 The makers of Wrigley Spearman's Shoeing Gum invite you to enjoy life. Life with Luigi, a comedy show created by Psy Howard and starring that celebrated actor, Mr. J. Carol Lash with Alan Reed is described. As you know, millions of people all over America enjoy shoeing Wrigley Spearman's gum every day. In offices, shops, and factories, on farms, in mines, in oil fields. Folks find Wrigley Spearman helpful while they work, and they enjoy it at other times too. The makers of Wrigley Spearman are glad that their product is making life a little easier and pleasanter for so many people, and they're glad to be able to bring you this radio program like with Luigi, which like Wrigley Spearman's Shoeing Gum is brought to you for your enjoyment and satisfaction. And now let's read Luigi's letter as he writes about his adventures in America to his mama Vasco in Italy. There's the one bigger thing about America, and that's the ways that they got to for doing a business. How do I remember when I was the first to come here, was the biggest sign, and it's to say, buy now, pay later. Well, I'm about to write away what, but there was a bigger trouble. They know what to wait for later enough. I'm about to food the mixer, toaster, electric clock, oven, and a percolator. Then there came a timer for the first to payment, and the mama here, mama had the emptiest of kitchen in the Chicago. But still, mama got used to these things, and when mama got the money later on, I'm about them, and that's America. Everybody is about everything. Yesterday, mama had a headache, so mama went to the drugstore for a little box of aspirin. After a half hour, mama bought the searcher light, the two package of Piper Cleaners, 30 foot of plastic garden hose, and the $0.89 a special lunch, because we were walking around so much, mama got a big appetite. There was only one thing mama didn't buy, the little box of aspirin. Mama had no money left for this. But then, especially in the big department of stores, you see smart the business. If it's something don't sell for $2 in a bargain of basement, they push them up to the fourth floor. Raise the price to $5, and everybody is a killer of themselves to buy. So mama tried to keep in my antique shop like a big store and a big business, a man of myself. And you should see me a little while ago when a lady is about the antique for $20, and she's the same. Would you accept my check? Well, certainly, madam. I'm a little business just like a big department of stores. Of course you've got to identify yourself. Oh, well, let me see what I have in my purse. You see, I'm from California, and I don't have my driver's license or anything. Oh, say, this is a nice, nice picture. Thank you. These are my two children standing with me. Well, it's a look-alike of you, and if you say they're your two children, that's a prove it to you, so you identify yourself. No. Pianna, you don't have to pay cash. You're going to pay by check. And if you want, I take an installment of plan. How's it about? Oh, no, no, thank you. Well, here you are. And I've had just as much fun shopping here as I would at any big department store. Oh, well, thank you. And come again, please. Goodbye. Well, Mamma Mia, how's it at? My first customer by check. I'm a big man, you know? Well, I could hardly wait to tell my friends in a night's school about... Quiet, please. We have a lot to do tonight, so I'll dispense with the roll call. Oh, no, Ms. Farling, please, call the roll. Well, why, Mr. Schultz? When you say Mr. Schultz, and I say here, that's going to be the only correct answer I give all night. Well, let's see if you can't surprise us. Reviewing our grammar will begin with a punctuation mark. Mr. Schultz? Surprise! Well, I didn't ask the question yet. What is a dash? A 50-yard dash or a 100-yard dash. That is not funny. Give us a sentence illustrating a dash. All right. The girl asked for some scotch with a dash of soda. No, no. Ms. Farling, you want you to drink it straight? Mr. Basko, will you help me out? Sure, you want to pay cash with a check. What? Or maybe you like a better installment plan? Mr. Harrowitz, can you answer the question? Ms. Farling, if Luigi and Schultz couldn't don't expect medicals from me. Ms. Farling, may I tell you all about the dash so we can be true with it? There he goes, a true blue orange. Mr. Schultz? That's quite all right, Ms. Farling. I will just ignore the yes thing. Now, about the dash. A dash is used to show an unexpected turn of thought in a sentence. Very good. Now give us an example. The judge sentenced four men to jail. John, Harold, James and Jack. And they deserved it. Oh, how sadistic can you get? That was excellent, Mr. Olson. Now, Mr. Basko, I shall repeat the sentence. The judge sentenced four men to