maid who used to live in Kansas but is now a princess of Oz. "'She is Osma's best friend,' they say, and lives with her in the royal palace.' "'Is Dorothy made of tin?' inquired Ojo. "'Is she patchwork like me?' inquired scraps. "'No,' said the man. "'Dorothy is flesh just as I am. "'I know of only one tin person and that is Nick Chopper, the tin woodman, "'and there will never be but one patchwork girl for any magician that sees you "'will refuse to make another one like you.' "'I suppose we shall see the tin woodman "'for we are going to the country of the Winkies,' said the boy. "'What for?' asked the woodchopper. "'To get the left wing of a yellow butterfly.' "'It is a long journey,' declared the man. "'And you will go through lonely parts of Oz and cross rivers "'and traverse dark forests before you get there.' "'Suits me all right,' said scraps. "'I'll get a chance to see the country.' "'You're crazy, girl. "'Better crawl into a rag-bag and hide there "'or give yourself to some little girl to play with. "'Those who travel are likely to meet trouble. "'That's why I stay at home.' The woodchopper then invited them all to stay the night at his little hut, but they were anxious to get on and so left him and continued along the path, which was broader now and more distinct. They expected to reach some other house before it grew dark, but the twilight was brief and Ocho soon began to fear they had made a mistake in leaving the woodchopper. "'I can scarcely see the path,' he said at last. "'Can you see it, scraps?' "'No,' replied the patchwork girl, who was holding fast to the boy's arm so he could guide her. "'I can see,' declared the glass-cat. "'My eyes are better than yours and my pink brains. "'Never mind your pink brains, please,' said Ocho hastily. "'Just run ahead and show us the way. "'Wait a minute, and I'll tie a string to you, for then you can lead us.' He got a string from his pocket and tied it around the cat's neck, and after that the creature guided them along the path. They had proceeded in this way for about an hour when a twinkling blue light appeared ahead of them. "'Good! There's a house at last,' cried Ocho. "'When we reach it the good people will surely welcome us and give us a night's lodging.' But however far they walked the light seemed to get no nearer so by and by the cat stopped short, saying, "'I think the light is travelling, too, and we shall never be able to catch up with it. "'But here is a house by the roadside, so why go farther?' "'Where is the house, bungle?' "'Just here beside us, scraps.' Ocho was now able to see a small house near the pathway. It was dark and silent, but the boy was tired and wanted to rest, so he went up to the door and knocked. "'Who is there?' cried the voice from within. "'I am Ocho the Unlucky, and with me are Miss Scrap's patchwork and the glass cat,' he replied. "'What do you want?' asked the voice. "'A place to sleep,' said Ocho. "'Come in then, but don't make any noise, and you must go directly to bed,' returned the voice. Ocho unlatched the door and entered. It was very dark inside and he could see nothing at all, but the cat exclaimed, "'Why, there's no one here.' "'There must be,' said the boy. Someone spoke to me. "'I can see everything in the room,' replied the cat. "'And no one is present but ourselves. But here are three beds all made up, so we may as well go to sleep.' "'What is sleep?' inquired the patchwork girl. "'It's what you do when you go to bed,' said Ocho. "'But why do you go to bed?' persisted the patchwork girl. "'Here, here. You are making altogether too much noise,' cried the voice they had heard before. "'Keep quiet, strangers, and go to bed.' The cat, which could see in the dark, looked sharply around for the owner of the voice, but could discover no one, although the voice had seemed close beside them. She arched her back a little and seemed afraid. Then she whispered to Ocho, "'Come,' and led him to a bed. With his hands the boy felt of the bed and found it was big and soft, with feather pillows and plenty of blanket. So he took off his shoes and hat and crept into the bed. Then the cat led scraps to another bed, and the patchwork girl was puzzled to know what to do with it. "'Lie down and keep quiet,' whispered the cat, warningly. "'Can't I sing?' asked scraps. "'No.' "'Can't I whistle?' asked scraps. "'No. "'Can't I dance till morning if I want to?' asked scraps. "'You must keep quiet,' said the cat in a soft voice. "'I don't want to,' replied the patchwork girl, speaking as loudly as usual. "'What right of you to order me