 Don't let me drown Okay, it's welcome back. If you're new here, hi, hello, my name is Lydia. Hi, I've decided that I want to talk to you a little bit about just my life, life update. As you can see, I'm getting more homely in my new place. Unicorn City, Hello City, me. All in all, I moved in, ish. I'm under the home treatment team. Majority of you will know that. No, my hat got wet while I was out. I'm under the home treatment team's care. The home treatment team come out and see me every day. They're actually presumed to be here very soon, actually. And basically, I get given my medication every day. Currently, they're treating me for a hypomanic episode. Um, I don't know what this means, diagnosis-wise, because I believe you have to be bipolar to experience hypomania. And at this current moment in time, as far as I'm aware, I'm not diagnosed with a disorder. So I don't know what's going on there. I'm waiting for a medication review and to see a consultant. I've been referred to art psychotherapy, like suicide loss, counselling, and, like, so daily check-ups. And they see me daily, giving me medication daily. My medication is the same as it was before. Neurazepam, quittiopean, clonazepam, venlafaxium. They are my current medications. I was taking soppy clothes at night because I can't sleep very well. And I know it's not good to take it all the time, but I do. And I have to, because I can't sleep. I don't try to sleep and be away. Because my thoughts at the moment are very racy and get very busy. And my emotions are very up. And I keep trying to ground myself and be like, that's not a rational thought. That's not a rational thought. That's not a rational thought. And it's hard to explain. Like, I'm going to be talking to someone later about it. Like, I'm going to be talking to the pain treatment team about it. Some really, really, really irrational thoughts. And then I'm just like, like, I know irrational. No. But like at the time, I'm just like, oh, that's actually logical. For instance, last night I started thinking, well, I try to kill myself all these times. So maybe I'm just immortal. And like, it's such a fucking irrational thought. But I was able to justify it to myself. And for a good hour, I believe this. Today, I've been out. I didn't really do much out. Yeah. I don't know. I'm in a really weird headspace at the moment because I've never felt this up. Like, I've never felt this up, even when I did cocaine back in the day. I never felt this up. And right now I feel like I could do everything. Like, let's make a change. I'm not normally like this. So, but I guess this is where we are at in my life. And I don't really have much more to add. I'm currently getting treated for a hypomania. So they want to increase my chlamazepam, increase my chlotypine, and potentially add a mood stabilizer. Which, I used to be on a hypomania. So, I need to sit down face to face with a consultant. So, that's fun. That's about a bit of my life, really. I moved a few more things. I will insert the moving vlog now. Hey, got the sunglasses on. It's like, moving vlog part two. I'm going to head over to Wembley. My goal with this room is to turn it into like a bit of a sensory den. Like, I want it to be all like, like I've got my libelies in there. I'm very light. I want to set up textures in a minute. About to go. You might work off to the underground station and to come back to Wembley to get more of my YouTube set stuff. So I can get back to doing filming daily stuff because I want to start uploading more and I can't because I don't have a decent setup yet. But you guys might think it looks set up and nice and whatever. I'm not happy yet because I haven't got fairy lights. I'm plugging on my phone while I'm out because my camera's in my bag. And yeah, just going to go back to my flat to get my stuff. Normally I'm like, I'm just a vlog on the underground. There's no one here, so I don't come out. In the bay, people think that living in London is so grand. Doing all the filming myself today, which is like, ah, I'm very literally on my own in here. Like, there's no one else in this carriage or it's why I'm vlogging. So I'm heading to Empty Central to meet up with the viewer and then to get a coffee and then I'm going to carry on moving. So that's my morning. My phone's on 3% which is great. My job now is to decide, simply decide what I want to take with me today. So this is like moving vlog part two, really. I know I'm sure. I'm so sure. I'm going to have to put the tilt in upwards so you get the unattractive angles of me. Do I have an energy drink? I have an energy drink. These things are my life. I'm moving, I swear. All right, today I'm taking over all my YouTube-ery stuff so I can get settled and, you know, get back to doing videos. So, chuck everything little and put that back. I think I've got about as much as I can carry. Um, have you got my bag? I'm doing a spy of the underground. Oh my, everyone. So it's like, how much can I realistically juggle? And the answer is not a lot. I have no idea what's in a shot and what's not, but I've got my backpack, two bags. I hope to God my rooster card works because my purse is buried underneath stuff in the bags. I've got to carry my camera around my neck. Fun. The phone is there. Keys are there. Yeah, that's about it. Let's head off. So I didn't end the video yesterday. I've ordered something, actually. I'm tired. It's past half an hour. Q and A. Um, London to another, especially via the road and the underground, is the worst thing ever. Like you could just, theoretically, you just need like a helicopter to just pick it up and then bring it now. And that would work. That would be brilliant. I don't know if I'll have so much easier, but no. I'll just move in via the underground. I want to give a quick shout out to my Patreons, which are Ja, Ryan True, Izzy Watkins, Bihotower, and Agni, Agnias on the screen. Sorry. Please send me an audio clip or I'd say it. Thank you guys so much for watching. If you'd like to be featured in the next end screen card thing, become a Patreon. My Patreon link is in the description down below, along with all the other links to my stuff, like my book and my Patreon, my PayPal. Everything goes down there. Even the equipment I use on my videos. How amazing. I think there's also a delivery code about that too. Thank you guys so much for watching. I'll catch you in the next one. Peace.