 The Craft Food Company makers of Parquet Margarine presents Willard Waterman as the Great Gilda Sleeves. The Great Gilda Sleeves is brought to you transcribed by the Craft Foods Company. There are two treats in store for you tomorrow when you buy Crafts Parquet Margarine. The whole family is sure to enjoy the appetizing taste of Parquet and the way it spreads smoothly even when ice cold. And this is extra. With every pound of Parquet you buy you can order a pair of lovely nylon stockings. Famous powers model nylons at half price. In just a few minutes I'll have more to tell you about this sensational offer by Crafts Parquet Margarine. Like most old brads the Great Gilda Sleeves gets a touch of football in his blood this time of year so he sneaks away from the office occasionally these crisp autumn afternoons to watch Leroy and the boys toss the ball around at junior high school. Another reason for visiting the school at odd hours is his interest in the principal Miss Irene Henshaw. George these fall days take me back to the time when I was checking a football. Say there's Irene I wonder if she'd like to walk down to the athletic field with me. You know Irene. Yeah I was just on my way to the athletic field. Care to come along. Well I was on my way home but it's such a lovely afternoon. Yeah come along and then I'll drive you home. That'll be very nice. You're very fetching today in that new suit. Thank you. Don't. Don't walk so fast. Dr. Morton. Yeah I forgot that's one of those tight pencil swim skirts. You can't cover much territory in that can you. Well it would be a handicapped in a hundred yard dash. See why walk at all when we just sit here in the tree for a while or can you get down to the ground in that skirt. Come on. I thought you're so interested in football who I am in fact I believe you said you were a great iron great in your day. Well I didn't make anybody's all American but it was probably because I went to a small school. Oh I was sort of a big fish in a small pond. Yeah there's Leroy and Piggy. The regular squad has gone to the showers. Yeah Leroy is practicing late but he needs. All right. Oh my goodness. I'll just show those boys how to play football. You think you should. After all it's been years since you played football. All I'm going to do is catch a pass and show the boys how to log it across the goal line. Leroy. I must go to sleep. Hello Piggy. Good afternoon Miss Hanshaw. Hello boys. Leroy do you want to throw me a pass. Are you kidding. No indeed. I want to show you how to catch one and run for a touchdown. Throw them on Leroy. Yeah that's a spirit. I'll be the opposing team. I'll circle Piggy's end the way I used to do at stake. Would you like me to hold your hat feeding. No I'll make this one with my head on. All right. What a wobbly pack. Well I got it. Almost got about. But I'll make it. 15 yards more. 10. Here he comes. For a tackle. You didn't make it. Mr. Gillis Lee. I know. Hoss tackle. Yeah but I had a big target. Yes yes. Here's your hat on. Thank you. You dropped your wallet and here's your pen and your else too. You really. Hello Irene. Isn't that a great shoestring tackle. It must have been. Here's your shoe. Rock Morton. Oh I wondered why I was limping. Piggy that was the best tackle you ever made. Thank you Dr. Olson. Dr. Olson. Hello Gillis Lee. Hello Clarence. Do you two know each other. I'll say. Do we know each other. Dr. Olson helps coach our backfield when he has a few minutes to spare. Yeah that's the greatest. That was a real football player. Well I was mentioned on a few All-American selections. Yeah but he won a few Liars contest too. Come on Piggy run out of time. Okay. Gillis Lee isn't this sort of thing a little too strenuous for you. What do you mean. Well when a person is your age you shouldn't get out on a football field old man. Oh man. I tried to talk more than it's hard to tell an old war. Here let me brush off your nice green suit. It's blue all that's grass staying and with a chalk strike right up the middle of your back. Are you all right. Of course I'm all right. Thank you. It's rock more than you gain weight even since I've seen you. That's quite a rubber tire you're smuggling around your middle. You're all right. Let's go home. I mean I think we'd better. Why don't I drive Irene Miss Henshaw home. Why should you drive her home. Well in a little while you'll be so sore and stiff you can't get out of the car. You think so doctor. Oh come along Irene. You'd better hurry home and take a hot tub tubby. Careful Olson. Thanks for driving me home truck Martin. Wait a minute. I'll come around and help you out of the car. Maybe I'd better come around and help you out of the car. No Irene. Are you sure you can walk. You of course. My foot went to sleep. Way up to my neck. Well I won't ask you in because I really think