jail. John, Harold, James and Jack. And they deserved it. Now, where would you place the dash? Between a John and a Jack. No. Between Harold and a Jack. No. Between a James and a Jack. No. Himmel, it looks like Jack is going to take the rap for the whole garden. That will be enough out of you, Mr. Schultz. And it's for you, Mr. Basko. No, no, no, please, please, Ms. Farling. Don't have been mad at me. I'm going to hardly take my lessons. Today I'm going to make my first big business deal. I'm sold and antique and it took a Jack in a return. That's a big step for me. Always I'm going to have the cash to feel it safe. But now I'm American, I'm going to take a Jack. Don't talk so fast, Luigi, if that Jack bounces, you'll wish you were Italian again. That's not true at all, Schultz. Even for a joke. Luigi, I know how you feel. I was the same way when I first came over. Congratulations, Luigi. And I hope you continue to learn so your business can increase twofold. My congratulations, too, Mr. Basko. I want to thank you, class. Right now I'm going to feel so good all I'm going to want to do is spend the $20. Oh, Luigi, that's the best you can do. The first thing a smart businessman learns is to have some money put away. So when a good buy comes along, he has the cash for it. Or a check. Or a check. If either you or I would open up a savings account immediately, that's smart advice, Luigi. The man who saves money today is wise. Do you mean I should take this at 20 and a no-celebrate? I should have put it away? Exactly. If you feel that money is extra money, put it in the bank. Luigi, even I agree with that. Today, the money you make in your paycheck, it's like salami. The government takes a slice. A slice goes off of social security. Another slice for the landlords, the gas, the electric telephone company. Two slices for a sandwich. And if you've got a slice left over for the bank, put it in quick before the dog gets it. All right. Excuse me, Mr. Bankatella. I'm going to want to start the checking account. I'm wondering you should save my money for me. How much do you charge? Absolutely nothing, sir. The bank pays you. Huh? The bank is watching my money and then they pay me for this? That's our interest. Hmm, I didn't know you was so interested. How much are you going to pay me? One percent per annum. All right, then. This annum, she's a get-a-one-a-per-center, but how much am I going to get there? Per annum means yearly. For instance, if you deposit $1,000, one percent would be $10,000. $10,000 would be $100, and $100,000 would be $1,000. How much are you starting your deposit with? $20. I see. Well, small deposits grow to large deposits. At the end of the year, the bank will give you $0.20 for your $20. If you don't mind, I'm a rather half of the $20. Oh, no, the $20 is yours plus the $0.20. Oh, well, well, that sounds wonderful. That's a really big business. All right, I start. Fair to have you. Every year, the bank will pay you interest on your principal. Money for my principal? That's right. Please, if you've got to give it a $0.20, don't give it my principal. Give it my teacher, Miss Baldwin. She's my friend. Oh, Luigi, hello, hello. Hello, Pascale. Pascale, I've got a bigger surprise. Look, look at what I've got there. A bank book. Luigi, when you find those things, you should turn it right over to the cops. No, Pascale. This is the bank book. It's mine. Customers give me check for antique, and my night school classes advise me to open a savings account, and that this is the book. Oh, so you've been taking advice from those paupers in your class. You buried that check in a bank, huh? What's the matter? Is there something wrong? Luigi, I'm not saying a nothing, but if you want to jump off the bridge, who am I to stop you? I just want to say one thing. Have you ever seen any millionaires in the bank? Well, I don't know. Millionaires, they look like everybody else. Let me answer for you. No. If the JP Rockefeller calls up J.D. Morgan, and he says, how's about a $2 million loan? What do you think Morgan's going to say? What? He says, I'll let you know tomorrow. Meanwhile, let me sleep on it. You know what this means? No. It means he's a kid with money and is a mattress. It's obvious. Luigi, if I'm a told you once, I'm never told you. Don't ever do those crazy things without asking me. I'm sorry, Pascuali. Maybe I'm not the smartest a fellow in the world, but I keep my money in a mattress, and I learned this from a hard experience. Why, in five years in America, you know, Luigi, I got the type of head that soaks up experience like a sponge. Yeah, that's right, Pascuali. Everybody says you're a real sponge ahead. That's a funny thing. When I say it, it's a come out differing. Let me explain to you something to my little