 I'm not spider-man stop fucking telling me that no one's gonna believe you yeah man how you feeling you look a little bit down yeah my eyes are all sunken in look it's my engagement party on the weekend and i really don't remember it i do do you want me to tell you some facts and now i'm really paying for it i'm just it's just been a really fucking low couple of days mate i tell you what that's what that's what it'll do to you bender will make you feel down i literally like i just cannot remember the speeches i can't remember what i said i can't remember what was said i can't remember what i spoke to you spoke really well so did our mon's dad you spoke you both spoke really well and mon as well yeah like i was just so worried i was cringing that i'd done something drunken but no the whole night was that everyone's on best behavior i don't know why what are you doing so is that a fake beer yeah why do you like that i don't know it's just like something gross self and i've got like the taste of vomit in my mouth like uh it's because you're buliming now a zero percent alcohol maybe stop vomiting over your food down on purpose and you won't need fake beer i did it but yeah and the blue chair but um engagement party was fun and fucking had the margarita bar there and and then that finished at like 11 and then there was fucking kick on's and yeah it's just and now i'm so fucked it's just i left your house i think i got home at 4 a.m. oh really i thought you were there for longer maybe i was sorry yeah i reckon literally remember none of the time at my place and yeah i haven't slept properly i've just been riddled with anxiety and here we are trying to be fucking funny cunts mackerel felon fingered me at your party really he funny he assaulted me no i'm not and we it needs to be addressed you're spreading michael felon calling him out michael felon fingered the brown holy shit what was it like there would have been a dream come true he was quick but he said i was quite loose so just naturally went in like without any how far deep i felt deep why didn't you have pants on no i had pants on he got in though underneath i was taking a photo of matelyn handley and and jess and i um and as i was doing that i was in a vulnerable position and he snuck up behind me and got me i don't like this it's a true story all right okay there has been occasions where i've been with friends i remember poor ryan a friend of mine he got propped up like in like a celebration sort of oh like hooray he's in the sky you won he's 21st and it was exciting oh no i just went straight for his ass like just went when his teeth is like good i just kept moving it like and he started screaming oh my god oh my god and then put his finger up his actual arm through the pants but yeah like i was going i was trying to find the hole and then like once he gets down and the commotion is all settled he comes up to me and he's like dude you actually i was like yeah i know start laughing then he's sort of giggled it off he's probably so right there yeah we should maybe call and apologize it's getting for your fucking ass finger is one of the worst most like makes me jump so much oh yeah anyway yeah engagement party was fucking lit thanks everyone for coming and holy shit balls man i wish i could it feels like such a shame to not have any memory of that how do you not have memories i remember the whole amount of bed does what about mom does she remember yeah mom remembers much more than i i've just i don't know just it's just i've thrown this out before that that both of you lack memory a lot yeah i think it's from excessive use yeah i think like and one of the things is the older you get when you have a few drinks even then your memory gets a bit patchy it's a thing your brain starts to dislike deteriorate sometimes you have a fucking beer with dinner and then you like won't remember what you where you are i i reckon i agree with you because i even james lee who's the healthiest of all of us combined is um yeah it gets worse as you go i remember getting drunk when you were younger it's probably because you couldn't drink as much now you can drink a lot and it just wipes your slight clean whereas when you're a bit younger on actually we drank did drink a lot when we were younger i drank a lot more fucking i remember like you drink like a liter not a liter sorry but like a bottle of vodka you could get through in one night and you'd still remember everything when you were younger now if you have like third of a bottle the whole night is gone i had some blackout moments when i was young but i've never had blackout moments past like 25 yeah that's how it should be i think i think you guys are a different path well i started quitting drinking around that time as well yeah you didn't have one drink i remember i remember yeah no i had drinks of yours oh yeah so you had to get home you drink i drove you drank drive home i'd great i had about three drinks at the at the thing and then i had some champagne back at yours so there was no you weren't over limit no oh and let's actually talk about this car shit right did you know if you lose your license that doesn't mean you've lost your license michael no recently got his back yeah well he but doesn't mean normally you don't have to drive right well normally you're not meant to drive what michael's saying is that he drove the entire you can drive it's fine but we have to get caught we have our friends get caught but yeah it's annoying you know we've both had our license gone and we both just drove i don't know are we allowed to say that i think so i think it's not what i was like it's like you're just driving your car yeah that's why people who were in accidents and someone dies the other person loses their license as a punishment but they get it back and i'm sorry if you're like what 10 kilometers over we pay our taxes yeah fuck it like enough points shouldn't get you off the road for that like yeah anyway we pay our taxes there's a lot of punishments that are mixed in with the license that really sucks and hurts people and stop signs did you know it's three points if you do not stop completely pay our taxes if you do not come to a complete stop brown so i remember oh sorry i didn't mean to sneeze directly on your hand that's okay anyway if you if you go through a stop sign and you do not come to a complete stop even if it's one a.m in the morning three hundred and fifty dollars probably more now it's way more now it's probably like 10 grand now or some shit but look at this right michael's getting kicked out of this house i don't know if we've told you guys this studio and and and we need to find where we're gonna try and find a nicer place and matt needs a new place so we've just discussing before the before we started filming that matt should get the place and he can just live at the place where we will live so we will all be together all the time during the day imagine that yeah you could have days off now and then cook rice yeah come cook rice with his babies seriously baby rice pudding do fried rice stir-fry rice rice curries fucking brown rice black rice all right i like my couch right yeah well yeah we'll put cellophane so you know so you've already yeah matt doesn't want to matt doesn't like this idea because it would be a big place so you have your own little like big granny i'll come home and it'll just be covered in barbecue sauce yeah that's what matt's worried about he's worried about it because we we're silly billies to live with but we'll be paying a fair chunk of the rent my boy and i'm yeah i'm quite i don't want you to destroy my cow i want my couch yeah all right well look look we'll just put some plastic on it if we pay you more can we destroy the couch we'll just buy you another one thank you that's fair makes sense and anyway that's that's the discussions behind the scenes we need to move out of this dungeon it would be good i would be able to speak if i come home early from school i might be able to spend more time with you guys you might still be filming i might be able to jump in a little cameo in the background that's exactly right my friend there's opportunities start like oh brown could start his actual only fans yeah we could film that for you with isla well obsessed with talking about it he's been no stop i've been cringing at all the ringworms sending me screenshots that they've sent her that's people are DMing her all the people who watch the podcast we told everyone to go on dml last week saying that matt