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Bill Horwitz - If I Had a Friend Like Rosemary Woods

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Uploaded on May 18, 2010

Ahhhhh Watergate. Rosemary Woods, Nixon's secretary. From the album Lies, Lies, Lies, I was amazed at how fast this song came out in response to Rosemary's "inadvertent" tape erasure. It was like, the next day. Anyway, enjoy this gem.

Quote from Wikipedia:
Fiercely loyal to Nixon, Woods claimed responsibility in 1974 grand jury testimony for inadvertently erasing up to 5 minutes of the 18 1/2 minute gap in one of the Nixon audio tapes (specifically, the one from June 20, 1972) that were central to the scandal. Her demonstration of how this might have occurred—which depended upon her stretching to simultaneously press controls several feet apart (what the press dubbed the "Rose Mary Stretch") was met with skepticism from those who believed the erasures, from whatever source, to be deliberate. Later investigators identified five to nine separate erasures. The contents of the gap remain a mystery.

Lyrics:
If I had a friend like Miss Rosemary Woods
by Bill Horwitz

If I had a friend like Miss Rosemary Woods,
How simple my life would be
I'd just give all my problems to Rosemary Woods
And she would erase them for me

Each time I was wrong or each time that I lied,
Or somebody made me scared
I would simply report them to Rosemary Woods,
And she could make them disappear

Oh, Ro, Ro, Ro, Ro
Rosy just you and me
Ro, Ro, Ro, Ro
How Faithful can one friend be?

If anyone asks how did this come to pass,
How come nothing you say is true
I would simply refer them to Rosemary Woods,
And you know by now what she would do

Oh, you in your way me in my own,
Rosy we can't go wrong
You just sit at your desk and erase me all day
And I could watch football at home

Oh, Ro, Ro, Ro, Ro
Rosy just you and me
Ro, Ro, Ro, Ro
How faithful can one friend be

Devoted to me like a leaf to a tree,
Like a prison needs a wall
I would get my protection from Rosemary Woods
And the world couldn't touch me at all

Oh, Ro, Ro, Ro, Ro
Rosy just you and me
Ro, Ro, Ro, Ro
How faithful can one friend be

Oh, Ro, Ro, Ro, Ro
Rosy just you and me
Ro, Ro, Ro, Ro
How faithful can one friend be

If I had a friend like Miss Rosemary Woods,
How simple my life would be
I'd just give all my problems to Rosemary Woods
And she would erase them for me

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