 Hi this is Frank Conniff and welcome to Frank Conniff's America. I'm here today at Mount Vernon, the new home of Liberty, the Thanksgiving turkey who was pardoned by President Obama. Liberty how are you doing? It's the day after Thanksgiving and my giblets are inside of me and not you. So I take it you're relieved. By all rights I should be traveling through the lower intestines of a Green Bay Packers fan. Instead I've been plucked from certain death in order to spend my golden years living a life of grace and comfort at Mount Vernon, the home of President George Washington. The view here is magnificent. Let's walk down to the Potomac River my good man. General Washington in one of his letters about Mount Vernon said, no estate in united america is more pleasantly situated than this. Well I didn't know turkeys could read. Actually books on tape. So tell me about your visit to the White House. It was a delight to think that a humble bird, a domestic turkey, would meet the leader of the free world and walk away with his wattles intact. Ah it sends a chill through my tail feathers. I do see them shaking. Quit checking out my butt. Sorry so tell me a little more about your visit. Well the White House is lovely this time of year festooned with seasonal decorations. As for President Obama he is a real gentleman though he acted a touch perturbed when I asked for a cigarette. You smoke? How do you think they make smoked turkey? Pack a chest of fields a day unfiltered. Oh nothing compares to an H Uppman cigar from Havana. You wouldn't happen to have one would you? No that doesn't sound very healthy. And neither is being bred in captivity for the sole purpose of being slaughtered. But in any case I was pardoned for that as well as the other stuff. Other stuff? Turkey things. Nothing important and the convictions would have been overturned given time. Look at the Potomac spread out before us. See how serenely it flows toward the Chesapeake Bay. You have a criminal record? The evidence was rigged by Scheisters. Project Innocence is going to take up my cause. Project Innocence do they usually handle murder cases? Usually. Are you feeling well sir? You look a tad pale. I'm fine. What were you convicted of? It was all a misunderstanding. The bodies of those Guatemalan day laborers were too decomposed for positive identification. As for the tales of injecting them with tryptophan to induce comas for a ritualized bloodletting, that was just nonsense in the media. Must have missed that story. Oh look what we have here. This building is a working reproduction of George Washington's distillery. Would you care to come inside? I kind of prefer it out here. Nonsense don't be so contrary. My first life had a contrary streak. And look what happened to her. What did happen to her? Now come inside Lattie. Is it okay if I walk behind you? As you wish, but back to my case. The prosecution was riddled with demonstrable errors, including the withholding of evidence, suborn testimony. Sure is dark in here. If you look you can see these casks, which are attached to the copper pipes where George Washington distilled his own whiskey. Mount Vernon possessed the largest distillery in 18th century America. Alcohol has often been my downfall. Under its influence, I have done many things I have since regretted. Sorted, dark, detestable things. Look, it's been great talking to you, but I gotta go. Even with the presidential pardon, my life span will only be a year or so. It's the curse of being bred to be overweight. Gluttony, followed by early death, is my fate. It makes a turkey care less about the consequences of his actions. What? Well, this has been Frank Conniff with Frank Conniff's America. Hey, this door is locked. What's going on? Ow! Stop that! Hey, stop! You're hurting me! Ow! Ow! Stop! You're a dead man.