really likes her and that she really needs to respond to him and um she she still hasn't responded has she no so keep the hunt up everyone no no no no no no Instagram stop i love dot o dolly on instagram and let her know that matt really wants to talk to her and he's just desperate to please please just get one or two words from her please yeah just a second yeah i'll get i'll get i'll get two words fuck off oh wow imagine okay just go like forward in time a year from now you and i love with seven kids in a year yeah it's possible it's possible you could have seven kids in one birthing that could happen you could have this could be the one I figured out today this is the actual way you we're gonna find your future why no it's not and I'm I don't know how much more I can handle it you're talking about the last week's bachelor yeah there you go there you go Jess I believe you're welcome yeah so I chatted to her she's pretty fucking cool there you go you're welcome for that by the way signed up to our only fans no I haven't signed up to our only fans I'm being I don't know what I'm being you're being respectful I was gonna say that but then I was like oh I don't really care yeah and I'm sure she wouldn't probably I'm supporting yeah yeah you sign up to a fucking stranger's website and not out for three years can't fucking bullshit yeah yeah that's bull shit that's bull shit there's tits involved I'll tell you what there's tits on our website this week Julian was a little fucking Flele right and during our vlog during our activities vlog which is on the website right now he got a stripper over so there's fucking tits on our website you don't believe in him I don't know I can't remember but it was incredibly awkward that's a reason for you to know seriously there is a girl let him think that let him think that you could see breasts and that's the first time and I think everything was everything I don't know but like you get sees a girl naked if you sign up does that convince you to sign up now just at least the free trial you see the breasts and then leave does your friend offer you a free trial exactly not yet speaking of trials and shit sponsors are you a fucking disgusting dickhead wanker who fucks alone and sits in the dark screaming and crying because you're dumb and blind and you got hair all down your back shit and women when they see you or you're an idiot go to manscape.com and by all of their male grooming shit and have used our discount code for the actual 20 for 20% off everything they will turn you from a fucking one out of ten to a six or a seven out of ten and you need that you need to groom yourself go there they got heaps of amazing products shavers for every orifice for your body they got sprays they got washes they got a ball toner that's good ball toner they got they got a towel for your balls which Matt uses a lot if you're out and about walking around and you're doing physical things and you want nice smelling balls tell for that manscape.com our discount code fully actual 20 the link is in the description at least go to the website to have a look at some of the products okay because we've forgotten them all there's body wash is good I don't see the piece of paper the piece of paper the body wash is really good yeah they heaps of good shit fully actual 20 20% off and the fucking tell them tell them you know us right and they'll give you fucking 20% off what do you got here they got the crop mop the crop cleanser the foot dust of the refined colline and the plow 2.0 these shavers are very very very that is very it is very anyway manscaped the other sponsor of course is the University of Michael oh my god we have over 200 videos most of them like half an hour along where we post shit that we cannot post to social media and most fucked up experiments pranks sketches everything Matt Brown's on there there is now abreast on their brown yeah there's a breast so you just fucking and you don't need to pay straight away just go there sign up with a free trial you got 21 days to see if you like the content and if you don't like it you can leave there's no risk so you may as well go and have a free laugh if you think this podcast is funny you probably will like some of our videos Michael drank his own cum yes this pineapple come taste better as for science did it yeah and did we told you this you zone out whenever we talk about the website it's got breasts now though so you'll zone in maybe your right in on them very porn addicted in these days of learning oh really what are you been watching I'll just just look up pictures and just scan through each one find the angle that I want and then I just go there I create the scenario in my head and then you know straight into the into the bottle well if oh so you have been adding to the bottle that is good that is good to know oh my god how much percent fall I actually know I'm joking I haven't started oh bullshit I don't want to do you must and I reckon brown it's for a thousand dollars yeah what about virtual you should get a headset I don't think I be into it although I could use I could go I could go virtual and use the pocket pussy you guys bought me for Christmas yes if you got Oculus man that would be so fucking realistic or I could put virtual reality on and then like get someone to come over you just being creepy now matter we need to move on those are the sponsors everybody now let's rip into on this day bitch but before we do any of that bullshit yeah I don't know about that Matt Brown I don't know about our podcast blowing up in three months because of the things that we say and do that far too vulgar and we're back back do you reckon that's the reason why is because we're a bit too vulgar we aren't commercially friendly and yes that matters I'm afraid on this day in 1987 the first fake breast was surgically attached to a female chimp the surgery was a success and the doctor fell in love with the chimp even taught the chimp to suck him off for bananas he then added lip fillers and shaved the chimp he gave it acting lessons and died the chimps hair blonde the chimp learned the English language and realized it didn't need the doctor the chimp escaped and went to Hollywood there illegally changed its name to Pamela Anderson and went on to have a successful acting career I'm Matt Brown and I kind of want to know what it feels like to have a chimp suck me off is that right is that right actually Pamela Anderson well it's actually a chimp 35 years ago today well that is Tommy I'm pretty sure Tommy Lee has a pretty graphic sex tape with that chimp yeah wow whatever you're I guess whatever you're into sorry sorry about that anyway here we have Michael's Bible right Michael is a godlike person figure and has godlike thoughts and so he wants to read you a verse from his own Bible that he's writing and would like it for during this time if you could please refer to him as Bezos and not Michael okay please be Bezos your Bible I need the Bible anymore you just memorized look at this Down syndrome baby has only one leg look the Down syndrome baby has only one leg for those listening on Spotify I'm just holding a Down syndrome baby that you can buy from Kmart so I go to a stuffed toy anyway sorry sorry Bezos back to you this is chapter 420 living is human being dying is human being and baking is baked beans so many words there sound the same but all have different meanings even meaning sounds like being which could means I smell a storm at the air one which has no care being being and baking I think I'll stick to baking though it makes me giggle more than I can throw thank you thank you Michael that's alright that's okay everyone my pleasure okay here we go let me just oh my god this it's time okay oh yuck it's time for me to read an entry out of Matt Brown's black book in which he has detailed every single sexual encounter he's ever had his entire life okay and they become graphic and they're evil and they're twisted and I just want you to know if you're under 18 I don't want you to listen to this right and if you're a sensitive soul and maybe just skip ahead next three to four minutes right because this is not for the lighthearted mom if you're listening skip yes yes Jonathan it's under the Bible oh yeah shit I need to find where we're up to so last week Matt Brown finished his creation and a torso with tits all over it and fucked it what will Matt Brown do this week it was a beautiful morning the sun kissed my skin as it rose above the ocean I was casually walking along