around? If I want to talk or yell or whistle?' Before she could say anything more an unseen hand seized her firmly and threw her out of the door, which closed behind her with a sharp slam. She found herself bumping and rolling in the road, and when she got up and tried to open the door of the house again, she found it locked. "'What has happened to scraps?' asked Ojo. "'Never mind. Let's go to sleep, or something will happen to us,' answered the glass cat. So Ojo snuggled down in his bed and fell asleep, and he was so tired that he never wakened until broad daylight. End of Chapter 6 Recording by Miriam Esther Goldman When the boy opened his eyes the next morning, he looked carefully around the room. These small munchkin houses seldom had more than one room in them. That in which Ojo now found himself had three beds sit all in a row on one side of it. The glass cat lay asleep on one bed. Ojo was in the second, and the third was neatly made up and smooth for the day. On the other side of the room was a round table in which breakfast was already placed, smoking hot. Only one chair was drawn up to the table, where a place was set for one person. No one seemed to be in the room except the boy and Bungle. Ojo got up and put on his shoes. Finding a toilet stand at the head of his bed, he washed his face and hands and brushed his hair. Then he went to the table and said, "'I wonder if this is my breakfast?' "'Eat it!' commanded a voice at his side, so near that Ojo jumped. No person could he see. He was hungry and the breakfast was good, so he sat down and ate all he wanted. Then, rising, he took his hat and wakened the glass cat. "'Come on, Bungle!' said he. "'We must go!' he cast another glance about the room and, speaking to the air, he said, "'Whoever lives here has been kind to me and I'm much obliged. There was no answer, so he took his basket and went out the door, the cat following him. In the middle of the path sat the patchwork girl, playing with pebbles she had picked up. "'Oh, there you are!' she exclaimed cheerfully. "'I thought you were never coming out. It has been daylight a long time.' "'What did you do all night?' asked the boy. "'Sit here and watch the stars and the moon,' she replied. "'They're interesting. I never saw them before, you know.' "'Of course not,' said Ojo. "'You are crazy to act so badly and get thrown out doors,' remarked Bungle, as they renewed their journey. "'That's all right,' subscrafts. "'If I hadn't been thrown out, I wouldn't have seen the stars nor the big gray wolf.' "'What wolf?' inquired Ojo. "'The one that came to the door of the house three times during the night. "'I don't see why that should be,' said the boy thoughtfully. "'There was plenty to eat in that house, for I had a fine breakfast and I slept in a nice bed.' "'Don't you feel tired?' asked the patchwork girl, noticing that the boy yawned. "'Why, yes, I'm tired, as I was last night, and yet I slept very well. "'And aren't you hungry?' "'It's strange,' replied Ojo. "'I had a good breakfast and yet I think I'll now eat some of my crackers and cheese.' "'Scraps danced up and down the path,' then she sang. "'Kizzle, kazle, core. "'The wolf is at the door. "'There's nothing to eat but a bone without meat and a bill from the grocery store.' "'What does that mean?' asked Ojo. "'Don't ask me,' replied Scraps. "'I say what comes into my head, but of course I know nothing of grocery stores or bones without meat or very much else.' "'No,' said the cat. "'She's stark, staring, raving, crazy, and her brains can't be pink, for they don't work properly.' "'Bother the brains,' cried Scraps. "'Who cares from any how? "'Have you noticed how beautiful my patches are in the sunlight?' "'Just then they heard a sound as of footsteps pattering along the path behind them and all three turned to see what was coming. To their astonishment, they beheld a small round table running as fast as its four spindle legs could carry it, and to the top was screwed fast a phonograph with a big gold horn. "'Hold on!' shouted the phonograph. "'Wait for me!' "'Goodness me, it's that music thing which the crooked magician scattered the powder of life over,' said Ojo. "'So it is,' returned Bungle in a grumpy tone of voice, and then as the phonograph overtook them, the glass cat added sternly. "'What are you doing here, anyhow?' "'I've run away,' said the music thing. "'After you left, old Dr. Pitt and I had a dreadful quarrel, and he threatened to smash me to pieces if I didn't keep quiet. Of course I wouldn't do that because the talking machine is supposed to