 I'm the Comic Weekly Man, the jolly Comic Weekly Man, and I'm here to read the funnies to you happy boys and honeys. Yes, boys and girls, it's Comic Weekly Time, and here I come right into your house to bring a little fun and happiness. Right out of the pages of Puck the Comic Weekly, straight into your living room, your friend the Comic Weekly Man, the jolly Comic Weekly Man. Hello, what up? Well, little Miss Honey, how are you today? Oh, I'm very, very happy here. Well, tell me, why are you so happy today? Because... Oh, yes, isn't that wonderful? Yes, yes, this thing I can play and worry about. Work, work, work all the time. Oh, but you did like going to school, didn't you? Yeah, for a change. Well, I don't blame you. I think a vacation for a change is a very good thing. Yes, you... Well, I think that's a very good thing for an old lady like you. I'm not an old lady. But you sounded like one talking about worries and everything. Well, I... Yes, it certainly is. Well, are you safe? Yes, I think I do safe. Well, I hope you have a nice, nice summer vacation. But I do hope you're not going to take a vacation from me. Oh, no, I... Oh, I most certainly will. Goodie, now can we read the funnies now? Puck the Comic Weekly? Very well, I'll read that in just a moment. But before I do, let's listen to this nice man. Now, here we go with Puck the Comic Weekly. And on the first page, under bringing up Father Beatle Bailey. Man, give words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Toot me a toot and tweet me a tweet. I'll squeeze out music for Bailey the Beatle. Today, Beatle Bailey and Private Zero, who thinks everything Beatle does is just wonderful, are going to the sergeant's office. One of the soldiers looks at Zero and says, and away he imitates Beatle as a crime to humanity. Beatle and Zero go up the steps and into the sergeant's office. The sergeant yells, Hey, watch that floor. It's just been waxed. But Beatle's feet slip out from under him. Hey, hey! And one foot comes up in the air and kicks the sergeant. Oh, you! How could any one person be so stupid? Last picture, top row, Private Zero, who always imitates Beatle, takes a slide and kicks the sergeant. Oh! First picture, bottom row, the sergeant aching from the two kicks' roars. Get out of my sight. I can't stand to look at you. The feeling is mutual. And Zero echoes, Yeah, I got a mutual feeling too. And out the door the boys go. Second picture, bottom row, Beatle says, Hey, let's go get a bottle of soda on you. Oh, why get it on me? Why not drink it? A short time later, Beatle and Private Zero are in the PX having a bottle of soda. Beatle says, disgustedly, Oh, fooling. The soda's flat. He goes to the window. Uh, you gonna pour it out? Yeah, I'm gonna pour it out the window. At that moment, the sergeant is approaching the PX. Oh, I need to calm down. Maybe a bottle of soda would cool me off. When suddenly a bottle of soda held in Zero's hand comes out the window and is emptied under the sergeant. So white! A few minutes later, last picture, Beatle and Zero come out of the PX. Now I think I'll take a shower. Yeah, me too. And the sergeant who's been waiting for them aims a water hose at him and... I didn't mean now. Yeah, me too. And emptied the soda out the window the way Beatle did. And soaked the sergeant with soda. No wonder that sergeant got mad. As you bet he did. Well, now let's see what's happening to Roy Rogers. Shall we? Very well then. Let's turn over the page, go past Ripley, past Prince Val, who has a terrible fight with a big Husky fellow in Ireland, and whips him. Then turn over the page, cross over the page, and turn over page 5. And there on page 6 of the first section is Roy Rogers. Yes, and two crooks had secreted their loot on the balloon. And when they saw Roy and Wildwood on the ground with a collapsed balloon, they sneaked up on Roy. There was a dam. Well, we ought to find that out right now because J.L. Dangerfield, owner of the carnival and the balloon, has just ridden up. So here we go with Roy Rogers, king of the cowboys. Hi-yip-yo! Now here we go with Roy and Trigger. Hi-yip-yo! Dangerfield's man, Jimmy, lifts up the balloon. Dangerfield sees Roy and Wildwood lying under it, bound and gagged. Igad, Roy Rogers, my old friend. Quickly, Dangerfield and Jimmy untie Roy and Wildwood. Sounds the minions of the law shall hear of this. Last picture top row, Wildwood tells Dangerfield about the bag the crooks took from the basket car. Roy says, you know, I've got an idea about this. Let's return to the carnival. I want to talk with your regular balloonist. Short time later, Roy and the others ride up to the carnival. They see a sign staked out in front which reads, closed by order of the sheriff. No one can do this to Jay Lucian Dangerfield. Or can they? They see the sheriff near the office wagon. I say, Sheriff, what's this all about? Well, Dangerfield, a Cedar Creek