the beach feeding pieces of broken glass to the seagulls I loved this time of morning no one around just me and the seagulls I strolled in ankle deep water and took a shit the splash of my poo hitting the water made me chuckle my life was finally starting to feel normal again I kept walking and I just a large gray mass up ahead I thought it must be a random rock of some sort and continued on then as I got closer I realized it wasn't a rock at all it was a beached whale I trotted over to it like a nosy housewife and ran my hand along its massive body I reached its head there and staring back at me was its big beautiful eyes the whale lives it was a humpback whale not fully grown and adolescent if I had to guess at least seven meters long it looks quite plump I looked towards the ocean and sure enough there was its distressed mother I immediately shot into action and started tugging on its tail I used all my brown strength and dug my gout riddled heels into the sand I pulled and tucked but the whale did not budge it must weigh close to five tons I scanned the beach to see if there were any other humans that could help but it was futile defeated I walked around to the head and sat down I maintained eye contact with the whale and its breathing started to slow I continued stroking its head and ran my hand over its blowhole with my pointer finger I started circling the blowhole then it would dip my finger in occasionally hmm interesting I stood to get a better look this creature actually had a sleek sexiness about it my touching turned to groping and I lent in and tongued at the blowhole I could sense the whale becoming a bit uneasy which only fueled my sexual desires then I cheekily ran to the front of the whale and showed it my dick I slung my dick around in circles and made intimidating sounds the whale's eyes widened as I climbed onto its back I stood and looked out towards its mother when I could see the mother looking at me I once again showed my dick and slung it around in circles until it became hard the mother whale was clearly starting to panic then I took one look down at the blowhole underneath me jumped up in the air and dove my entire cock into it my hips crashed down into the whale so I could get as deep down into the blowhole as possible then I put my hands on either side of its head and began fucking the whale squirmed and made weird noises but my guts slopped on and off with every thrust I heard the mother whale making sounds and violently thrashing around in the ocean so I gave it the finger and hurled abuse fuck you cunt I'm fucking your daughter skull call the police I stopped fucking I slowly turned and saw that the around 30 meters away a whole family was standing and watching me the mother already had the phone in her hand and was calling the police so I knew I didn't have much time I started fucking hard and fast and I could hear my balls slapping against the whale's back I looked up and saw even more people running towards me this time there were three lifeguards and around ten other people word had gotten out about the beached whale and people were racing down to help what are you doing mind our own business I hissed back at them the blowhole started to split and tear and the whale's blood lubricated my shaft allowing me to increase my fuck speed I needed to concentrate I had to have this whale one of the lifeguards reaches me and grabs my arm get off that whale you fucking freak I ripped my arm away from him and vomited black soybean paste all over him don't touch me the other people stopping their tracks and look visibly scared I cocked my head back and continued fucking people were crying and two of them even threw up now that we're at least 30 or 40 people surrounding us then finally I felt it I locked eyes with one particularly traumatised teenage girl and began launching my mints deep into the skull of this whale my face twisted with pleasure and I came and came but I never once broke eye contact with that teenage girl thick black mints flowed from the blowhole and seared the skin of the whale I stood and my cock unplugged from the blowhole as I did I heard police sirens approaching for the street a hundred people had just witnessed me ejaculate in this dying baby whale they were down on their knees crying and shaking terrified of me I couldn't risk getting arrested again though and jumped off the baby whale and ran towards the ocean as I hit the water I heard someone say that poor baby humpback whale I couldn't resist I turned back to the crowd it's a sperm whale now can't I reach deeper water and start swimming exactly how a dolphin would swim with my arms by my side I kick my legs and shoot high out of the water and I make dolphin sounds as a shot all workers watch then bang the mother whale engulfs me and suddenly I'm in its mouth I try to grab on to anything I could but it's too late it swallows me I still had room to move in the whale stomach but this was not good however will I get out of this mass oh that was very intense oh my god so next week we hear about your like journey in the whale you're like Gepetto the father of the holy shit have you built a boat in there or did they write that story about you that man you'll just have to wait wait and see holy shit he's like Pinocchio gets swallowed by a whale right yeah yeah well he goes to find his father Gepetto is that what you would okay blinky it's why I had to leave the Gold Coast oh I'd like to see you swim like a dude it'd be better than bounding backwards to see that jumping high out of the water and then splashing back down playfully oh can you do that I could try to the sound anyway that's Matt Brown's fucking black book everyone fucking fucked isn't it anyway moving right along next you know I just realised who so I won't say names but like at your at your Declan engagement party yeah I ran into someone from school your school yeah dark 10 year and I was chatting with her and I thought from memory and the podcast came up and I was like oh please please don't watch it it's funny because I think back now and I'm like man I still cringe at the thought of like being embarrassed in front of school people I don't give a fuck about anyone else in the world isn't that weird so like she yeah what year did you go to school with it like high school oh okay well there you go and I was like fuck I'd be had she seen it no not at all and I was like I wonder if anyone from schools actually watched it 100% oh imagine seeing someone fuck a beached whale oh man everyone running over and he swims off like a doll and the kiss oh so yeah just that story is yeah very good those are sexy suave little story there baby mmm bestiality going on is it pedophilic if it's bestiality like what's the law there it's like gonna be pedophilic if it's if it's an animal so if you if you have sex with a baby lamb it's not pedophilia it's bestiality yeah we got it like that's some important shit to do an experiment we might need your help apparently oh no I won't get into it stealing someone else's joke but I was I watched the comedian talk about how that the there's different names for different age groups of younger people that you know that pedophiles sleep with it's not just pedophiles is like different ones except everyone only like remembers pedophile what's which ones pedophiles yeah yeah but I can't remember it my attention it's like a sort of late you are one no like up ones like 14 15 33 degree oh well there you go anyway um what else we should we do bachelor brown now oh yeah she's probably waiting yeah yeah names brook well bachelor brown is next and this is a segment where Michael and I have taken it into our own hands to find matter partner because he can't do it himself and we've done very well he's he's been talking to some he went on a date with one so this is working regardless of how he is how appreciative or not Matt Brown is this is fucking working there are girls talking to him left front center and he wants to see their tits I'm gonna tell this girl that you sick puppy well this one I reckon is the one and I never say that what's your hand yeah that's that hello hello brook is this is this brook I'm speaking with brook I'm so happy to talk to you you are on the Marty and Michael fully actual podcast which is actually the best podcast in the whole world not many people know that but now you do I welcome I totally know that she knows already so that's already a great start and sitting next to me I have a quivering shaking nervous Matt Brown and he's