talk and make a noise and sometimes music. So I slipped out of the house while the magician was stirring his four kettles and I'd been running after you all night. Now that I've found such pleasant company, I can talk and play tunes all I want to.'" Ojo was greatly annoyed by this unwelcome addition to the party. At first he did not know what to say to the newcomer, but a little thought decided him not to make friends. "'We are traveling on an important business,' he declared. "'And you'll excuse me if I say we can't be bothered.'" "'How very impolite!' exclaimed the phonograph. "'I'm sorry, but it's true,' said the boy. "'You'll have to go somewhere else.' "'This is very unkind treatment, I must say,' whined the phonograph in an injured tone. "'Everyone seems to hate me, and yet I was intended to amuse people. "'It isn't you we hate especially,' observed the glass cat. "'It's your dreadful music. "'When I lived in the same room with you, "'I was much annoyed by your squeaky horn. "'It growls and grumbles and clicks and scratches "'so it spoils the music "'and your machinery rumbles "'so that the racket drums every tune you attempt. "'That isn't my fault. "'It's the fault of my records. "'I must admit that I haven't a clear record,' answered the machine. "'Just the same. "'You'll have to go away,' said Ojo. "'Wait a minute,' cried Scraps. "'This music thing interests me. "'I remember to have heard music "'when I first came to life, "'and I would like to hear it again. "'What's your name, my poor abused phonograph?' "'Victor Columbia Edison,' it answered. "'Well, I shall call you Vic for short,' said the patchwork girl. "'Go ahead and play something. "'It'll drive you crazy,' warned the cat. "'I'm crazy now, according to your statement. "'Loosen up and reel out the music, Vic. "'The only record I have with me,' explained the phonograph, "'is the one the magician attached "'just before we had a quarrel. "'It's a highly classical composition. "'A what?' inquired Scraps. "'It is classical music, "'and it is considered the best "'and most puzzling ever manufactured. "'You're supposed to like it, "'whether you do or not, "'and if you don't, the proper thing "'is to look as if you did, understand?' "'Not in the least,' said Scraps. "'Then listen.' "'At once the machine began to play, "'and in a few minutes, "'Ojo put his hand to his ears "'about the sounds, and the cat snarled, "'and Scraps began to laugh. "'Cut it out, Vic,' she said. "'That's enough.' "'But the phonograph continued playing the dreary tune, "'so Ojo seized the crank, "'jerked it free and threw it into the road. "'However the moment the crank struck the ground, "'it bounded back to the machine again "'and began winding it up, "'and still the music played. "'Let's run,' cried Scraps, "'and they all started "'on the path as fast as they could go. "'But the phonograph was right behind them "'and could run and play at the same time. "'It called out reproachfully. "'What's the matter? "'Don't you love classical music?' "'No, Vic,' said Scraps, halting. "'We will passical the classical "'and preserve what joy we have left. "'I haven't any nerves, thank goodness, "'but your music makes my cotton shrink. "'Then turn over my record. "'There's a ragtime tune on the other side,' said the machine. "'What's ragtime?' "'The opposite of classical. "'All right,' said Scraps, "'and turned over the record. "'The phonograph now began "'to play a jerky jumble of sounds "'which proved so bewildering "'that after a moment Scraps stuffed "'her patchwork apron into the goldhorn "'and cried, "'Stop, stop! "'That's the other extreme. "'It's extremely bad,' muffled as it was "'the phonograph played on. "'If you don't shut off that music, "'I'll smash your record,' threatened Ojo. "'The music stopped at that, "'and the machine turned its horn from one to another "'and said with a great indignation. "'What's the matter now? "'Is it possible you can't appreciate ragtime?' "'Scraps ought to, being rags herself,' said the cat, "'but I simply can't stand it, "'and makes my whiskers curl. "'It is indeed dreadful,' exclaimed Ojo, with a shudder. "'It's enough to drive a crazy lady mad,' murmured "'the patchwork girl. "'I'll tell you what thick,' she added "'as she smoothed out her apron "'and put it on again. "'For reason or other, you've missed your guess. "'You're not a concert, you're a nuisance.' "'Music hath charms to soothe the savage beast,' asserted the phonograph sadly. "'Then we're not savages. "'I advise you to go home "'and beg the magicians pardon. "'Never, he'd smash me. "'That's