banana nose. Since when is there someone to pay somebody for doing them a favor? Hmm, I thought it was something funny about it. Hmm, beginning to get a little sense in that cabbage you had. Luigi, look, if somebody comes into my spaghetti palace to eat, do I pay him? Well, last week, I saw you give a money to customer. Actually, they've really got sick, and I wanted to shut him up. Luigi, nobody pays and nobody to do him a favor. Now, look, you want me to call to the bank and get him married and make him give you back your money? No, no, no, Pascuali. I'm going to want to make it trouble. I'm going to go nice and get my money back. All right. Just to walk in slow so the bank guards don't get suspicious. All right. And then, sit around the table a little bit to fill up your fountain and pen. Not too much, but I think you hoard an ink. Make a few pitches on the blotter, and then walk over to the teller. How do you do, Mr. Bank of Teller? I'm a Luigi basketball the new fella here. Do you remember my bank book? Certainly. Were you having some trouble filling out a slip? No. I was just drawn a few pitches. Oh, yes. You spend my money yet? I don't think so. You think if I'm a took out, would it be bad for you? Of course not. Then I'm a take out. Well, I don't like to be inquisitive, but is there a reason? No reason. What is it? Just I'm a lonely without it. Well, all right. Oh, you started with a $20 check on the California bank, didn't you? Oh, yes, sir. Well, it was one of my out of town of customers. Well, I'm afraid I can't let you have your money. What? That's right. I just noticed your book number, and I remember you remembered. Hell, you can't do this. Your money isn't available for withdrawal. Never mind. Don't bother to explain. I'm going to want the trouble. But you don't understand. No, I'm going to understand. That's what it was all right. I'm sure I never come here. I'm going to put the money in the bank yesterday, and today I'm out of business. Before we return to life with Luigi, we'd like to mention the refreshment you can get from a stick of Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum. These days, when you spend a lot of time indoors, your mouth and throat are apt to feel unpleasantly dry. Well, just slip a stick of delicious Wrigley's Spearmint Gum into your mouth, start to chew and see what a difference it makes. A lively, full-bodied, real spearmint flavor quickly freshens your taste. And the chewing moistened your throat and helps keep your mouth feeling refreshed and comfortable. It's weakened your breath, too. So always keep a package of refreshing Wrigley's Spearmint Gum handy. Enjoy chewing Wrigley's Spearmint often, every day. Now, let's turn to page two of Luigi Vasco's letter to his mother and if only. And I show Mama Mia what I'm a thought that was a big step in my life as American businessman is not to turn out to too good. My trouble in the bank would have never happened if I'm a no-toker customer as a checker. But anyway, I'm a went-to-public library and I found out that in early American days there was no credit in the store. So I'm going to come back to my antique shop and I'll put up a sign. Is it say, Washington and the Lincoln are paying the cash? Why can't they owe? But is it making no difference because there are no customers as they come in? So I'm a sitting in my store ashamed to see Pasquale when my door is open up. Luigi, my fellow boob, give me what's the matter? You got a face that would make a dachshund look happy. So, Sam, I have a trouble with the bank. Yesterday I'm a putting the money like you told me. Yeah, yesterday you put it in. Well, today I'm a went-to-public library. One day later, Luigi with you, cold cash, don't even get a chance to warm up. Why did you take it out the money? Well, Pasquale is a told me that the fellow's in no sleep on the bank, but he's got $2 million in a mattress. Oh, Luigi, are you for shimmels? Why do you even listen to that Pasquale? If he had his way, the government would close up all the banks and open up one giant mattress. Yeah, instead of the Marshall plant, it would be the mattress plant. Yeah, but it shows that Pasquale was right. I went to get back my money and a man in the cage used to say no. Oh, that's funny. Church, you think the bank is empty inside? Luigi, I think it's empty inside your head. Then maybe you explain to me why I'm a no-get-to-my-money. Yeah, well, I wish I could. Luigi, why don't you go down to the bank and speak to the manager? The manager? Sure, every bank has started the manager. Go down and ask questions. Yeah, but, Church, do you think this is going to make trouble? Luigi, is such a question from you? You are always saying, in America, a fella can go any place, do anything, ask any questions