 I'm an everyday woman, woman, woman in every way. Welcome to Every Way Woman. I'm living my life, life, life, living day by day. I'm you in every way woman. Live from Los Angeles, here's Every Way Woman. Welcome to Every Way Woman. So let's start with a little open dialogue. Should women who are the boss at work allow their men to be the boss at home? Huh. Well, sounds like you've been in my house. Crazy. And I only say that because when I first got married, I struggled with this because I was a manager of boss and I had a lot of people and then I came home and I started bossing my husband around. And I was just really urgh. And one day he told me, he said, you need to have a seat. He said, what you do over at the city of Baba Blah is there. But when you walk in this house, I'm the head of this house. And I know that sounds like a lot of people, but he got my attention. Turn it off. You don't run anything up in here. We run it together. OK, so for you, you just step back and you like your man be the man of the house. Yeah. You like that? Yes, he is the man of the house. Yeah, you know, I like a more traditional role. But if I were at work every day and I was the boss and I was constantly having to stress out on stress levels are high when you're making decisions. So if I came home and my man was like, hi honey, here's your dinner. I got laundry done. All the clothes are put away. And we're going to go upstairs and make magic in 30. I'd be like, yes. So if I had the time and the energy, which we don't, we don't have the time and the energy to do all of those things. And if he has the time and the energy, if he's the one that's at home, it needs to be in charge, then heck yeah, go ahead. I mean, it's an iron. Right. It's a partnership. Well, you know what I find really interesting though is I think a lot of women let their men think they're the man of the house kind of, but the woman is the neck that turns the head. That is correct. If you will. That is correct. We are the neck that turns the head. A neck has no purpose without a head and a head has no purpose without a neck. So you work in tandem. But I think what happens is women sometimes, and I know we're going to get emails and texts. So I'm sorry right now. We want chivalry, but then we want to wear the pants. Pick a mood, balance it. Right. Balance it. You can be talking, oh baby, do this for me, do this for me. And then I tell you what to do. I tell, it's a work time way. And women stop fooling ourselves. I've done it. Let's stop fooling ourselves. We're a partnership. Well, how do you see it? How do you see it? You're household. Because I've really touched you up with that. Well, we know that you have your eyes on having a career. Yes. I have to. Well, okay, again, I want the best of both worlds. I am that classic, I want it all. I do want the career, I do want to be the boss at work. And it is nice to be able to, I would assume, come home and let somebody else make some of those decisions. But I can't imagine I would be able to turn it off and then just let somebody else step in. Let me add to that a little bit. Now you're out there dating right now and you're looking for men who have jobs, who are successful, they're in progressive careers where they are. So what do you, how do you see it if you're the boss and you're doing this and this and this and he's the boss and he's doing this and this and then he also wants to come home and take charge of the house. I think you can let him take charge of the house Monday through Friday, right? And then girlfriend takes charge on Saturday and Sunday and let him have a little break and you can step in. I mean, can't you just share? I think I left the wrong picture with you because I'm not saying that you just stop at the door and you become home and you come home with your docile. That's not what I'm saying. I'm an executive. You don't surrender. Well, he's like, no, I'm a manager at work and I'm executive, I make very high-powered decisions but in my home, he and I work together. I just don't come home and say, this is what we're gonna do. I will say that where I work. I don't have a time sometime that this is what we're gonna do, but I don't bring that same spirit and same energy in my home. It's counterproductive. Do you think that's helped the success of your marriage? Absolutely, absolutely. I was speaking with a woman. She's about 45 years old and she had just got out of relationship starting to date again and what she had said is, you know, I have, why can't I find a man who wants to take care of me? But she wants to be this strong, independent person. And then she said, and she juxtaposed that with, I know women who are very successful, they date men that are very successful, but I'm not, but she like serves her man. She goes to the buffet line or whatever, the event and puts his plate together and makes sure he has his drink and has all that. She's like, what's wrong with that? Well, but see her point of view was is, I don't, I'm a strong, independent