what we shall do if you stay here,' Ojo declared. "'Run along, Vic, and bother someone else,' advised Scraps. "'Find someone who is real wicked "'and stay with him till he repents. "'And that way you can do some good in the world.' "'The music thing turned silently away "'and trotted down a side path "'toward a distant Munchkin village. "'Is that the way we go?' asked Bungle anxiously. "'No,' said Ojo. "'I think we shall keep straight ahead "'for this path is the widest and best. "'When we come to some house, "'we will inquire the way to the Emerald City.'" End of Chapter 7 Recording by Elizabeth Sarenka Chapter 8 of The Patchwork Girl of Oz This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Elizabeth Sarenka The Patchwork Girl of Oz by L. Frank Baum Chapter 8 The Foolish Owl and the Wise Donkey On they went, and half an hour steady walking brought them to a house somewhat better than the two they had already passed. It stood close to the roadside and over the door was a sign that read Miss Foolish Owl and Mr. Wise Donkey were the public advisors. When Ojo read the sign aloud, Scrap said laughingly, "'Well, here's the place to get all the advice we want. "'Maybe more than we need. Let's go in.'" The boy knocked at the door. "'Come in!' called a deep bass voice. So they opened the door and entered the house, where a little light brown donkey dressed in a blue apron and a blue cap was engaged and dusting the furniture with the blue cloth. On a shelf over the window set a great blue owl with the blue sun bonnet on her head blinking her big round eyes of the visitors. "'Good morning!' said the donkey in his deep voice, which seemed bigger than he was. "'Did you come to us for advice?' "'Why, we came anyhow,' replied Scraps. "'And now we are here. We may as well have some advice. "'It's free, isn't it?' "'Certainly,' said the donkey. "'Advice doesn't cost anything unless you follow it. "'Permit me to say, by the way, "'that you are the queerest lot of travelers "'that ever came into my shop. "'Judging you merely by appearances, "'I think you'd better talk to the foolish owl yonder.'" They turned to look at the bird, which fluttered its wings and back at them with its big eyes. "'Hoot-tee-toot-tee-toot,' cried the owl. "'Fiddle-come-foo, how do you do? "'Fiddle-come, fiddle-come, too-ra-la-loo.'" "'That beats your poetry, Scraps,' said Ojo. "'It's just nonsense,' declared the glass cat. "'But it's good advice for the foolish,' said the donkey admiringly. "'Listen to my partner, and you can't go wrong.' "'Said the owl in a grumbling voice. "'Patrick girl has come to life. "'No one's sweetheart, no one's wife. "'Lacking sense and loving fun "'shall be snubbed by everyone. "'Quite a compliment, quite a compliment,' I declare,' exclaimed the donkey, turning to look at Scraps. "'You are certainly a wonder, my dear, "'and I fancy you'd make a splendid pincushion. "'If you belonged to me, "'I'd wear smoked glasses when I looked at you. "'Why?' asked the patchwork girl. "'Because you are so gay and gaudy. "'It is my beauty that dazzles you,' she asserted. "'You munchkin people, "'straight around in your stupid blue color, "'while I—' "'You are wrong in calling me a munchkin,' interrupted the donkey. "'For I was born in the land of Mo, "'and I came to visit the land of Oz "'on the day it was shut off from the rest of the world. "'So here I am obliged to stay, "'and I confess it is a very pleasant country to live in.' "'Who toot, toot,' cried the owl. "'Ojo's searching for a charm, "'cause uncle Nunkie's come to harm. "'Charms are scarce, they're hard to get. "'Ojo's got a job you bet.' "'Is the owl so very foolish?' asked the boy. "'Extremely so,' replied the donkey. "'Notice what vulgar expression she uses. "'But I admire the owl "'for the reason that she is positively foolish. "'Ells are supposed to be so very wise, generally, "'that a foolish one is unusual, "'and you perhaps know that anything or anyone unusual "'is sure to be interesting to the wise.'" The owl flapped its wings again, muttering these words. "'It's hard to be a glassy cat. "'No cat can be more hard than that. "'She's so transparent, every act. "'It's clear to us, and that's a fact. "'Have you noticed my pink brains?' inquired Bungal Proudly. "'You can see them work.' "'Not in the daytime,' said the donkey. "'She can see very well by day, poor thing. "'But her advice is excellent. "'I advise you to follow it.' "'The owl hasn't given us any advice as yet,' the boy declared. "'No?' "'Then what do you call all those sweet poems?' "'Just foolishness,' replied