you'd better go home and have a hot bath. Stop worrying about what the doctor said. He isn't even a doctor. He's just an intern at the hospital. You seem to know a lot about him. Yeah I'll say I do. What's between you two boys rock more than there's nothing between us. Not even friendship. You know I wondered why he kept needling you this afternoon after you took that awful spill. He's probably jealous. Of why. Well he wanted to bring you home didn't he. If you don't think you'll get chilled out here in the port swing. I won't if I sit real close to you. About this jealousy you mentioned it so beautifully developed between you two it must have been going on for some time. Well every time I'm just about going steady with a girl he shows up. You mean you carry the ball to the goal line and he wants to make the touchdown. Yeah and if he doesn't watch it I'm going to kick him right between the goalposts. I take it that this rivalry dates back through quite a few girls. Oh no no Irene I don't get the wrong idea. I'm not the fickle type. I'm a one woman man. Well I'm not thinking of you I'm just wondering how sincere the doctor is. Well that's another thing. I remember when I was going with a nurse at the hospital a nurse. Yeah he tried to cut me out there and when I was going with Paula Winthrop he really got obnoxious. Paula Winthrop. Yeah and then when he broke that up he tried to beat my time with me Kelly. He's real fickle. Well I've learned a lot. You should know about him in case he asked you for a date. He has. He has. He asked me the first day he ever saw me. He did. Dr Olson is a very persuasive man. You didn't give him a date though did you. I was tempted but I didn't think I should on such short acquaintance. You're so right. Of course I feel I know him better now. He's moving in. Irene. Yes. How about a date tomorrow night. All right. Do you think you'll feel like it after your exercise. I'll feel like it. I'm all right. It's a date then. It's a date. Excuse me will you pass more than what I asked the phone. Well I'll have to run along soon. Take your time. By Georgia hot bath will feel good. Oh hello Dr Olson. Olson. You calling already. All right. I'll call you. He's breathing down my neck. I wish I hadn't gone out to the athletic field and made myself look silly in front of Irene. If I hadn't been there that Olson would have taken her home. And that piggy. He didn't have to tackle me so hard. I'm beginning not to like that boy. I am. Hello here I am. Hello Miss Gillis leave. Oh hello piggy. Piggy stand for dinner keen huh. Yeah very keen. Gosh Mr Gillis leave I'm sorry I tackled you so hard this afternoon. Just forget it piggy. I thought you'd sidestep the way Dr Olson does when he's coaching us. Let's forget Dr Olson too. I don't understand it piggy. When I was in college he said they used to call him swivel hips. Yeah but then he probably had more swivel and less hips. You say you're staying for dinner. Okay I'll lay off. Hey can we have a little football of yours in the attic. You're welcome to it. Thanks I don't care if I never hear about football again. Now I don't blame me after what happened in front of your Miss Henshaw. With Dr Olson around how long is she going to be his Miss Henshaw. All right that's carrying it far enough. I don't want to hear any more about football or Dr Olson. Is that clearly right. Piggy yes sir. Yes Bertie. You think you'll be able to take a little nourishment tonight. Why shouldn't I be able to take nourishment. I heard the boy say you got scrimmage this afternoon. It was nothing. Heard you got knocked back right out of your shoes. That's nothing. Well Miss Guilty you ought to take better care of yourself. Now Bertie you ought to go easy because you ain't no boy. I know but as many as men out of shape you out of shape. Bertie please. It's one thing you are you out of shape. Bertie I don't want to hear any more about it. I just made it clear to the boys and I think I should make it clear to you. Yes I'm just being a little sympathetic because you out of shape. Please don't mention my being out of shape again. Yes but I just feel sorry for you. Why should you feel sorry for me. Because you out of shape. Oh I give up. I've been in PD's and get a heating pad it'll probably take the catch out of my back. I don't want him to kid me though so I'll tell him the pads for somebody else. Hello. What can I do for you this morning. P.V. what do you have in the heating pad. I don't know I never looked inside. What I imagine that some rubber and a lot of wire thing. P.V. you know what I mean. I want to buy a heating pad. Of course it isn't for me you understand. Well I want to make that clear. There's no reason for me to buy a heating pad. Then you don't want it. Yes I'll buy it. You don't have to buy it if you don't want it. I want it. You know