person and I don't need to do that. And, but yet here she is. She's single and she can't find a man. And Jasmine, to you, that is the key. I can give you the secret about keeping, stay married. I am listening. Men want, my husband tells me and all his friends, men want three things. They wanna know that they are valued in their home, that they want peace. They want peace at all costs. And that they wanna know that you have their backs as their wife. If you do that, you'll have their purse, you'll have their wallet. There's nothing that they won't do for you with those three secrets. I think you're right, Cece, because that's what she was missing. I think she was missing that, why do I have to serve him if I'm successful? He should serve me. That's right. Aren't you supposed to serve each other like I do to you as you do to me? Ask me, it's what works in your home. It's what works in your home. My husband rubs my feet. I rub his head. My husband likes hot dogs. He doesn't wanna wipe the necessary slaves over stove. He wants me to talk to him. My friend's husband, she has to have her food on the table. It's what works in your home, but as long as a man, and you give him some. Yeah. So, right? You give him some, he has peace. He's got peace. You will have a happy man. I'm telling you. Don't let him walk out. Listen to me, ladies. On the face, it's good. Any words of the wise for Madison? I have to ditto. Ditto. To a shape. Ladies, I think I have a lot to learn from the studio because I don't know what my household's gonna look like in the future, but I'm hoping it's a peaceful, happy. And give him some. And give him some. We'll see ya. You and every way woman, way woman. Welcome to Every Way Woman, so I'd like to start with a little game I call Shame or Fame. Ready, ladies? Ready. Let me break it down to you. Here's the story. Couple, together three years, get married. She decides she wants to have a baby. There's trouble with fertility. They now have to invest in further treatments. She's fertile. He is not. Just to be clear. Now, in this, she finds out that he's $150,000 in debt. Surprise, she did not know. Immediately files for divorce. Shame or fame? Shame. Fame. Shame. Look at me, ladies, in the audience. Shame. Shame on her for not doing her research. They were together three years before they got married. Shame on her. Shame on her for leaving her man when he needed her. Okay, times were difficult, but she left him. Shame, shame, shame. Okay, wait, wait, wait. No, fame, fame, fame, fame, fame. Okay, yeah, still together for three years. However, maybe that was not information that he disclosed to her. Now, if you give out information, you're like, oh, this is what you do, then you might think, yeah, the other person does that too. What is she then gonna do? Well, he didn't lie about it. The women get, he didn't lie about it. He was just a little hush hush. She didn't ask the right questions. As women, we gotta ask the right question. We ask all kinds of questions. Yeah, a man, a man. A woman, a woman. For a woman in a relationship, we don't ask questions. Yeah, except for this. I knew someone who had met someone and married someone whose parents had made their car payments for the first year, year and a half, two years of their marriage and didn't even know about it. Okay. Okay, so how was she not to know that he had made those car payments? In her defense, and as a single woman, I wanna know, ladies, how much do you have to disclose about your finances? I mean, do I have to air all my dirty bills? Absolutely. You absolutely have to air debt. You have to air? Absolutely, and if my mate doesn't air it, am I excused? I still have to ask the questions. Babe, love you, you find us ever, but how much money are we gonna be in debt? Cause it's our debt, because he didn't tell me. And I didn't ask, I just leave him? But maybe he didn't tell her. Maybe she might have asked him. We don't know if she asked those questions and he didn't tell her. Okay, so are you concerned that one lie can lead to another lie? Absolutely. That's a little lie. That wasn't even a little lie. No, but that's a very solid point, Stacey, that if he's not being honest about his finances, what else is he hiding? But we don't know that he just didn't say anything and she didn't ask. Well, okay, she didn't ask, aesthetically. What did he spend his money on? Frivolous things. We're talking watches, glasses. That's irrelevant, ladies. Absolutely. No, it's absolutely relevant. No, it's not. Yes, it is, cause he spent his money on crap. He didn't even like go in debt to buy a house. Madison, if he spent it on a stripper or if he spent it on buying her a ring, it's irrelevant. The problem is, is at a difficult time in their relationship, she bailed out. And that's a shame. Okay, so here's my thing. Her relationship wasn't real. Here's my thing. That's a thing it wasn't even real to begin with. In my opinion, it's a little bit of both, okay? Typical Gemini, me. I'm saying a little shame, a