Ojo, "'scraps does the same thing.' "'Foolishness, of course, to be sure. "'The foolish owl must be foolish, "'or she wouldn't be the foolish owl. "'You are very complimentary to my partner indeed,' asserted the donkey, rubbing his front hoofs together as if highly pleased. "'The sign says that you are wise,' marked scraps to the donkey. "'I wish you would prove it.' "'With great pleasure,' returned the beast, "'put me to the test, my dear patches, "'and I'll prove my wisdom in the wink of an eye. "'What is the best way to get to the Emerald City?' asked Ojo. "'Walk,' said the donkey. "'I know, but what road shall I take?' was the boy's next question. "'The Road of Yellow Bricks, of course. "'It leads directly to the Emerald City.' "'And how shall we find the Road of Yellow Bricks?' "'By keeping along the path you have been following. "'You'll come to the Yellow Bricks pretty soon, "'and you'll know them when you see them "'because they're the only yellow things "'in the Blue Country.' "'Thank you,' said the boy. "'You told me something. "'Is that the extent of your wisdom?' asked scraps. "'No,' replied the donkey. "'I know many other things, "'but they wouldn't interest you, "'so I'll give you a last word of advice. "'Move on. "'For the sooner you do that, "'the sooner you get to the Emerald City of Oz.' "'Hoot-dee-toot-dee-toot-dee-toot,' screeched the owl. "'Where you go, fast or slow? "'Where you're going? "'You don't know. "'Patches bungle much can let, "'facing fortunes good and bad, "'meeting dangerous grave and sad, "'sometimes worried, sometimes glad. "'Where you're going? "'You don't know, nor do I, but off you go.' "'Sounds like a hint to me,' said the patchwork girl. "'Then let's take it and go,' replied Ojo. "'They said goodbye to the wise donkey "'and the foolish owl, "'from the photons resumed their journey.'" End of Chapter 8 recording by Elizabeth Sarranka. CHAPTER IX OF THE PATCHWORK GIRL OF OZ. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information, or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Denise Stradling. THE PATCHWORK GIRL OF Oz by Elle Frank Baum. fine. They meet the Woosie." There seemed to be very few houses around here after all," remarked Ojo, after they had walked for a time in silence. "'Never mind,' said Scraps. We are not looking for houses, but rather the road of yellow bricks. Won't it be funny to run across something yellow in this dismal blue country?' "'There are worse colors than yellow in this country,' asserted the glass cat, in a spiteful tone." "'Oh, do you mean the pink pebbles you call your brains, and your red heart and green eyes?' asked the patchwork girl. "'No, I mean you, if you must know it,' growled the cat. "'You're jealous,' laughed Scraps. "'You'd give your whiskers for a lovely variegated complexion like mine.' "'I wouldn't,' retorted the cat. "'I've the clearest complexion in the world, and I don't employ a beauty doctor either.' "'I see you don't,' said Scraps. "'Please don't quarrel,' begged Ojo. "'This is an important journey, and quarrelling makes me discouraged. To be brave one must be cheerful, so I hope you will be as good-tempered as possible.'" They had traveled some distance when suddenly they faced a high fence, which barred any further progress straight ahead. It ran directly across the road and enclosed a small forest of tall trees, set close together. When the group of adventurers peered through the bars of the fence, they thought this forest looked more gloomy and forbidding than any they had ever seen before. They soon discovered that the path they had been following now made a bend and passed around the enclosure. But what made Ojo stop and look thoughtful was a sign painted on the fence which read, Beware of the Woosie. "'That means,' he said, that there's a Woosie inside that fence, and the Woosie must be a dangerous animal, or they wouldn't tell people to beware of it.' "'Let's keep out, then,' replied Scraps. "'That path is outside the fence, and Mr. Woosie may have all his little forest to himself for all we care.' "'But one of our errands is to find a Woosie,' Ojo explained. "'The magician wants me to get three hairs from the end of a Woosie's tail.' "'Let's go on and find some other Woosie,' suggested the cat. "'This one is ugly and dangerous, or they wouldn't cage him up. "'Maybe we shall find another that is tame and gentle.' "'Perhaps there isn't any other at all,' answered Ojo. "'The sign doesn't say, Beware a Woosie. "'It says, Beware the Woosie, which may mean there's only one in all the land of Oz.' "'Then,' said