 So the four ceremony just ended a couple of hours ago and I am shocked. I have experienced about 50 to 100 deaths of myself in one night. I was on me fighting with demons, my demons and the demons of someone else that was in the place as well and I was just gone and off and on and off and alive and dead and alive and dead and you know there was a moment where I only saw like it was dark and I couldn't see anything. It was like the end. There was nobody anymore, no more life in me. Only I could hear my heartbeat like bee and that was it. Very traumatic, very hard, by the end. I never thought I'd gonna find myself back here again. Seriously just three weeks ago another ayahuasca retreat was the last thing on my mind but then something extraordinary happened. Now picture this I'm strolling through the forest surrounded by nature's beauty when suddenly I feel a strong pull as if the universe itself is whispering in my ear saying Greg it's time for another ayahuasca retreat and guess what? I couldn't resist the call. Now here I am sitting at this breathtaking ayahuasca retreat center in Malaga called APL Journeys. To be honest I'm really excited about the experience that awaits me but at the same time I'm very very nervous because I'm not sure if I'm ready for it. Am I? Well the next seven days will definitely be extraordinary but let's see if I can handle it. As the day drew nearer a mix of nerves and anticipation consumed me. I knew deep down that this journey would redefine my life in unimaginable ways. The unknown beckoned and I was about to dive headfirst into the depths of my own consciousness. The moment has arrived. I'm in the sacred ceremony space where soon enough I will have to surrender to the ancient medicine and allow its wisdom to guide me through the labyrinth of my soul. Luckily I won't be alone in this endeavor. I'll be under the guidance of one of the most remarkable shamans in the world who will lead the ceremonies. Gosh I'm so nervous. So I just finished my first ceremony at the APL in Spain and it was not what I expected. I didn't purge and I yoned a lot but not purge in a typical way and I didn't go as deep as I thought I'm gonna go because I was really calm before the experience but really calm and I drank two cups not many people did but well actually some people did yeah maybe maybe half of them I didn't remember actually I was one of the first guys there because I was sitting very close to the shaman so I don't know and it was like for most of the night nothing really happened I was really trying to let go I mean I was really trying to just calm and I was really calm but then all of a sudden like my face started moving around in really weird ways I was like twisting a bit I had really I felt like really painful here pain in my ear which is really weird I don't know why and then I saw colors different colors some shapes I think and that was it and then I got out and I saw the sky and the sky was beautiful still is I think the sky was beautiful yeah I didn't I thought I'm gonna go deeper but now when I'm thinking about it I went quite deep just it was in a more subtle way maybe I don't know I don't know if this makes sense yeah but that's how I feel at the moment yeah it was on my first night I tried to go to bed now and then we'll have a second night soon I guess so yeah I'll try to make some more videos if I feel like it the first night is usually the most challenging one because you don't know what to expect so either you can't let it go because you're afraid of what would happen or you let it go and you couldn't believe what happened either way it's tough so my second ceremony my second ceremony was brutal it was extreme it was just crazy now I wasn't able to film directly after it I just had no I couldn't move I couldn't walk so I'm feeling this right now but that was just extreme so the first part of the night was wow I mean that so many bad memories came up it was so intense I mean at our moment there were so many moments when I thought like yeah that's it I mean I cannot do this shit anymore like please you know save me like you know stop this please please please because it was just insane I was just going insane like it was wild but then the second part was like the most amazing the most amazing experience in my life I was able to do stuff which which are really hard to explain I would need more time to think about it but I just got all the answers that I wanted to get really deep profound questions I had before and I got all the answers to those questions and it was just pure bliss and love and happiness and really really nice but overall you know it really destroyed me it was it went on for the whole night basically I slept maybe like an hour so and I couldn't walk for most of the night I couldn't understand the concept of my legs I mean as I said it was brutal I was like living in a different world different reality and that was it and that was it yeah now I have the third ceremony and then the fourth and then the fifth one I see what happens let's see experts say that I was like a mother that is going to slap you until you get what you need to heal and that's exactly how it feels like after you take it she's playing with you like professionals plays with an amateur and she manipulates you in a way to have no chance against her she does all of that just to teach you a lesson and the lesson is the most profound lesson everyone should learn you're not perfect and you will never be but you're enough and until you really believe that you will never feel that way hello hello so my third ceremony just ended and it lasted for like 12 hours so it started about nine in the evening and I just woke up at around nine in the morning or about eight eight thirty I think uh what you're saying yeah for the first half an night I didn't expect it to happen I was like shit you know I'm again overthinking or maybe I didn't drink enough enough ayahuasca maybe I should uh I don't know maybe I want too much you know I'm like am I just too active but when the ceremony closed at about after four hours officially I mean it just kicked in like I was very very late but it just kicked in and I was able to ask questions I got the answers I was ah I was yeah there's so many things that happened in one night it's just crazy there's just so much there's so much love as well it's a positive experience biased while I feel really tired right now to be honest I'm like yeah really tired and it takes a long nap today because we have the fourth ceremony in a couple of hours which is I don't know how I'm gonna drink again I was because it really makes me sick now I'm just thinking about it that's disgusting but you gotta do what you gotta do right that's what I say so yeah two more nights and then let's see so powerful this is so powerful man so the fourth ceremony just ended a couple of hours ago and I am shocked I have experienced about 50 to 100 deaths of myself and in one night I was um yeah fighting with demons my demons and the demons of someone else that was in the place as well and I was just on and off and on and off in alive and dead and alive and dead and you know there was a moment where I only saw like it was dark and I could I couldn't see anything it was like the end there was nobody anymore no more life in me only I could hear my heartbeat like b and that was it very traumatic very hot but at the end um I know why this happened and it was definitely worth going through that process and yeah it's funny it like even if you have the hardest trip of your life you wake up in the morning and you get this profound knowledge this profound experience that just changes everything and in this case it changed it as well I don't know you need to you need to mental and yeah mental energy and stamina to endure but um but if you do you're gonna be very very grateful because in just four days your child your life will change forever that's what I can promise you now I think it's time for me to take a short nap because I haven't slept at all maybe two hours in total in the past two days and yeah I'm very tired after the roughest and most challenging four nights in a row the ceremonies finally ended and I felt this huge relief in my heart but at the same time I was sad about it at that moment I understood that I would never be the same again and that Greg who came to this retreat is not the one that would leave the retreat I also knew it was time for a new chapter in my life and I knew very well that I was ready for it my second encounter with ayahuasca became one of the most dramatic events of my life it transformed me in ways I could never have imagined the visions unfolded like vivid paintings revealing the depths of my soul and unearning hidden truths in that sacred space I confronted my deepest fears and found the strength to heal wounds that had haunted me for years as I emerged from the ceremony a sense of awe washed over me the weight of my past mistakes lifted replaced by a newfound sense of purpose and self-acceptance it was as if a veil had been lifted revealing the immense potential within me inspired by my own transformation I felt a calling to share my story with others I wanted to inspire and encourage you to embark on your own journeys of self-discovery and healing as I move forward I carry the profound lessons of my journey within me my ayahuasca experience will forever be a pivotal moment reminding me that even in the face of darkness there is always hope and the potential for profound transformation this marks the end of our extraordinary journey a testament to the remarkable power of ayahuasca to ignite personal growth and profound change may you find the courage to embrace your own transformative journey and that's how my ayahuasca journey ended once and for all or did it