gone all red and he's got sweat patches got all over his back and he's got sweat patching his ass crack and Matt really really wants to get to know you and it's on we're just gonna just pretend like we're not even here brook I'm just gonna let it over Matt and you guys just get to know each other see if there's a bit of a spark he off you go Matt I'm good honey how are you I'm good you love honey that's sexy actually to be honest to us I'm quite exhausted it's been a long day sorry no don't be sorry it's not your fault it's just it's been a long day yeah what would you do Matt had just had a long day at work and he's just come home to you brook what would you do to help relax him well I don't know maybe a bit of a shoulder rub meeting him at the door with a nice cold beer maybe nothing but some high heels stop making those weird noises so where are you from stop yeah I'm from the Sunshine Coast oh cool yeah my mother just my mother just moved to the sun well maybe when you go to the sunny coast you could stop by yeah I have to spend more time get a shoulder up man what do you do for work what do you do for work I'm starting to study psychology actually doing forensic science and a bachelor of psych so I need a psychologist in my life that is actually I sit on this show and these two fuck with me constantly I think the first thing you'll be doing is going through your black book to start to analyze your mentally I think oh there's some definitely analyzing is you know awesome I love it Matt what would you do what where would you take brook on a first date here when you open up a little bit here like a little flower that's blue I don't know I like like people go for a while first as I like basic shit like there's a nice river walk and in Brisbane City how I did go on a nice walk you get to know each other that's what you did with the other I like that I like that there's more than one come on Matt okay brook would you stand up where you are right now and do a virtual dance with Matthew Brown slow dance brook that's gonna bum when you dance with it I'm gonna happen come on just do that hands out like that we always are there for you man you're hiding with that baby that sounds weird brook how are you that's his maximum like 17 or 27 come on why would you even why would you ever think that this was a good idea to come on here I love watching you guys and honestly I think you're a bit of a stud Matt a brook where do you live exactly in Maruti door oh that's right it's so close by my brown very close brook well look at that so many links it sounds like there has been a definite sparky off I felt the heat yeah that was electric yeah so brook would you be okay to continue this conversation with the brown on social media on Instagram if you haven't I totally would all right that's perfect so if you want to follow Matt Matt Brown so it's just regular Matt Brown and then four number one so Matt Brown one one yeah I'm already following you slide into each other see what happens maybe you go down to a full concrete plan and you want to give her some concrete too baby you touch the bomb yeah you guys quite a sexual she liked it I thought we were virtually kissing again I was getting used to hickey do you actually like neck kisses do I like what sorry do you like neck kisses neck kiss oh fuck yeah I love it that love is giving them it's always trying to kiss us on the neck thank you so much for jumping on other mats there's so much sexual tension here I can tell Matt you need Matt said you're top three he just whispered oh wow I'm flat it stop that he's touching himself nodding let me do it for you Matt anyway thank you so much and I wish you nothing but the best with you your future with the brown thank you it's a barbecue thank you for coming on bro might see you at the season finale bro sounds perfect to have a beautiful night guys hi was that fun you touched a bomb dude I got heavy man I got hot and heavy I found some confidence there in the chart yeah you almost you should have done the dance yeah you should have flicked your tongue out lots I was getting better than last week I really crashed and burn yeah last week not good bounce back a bit yeah yeah yeah you you really showed up and you it was comfortable to listen to dance so you shouldn't just grab the I think you should have danced to just a slow dance for maybe next time no that's private dancing no touching your ass straight away dude you took that neck loud but that was crazy and I saw you stick your finger out of it too you wanted to get in the bum to you see my stories earlier you sick man my brun sick man anyway moving on sorry please by the way everyone we are running a comment competition okay if you comment anything on any episode this entire season you are automatically in the running to win a thousand dollars okay we'll pick the winner at the end of the season okay so if you the more you comment the more chances you have of winning but right now we're moving into our comment of the week the segment where Michael me or Matt pick a comment at random from last week's episode that we love and we'll print it out and put it on this board and whoever's on this board also gets a chance to win a thousand dollars so two separate competitions so comment as much as you can because it's good financially so we have an issue with the board currently oh here we go we ran out of well we lost the blue tack in the house oh here we go so I've got many that are waiting to be put on so I'm clean and now the blue tack is definitely gone so we might need to buy some blue tack so the board's a bit behind but don't worry everyone what we've picked up are you will be on there Michael do you do we have the cow of the week this week oh yes we do all right everyone this is the comment of the week are you ready down syndrome has no legs break it down who did that all right comments of a zewek went to Steph Galloway and she said Matt gets more excited over concrete than chicks I doubt that yeah I highly doubt that that's the comment of the week everybody and now that her name's gonna be on that board she hasn't won in 39 chance of winning a thousand and if she comments man it's just like you know it's common sense to comment it's business so easy and you it's like you got far bigger chance of winning than the lottery and it's free the more you cut the more times you comment the more times you fucking chance of winning Matt comment twice you've just doubled your chances three times three times chances what's throw me a concrete term sentence say something so like try and win me with concrete what do you mean just say something come on come on impress us with your concrete come here we go impress us with your concrete me mean so like say something like if I was talking about tennis I'd say I prefer topspin over slice back and just to sort of be like especially when going cross court that's what we'd say and then talk something concrete go with the sentence I don't want to do this why not I want you to try and impress us here with your concrete knowledge you've been in the industry for decades it's been like 30 40 years I don't really want to do this this is nothing exciting about it oh man you could say like a cool like I'd say cutting concrete or different time I care about cutting concrete that's what I'd say my favorite concrete was a polished exposed yeah see not sure which exposed maybe a diamond Tina maybe Jabiru look at what you've come up with there look at what you've come up a richman exposed you with I don't know they're all wholesome terms anyway if you go and go with wholesome you won't know what those terms are anyway anyway before before we get into the the questions let's quickly call a place and scream yeah why don't you say oh yeah holy shit this is this guys this is the scream segment this is the scream segment guys we only started last week this is a segment right where we just call any random old business and then we all guess how long they're gonna stay on the phone for while I scream as loudly as I can can I make a suggestion that you just put some small breaks in to see if they say anything after the first one there's pauses oh that's right we said that instead of talking I'll be screaming yeah so we are like a normal talking sentence and then I'll stop wait for their reply and then I'll scream again yeah yeah you must engage with them all right all right so so those are the rules and we're gonna call I've just typed in restaurants near me so what what do we think what what's