Scraps, "'suppose we go in and find him. Very likely, if we ask him politely to let us pull three hairs out of the tip of his tail, he won't hurt us.' "'It would hurt him, I'm sure, and that would make him cross,' said the cat. "'You needn't worry, Bungal,' remarked the patchwork girl. "'For if there is danger, you can climb a tree.' "'Ojo and I are not afraid. Are we, Ojo?' "'I am a little,' the boy admitted. "'But this danger must be faced if we intend to save poor Uncleuncey.' "'How shall we get over the fence?' "'Climb,' answered Scraps, and at once she began climbing up the rows of bars. Ojo followed, and found it more easy than he had expected. When they got to the top of the fence, they began to get down on the other side, and soon were in the forest. The glass cat, being small, crept between the lower bars and joined them. Here there was no path of any sort, so they entered the woods, the boy leading the way, and wandered through the trees until they were nearly in the center of the forest. They now came upon a clear space in which stood a rocky cave. So far they had met no living creature, but when Ojo saw the cave, he knew it must be the den of the woozy. It is hard to face any savage beast without a sinking of the heart, but still more terrifying is it to face an unknown beast, which you have never seen even a picture of. So there is little wonder that the pulses of the munchkin boy beat fast as he and his companions stood facing the cave. The opening was perfectly square and about big enough to admit a goat. I guess the woozy is asleep, said Scraps. Shall I throw in a stone to waken him? No, please don't," answered Ojo, his voice trembling a little. I'm in no hurry. But he had not long to wait, for the woozy heard the sound of voices and came trotting out of his cave. As this is the only woozy that has ever lived, either in the land of Oz or out of it, I must describe it to you. The creature was all squares and flat surfaces and edges. Its head was in exact square, like one of the building blocks a child plays with. Therefore it had no ears, but heard sounds through two openings in the upper corners. Its nose, being in the center of a square surface, was flat. While the mouth was formed by the opening of the lower edge of the block, the body of the woozy was much larger than its head, but was likewise block shaped, being twice as long as it was wide and high. The tail was square and stubby and perfectly straight, and the four legs were made in the same way, each being four-sided. The animal was covered with a thick, smooth skin and had no hair at all, except at the extreme end of its tail, where there grew exactly three stiff, stubby hairs. The beast was dark blue in color, and his face was not fierce nor ferocious in expression, but rather good-humored and droll. Seeing the strangers, the woozy folded his hind legs as if they had been hinged and sat down to look his visitors over. Well, well, he exclaimed, what a queer lot you are. At first I thought some of those miserable munchkin farmers had come to annoy me, but I am relieved to find you in their stead. It is plain to me that you are a remarkable group, as remarkable in your way as I am in mine, and so you are welcome to my domain. Nice place, isn't it? But lonesome, dreadfully lonesome. Why did they shut you up here, ask scraps, who was regarding the queer, square creature with much curiosity? Because I eat up all the honeybees, which the munchkin farmers who live around here keep to make them honey. Are you fond of eating honeybees? inquired the boy. Very, they are really delicious, but the farmers did not like to lose their bees, and so they tried to destroy me. Of course they couldn't do that. Why not? My skin is so thick and tough that nothing can get through it to hurt me. So, finding they could not destroy me, they drove me into this forest and built a fence around me. Unkind, wasn't it? But what do you eat now? asked Ojo. Nothing at all. I've tried the leaves from the trees and the mosses and creeping vines, but they don't seem to suit my taste. So, there being no honeybees here, I've eaten nothing for years. You must be awfully hungry, said the boy. I've got some bread and cheese in my basket. Would you like that kind of food? Give me a nibble and I'll try it. Then I can tell you better whether it is grateful to my appetite, returned the woozy. So, the boy opened his basket and broke a piece off the loaf of bread. He tossed it toward the woozy, who cleverly caught it in his mouth and ate it in a twinkling. That's rather good, declared