 Today's anxiety hack is if then. Now total disclaimer like with so many of the ideas I share this is not my idea it's a really widely used idea in cognitive behavioral therapy which is therapy where we try and change how we think in order to change our behaviors and actions. So if then takes worries and it helps us to think about what we would do if they were to actually happen. Now why this is helpful is because sometimes we've got lots and lots of little niggles that are worrying us and things that we're concerned about and they're just kind of sitting there kind of festering in our mind and they're making us feel very anxious and out of control and that's really hard and sometimes if instead of just letting them be there or dismissing them or saying that's not likely to happen and this is either true if yourself or if you're supporting someone if instead of doing that we go okay let's list them out let's figure out all the things that are worrying me or worrying you and think about if that does happen then what so if then basically instead of minimizing or dismissing our worries saying that's not gonna happen we run towards them we run towards what scares us when we go okay if the worst case scenario happens this is what I'll do so we plan ahead so it's really simple you would just list out all your worries about a particular situation or something that's upcoming and then think about and if that happens then I will X and it's actually a really good way of preparing for stuff too and it does mean that if you've got kind of worries concerns issues that might prevent you from doing something you can address them ahead of time now of course lots of the kind of worries that go round and around in our head particularly if we're someone who struggles with anxiety disorders they're not very likely to happen but just occasionally they will and by acknowledging that you know there's some outside chance that this thing might happen but if it does I have a plan for that and I can do that we feel more in control also voicing our concerns allowed and putting them in a list or discussing them with someone can help us to actually kind of it kind of validates the concern but can also help us to realize that this isn't very likely to happen which is helpful in and of itself but that doesn't stop us having a plan in place just in case so for example I've done loads of work recently around like exam and test anxiety so how you would do this with a child who had anxieties about a test or exam they might say I'm really worried that I might walk into the exam and the moment I open the paper my mind goes completely blank and I don't know any of the answers and actually that does happen to people that's a really valid worry and so we can say okay well if that does happen then what would you do and we actually put an action plan in place now what's going to work will depend on the individual but if it were me then I would be saying okay the thing that's most likely going to mean my mind has gone blank is because I'm really anxious I've gone into overwhelm and what I need to do in that instance is to calm down so at this time of calm ahead of the exam ahead of opening the paper I would say if my mind goes blank and I'm freaking out what I'm going to do is I'm going to use one of my breathing exercises like my five finger breathing or my box breathing for example it could be anything but you make a plan if my mind goes blank then I will do this some of the worries might be bigger and less likely so a child in the same situation might say what if I completely fail all my exams and everything goes entirely wrong and I'm going to be a failure in life and oh my goodness again these are the kind of concerns that children often come to us and instead of saying that's not going to happen we might look for evidence and that's a whole nother video we might look for evidence that suggests that they're not you know it's not likely to happen but in this instance we're saying okay well if you did fail all your exams then what would we do and we'd be putting this into context here and saying well there's different options here so if it were GCSE exams for example we might say well if you were to fail them then there's always the possibility to retake them or you might make slightly different options for the next year with your ongoing academic career and we'd explore what those different options might be we'd acknowledge that this is perhaps unlikely to happen but knowing that if it did that there's a plan that we could put into place and that things would ultimately be okay is really helpful so this if then planning you can use it for anything and the key thing really is get the worries out write them down share them in a list get them out there make them tangible and real and then work through them one at a time and go well if this happens then I will do x it gives a bit of a feeling of control as well as making those worries kind of real and tangible but in a manageable way so there's suddenly like instead of this kind of mess in our head they're like a list a thing we can try and manage and do something about and it gives us practical steps to take if things do go wrong so I struggle with anxiety hugely all the time like it's a real big issue in my life but I would have to say that this kind of planning does mean that sometimes people think I'm kind of supernaturally calm in situations when other people wouldn't be so I do a lot of public speaking and things go wrong all the time when you do public speaking like there's always tech issues and that kind of thing and lots of people who public speak a little bit get really freaked out by this kind of thing but me I've planned for every possible situation so I know if this happens then I will do that and so I don't have to worry and that's actually helpful too if you are a generally anxious person if you control the things that you can control and you know you've got a plan in place and that gives you a bit of a sense of calm and control then actually you're not expending so much energy and you've got more capacity to kind of cope with the rest of the stuff that might be kind of going around in your head so I personally find it really helpful finally if you're supporting someone who's anxious the other thing that this exercise will do as well as the kind of benefits of specifically doing the exercise is it will help you to understand them and the things that worry them and will give you a kind of context for exploring this further in you know in the future but also it will help them to feel heard and seen by you which is actually really important in terms of building that connection and that relationship so that you can work together on this. Good luck I'd really like to hear how you get on with it please leave a comment down below with some of the if thens that you've explored with someone and what contexts you've used this in. Good luck see you next time if you haven't please subscribe I'm still constantly aiming for the 10k so I can get on YouTube's creator program so please subscribe tell your friends to subscribe subscribe your cat subscribe subscribe and I'll see you next time new videos every Tuesday and Friday take care be safe and be kind to yourselves bye