your estimation for how long they'll stay on the phone for I reckon you've got you've got 20 seconds no I reckon 12.4 oh fuck yeah no it's 20 seconds Marty I'm gonna say because this this will make it longer the fact that I'm having breaks I'm gonna say 27 whoa you guys are crazy by the way if this gets to a minute and they're just like not saying anything I'm just hanging up we hang up that's it they win they win yeah KFC will win right they get the point I will go buy some KFC from the shot oh I feel like it now but it's about to begin the soon as he answers I start the we'll be back right back with questions from you guys we just lost all that it's not recording and we're back maybe we should set up a fourth camera in here behind the scenes oh well maybe we'll keep we just lied to brown hopefully Connor keeps it in yeah well if you can hear it we were behind there but like yeah he based what do we do again we lied to Matt and said that we're just a little bit that's the sort of that's what we're dealing with my friends is it gonna get worse as you get old hopefully not maybe that means I just press stop if I want to stop it's gonna be me like having the same conversation with you's every three minutes on the podcast I reckon that could possibly happen if we do the world record what is it three days yeah yeah it's close to we will go well they haven't replied okay well let's just organize it ourselves and say it's the world record because it is we're gonna be honest well yeah it's okay we still got time as it gets towards the end of this like season I'll see if it's still newsworthy we'll fucking reach out and just say hey look what we're doing look me look ass everyone yeah I just I don't know I just just don't think it's news newsworthy enough without probably not without the Guinness but it's worth a shot let's just put a like a little can of Guinness on the table yeah see if they go for it and anyway fucking questions and this is where we answer your questions the questions that commented on the Marty and Michael fully actual YouTube channel alright we answer the most liked questions first and work our way down so if you like some other questions give them a like give them a little vote right and fucking comment your questions fucking keep going comment comment comment comment and the only you like questions are the you know the faster they'll get up and you may as well turn post notifications on so you can comment first because the ones that comment first they are usually get answered the most because they're there for the longest so more people see them so more people like them so they get up higher yeah Matt Brown alright top question went to Trent J. Benson depending where he's from question for the podcast when will there be animations of meth use have the stories have you seen it yes what did you think it's pretty alright so so we actually have the finished product alright it is it's like four minutes long we will be releasing it we don't we just have to make see if it's releasable on YouTube first I don't think it is yeah I reckon we'll release it on the website first animated you know and he didn't do did a very good job of making it like less fucked and it's animated so I'm thinking look we'll see what we can you can't watch fucking anime porn on YouTube yeah but it's not really porn there's no there's no like this oh there's some crazy shit yeah there's some sort of we're either gonna put on the website but don't worry we want everyone to be able to see it for free so we're gonna probably put on the only fans as well yeah but ideally we'd love to put it on YouTube as well we'll see we'll fucking see all right anyway questions see oh that was a question that was the top question of the week yeah next question is from Thomas Hooper imagine doing that with a real baby well show the camera squeezing a lot of that just around its shoulders like just probably anyway let's let's let's uh let's move along weird that we've all got it's everyone people listening on Spotify there's we have these babies on each one of us have a have a little baby wine has autism and one leg mines good-looking yeah I've been seeing you kiss it it's got blue eyes it's been kissing it off camera this is the ideal baby yeah this one this the latest one that's Michael's ideal all right next question is from Thomas Hooper what were Amber and Mon's thoughts on the podcast after they watched it live yeah they're like obviously pretty grossed out I think but like and I thought about like imagine like imagine seeing fucking amber like puller pants and puller cheeks apart do one of those fucking parts I think I could like it'd be like wow that's amazing it'd be so funny to see do that I would love that anyway yeah I think the face like I'm really red normally it's falling to the ground by Marty he's just like got no more fucking oxygen in him I've given it my all I've given it my all I've seen you collapse after benders but that time we're a fucking boys trip at that palace and you're up the hallway like five meters away and I just see you farting in the distance staring at me then you collapse and it was only me who witnessed it and it was honestly a 20 second fire and then he collapses to the ground it just starts moaning in pain nothing like funny I've ever seen in my life it was fucked up very good thank you all right next question from toad flicker hey fellas what was the repercussions of that egg to Marty's face it looked insanely painful that's when we copped it yeah that was very close to being a brew yeah it bled a little bit didn't it yeah it always bleeds at the start as it cuts but yeah I just had a bit of like a bruised eye but that could have been fucking that could have been like James and the apple to the eye which sucked oh man that I couldn't look left or right for a few days it hurt so much oh that was a very strange feeling oh you had to just move your head to see yeah it's doing old man with my whole body to look around oh poor thing all right next question is from ringworm D zero zero one all right question for the podcast Marty have you ever thought about going into voice acting no not really I could see you doing cartoons I could see you cartooning how do you even get into that though send an email off hey guys I want to be a voice actor oh you got to say more yeah next question is from oh actually this is not a question was more of a statement Liam I'm gonna fuck the last time up please don't help me down Liam it anyway Liam is going he's a big family I said the Hunter Liam is a big fan of the podcast a couple years now it's been the highlight of his Mondays but next Monday he's getting sentenced to jail he's gonna miss us and he's gonna be been watching it when he gets out in two and a half man speaking of some episodes backed up yeah at least you'll get to fuck yeah that's gonna be a good time when you get out my he has an internet access so you might be able to watch yeah I'm sure they would be I watched this show on stand called 60 days in yeah I've seen bits of James told me about it and it's so fucking cool it's these volunteers a volunteer terribly going as inmates but no one knows that they're volunteers they just think that they're other sometimes they like snitch on each other and say oh he's actually a fake so fucking interesting wow jail is like yeah it's kind of curious made me curious to go for a bit maybe we should go on the show I wonder how that's possible yeah it's in America the show but like the jails are fucking like yeah it's gonna be too much it's not a nice place it ain't like Australian I think the strange is like pretty sure in Australian jails you get like TVs and shit yeah yeah they're doing in the clear there but just one I don't know we should go for a visit all right tour well yeah are we allowed to do that I don't know I reckon if you could convince them that a perform forever we should just go we should just fucking email a random inmate and just be like hey hey let's have a while I've been to wake all prison in Brisbane you do did a mate yeah what was that like it was pretty sure record in the prison I record in the prison did you kiss it all the other inmates he was behind a board so we couldn't there's like a metal board thing I don't know it was like a newly he wasn't he hadn't been there long enough to be you know face-to-face holding ones but that also visited in the same guy at numbin bar farm prison which is like in the Gold Coast hinterland where there's no fences it's just all