you're blowing hot and cold in this eating bag. Oh my God. That was a little bit of a little bit. Hot cold and heating pad. I get it. Not until you give me. Put it on my account. One heating pad on one cold account. You haven't bought much recently. Good morning. Dr. Olson. Why do I have to run it to him again. Hello. Glad to see you up and around. Why shouldn't I be up and around. I never felt better in my life. Well there'll be anything else besides the heating pad Mr. Gildersleeve. Gildersleeve buying a heating pad. This isn't for Mr. Gildersleeve. I'm buying it for a friend. Rapid as a gift P.V. My mind. I thought Gildersleeve might need a heating pad after seeing him on the football field yesterday. Now see here Olson I'm just as good an athlete as you. Oh now come now Gildersleeve. I'll admit my football playing days may be over. But what else do you do. You name the game. Well I'd like to play you a game of handball at the Y. You're on except the courts are being painted. We will have that one. Well as a doctor I might hesitate to recommend handball to a man in your shape and stop talking about my shape. How about Tiddly Wings Mr. Gildersleeve. Yes I'll tell you what Gildersleeve how about a game of badminton this evening. Badminton you play it with rackets and birds. I know but I have a date this evening. I realize that you do. Well I asked Irene to play badminton and she said she'd enjoy it but she had a date with you. Why can't the three of us play. Well unless you're afraid I'll show you up. Confounded we'll play badminton and I know get the bird. The great Gildersleeve will be back in just a minute. Here's news for every woman who loves a bargain crafts park a margarine makes it possible for you to get beautiful powers model nylon stockings at half price. These are lovely full fashioned nylon styled by John Robert Powers and worn by many of America's best dressed models. 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You can begin building a luxurious wardrobe of powers model nylons at half price tomorrow when you buy crafts park a margarine young Dr. Olson is proving to be a canny rival for the affections of this Irene Henshaw. He has found two glaring weaknesses in the armor of a great gilder sleeve shortness of wind and overweight however the water commissioner feels confident he can hold his own in a game of badminton. Yolson doesn't know I used to play a pretty good game of tennis and badminton is very similarly right. Yeah you're lucky young smaller court. Sure they'll make it easier smaller court smaller racket small bird so I'll beat all small chance. There's no exertion to this game you look how I handle the rack. Yeah you're dynamite I got to go away. Go ahead if you don't want to watch this form. Think I'll practice in front of the mirror. They wouldn't hurt to hit a bird here in the room there's a light. Where are the birds. Nobody I was calling Leroy. Oh yes. We're talking about the badminton bird bird. I can't catch with a racket in my. What kind of football is that it doesn't bounce. What's in there boy. It's full of being being like this my boy I feel the full of being to give away. You know I practice throwing this to develop my muscles and then when I pass a real football I'll throw it a mile. Oh my god. I'm going to have them drag me for dinner some night. Yeah what we're going to have now big beans out of football. I don't need them anyway. You know you threw me a pass yesterday. I've got to concentrate on this bad man. It does me a bird out of the box. Okay. Birds in the box and beans in the football. What does that come to do anyway. I reserved the court for two hours killed a slave I hope that isn't too long for you. Not for me. No Irene why don't I play you when you're the slave. Oh brother does he think he's good. Well I've never played badminton Clarence I'll just watch you boy. All right. When my worthy opponent has had enough I'll give you a lesson. Let's take the other court killed the slave and we'll warm up. I'm warm. I'll have the birds flying by him so fast they think a flock of geese went through the gymnasium. Shall we rally the service. What does that mean. You well it means three times over the net and the first one who misses loses the serve. Oh here we go. One. Two. I know. Now as I understand Clarence serves. Yes. I read you're catching under this game in a hurry. Thank you. I'll bet if you came out with me a couple of nights a week in no time at all. You ready. Waiting is an easy one. He's dropping right over the net. I'll have to run for it. At the night. Over my head. He's running me to death. I hate to do this to your old man. He come to the net again. Didn't think I'd get it. What I read. He's gone far as he loved it over my head. I'll show you. The mistake. Wounded. Well you're going to play or just stand there holding