little fame. So, why is a shame a thing? Let me hear this. In my opinion, good for her for standing up for herself. However, shame, shame in the fact that maybe there was a few other alternative steps in the meantime before divorce to, you know, maybe therapy or let's create a budget together. He bought some watches and went, took himself to McDonald's. Maybe it was a few presents for her. $150,000 worth. And they're gonna therapy, they're whatever. No way, no way. How does she stand up for herself by leaving her marriage with some information she didn't like? Well, she didn't want to waste any more time. She was ready to have a baby, to start a family. He was not able to do that not only financially, but physically, so she moved on to find a different man. Being a debt is not a reason not to have kids. I mean, life happens, you want to have a family committed to it, that's great. But really what it is, is the man was a liar. He lied to her. And not giving full disclosure about your debt and about the way that you spend your money and what you spend it on. Now, if he had said, he was $150,000 in debt because he had bought a house. Yeah, shame on her. But it wasn't for a house. You know, here's the thing, in his defense, maybe he was afraid to say that to her. And I didn't have a real relationship. But I'm nervous. They were together for three years and dated. Okay, so how do you have that conversation, Stacey? What are you doing for the three years? Okay, here's the thing, here's Stacey. Hey baby, I'm gonna take you out. I'm gonna take you out to dinner. This is $200, this is $500. And she's thinking everything's okay. My man is taking care of me. She's, this is, I'm in a good place. I feel good about where we are. And then she finds out, oh my gosh, those two $300 dinners that we could have done without to be $150. Now I can't have a baby. Ladies, a man, a person can only keep up a farce for so long. We're dismissing, they were together three years. Okay, but go back to my question. I'm not saying that he was right. But she also did not pay attention. I'm not saying she paid attention. No, no, but let's discuss the conversation she should have had with him. How do you broach that with your man? How do you look at someone you trust who's assuming financial responsibility and say, I question you, baby. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm talking about your finances. Here's the conversation. Babe, are you marrying me? Yes, okay, before we get married, we need to talk about some things. One, we need to talk about our debt. Two, we need to talk about your credit. Your, our credit. Three, we need to talk about some HIV tests. You gotta talk about all things. Yes, I agree. I absolutely agree. Yes. I do. You just can't say, well, you're so fine, I'm gonna be, let's go to the altar. No, that's what I wanted to say. Really, it's not like that. I have to interview my husband. Okay, then you will be at the wall of shame, too. Yes, you will be there, too. You will be there, too. You will be there, too. That's how it works. Let's just go get it. Are you in everywhere with my, with my? The doctors are here from Finesse Plastic Surgery to talk to us about face lifts. Trust me, this is a conversation you don't wanna miss. Beauty is skin deep and aging is inevitable. But nowadays with technology, we have an array of options to choose from. We have Dr. Gown and Dr. West from Finesse Plastic Surgery to tell us what some of those options are and how to make wise choices, especially when it comes to face lifts. So, gentlemen, when does a person become a good candidate for a face lift? There's no age that's too young. It's certainly when the patient comes in and says, you know what, I'm having, looking in the mirror, I'm seeing features that weren't there before. The jowls start to sag, they start to get a little bit of excess skin and tissue in the neck, especially nowadays when we're working with technology, working down, doing face time with our telephones. We're leaning over, we're accentuating what gravity is doing to us. So really what you're saying is technology is encouraging us to age. For some, yes. For some, it creates the illusion of aging because gravity and pushing forward is gonna bring features down. Wow, okay. So the idea is we wanna reverse those effects. We wanna give the patient a refreshed look. So when I talk to patients, I always tell them to imagine taking a mirror, looking at it instead of looking down into your tablet. Look straight up like this. This brings back gravity plus that a little extra and that's the desired look for what changes we want to encourage during facelift surgery. Are you saying with technology that we're getting facelifts for generations that are younger now than they were maybe 10, 15 years ago? I think people are certainly more aware of it. With all the social media, with Facebook posts and Instagram and all the, people are sending a lot of photos themselves. Which means they're looking a lot more photos