railroad payroll has been stolen. Robbers trail straight to your show grounds. But there must be some mistake, Sheriff. My life is an open book. Roy turns to Wildwood and says, hey, you know, things are starting to fit together, Wildwood. Hey, where's that balloonist whose place you took when he accidentally got clawed by that bear? Wildwood points out the tent saying that his name is Mike Cole. Last picture, Roy says. Well, you wait here, will you, Wildwood? I want to talk to Mike Cole. And inside the tent, Mike Cole, who has overheard what Roy has said, draws a gun. And hearing Roy's footsteps approach, mutters, if he's wise, my balloon was carrying the railroad payroll. I'll take care of him quick. Yes, it was the railroad payroll. Mike Cole had put it on the balloon so he could take it to the bandits. But he couldn't, though, because his arm got hurt, do you remember? Yes, and Dangerfield sent Wildwood or Dowd up in the balloon instead. Now we know exactly what happened. But look at that. Well, we'll find out about that next week. We'll look across the page. There's Peter Pan. Oh, yes, you made it. Yes, you made it. But now Captain Hook and the pirates are the prisoners of Peter and all the boys in Neverland. I wonder how. Well, let's read and find out. Here we go with Peter Pan. Say the magic words with me. Pirates, crocodiles, Peter Pan, whisk up music for Neverland. Peter has captured Captain Hook's ship. The pirates are ordered into one of the boats, which is lowered, and away they row into the seas beyond Neverland. Row, you bilge rats! Row! The children lie in the rail of the ship and shout, Captain, a fish, a good fish. And the crocodile follows behind, hoping Hook will fall overboard and provide him a good meal. Then Peter turns around for the children and takes command of the ship. All right, men. Man the captain. Hoist anchor. Heed those halyards. We're casting off. We're sailing home to London. Up comes the anchor. Now to sprinkle some pixie dust on the ship. At last picture top row, the ship transformed by pixie dust into a golden galleon, soars into space above Neverland. Up, up, up into the air it goes. And they're on their way to return the darling children to their home in London. First picture bottom row, in the middle of the night in London, Nana, the children's nurse dog, sees the ship come sailing toward the house. She watches with wonder as the great golden ship floats to rest outside the nursery window. A plank is extended from the ship's rail to the nursery window, and Wendy and Michael and John cross over to their own room again. Third picture bottom row, Peter calls to them. Well, goodbye, Wendy, John, Michael. Don't grow up too fast. And one of the boys on the ship says, Well, we don't want to grow up at all, Pan. We're going to stay with you. Tinkerbell waves goodbye. And then the ship is off on the return trip again. Last picture, Wendy waves from the window. It's not really goodbye, Peter. I know we'll see you again. And Peter and his loyal crew set sail for the second star to the right. Then straight on till morning. And neverland. The end. Yes, it looks as if they have. No. Yes, what a wonderful adventure they have. Yes, it was exciting. Is that the end? I'm afraid it is. That was the one story of Peter Pan. You're welcome. I love the story as much as you did. And since you like Walt Disney's Peter Pan so much, you'll be happy to know that next week there'll be another Walt Disney story in the comic weekly. What's the name of it? The Sword and the Road. Ooh, that sounds like a good story. Swords means it must be adventure. Well, I'll bet you you're right. And you can find out next week. Good, I will. Fine. Now let's turn over the page. And on the last page of the first section, there's Flash Gordon. Yes, Flash. And you remember, Air Force wanted Flash to go on a new adventure. Yes, a new planet had been discovered in the skies, and they want Flash to investigate. I wonder if he's going on this trip, though, because you remember Dale didn't want him to? No, she didn't. Well, let's find out now. Here we go with Flash Gordon. Rigger, rigger, doon doon, saskam-a-tash. Let's have music for heroic flags. Flash has agreed to head the expedition to explore the new planet Titan. Everything is in readiness for the trip. He says farewell to his old friend Zarkov, and then last picture, top row. He takes off, destination, the planet Titan. The first picture, bottom row, the pilot says to Flash, Well, Flash, run away. Are the things we find on Titan? We'll be rich when we return. Flash says, are your dials reading normal? Hey, there's something bagging inside this storage locker. Flash opens the locker and then exclaims, Dale, sure enough, it's Dale who steps out into Flash's arms. Listen, I thought I told you not to come. Dale tells Flash not to be angry with her, that you couldn't bear being left behind. And of course, there's nothing Flash can say. Last picture, he shows her around the interior of the ship. She sees a pair of gigantic handcuffs and huge chains. She turns to Flash with something like horror on her face and asks, What do you expect to find on Titan? Dale likes to always be with Flash. That's because she loves him. And perhaps because she has the same adventurous spirit that Flash has. Well, maybe we'll find that out next week. Now it's time to pick up the first page of the second section of the comic weekly. And I'll read them in just a moment, but first use that nice man again with something interesting to say. Now here we go again with Pucked for Comic Weekly. And on the first page of the second section, Dagwina Blondie. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. But I'm a fool, I'm a fum, zim, zim, zummy. Conjury music for Dagwina Blondie. The bumpsteads and their neighbors, the Woodleys, are on a picnic today out in the country. They've just unloaded the car and are spreading all of their stuff on the ground. Isn't this fun? When a farmer comes up and snaps, this is private property. You'll have to have your picnic up on that hill. Last picture top row, they've packed everything and climbed to the top of the hill. Herb puffs. This is a good place for our camp. First picture, second row, Dagwood says. Okay, get the lunch started in the far-going girls. Yeah, we'll catch a mess of fish for you. Isn't this fun? And off the boys go to catch fish, as the girls prepare to make the lunch. Isn't it wonderful to get away from the stove in the sink, Blondie? Yeah. 20 minutes later, last picture, second row, Dagwood and Herb are out on the lake fishing. Herb explains, hey, these mosquitoes are driving me crazy. Yeah, and to think of all the fuss I make if just one gets in my bedroom. First picture, third row, Blondie comes up the hill carrying a thermos jug of fresh water. And Tootsie's been having her troubles. Oh Blondie, the ants eat up the food as fast as I uncover it. Back on the lake, Herb suddenly exclaims, hey, hey Dagwood, I've got to bite Dagwood. Oh boy, isn't this fun? Suddenly Dagwood goes head first into the water. Last picture, third row, Herb reels in his line. Boy, oh boy, oh boy, what fun. Garly boy, oh boy, what a bite. This is a big one. Boy, look at my poor bend. When out of the water at the end of his line comes a fishbowl with Dagwood on the end of it. Hey you. Yeah, yeah. Our lines were caught. 15 minutes later, Herb staggers up to the top of the hill carrying Dagwood who's practically unconscious from being underwater so long. He dumps Dagwood onto the ground in front of Blondie. There, this is all I could catch. Go ahead and fry it. And Blondie who's been struggling with the fire exclaims. And the ants have eaten up half of... The car pulls up in front of the busted house. An outpiled Blondie, Dagwood, Tootsie, and Herb. Their arms full of the stuff they took on their picnic. Second picture, bottom row, they dash for the house. Dagwood shouts, oh, sweet home. And last picture, they have the food spread out on the kitchen table. And as the men start to gulp it down, Dagwood says, ah, there's no place like the kitchen for a picnic. Isn't there? Well, that was some picnic. Yes, after all that trouble, they have that picnic at home. Dagwood's family. Well, now let's turn over the page and go past Little Iodine, cross over the page past the Lone Ranger, turn over that page, and here on page five is Donald Duck. And we'll read your favorite, favorite right away. Here we go with Donald Duck. Say the magic words with me. Squeegeum, squeegeum, squeegee, chicka-chack. Let's have music to pet a quack-quack. Donald has decided he wants to buy himself a bird. And he's in a pet shop looking at a pretty little parakeet that has a price tag under it reading $10. Donald looks at the bird. Wow, cute. My ten bucks is a lot of dough. But he turns it over in his mind. Okay, this one. Yes, sir, son, ten dollars. And the cost of a cage? A tatatsum. No cage for this bird. Just an exercise square, that's all. One buck. Short time later, Donald is at home with his bird, and he exclaims, Imagine, so tame it doesn't need a cage. He sets the little parakeet on its perch on a table. Well, you are birdie. Safe and sound in your new home. And then fourth picture top row, Donald picks up a book and settles down to read. Well, let's see. Oh, yes. The mama bear sent to the papa bear. When the bird flies over to Donald and sits right on Donald's head. Wow, wow, wow. What do you know? Donald takes the bird off his head, carries him back to his perch last picture top row. Well, look, buddy. Here's your perch, not my head. Donald goes back to his chair and starts to read again. Ah, the mama bear sent to the papa bear. When the bird flies through the air and lands on Donald's head again. A half hour later, Donald walks into the pet shop. The bird's still sitting on his head. He