inmates like on the last couple of months ready to get out so yeah that and that was the average did you grow crops with them no well they so they can get away if they want yeah it's crazy they don't be they don't because obviously they're so close to getting out of out of prison what's the point of running away when you're out in a couple months next question is from Ed boy con save it reaction he doesn't actually say in videos but he's asking what are your worst injuries that you've ever sustained in life I guess Matt is obviously being single lonely and depressed it's an injury no wow worst ever fucking what's the worst thing you've ever snapped my arm when I was a little boy you broke your arm how fell off the monkey bars tell me the story I was on the monkey bars and I fell off you fucked your shoulder up all from the monkey bar arm yeah I landed on my arm and it snapped my earliest memories your parents didn't get that fixed one of my earliest memories no I didn't had to go to hospital had to stay the night and woke up in the middle of the night had no idea where I was it was the most terrifying night of my life yeah you would have been I imagine you being scared oh yeah it's terrifying three-year-old your mom didn't sleep over with you well I had no idea where the fuck I was so like a nervous laugh it hides the pain it pushes it down I had surgery on my arm all alone in Germany looking at the door watching all the feet walk past is that why because it was Germany yeah so what the hospitals weren't good and they couldn't let's say oh that's a little go home he'd be fine next question next questions from Matthew Knowles does Matt Brown ever try to punch Marty and Michael because of the bachelor Brown I don't think I've ever got I think I'd ever get violent at Marty Michael I just don't think I would you get violent at anyone else what do you mean in general yeah or if someone came up to you or the shops and they shoved you into the chips I don't say that because someone's gonna do it and then I'll get unless you tell what about if someone had a knife and they said look you got a punch me in the face or I'm gonna cut your mom no I'd beat him I'd beat him okay yeah it's not gonna happen if somebody came up with a knife and the front mom I'll win okay I just know when now people are gonna want to test that yeah don't do that obviously but now our next question from Zack Jeanette is there a science experiment you could conduct to see if there really is really is is extraterrestrials beings out there yeah there's something you can do to actually test the theory we're watching Jared Wright he's a legend by the way the creator of the Big Lez show his stories and it was like this little orb like at night first and then during the day the next day and I was what the fuck is that and he said that I don't know but whenever you think of them they appear so we're gonna go out and Matt you're coming oh yeah I'm coming as oh have we organized a date yeah it's like what he did five weeks away or something can you give me a date so I can get work off yeah kind of message me when you're hearing this and we'll confirm dates I think we may already have cool I need to know and we'll go away we'll contact the aliens because if you just have to think of them it does that'd be so good oh and if all this thing together it's like more powerful exactly well that's exactly what that's why we got that app to that that that we paid a huge amount of money for to contact them it's Stephen Greer's app we trust him it's Stephen Greer's Dr Stephen Greer he can do the way you go somewhere else what's it called astral project or my fucking astral projects gone the word is gone damn it remote viewing yeah remote viewing where you can like look at things anywhere in the universe through meditation through meditation and at any time believe it or not let that let that sink in he can go see something in 1950 here next question is from that's all I'm gonna say so yeah fuck Jared right on his stories go follow him he had fucking aliens on his stories just beaming in and out of this like yeah well yeah very beautiful anyway all right next question is from Patrick and then he found a five leaf clover not a four leaf a five leaf he found a five leaf clover and then two four leaf clovers all in the one story fuck off I swear to God it's like the luckiest man alive seriously show you after show him now show Brown now can you get on to Instagram yeah I'll show you will you believe this brown no if we'll get ready mate because this is real life soak in piss that's insane mate apparently they're grown near each other so if you find one there's more anyway the clover you might be a leprechaun or something the clover didn't impress me but the flying thing in the sky has me thinking yeah whatever he thinks of it appears anyway moving on next question from Bryce Carter Marnie will you be able to say my name at Bryce in German Brice Brice Brice Brice Brice Brice Brice Brice and next question is from FR SR Michael what's your favorite conspiracy ever the ones that are real that's a good answer all right sorry Brown Hucked his fly Hucked his fly Hucked his fly next question from G.R. Freeman one question for the polka has Matt Brown ever had a sexual experience with a demon or a ghost great question and I believe that you probably have I don't know man have been a demon definitely been a demon it's hard it's hard to know but you know in the early days of like having of or not just having but of when we were getting sleep paralysis sometimes I wondered if I was getting haved in those moments what they the fucking demons raped you well that's what I felt like because they pin you down dude did you rape you did you that's the thought that's coming on did you come because that sounds like maybe you next question them do you never got it might be in the book can you guys comment more about your sleep paralysis I'd love to hear people's thoughts and I read the comments and that would be so interesting yeah we love going through the course there's so many at the moment fucking keep it coming guys there's like a thousand over a thousand every episode now it's just crazy wow was yours like witch like gremlin there has been gremlin like yeah mine was a little mouse thing remember I did yeah he had a rat no mine's always been overpowering actually I had a mouse once and they're like in the corner of the room far away at the beginning but then they slowly get oh man and then it was on me and it was literally on me sitting on me I would have loved that mine was always this big beast like thing that would just fucking pin me down I had actually I had the like fuck you all I was thinking am I getting murdered or something that does have a sex ghost feeling holy shit I've only ever had the shadow man and they oh well I had the rat once I had the witch once too but mainly the shadow man they just walk closer to you and sort of pressure maybe just offer to suck it off okay Kyle suck you off like try and barter it a bit oh no that'll see that's what I did I accepted it one time and that's when I went in to lose the dreams you accepted it fucking you I accepted the attack and then but then I lose the shot into the stratosphere and that's how I lose the dream I laughed at him and then like it turned me into like yeah I just went fuck it oh funny times dude fuck me I want to do that it was better than any high I've ever had you sound like an absolute loony tune when you try to explain it to someone and you could you experience you understood remember me running down saying I just did it I lose a dream oh the shoot when you're shooting up in real fly like you are superman yeah you feel the wind yeah it's intense like it's something I've never experienced in my whole life anyway I think we just lost everyone gets sleep paralysis it's good no it's not good it's bad on you no and laugh at them and then you can control I feel like it's only in the times of extreme sleep deprivation that I've had it yeah true I'm shocked that you don't get it more yeah holy shit I'm just constantly like this shell of a man there ready alright next question from Peter hunt for all the boys what is each boy's worse habits you'll have to name one cause I don't know what it is Mach is his horniness levels his worst habit is he's always horny looking for thinking about sex talking about about having sex, being sex, seeing sex, feeling sex, enjoying sex, rolling in sex. Stop. So that's Matt's worst and Michael's worst would