of themselves. So in addition to seeing what they see in the mirror, you look at a photo and it's a really objective way of seeing the problems that you have in your face. So since our culture is going down that pathway of taking a lot more photos, sharing a lot more photos, people become, I think, a lot more self-aware of their aging features. And so they're coming to us and say, well, I hate the way I look on my Facebook post or I hate the way this Instagram photos look. I think there's just a heightened awareness because we're photographing ourselves so much more. Okay, so I have a question. Am I too young to have a facelift or is now a good time? It's never a question of too young. It's if you have features that are bothersome to you, we're gonna give you the entire array of options of what's possible. So that doesn't mean automatically jumping to a facelift. We have an entire plethora of non-invasive techniques that we can use to try to avoid a more invasive surgery. Okay. And still turn back the time of the clock. So you would suggest that instead of jumping into plastic surgery or a facelift, something that someone could do is step in and start preventative measures way beforehand. I think that's a good way of thinking about it. I think that to Mark's point, we don't have an algorithm or a set of rules that says at 35 you need this and at 45 you need this and at 65 you need this. Our job is really to assess your face because people age at very different rates. We have people who develop a lot of skin laxity earlier in life and people who sort of hold on to some of their features a lot longer. So our priority is when a person comes in, number one is to get them to tell us what bothers them about their face. And then based on what their concerns are, we give them options. Some of those options might be surgical, but a lot of them are gonna be non-surgical. And certainly starting off with non-surgical options is the easiest way if somebody can sort of enter the plastic surgery world. Okay. Well, once someone makes the decision to have plastic surgery, how intense is the surgery itself and recovery time? It really depends on the surgery that's performed. So if we're talking about minimally invasive procedures, these are things that can be done outpatient same day, no downtime. Oh wow. Then we go into the more moderate types of procedures, the mini facelift, the eyelid surgery, which are I'd say an intermediate recovery. And then a fuller facelift, brow lift or head lift is gonna add a little bit longer time. And also there's the mix of procedures if you add multiple procedures at one sitting and the recovery is gonna be a little bit longer. But these are not procedures where you have downtime of months and months and take weeks and weeks to recuperate. They're still very short protected times. What would you consider a short time for a really invasive surgery? Well, we tend not to do anything really invasive. Okay, all right. But in terms of what's the most you can do in one sitting for facial rejuvenation, we're talking about a full facelift, a neck lift, upper and lower eyelid surgery, a brow lift and fillers of some sort using your own tissues, whether it be some of the tissue would normally throw away or fat that we harvest from liposuction and then put back into strategically placed areas in the face to give back volume. Because volume is another thing that we miss as we age. Because the fat atrophies as well as skin thinning out and dropping down. Okay, would that be extremely painful to recover from? Is that like a one week process, a one month process? I think it's different for everybody. First of all, in terms of pain, no, our faceless patients don't tend to complain very much of pain. The first 24 hours aren't fun because you've been under anesthesia. So people often say, why didn't sleep very well that night? We have them sleep propped up with a bunch of pillows to keep their heads elevated to help with swelling. But pain isn't really a common concern. It's uncomfortable because your face is wrapped up and you often need some help. But it's not at all a painful surgery. In terms of the recovery time, I've had patients where you operate on a Monday and they go back to work that same week on a Friday. And then we have people for whom the recovery is more of a two to three week. The average person is more of a two to three week recovery. And most of what we tell them is it's really social downtime. It's not that they're sitting around in pain, in bed, writhing around the floor crying. It's that they're a little bit embarrassed to go out because they're a little bit black and blue, a little bit swollen, they'd rather stay indoors and take time to recover. Well, thank you, Dr. Gallin. Thank you, Dr. West for joining us. They are with us from Finesse Plastic Surgery and you can check them out on their website. You and every one of my, every one of my. Five ways that exercise is like sex. Got your attention, right? Jennette's here to explain. Is