the animal. Any more? Try some cheese, said Ojo, and threw down a piece. The woozy ate that too and smacked its long, thin lips. That's mighty good, it exclaimed. Any more? Plenty, replied Ojo. So, he sat down on a stump and fed the woozy bread and cheese for a long time. For no matter how much the boy broke off, the loaf and the slice remained just as big. That'll do, said the woozy at last. I'm quite full. I hope the strange food won't give me indigestion. I hope not, said Ojo. It's what I eat. Well, I must say I much obliged, and I'm glad you came, announced the beast. Is there anything I can do in return for your kindness? Yes, said Ojo earnestly. You have it in your power to do me a great favor, if you will. What is it, asked the woozy. Name the favor and I will grant it. I want three hairs from the tip of your tail, said Ojo, with some hesitation. Three hairs? Why, that's all I have, on my tail or anywhere else, exclaimed the beast. I know, but I want them very much. They are my soul ornaments. My prettiest feature, said the woozy uneasily. If I give up those three hairs, I'm just a blockhead. Yet, I must have them, insisted the boy, firmly. And he then told the woozy, all about the accident to Aunt Nunky and Margalada, and how the three hairs were to be part of the magic charm that would restore them to life. The beast listened with attention, and when Ojo had finished the recital, it said, with a sigh. I always keep my word, for I pride myself on being square. So, you may have the three hairs, and welcome. I think, under such circumstances, it would be selfish in me to refuse you. Thank you, thank you very much, cried the boy joyfully. May I pull out the hairs now? Anytime you like, answered the woozy. So, Ojo went up to the queer creature, and taking hold of one of the hairs, began to pull. He pulled harder. He pulled with all his might, but the hair remained fast. What's the trouble? Asked the woozy, which Ojo had dragged here and there all around the clearing in his endeavor to pull out the hair. It won't come, said the boy, panting. I was afraid of that, declared the beast. You'll have to pull harder. I'll help you, exclaimed scraps, coming to the boy's side. You pull the hair and I'll pull you, and together we ought to get it out easily. Wait a jiffy, called the woozy. And then it went to a tree and hugged it with its front paws, so that its body couldn't be dragged around by the pull. All ready now, go ahead. Ojo grasped the hair with both hands, and pulled with all his strength, while scraps seized the boy around his waist and added her strength to his, but the hair wouldn't budge. Instead, it slipped out of Ojo's hands, and he and scraps both rolled upon the ground in a heap and never stopped until they bumped against the rocky cave. Give it up, advised the glass cat, as the boy arose and assisted the patchwork girl to her feet. A dozen strong men couldn't pull out those hairs. I believe they're clinched on the underside of the woozy's thick skin. Then what shall I do? asked the boy despairingly. If on our return I fail to take these three hairs to the crooked magician, the other things I have come to seek will be of no use at all, and we cannot restore Aunt Nunky and Margolotta to life. They're goners, I guess, said the patchwork girl. Never mind, added the cat. I can't see that old Aunt and Margolotta are worth all this trouble anyhow. But Ojo did not feel that way. He was so disheartened that he sat down upon a stump and began to cry. The woozy looked at the boy thoughtfully. Why don't you take me with you? asked the beast. Then, when at last you get to the magician's house, he can surely find some way to pull out those three hairs. Ojo was overjoyed at the suggestion. That's it, he cried, wiping away the tears and springing to his feet with a smile. If I take the three hairs to the magician, it won't matter if they are still in your body. It can't matter in the least, agreed the woozy. Come on then, said the boy, picking up his basket. Let us start at once. I have several other things to find you know. But the glass cat gave a little laugh and inquired in her scornful way. How do you intend to get the beast out of this forest? That puzzled them all for a time. Let us go to the fence and then we may find a way, suggested scraps. So they walked through the forest to the fence, reaching it at a point exactly opposite that where they had entered the enclosure. How did you get in? asked the woozy. We climbed over, answered Ojo. I can't do that, said the beast. I'm a very swift runner, for I can overtake