says to the proprietor, I must go back. This midget buzzard won't stay off my head. Oh, dear, dear, dear. I'm terribly sorry I should have known better. I gave you a mama bird instead of a papa bird. I'll exchange it. The last picture, the pet shop proprietor takes the bird off Donald's head saying, naughty girl trying to hatch the gentleman's head. And Donald goes. Donald didn't think that a bird would think his head was an egg. Well, now let's turn over the page. And here we are on the last page of the comic weekly with Dick's Adventure. Oh, yes, and you remember both. And Dick and a nice girl named Sarah were riding along the river in a horse and buggy. And they saw a boat come running. And the horse became frightened and started to run away. I wonder if they'll like it. Well, let's read now and find out. Here we go with Dick's Adventure. And now let's turn over the page. And here we are on the last page of the comic weekly with Dick's Adventure. Oh, yes, and you remember both. Let's go and find out. Here we go with Dick's Adventures. Say the magic words with me. Rickety-pack-a-zack-a-zick. Let's have music for adventurous Dick. The runaway horse gallops madly down the road. Oh, there. Oh, boy. Easy there. Easy. Slowly the horse responds to Dick's masterly hold on the reins. And he finally comes to a stop. Crowds of frightened farmers have lined the river bank first picture, second row. One of them shouts, Hey, the river's burning. It's the devil's work. Last picture, second row. Dick tells them, Hey, there's nothing to worry about. It's only a new kind of boat. My friend, Robert Fulton, invented it. First picture, bottom row. They see the boat veering toward the great river front estate of Chancellor Robert R. Livingston. Hey, come on, Sarah. Let's get over there quick. By the time that Dick and Sarah reach the pier, last picture, the monster looks peaceful enough now. It's lying alongside a pier. And a pleasant-faced man is smiling. Well, any passengers? And Dick shouts, Yeah, us, us. You must remember, though, that in those days, no one had ever seen anything like that on the river. I wonder if... Well, we'll find out. But now look below Dick's adventures. There's Rusty Riley. And remember, a strange man came to the Dooley Place last week where Rusty's staying. And he was asking Rusty about a horse named Silverland. Yes, he's out. That's right, he does. And now maybe we'll find out whether Rusty gets that job or not. Here we go with Rusty Riley. Gallop and run till the road is dusty. Give us music for his horse and Rusty. The man who had come looking for the horse is talking to Rusty. My client will be here shortly, lad. Sure looks as if I found the horse he's looking for him. And this Dooley says she'll be glad to sell him. Gee, I wish he'd buy both of the horses and give me a job taking care of them. Because I got him looking a lot better already and besides, mister, I need a job with a place to live. Well, you can't tell, son. Maybe he will. Short time later Rusty is sitting in the barn thinking about the situation. When he hears a car pull up. Last picture top row he hears a voice say, My boss sent me instead of coming himself. Where's the horse and who do I do business with? Why, you pay Mr. Sam White at the bank. If there's a slight hitch, there's another horse, a mare. You see, Miss Dooley will sell Silverland only if you take the mare too. First picture bottom row. Rusty hears the detective go on. Well, one other thing. There's a boy who's been working at the stable boy here. Could you by any chance give him a job? Well, I'm sorry, but I don't have the authority to hire anybody. You know, I'm afraid I can't. Rusty sighs and says, Well, that's that. Come on, Flip. He goes out of the barn and starts to walk down the road. The man who had come in the car sees him. Second picture bottom row he suddenly says, Hey, is that the boy you were talking about? Great guns. Either I'm dreaming or... Hey, wait a second, lad. Rusty looks around and exclaims, Cheapers! And then he shouts last picture, Tex! Sure enough, it's Tex. Rusty's old pal from Milestone Farm, who holds out his arms and joyfully exclaims, Rusty! Yes, and he has sent Tex to get the horn. You bet it was. Well, I have a hunch he will, but to make sure about that, you see me right here next week. I certainly will. Now, that's all the time I have, but before I go, here's that nice fellow with some more interesting information. Honey and all your boys and girls, I gotta go now. All right, Mr. Connick. Okay, that's a date. And a date with all your boys and girls. Be sure to meet me with a little friend, Miss Honey, next week, when I read Puck the Comic Weekly. Oh, I'm the Comic Weekly man, the Jolly Comic Weekly man. I'll be back to read the funnies to you happy boys and honeys. Don't forget, boys and girls, see you all next week. Your friend the Comic Weekly man, the Jolly Comic Weekly man.