up the wall. Well I do have a little Charlie horse I guess. They sit down for a while. You did very well. Mark Morton sit down here by me. Thank you. Irene Irene you can't just sit there. Come out on the court now teach you something about the game. Darn him. I think I'd enjoy the game. I'd enjoy teaching you. Wait a minute. I'm ready to play again. No you're listening. No no rest. Doctors orders. Sure. Now. Now what do I do Clarence. Well first Irene I teach you how to hold the right. I'll have to put my arms around you to show you the grip. What is he a doctor or a Swiss masseuse. That's the idea. Now relax while I show you how to swing. All right. How's your Charlie horse Mark Morton. Great. I got a Charlie horse in my head for ever coming out here. I'm not going dancing tonight. Yes. That child got you down. You know it isn't that Bertie I could dance all right. Yes. You could dance in one spot. Everything don't have to move just cause you dancing. I'm staying home Bertie. How about you take me out to the dance. No Bertie when I phoned her today. It was too late. That Dr. Olson beat you to it. Huh. He's beating me soundly football bad man. Romance Bertie please. I don't want to ever hear that word again. I'm through. Well that's a good time to quit when she says you're through. Bertie she didn't exactly say that. And I know when I'm late. Yes. I've never been eased out in such a sneaky way. A big show off. Human is tight pitting T shirts. And Irene fell for old muscle bound. Now Mr. Gil please you give up too easy. This handshow ain't the flighty tight. Oh yes she is. You should have seen her when Olson was teaching her to play badminton. Maybe one could keep an eye on the bird. Oh I think who's at the door. Yeah all right. I guess I can't blame Olson for liking an attractive girl by George it's Irene's fault. If I ever see her again I'll tell her I never want to see her again. Don't leave it in the head show. Irene. Hello Rockmore. Am I glad to see you. I'm glad you're glad. You think it's terrible of me to stop by. Yeah I think it's wonderful. Olson isn't waiting in the car. No of course not. I stopped by to see if you still want to take me to dance. You bet I do. I thought you had a date. I'd rather go with you and now I can. What happened to the ham athlete. Dr. Olson had to go to the hospital. Hospital duty. He's a patient tonight. Well what. Well he got a little too athletic and came down with a badly sprained toe. Bullied for him. There was a football on the field this afternoon and he said watch me kick it through the goal post. And then you know the strangest thing happens Rockmore and he ran up kicked it and beans scattered all. Well Doc got some of his own medicine. He will be with us again in just 30 seconds. Tomorrow is the day to buy crafts wonderful park a margarine the margarine that spread smoothly even when ice cold you'll enjoy a park a freshness and flavor and you'll also enjoy the opportunity to build a glamorous hosiery wardrobe at half price in every package of park a margarine you'll find full instructions for ordering famous powers model nylon stockings for just seventy five cents when you go shopping tomorrow remember to get craft delicious smooth spreading margarine park a margarine. The nurse said Dr. Olson was in this room. Rockmore. Good. Let's hurry and see him so we can be on our way to the dance. You know it's very considerate of you to bring him a gift. You know I mean this is my way of forgiving him for ribbing me about my Charlie horse you go in first. Clarence Come in. How nice of you to come see me. Clarence. How's the spring. Oh it's better. How did you ever get rid of that big fat water. I didn't see you. I know. Now Clarence that's no way to talk about a man who's bringing you a gift. A gift from Gilda sleep. So soon on our way to the dance tonight. I wanted to give you my heating pad. You know this. Good night. I mean I didn't see you ever. In the past the water. He didn't leave them to the grand musical composition by Jack. This is John Houston saying good night for the craft food company makers of the famous line of craft quality food products. Be sure to listen in next week and every week for the further adventures of the great Gilda sleep. What goes in your favorite sandwich. Maybe it's roast beef or savory baked ham. Whatever your favorite the perfect meat sandwich needs the perfect mustard craft prepared mustard for when you add a little mustard you add a lot of time. You can take your choice of two kinds of craft mustard mild craft mustard is smooth and delicately spiced or if you like your mustard with extra pep try craft mustard with snappy horseradish added keep them both on hand and keep everyone in the family happy next time get craft prepared mustard. Now play you bet your life with Groucho on the NBC radio network.