a honeybee as it flies and I can jump very high, which is the reason they made such a tall fence to keep me in. But I can't climb at all and I'm too big to squeeze between the bars of the fence. Ojo tried to think what to do. Can you dig? he asked. No, answered the woozy. For I have no claws. My feet are quite flat on the bottom of them, nor can I gnaw away the boards as I have no teeth. You're not such a terrible creature after all, remark scraps. You haven't heard me growl, or you wouldn't say that, declared the woozy. When I growl, the sound echoes like thunder all through the valleys and woodlands and children tremble with fear and women cover their heads with their aprons and big men run and hide. I suppose there is nothing in the world so terrible to listen to as a growl of a woozy. Please don't growl then, begged Ojo earnestly. There is no danger of my growling, for I am not angry. Only when angry do I utter my fearful, ear-splitting, soul-shuttering growl. Also, when I am angry, my eyes flash fire. Whether I growl or not. Real fire, asked Ojo. Of course, real fire. You suppose they flash imitation fire, inquired the woozy in an injured tone. In that case, I've solved the riddle, cried scraps, dancing with glee. Those fence boards are made of wood, and if the woozy stands close to the fence and lets his eyes flash fire, they might set fire to the fence and burn it up. Then he could walk away with us easily, being free. Ah, I have never thought of that plan, or I would have been free long ago, said the woozy. But I cannot flash fire from my eyes unless I am very angry. Can't you get angry about something, please? Asked Ojo. I'll try. You just say, chrysal-cru to me. Will that make you angry? Inquired the boy. Terribly angry. What does it mean, asked scraps. I don't know, that's what makes me so angry, replied the woozy. He then stood close to the fence, with his head near one of the boards, and scraps called out, chrysal-cru. Then Ojo said, chrysal-cru. And the glass cat said, chrysal-cru. The woozy began to tremble with anger, and small sparks darted from his eyes. Seeing this, they all cried, chrysal-cru, together. And that made the beast's eyes flash fire so fiercely that the fence-board caught the sparks, and began to smoke. Then it burst into flame, and the woozy stepped back, and said triumphantly, aha, that did the business all right. It was a happy thought for you to yell all together, for that made me as angry as I have ever been. Fine sparks, weren't they? Regular fireworks, replied scraps, admiringly. In a few moments, the board had burned to a distance of several feet, leaving an opening big enough for them all to pass through. Ojo broke some branches from a tree, and with them whipped the fire until it was extinguished. "'We don't wanna burn the whole fence down,' said he. For the flames would attract the attention of the munchkin farmers, who would then come and capture the woozy again. I guess they'll be rather surprised when they find he's escaped.' "'So they will,' declared the woozy, chuckling gleefully. When they find I'm gone, the farmers will be badly scared, for they'll expect me to eat up their honeybees, as I did before.' "'That reminds me,' said the boy. "'That you must promise not to eat honeybees while you are in our company.' "'Not at all?' "'Not a bee. You would get us all into trouble, and we can't afford to have any more trouble than is necessary. I'll feed you all the bread and cheese you want, and that must satisfy you.' "'All right, I'll promise,' said the woozy, cheerfully. "'And when I promise anything, you can depend on it, cause I'm square.' "'I don't see what difference that makes,' observed the patchwork girl, as they found the path and continued their journey. "'The shape doesn't make a thing, honest, does it?' "'Of course it does,' returned the woozy, very decidedly. "'No one could trust that crooked magician, for instance, just because he is crooked. But a square woozy couldn't do anything crooked if he wanted to.' "'I'm neither square nor crooked,' said Scraps, looking down at her plump body. "'No, you're round, so you're liable to do anything,' asserted the woozy. "'Do not blame me, Miss Gorgeous, if I regard you with suspicion. Many a satin ribbon has a cotton back.'" Scraps didn't understand this, but she had an uneasy misgiving that she had a cotton back herself. It would settle down at times and make her squat and dumpy, and then she had to roll herself in the road until her body stretched out again. End of Chapter 9 Recording by Dinny Stradling © BF-WATCH TV 2021