he wants. Hey, Schultz, I don't know, but maybe America has changed. No, Luigi, you have changed. We've got the same losses now as we had when you came here. It's up to you to keep them. Schultz, you're right. I'm not going to go and ask you questions. In America, we ask you questions and we get answers. Sure. And I thank you, Schultz, for your help. That's nothing, Luigi. No. Schmile. All right. Oh, sure, Luigi. Be like me. Always happy, always loving. My rheumatism is killing me. Mr. Hawkins, you're the only man who's not going to catch you, so you must be the manager. Yeah. Won't you sit down? Anything I can do for you. Oh, I'm just the one asking a few questions. How it feels to be manager such a big bank, Mr. Hawkins? Oh, it's all right. You make a nice living? Well, the rewards are ample, I dare say. You dare say, huh? The bank is always got the money to pay you your salary on a Saturday night. I'm sure you didn't come here to ask me about my personal affairs. I'm sorry, Mr. Hawkins, but you see, I'm got a no-counting of your bank. My name is Luigi Basko. Glad to have you, Mr. Basko. Just what is your problem? Oh, he's in no trouble, in no trouble at all. You see, I'm a businessman, Mr. Hawkins, and I like all the good of business, a man. I'm a thought, I'm like to know how safe is it a place where I'm keeping my money? Well, a very good thought. Oh, thank you. Well, let's take a look at our latest report. Assets 1,503,487,921 dollars and 12 cents. Must have been a one-up poor fella. Yeah. Poor fellow? Who? The fella who's had put in a 12 cents. Yeah. Look here, sir, for $20, do you want me to show you the bank's balance sheet? Please, I'ma don't want to see nothing. I'ma just don't want to know one thing, why $20? Mr. Vasco, I've tried to explain to you, just tell the bank invest your money, and if you want... But who's to ask you to invest it? I'ma just ask you to watch it before me. Why to understand, Mr. Vasco, a bank cannot allow its money to remain idle. Mr. Hawkins, I'ma no care how lazy my money is as long as you keep them in a bank. That's not... That's not sound business practice. And if we did do that, how could people build houses? Make repairs if we didn't loan the money. Uh-huh. So you took all my money and alone with somebody? Who was it? I'ma want to see this, a man. Is it gonna honest the face, or how am I gonna know? It's not loaned. Perhaps it's right in the vault. All right, open up at the vault. Mr. Vasco, we do not open up the vaults. The money is strongly guarded. It's a mine, and I'ma want to see it. Well, perhaps it's not even there. No, then where is it then? Perhaps in bonds. In a bond so you can't buy bonds, it would have $20. Well, perhaps in stock. We have many stocks, I, T and T, Santa Fe Railway. Santa Fe Railway, how much is the cost at the stock? Well, I believe it's about 20. 20? There's no my money. There's no my money. Why do you give the railroad out of my money? Mr. Vasco, we didn't give it to them. Oh, they took it. Some of the customers are buy a ticket to New York. These are changes of mind. Take it back at the ticket, and there it goes in my $20. How am I gonna find out how safe it is in my money? Mr. Vasco. No, stop with me. I'ma go to the railroad company right now. I'm asking questions. I'm asking the questions, and I get it the answer. That's America. Vasco, I've told you. The president of Santa Fe does not speak to people without appointments. Oh, well, he's gonna talk it to me. Just tell him it's Luigi Vasco fellow who's a giver here that I love to company $20. $20? That's right, the $20. My bank is alone without my permission, so now I'ma come and collect it. Just a minute. All right. Patty. Patty, some best pair you want to see your boss. Will you please brush him off? Thanks. All right, Mr. Vasco, you can see Mr. Crofim now, 18th floor. Well, I thank you, young lady, and I'ma heard what you said about her brushing me off. But I don't know why. If I'ma get her back in my money, she's gonna have to clean in my suit then. Come in, Mr. Vasco. You've been out there three hours making a commotion. You're a very persistent stockholder. Here, have a cigar. Oh, a cigar, huh? You're a wife who doesn't have a baby? No, it's a custom. We like to be nice. How much should these cigars cost? A dollar each. A dollar, huh? How you can do such a thing? Do what? If you're so poor, you gotta lend a $20 from me. You should've smoked a cheaper cigar. Yo, you have a wonderful sense of humor, sir. What's your problem? I'ma want my $20. Well, this is silly. We're a railroad company. We don't give you money. Oh, you ain't got it. That the fellow who went to New York is an old god just like Emma said. Please, I'm too busy to waste my time. Miss Burton, we always like to please our