probably be, I shower more now. Yeah, his hygiene's definitely gotten better. I think Amber's done that. Yeah, I don't know. I'll have to think about it. I'm eating better. You've been eating better for a while though. I cough up some phlegm still. That's just from smoking. He is. That's real phlegm. Oh, that is fucked. Oh, Matt, you fucking touching it. I forgot Matt has like weird superpowers with fucking spit. Oh, my God, you two fucking sick fucks. It's speaking to you. I don't know if the wide camera can get this in. It's speaking. You might have to get up. Gollied on the table and Matt is playing and you are coming your way. You got a new worst habit. Okay, so I hope I can see you. Yeah, I got a new worst habit. Matt, he doesn't like snail. Looks like a snail. Oh, shit. What's your? What's your? Oh, fucking hell, move on. Oh, my God, no, no, no, no, no, come on. Fuck off. Let's fuck off. I don't think he fucking picked it up like it's too wide. You've got to go like this. Oh, my God, stop picking it up. He picks up his fucking golly. Man. Fuck. Oh, I don't think they saw it though. It's a fine feeling. It'll get deleted. The whole fucking video get deleted. I cut that table out whenever I think I thought we were on. It's all right. It doesn't need to be in shot. Shall we get another one? No. Come now. What's worse, blood or mucus? Oh, definitely that. Watching you fucking finger that is one of the sickest things I've ever seen. Sorry. Looks like it. No. It's like a dead embryo or something. Anyway, Marty, what's your worst habit? It's stem cell. Can you tell me what is my worst habit? Oh, um, um, my lack of sleep. Yeah. My inclination to smoke weed. No, I reckon like, because it makes it funnier. I reckon, oh, worst habit. I guess you give into the sugar. You give into the sugar too. Yeah, but not. Oh, I've seen you cookie. My self-control isn't the best. Yeah. That's not a worse habit. That doesn't bother me that you have no self-control on certain things. Oh, yeah. I don't even know what's about it. Oh, road rage. Yes. He can get fucking crazy angry. I used to, I look, I used to get bad driving. But no, come on. It's just fast. It's just a bit quicker than usual. Oh, no. I remember like driving into the valley with you and you were so enraged by someone you accelerated through a red line. It went red and you went, no. Straight through it. I was like, that's not. I don't feel safe. That would get so uncomfortable. Yeah, Matt won't drive in the car normally if Marty's driving. He's still like, that's hilarious. Some driver's just like, fucking, got to get there. Got to get it done, done. But no, I think my road rage has definitely cooled down heaps in the last three years. For sure, I would say. Maybe every now and then it's still have a little fucking. Oh, I agree. I get angry. Some people are so slow. Yeah, some people deserve it. Some people just like, don't fucking leave the house. Just stay at home. You can't drive the speed limit. If you're too scared, there's something wrong and the world has developed more than you have. And you need to stay at home and deal with it. If you're going like 20 under. I don't want to be an extra 10 seconds late. All right, and that's questions. What other? Have we forgotten a segment or something? No, lying to lucky. Oh, yeah, lying to lucky. He's in Dubai. Yeah. We can't. I call. It works. Let's ring him then. Fuck it. All right. What should we lie to him about? How can we say that? He's not in Dubai. I reckon he'll know that pretty quick. Just look at his window and see that he is. Good to know that he did that. What are we saying to him? Mom's dead. We'll just keep saying that the contract's fallen through. We'll tell him that he's mom. The contract's fallen through. We could say. We could tell him that we've. Tell him you bought Jackson's house. You were a secret buyer. Tell him that, you know, something's up. Like Jackson's hurt himself. What if he's like right there? That's why it's funny. Yeah, we'll be like, dude. Jackson's just DM'd us and he's like, hurt himself pretty bad. He's like, oh, fuck, he's going to buy that. Like, yeah, it's not funny enough to know straight away. What's something that? Oh, he's going to know anything we say to him now. Why don't we say Andy Lee won the Golden Logie? Yeah. All right. Does he know what the loggies are? Yeah, sure. Surely he does because Hamish won it, didn't he? Yeah, Hamish won. So I'll say Andy beat Hamish in the Golden Logies. Okay. All right. I'll say Jackson's been injured. Okay. If the gold loggies doesn't work, yeah, that's our plan B lie. Yeah. If anyone overseas, the loggies is an Australian TV award. It's like the Emmys. Yeah. But for Australia. That's exactly what it's like. And it's, yeah. Anyway, fuck. We're calling a lot. This is a segment where we just call Loki every week and just lie to him and see if he believes it. Anyway, here we go. Sorry. Sorry. Fuck. That sucks. All right. And that's killed that. Should we cut that? Yeah. Maybe cut that. Well, up to you Connor. Me up to you Connor. No, no, no. Let's leave it in. Let's leave it in. And people, if you have comment what lies you want us to tell Loki. All right. And as soon as he gets back, we'll hit him with some lies. Yeah, we'll do that. Do you want me to pick up there for like six months? No, no, no. Okay. All right. Yeah. All right. Next segment. The next segment. Hey, before we get there. What do you think of this comment? Here we go. Jet Greg Star. Now, I thought this comment was actually pretty good. And I've only just realized that it was there. But remember how you guys said Jet Star was shit? Yeah. And Greg's name is shit. Jet Greg Star. Oh, that's the comment. That's the comment I should have chose. Yeah. So I'm sorry. That was Rob's trains. I feel like we should kind of put him up there. That's not a bad Greg. Greg Matt. Greg Matt. I see a lot of Greg Matt. Yeah, that's a lot. They're good. They're coming out. Brown. Woodworks. Yeah. Greg Brown. Matt. Greg. Yeah. Good. Greg Matt Brown. Greg. Greg Matt. Brown. You can. Yeah. It's great. Anyway. god knows what this is. And Greg, Scissors always disappear. I found scissors the other day. Anyway, we'll open this one first. Hey, I'm opening this first package. It just says Marty and Michael fully actual on the front. That's exciting. It's a side. I don't know. I'm scared to I always get scared to push it. Oh, no. I hate canisters of some kind. Oh, I don't trust it. The what? I don't know. I just don't like the wrapping. It fucking freaks me out. Is that good? All right. There's nothing in here. Is this just a vacuum? Oh, this doesn't look good. OK, so I pull out another package. It's sticky. It could be flim. It's sticky. It says a package in a package. Can you open that? I'm so. Why did you do that? I don't know. Oh, Michael's opened his box at the same time. I think that's safe. Michael, I think I know what it is. So I got pre. All right, Michael's box is nearly open. There's some sort of black thing in there. What is it? It's like wrapping read the letter. Big love. Oh, no. What is it, Matt? What's in the back and canister? Oh, no. Fucking canister. So it's a bag within a bag and in that bag is a canister. All right, Matt, pull it out. Let's see what we got. Oh, it's fucking anthrax. Oh, no. All right, we've got some leather. Is this from Haley? Yeah, yeah. This is the leather, the leather girl. And she gave me some instructions and I forgot. Oh, no. She she asked me to let her know. All right, let's see what that is first. Matt, what the fuck is that? Oh, oh, you might like this. If this is what it says on the front, it says it's dried cannabis. Oh, fuck off. It's not open. Bullshit. Is this medical marijuana? Some cool belts. Twenty-one. That's a medical marijuana calendar. No way. Thank you, Haley. Careful, it could be a trap. It's not. Oh, smell. It is. Wow. Smell of that. Someone just sent us medical grade. How did that get through the mail? That's incredible. And there's a letter in here with it. We'll open this first and we'll get to Haley. All right, here's the letter. It's going to be cock and ball on it. Smelling really good. Yeah. Hey, cunts, me again, sent you that little bit of chopped shit the other week. How was it? Matt Brown is fucked still. He is. There's more. Yeah, but no, yeah. Yeah, no, you cunts are fully actual mad. Can't say Matt Brown's a star. Us over at the Secret Society have been watching you him closely, studying his every move, bounding backwards through the woods, little