it what I think it is? Well, I mean, it's really a technique because when I tell people I'm gonna talk about exercise, they have ruler eyes and they're like, oh God. But when I say exercise is like sex, then they're like, oh, tell me more, right? So what I mean is that your relationship with exercise, your relationship with your body is like sex and having a relationship with another person. So sometimes you have to move things around and change things up, right? To get it going. Get a little spicy. A little spicy, right? So for example, one thing is, you know, when your sex life needs a little jump start, maybe you're gonna go do it somewhere new, right? So you can do the same thing with exercise. Maybe if you usually exercise in the gym, you're gonna go exercise in the park. You know, maybe you'll do it somewhere public. But I don't want to have sex in the park. You don't have to have sex in the park. I know, I know you do. But you can, you know, work out in the park and that's acceptable. Be a little bit more adventurous. Be a little more adventurous, right? I get it. And that's another thing that you can do to spice up your exercise life is to try something completely different, right? So if you usually are a dancer or a walker, maybe you're gonna try surfing. Try something outrageous. Ooh. Yes. Surfing's fun, huh? Does that mean having sex on a surfboard? I don't even want to think about the logistics of having sex on a surfboard. But I think it would be interesting and it would involve a lot of muscles. That's for sure. Do something different. Right, right. Also, you know, it's very important who you exercise with. Just like it's very important who you have sex with. And finding that exercise partner can really be a challenge. For example, you need somebody who has similar goals and desires as you if you're gonna work out together. If you've got one person who's like, I wanna run a marathon and you've got another person like, I wanna exercise 10 minutes and stop. I get it, you're right. You know, where do you go find her though? You have to, you know, the same place you can go. I'll find her. You can find them like on Craigslist. You can find them at the YMCA, wherever. And then, you know, you also have to have the right equipment, you know? So, like, just like, you need the right tools for the job. So everybody is safe and having a good time. You also need the right tools for exercise. You need the right clothes. You need the right stuff. The right equipment, yeah. But I think the most important way that exercise is like sex is that if you are not having fun, you are not doing it right. If you're not having fun, you're not doing it right. It should be fun. You know, I don't have to tell people, you know, you should have sex three times a week. They're like, let's go. But when I tell people they should exercise three, aww. But it should be fun. But if you say it that way, oh yeah, let's exercise. Yeah, and they're like, let's go. Right now, we're ready. I love it. What advice would you give anybody that's watching right now? You know, it's, I think it's important to think of exercise as something that you look forward to. As something, you know, you have sex because it feels good. You feel good afterwards. And it should be the same with exercise. You should exercise because it feels good and you feel great after you're done. Oh, somebody like me, what would you recommend for me? Not in the sex way. Exercise ways. I'm gonna stick to my scope of expertise. You know, find something that you like. Find any kind of act. If you like to dance, pick something dancey. If you like to, you know, ride a bike. If you're adventurous and you like to be outside, maybe hiking. But think really hard about what feels fun to you and use that as your starting place. So then the five ways to round them up. Mm-hmm. Can you repeat it? You need to try a new place. You need to try a new activity. You need to do it with the right people. You need to have the right equipment and you need to have fun. Wow. I love it how you put it together though, in a sense, because you did get, you got pretty much every guest out there with attention when everybody was so eager to find out what you were talking about. And I love it. I love it because it got my attention. But obviously putting it together, it does make you, you know, look at it in that perspective and wanna, oh, okay, it's easier those five steps to exercise, right? I think that that is really my spirit of what I do and how I teach, is that if you begin from a place of joy and having a good time, people are gonna stick with it and they'll have a great time. That's like with my DVD. Right there. Right there, the fact check works out. It's all about having a good time. I love it. Go check out her DVD and we will be right back with Every Way Woman. Waywoman.com to find out how you can match our donations of undergarments for needy kids. Thanks for getting to know Every Way Woman. I'm an everyday woman and never we were here.