stockholders, but I thought it was something important. Well, it sure is important. It's very important. You took my money. That's ridiculous, Miss Burton. Well, please, please, don't get excited. I'ma know like to squeeze you for the money. But if you don't got the cash, maybe you pay me back like a bigger business in an installment. What? All right, I'll take a check, even if it's no good. You're being absurd. But what? Absurd. I'ma know what this means, but I'ma think it's no good. Look, I'ma got a wonderful idea. Keep with the money. Give me $20 of what the trolley carat transfer is. Miss Burton, pull this man out. All right, all right, all right, go, I go. But I'ma learn to my lesson. Good. Isn't all good. And if you ever need a $20 again, don't come to me. You've been all day, Luigi. Stayin' closer to my apron strings, I hope. Pascuali, I'ma have a terrible day. You was right. Bankers don't want to give me back my money because they lend it to a relative of the company. I'ma want that to get at the back and that's what I'm expected. That trouble, that trouble I'ma never had with a my mattress. Luigi, it's too bad, but you were in the worst trouble of your life. What the trouble, Pascuali? Lending the money without a license. Yeah, but... What about the bankers that lend the money? Was they using your capital? Yes. It's even worse, you got to suffer capital punishment. Capital? Come on, my man. Well, don't worry, Luigi. Pascuali is your friend. I know some big shots you maybe could help you out. But you know why I only do these things for fellas what's happened to be my selling laws. You manneristic. What do you say, my son? Well, I was... Mr. Vasco. Mr. Hopkins. Mr. Vasco, I'm glad I found you in. I've come to give you your $20. Here, it's from my own pocket. What? You mean the bank is a broker, but are you making a good one? No, no, no, it's not that. No, you see, your check was issued on the California bank, and we can't pay you back until the check clears. Is it that a clearing? You mean it was a dirty check? No, no, no. It simply means it must be honored on its own. Oh, well, what's the use? It's practically never that someone questions our bank, and I think I can take a chance and give you my money. I'll get it in a few days. Grab it, Luigi. Be kind to your mattress. No, no, no, Pascuali. If for such a bigger man like Mr. Hopkins does it take a chance? I'm going to take a chance, too. I'm glad you said that, Mr. Basko, and try to remember, your bank is something like a friend to you. Well, of course, we're in business to make money from your money, but it's us. And as a matter of fact, we're as solid as... well, as solid as the rock of Gibraltar. Well, that's solid enough for me, Mr. Hopkins. Here, have a cigar. That's a better one. And I'm going to walk over to you to the bank. Thank you. Hey, Luigi, where you going? How's about a rosa? No, Pascuali. We don't talk about a rosa. But why now? One of the rackets you brought is enough for one a day. Well, Mamma Mia, everything has come out of hand. And I'm still going along with a big business. And I'm a lender that the banks are a wonderful thing. Later on, I'm going to try to talk to Pascuali and to put his money into my bank. But was him a possible? He's still a want to keep it in the same place. I'm going to tell him maybe somebody's coming in to steal it. But he's a short to me, and I'm wrong. Mamma Mia, you should have said it. Look at that, Pascuali's a mattress. You're loving a son, Luigi Bascuali, the little immigrant. Friends, the makers of Wrigley's Spearman Chewing Gum hope you've enjoyed tonight's episode of Life with Luigi, and they want to remind you that wherever you go, it's a good idea to have a package of delicious Wrigley's Spearman gum along with you. In this way, you always have a tasty, refreshing treat right at your fingertips to enjoy whenever you want. It's a friendly thing to offer Wrigley's Spearman to other folks too. They appreciate your thoughtfulness. So carry a package of healthful, delicious Wrigley's Spearman Chewing Gum in your purse or pocket at all times. See for yourself how often every day you're glad to have some Wrigley's Spearman with you. The makers of Wrigley's Spearman Chewing Gum invite you to listen next week at this time when Luigi Bascual writes another letter to his mama Bascuali in Italy. Life with Luigi is a Psy Howard production and is directed by Mr. Howard. Mack Benhoff writes the script with Lou Dermott. J. Carol Nash is starred as Luigi Bascual with Alan Redis Bascuali, Bob Conley to Schultz, Mary Schiff as Miss Faulding, Joe Forte as Horowitz, and Ken Peters as Orson. Music is under the direction of Lodg Luskin. Bob Stevenson speaking, this is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.