black book in one hand, little brown in the other, searching for disgusting sex to have. Other than that, the Secret Society hopes you cunts enjoy the good shit. We get the best of the Secret Society. And after all, I am the man. The myth of fucking legend. Love MML of Secret Society. Let's go to picture of Matt Brown's dick on the other side. Oh, thank you, dude. Wow. And he's just in his medical grade. Fucking legend. Fucking legend. That's good. Great. All right. Now, Haley has we've received a package from Haley. It's leather and Michael. I had to guess your measurements, by the way. So these are like super good quality fucking mail. Oh, they're like these are these are things you wear. They're suspended. Yeah, these are suspenders. I had to give them the measurements and I guessed. So hopefully they fit. So Haley's a belt for Maros. Like it feels real nice. It's good shit. And the feel of that. She's got a website. She's in Tasmania. Is that right? Hey, guys, Matthew Gregory Brown before you suck, I will make you a belt or suspenders when you subscribe to the website. So never you never get it. This is a good quality belt. I'll take it. No, I myself do not like some of the things those boys do on their website. They're twirling habits. For example, they really turned a new page of gross. I'll admit it. But come on, Mr. Be a part of the family and subscribe for fuck's sake. Anyway, what that says. Anyway, I design and craft. Listen, this is she's given us these gifts. Anyway, I design and craft these pieces for my business. H M J M I E N H M J. Me and they are made with solid brass and stainless steel, as well as top quality, ethically sourced leathers. Marty, that belt will last lifetimes. There is no glue or stitching. You just shot. Just solid Chicago screws for your subscribers. I have a discount code fully actual 20 in capital letters for 20 percent off all of her products. My website is H M J M I E N dot com. OK, H M J M I E N dot com. So go there fully actual 20 capital letters for 20 percent off. Get yourself some super good quality leather shit. Thank you very much, Haley. Thank you, Haley. I need like a good belt. I never buy a good belt. Some good box. That's like Batman wear that one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Don't touch that. You're allowed to touch this. OK. Yeah, look, she sent this one for you. It's a little key chain, Matt. And it says, nice. Fuck you. You put it in it. So you read behind. All right, time for the final fucking segment. And it is prank call time. He says, yeah, what the fuck? What are we going to do again? Hello, my name is Arnold Fan. OK, I come yesterday to buy a foot phone calls and I buy some milk. I buy a noodle, maybe some tomato. I give to my pick at home. My pet to pick. And now my pick is very sick. You vomit through the kitchen and my wife slip on the floor. She's sick, flicking around. So your food make my pig sick. Your food make my pig sicker. You understand? Sorry, what were you sorry? Couldn't have called you then. Could you repeat that place? OK, OK, you listen. I talk for a long time and you listen. OK, I come in your shop yesterday. OK, I buy some food, noodle, tomato, milk. I buy two, three milk. I feed to my pig, my pet pig at home. And the noodle and the milk, it vomited all back up. And the pig is sick in the kitchen. OK, have you got the item still? Have you got the receipt? Maybe receipts I look for. But my pick is vomit on the floor. It is slip around and flick and the roll from kitchen to lounge room. Vomit flick on ceiling. Pick look confused. OK, have you still got the bottle? Have you still got the bottle? I don't need the actual milk. I need the bottle. Have you got that? The milk I have to do a product, like a product complaint form and give you the refund for that one. If you've got the bottle, you can put it up and get the receipt and the report of the receipt. The milk, two, three dollars, no bigger problem. But my pick is sick. OK, I vomit in front of me. My wife screamed at me. She's sick too. And my pick are flicking around. I need to take to vet. You understand? My vet bill will be a hand rat. Hand rat, she's just been hit by rubles. Yep, yep, OK, all right. Sorry, I'm going to put you through the duty because it actually sounds serious. Please sign the line, please. Please sign the line, please sign the line. OK, OK, huh? Thank you for calling Cole. It's OK, I'm out of... Oh, they're not a person. Please sign the line, please sign the line. Did you know at Cole? Oh, fucking trick me, course. Please sign the line, please sign the line. Oh, fuck you, huh? Please sign the line, please sign the line. Talk it to me, yeah? I talk it to you. Because it's important... You know, listen, I know, listen. ...for the farm. Bitch! ...providing our customers with Australian food. I find you, huh? I find you, huh? Fish, milk, and noodle. You can learn more about Cole's Australian food at Cole's.com. Ah, fuck you, huh? We'll be with you soon. Mmm... At Cole's, we know... ...more talk-a-talk-a... ...from. That's why all of our Cole's brand Mmm... ...is sourced from Australian... That's a person, huh? Okay, hello. Sorry to keep you waiting. All right, so I've had a quick talk of the duty just about this situation. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Basically, I need you to be able to come in, bring the bottle with you, bring the receipt if you've got it. We need to launch a product complaint form. Basically, you know, they'll escalate it up the chain and they'll be able to handle it from there. Basically, any sort of thing. I totally agree that, you know, that what's happened is an unfortunate situation and it should not have happened, but we'll be able to get through this, okay? I do not know if I find the bottle. Okay, I look through bin, but my pick is a vomit. The vomit on the floor, after the noodle, I gave the pig noodle and the vomit in the kitchen. Who clean mess, huh? May I come pick up your stuff and bring them over to clean? Yeah, but I understand if you can try and find that bottle, it would be great when we can launch a product complaint form, all right? Just come to the store whenever you can, okay? Wait a minute, but who clean my house? I have a pick of vomit, a flick on the ceiling, and a flick on the TV, and a flick on the floor. Vomit all over the place, I need someone to come clean. My wife is sick, she in bed, she yell at me, oh, Arnold, make a dirty, shut up, yes. I'm sorry about that one. We'll see what we can do, okay? No, I'm sorry. Okay, I come down and pick up the, you bring you home, okay? I come and pick you up to bring to clean my house, huh? You clean my house! Fucking it. Oh, dude. That was one of my favourites. That Arnold's fine, it's so beautiful. Oh my God. Whoa. He's getting so feisty. Yeah, yeah, he doesn't have time for people's shit, plus his wife has been sick for a very long time with alcoholism. That was very good. The reason I said don't say anything on the hold, I listened to phone calls the other day on our phone system and we could hear the hold music, but at the same time, you could hear the guy in the background going fucking, motherfuckers, they pissed off. And I was like, I was like, and then it came back and he's like, oh yeah, hey, how's it going, guys? Like just, and I was like, oh, you suck, man. Yeah, that's what we want because he can, oh no, he broke character. And I was like, fuck, don't break character, yeah. But I don't think that, yeah, hopefully they didn't hear that. I don't think they did. I used to work at Woolworths and I'd never listen in on the fucking people on hold. They're like, sort of, the first chick was pissing herself laughing. Yeah, she was like, oh, was she? Yeah, she had it over, she's laughing in the background. She's like, I don't think I can handle this. Yeah, I couldn't do that. Really? Yeah. Oh, okay, either flicking little fit that you had, or you went full East, like full Germany, Eastern Germany, flicking up there, flicking TV, flicking cinema. No, he's fucked. Oh, all right, guys, that is the end of episode number, is it all over? Don't forget to subscribe, episode number nine, and you get your chair next week, in your chair. Is it good? Anyway, don't forget to subscribe, like, and comment if you had a good time here today, and we'll be back next week because we are the best. The best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best. Best. We're the best. Best. Best. Fuck best. This is what I really look like. We're the best.